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1733
1734

How I feel when I tell myself I need to eat healthier (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by PoisonIvee

all 142 comments
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[–]swiftwidget 131 points132 points ago

I didn't know Spiderman spoke ice cream...

[–]LazerExplosion2 63 points64 points ago

He doesn't brag about it, with great linguistic power comes great responsibility.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]wurdofmouth 16 points17 points ago

God damn it, I read your username just as I clicked. You win this time, butthole...

[–]DaTigerMan 6 points7 points ago

What did he say?

[–]chasefooo 20 points21 points ago

Oh he was being quite anal

[–]wurdofmouth 15 points16 points ago

It was a picture of his butthole. The fabled butthole bandit struck again. Looks like he got banned/deleted pretty quickly though.

[–]TheLeMoNjUiCe191 5 points6 points ago

and somehow he was upvoted by 3 people

[–]chunkybananas 4 points5 points ago

People like consistency.

[–]faggotmoose 3 points4 points ago

HOW THE FUCK DO THEY KNOW HIS CONSISTENCY?

[–]chunkybananas 1 point2 points ago

Some people get to enjoy the show more than once.. Those kinds of memories are the ones that stick.

Plus no one catches his username first.

[–]cTrillz 21 points22 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/LSg4o.png

[–]hamsterdam83 1 point2 points ago

He should know by now that ice cream will say anything to get out of being eaten.

[–]JasonEay 31 points32 points ago

Oh snack, you so silly!

[–]Evan5050 13 points14 points ago

Jake Gyllenhaal and Andrew Garfield should make a movie called "Food Whisperers".

[–]Chris153 2 points3 points ago

Oh Oil
.
... knowyourmeme

[–]Liesser 68 points69 points ago

I can't tell if this is a paparazzi photo of a famous person, or just a photo someone took of a dude with shockingly good hair. Either one is possible.

[–]ShineeBep 63 points64 points ago

I do believe it's a paparazzi photo catching Andrew Garfield in the most flattering scene possible.

[–]Lilyo 65 points66 points ago

Andrew Garfield has the best hair ever, that good looking son of a bitch. No homo.

E: Some homo

[–]ShineeBep 20 points21 points ago

It's alright. Andrew Garfield is the one area where reversal of sexual orientation is expected temporarily.

[–]ApeofBass 14 points15 points ago

I too have felt this effect. I'm def not gay, but I somehow ended up on a gay adoration site dedicated to him... and didn't really wanna leave.

[–]ShineeBep 10 points11 points ago

There is no need to leave.
Embrace it.
It's perfectly normal.

[–]ApeofBass 7 points8 points ago

Could be though, that I am obsessed with Spider-Man (Thousands of Spider-Man comics, T-shirts, tattoos... you get the idea), and he is the first actor to properly portray Spider-Man. I might just be biased but I find he has the same effect on non Spidey-geeks....

[–]ShineeBep 3 points4 points ago

You don't need to explain yourself.
You're human.
It happens to us all, sweetie.

[–]StealthJetCastle 0 points1 point ago

This exists

[–]thespaceoddity 0 points1 point ago

As much homo as you want, my friend, because it is ANDREW GARFIELD.

[–]OldTimeGentleman 1 point2 points ago

I have to say I'm more of a Jon Hamm hair appreciator myself.

[–]NiltiacSif 8 points9 points ago

I wonder if he saw the paparazzi and decided on making a funny face at his ice cream, or was just wondering exactly how to start eating it.

[–]frkcool 25 points26 points ago

He has taken advantage of the paparazzi before

[–]ShineeBep 5 points6 points ago

I'm sure, being the incredibly deep and philosophical man Andrew is, he was truly sharing a heartfelt moment with his frozen dairy dessert.
It just happened to be forever immortalized on camera.

[–]Lilyo 22 points23 points ago

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq00naYpPB1qa9v88o1_500.jpg

[–]theupdown 5 points6 points ago

mm yeah, deep throat that smooth cone

[–]Dean_Peterson 4 points5 points ago

Oh god that's embarassing. A Howard the Duck t-shirt, really?

[–]CorneliusJack 1 point2 points ago

Duck Tits... WOooHooo

[–]RudyW 14 points15 points ago

Andrew Garfield is like a baby giraffe with the mane of a lion.

[–]MorbidRampager 3 points4 points ago

Does he really have that good of hair? Because my hair is just like that, seriously. Confidence booosttt? :D?

[–]Liesser 7 points8 points ago

Assuming your telling the truth on this Internet, and your name only reinforces sincerity, let me say this: I wanna fuck your hair.

[–]dyljm2 3 points4 points ago

Hey, my hair isn't as long and I have blue eyes instead of brown, but I look so much like Andrew Garfield that people at my last job called me Spiderman more often than my real name. I just need to grow out my hair now... Then I'll let you fuck my hair. It'll be like doppelganger porn. Or whatever the term is for that...

[–]thespaceoddity 2 points3 points ago

Threesome.

[–]CookPu 38 points39 points ago

So this reminds me of something very similar that happened to me last night. I'm driving home with the radio off (I turned it off while I was making a call and forgot to turn it back on afterwards) and my mind starts to wander. I ended up thinking about my health - I'm 24 years old, 250lbs and my wife is pregnant with our first child - and I decide that I'm going to start eating better and exercise. The problem though? I just bought two things of oreos from Publix the night before. Logically you can't start a diet when there's oreos in your house, so I ate a whole sleeve... from each...

TL;DR - Oreos.

[–]aurorium 13 points14 points ago

This is a common problem. It's rude to leave the Oreos sitting around without letting them fulfill their lifelong purpose of being eaten, so one must not start a diet with Oreos in the house.

[–]CookPu 7 points8 points ago

There's always next week... except that's Thanksgivings... you can't start a diet then. Hmm, and then there's Christmas. Next year, I'll start my diet next year!

[–]aurorium 4 points5 points ago

I'm going to buy Oreos on my way home from work now, thanks to you.

[–]CookPu 3 points4 points ago

Double stuffed are the same price so you need to get them.

[–]aurorium 4 points5 points ago

People buy regular ones?

[–]CookPu 3 points4 points ago

I assume only accidentally.

[–]phailsafe 1 point2 points ago

I prefer regular. I dunno, double stuffed just seems too.... stuffed.

[–]pchieng 0 points1 point ago

Stuf

[–]Yoda_RULZ 0 points1 point ago

Why is it spelled like that?

[–]arlekin21 0 points1 point ago

Shut the up fuck?

[–]spectralnischay 3 points4 points ago

Best TL;DR ever

[–]jadeycakes 3 points4 points ago

You went to Publix and bought oreos instead of their delicious bakery cookies? FOR SHAME.

[–]CookPu 2 points3 points ago

They were buy one get one... I couldn't pass that up. Besides I've recently knocked up my wife so in a couple of years I could my child to get free cookie samples from the bakery, so it'll all work out.

[–]FuzzyBacon 2 points3 points ago

As a worker at a Publix bakery, I cannot stand them anymore. :(

Around number 10,000 they start to look really unappetizing.

[–]jadeycakes 2 points3 points ago

I grew up with Publix but now I live 2 hours from one. You don't know the sadness I see.

[–]pandalolz 1 point2 points ago

Now that they're out of the way its time to get started!

[–]CookPu 1 point2 points ago

But there's still 2 more sleeves in each...

[–]cats_and_vibrators 1 point2 points ago

Best Tl;DR ever. Fuck yeah Oreos!

[–]Glenners 0 points1 point ago

Talking on a cell phone while driving is legal where you live?

[–]CookPu 0 points1 point ago

It is here in Florida. But I still use my bluetooth though!

[–]sheeplearepeople 1 point2 points ago

you're supposed to just throw out the oreo's, + all other sugar junk when you start a diet

[–]CookPu 7 points8 points ago

Oh, and next I bet you'll tell me that I actually need to do P90X instead of just watching it, huh?

[–]sheeplearepeople 1 point2 points ago

enjoy your oreo's...

[–]teenytinytigers 22 points23 points ago

"What was that ice cream? You want me to kill John Lennon?"

[–]thesarahgreen 6 points7 points ago

Too soon

[–]kaiserzeit 18 points19 points ago

If I looked like that eating ice cream, then I wouldn't give a fuck about eating healthier.

[–]TheJanks 9 points10 points ago

Ice cream has dairy, and dairy is on the Pyramid.

[–]VirInsanus 4 points5 points ago

Flawless logic.

[–]doomgiver98 0 points1 point ago

Fries are potatoes too, which are good for you.

[–]Squalor- 10 points11 points ago

Ice cream, pizza, chicken, fish, alcohol, candy, cereal, they all raise such good points.

I find it easier to just stay active and work out than to cut back on delicious foods.

[–]CommentsOnOccasion 4 points5 points ago

Or just not eat as much of the delicious foods.

Want to lose weight? Eat one slice of cake instead of three!

[–]sugarm 2 points3 points ago

You need to talk to my overweight aunt. She doesn't even eat cake.

She'll just eat a normal meal

twice...

[–]atafies 2 points3 points ago

Yup, nothing like someone that complains that they can't lose weight eating healthy and eat 2-3 servings at a time constantly.

[–]zlo2 0 points1 point ago

Depending on your goals, metabolism, appetite and the amount of time you spend in the gym, just working out may not be enough to compensate for all the delicious foods.

[–]wickler02 8 points9 points ago

Counter argument, brain freeze.

[–]CCCHAMP 10 points11 points ago

Cake you also make a valid point.

[–]Here-I-Am 3 points4 points ago

I'm just gonna throw frozen yogurt out there. More healthy, and equally delicious.

[–]MrTheJackThePerson 3 points4 points ago

Reminded me of this

http://www.funnybits.me/2012/10/on-one-hand-i-need-to-lose-weight-but-on-the-other-hand-doughnut.html#.UKVjcIfOqQk

[–]onthewayjdmba 3 points4 points ago

Me going up the stairs: "I need to drink more water." Me at the top: "Where is the soda machine?"

[–]kingkooka 0 points1 point ago

A good combination, green tea!

[–]nixon007 1 point2 points ago

Ice cream is healthy in the right amounts!

[–]FemFapAlt 4 points5 points ago

Everyone's talking about fitness, and I'm just standing here listening to ice cream.

[–]thesarahgreen 2 points3 points ago

That was perfect

[–]FemFapAlt 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for getting it. Have an upvote kind stranger.

[–]Elshar 2 points3 points ago

Frozen Dairy Dessert

[–]ChunkBunny 2 points3 points ago

I really need to eat healthier. I better eat this whole box of chocolates now, so I won't be tempted later.

Flawless logic.

[–]SassyCommander 4 points5 points ago

A minutes on the lips, forever on the hips.

[–]OffensiveJokesOnly 6 points7 points ago

Ironic, that you're making a post related to eating healthier... on your cake day.

Have an upvote.

[–]Jeffro1265 -1 points0 points ago

You are OP, aren't you!

[–]GENIUUS -1 points0 points ago

I think that gif with the fat lady eating something and giving a thumbs up is better for this post. Hint hint (source?)

[–]Ettuj 1 point2 points ago

I never manage to get a prefect tipped ice cream.

[–]RAPE_LASER 1 point2 points ago

IIFYM

[–]Pomguo 1 point2 points ago

Another good reason not to eat healthier is it's your cakeday! And mine too! Cake for everybody!

[–]LkM_ 1 point2 points ago

I ate too much fruit in an attempt to be healthy. Now I have the shits.

[–]kingkooka 0 points1 point ago

Allow the fruit gods to massage your colon and help you lose weight that much faster!

Flawless logic.

[–]CivilizedSavage 1 point2 points ago

I can't tell if this is funny, or if I upvoted it because it was the poster's cakeday.

[–]L2klbs 1 point2 points ago

It's your cake day, go eat cake!

[–]Jman15x 1 point2 points ago

I wish you a merry Cakeday and a wasted new year (on reddit of course)

[–]good_girl_upvoter -1 points0 points ago

"Touche!" I exclaimed, upvoting and licking my Nutella-full spoon simultaneously.

[–]Ohay_Ian 1 point2 points ago

Good Guy PoisonIvee, posts on cake day, doesn't mention it in title

[–]PoisonIvee[S] 0 points1 point ago

Girl* And that was the idea. :)

[–]JillGr 0 points1 point ago

Is that Andrew Garfield?

[–]thesouthpaw 0 points1 point ago

We all complete ice cream, we all complete.

[–]itsJoshV 0 points1 point ago

If you want to force yourself to eat healthier, just do this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nt1N6J_n7E
This will make you eat healthier RIGHT away -__-

[–]fett4evr -1 points0 points ago

oh well I guess I shouldn't post this then http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/20107237/bakery-makes-donuts-injected-with-liquor-flavors OOPS!!!

[–]NovemberAl 0 points1 point ago

Its exactly how i feel before i fap!XD

[–]Ignorant_Scumbag 1 point2 points ago

BRO DO U EVEN LIFT???

[–]Thnickaman 0 points1 point ago

Took me a second look to realize it was Andrew Garfield and NOT Jim Carrey.

[–]alecyo12 -1 points0 points ago

"Spider-man has yet to find out the spider that bit him was a diabetic."

[–]RayginX 0 points1 point ago

Don't care if it's a repost. It's getting my Upvote since it'll always be funny!

[–]BrockFSamson -1 points0 points ago

how is ice cream unhealthy? not like if you are gonna eat tons of vegies and meat you will be all fit and shit. ice cream once in a while wont do anyhting bad you fat mofo

[–]doomgiver98 0 points1 point ago

Are we doing this meme again?

[–]The_Elephant_Man 0 points1 point ago

Whoa, he actually looks about 30 in this picture.

[–]flclreddit 1 point2 points ago

That's alright, boners from food happen to everyone time and again.

[–]Escobeezy 1 point2 points ago

Why did I read this in Thor's voice?

[–]kore464 0 points1 point ago

You mean "frozen fairy dessert?"

[–]HamsterHero 0 points1 point ago

And here I am eating an entire can of garbanzo beans and a nappa cabbage salad while trembling from my workout.

[–]chandleram 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for not pathetically begging for Cake Day Karma. If I could I'd upvote twice, good OC, and no shameless whoring.

[–]CluelessAndUseless 0 points1 point ago

GET IN MY BELLY

[–]SteveMI 0 points1 point ago

I went to the gym twice today and an currently drinking some home brewed beer. Good stuff.

[–]MasonFr429 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for posting about eating healthier while it's your Cake Day.

[–]DaBobobee 0 points1 point ago

Working at an ice cream shop, this happens about every day.

[–]evilpoptart 0 points1 point ago

You don't have to eat that healthy, just exercise.

[–]dontcareimabear -1 points0 points ago

You couldn't find a fat person eating ice cream?

[–]mgr86 1 point2 points ago

perfect 'Cake Day' Post. Perfect.

[–]Kitty_McBitty 2 points3 points ago

If you like chocolate and decadence then here is a healthy recipe to DIE for. I now make this all the time and it's so good and easy. God damn it now I'm craving some, brb, makin' tasties.

[–]teddygrahampam -1 points0 points ago

That awkward moment when you're eating ice cream this second..

[–]YHofSuburbia -3 points-2 points ago

That awkward moment when no one stops overusing this terrible and forced "may may".

[–]barchart -2 points-1 points ago

Are you Jim Carrey?

[–]ihavecrayons -4 points-3 points ago

This is not funny

[–]GluonJetPilot 2 points3 points ago

"This is not funny" is not funny

[–]-silenceofthekiwis- 0 points1 point ago

  1. i melt in your mouth
  2. i'm delicious
  3. i make everybody scream my name

you should eat me right now!

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