Why my boyfriend hates winter

yojenkim · 2012-11-12T13:22:59+00:00

Source

And optional raptor version.

LepKoGreh · 2012-11-12T10:23:08+00:00

I like to put girlfriends feet under my balls, and between my legs, so she gets warm and i cool my balls.

papsmearfestival · 2012-11-12T14:28:06+00:00

That's foreplay in my house. My wife understands that she can warm her feet, but after that it's on.

zipperhead1971 · 1 day

i miss cold feet pressed against me when i sleep....forever alone

Zerble · 2012-11-12T13:19:11+00:00

He hates winter because you are sadistic.

got it.

vailman · 2012-11-12T13:13:55+00:00

dick move bro! I can feel the pain.

KrazyEyezKilla · 2012-11-12T13:26:03+00:00

And then you suddenly wake up on the floor at 3AM?

jinsosu · 2012-11-12T14:10:46+00:00

In Texas, Winter is a myth... :(

Ninjajock · 2012-11-12T18:35:46+00:00

This isn't realistic... there's no way he'd actually have half of the bed.

daedalus1982 · 2012-11-12T14:42:31+00:00

My wife said, "are her legs hairy? Her legs should be hairy."

bondinferno · 2012-11-12T14:18:29+00:00

Sometimes I swear my girlfriend sucks the life right out of me. I'll be perfectly comfortable, when suddenly I'm grabbed by these cold hands until all my heat is gone, and then I'm left cold and shivering

SmileyNimbus · 2012-11-12T09:36:22+00:00

Because you are hellspawn?

FluffyPuddles · 2012-11-12T13:54:01+00:00

This is my appendages all year long. My boyfriend calls me ghost hands.

aaronhowser1 · 1 day

Well quit doing that ya bastard

Achilles_12 · 1 day

Just kidding. You have no boyfriend.

Cypress85 · 2012-11-12T13:16:43+00:00

Truly, you are worse than Hitler.

bootsbaby · 2012-11-12T14:11:25+00:00

Artwork By Katie Shanahan.

PainkillerSC · 2012-11-12T14:43:58+00:00

Girlfriend did that to me last night. Fell off the bed and banged my head on a chair leg

bstampl1 · 2012-11-12T14:42:01+00:00

You did nothing wrong.

Just like Hitler.

skywalker777 · 2012-11-12T18:40:57+00:00

i am going to die alone.

imperator285 · 2012-11-12T13:11:39+00:00

you heartless bitch

AlleriaX · 2012-11-12T14:13:09+00:00

You evil evil witch

SMB73 · 2012-11-12T14:18:33+00:00

Is it weird when you actually like when that happens? My wife has poor circulation in her toes and I let her put her cold feet against my legs or back to help warm them up, this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Riseofashes · 2012-11-12T14:49:10+00:00

With my last girlfriend, I absolutely loved winter but hated summer. She was Thai, and we lived in Tokyo. I'm really good in cold weather, she was really comfortable in hot weather. This meant that if we ever used the A/C in summer. She would get too cold and complain >.<

I need to find a girl who shares my ice-blood...

e4excellence · 2012-11-12T17:01:12+00:00

And that's why I snapped her shins in half, officer.

cans-please · 2012-11-12T18:59:50+00:00

That's fine for before you're married with kids. My husband probably longs for the good old days when I did not feel perfectly comfortable snuggling my ice cold fingers or toes right in his undies. He has no need for functioning testicles anymore.

Raballo · 2012-11-12T13:17:07+00:00

She does this all winter long and gets mad when i take all the blankets to try and regain my body heat.

SixWhiteLies · 2012-11-12T16:19:52+00:00

Alternatively "Why my boyfriend thinks I'm a bit of a dick" ಠ_ಠ

BatXDude · 2012-11-12T14:07:50+00:00

Are you my girlfriend by any chance?

ATomatoAmI · 2012-11-12T14:28:04+00:00

Really? That doesn't seem that bad. "Freezing my ass off" and "missing out on short skirts for months" are way higher on my list.

Toby-one · 2012-11-12T15:05:42+00:00

I love cold feet on my back! But that is mostly because I am a very varm person... mostly..

PhazonZim · 2012-11-12T15:16:31+00:00

The trick is to have as much of your body up against his as possible, so while he's all cozy under the blankets you're stealing his heat directly from his body!

mleah · 2012-11-12T15:38:34+00:00

My ex's response to cold feet "Jesus, are you dead?"

coilla · 2012-11-12T16:00:46+00:00

LOL

A. My feet reach subartic temperatures all year round

B. My husband LOVES my subartic feet because he is always so hot. He has yet to actually be able to warm up my feet though, I generally get him cold before my feet warm up. =(

theoldicetongue · 2012-11-12T16:53:52+00:00

I'm always warm, so when my boyfriend comes to bed he cuddles up against me. I would normally love this, but be is freezing. I scream "no no no" like we are in a dark alley and he's trying to take my virginity... essentially he is cold raping me. I don't like it, but it is common. wars should be fought against cold rape.

Lynex · 2012-11-12T15:57:23+00:00

My ex did that once.

Once.

She learned her lesson when I stuck it in her pooper.

Idontlikekarmawhores · 2012-11-12T14:23:38+00:00

You fucking bitch.

bitchskank2012 · 2012-11-12T14:05:05+00:00

Pretty much sums up male oppression in one light-hearted photo.

Not only will she take everything from you so that you can't be the least bit warm and comfortable, but she'll warm her icy feet on your back and walk on you too. She doesn't care about your needs or feelings.

lakeone · 2012-11-12T12:57:03+00:00

Also why girls like you shouldn't be able to complain when one finally has enough and push you out of bed >:c

Alwnxie · 2012-11-12T14:58:12+00:00

Then don't fucking do it..

Smugjester · 2012-11-12T15:17:59+00:00

You spelled "winter makes me a bitch" wrong.

jakersbossman · 2012-11-12T15:11:34+00:00

You mean why your boyfriend hates you.

keith_weaver · 2012-11-12T16:09:09+00:00

I think that's why he hates you.

fap_like_a_sir · 2012-11-12T16:50:28+00:00

No I'm pretty sure he hates you for doing that

lolplayerem · 2012-11-12T17:43:11+00:00

No, he doesn't hate winter, he hates you when you do that

iwasntexpectingthat · 2012-11-12T13:41:59+00:00

This picture was the reason I started doing it. It feels so good!

8_4_Schu · 2012-11-12T17:20:50+00:00

Those cold feet on my back are grounds for her waking up with a mushroom stamp on her forehead from my morning wood.

kheltar · 2012-11-12T13:51:59+00:00

I call my gf a limpet in winter. She's all about snuggling up to get warm, meanwhile I go in to melt down.

ElTerreeblay · 2012-11-12T14:42:44+00:00

I actually REALLY like the feeling of cold hands while I'm trying to warm up. We'd get a long fine.

andyfrank · 2012-11-12T14:43:32+00:00

y-yeah...i can relate ;-;

cap10wow · 2012-11-12T14:47:46+00:00

Quick! Someone do a faceswap!

seraph77 · 2012-11-12T14:47:58+00:00

no karma decay posted yet?

dukeeduke · 2012-11-12T14:55:24+00:00

Winter? That shit happens to me year round.

TrampledEcho · 2012-11-12T14:55:38+00:00

He actually thinks those are your breasts

drewbowski22 · 2012-11-12T14:56:50+00:00

You sinister winch.

SpiderEternal · 2012-11-12T15:00:54+00:00

This is exactly why I love winter. Now I just need the gf.

PortAltepa · 2012-11-12T15:07:43+00:00

Does anyone have a solution to cold extremities in wintertime? Even with socks/gloves it happens. I realize this might be better in AskSci.

choco_cake · 2012-11-12T15:09:15+00:00

At first I read "why my brother hates winter" and was like .. wut, you share a bed with your sibling. Man, Jenny's lessons did not pay off...

iwasateenagedirtbag · 2012-11-12T15:16:21+00:00

cold extremities are my only defense against tickle attacks. i welcome the winter.

palordrolap · 2012-11-12T15:27:59+00:00

... suspiciously reminiscent of Velma (sans glasses) and Shaggy ...

rapcorruptsyouth · 2012-11-12T15:31:26+00:00

No shit...

SargentMcGreger · 2012-11-12T15:39:02+00:00

God damn it my gf does this too, then I get a soda and put it on her back for revenge

trevbot · 2012-11-12T15:39:59+00:00

Do people actually sleep fully clothed like that?

HelpdeskGrunt · 2012-11-12T15:44:46+00:00

Every. Damn. Time.

AwesomeFaic · 2012-11-12T15:48:43+00:00

Her legs are way too tiny

Halluclnate · 2012-11-12T15:51:05+00:00

GOD DAMMIT REDDIT! Right in the feels....

BackroomToaster · 2012-11-12T15:51:26+00:00

Of course he hates winter, you took away all of the blanket. Classic.

TerminalxSound · 2012-11-12T16:23:52+00:00

Someone's getting fuzzy socks for Christmas.

laman132 · 2012-11-12T16:31:50+00:00

Those are some tiny fucking legs.

Formula1Deals · 2012-11-12T16:39:32+00:00

I think he has any bad memory in winter. That's why he hates winter.

partofthevoid · 2012-11-12T16:46:55+00:00

YOU MONSTER!

localjesse · 2012-11-12T16:59:40+00:00

This is everyday of the year for me...

adw00t · 2012-11-12T17:04:56+00:00

Thats not the only cold feet he would get...

papilio_glaucus · 2012-11-12T17:10:22+00:00

I always wear socks for this reason.

shableh · 2012-11-12T17:31:50+00:00

This isn't limited to the winter

justonecomment · 2012-11-12T17:45:08+00:00

I do that to my wife.

lncontheivable · 2012-11-12T17:58:37+00:00

I love this shit. I am normally a fiery furnace in bed. By all means, warm your tootsies against my supple radiant manflesh.

tattedspyder · 2012-11-12T17:58:44+00:00

Not winter, just you.

lolpancakeslol · 2012-11-12T18:08:02+00:00

My girl is an odd one. She'll sleep naked in the winter except for a pair of socks.

ICANSEEYOUFAPPING · 2012-11-12T18:48:16+00:00

So...do guys get cold feet? And why are guys typically a lot warmer then girls?

joyco66 · 2012-11-12T18:48:58+00:00

Yeah cause that doesn't also happen in the spring, summer and fall. my ex was like that, any time she gets in bed her feet and hands are freezing. 10 minutes later though, shes generating enough heat to warm a small city.

TAC0001 · 2012-11-12T19:02:26+00:00

I do the same thing with my cold hands on my wife's boobs.

Cliff_Racers · 2012-11-12T19:03:59+00:00

Ok, ya, that is really damn cute.

smilingonion · 2012-11-12T19:06:05+00:00

Not just in Winter...every woman I've ever known had ice cold feet

BTW That pic is a little inaccurate...her feet should be a few inches lower to make it more realistic

neatoprsn · 2012-11-12T19:38:30+00:00

He hates winter because there's a child under the blankets?

JadeDragoness · 2012-11-12T20:15:31+00:00

My husband love my cold hands and feet. He runs more warm than normal and gets all hot and sweaty when he is sleeping, so he loves it when I get in bed and put my cold hands and feet on him to cool him off.

mxzrxp · 2012-11-12T20:44:25+00:00

don't be so sure its winter he hates...

ashlov77 · 2012-11-12T20:51:12+00:00

The boyfriend here reminds me of Ron Stoppable from Kim Possible :)

le0dude20 · 2012-11-12T21:02:37+00:00

Ah the OLD cold feet to your back gag! How i miss that. My girlfriend did that to me once.... ONCE!

Reaver_01 · 2012-11-12T21:15:47+00:00

Lol. It's the opposite for me and my wife.. She hates it when I come to bed after she does...

addmoreice · 2012-11-12T21:58:53+00:00

It's like cuddling with a butterball turkey.

LNMagic · 2012-11-12T23:31:26+00:00

He'll never marry you if you keep getting cold feet.

punk1984 · 2012-11-12T23:53:59+00:00

My friend's favorite activity is to stick her ice-cold hands on my neck.

Probably because I shriek and stand absolutely still until she removes them.

deadgnome · 2012-11-13T00:19:19+00:00

Bitch.

MoneysOnTheDresser · 2012-11-13T00:37:36+00:00

Why my soon-to-be-former* boyfriend hates winter.

GoTzMaDsKiTTLez · 2012-11-13T02:43:20+00:00

Why are you dating Shaggy?

GroupW_Bench · 2012-11-13T02:49:19+00:00

Guys, just fart on her every time she does this. You can even act like you're still asleep. It'll be like pavlov's dog.

infinitee775 · 2012-11-13T03:56:17+00:00

because his girlfriend wears pajama bottoms to bed? no more easy access...

Tyranichomp · 2012-11-13T05:31:45+00:00

What kind of cynical bitch are you? That's a horrible thing to do

MasterZeos · 2012-11-13T07:13:38+00:00

My wife waits until just after I fall asleep & does this randomly. I think she's just trying to shock me to death

anchises868 · 2012-11-13T07:15:19+00:00

I told my ex that her feet were cold at night because she kept them so close to her cold, black heart.

Hellscreamgold · 2012-11-12T16:01:44+00:00

Another title for this post...

"Why girls get punched in the face"

Super_Buu · 2012-11-12T12:44:50+00:00

Then I turn around and kick her out of bed

Nyrb · 2012-11-12T14:19:58+00:00

You bitch.

MadAtYourParents · 2012-11-12T15:03:18+00:00

As a boyfriend, that's fucked up. 0/10 Would not date

Sandman1031 · 2012-11-12T14:21:07+00:00

I used to torture my brother like that. I'd hold my feet on the vent, in the middle of summer, while the A/C was on full blast. Hold it there for 15 minutes, then put my foot on his back while he was playing video games.

jrzang89 · 2012-11-12T17:22:36+00:00

i'd fuck those feet

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

MODERATORS

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login