top 200 commentsshow all 346

[–]Trololrus 559 points560 points ago

noodle

glassy, jarred look

Brilliant.

[–]bastardfromabasket 451 points452 points ago

also "prego" and "saucy"

[–]skyman724 224 points225 points ago

Also, chunks.

(will there ever be a smooth tomato sauce that isn't ketchup?)

[–]empw 106 points107 points ago

Vegetative

[–]Deco456 14 points15 points ago

Tomatoes are fruit are they not?

[–]falco_brawler 47 points48 points ago

Botanically, yes; culinarily, no.

[–]cjhelms 0 points1 point ago

I think they (US Congress - who also recently classified pizza as a vegetable) said it was a vegetable because it was eaten during dinner, but I think they classified it as such because they tax vegetables at a different rate than fruit. I could be wrong, but it sounds plausible.

[–]sammew 7 points8 points ago

Actually:

A law was passed years ago that would tax vegetables but not fruit. Some guys selling or buying tomatoes, I forget which, didn't want to pay the tax, so the refused to pay it. When brought to court, they made the argument that since tomatoes are fruit, they shouldnt have to pay. The Supreme Court decided that since tomatoes, in common parlance of the time were considered vegetables, and the intent of the law was to tax tomatoes as a vegetable, that they had to pay the tax.

Then, a couple years ago, people took the decision way out of context and used it as an argument for the stupid pizza for lunch shit.

[–]cjhelms 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for the proper history. I knew it was something like that but was too lazy to look it up :)

[–]plasmacist 2 points3 points ago

Since pizza is a 'vegetable', public schools can serve it all the time and still qualify for federal funds because they serve 'healthy' meals.

[–]heracleides 2 points3 points ago

A delicious cheese pizza, just for me...

[–]biurb 0 points1 point ago

oh what, that's real life? I thought that was a joke post

[–]mexicancats 0 points1 point ago

I learned tomatoes are fruit cause they have seeds.. I dunno, learned it from my grade school teacher years go.

[–]heracleides 0 points1 point ago

Yes, roots/stems/flowers/leaves are vegetables while anything growing from a tree or has seeds is a fruit.

[–]souldust 0 points1 point ago

colorless and almost transparent

[–]adleong 156 points157 points ago

Yeah, it's called tomato sauce.

[–]anonym0ose 51 points52 points ago

also, the whole thing

[–]gonnalovetomorrow 26 points27 points ago

and "noodle," "transparent," "vegetative state."

[–]davidzlocker3 5 points6 points ago

Ragu is smooth.

[–]uhmerikin 17 points18 points ago

Fuck Ragu... Sorry, just my opinion.

[–]Eminems 14 points15 points ago

Isn't that what got OP in trouble the first time?

[–]black19 0 points1 point ago

Barilla, bitch

[–]Ieuan1996 0 points1 point ago

Prego.

[–]davidzlocker3 1 point2 points ago

I agree...but it was the only stuff I could afford for the longest time.

I always added my own veggies or spices when I could...then it wasn't so bad.

[–]uhmerikin 2 points3 points ago

Oh, that's all I ever had growing up. If we were having spaghetti or pasta of any kind, it was always drowned in Ragu... I just grew to despise it with every fiber of my being.

[–]punkminkis 1 point2 points ago

"Obviously, not on her period the Ragu"

[–]DeusCaelum 0 points1 point ago

Pizza Sauce, SO GOOD!

[–]mrteecanada1212 0 points1 point ago

Is there a word for this literary device? It is, essentially, foreshadowing, but with PUNS! PASTA SAUCE PUNS! Help me Reddit I MUST KNOW!

[–]segFault11235 0 points1 point ago

Just do your homework.

[–]JavaGiant865 5 points6 points ago

Try this for the best sauce you'll ever have:

  • Classico Fire roasted tomato sauce

  • Shit ton of garlic (I use about 2-3 tbsp. of the minced stuff)

  • A couple leaves or a tbsp of dried basil

  • 2 tsp of red chili pepper flakes

Blend the fuck out of it. Enjoy.

[–]bobsomebody99 1 point2 points ago

Needs more garlic.

[–]JavaGiant865 1 point2 points ago

You can never have too much garlic.

[–]theodrixx -1 points0 points ago

I wish people would stop cursing in their recipes. I think it became a thing after that annoying chili thing.

[–]AnticitizenPrime 1 point2 points ago

I like your style. I do something very similar, but I also slice up some Italian sausage and simmer it in that shit. Yum.

[–]COKeefe88 2 points3 points ago

Marinara?

[–]shitterplug 0 points1 point ago

Get chunky, heat on stove, put in blender.

[–]luiz127 0 points1 point ago

Passata is pretty smooth

[–]pauli_rearea 1 point2 points ago

i didnt even catch the prego reference until you mentioned it

[–]kellydean1 433 points434 points ago

Had me til the end. 10/10.

[–]bignotch 617 points618 points ago

Genius. This guy should win a medal.

It was even more funny when reading it a 2nd time.

[–]Bogey_Kingston 235 points236 points ago

The second read goes a bit like this

[–]boomb0x 59 points60 points ago

That has got to be the exact face I just made reading through for the second time. Bravo, OP.

[–]SamZR 79 points80 points ago

[–]kim05ab3 2 points3 points ago

The guy should've linked to your original post.

[–]ToyStory2WasOK311 33 points34 points ago

Shameless reposting of OC THE DAY IT WAS POSTED ON REDDIT will never end will it...

[–]Derekristow 28 points29 points ago

Check them again side by side.

1.

2.

It's two completely different screenshot of the same thing. The original post was just that good.

Edit: Even better, the guy in /r/4chan is actually the guy who wrote the thing. There's no way that these are from the same person.

[–]EricThePooh 1 point2 points ago

Only an hour apart too. I can believe this wasn't an intentional repost.

[–]CertifiedStudMuffin 0 points1 point ago

One of the most rewarding payouts ever.

[–]NLDcerex 338 points339 points ago

Shit title, amazing post.

[–]notsafeforviewing[S] 50 points51 points ago

Sorry, titles have never really been my strong suit.

[–]futurelibrarian 124 points125 points ago

It is surprising that Reddit talks shit about 4chan and then picks up all the worst aspects of 4chan. Like "OP is a faggot". I don't understand the thought process involved.

[–]SansGray 53 points54 points ago

Reddit and 4chan share a rather large viewer base.

[–]original_evanator 47 points48 points ago

screw you i'm big boned

[–]FutonSpecOps 1 point2 points ago

So it's easier to generalize them.

[–]Hysterium 13 points14 points ago

Seriously. I know people think it's all in good fun, but the "OP is a faggot" thing can be damn hurtful.

Source: I'm gay.

[–]Eal12333 15 points16 points ago

Op is a bundle of sticks

[–]nerdyjoe 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry this hurts you. When I say such things, which I rarely do, I never mean them in an offensive way. I don't consider gays to be faggots, even though at some points in time and space, the two meant the same thing. "Gays" are generally happy people who happen to be attracted to members of the same sex. "Faggots" are people who intentionally manipulate others for personal pleasure, and to cause others pain. Take this, it'll make you feel better:

hug

[–]Dissentcon 0 points1 point ago

Unfortunately, that doesn't really make any difference at all. It doesn't matter if you use a hateful slur and "mean something different", the person you are calling a faggot doesn't know that and neither does anyone else who sees it.

They just see you using the same term people yell when beating the shit out of a gay guy in the street, the go-to term for when people want to let you know that being gay is a shitty thing to be.

[–]PedoJones 1 point2 points ago

And so god damn annoying. It's just a bunch of neck beards desperately trying to be cool by saying "OP is a faggot" which results in a chain of posts saying the exact same thing and eventually it triggers a "spidey thread," just please shut the hell up.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DanTheMan-WithAPlan 33 points34 points ago

Except for all the images that usually get posted about how much op likes sucking dicks...

[–]FarmerTedd 13 points14 points ago

[–]theshedasaurus 21 points22 points ago

I used to think the same thing until I realized that it must be terrible to hear one of your main traits being spoken solely to convey displeasure for your entire life.

[–]Vystek 3 points4 points ago

This is the dimmest comment I've seen on Reddit all week

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]loansindi 11 points12 points ago

"It's okay, I have gay friends."

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

That's the stupidest argument and you should know better. "My gay friend doesn't care so it's okay". Well, I'm gay, and I care. Does that void it? The point is that calling someone a faggot as an insult is homophobic period. You shouldn't even be trying to argue against this. Just stop using it. Is it really THAT necessary for you to use it? Why can't you just be considerate of someone else's feelings. Gay people feel marginalized enough in this world.

[–]The_Doctor_Bear 4 points5 points ago

I wanted to say "go climb a wall of dicks!" But then I imagined how I would feel if someone told me to go climb a wall of pussy and I laughed so hard I dropped my phone and undid the text of the comment.

Tl;dr straightifying "homophobic" insults is hilarious.

[–]Rickroll_Everything -1 points0 points ago

There was a great little quote about JFK saying nigger over and over again to everyone.

[–]TimonBerkowitz -2 points-1 points ago

Thank you straight guy for telling gay people what terms are and aren't hurtful to them.

[–]Nonbeing 1 point2 points ago

I can't speak for anyone else, but some of us think stuff like that is funny while simultaneously not having a single homophobic bone in our bodies. The contradiction is difficult to explain. The best way to put it is this, I think: when I laugh at words and ideas that are hurtful or negative, I'm not laughing with the words, I'm laughing at them. It's a principle similar to satire. Like when a character portrays a racist or homophobe or some other awful type of person, and the person playing the character knows how to make the character seem foolish and ridiculous. You're not on the character's side; you are laughing at him and looking down on him.

Another aspect is the hyperbole involved. Exaggeration is a key component in a lot of humor. You take something way, way over the line, into an area that's absurd for the situation. Absurdity, much like pain, breeds comedy - with the proper treatment and delivery, of course.

Context and delivery are so crucial - there is a thin line between really good satirical humor, and just plain discrimination or bullying. One guideline that helps is to always make sure you are not actually victimizing another person; if you are targeting someone else, make sure they are in on the joke, at least theoretically, so you are all laughing together. Note: this rule is more flexible when you are mocking someone with more status or authority than you, since "speaking truth to power" gives you more leeway. Not a license to be an asshole, per se, but more wiggle room.

That's still a pretty poor explanation, but please trust me, I am a strong supporter of LGBT rights, and I still think it's funny when someone, in the right context, uses "OP was not a faggot", etc.

[–]Hysterium 3 points4 points ago

Thank you for trying to explain your viewpoint. Let me try to explain mine.

I grew up in fear. I always knew I was 'different', but I wasn't sure why. Kids started calling me 'gay' a lot in middle school, and even my close friends throughout high school would occasionally drop phrases like "don't be such a fag, dude."

Faggot. Faggot that was the word that scared me the most. "What are you, a faggot?" "I fucking hate faggots, they should burn in hell." "If you act like a faggot, you're probably a faggot, and I like to shoot faggots."

It scared me. A lot. Because deep down, I knew it was true. And these kids would really, truly hurt me if they knew it was true. I liked boys, and for that, I deserved to die. So I spent years scared about being beaten and suicidal because I was too frightened to ever be myself. Any part of my personality that was notably "faggotty" I toned down until the insults and the threats got less frequent. And then eventually, mostly stopped.

To this day, I have a lot of trouble admitting that I'm gay, simply because an irrational part of me thinks that I will still get beat up because of it.

So, I understand why you think that "OP is a faggot" is funny. But until equality is a reality, until a kid can realize he or she is gay and not spend most of their childhood in fear, I don't think you can say "this person sucks and is gay" in the same sentence and assume it's not hurtful. Look, it's not me I'm thinking of. It's the twelve-year-old who just figured out he's gay, and also just found out about this cool site called reddit. And he clicked on a funny link! And the first thirty comments are about how OP is a faggot and how that sucks and is terrible.

And then that kid cries.

Once the LGBT suicide rate is a little less ridiculously high, then you can come and talk to me about how it's fine to use slurs.

[–]Nonbeing 1 point2 points ago

I'm very sorry for what you went through. I think the people who treated you that way are disgusting human beings, and I would never defend what they did.

I'd like to respond again and try to clarify myself, not because I expect you to agree with me (I don't), but just because I enjoy a good intellectual discussion/debate, and I like both enlightening people about my own side of an issue, and trying to understand theirs.

I was thinking about my first response, and there was one point I don't think I emphasized enough: hyperbole. See, to me the word "faggot" is a very bad word, and it's a very bad word for precisely the same reason you think it is: because it hurts people. I don't think there is a single thing wrong with being gay, so when I laugh at the use of the word "faggot", it's not because I'm laughing at someone being gay, it's because I'm laughing at the word itself.

Remember how I was talking about exaggeration? When someone overreacts radically to the situation at hand, that can often be a source of comedy (again, if the delivery is right). It's precisely because "faggot" is such a bad, hurtful term that calling someone a "faggot" for merely posting a simple picture or message on an internet forum is a severe overreaction. And that's what I'm laughing at: the overreaction. Not you or anyone else being gay.

I know that's a fine distinction that will be lost on many people, including the hypothetical 12 year old you mentioned... but I would argue that a) just because some people don't understand the proper meaning and context of a joke doesn't mean the joke is actually bad, and b) reddit is kind of an adult website, and I don't think 12 year olds belong here. I wouldn't ever try to defend "OP is a fag" on a children's website, or even a teenager's website. But children seeing things they shouldn't on the internet is a different topic of discussion for another time.

My final point is this: not all people will find all humor funny. And that's okay. I don't ever expect you or any other gay person who was bullied during their childhood to find "faggot" funny. There is just too much pain attached to it, and you are (probably) never going to see past that pain. But, in my opinion, I don't think that means that no one else should be allowed to use that humor or find it funny... and I don't think the people who do understand the comedy (without the pain attached) are bad people.

P.S. Just to make it abundantly clear in case I did not already, I do not support or condone direct bullying or discrimination of any kind. To me, using any slur just to hurt another person is not in any way funny. And not just because it's wrong to discriminate against people, but also because it's just bad comedy. It's just inherently not funny.

[–]Hysterium 3 points4 points ago

Thank you again, for your thoughtful post. Trust me, I'm all for freedom of speech and hyperbole in comedy (This Comedy Bang Bang clip is in my opinion the funniest thing ever recorded). You are clearly coming not from a place of hatred when laughing at the use of the word. However, a whole lot of people are just associating gayness with shittyness when using that meme, and it is the propagation of that attitude that is most harmful.

I live in L.A., a very liberal and open-minded city. Earlier this year I was in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream that happened to feature a gag where Lysander and Demetrius, attempting to kiss Helena, both miss and kiss each other on the lips instead. It was a funny bit and always got a huge laugh. When we would perform the show for children, however, the response was often largely disgust. Show after show, cries of "Gross," "that's just wrong," and "eeeeeeeewwww" would be heard coming from the kids. My point being, even in this supposedly enlightened part of the world, the reaction to two men kissing was overwhelmingly disgust and negativity. I'm not blaming them - they're kids. They can't help their reaction. But the gay kids who were inevitably also part of our audiences? Those are the ones I worry about. I bet hearing that disgust at a harmless little kiss made them even more frightened to be honest with their friends and family about themselves, just like the bullying I was subject to did to me.

Yes, hyperbole can be very funny, and yes, you do not intend to use the word hatefully. But until the gay suicide rate isn't so much higher than the average, until kids can safely come out of the closet to their parents without fear of being abandoned or disowned, and especially until the word "faggot" is not used regularly to threaten and lessen homosexuals, is the silly joke really still worth it?

Do you think "OP is a nigger" would be just as funny? I don't. I hesitated to even type it, because that word has so much hate and negativity attached to it.

We can't control what words do and don't have hatred associated with them. What we can do is try and not spread that hatred ourselves, especially if it's for a joke that could be made with any number of other words.

Thanks again for being so thoughtful. I only write this because you seem so willing to think about how you use the word, and I think I could change your mind about it. You don't seem like a hateful person, but whether or not you want it to be, using that word is a hateful thing.

[–]Nonbeing 1 point2 points ago

I appreciate your thoughtful and civil response. I enjoy this kind of dialogue and I think having it helps to further both our goals of mutual understanding and acceptance.

You are correct, I am not coming from a hateful place at all. I truly want humor to be something we share "all in good fun" as you put it earlier - even when that humor touches upon painful subjects.

In fact, I think humor is one of the best ways to unravel and defuse painful issues (once again, with the appropriate context, delivery, timing, etc). But I also understand that for some people, some things are just too painful to laugh at (a point upon which I elaborated in my above comment). My hope is that one day people who have felt that pain can come around, and laugh at that which once caused them such grief - hence diminishing it and holding power over it.

I don't at all mean to suggest that doing so is as easy as reading a stupid internet comment and suddenly transforming. But it's a goal I'd love to see realized.

You are probably right about "OP is a faggot" - it's a pretty trivial and pointless joke, and even if it's meant in good humor, it's not a very good joke, and it's a bad example that I shouldn't have even used in the first place. It's not worth kids killing themselves over, I agree. But I still stand by my more general opinion that these harmful words can't be completely off limits in comedy. I'm an avid proponent of free speech and all it entails, and I also believe very strongly that nothing is sacred or off limits when it comes to humor.

Sometimes, when the words are as harmful as "faggot" and "nigger", it takes a master craftsman such as Louis CK to make them truly funny to a general audience (he has genuinely funny jokes about both words, and there is no hate at all in them). With his talent he has found a way to really strip the power from these words, which is again one of the ultimate goals of this type of comedy. But not everyone on the internet is as intelligent, thoughtful, or careful as Louis CK...

As for the people who do mean to use these words in a hateful or oppressive way, I was never trying to defend them. I've just never been a fan of censoring everyone because some people are assholes.

I think you and I generally want the same thing, we just disagree on how to get there, or what may be acceptable along the way. You have indeed helped me see from your perspective, and I appreciate that.

[–]Hysterium 2 points3 points ago

Awesome! I was happy to have this dialog as well.

Oh, and by the way, Louis CK has pretty much stopped using "faggot" in his act. Not that that proves anything, but he does consider the wonderful poker scene from Louie (even though the etymology of the word as presented in the scene is disingenuous) to be his final say on using the word.

From his AMA: "I was playing with some fire. It was interesting. I think that the discussion of the word faggot that I did in the poker scene was a bit of an evolution. I pretty much never say faggot on stage anymore. It's just worked it's way into and out of my act. It's not interesting anyomre and i"m not goign to say it just to say it."

[–]CRRZ -2 points-1 points ago

Gay? What's that got to do with anything? A faggot is somebody that rides a motorcycle with loud pipes.

[–]ElGoddamnDorado 5 points6 points ago

Where is this shit talking about 4chan I keep hearing about? Honest question. Pretty much anytime I see 4chan mentioned here people are saying how much better/funnier it is, how much smarter its community is, etc. It seems like the only time I don't it's a "Despite how much reddit bashes 4chan, ______________" type comment.

I mean seriously, it feels like I'm missing a joke here. I thought the agreed upon consensus was that reddit loves to circlejerk about how much better 4chan is than them. I've seen just "4chan is where smart people go to act dumb. Reddit is where dumb people go to act smart." commented posted 4-5 times by itself and a couple of them nearing or even exceeding 1000 karma, whereas a comment bashing 4chan is lucky to even maintain a positive score.

[–]ryumast3r 0 points1 point ago

4chan has a lot more content. Some of it is a lot better than Reddit's, however, you have to travel through that much more shit to get to them.

[–]dssdassw -1 points0 points ago

And the content comes in so fucking fast on /b/ it isn't funny, I can't even scroll halfway down and refresh w/o a flood of new things coming.

[–]Derekristow 1 point2 points ago

Check out /r/4chan for an idea of what people generally consider to be the best of the site. In general, they produce a huge amount of OC with sometimes high quality, but there are no limits on what is acceptable to post (on /b/, at any rate). As long as it isn't child pornography, no one will care. It's also known that not a single person on the site is being serious, which is probably where the "smart people go to act dumb" comes from.

tl;dr: /b/ is the origin of a ton of good content, but it's absurdly bigoted and nobody over there really cares.

[–]AuRinBei 1 point2 points ago

It's gotten so bad lately too. I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I don't go to /b/ for a reason.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Quit using "OP is a faggot" or a variation of it and you'll be fine.

[–]NLDcerex 5 points6 points ago

You'll get better at it.

[–]IsThisAmerica 0 points1 point ago

If you had ever been to 4chan on /b then this title would be appropriate.

[–]Beedip 131 points132 points ago

Reposted only 1 hour after original poster...

http://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/12xsco/gf_is_prego/

[–]Break_Yoself_Foo 122 points123 points ago

Today, OP WAS a faggot.

[–]Crim91 25 points26 points ago

Not cool OP.

Not cool.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 7 points8 points ago

Dammit OP, I had such high hopes for you

[–]LittleCucumber 0 points1 point ago

I mean, does it matter? Not everyone is subscribed to /r/4chan

[–]FalconX2 66 points67 points ago

[–]Opherian_Neyresth 12 points13 points ago

''I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you.'' Took me a few seconds.

[–]wearsapurpleascot 0 points1 point ago

saving this one

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lethargicwalrus 32 points33 points ago

There was quite the discussion about this on the tomato post today.

TL;DR tomatoes go both ways.

[–]NLDcerex 27 points28 points ago

For those too lazy to click; fruit is a term used in botany and vegetable is a term used in cooking. Tomatoes qualify as both.

[–]A7X4REVer 8 points9 points ago

Aaahaha like a bisexual

[–]husker_ 2 points3 points ago

[–]Sobertese -1 points0 points ago

Making the tomato father of all fruit.

[–]V1bration 31 points32 points ago

This was JUST posted as OC by the OP.

Today, OP was a faggot.

[–]LinT5292 3 points4 points ago

It's a different screenshot, with a different time listed. So it is entirely possible that he didn't even know it was posted the first time.

[–]InfestedNerd 26 points27 points ago

Downvoted for being a Karma whore. Repost from /r/4chan

[–]ryumast3r 3 points4 points ago

Different screenshot.

[–]ikancast 3 points4 points ago

I don't know why I questioned how quickly it made its way here by a different person entirely.

[–]Kanye_Westicles 14 points15 points ago

Correction, OP. You stole it from this guy. You're most certainly a faggot.

[–]mayo_is_a_instrument 6 points7 points ago

I too browse r/4chan OP.

[–]johnly13 4 points5 points ago

There were so many clues and I missed all of them.

[–]CodyModo 1 point2 points ago

Out of nowhere, bam It all hit me. Saucy, gf was prego, weird fucking chunks,got a glassy, jarred look on her face. How did I not snap. Gonna make some spaghetti now.

[–]DJRD 1 point2 points ago

It's not even a bait and switch, that's the genius of it. He tells us right up front what the deal is.

[–]Glory_Fades 2 points3 points ago

SO MUCH FORESHADOWING. How did we not see that coming?

[–]blackjackjester 7 points8 points ago

Jesus duckfucking Christ this is already on the front page.

http://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/12xsco/gf_is_prego/

[–]louie82 4 points5 points ago

this is the third time i've seen you post this image in the last hour

slow down man

[–]VETTE_50_TH 9 points10 points ago

AHH. That little shit is terrifying.

[–]abusque 4 points5 points ago

It's fucking nightmare fuel.

[–]isoceans 0 points1 point ago

Looks like he has a small set of dentures...

[–]drsingerx 4 points5 points ago

I went back and reread that... all those terms make sense...

[–]BumpyFoot 2 points3 points ago

So did you cum or what man?

[–]m0use44 1 point2 points ago

Jesus christ man, theres just some things you don't talka bout in public!

[–]PyroMan13 0 points1 point ago

Just...Everything about this was pure genius.

OP, I applaud you and wish to give you a stray cat.

[–]flopperr999 3 points4 points ago

A+ 10/10 WOULD READ AGAIN

[–]LaLaBKS 0 points1 point ago

Prego. Heh.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LandofRy 1 point2 points ago

Prego

[–]captain_underpant 1 point2 points ago

WOW. I am impressed. Even better the second time around

[–]Snakeoilsage -1 points0 points ago

Damn you. I laughed, and I really shouldn't!

[–]anthrocide 0 points1 point ago

Wow, for once I read something entertaining and it seems to be OC.

[–]DrDizaster 0 points1 point ago

GOT ME hook line and sinker! GG I say sir! GG

[–]TILopwasafag 0 points1 point ago

Relevant username

[–]vanillapep 0 points1 point ago

That is the best worst thing I've ever read.

[–]Buddy146 0 points1 point ago

This got me good, I don't know why I was expecting a serious comment on r/funny. A similar thing (losing a baby) just happend to me and I was really feelin for this guy then the ending made me fucking howl. I needed a good laugh thanks op

[–]mregister 0 points1 point ago

This is the best post I've seen all week. Thank you, I just spent like 5 minutes crying my eyes out and holding my gut from laughter.

[–]astro2039194 0 points1 point ago

Read it.. kinda makes sense... Re-read first sentence= Gf is Prego Burst out laughing

[–]ZeroCracked 0 points1 point ago

I love seeing threads like this. There are a bunch more of these kind.

[–]Theron_Guard 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the laugh

[–]Lord_Chodelot 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god this was fantastic. I was confused, so I read the first line over again. Needless to say... AaaaaAaaaaaah! I see what you did

[–]Sabreface 0 points1 point ago

Proof the Internet stays clever.

[–]JTags8 0 points1 point ago

I like this version better.

[–]make_me_pancakes 0 points1 point ago

genius

[–]darkgrenchler 0 points1 point ago

Read entire post "Wat." Wait. "Gf is prego" .... HA

[–]vanessalovesturtles 1 point2 points ago

._.

[–]LightPrism 1 point2 points ago

Oh my god, this is actually really clever. The word usage is genius.

[–]worlddevgroup 0 points1 point ago

Is that jack shepard?

[–]Blakangel72 1 point2 points ago

HEY GUYS I THINK IT WAS FORESHADOWING WHEN HE SAID "SAUCY" LOL.

[–]dwp20 0 points1 point ago

took me a moment.. That's realllly good/

[–]Pickledsoul 0 points1 point ago

if your on the ragu, you won't get prego

[–]flowstoneknight 1 point2 points ago

I thought my girlfriend's pussy would be tight, but instead it was ajar.

[–]Mrlowrider -1 points0 points ago

vegetative state? Nope tomato is a fruit. Completely ruined it for me.

[–]UntzDuntzTuntz 0 points1 point ago

Lolololol

[–]jennah101 0 points1 point ago

After being on the internet so long, I already knew this guy was fucking a can of Prego when he said his wife was prego. Kinda ruined the magic for me but... Still a little funny... Ha.. ha...

[–]cmv1 0 points1 point ago

heheehehe

[–]thetalldrink 0 points1 point ago

You know op, just when I don't think you can write anything stupider, you put this up... And totally redeem yourself!

[–]samfergo 0 points1 point ago

I decided to go on /b/ today and that was the first post I seen. Now I wish I had posted it here... You bastard.

[–]vans1170 0 points1 point ago

fuck you op

[–]Matter1234 0 points1 point ago

Damnit.

[–]learnalilgivinnlovin 0 points1 point ago

That was amazing. I suspected nothing until the very end. Son of a bitch.

[–]paper_flames 0 points1 point ago

So good. Nuff said

[–]axerge 0 points1 point ago

10/10 had to read it again

[–]ToyBoxJr 0 points1 point ago

Fuck you~ :)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]icky_boo 1 point2 points ago

Taste like spaghetti sauce?

Yes I'm going to hell, Might as well go in style.

[–]ndchristie 0 points1 point ago

Until about 3 minutes ago the only thing "mfw" stood for in my mind was "man for woman," which makes every one of these read like a ridiculous personals ad.

Even now that I know what it's supposed to mean, i still prefer my previous interpretation.

[–]icky_boo 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this and of this

[–]IrrelevantLeprechaun 0 points1 point ago

To this day I still don't know the meaning of "mfw."

[–]warchyld 1 point2 points ago

Just stopped crying. Didn't finish the story. Did they save his girlfriend?

[–]SaintAnarchist 1 point2 points ago

Could someone tell me what MFW means? I've never figured that out.

[–]neosreaper 2 points3 points ago

My Face When

[–]DjinnNJuice 0 points1 point ago

My Face When

[–]bamiam 1 point2 points ago

10/10

[–]Jkjolseth 1 point2 points ago

I logged in just to upvote this. You earned it.

[–]waffleninja -1 points0 points ago

Funny, but your title is horrible.

[–]GiantNutZach 1 point2 points ago

This, ladies and gents, is the kind of material that makes trudging through all the porn and shitposting on 4chan worth it.

[–]Traniz 0 points1 point ago

Listening to Bloodhound Gang while reading this gave it some spice.

[–]lovegunsauce 0 points1 point ago

I was expecting dead hooker joke. We got spaghetti sauce.

I love it.

[–]KeyboardPlusFive 0 points1 point ago

Got to the end, went back and re-read, "prego". Fucking brilliant.

[–]zeldafan934 0 points1 point ago

SWEET JESUS THE PUNS.

[–]odedvk 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant!

[–]verygoodbiezy 0 points1 point ago

Lol

[–]Mroberts168 0 points1 point ago

Can't believe I read this and was seriously concerned for your "gf"

[–]chazz94 0 points1 point ago

4chan you crazy mother fucker

[–]oh_no_benjals 0 points1 point ago

Righteous.

[–]zombienoms 0 points1 point ago

clevah girl