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top 200 commentsshow all 476

[–]the_don_quixote 217 points218 points ago

Enjoy yourself tonight man! i will be doing this same! Broke up with mine a week ago because she has feelings for another guy all of a sudden after being with her for 4.5 years.

just think of it this way, you have more money now, cuz you dont have to blow it on her for the holidays!

[–]x420Y0L0SWAG666[S] 157 points158 points ago

Yeah we were together four years. Oh, well. Here's to new beginnings!

[–]raging_asshole 307 points308 points ago

My advice:

Hit the ATM for like $60, and take that cash and your ID with you. Leave all your other cash and ATM card at home.

Being broken-hearted AND broke just sucks, dude.

[–]Dresdain 73 points74 points ago

This is lovely advice broasma

[–]hot_skillet 55 points56 points ago

What is "broasma"? Asthma with a popped collar and a backwards hat?

Ha! Haha!

[–]engals 49 points50 points ago

I love how you made yourself laugh.

[–]SocialCharade 18 points19 points ago

Nice.

[–]killiangray 9 points10 points ago

Did you just "nice" yourself?

[–]SocialCharade 27 points28 points ago

no, haha!

nice.

[–]ctrlaltrockdel 7 points8 points ago

righteous

[–]Thelonesomemoo 16 points17 points ago

Brosama?

[–]chingyduster 13 points14 points ago

Like "Broseph Stalin".

[–]celphtitled 13 points14 points ago

And Bilbro Baggins...

[–]B1ade_Catcher 21 points22 points ago

and Broseidon, King of the Brocean

[–]AJMcintosh 3 points4 points ago

That is what I kept reading. I didn't notice until someone said something. Thank you Brosama-sai

[–]LOV2XLR8 11 points12 points ago

Fuck, I know that feel bro. Last year I was 1.) Broken Hearted 2.) Broke (living paycheck to paycheck) and then finally 3.) Jobless. All in the span of a few weeks.

[–]DiscordianStooge 3 points4 points ago

It burns being broke and it hurts to be heartbroken but always being both must be a drag.

[–]antcruz 6 points7 points ago

but..but...that'll only buy him like 7 beers.

[–]faustelo 5 points6 points ago

Also leave your phone so you don't drunk text her! Or have a friend hold it idk

[–]chaoticdoghouse 3 points4 points ago

that awkward moment when Raging_asshole isnt actually a raging asshole.

[–]trefrog66 2 points3 points ago

But after the bar closes he won't have any money for the strip club.

[–]laser22 3 points4 points ago

Yeah I once spend a shit ton of money on trying to get an ex back (flowers and shit), along with drinking myself to sleep every night. 2 maxed out credit cards later and over 1 year later... im still paying them off.

[–]AJMcintosh 3 points4 points ago

get her back?

[–]jamin_brook 40 points41 points ago

Just saw this in another comment thread:

"If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you're at peace, you're living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

Also,

"MMM... Doughnuts"

-Homer


EDIT: This one is very important too

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.

-Cliff Clavin to Norm Peterson

[–]adrynochrome 2 points3 points ago

I wrote this on a friend's dry erase board the other day when he left the room: "a hand in the bush is worth two in the tush" -Bill Clinton Figured that might help too.

[–]the_don_quixote 9 points10 points ago

I hear that man! Cheers and be safe!

[–]FaultyWires 8 points9 points ago

6 years, 2 months ago. I have shot a lot of bullets and I have a pretty amazing beard going right now. It's wonderful.

[–]the_don_quixote 3 points4 points ago

you can never go wrong with a sweet beard, NEVER

[–]eadgbe11 8 points9 points ago

Three and a half for me, bros. Just yesterday because of essentially the same reasons. Was ready to wife her, too. Come to Pittsburgh and the first round is on me!

[–]soccerlegs 5 points6 points ago

i hear ya mine just also left after 4 years. Happened all the sudden boom gone. How they do this I dont know. Oh well if I see you tonight shots all night for both of us on me lol.

[–]adrynochrome 4 points5 points ago

My advice: don't let her see you down. Seriously.

[–]HellaYoloSwag 2 points3 points ago

YOLO Swag it out man...YOLO swag it out like no other...

[–]Snellington 6 points7 points ago

BRO, are we the same person? Because my girlfriend and I just broke up after 4.5 years and she has already moved on.

I can feel you, Don Quixote... I can feel you.

[–]MGAV89 4 points5 points ago

she moved on a while ago man, just waited for a smooth transition... sorry to hear that.

[–]Kai________ 6 points7 points ago

I did spent more money after I broke up with my ex...

[–]blingbin 12 points13 points ago

Hookers and Blow will do that

[–]ace9213 5 points6 points ago

They say 1 week of grieving for every 6 months you were together. And I can attest that after my relationship of 5 years ended, that it is completely true. Best of luck man. My advice: Keep yourself busy and chill with your friends as often as possible. Get outside a lot as well. Even if it means drinking a beer on your porch.

[–]jamin_brook 15 points16 points ago

"If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you're at peace, you're living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

[–]DiscordianStooge 12 points13 points ago

Lao Tzu didn't have any knowledge of nerochemicals or brain biology, though.

[–]mcmc16 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure my girlfriend likes another guy too. been together 2 years. she talkes to him on facebook chat from like 10-1pm a few nights a week i noticed, and although she says she isn't flirting i know she is.

plus she met this guy a week ago. 2 weeks ago, she admitted to me that i might not be "the one..." and we've (i've) been working hard to show her that I am...

[–]rocaterra 30 points31 points ago

I see no one has yet cited it. Upvote for little rascals reference! From the episode "Fly my kite" I believe.

[–]DudeMan18 4 points5 points ago

I had this episode on a vhs tape when I was a kid. The mean business man was trying to kick spanky's grandmother out of her house or something? All I really remember is it came down to some savings bonds that she needed but the kids had used them for the kite

[–]Canard427 50 points51 points ago

The money you'll save on toilet paper alone will justify your bar tab.

[–]roterghost 22 points23 points ago

Not necessarily. He'll probably be masturbating a lot more now.

[–]justsomemechanic 20 points21 points ago

Dear 420YOLOSWAG666,

BROHUGYOLOSWAGALLNIGHT6969BROFISTBUMP

Regards,

RedditBro.

[–]rreilly1012 115 points116 points ago

Boyfriend broke up with me last week... This will also be me tonight since last weekend I did the cry in bed thing... now I wanna do the wasted thing.

[–]clemay 67 points68 points ago

Have you mehhhhhhhhht x420Y0L0SWAG666?

[–]sexypanda915 13 points14 points ago

I was here first! Oh fuck it. Pass whatever substance will make me the most fucked up in the least amount of time.

[–]x420Y0L0SWAG666[S] 142 points143 points ago

How u doin'?

[–]rreilly1012 107 points108 points ago

If you're in the Atlanta area tonight, we should make out.

[–]x420Y0L0SWAG666[S] 92 points93 points ago

Actually down in Savannah, lol.

[–]rreilly1012 130 points131 points ago

Do-able

[–]mogball 109 points110 points ago

Do it for reddit you guys. They need a new couple to swoon over for 8-12 hours!

[–]grape_juice_nigz 12 points13 points ago

This could be just like that math couple in the 8 am class, whatever became of them anyway?

[–]MsAnnThrope 14 points15 points ago

They met up for a coffee or something and took a picture for us. I think that was it.

[–]rub3s 9 points10 points ago

no babies?!

[–]diomedes03 46 points47 points ago

Ok, this has to happen now. Do we need to set up a Kickstarter or something? Can we have someone film the whole night? Will both of you be bringing your cats with you?!

Tell us how to make this happen!

[–]Teddyknockout 20 points21 points ago

OP YOU GO AND MAKEOUT WITH THIS ONE! Don't ever forget you are yoloswag!

[–]Bill_Clintons_Choad 13 points14 points ago

[–]clutchmasterflex 6 points7 points ago

upvoted for the username

[–]cyclicamp 5 points6 points ago

Your comment made me think twice about clicking his link.

[–]mattzm 4 points5 points ago

That's what she said.

Sorry, had to be done.

I'm 3 years single last September. You guys go out and have fun. There is still hope for you.

[–]xrelaht 2 points3 points ago

4 hours? I've gone farther than that for a booty call.

[–]Slowhand09 24 points25 points ago

[–]timothytandem 18 points19 points ago

Funny thing is I'm riding up from Savannah to Atlanta today, LETS GO REDDIT BRO

[–]rapscal_2002 11 points12 points ago

It's time for the official Reddit Car Pool of Love®

[–]blackhawk465 11 points12 points ago

Was it the 420, yolo, swag, or 666 that made you fall for him?

[–]yasserkhan1 4 points5 points ago

atlanta chicks are so easy.

[–]SkoomaLover 3 points4 points ago

I am?

[–]abnormalsyndrome 11 points12 points ago

Now kiss

[–]thatoneagain 14 points15 points ago

Got broken up with on Tuesday. Now my (once i guess) best friend won't answer my texts or IMs or anything. :< Haven't gone out and gotten plastered yet, but soon... soon...

[–]IAmTheWalkingDead 8 points9 points ago

I feel for you. I'm kind of going through the same thing. Sometimes space is needed though. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

[–]kkluvsxbox 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, I've never truly felt as bummed as I have the past 2 weeks. I'm a young man at 23, and I know that this isn't the end, but quite possibly the beginning. I didn't even date my girlfriend for a year, I can't imagine how much that sucks for those with multiple years.

Mine was completely unexpected. After hanging out and spending a lot of time together, for that to stop dead in it's tracks is pretty tough to deal with. We never really had a fight so it was confusing for her to want to stop so quickly. She seemed to feel she was not ready for a long term relationship. We sat and talked it over, but man... it's tough. No point in wasting my time I suppose, but she was a really cool chick.

I'm not a fan of getting plastered over situations like this, but have a beer for me dude.

[–]CatalystParadox 61 points62 points ago

I actually (oddly) haven't much wanted to drink anything since my recent heartbreak.

... I just want to talk to her again...

[–]Reporting_the_facts 81 points82 points ago

holds your nose and pours shot down your throat ShhShhShhShh

[–]wrankin1101 63 points64 points ago

[–]rapscal_2002 13 points14 points ago

Is this the gorilla on the Gorilla Puffs box?

Edit: After about 10 seconds of review. Yes, yes it is.

Edit: Also, it's called gorilla munch

[–]CatalystParadox 5 points6 points ago

Hah! I have an awesome friend who would normally do this, but he's sick as a dog, so I'm shit outta luck. Thanks pal.

[–]IAmTheWalkingDead 15 points16 points ago

I know how that goes. I'm actually afraid to start drinking because I might not stop.

[–]CatalystParadox 6 points7 points ago

Totally me, normally. But the last few days even though I have had a drink here and there I'm just like "meh". No interest in anything that I enjoy really. :(

[–]mungd 11 points12 points ago

I would hit the gym... If you can allow yourself to think, "FUCK YOU, I'm not falling into that pattern of alcohol, I'm going to better myself just to spite you" you may actually be able to be quite productive.

Later that might turn from the aforementioned thought process to, "I don't even need to do this with any consideration of her; this is for me, and I'm focused on me."

That works to relieve pain/frustration at the same time as you are improving your odds with the rest of the dating pool... Classic win/win.

[–]bigswisshandrapist 2 points3 points ago

Totally doing this already. Best advice imo.

[–]xrelaht 1 point2 points ago

This works so well. I got in such incredibly shape after my last two major breakups. Probably wouldn't have finished my dissertation otherwise.

[–]maharba 14 points15 points ago

I preferred the stay in with bottles of cheep booze method. That way I didn't have to wear pants. Relevant.

[–]notsopro 11 points12 points ago

Just got dumped after 6 years. She has feelings for another guy. I wish i could just get smashed!

[–]LandoMcFly 11 points12 points ago

Is it something about this time of year? Seems like everyone including myself got dumped recently.

[–]naullo 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, same here, after 1.5 years when everything seemed perfect in my relationship. She just vanished one day after one argument.

It just hurts so bad.

[–]zeppelindude93 8 points9 points ago

There's a joke about a drunk baby hiding somewhere.

[–]crazynihee 6 points7 points ago

I fucking feel you dude. 4 years down the drain :(

[–]soccerlegs 2 points3 points ago

yep we cant get those bacck :(

[–]le0dude20 7 points8 points ago

Yes, had that happen to me 6 months ago, I decided to start wasting my money on drinks, and all to drown the sorrow, but after 3 weeks of doing so I realized Frak that man! Why should she have so much power over me. We are men and we should never make any excuses for what we want. I've always wanted to buy A Dodge Challenger, with her around, I could never afford one. Saved up the money, and now I've got a brand new Dodge Challenger Raylene. I've been doing better at work, got a promotion because I'm more focused at work now. Basically I threw myself into it, to try to get over her. But hey it worked out for the best.

For you my friend, don't lose in this break up! Go out, drink, eat the foods she wouldn't let you(For me it was Macadamia nuts, she didn't like the smell) During the weekend, play the games you were not allowed to while she was around! Masterbate to other woman! Masterbate to porn, (my ex did not want me watching any porn, she would always check my hard drive, and search history, thanks incognito!). Eat a fucking Steak BRO! Go to Texas De Brazil! ALL YOU CAN EAT STEAK. Take a few friends, and feel manly as you eat all the steak you can handle! Smoke a damn Cigar, try to remember the thing she hated the most in the world, and do that DAMN THING! Have fun, put a smile on your face, go out, don't just sleep with the first girl you see, HELL do what comes naturally man! I've been there, 6 months ago, and Now i'm all good!

TL;DR 1. Drink 2. Buy a car 3.Do the things your ex didn't let you 4. Eat steaks! 5. Have fun!

[–]pornographagist 12 points13 points ago

I got dumped after 2 years last week and i felt like shit so I can't even imagine how you're feeling man...

[–]sexypanda915 7 points8 points ago

I feel your pain sir. tips hat

[–]frothy_cunt 9 points10 points ago

No, tip the bartender

[–]ApophiSlaughter 6 points7 points ago

Another with a 4.5 year ex. Drink to your hearts content, your wallets capacity and your stomachs ability. Have a good time!

[–]thewillis 10 points11 points ago

Seriously, how are all of us just breaking up with SOs after 4.5 years?

[–]MikeG_ 5 points6 points ago

You can only truly understand if you have been in a relationship for 4.5 years. I personally think it is a mistake to marry someone before the 3 year mark.

[–]paul_miner 3 points4 points ago

I hadn't really given it much thought until you said that, but then I did the math... 4.5 years ago was summer of 2008, about the time my divorce was finalized. Weird.

OTOH, doing much better now :)

[–]postblitz 3 points4 points ago

inexperience. with the knowledge gained from this breakup any relationship that'll outlast a year will be interesting.. outlast 2 and its marriage material. another 4.5 = lifetime.

experience expedites things like breakups and evaluating your partner. like an exponential curve the more you increase your knowledge on the matter the faster you process things and higher the chances of finding one to last forever.

[–]soccerlegs 2 points3 points ago

no idea 2008 seems like a long time ago here is to new beginnings i guess

[–]triobot 35 points36 points ago

Guy walks in to a bar, heads towards a window and starts throwing money outside said window.

Bartender asks him "Why you throwing money outside?"

Guy replies "I broke up with my girlfriend on Wednesday and I posted this gif on Reddit showing this kid throwing money outside the window. Thought I'd be living the high life""

[–]abnormalsyndrome 3 points4 points ago

At least alcohol never complains. Cheers!

[–]King-Ghost 5 points6 points ago

many feels. happened to me monday. that was me last night, will be tonight and tomorrow as well. gonna blow all the money i had saved for the holidays on booze.

[–]senorroboto 6 points7 points ago

From the Our Gang episode Fly My Kite. I think 5 Mil in savings bonds might be overdoing your pain, though.

[–]Poster_Nutbag12 3 points4 points ago

Sorry man!! You might want to save some of that cheddar though, dating gets expensive fast. Broke up with my girl of 8 years and had a rude awakening.

[–]mrgreenjeans9 5 points6 points ago

happened to me a while ago too...didn't have enough money for the bar tho. here's to sitting at home drinking alone!

[–]POWERGULL 4 points5 points ago

With the way things are going with my girlfriend today, I might be with you tonight as well. Heres to a night we shan't remember!

[–]clifwith1f 5 points6 points ago

That's going to be me tonight as well, and I didn't even have a breakup!

[–]not-a-charizard 4 points5 points ago

[–]Teton_POW 13 points14 points ago

Gym... Good Food...Meet people. The only thing feeling sorry for yourself does is prolongs the actual problem. Make sure you are happy where you are at in life... and make the necessary changes to improve yourself.

[–]drugs_r_my_food 4 points5 points ago

gym was the only thing that kept me afloat...

[–]Chispy 2 points3 points ago

Your name says otherwise.

[–]Dirtylicious 3 points4 points ago

All well and good. But you still have to give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship

[–]AJMcintosh 10 points11 points ago

GF broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately I don't have lots of cash to be spending. Been staying inside a lot. Have fun at the bar. get some happy-fun-sexy-make-you-forget-about-that-other-girl-time.

[–]eolson3 11 points12 points ago

Put $15 down on a bottle of Virginia Gentlemen. We will be temporal parallel drinking buddies. Do you want Norm or Cliff?

[–]adrynochrome 6 points7 points ago

My boyfriend broke up with me Monday. This will be me at the bar tonight: http://www.mouthlondon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/woman-using-laptop-431x300.jpg Because I do the bar's website... .... ......

[–]ThHeretic 3 points4 points ago

[–]jhutchi2 3 points4 points ago

Upvote for Little Rascals. I used to watch those VHS at my grandma's house every day

[–]immascatman4242 3 points4 points ago

I'll just start my life over with blackjack and hookers!

[–]Cashrunner 2 points3 points ago

Probably broke up with you because of your username

[–]randomrollergirl 3 points4 points ago

Little Spanky!!! <3

[–]Something-Unique 3 points4 points ago

You should spend that money on a monocle, bitches love monocles.

[–]rasmusca 5 points6 points ago

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"

-Andrew Jackson

[–]rasputine 2 points3 points ago

-Andrew OLD HICKORY Jackson

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

So you're going bug hunting this afternoon? Sweet.

[–]rankersandrotters 2 points3 points ago

me and my girlfriend broke up thursday. I'm definitely going to be in the same boat tonight

[–]Royaltoolbox 0 points1 point ago

I feel you bro. Got my heart broken on Monday. Just been waiting to go and drink my sorrows away this weekend

[–]JangSaverem 0 points1 point ago

Remember. You wouldnt have even had that money if she was still with you. Ah ha now we in profit land.

[–]severedfinger 0 points1 point ago

That'll just make it worse, trust me.

[–]thejorobin 2 points3 points ago

Will you be my boyfriend? You can throw my money instead of yours.

[–]Ozymandias12 2 points3 points ago

How the fuck did I just wander into /r/breakups?

[–]GunBeaver 2 points3 points ago

Hope you are okay man.

[–]GrooGrux 2 points3 points ago

On my way, I will bring party hats and noise makers!

[–]dpowers1221 2 points3 points ago

Girlfriend left me last night, or today, three in the morning, whatever you want to call it. Stay positive mate, I'm right there with you.

[–]dclowd9901 0 points1 point ago

Making it rain like that? You'll have a new one on your arm in no time.

[–]yopyop3000 2 points3 points ago

oh spanky

[–]FatesReverend 0 points1 point ago

Hope you get a bar skank.

I mean that in a good way.

[–]AbortedOne 2 points3 points ago

Everyone is so Brahsome when we are on Reddit. But I guarantee if we were at the bar and saw him we wouldn't bother asking him whats wrong.

[–]CoyoteStark 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Tittysprinkles22 5 points6 points ago

That's probably a bad idea

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AFP520 2 points3 points ago

Fuck that bitch. Hitup gonewildplus or gonewildcurvy or go hogging

[–]EDIEDMX 2 points3 points ago

How about this - instead of going out and doing something that does you really no good, take the opposite approach and do something to better your life. Use the money that you would spend at the bar on something that is better for you or something really fun...that may actually lead to meeting someone new and/or better. I mean, why just be a sulking drunk at the local bar? Is this the attitude and outlook on life that led your GF to break up with you? If so, put a stop to that right now!! Ya now...I never understood why the normal response for us when things go wrong in our lives is to abuse ourselves. Something goes wrong and we drink and/or eat a gallon of ice cream. Why is that? We should swing it around 180 and do something really good for ourselves when something goes wrong. That's the best way to recover. Besides, I've always felt that when someone else make you mad or depressed, that puts them in control of your life. Is that what you want? You want your ex-girlfriend to continue to control your decisions...made worse yet by doing something that does you no good? Step back and find something to do that's really good for you and just you. Something that perhaps she always kept you from doing. This is the time to be free!!!

[–]blingx 50 points51 points ago

oh shut up

[–]theRainChicken 8 points9 points ago

What if OP really enjoys going to bars and that's the thing she prevented him from doing?

[–]erjohnson1 10 points11 points ago

That's not how it works though. You really can't help it. You just feel like complete shit and you want to do something that instantly makes you feel better. Maybe you're better than me and can do this, but I can't.

[–]sims5487 4 points5 points ago

That's for next week. TONIGHT IS FOR DRINKING

[–]krabZero 2 points3 points ago

I always get drunk when bad things happen to me! It solves all my problems and always help me become better off in the end!

0____-

[–]M0b1u5 1 point2 points ago

Protip: A fool and his money are soon parted.

[–]callmebio 1 point2 points ago

Sorry to here sir, hope your week improves. Bring some friends along to the bar, celebrate being single now!

[–]capt_slim 1 point2 points ago

I will be with you in spirit my friend doing the same thing in Dallas.

[–]DrCoconutPHD 1 point2 points ago

Clearly you are painting this with the wrong brush... This my friend is all you will need http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhMRXjGn0V0

[–]hizzle30 1 point2 points ago

BEST meme ever. seriously.

[–]Crossbowshootr 1 point2 points ago

[FTFY] Me at Gamestop.

[–]athifox 1 point2 points ago

If you see another guy doing the same thing tonight... well that's me. GF did the same to me last week.

[–]gehacktes 1 point2 points ago

I'm in. Got dumped. Got drunk.

[–]vladtaltos 1 point2 points ago

Well, since you're going to throw it all away, which bar are you going to (we'll all show up)?

[–]mcracks 1 point2 points ago

Cheers!

[–]throw-me 1 point2 points ago

I feel your pain brother, my ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago, so still sucks lots for me, but i've been having a good time without her, so... cheers!

[–]Companion_Cuby 1 point2 points ago

Your name... Déjà vu...

[–]backoffbro 1 point2 points ago

My dog died this morning. I will be your reflection.

[–]lendorav 1 point2 points ago

Congrats

[–]Furiousg3orge 1 point2 points ago

That sucks man. If you are anywhere around Enid, Oklahoma I'll get you drunk.

[–]matthewmendoza 1 point2 points ago

Fuck her! Have a good time.

[–]rrichardjames 2 points3 points ago

The longer I watch it, the worse the break up was!

[–]HIFW_GIFs_React_ 1 point2 points ago

[–]osteroster 1 point2 points ago

So you're going to pull a Robert Blake on her?

[–]TechnoViking94 1 point2 points ago

one of us...

[–]Pravus_Obzen 1 point2 points ago

get a Taxi Cab, do it.

[–]Crook3d 1 point2 points ago

As a single guy, this is my normal Friday night. We should get some strippers and blow and have a good time.

[–]Random832 1 point2 points ago

Ctrl-F: (by post count and not counting OP) "Yoloswag" 2, Entire Username 2, "Username" 2, "reddit alias" 1. None for 420 or 666.

[–]AcePhoenix 1 point2 points ago

that's exactly how i am when it comes to weed

[–]throwingoverboard 1 point2 points ago

Was with my ex for 3.5. Moved to a new city, he proceeded to dump me to focus on his job.

I feel your pain bro.

[–]Nansai 1 point2 points ago

Girlfriend left me for another man this past week. I'm right here with you brother.

[–]yasserkhan1 1 point2 points ago

so ill tell you a little story that might pick you up, who knows. so i dated this whore for the better part of a year, made my life miserable. destroyed me inside and out, from cheating on me in my own house/bed, to physciallyu destroying my most prized possessions. obviously i got rid of her. anyway, so went out last night with my brother and a few friends, and basically spent the night at the bar juggling 3 girls one of which was an aspiring model who i made out in the corner with for about 20 minutes. i will be taking to a concert in a week and a 1/2. moral of the story: theres a shit ton of women out there waiting on you man.

[–]h2g2Ben 1 point2 points ago

"Hey there, what can I . . . " "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY."

[–]fuck_happy_the_cow 1 point2 points ago

stupid showoff baby. i could see throwing one or two wads of cash, but 35? come on...

[–]RzK 1 point2 points ago

You have the best name on Reddit

[–]RonaldMcDonaldsCum 1 point2 points ago

Titties in your face at a strip club

[–]KR1288 1 point2 points ago

Pff. You need an excuse to do that? Amateurs.

[–]Hoosier_Jones 1 point2 points ago

If you're in Indiana, a few round would be on me.

[–]Piraticalstyle 1 point2 points ago

You little rascal!

[–]SoupSandwhich 1 point2 points ago

OMG my boyfriend dumped me Wednesday! T'was a shitty day. Sorry for your loss.

[–]Bokthand 1 point2 points ago

Aren't you a little young to be drinking?

[–]QuantumDisruption 1 point2 points ago

All of my feels. Just went through a breakup a couple days ago. I'll make sure to raise a glass to x420YOLOSWAG666 tonight!

[–]rainboupanda 1 point2 points ago

not funny, just sad...