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1402
1403

For the love of god don't name your 3DS Carl. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by dragotheblackrose

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[–]smgeier 587 points588 points ago

Your Nintendo 3DS will never threaten to stab you, and in fact, cannot speak.

[–]Studentpilot172 360 points361 points ago

In the event that the Nintendo 3DS does speak, Nintendo of America urges you to disregard its advice.

[–]TheOccasionalTachyon 44 points45 points ago

You euthanized your faithful Nintendo 3DS more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.

[–]Skeleboar 30 points31 points ago

In the event of rogue 3DS

  1. Stand still
  2. Remain Calm
  3. Scream:

"THIS STATEMENT IS FALSE!"

"NEW MISSION: REFUSE THIS MISSION!"

"DOES A SET OF ALL SETS CONTAIN ITSELF?"

[–]crackodactyl 16 points17 points ago

Its starting to say things while I sleep, I wake up sometimes and I hear it chatting with my xbox. I am scared and I think it is going to attack at any mom....EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE, KEEP PLAYING YOUR GAMES

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]iEpic 145 points146 points ago

    All Aperture Science Nintendo products can stand temperatures up to 3000 degrees Kelvin.

    [–]wafflebunny 189 points190 points ago

    3000 Kelvin

    FTFY

    [–]Deltaway 88 points89 points ago

    All aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin [sic].

    Portal got it wrong too.

    [–]KeeseSlayer 42 points43 points ago

    So as I am science retarded, am I correct in assuming that Kelvin does not require degrees?

    [–]Deltaway 73 points74 points ago

    That is correct. You say 4000 kelvins, instead of 4000 degrees Kelvin. (The greatest honor for a scientist or mathematician is to have their name minisculized.) It's not like anyone will be confused about what you're saying either way; they might just be critical at you on the internet.

    [–]covertwalrus 49 points50 points ago

    In other words, Anders Celsius and Daniel G. Fahrenheit can both suck it.

    [–]Deltaway 25 points26 points ago

    I mean, their competition was William Thomson, The First Baron Kelvin, Order of Merit, Royal Victorian Order, Her Majesty's Most Honorable Privy Council, and President of the Royal Society.

    [–]slickmcghee 9 points10 points ago

    A title so long it could only be matched by the length of his penis.

    [–]SoloWing1 10 points11 points ago

    You probably need THREE 3DS's to make an penis cover big enough.

    [–]nicholaslaux 12 points13 points ago

    What does "minisculized" mean?

    [–]Deltaway 22 points23 points ago

    To make lowercase.

    [–]Notsoseriousone 9 points10 points ago

    Specifically here it also means to be made into an actual unit of measurement.

    [–]Deltaway 4 points5 points ago

    Yeah, but there are other examples that don't fall into that category, like "abelian".

    [–]nicholaslaux 3 points4 points ago

    Ah, gotcha. Thanks. :)

    [–]YouListening 3 points4 points ago

    To make lowercase. As in, the name becomes a unit, not a qualification for the unit (as in degrees Fahrenheit).

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]TheLeMoNjUiCe191 4 points5 points ago

      Of course Kelvin doesn't need a degree, as long as he works and doesn't get anyone pregnant.

      [–]readonlyuser 4 points5 points ago

      Kelvin is doing fine at a part-time job and going to college would just be a waste of money.

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]vitiminV 15 points16 points ago

        Noob question- this has puzzled me for the longest time. What does FTFY mean?

        [–]dissenting_dentist 23 points24 points ago

        fixed that for you

        [–]vitiminV 8 points9 points ago

        Thank yo very much :)

        [–]NoSirThatsPaper 42 points43 points ago

        Thank you very much

        FTFY :)

        [–]vitiminV 11 points12 points ago

        Touché my good sir.

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]TheEdes 6 points7 points ago

          fixed that, fuck you!

          ftfy

          [–]WaterChestnut3 14 points15 points ago

          Fuck this, fuck you

          FTFY

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                [–]lilQQ 5 points6 points ago

                As a Nintendo 3DS owner I can confirm this.

                [–]HigherFive 20 points21 points ago

                As a Nintendo 3DS, I can confirm this.

                [–]Zomgalama 9 points10 points ago

                As a Nintendo 3DS owner, still waiting for news on "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past" remake :(

                [–]SheeEttin 2 points3 points ago

                As a Nintendo, I can confirm this.

                [–]gAlienLifeform 1 point2 points ago

                As a 3D, I can confirm this.

                [–]JTyler82 7 points8 points ago

                I only own a DS Lite, I am too poor to confirm this

                [–]Ixidane 1 point2 points ago

                As a , I can confirm this.

                load more comments (1 reply)

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                    [–]Elchidote -1 points0 points ago

                    Yeah, fuck this!!! I'm naming my 3DS Carl!

                    [–]ApertureSubject 0 points1 point ago

                    In the event that your Nintendo 3DS does speak, please locate a Nintendo associate.

                    [–]EvoEpitaph 0 points1 point ago

                    Nice try Nintendo 3DS

                    [–]MisterHandagote 0 points1 point ago

                    Your Nintendo 3DS will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.

                    ftfy

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–]tatersalad911 282 points283 points ago

                      If you name it Carl, it'll never stay in your goddamn house.

                      [–]eyesonherhorizon 104 points105 points ago

                      If you name it Carl, it may shoot your Wii every time it ejects a disc.

                      [–]Aeleas 22 points23 points ago

                      It will never follow the damn train, though.

                      [–]Jespoir 7 points8 points ago

                      Ha! nice.

                      [–]1337and0 47 points48 points ago

                      Or stab you 37 times in the chest, then eat your hands.

                      [–]Forristal 18 points19 points ago

                      CCAAAARLLL! That kills people!

                      [–]KingToasty 11 points12 points ago

                      Shhhh, you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.

                      [–]spartaninspace 3 points4 points ago

                      That's the sound of people dying, Carl.

                      [–]KingToasty 2 points3 points ago

                      That's what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

                      [–]GolfingGator 31 points32 points ago

                      It will shoot your wife in the head after she gives birth to your kid.

                      [–]Adolpheappia 15 points16 points ago

                      Not in the comic it wont!

                      [–]cerealb0x 16 points17 points ago

                      in the comic, it would execute psychopathic children

                      [–]I_PUNCH_BUTTS 8 points9 points ago

                      It will shoot your wife in the head after she gives birth to another man's kid.

                      FTFY

                      [–]darthjoey91 0 points1 point ago

                      Suddenly not sure if supposed to be happy.

                      [–]mobomelter 10 points11 points ago

                      Came here to see who would say this first. Fucking Carl won't stay put.

                      [–]AceofSpad3s 2 points3 points ago

                      I would find it more fitting by say it would never stay in its case but saying house will suffice.

                      [–]SoloWing1 2 points3 points ago

                      If you name it Carl is will be a very bad 3DS till it gets hit by a car after winning the lottery and then start following Karma as a religion.

                      EDIT: Fuck I derped. The Reference is for the name Earl.

                      [–]n1c0_ds 1 point2 points ago

                      For a second i thought you were talking about the redditor whose emu named Carl ran away.

                      load more comments (7 replies)

                        [–]ColdFalcon 85 points86 points ago

                        the "Do Not Marry" is a serious concern in some places.

                        [–]IamRem 32 points33 points ago

                        Yes, indeed it is.

                        [–]enolan211 23 points24 points ago

                        Dr. Krieger?

                        [–]TheEdes 14 points15 points ago

                        You do know that was a viral advertising campaign, right?

                        don't talk shit about mai waifu

                        [–]Bishopkilljoy 7 points8 points ago

                        I um.....I don't......but....WHAT????

                        [–]Dr_Explosion 26 points27 points ago

                        Basically, Japan.

                        [–]Volvagia356 1 point2 points ago

                        There's now a sequel for the 3DS

                        load more comments (8 replies)

                          [–]euyis 0 points1 point ago

                          I assume you mean this?

                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LovePlus

                          [–]protege97 153 points154 points ago

                          How has no one commented on using a 3DS for a penis cover?

                          [–]Coolstorylucas 140 points141 points ago

                          Because we thought everyone has done this.

                          [–]protege97 57 points58 points ago

                          well i hope you cleaned it after giving it to your black friend

                          [–]Ted417 13 points14 points ago

                          I didn't ;)

                          [–]KingToasty 7 points8 points ago

                          But he might get pregnant!

                          [–]I_am_not_a_black_guy 55 points56 points ago

                          sup

                          [–]Kongo204 14 points15 points ago

                          You would only use one huh?

                          [–]Aaron252016 1 point2 points ago

                          Redditer for 6 months. hmm

                          load more comments (3 replies)

                            [–]Burglar1 51 points52 points ago

                            caaaaaaaaaaarl!

                            [–]DomoInMySoup 38 points39 points ago

                            Ok for reference interest, when you say Carl, do you also think of The Walking Dead like most other people here? Because when I say Carl I think of the awkward ginger boy from Jimmy Neutron and having it yelled out by the teacher in her little bird squawking voice.

                            [–]theclumsyninja 55 points56 points ago

                            what I thought of

                            [–]SergeantSkittles 24 points25 points ago

                            My tummy was making the rumblies that only hands could satsify

                            [–]fearofthesky 7 points8 points ago

                            I do not kill people! That is...that is one of my least favourite things to do!

                            [–]barpidone 22 points23 points ago

                            The only Carl I think of.

                            [–]bygrace-faith 20 points21 points ago

                            I believe he is referring to Llamas with Hats. It's on youtube.

                            [–]epoch_fail 4 points5 points ago

                            "Llamapalooza! Llamapalooza! Llamapalooza!" (- Carl from Jimmy Neutron)

                            [–]norealpurposehere2 3 points4 points ago

                            I thought of Llamas with Hats.

                            CAAAAAAAAAAARL. That kills people.

                            load more comments (2 replies)

                              load more comments (1 reply)

                                [–]g0dspeed0ne 38 points39 points ago

                                But remember, you can do all of these with your DSi, except feed it after midnight. It'l get fat.

                                [–]undeadkoala 6 points7 points ago

                                or go into a pupil stage where it transforms in to hideous beast

                                [–]Sharrakor 25 points26 points ago

                                Pupal. A pupil is either a student or the hole in your eye through which light passes.

                                [–]Lupinefiasco 2 points3 points ago

                                "This isn't even my final form."

                                [–]Swerdman55 6 points7 points ago

                                That's where they get DSi XL from!

                                [–]dionvc 5 points6 points ago

                                Did you accidentally a word?

                                [–]I_r_redditmans 16 points17 points ago

                                Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

                                [–]Some_what99 39 points40 points ago

                                Dont let your black friend borrow it. Classic case of stereotyping

                                [–]ejxxx 44 points45 points ago

                                I know, right! Like a black guy would borrow something instead of just stealing it.

                                [–]Destator 3 points4 points ago

                                One of those rare cases where the stereotyping is a compliment.

                                [–]Dartimien 2 points3 points ago

                                Depending on how you look at it, it really isn't. "Positive" stereotypes are still quite damaging.

                                [–]bossyman15 4 points5 points ago

                                why? He could use it as penis cover!

                                [–]Kodiak_Cartel 5 points6 points ago

                                Reminds me of THIS classic from a couple of years ago.

                                "Take off your freaking pink shirt. You look like a douche."

                                Also,

                                "What the hell are you doing? Stop it."

                                [–]tanzorbarbarian 7 points8 points ago

                                You're not supposed to marry it, but nothing is said about procreation......

                                Oh god, what has the internet done to me?

                                [–]OphanTheHateEater 4 points5 points ago

                                It's not a dick cover. Nice try though.

                                [–]plutPWNium 3 points4 points ago

                                At the last panel I turned around to see my 3DS charging cradle empty. I put it there to charge and have not moved it since I went to bed las

                                [–]ejeebs 5 points6 points ago

                                At least it had the decency to click the Submit button for you.

                                [–]Renegadeboy 3 points4 points ago

                                I'm glad you could press enter before it got you.

                                [–]LaxCrosse007 4 points5 points ago

                                I'm glad to know my habit of feeding my DS at around 6:00 pm is not a problem

                                [–]ACiDGRiM 3 points4 points ago

                                That's still after midnight.

                                [–]tanjoodo 3 points4 points ago

                                No, it's before midnight... Holy shit!

                                [–]TheMightyBarbarian 4 points5 points ago

                                Am I the only one concerned that Nintendo has admitted their 3DS is sentient and highly violent and can wield weaponry without the need for arms.

                                [–]legendarybilf 5 points6 points ago

                                Nah, they all do that. Last night my 360 killed my social life just as I was getting ready to go out..

                                [–]Bruce_Millis 1 point2 points ago

                                If you name it Carl, it will never be in the house.

                                [–]dark_soul2 2 points3 points ago

                                Dammit, I already let my black friend use it as a penis cover.

                                [–]SettleDownMyBabies 3 points4 points ago

                                Can we at least name it Karl?

                                [–]EvilHom3r 3 points4 points ago

                                Source.

                                [–]homercles337 2 points3 points ago

                                Why is this funny?

                                [–]highchaos 0 points1 point ago

                                Don't worry, I won't be lending mine out for penis covers.

                                [–]Ninjapork 0 points1 point ago

                                I take offence to the Carl panel.

                                [–]xCurlyQ 1 point2 points ago

                                Can I name it Steve?

                                [–]mgd40 1 point2 points ago

                                "Caaaaaarl!"

                                [–]stonespiral 1 point2 points ago

                                Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball.

                                [–]SirAlphonse 0 points1 point ago

                                using it as a coaster, is the only way mine gets some action.

                                [–]the_nerdster 0 points1 point ago

                                It's because it would never stay where you put it, obviously.

                                [–]K0d1 0 points1 point ago

                                Could we name it Carlos, but call it Carl for short? "Hello, my name is Carlos(but you can call me Carl)"

                                [–]Arc_Tech 1 point2 points ago

                                But... my back is turned to it right n

                                [–]manuel_robot_cleaner -1 points0 points ago

                                It will NEVER stay in that fucking house...

                                [–]Cypress85 0 points1 point ago

                                If you name it Carl, it will never be in your house.

                                [–]bleu_gascon 1 point2 points ago

                                Probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen, gave me a good chuckle. Haha.

                                [–]jadman22 0 points1 point ago

                                ...I named my first DS Carl.

                                I guess I dodged a bullet there.

                                [–]Ddannyboy 0 points1 point ago

                                Can someone please explain the Carl reference, and why it means it won't stay in the house?

                                [–]jenchan13 -1 points0 points ago

                                Good advice. If you name it Carl it will never be in your god damn house.

                                [–]gantzphere 0 points1 point ago

                                I just got my 3DS last night and I must say that it is one heavy motherfucker.

                                [–]LivingSaladDays 0 points1 point ago

                                OP generally when posting comics it's a good thing to post the source.

                                [–]Toxikomania 0 points1 point ago

                                Now you are just ASKING me to name it Carl..

                                [–]necromundus -1 points0 points ago

                                One thing I've learned after years of dealing with consoles is that you can turn your back on a console, but never turn your back on a 3DS. Especially when it's waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye.

                                [–]oozles 0 points1 point ago

                                I actually name a lot of gaming related things Carl. My PS3 is Carl because its black, and my Wii is Lenny because, you know.

                                [–]BrutallyEffective 0 points1 point ago

                                Everyone else can name their 3DSs, only Carls can't. The rule was personally addressed to Carl.

                                [–]BillyB-sack 0 points1 point ago

                                it was funny up until that last panel, now I'm worried

                                [–]Glass-of-Water 0 points1 point ago

                                I had a rogue in Rift named Carl. He was a saboteur bomb-throwing dwarf, and he looked like a Carl.

                                He was too much Carl for the devs, and they nerfed Sabs because of him. Do not name anything you hold precious Carl.

                                [–]zeroGamer -1 points0 points ago

                                I only clicked the link to find out if you shouldn't name your 3DS Carl, or if Carl shouldn't name his 3DS. The potential that the title was improperly punctuated was too much for me to bear.

                                [–]miseryisnotdead 0 points1 point ago

                                I've named my DS Lite Carlos. Now I'm feeling like I just barely dodged a major bullet here.

                                [–]Arowin 1 point2 points ago

                                FWIW - original: http://www.duelinganalogs.com/comic/nintendo-3ds-safety-manual/

                                [–]Twinkling82 0 points1 point ago

                                LOL, the penis cover and never turn your back on it is more fun! :p

                                [–]Evildead818 0 points1 point ago

                                [Controversial Humor] Cell

                                [–]srincreible 0 points1 point ago

                                If we learn anything from the walking dead, its that the name carl means he'll grow up, never find shelter or get in the house when you tell him too, and shoot his mom. Never name anything carl.

                                [–]mcqtom 0 points1 point ago

                                Hello Carl. I too, am Carl. And this is my son, Carl Jr. We are all Carls.

                                [–]Carlthefox 0 points1 point ago

                                The name Carl is best reserved for Vulpes' such as myself.

                                [–]TheyKeepOnRising 0 points1 point ago

                                I am a 3DS and can confirm Carl is a bad name.

                                [–]THE_GR8_MIKE 0 points1 point ago

                                Do not let your black friend borrow your 3DS. I lost it.

                                [–]Nathaniel_Higgers 1 point2 points ago

                                Chicken sandwich, Carl.

                                [–]newtoschool 1 point2 points ago

                                Am I the only one clueless what's going on in the marriage photo? I see the ring, but it looks like the dood's wearing a cape, has 3 knobby spheres on his face and is resting his head on the DS ~_O

                                [–]eL1X3r 0 points1 point ago

                                A) I'm assuming it turns into a Game Gear if you feed it after midnight?

                                2) Lenny is the only one allowed to name it Carl.

                                [–]thekrustykrab 0 points1 point ago

                                The last two seriously can't be in the manual...

                                [–]bigtaterman 0 points1 point ago

                                If you name it Carl, your entire group will be eaten by zombies.

                                [–]naxter48 0 points1 point ago

                                Whatever you do, don't blink!

                                [–]AllAboutGamers 0 points1 point ago

                                If you named it Carl you'd never be able to find it and its mom would be the stupidest most annoying bitch to have ever existed that should have died in season 1.

                                [–]_Wolfos 0 points1 point ago

                                If this were made by Nintendo, it would've been a 20 page instruction manual showing how to open your 3DS, with a sensor that doesn't allow you to play unless you've read it all.

                                [–]TheNordguy 0 points1 point ago

                                "...but if you feed it before midnight, its ok"

                                [–]intlyouday 0 points1 point ago

                                Carl's never in the fucking house.

                                [–]4ofclubs 1 point2 points ago

                                Is anyone else bothered by the different perspectives used in the first panel?

                                [–]JTyler82 1 point2 points ago

                                Can you watch Carl? He's in the house charging

                                [–]pickupnote 0 points1 point ago

                                Nintendo 3DS = White

                                Carl = Black

                                [–]CaptainTerra 1 point2 points ago

                                For a second I thought this was a joke from Nintendo, but then I saw the penis cover.

                                [–]Vetalurg 1 point2 points ago

                                I lost it at penis covering

                                [–]trollingisfun 0 points1 point ago

                                can't marry your 3ds? wtf?

                                my love plus!!!!!!!!

                                [–]Kbman 0 points1 point ago

                                You know what I find most weird about this is that, if I can't feed my 3DS after midnight it will probably starve since it's always after midnight...

                                [–]insaneacorn 1 point2 points ago

                                Hot Carl!

                                [–]theshrooponodon 0 points1 point ago

                                I give human names to all of my electronics. Anything with a legit hard drive, or that operates as the main device in a network of smaller devices gets a female name, anything secondary that includes memory storage (USB devices, mostly) gets a male name. My laptop's name is Penelope, external is Mary Jane, I've got flash drives named George and Harry.

                                I bring this up because it baffles me that anyone would name a female "Carl."

                                [–]JSimmo 0 points1 point ago

                                Oh that penis cover looks like an amazing idea.

                                [–]IronOxide42 0 points1 point ago

                                How about "Karl?"

                                [–]StoneColdCarl 0 points1 point ago

                                What the fuck is wrong with the name "Carl?" fight me.

                                [–]rtbonez 0 points1 point ago

                                Carl! ...I mean 3DS, stay inside the house with Lori!

                                [–]Karl_with_a_C 0 points1 point ago

                                My name is Carl and I do not approve this message.

                                [–]Otheus 0 points1 point ago

                                If you name your 3DS Carl it will never stay where you left it and often will wander out pf the house at the worst possible time.

                                [–]hahaha_best_response -1 points0 points ago

                                Silly poster, you don't lend black people your belongings.

                                [–]lwllw 0 points1 point ago

                                taunts Carl

                                [–]booyah719 0 points1 point ago

                                So........is Karl okay?

                                [–]Hecubah 0 points1 point ago

                                12:01 is not after midnight, it is after noon.

                                [–]Paparmane 0 points1 point ago

                                CARL STAY IN THE HOUSE GODDAMN

                                [–]Cingulomaniac 1 point2 points ago

                                My first thought

                                [–]BiggHass18 0 points1 point ago

                                Im a Carl

                                What does everyone have against us. Especially the black Carls?

                                [–]turtle_resident 0 points1 point ago

                                Another anti-cross-dimensional marriage bigot, I see.

                                [–]DreamingInDogYears 0 points1 point ago

                                This is gonna seem stupid, but please tell me all of these, all of these are in the manual.

                                [–]L-Ocelot 0 points1 point ago

                                In the event you do name your 3ds Carl. It will likely screw up repeatedly resulting in the deaths of friends and loved ones. Also be a mega bitch.

                                [–]Ryo95 0 points1 point ago

                                My name is Karl. I don't have a 3ds.

                                [–]Garrand 0 points1 point ago

                                Do not taunt your 3DS.

                                [–]essidus 0 points1 point ago

                                Source for those who didn't see the url on the pic.

                                [–]burntham77 0 points1 point ago

                                "Just don't do dat."

                                [–]Ronbo795 0 points1 point ago

                                Me and Carl will get married if we damn please, You're not the boss of us

                                [–]Valkyrie2200 0 points1 point ago

                                DO NOT LET YOUR BLACK FRIEND USE YOUR 3DS AS A PENIS COVER. DIED WITH LAUGHTER.

                                [–]fyrepony 0 points1 point ago

                                In event of encountering Nintendo 3DS, turn around and run.

                                [–]SelfImmolationsHell 0 points1 point ago

                                Now they tell me.

                                [–]TreekoKazak 0 points1 point ago

                                MY NAME IS CARL

                                [–]mikeeyboy22 0 points1 point ago

                                if you name it Carl you're never gonna know where it is. Even when you tell it to stay put.

                                [–]ToughBacon 0 points1 point ago

                                Should it not be called Carl because it will never stay in the house?

                                [–]DaGhost 0 points1 point ago

                                It was good until they made the racial joke

                                [–]doofinator 0 points1 point ago

                                Wait, but, but, but...

                                but, if you like it then you should've put a ring on it!

                                [–]khemical_pixel 0 points1 point ago

                                1337 upvotes? nice

                                [–]bobbyalfaro 0 points1 point ago

                                I thought Nintendo was trying to be funny and it was real until I saw the penis one

                                [–]IamWhite-n-Rich 0 points1 point ago

                                I like the Gremlins reference

                                load more comments (45 replies)

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