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When a Doctor Asks If I am Sexually Active When my Mother is in the Room (imgur.com)

submitted ago by JessicaStar16[!]

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[–]HenryGifford 125 points126 points ago

At 16 I would recommend you ask your mother to stay in the waiting room while you see the doctor.

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 99 points100 points ago

Did. She got mad and said she had the legal right to be there.

[–]keeganadavis 142 points143 points ago

you have the legal right for her to not be there. boom.

[–]DemonMuffins 33 points34 points ago

Sources and citations please.

[–]keeganadavis 167 points168 points ago

my ass

a few minutes ago

[–]dotgeorgie17 10 points11 points ago

In the UK, your parents aren't supposed to come into the room with you unless you request them there. You have to specifically say you want them there. I go to boarding school and when I was getting a minor surgical treatment they asked my school nurse to wait outside (she took me to the hospital) and I had to be like "no, I'd actually like her there" because she'd asked if it were okay to come in to see the procedure. Also, my mum tried to tell the doctor that she didn't want me on the pill when I was 16 and the doctor straight up said "It's not your decision to make, your daughter is over sixteen so you can't make that decision for her. You can talk to her and express your views but if she wants it, I'm giving it to her regardless of what you say because that's my legal obligation." My mum kind of stopped bothering after that, but I thought that was pretty kickass for the doctor to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Actually, you specifically have to ask them to leave. Otherwise it's assumed you're ok with them being there. And at 16+ you don't even have to have anyone at all, you can just go to clinics/appointments etc on your own, or with a friend. But you do have to say if you don't want them there, otherwise most doctors - correctly or not - will just assume you do.

[–]dotgeorgie17 1 point2 points ago

Hmm, maybe it's just the hospitals and clinics I've been to then, because everywhere I've been medically since I was 16 has said I specifically have to ask for someone to come in with me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Maybe. But I go hospitals pretty regularly for check ups and they have never once asked me. Not that I would so no (so far) but when the time comes that I don't want them to be there then I'd have to specifically say so.

[–]lunertexcosmo 39 points40 points ago

You have the legal right to boot her out. It's not just because you're older and would like privacy though. But that's a big part of it. They like to ask questions about your home life to make sure you're not in any danger there. That's why they ask if anyone in the house smokes, owns guns, etc. Of course, sexual activity is one they'd rather not have the parents in there for too. It's just easier on the doctors and the patients to not have parents in the room since people aren't always comfortable with personal questions. Next time you go, just tell you mom how you feel. If she can't accept that you're not her baby anymore and have a right to privacy regarding YOUR medical health, then that's her problem and there's nothing she can do about it. However, if you end up getting something serious like cancer (God forbid), then they may want an adult to be with you (not necessarily for a physical but in general) since there's a lot of information to absorb.

[–]viiScorp 16 points17 points ago

**YOUR*

[–]lunertexcosmo 1 point2 points ago

Oh... fffuuuu.

[–]viiScorp 3 points4 points ago

You can edit your post you know bro...

[–]lunertexcosmo 1 point2 points ago

fixed.

[–]Mariposa1667614 4 points5 points ago

My doctor has us fill out a survey thing asking these questions. Maybe you could ask them if they could do that?

[–]Devils_Gambino 1 point2 points ago

My doctor does that but asks questions about the ones I've circled yes on

[–]b00n96 -4 points-3 points ago

Agree with you with 100%, but OP's parents are the ones paying for the visit(I'm assuming). My parents are respectful with my privacy but if they want to know what's going on and their paying for it, I'm not going to argue.

[–]lunertexcosmo 0 points1 point ago

That would actually depend on your health coverage wouldn't it? Some I believe have you pay some kind of small $20 fee. Others might have it covered since you're paying a lot of money for healthcare to begin with.

[–]lunertexcosmo 0 points1 point ago

So you really don't mind your parents in there while the doctor is... you know... giving you a check up?

[–]b00n96 0 points1 point ago

When I got a physical last year, I was asked the questions in front of my mom. I answered the questions honestly. Then, the doctor booted her out before I dropped my pants. My parents aren't going to want to see my junk anyway. If she really wanted to stay, when I was a minor, I honestly wouldn't care. Would it be awkward? Sure. Though I'm not embarrassed about my body, regardless who looks at it.

[–]TheGoldenRose16 8 points9 points ago

I think at 14 you're allowed to have the doctor kick them out. At the doctors office I go to anyway

[–]Gavalar16 4 points5 points ago

She doesn't. Ever heard of doctor patient confidentiality?

[–]midnightunicorn15 2 points3 points ago

She doesn't. Tell your doctor that you would rather she wasn't there, they'll deal with it.

[–]PandaSandwich14 0 points1 point ago

No she doesn't. Doctor Patient Confidentiality and asking questions about the home mean she can't be in there.

[–]lethalweapon10015 4 points5 points ago

Once I took a nasty spill off my dirtbike. After a few days the conditions of the wounds only got worse so we went to the local urgent care. They cleaned the cuts, perscribed me some happy pills (FAK YES) and sent me on my way. But first they asked me if I was sexually active and offered me an HIV test. Obviously I said no to both...my MOM was right there. If it was my dad I wouldve been honest and answered "..maybe...a bit". But seriously who asks that?

[–]MRobley 0 points1 point ago

That's what I did at my last "checkup". My mom stayed outside, because what choice did she have?, but she got all suspicious.

[–]mundo5317 57 points58 points ago

"Does masturbation count?"

[–]thyyoungclub17 55 points56 points ago

Why the fuck

does a 16 year old have their mother in the doctor's office with them?

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 38 points39 points ago

She insists she goes with me. Trust me I've asked.

[–]afuckingHELICOPTER 32 points33 points ago

"You know, I would hate to have to tell the doctor about that time you hit me..."

[–]watchpigsfly 12 points13 points ago

"That time?"

Like, only once?

[–]Sloppy_Twat 2 points3 points ago

So does your mom go have a look see on your OBGYN visits too?

[–]thyyoungclub17 0 points1 point ago

Well, damn.

[–]42oodles17 24 points25 points ago

because the truth would be no right?!

[–]derpy_lurker16 11 points12 points ago

Nothing gets past you 42oodles.

[–]GenericCommentGuy16 22 points23 points ago

That feel when your female doctor says you have to show your penis

[–]theguybesidesyou17 12 points13 points ago

... and you poke her eye out with it

[–]Capexist 17 points18 points ago

"Jeez, sorry about that. This is why I don't have a girlfriend."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Been there.

[–]mydogisnamednigel15 3 points4 points ago

Every time they give me that exam, I laugh. Full blown uncontrollable laughing at the top of my lungs.

[–]nunsrevil18 4 points5 points ago

I had the sexiest little asian doctor ask me that, and i was kind of embarrassed 'cause i thought she would think it was small.

[–]ImperialUlfric16 9 points10 points ago

Oh, the jokes I could have made from this comment...

[–]Zombie_Feeder 0 points1 point ago

I always get the old foreign doctor who says that :(

[–]KingN16 9 points10 points ago

Is she in the the room the whole time? Wouldn't your doctor ask her to leave so they could get an honest answer from you?

[–]cobberschmolezal 4 points5 points ago

nope

[–]goofygoobarock14 6 points7 points ago

This is my cnversation with my dad the last time I went to the doctor.

"Wait, why aren't you getting up. They called my name."

"Yeah, they called your name. Have fun, remember to tell him about that thing on your foot."

"Aren't you coming with me?"

"Um... no? You're 13, take responsibility for your life."

I was also the one who had to schedule the appointment, because my dad doesn't believe he has the right to do that, even though I begged him.j

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Your dad is awesome.

Is your foot okay?

[–]goofygoobarock14 2 points3 points ago

Ugh yeah, but I have plantar warts on two of my toes and the sole. I apparently got it because my mom has it on her feet, and has been walking around barefoot around the house -___-.

They ended up freezing it with liquid nitrogen, but it's still spreading. I've been trying to get rid of it with Compound W. Ain't working. Luckily our insurance covers all that, because my parents' workplace is awesome.

[–]PandaSandwich14 19 points20 points ago

  1. Why is your mother in the room?

  2. Some of us are open with this kind of stuff.

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 27 points28 points ago

  1. She would not leave
  2. I would want to tell my mother about it if I did it only when I was ready to tell her

[–]PandaSandwich14 2 points3 points ago

What about you talk to your doctor about it? if you don't feel comfortable with her in the room, i would assume that doctor would tell her to leave.

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 8 points9 points ago

It's one of those questions the nurse asks. They have a list of questions they go through for every patient. If I get an exam my mom leaves, but only then. She absolutely refused to stay outside any other time.

[–]Sedentes 3 points4 points ago

You have a legal right for her not to be in the room, regards of you being a minor, her paying for the visit, you being on the health insurance.

Be clear with her and tell the office that you would prefer not to not be in the room. If she doesn't leave after you've asked her to she's breaking the law.

[–]Zombie_Feeder 14 points15 points ago

That's when you say ”Yeah, doc. You should have seen this girl last night, it was like riding a bull. I mean she was fucking crazy with those anal beads and she never stopped with that whip”.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

OP is a girl. This would be rather extreme girl-on-girl.

[–]strawcat 6 points7 points ago

And that is exactly how my parents found out that I was no longer a virgin.

[–]papsBSaf 25 points26 points ago

Some people let their parents know about this stuff. Not that big of a deal

[–]viiScorp 39 points40 points ago

Ya, and some parents would rather force you to have no time with your SO in preference of your relationship breaking up over safe sex. Not all parents are reasonable.

[–]Asks_Politely 16 points17 points ago

But the ones that don't have a legitimate reason not to, so they will not be honest.

[–]Devils_Gambino 6 points7 points ago

If she's insisting on being in the room she probably isn't very reasonable

[–]Asks_Politely 2 points3 points ago

That's what I meant. I was saying if the kid actually cares whether their parent knows or not probably has unreasonable parents.

[–]Deminix19 5 points6 points ago

The doctor didn't allow my mom to go in with me. She knew that if she was there we'd probably lie about stuff like that. Instead she went in this different room where after they sat down and had a meeting regarding my physical.

[–]squirrelrabies18 5 points6 points ago

My mom still goes in with me and I'm days away from turning 18, not only does she go in but she also takes both of my sisters and they're all crammed in a little corner or standing up because there isn't room for them to be in the little room.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

You need to stop that. She is over-involved in your life and she needs to back off.

[–]Collin39517 8 points9 points ago

Why is your mother in the doctors' office with you? Mine stopped going in with me at 13.

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 5 points6 points ago

Not allowed to drive

[–]Collin39517 7 points8 points ago

She can wait in the waiting room then..

[–]JessicaStar16[S,!] 13 points14 points ago

Asked, she said no. She is "exercising her parental rights"

[–]Collin39517 16 points17 points ago

She seems really overbearing then. Don't know what to tell you. Sorry. The doctor will probably kick her out at some point.

[–]secondaccountforme 1 point2 points ago

Say you're "exercising your human rights".

[–]dynizard16 2 points3 points ago

Like this: "No, doctor.... sigh... No."

[–]LoggieOLD 2 points3 points ago

So is she in there when the doctor is inspecting your genitals? You could just answer the question truthfully like a baws and when she protests, tell her you asked her to leave.

[–]HanaNotBanana17 0 points1 point ago

I've been with my boyfriend for four years and my mom buys my birth control. It's not exactly a secret

[–]spandexgod 1 point2 points ago

why dont you see the doctor with out a parent with you?

[–]cccarrrlyyy 1 point2 points ago

Why would you have your mother with at the doctor if you're sexually active?!

[–]nunsrevil18 1 point2 points ago

Are they not supposed to be in there though? The doctor asked my mom to go outside so she could ask me that.

[–]Bixbyc 1 point2 points ago

Its illegal to insist on going with you at your age

[–]Iammyselfnow 1 point2 points ago

I'm gay.. this question will take on a whole new level of awkward when I start having sex...

[–]blackwidowk75815 2 points3 points ago

Me and my hand are.

[–]lolagabriella18 0 points1 point ago

So I guess I'm the only one who talks openly with their mother and has for years?

[–]yoho13916 5 points6 points ago

Not everyone's parents are understanding. Mine are, but my girlfriend's probably wouldn't let us see each other again if they knew.

[–]lolagabriella18 0 points1 point ago

Fair enough

[–]johnconnor810017 0 points1 point ago

That and the do you smoke or drink must be awk in front of mommy

[–]Frodosaurus18 0 points1 point ago

My friend outed she wasn't a virgin when she was in this situation XD

[–]xfreshxcrispyx 0 points1 point ago

Or "Do you have a history of drug or alcohol use?"

[–]ProditorReseph 0 points1 point ago

It's easy for me to answer, because the answer is always no :/

[–]Sour_tart 0 points1 point ago

Lol maybe I'm just a freak but I'd want to freak my mom out and say I had a pregnancy / aids scare just a few weeks ago

[–]Domthecreator1417 0 points1 point ago

Had to tell my parents at 14..terrible dinner conversation..

[–]ECoco15 -1 points0 points ago

The answer is still no.

[–]ShocKzandAwE -1 points0 points ago

I'm pretty sure it wouldn't matter if YOU answered it truthfully.

[–]DanielBrickHead -1 points0 points ago

I thought you meant: Do you have sex while your mother is in the room? I was like lol what

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

Does she hold you dick when you piss too?