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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]batquux 533 points534 points ago

Does he even shoplift?

[–]gangnam_style 167 points168 points ago

Looks like he robbed one of those cellphones for the homeless bins.

[–]MemphisRoots 81 points82 points ago

, and those anal beads from the corner sex shop

[–]indoobitably 46 points47 points ago

nah was an anal beads for the homeless bin as well.

[–]Veradux21 6 points7 points ago

those are prayer beads you sluts

[–]stephsikk 7 points8 points ago

Because a guy holding a gun with his 'prayer beads' is worth defending. Not. Anal beads /10

[–]onedarkhorsee 5 points6 points ago

Nah they are training anal beads, could be multi purpose though

[–]Iminurcomputer 22 points23 points ago

Best Buy employee here... He's one of the dudes who goes through our recycling and gets the dummy phones (some are convincing) and thinks he found a treasure chest... Pretty sure one of those is a Walmart pre-paid card, baller status

[–]RogueCMR 25 points26 points ago

He does, in Russia.

[–]Optometristprime 59 points60 points ago

In soviet Russia, shops lift you

[–]diarrhea_is_wet_poo 26 points27 points ago

In Soviet Russia, Thug Life choose you

[–]deville94 7 points8 points ago

I feel like this man is 10 year old me in adult form.

[–]Mehworth 565 points566 points ago

This is the cover for DJ Wladyslaw's new album, "The Uprising." Here are some of the lyrics from the title track:

"Nearly one thousand Euro I take no resistance, Because 9 millimeter Luger say I mean business. I have many cell phone and trinket to barter. Perhaps later evening I make sex to your daughter."

He's currently touring on the Wal-Mart circuit with Pit Bull.

[–]darad0 15 points16 points ago

fo real? where can I download this album?

[–]FakePlasticShrimp 0 points1 point ago

Don't man, the UK already makes proper poor people music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usksH8B07do

A bit philosophical with a cup of tea.

[–]deltarob 113 points114 points ago

Poland will always confuse me

[–]3dom 54 points55 points ago

Money in the photo are Russian roubles (bluish are 1k notes and orange are 5k ~ $1.2k total).

[–]Zabiyaka 15 points16 points ago

And the gun is Makarov 90%.

[–]Absnerdity 31 points32 points ago

What is the other 10%?

[–]sleevey 50 points51 points ago

We try not to talk about talk about that. Great grandma married a black man.

[–]h-v-smacker 0 points1 point ago

It is MP-654K most probably, a BB gun.

[–]what_u_want_2_hear 87 points88 points ago

Poland has been wiped off the map via murder and torture several times by Russia, Germany, Russia again, then Germany said "what's this?" and did it again, and then Russia killed everybody one more time because of a typo on an internal memo from Stalin. So, cut them a break. Given all that, Poles are still some fantastic people.

[–]Istanbul200 41 points42 points ago

Hey. Sweden murdered and raped Poland too. Don't forget us!

[–]Filkow 45 points46 points ago

they also saved Europe from muslim rule back in the day

[–]Ubiquibot 28 points29 points ago

You're damned right they did! Battle of Vienna, 1682.

[–]omaha_shanks 6 points7 points ago

Charles Martell called, he wants to have a talk.

[–]rescuetoaster 19 points20 points ago

What's to be confused about? Track suits, bowl cuts, and genuine HTQ and iFONES for everyone! Truly, a gangsters paradise.

[–]robotwarlord 9 points10 points ago

Please tell me you're not joking.

[–]Abedeus 5 points6 points ago

Given the fact that there are no Wal-Marts in Eastern Europe...

[–]robotwarlord 2 points3 points ago

Shameface.

[–]I_Key_Cars 12 points13 points ago

And I thought it was just another random pic from 4chan. What was I thinking?!

[–]DerelictDiety 4 points5 points ago

I'm having NWA flash backs. This guy is the man.

[–]roughsketch 69 points70 points ago

That's my purse!

[–]I_MadeYouReadThis 87 points88 points ago

I don't know you!

[–]stussy-one 10 points11 points ago

fantastic koth reference. I commend you

[–]riggsinator 748 points749 points ago

[–]GodRoster 264 points265 points ago

This is the final boss of the internet.

[–]TheCompass 16 points17 points ago

Russell Brand really let himself go.

[–]adidasaids 61 points62 points ago

But after he dies he respawns as a T-rex with a missile launcher riding a shark.

[–]Spoot1 48 points49 points ago

Two sharks as skis

[–]Snuffy114 67 points68 points ago

[–]tardwash 11 points12 points ago

He's made 225 dollars prostituting himself this year. He's awesome .

[–]Poot_Tweet 18 points19 points ago

Someone just had to go humanize him. I'll never be able to laugh at RockGlockCock again.

[–]IforOne 310 points311 points ago

The guitar hero controller makes it

[–]Maxsul79 29 points30 points ago

That and he's obviously still in the bed he used to wet as a 3 year old.

[–]scarlotti-the-blue 19 points20 points ago

he still wets it.

[–]BLVD 8 points9 points ago

You missed a 3

[–]Ar3aM4n 123 points124 points ago

If you look close, they are both Rock Band / Guitar Hero controllers.

[–]TheClayroo 116 points117 points ago

Well, ya, this guy's not kidding around.

[–]shadowdude777 2 points3 points ago

I think the Strat is a RB controller and the Les Paul is GH.

[–]LionHorse 52 points53 points ago

That's what freedom looks like.

[–]Priapulid 17 points18 points ago

And it smells like sweat, chicken grease and cheetos.

[–]aprofondir 21 points22 points ago

Wat? How on the earth did you find more pictures of the same guy? What did you type in, ''fat bearded hairy man with guitar hero controllers''? And why would you do that anyway?

[–]Glasweg1an 11 points12 points ago

Twist : PhallogicalScholar is THAT guy.

[–]marvinsmurf 2 points3 points ago

Google reverse image search <3

[–]bigbobo33 277 points278 points ago

[–]strawnotrazz 47 points48 points ago

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

[–]Require_More_Mineral 14 points15 points ago

Big

Meaty

Claws!!

[–]mypenisdoeswork 63 points64 points ago

I feel like the guy on the floor who is holding the gun would be Kevin Federline.

[–]Annapolitan 33 points34 points ago

M.I.A.: All I wanna do is bang bang bang bang and take your mon-nay.

[–]kleptofridge 6 points7 points ago

You forgot the PhhwwwwCHING

[–]SwanChairUh 58 points59 points ago

"Okay mom, hold the camera steady! I don't want you screwin' this up!"

[–]BCBUDDHA 27 points28 points ago

[–]Hedonopoly 18 points19 points ago

That dude is surely actually a real hardcase in China. You don't have tats like that and that much RMB (just randomguessing that's 100k groups of Mao's, something like $15k apiece) without being a bad, bad man.

[–]Soryen 2 points3 points ago

That license plate he has on the Porsche must have been expensive as hell. Jesus, I'm guessing in the million RMBs.

[–]pesosMike 147 points148 points ago

Russell Brand?

[–]Braziliger 62 points63 points ago

Yes, from 15 years in the future.

[–]what_u_want_2_hear 32 points33 points ago

Russell Brand's equally talented brother Larry.

[–]jmblumenshine 29 points30 points ago

This is what he looks like if he does not become a drug addict that people find charming.

[–]Verbose_Slayer 6 points7 points ago

in a parallel universe my friend, in a parallel universe

[–]red321red321 20 points21 points ago

This could totally be Randy Marsh in due time.

[–]bendvis 6 points7 points ago

At least this guy doesn't have his finger on the trigger like a moron.

[–]Snakeoilsage 7 points8 points ago

This was the face of evil I thought of when I saw OP's pic.

[–]riggsinator 7 points8 points ago

Apparently this guy has more pictures floating around. He is a man among mice.

[–]krishnagoth 110 points111 points ago

For anyone wondering: he has about $1200.

[–]goddamnferret 112 points113 points ago

I always laugh when people hold up money and it's between $800 and $1500. It's just ballin' to hold your rent money up for a picture.

[–]cumfarts 173 points174 points ago

[–]Richeh 70 points71 points ago

It kinda is when you're fourteen.

[–]Cheeze_wiz 32 points33 points ago

Am I the only person that saved up my money, and had more than $17 dollars when I was 14?

[–]t0xa 15 points16 points ago

You are a minority.

[–]Madonkadonk 26 points27 points ago

The 14 year old version of a 1%er

[–]cboogie 4 points5 points ago

I saw some asshole the other day walking down 7th ave in NYC counting cash in a manner to show it off. I was so tempted to smack his hand. I would have gone everywhere. But then I would have probably had to deal with a bullet in me.

[–]absolutsyd 4 points5 points ago

To be fair, I thought $1500 was a fuck load of money when I was 16.

[–]i_believe_in_pizza 8 points9 points ago

What currency?

[–]RockBears 31 points32 points ago

Rubles. Thats russian guy

[–]johnq-pubic 15 points16 points ago

I'm not your 'guy' buddy.

[–]Patrickfoster 2 points3 points ago

Nope. Not happening.

[–]jennstarr12 63 points64 points ago

I would not be pointing a gun at a water bed.

[–]bassblair11 57 points58 points ago

especially with that trigger discipline.

[–]diggity801 89 points90 points ago

Someone ALWAYS has to mention trigger discipline when there is a gun in the picture. Without fail.

[–]wuu 13 points14 points ago

It's the free space for reddit bingo.

[–]Obsolite_Processor 52 points53 points ago

Well it's important. If we say it every single time, we might prevent some moron from shooting themselves in the foot or something...

Holy crap, we've gotta stop mentioning trigger discipline! We are depriving so many subreddits of good original content by teaching people how not to accidentally shoot themselves!

[–]cwnc2008 16 points17 points ago

Whenever I see one of these pictures I like to pretend that all their most valuable possessions are in the photo and they're documenting them for insurance purposes.

[–]scottyboy130 74 points75 points ago

Anal beads

[–]djlewt 43 points44 points ago

They're actually prayer beads, but sure..

[–]barbados-slim 139 points140 points ago

pray your ass off

[–]DontJumpPuppy 22 points23 points ago

They'd be more useful if they were anal beads.

[–]orthag 7 points8 points ago

They can be anal beeds. If you're into that sort of thing.

[–]Aloooon 11 points12 points ago

I've got 400 mouses and 400 houses

[–]robstach 29 points30 points ago

I love guys like this. It gives me a fighting chance in the gene pool!

[–]i_believe_in_pizza 23 points24 points ago

Oh, you'd be surprised. Soon after he posted that pic, he never had to masturbate again.

[–]BelugaTaquito 30 points31 points ago

Because he accidentally shot off his own junk?

[–]SergeantSlapNuts 38 points39 points ago

He shot the bed and drowned in 8" of water.

[–]holycrapmyskinisblac 77 points78 points ago

I'm pretty sure that guy has been robbing people 0_o

[–]Sirefly 82 points83 points ago

NAh, he's just showing us the contents of his mother's purse.

[–]BillFuckingMurray1 26 points27 points ago

On his mother's flowered bedspread.

[–]notagangsta 24 points25 points ago

And are those rosary beads?? Did he rob a nun?

[–]MEANMUTHAFUKA 15 points16 points ago

I think they're ass beads

[–]pornmonger -1 points0 points ago

Lol Catholics

[–]BloodyNora 8 points9 points ago

I think he's just kept every cell phone he's had since the early nineties.

[–]CidofCidsley[S] 45 points46 points ago

look at all the awesome cell phones he has.

[–]ballsdeepinurmom 19 points20 points ago

they were cool when this pic was taken...

[–]maxwellmaxen 19 points20 points ago

hey! i spot an iphone 3g! no apple maps!

[–]TheDarkDoctor 10 points11 points ago

Gangsta

[–]Snakeoilsage 18 points19 points ago

Let me just pose seductively with the contents of my mom's purse. Yeah, I'm a gangsta.

[–]SarahHoops0930 4 points5 points ago

He didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose him.

[–]guanlove 11 points12 points ago

I hate thieves!! Someone stole my laptop and wallet this weekend from my car. It is so disruptive to the victims lives (I'm sure the bastards care). I wish a painful, slow death to all thieves (especially the bastard who broke into my car)

[–]esDragon 7 points8 points ago

A few years ago my friends' car was broken into, and the thief stole everything, including their wedding planning book with months of work in it. That weekend they got a phone call telling them to check the garbage bin outside their apartment. Lo and behold, the thief had returned their wedding plans. S/he still kept everything else, but my friends were so relieved to get their book back. A thief with a heart of gold? Maybe not exactly, but it was still a small kindness that was much appreciated.

[–]Bfeezey 3 points4 points ago

He just wanted them to keep the venue. So he could rob them and their guests.

[–]JustMakesItAllUp 3 points4 points ago

brave warrior

[–]metalfingazdoom 2 points3 points ago

Trailer Park boy

[–]th3ragnar0k 4 points5 points ago

I don't want any problems, just give me all your money. . . and that rosary. -__-

[–]1for1 2 points3 points ago

This is why we cant have nice things.

[–]swedish-guy 2 points3 points ago

Hey guys check out my anal beads, airsoft gun and old sony-ericsson!

[–]InVultusSolis 8 points9 points ago

He looks so Polish it's not even funny. There are guys exactly like this everywhere in Chicago.

[–]ginjah_ninjah 3 points4 points ago

i'd suck his dick

[–]mikede88 6 points7 points ago

yeah! obsolete cellular devices, some beads, a woman's hand purse, a BB gun, and a decidedly feminine pose definitely makes me think "this dude is so bad ass"

[–]JakesGunReviews 5 points6 points ago

'Tis a Makarov, my good sir.

[–]dtooman 0 points1 point ago

And he's wearing a cross. Perfect.

[–]goodguygregor 0 points1 point ago

Straight outta Europe, a mothafucka so hardcore anal beads, debit cards, shitty phones, do ya want more?

[–]SamLeJambon 2 points3 points ago

Belongs on r/cringe

[–]Rsubs33 0 points1 point ago

Thug Life

[–]draemscat 0 points1 point ago

He looks russian to me.

Source: I'm russian.

[–]NHMatt 5 points6 points ago

I think that must be the photo negative. The black guy looks white.

[–]trampus1 6 points7 points ago

Gallery of Russian "gangsters". They look funny, but don't forget that a lot of them probably have nothing to lose.

[–]Priapulid 1 point2 points ago

Man, when I picture Russian gangsters I picture this not this

[–]BigCalhoun 3 points4 points ago

After looking at those pictures, I see Russia as one big back-water town ripped from the hills of West Virginia.

[–]aprofondir 2 points3 points ago

Well not all Russians are like that. Most of them are civilized.

[–]zoltanps 3 points4 points ago

Get your goddamn finger off the trigger, numnuts!

[–]Akeninja 4 points5 points ago

Russians....

[–]FisherKing22 3 points4 points ago

You are ruining r/wtf. Your submission history backs me up on this one.

[–]YellowTango 5 points6 points ago

Wow this definitely belongs in r/wtf!

[–]brutalsun 2 points3 points ago

I noticed he has a Nokia... he's the most dangerous man in the world.

[–]Lillipout 3 points4 points ago

He looks like he has one little shriveled T-Rex arm.

[–]igallant -1 points0 points ago

on a water bed?

[–]iamadogforreal 1 point2 points ago

Just did the math here. The value of all those items is close to what I put in my 401k in the last couple of months. Crime really doesn't pay. I guess it beats having a real job though.

[–]ILoveCamelCase 1 point2 points ago

Who needs to be awesome when you have all this SWAG?

[–]smileymalaise 1 point2 points ago

That Monopoly money looks very pretty.

[–]vinfx 0 points1 point ago

Why do people take these photos? Are they supposed to be comical?

[–]revolct 12 points13 points ago

"Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything." Homer Simpson

[–]_thankyousir_ 1 point2 points ago

with blackjack! and hookers!

[–]addsomethingepic -1 points0 points ago

7 phones, a purse, a chain(or anal beads i cant tell) and a ninja star. Lets rob a bunch of people and pose with the evidence.

[–]Supernaturaltwin 0 points1 point ago

Nice purse

[–]EventHorizonSurfer 0 points1 point ago

The kind of guy who shoots himself in a youtube video while playing with his gun.

[–]guitartoad 0 points1 point ago

The leather man-purse really ties the whole thing together.

[–]snowtires 0 points1 point ago

Bees?!

[–]TRAUMAjunkie 0 points1 point ago

thug life

[–]snowskier 0 points1 point ago

That's just bubbles after he took his glasses off trying to act like Ricky

[–]Sackman_and_Throbbin -1 points0 points ago

Dem prayer beads...

[–]Cum5lut 0 points1 point ago

Yeah!!! Check out my gun and my phones

[–]Amsterdom 0 points1 point ago

he's like

"Hey, look at all my things"

[–]AliasUndercover -1 points0 points ago

A cheap London mugger posing brilliantly with all of his ill-gotten loot, conveniently forgetting that there are CAMERAS ALL OVER LONDON!!! The cops now have your name, oh criminal genius.

[–]Relvnt_to_Yr_Intrsts 0 points1 point ago

I think that's my old roommate

[–]CynicalPineapple 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or does the camera angle make it look like he pissed himself.

[–]MedSPAZ -1 points0 points ago

Boats and hoes, boats and hoes!

[–]BDJ56 -1 points0 points ago

Are those anal beads?

[–]crosby510 1 point2 points ago

Look at all those nice things, he has some really nice things.

[–]redditorwifeshusband 0 points1 point ago

This guy doesn't even have any throwing stars? WTF is right.

[–]TARDIS -1 points0 points ago

I thought the big rosary cross was a ninja star and was like DAYUM! Turned out to not be a ninja star...

[–]cmiller7786 0 points1 point ago

I could only hope to be this gangsta in my life!

[–]falaefal 0 points1 point ago

WHAT A MUTHAFUCKIN BAWSS

[–]Que_Pasa_ 0 points1 point ago

Willing to bet that's his mother's purse.

[–]Throwawaychica 0 points1 point ago

Are those anal beads?

[–]Thendofreason 1 point2 points ago

You can clearly see his mom's purse that he took the money out of

[–]MadCat328 0 points1 point ago

badass floral bedding!

[–]seekfear 0 points1 point ago

Wow, Visa cards. He is BADASS.

[–]Crazy4sixflags 0 points1 point ago

"Look what I got at the swap meet! I robbed them with the prices I paid"

[–]Trees4twenty 0 points1 point ago

looks like the nokia is a demo phone from the look of that gray screen.

[–]aklex10 0 points1 point ago

The purse, flip phone, and bed sheets make him exceptionally badass

[–]Ollieboots -1 points0 points ago

What's the deal with the anal beads? Is he a pimp?

[–]Raybdbomb 1 point2 points ago

Sean Penn with down syndrome.

[–]PimpinPim -1 points0 points ago

This should be on /r/funny .

[–]pensivepedro 0 points1 point ago

Niiiice man purse.

[–]iTzD4V 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure one of those phones was a Nokia.

[–]NazzerDawk 0 points1 point ago

Oh NO he is holding that purse hostage at gunpoint!

[–]theoretic_lee 0 points1 point ago

Where is Moneymaker Mike? Krispy Kreme

[–]seth11111 0 points1 point ago

As silly as that guy looks, I would actually not fuck with this dude. He's so weird you never know, he just might not hesitate you shoot you.

[–]roc420 -1 points0 points ago

Anyone know how much money was there and where it was from?What is that 5 cell phones? Ain't it enough to keep track of 1?

[–]byttle 0 points1 point ago

ah the poor fiscal responsibility pose.

[–]HowlingMadMurphy -1 points0 points ago

What is that, a cz82?

[–]Samchadhoss 0 points1 point ago

What a lovely floral pattern for such a badass.