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1564
1565

From a friend (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Geniusorus

all 106 comments
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[–]SirSmithThe1st 284 points285 points ago

Get a man some pussy and he fucks for a day. Teach a man to get some pussy, and he fucks for a lifetime. -Jesus

[–]Harold_Grundelson 90 points91 points ago

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also...and let a playa hit that fat ass. - Jesus

[–]tigolbittiez 33 points34 points ago

How much that booty way tho? - Jesus

[–]ISpilledMyMilk 35 points36 points ago

The ass was fat. -Jesus

[–]SirSmithThe1st 31 points32 points ago

She got a big booty so I call her big booty. -Jesus

[–]furyasd 18 points19 points ago

DAYUMN! - Jesus

[–]Radzell 12 points13 points ago

2Lives - Jesus

[–]UnknownReddit007 9 points10 points ago

YOLT

[–]KillAllLawyers 2 points3 points ago

It's not coincidence the car/Jesus symbol is a fish.

[–]Carlos_Sagan 1 point2 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/th7X0.jpg

[–]Knightbre 9 points10 points ago

WWJF-Who Would Jesus Fuck?

[–]kid-sister 21 points22 points ago

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that he may get some sweet, sweet puss. - John 3:16

[–]Reformed_Asshole 5 points6 points ago

John makes all the ladies wet.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 4 points5 points ago

Eating those locusts and honey and weird shit is hot.

[–]Godtiermasturbator -1 points0 points ago

My paleo brings all the girls to the yard

[–]fatefulwitness 0 points1 point ago

John's a common name

[–]Rubix22 3 points4 points ago

Jesus came.

John 11:35

[–]ANAL_QUEEN -1 points0 points ago

-Pussy Talkin' Jesus.

[–]nothingpersnal 0 points1 point ago

Amen.

[–]TayloRageAgainst 0 points1 point ago

Get a man some pussy and he'll get pleasure for a day. Teach him to use his hand and he'll get pleasure for a lifetime. - Possibly also Jesus

[–]PurdueJohn -1 points0 points ago

I'm going to hell for laughing so hard at this (even if it's a repost).

[–]Goochzuntite 19 points20 points ago

Jesus would be the best wingman because he has no problems getting nailed

[–]little_miss_derpette 5 points6 points ago

"Let me offer you the chance to have the body of Christ in your mouth."

[–]Goochzuntite 1 point2 points ago

Amen

[–]CircumcisedSpine 0 points1 point ago

That and the water into wine trick. Bitches love water turned into wine.

[–]Blame_The_Green 73 points74 points ago

Is your "friend" a Redditor?

title comnts points age /r/
Possibly the Best Wingman Ever 18coms 1400pts 15dys pics
Jesus is my co-pilot 0coms 0pts 15dys funny
And on the 7th day, God said "let all men get laid" 4coms 198pts 23dys funny
Awesome sticker! 0coms 41pts 25dys funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Caesar419 81 points82 points ago

I don't know whether to be excited that a picture I took is spreading like wildfire or pissed that everyone got more karma from it than I did.

[–]Doublestack2376 7 points8 points ago

Confirmed that the oldest post was yours. You got my upvote sir, maybe think about working on your titles though :P

[–]Caesar419 5 points6 points ago

Yeah... You wouldn't think I've been on Reddit a year.

[–]KillAllLawyers 2 points3 points ago

Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.

[–]YouPickMyName 1 point2 points ago

I can give you one comment karma... better?

[–]cubiclejockey 1 point2 points ago

Ceasar needs some lovin'

[–]zuperman219 6 points7 points ago

I hadn't seen it yet. Thank goodness he reposted it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]MeloJelo 6 points7 points ago

technically, complaining about reposts does not add anything to the discussion and can be considered irrelevant unless the post is heinously reposted.

What does complaining about people who complain about reposts add to the discussion?

[–]zuperman219 0 points1 point ago

What does complaining about people who complain about reposts add to the discussion?

What does complaining about people who complain about people who complain about reposts add to the discussion?

[–]marlo_smefner 0 points1 point ago

well fucking played

[–]djmk671 1 point2 points ago

His friend probably got the pic from the Internet then sent it to OP.

[–]betweenthebars24 0 points1 point ago

These repost stats show that the majority of the people browsing r/funny new are idiots.

[–]fentonfenton 14 points15 points ago

Finally a religion I can get behind.

[–]RETARD96 3 points4 points ago

i get it

[–]Tranger 17 points18 points ago

Im totallly okay with this repost
Im not totally okay with the title claim.

[–]diggemigre 15 points16 points ago

Your tiny words amuse me.

[–]Boomanchu 4 points5 points ago

HA! I AM THE ULTIMATE! I AM THE BOLDLY ITALICIZED ALL CAPS SENTENCE! KNEEL BEFORE MY MASSIVE GIRTH!

[–]zosoyoung 1 point2 points ago

HAH!

(seizure warning)

[–]Boomanchu 1 point2 points ago

SPEAK UP ZOSOYOUNG!

I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU.

[–]brotherbond -1 points0 points ago

You're cruisin' too.

[–]guyguy23 9 points10 points ago

I call the internet my friend as well.

[–]invaderkristin 23 points24 points ago

Your friend got it from here yesterday.

[–]turbie 10 points11 points ago

And two weeks ago

[–]critercat 8 points9 points ago

And a month ago.

[–]Irrelevant-Bullshit -5 points-4 points ago

EvERybodayYY <3 ME Ah'MMM $O FLy

nigGAZZ THrO Daa DeUceSSS EveRyTime AH RidE By

I NaHH ya WonDuh WHayy, AH'MMM $ooo COol

don't Askk Mee jus DOO WUtt Cha Do

MEet me Ynn Daaa TrAP It'$ Goin' DoWN

mEet ME YN Daaa malll It'$ gOin' DoWn

meet Me YN DA CLuB it'$$ gOIN''' Down

AnayY WERe YAA MeeTT Me GuaRaNTeed 222 GoE DoWn

[–]Advantageous 1 point2 points ago

Tha fuck is this?

[–]Irrelevant-Bullshit 1 point2 points ago

The Burdizzo is a castration device which employs a large clamp designed to break the blood vessels leading into the testicles. Once the blood supply to the testicles is lost, testicular necrosis occurs, and the testicles shrink, soften, and eventually deterioriate completely. Burdizzos have also been used by some human males as a means of self-castration, often by those seeking a remedy for a high sex drive, or those who, for religious or personal reasons, seek to become eunuchs. The burdizzo has also been used by some transsexual women and other male-to-female transgender persons, as an alternative to the surgical procedure known as an orchidectomy. Because an incision is not required, castration by burdizzo is usually bloodless and, according to some research, has a lower risk of infection, compared with traditional methods.

[–]cwayne1989 0 points1 point ago

It's Irrelevant-Bullshit.

[–]yatima2975 1 point2 points ago

I'm not entirely sure (top code breakers are still working on it!) but I'm guessing, based on their initial results, that this might be irrelevant bullshit.

[–]WhatsFonzieLike 4 points5 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/QE5dM.jpg?1

[–]Squalor- 1 point2 points ago

I hear Jesus is a total cockblock.

[–]PeanutNore 0 points1 point ago

Pontiac? Is that Joe Biden's Trans Am?

[–]jdubbs871 2 points3 points ago

can i get an AMEN?!

[–]Chilok 0 points1 point ago

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!!!!!!

[–]Raplena14 0 points1 point ago

This is beautiful

[–]upvote_cuz_ninja 0 points1 point ago

Haha, its funny because circlejerk. s/

[–]zissous4 0 points1 point ago

8/10 would buy one

[–]CandidCosmos 0 points1 point ago

Classic!

[–]Scooternuts 0 points1 point ago

Jesus took the wheel, the third one.

[–]Aldur 1 point2 points ago

I need a stack of these and a church parking lot.

[–]little_miss_derpette 0 points1 point ago

Can you imagine? I'm available to assist. Time and place-- ill be there.

[–]greybyte 0 points1 point ago

Put them in a short box that covers the second line and see how many people just take one and don't read it right away.

[–]SHECKSH 0 points1 point ago

Repost to the rescue!

[–]osxander 0 points1 point ago

from the internet

[–]ByronsReward 0 points1 point ago

Real Jesus Loves Men

[–]djblubbernuggets 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for not posting this in r/WTF

[–]khartaras -1 points0 points ago

In this context, pussy = stray cats to take in, mind you.

[–]f40ph125 0 points1 point ago

I need that sticker.

[–]LuisReis27 0 points1 point ago

When I saw "Jesus is my co-pilot" I thought "oh no another stupid atheist post. But then. LOL.

[–]Treehugger17 0 points1 point ago

This is one of those posts where whether you post it in /r/WTF or /r/funny says something about you.

[–]wesleyt89 0 points1 point ago

Fuck me running that is beyond amazing.

I want NEED that sticker.

[–]righty 0 points1 point ago

Is that a Fiero?

[–]sudden_rap 1 point2 points ago

Crusin' for pussy with my boy ridin' shotgun / Listening to Debussy as that muthafucka's not young / Two thousand year old smooth talker as my wingman / If any muthafucka can get laid tonight then I can / Scoring dirty pussy can lead to a nasty death / That ain't a problem when I got my boy from Nazareth

[–]aquanox314 0 points1 point ago

I run a sticker business on Ebay. I can make this.

http://stores.ebay.com/Bumper-Stickers-Ink/

Pick one and ask for this little quip, i'll print it for you

[–]mimiangie 0 points1 point ago

these guys are awesome!

[–]jackchange 1 point2 points ago

From a repost.*

[–]twiggy84 0 points1 point ago

classy christian is classy

[–]nympho_dora_tonks 0 points1 point ago

If I saw this on a guy's car, it would increase my level of attraction to him by 10%.

[–]tweak4ever 0 points1 point ago

Something tells me that Jesus wouldn't be a very good wingman.

[–]Gafahos 0 points1 point ago

If you are talking about Jesus, the supposed son of God, and not your local gardener, then I can confirm that such tales of extraordinary characteristics did not occur. There is an insufficient amount of evidence and severe lack of other historical texts citing such events took place. Therefore, we can easily dismiss Jesus as a mere con artist who is now dead and unable to help your weird friend get "pussy."

[–]jjspy 0 points1 point ago

repost

[–]Schmitty_werbon 0 points1 point ago

Apricots

[–]CircumcisedSpine 0 points1 point ago

Jesus and I, we're gonna hotbox this car, roll through the In-n-Out, and then go find some loose women. You in, Buddha?

[–]abhobo 1 point2 points ago

Didn't see that coming.

[–]thejorobin -1 points0 points ago

Truth is, I'd definitely fuck Jesus.

[–]Zimaben 1 point2 points ago

There was a site way back in the day where you could make your own bumper sticker. I trolled with - "Jesus is my Co-Pilot: 'Cause I only Let White People Drive!"

Banned and they didn't send it :(

[–]BDandC -2 points-1 points ago

This guy was riding shotgun

[–]100thRepostAward 0 points1 point ago

Dear Geniusorus:

Unfortunately, you are only the 5th person to repost this image, so we cannot grant you the 100th Repost Award at this time.

Please continue to repost and help make reddit terrible. Your time will come!

Warm Regards,

Reposting Award Review Board

[–]ketseki 0 points1 point ago

I didn't see the picture until now, so it's not all bad. His title, however...

[–]stanfan114 0 points1 point ago

Why not just get a sticker that reads "Key my car"?

[–]another_old_fart -2 points-1 points ago

Jesus might be a good copilot but Satan is a better wingman!

[–]That_Guys_Gross 0 points1 point ago

I like the "friend sent me this" disclaimer of repost liability

[–]samwardle -2 points-1 points ago

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lve8x5nEGp1qlgho2o1_500.gif

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