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all 79 comments

[–]Ser_Derp 126 points127 points ago

My girlfriend says I make the best scrambled eggs in the world. I'm going to have to meet your 4 year old. No half measures.

[–]GenghisChron 5 points6 points ago

If you're like me you're hearing TV on the Radio in your head right about now.

[–]The_other_Aphex_twin 36 points37 points ago

the secret ingredient is Ricin

[–]WackyWarner1827 10 points11 points ago

It kicks like a 12 Gauge yo...

[–]JavaPants 0 points1 point ago

More like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape.

[–]Adambrady86 6 points7 points ago

How she like her eggs? Fried or fertilized?

[–]newtonzero 2 points3 points ago

Maybe you're dating his 4 year old and she's playing you both cause she's addicted to scrambled eggs

[–]BeezAweez 45 points46 points ago

Well, Walter is the best "cook"

[–]jediknight4life 67 points68 points ago

[–]DuctToast 25 points26 points ago

I like the gif, but let's not turn this awesome subreddit into r/adviceanimals. I feel like I've seen this one particularly often lately. Reaction gifs lose their flavor with extended use, so let's not let "You're God Damn Right" become old too quickly.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 20 points21 points ago

I totally agree with you. In other words, "You're goddamn right."

[–]tdrules 12 points13 points ago

Are you Gordon Ramsay?

[–]shemperdoodle 20 points21 points ago

Fuck yeah, Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs changed my life. I'm not too sure a child would enjoy the texture, though. I know four year old me wouldn't.

[–]Lampmonster1 6 points7 points ago

Mine too. I thought I had eggs all figured out until I watched that video. Now I have to question what else I might be wrong about.

[–]TheHopelessGamer 4 points5 points ago

EVERYTHING. I'm re-evaluating how I make pancakes. It scares me.

[–]Battletooth -3 points-2 points ago

Add bacon into the batter.

You're welcome.

[–]cowbey -5 points-4 points ago

ErmahFehrkingerd! I saw Ramsey making scrambled eggs for his family on some Christmas show. I immediately went to my kitchen and replicated his technique. Yes, egg game changer. Will never make scrambled eggs any other way, the decadence of these eggs is a crime.

[–]shemperdoodle 1 point2 points ago

It's so strange. I use the exact same ingredients and cook them in the same pan, but they taste so much more awesome. It really brings out the flavor in the yolk.

[–]cowbey 7 points8 points ago

So true! I wonder what else I overcook...

Edit: For those curious see Ramsey eggs YouTube link

[–]RickShaw530[S] 2 points3 points ago

My kid would not eat that. And I like Ramsay, but I'm gonna bust his balls right now and tell him he's a shite cook for burning his toast.

[–]onosendaicyberspace7 6 points7 points ago

[–]picard_for_president 0 points1 point ago

That's who Walter reminds me of!

[–]bobmillahhh 20 points21 points ago

N-n-n-no, I think m-m-m-mom m-makes the best scrambled eggs, and I sh-sh-sh-should know.

[–]Forfuckssakes 7 points8 points ago

Just f-f-f-ucking die already.

[–]hustlerrr 1 point2 points ago

I read it in his voice and everything.

[–]Derpster123 13 points14 points ago

I found this surprisingly cute. My little sister (me 16, her 4) says my toast is the best it brings a smile to my face.

[–]bradwasheresoyeah 14 points15 points ago

Daddy has been drinking again.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 20 points21 points ago

It's only 10 am, but if you insist...

[–]1123581321345589144- 3 points4 points ago

I really don't need any reminders that Breaking Bad is months away. :(

[–]-MD- 0 points1 point ago

It's only roughly 5,760 hours away bro, we'll get there.

[–]enderpanda 0 points1 point ago

So, what's your recipe? Mine always seem to come out dry.

Edit: thanks, ill try that!

[–]Tom504 7 points8 points ago

You're overcooking them. Take them off before they look like they are done.

[–]thebigeazy 4 points5 points ago

Take them off just before they are done, and add a little cold butter into it. Stir it through. It adds richness and flavour, as well as cooling the eggs to the point where they won't overcook.

[–]jediknight4life 0 points1 point ago

can haz?

[–]thebigeazy 0 points1 point ago

Also, never forget salt, ideally a nice sea salt, like Maldon. Some diced chives are nice too.

[–]Quierochurros 6 points7 points ago

But salt after cooking. Adding salt before cooking makes them lose fluffiness.

[–]thebigeazy 0 points1 point ago

Indeed, I should have been clearer initially.

[–]ThePhantomScribbler -1 points0 points ago

Also, don't forget to shave black truffle over it after plating

[–]RickShaw530[S] 8 points9 points ago

I scramble them with a little 1/2 and 1/2 and cook them on the highest heat setting after melting some Smart Balance or butter in the pan. Slowly move the spatula side to side. I save the salt and pepper for after they are out of the pan. The kid gets salt and pepper. I like pico de gallo salsa or Frank's Red Hot Wing sauce on mine.

[–]RugerRedhawk 0 points1 point ago

A splash of half-and-half is very helpful in making a good egg.

[–]trunky 1 point2 points ago

Low heat. medium to high heat dries them out. Lower-medium heat and never stop moving them.

[–]spartann17 2 points3 points ago

I have 3 amazing kinds of eggs i've thought up i need to share with everyone.

First one, for a breakfast sandwich, when the eggs are halfway cooked, pour a touch of syrup over them and cook it into the eggs and a sprinkle of sugar in the raw. Slap it on a lightly toasted Thomas's bagel and it tastes just like a mcgriddle! (A little syrup rubbed on top of the bagel and some powdered sugar makes it look and taste twice as good)

Next, eggs cooked with green peppers and tomatoes and cheese, and add hot sauce when halfway cooked, and pepper.

My favorite, cheesy eggs... Mix with Colby jack cheese and salami slices. Pepper, and a pinch of salt. Slide it all together in a pile in the pan when their done, shut off the stove, put any cheese over the top of the pile, cover it with a pot lid smaller than the pan (so that it is actually in the pan) let it steam and melt the cheese.

[–]TheyCallMeCactus 3 points4 points ago

Because it was your four year old, I thought that you'd change it to "Gosh Darn"... Maybe I'm looking for too many ways to make OC.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 2 points3 points ago

Good suggestion and I do edit my language around my kids, but every single time I post OC I get downvoted into oblivion. Haters be hatin', yo...

[–]TheyCallMeCactus 0 points1 point ago

That's a shame. It's all I post, but I usually get a small amount of upvotes, so I've learned to be content with that.

[–]BrynHavoc 1 point2 points ago

my dad used to cook our scrambled eggs into shapes. It made up for how bad they were.

[–]alchemist23 -1 points0 points ago

Don't get me wrong, I love Breaking Bad, but keep in mind Walter is the opposite of a hero. Why is he loved so much? I guess he is a modern Tony Montana, who wasn't a hero either.

[–]bremo93 0 points1 point ago

Lies, my dad actually makes the best scrambled eggs. He adds milk and cheese to them and they melt in your mouth. I can no longer eat anyone else's scrambled eggs.

Edit: grammar

[–]RickShaw530[S] 3 points4 points ago

Whoseyerdaddy? Oh, that's right...I am. I am the one who scrambles.

[–]ProbablyNotLying 1 point2 points ago

Fuck yeah that's a good feeling.

When my son said I make the best chili ever.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 1 point2 points ago

Gold!!! I actually prefer your submission to mine!

[–]annoyingcommunist 0 points1 point ago

I've gotten to where I laugh more in r/reactiongifs than I do in r/funny

[–]Superchair14 1 point2 points ago

Protip: reddit becomes much funnier when you unsub from /r/funny

[–]gothicmaster 0 points1 point ago

It's funny because they could be shitty but he/she wouldn't know because he is 4 and those are the only scrambled eggs he/she ever ate since arriving in this world.

[–]t0wn 0 points1 point ago

Cool. Do one about how good you are at boiling water.

[–]dweckl 0 points1 point ago

Levity aside, I consider myself a pretty good egg man and have been honing my skills for 30 years.

Now, this is all a matter of opinion. I know many men that will not eat a steak that isn't burnt to death, because that's their taste. I could talk all day about how to perfectly cook a steak on the outside while keeping the inside pink and they'd vomit.

But here is my key to scrambled eggs:

If you want to enjoy the flavor of the egg itself, the goal is to develop a texture. Tough, crusty, rubbery, or chewy eggs can be your preference, but they seem to distract from the egg's flavor. Again, if you like it, fine. But a creamy, consistent texture is absolutely delicious.

Use a pot, not a pan. I have heard people say not to mix the eggs first but to stir them after cracking into the pot, but that doesn't make a difference to me. Beat the eggs gently, just enough to mix, and don't whip the shit out of them.

Low heat, keep the pot moving with one hand, and constantly stir with the other. You don't have to stir fast, but just keep the eggs moving so nothing sticks to the bottom too long. This means you won't get rubbery bits and pieces, but a more consistent, cooked, creamy texture that has no lumps or chunks.

Eggs should not be dry. They should be creamy. They should glisten. Move on and off the heat if you have to while stirring, and get that shit off the stove just before it's done.

On the plate, the eggs should not clump or stick together. If it does, you overcooked it. When you dig your fork into them, it should give a little squish and not hold together. Listen for the sound of your mom washing her pussy on the driveway - that's the consistency you want in your eggs.

Add salt after. Also try adding cream cheese about halfway through the cooking.

[–]helloWorldguy 0 points1 point ago

Anyone notice he only says: "God damn right"?

[–]heycheeahs 0 points1 point ago

dude, this gif gets me every. single. time.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 0 points1 point ago

I resemble Walter White, so this GIF represents me well...

[–]picard_for_president 2 points3 points ago

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[–]Queefaroni -4 points-3 points ago

Enough with this fucking gif already.

[–]wallysmith127 -4 points-3 points ago

The great thing about this subreddit is that it adds fantastic new context to maybe-retread gifs.

If you can't appreciate that... then, not sure why you're in this subreddit.

[–]Hot-Tea 5 points6 points ago

Someone being complimented by their 4 year old daughter is "fantastic new context"?

[–]wallysmith127 -1 points0 points ago

I'm speaking about the subreddit as a whole, not just this one gif.

There have always been tons of reposts on this subreddit, but the (typically new) context adds to the value.

[–]reb_mccuster -2 points-1 points ago

This gif will never get old.

[–]GamerTyke -1 points0 points ago

Off topic: I just had a huge pang of "wanting-this-show-back" syndrome.

[–]EbonCoast -1 points0 points ago

1500 upvotes and nobody's called you out for reposting from last week yet. This is some kind of record.

[–]RickShaw530[S] 0 points1 point ago

I've seen this gif on here at least a dozen times. The gif itself is a repost, my submission is not.