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all 150 comments

[–]slickswitch 63 points64 points ago

Quick -in the interest of science, someone check to see if the toilet paper he's using leaves little pieces behind. If what I've seen on television is true, this is a major problem impacting the bear community.

[–]complexitivity 32 points33 points ago

[–]foggart 29 points30 points ago

A bear and a rabbit are crapping next to each other. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "Does shit stick to your fur?". The rabbit smugly replies "Nope!". The bear proceeds to wipe his ass with the rabbit.

[–]carcrusher 8 points9 points ago

You stole that joke from Eddie Murphy! You bastard!

[–]foggart 3 points4 points ago

Sorry! I don't remember where I first heard it but I appreciate the source.

[–]carcrusher 0 points1 point ago

[–]TheUltimatePoet 1 point2 points ago

Delirious or Raw?

[–]seattleque 2 points3 points ago

Delirious.

Tells it to the 10 yr olds parents brought, thinking they were going to see some SNL shit.

[–]rockmanblue 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of Bruce Bruce. "Does a bear shit in the woods and wipe his ass with a white rabbit?"

[–]luthiz 85 points86 points ago

Yes, but is the pope catholic?!

[–]ToastIsWoosh 31 points32 points ago

My personal favorite is "Does the pope shit in the woods?"

[–]RNRSaturday 8 points9 points ago

Yes! It's originally from Steve Martin's 1978 album "Wild and Crazy Guy," which I used to sneak away with headphones to listen to on my parents' stereo system. Years later, I still wonder...

[–]luthiz 3 points4 points ago

Not this pope, but the one before - John Paul II... He most certainly did, because he was an avid outdoorsman!

[–]freisenburger 1 point2 points ago

Does the pope shit in his hat?

[–]Khiraji 0 points1 point ago

This is the one I always use.

[–]Yarrr_piratejackoff 40 points41 points ago

does jerry sandusky like shower time in prison?

[–]Kegertron 39 points40 points ago

does a one legged duck swim in circles?

[–]spookedspaghett 23 points24 points ago

Is there a moustache in Mexico?

[–]OpticWeb 19 points20 points ago

Is a pigs ass pork?

[–]incoming_n_word 18 points19 points ago

Is a ducks ass water-tight?

[–]dogsweat 11 points12 points ago

Does a fifty pound bag of flour make a big biscuit?

[–]Iamsqueegee 23 points24 points ago

Is this likely to be reposted in two days time?

[–]haw_haw_haw 6 points7 points ago

Does Mel Gibson wear a funny hat?

[–]notsonerdy 5 points6 points ago

but do the woods, shit in the woods?

[–]Osiris32 5 points6 points ago

Do the two squares of the sides of a right triangle equal the square of the hypotenuse?

[–]Dirge37 3 points4 points ago

I wanna know how many popes fit in Volkswagen

[–]SirEnvelope 2 points3 points ago

What do you mean I'm funny? Funny how?

[–]luthiz 1 point2 points ago

Funny like a clown?! Like I'm here for your amusement??

[–]_Wolfos 1 point2 points ago

I actually wonder this. Someone who spends so much time thinking about religion, is his faith stronger or did he come to a different conclusion?

[–]take_this_username 13 points14 points ago

I see no rabbit.

[–]kartoen 12 points13 points ago

[–]kulakakei 11 points12 points ago

Is this what you are referring to?

[–]abeth 34 points35 points ago

I'm missing a reference, I assume..

[–]helgihermadur 19 points20 points ago

I'm just commenting here in case someone actually comes up with an answer. I'm lost too.

[–]WoAProximity 45 points46 points ago

Its referring to when people use the expression "does a bear shit in the woods?"

[–]abeth 40 points41 points ago

I've never heard anyone say that. But UrbanDictionary has, so I believe you.

[–]TheRedditKid 40 points41 points ago

It's the entire premise behind the Charmin toilet paper commercials!

[–]dinosaurier 35 points36 points ago

Today I learned

[–]ObligatoryRemark 5 points6 points ago

Mind blown.

[–]sweetgreggo 0 points1 point ago

I've been giggling at those for years.

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 3 points4 points ago

Really? I'm assuming you're not from the US then? It's a pretty common expression.

[–]abeth 8 points9 points ago

Nope, definitely from the US..

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 6 points7 points ago

Huh. I hear that expression all the time.

[–]NedJasons 5 points6 points ago

never heard that expression and from the US....

[–]alienbringer 2 points3 points ago

Basically it is an expression used to say something is obvious. "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Well of course a bear that lives in the woods has to shit in the woods. So if you make an obvious statement or a question with an obvious answer, someone may reply with the bear shitting.

Example

Scenario - A basketball game is being played, and the current loosing team is being beaten badly. A time out is called, and as two team members are walking back to the bench they first asks.

Persona A - We cant give up. We are going to keep fighting until the end.

Person B - Does a bear shit in the woods?

End

Basically saying "obviously we are not going to give up, we will keep fighting until the end".

[–]bretttwarwick 8 points9 points ago

So did they make a comeback and win the basketball game?

[–]NedJasons 1 point2 points ago

I gathered that, just never heard it before

[–]TRAUMAjunkie -1 points0 points ago

Uh, does a bear shit in the woods?

[–]MTGandP 0 points1 point ago

I've heard people say it. You can trust me on this one.

[–]mcg037 -5 points-4 points ago

On Friends, Ross asks Joey if he's hungry. Joey replies, "Psh. Does a bear shit in be woods?"

[–]Mbakes1192 0 points1 point ago

False.

[–]mcg037 -1 points0 points ago

? That may not be why OP posted this picture, but it is on an episode of Friends.

[–]Unicyclesclearlywin 0 points1 point ago

It was around long before that my friend.

[–]Mbakes1192 1 point2 points ago

It wasn't in an episode of Friends though. They couldn't say 'shit' on Friends. And I don't even remember that line at all anyways.

[–]ketchy_shuby 0 points1 point ago

Actually, does a bear shit in someone's backyard?"

[–]Ahl_Capwn 1 point2 points ago

When someone asks something obvious people will say "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Other alternatives include "Is the pope catholic?" or "Does the pope shit in the woods?"

[–]pandez 8 points9 points ago

some even bring toilet paper http://i.imgur.com/oxVr3.jpg

[–]fuckinsurance 4 points5 points ago

I prefer "Does a CareBear shit in the clouds?"

[–]Wasoomi 4 points5 points ago

[–]w2tpmf 0 points1 point ago

Finally someone who understands my point of view. It always confuses people when I answer with "Not if it's a polar bear".

[–]bearshitinthewoods 5 points6 points ago

I told you guys!

[–]millenaire 2 points3 points ago

Of all the places to step in the woods, I stepped in bear shit the other day. Then my stupid dog ate it.

[–]KillAllLawyers 1 point2 points ago

You casually walk in places where BEARS do? Badass.

[–]solidstripes 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, it's called my backyard.

[–]austeregrim 1 point2 points ago

You keep bears in your backyard?

[–]solidstripes 2 points3 points ago

"Keep" is a relative term...

[–]usually_chose_yoshi 2 points3 points ago

Does the pope shit in the woods?

[–]FuckBitchesAndMoney 0 points1 point ago

Case closed

[–]w2tpmf 0 points1 point ago

[–]gbloem 0 points1 point ago

Everything makes so much sense now...

[–]bvanman 1 point2 points ago

I'm not wearing my glasses right now. Is that the Pope there?

[–]workthr_owaway 1 point2 points ago

No it doesn't. I can't confidently say whether being on that path is technically "in the woods" or not. It appears that this bear may have left the woods to poo.

[–]mattymogue 1 point2 points ago

Saved. Next time someone texts me a question, this will be my Yes response.

[–]thatoneguy1415 0 points1 point ago

Yes, a bear does not shit in the woods and you can see from the car in the background.

[–]MikeyBoldballs 0 points1 point ago

majestic

[–]MrRushing 1 point2 points ago

[–]moutaa 1 point2 points ago

yes, you certainly did confirm it.

[–]down_vote_magnet 1 point2 points ago

This does indeed answer that age old question!

"Does a bear shit on the grassy trail next to the carpark?"

[–]iamagainstit 0 points1 point ago

is a bear catholic? does the pope shit in the woods?

[–]AnimatorSteve 0 points1 point ago

And no rabbit to be seen ...

[–]Absinth3 0 points1 point ago

Does a crow shit on the woodwork?

[–]SlippySlappy420 1 point2 points ago

does the Pope crap on the dreams of 200 deaf boys?

[–]Solarnynja 0 points1 point ago

Laughing

[–]Holtby 0 points1 point ago

It's the Charmin bear with no Charmin toilet paper in sight. Shits about to go crazy.

[–]BaltimoreSkater 0 points1 point ago

Is the pope letting pedophiles in churches get away with molesting little boys?

[–]72minutes 1 point2 points ago

Charmin toilet paper commercials are LIES.

[–]AEIOU_occasionallyY 0 points1 point ago

For anyone who is missing the reference--- this answers the age-old question "does a bear shit in the woods?"

[–]expertonbreasts 0 points1 point ago

So he doesn't shit in the woods, he chooses an open clearing.

[–]greenthumble 2 points3 points ago

I thought it looks like the edge of the woods. So both the "in the woods" and the "outside of the woods" camps are wrong.

[–]partanimal 0 points1 point ago

I love that he is off to the side of the path :).

[–]LIAATPYSIW 0 points1 point ago

[–]Blackwind123 0 points1 point ago

Usually...

[–]xconde 0 points1 point ago

The real question: "Little bunny, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

[–]OneSchott 0 points1 point ago

I'm saving this picture for when a friend texts me a question and the answer is yes. I'll just send them that picture instead.

[–]deradera 0 points1 point ago

ish

[–]griffith12 0 points1 point ago

Is the question "does a bear shit on a walking path near a parking lot"?

[–]Rapante 0 points1 point ago

Hey, on closer inspection it becomes obvious that we are most likely dealing with a suburb here, not the woods. So now at least we know that a bear does not shit in the woods exclusively.

[–]hydrogenjoule 0 points1 point ago

Sorta looks like the edge of the woods to me, need more science on this one.

[–]toenail01 0 points1 point ago

Though, not a polar bear.

[–]Tjonke 0 points1 point ago

NO that is on a path IN the woods. PROVES NOTHING

[–]Bad_Toast 0 points1 point ago

What does a bear look like when he poops?

[–]Iamadinocopter 0 points1 point ago

is it really in the woods?

[–]Arktri 0 points1 point ago

And here we see car in it's natural habitat. Stalking it's prey.

[–]rusharz 0 points1 point ago

I dunno there are some cars in the background.

[–]ObligatoryRemark 0 points1 point ago

Does a bear shit in the woods? On my hands?

THERE'S SHIT ON MY HANDS!!!

[–]hoppychris 0 points1 point ago

We can't tell if it's making a sound from that picture.

[–]winnipegjets31 0 points1 point ago

that is on a trail, just outside of the woods.

[–]sweetgreggo 0 points1 point ago

Does the pope wear a funny hat?

[–]maximum_me 0 points1 point ago

no fucking gif?!?

[–]MJZMan 0 points1 point ago

I see a house in the background, that's someone's yard. No one ever questioned whether a bear shits in a yard.

[–]fiercepenguin 0 points1 point ago

That bear is shitting in the woods!

[–]itsme_timd 0 points1 point ago

Wow, I'm amazed how many US Redditors have never heard that expression.

[–]ForRealBarbie 0 points1 point ago

I thought all bears were equipped with a roll of Charmin when they were doing their business.. Guess I was wrong! -_-

[–]cadav 0 points1 point ago

Does that count as the woods or just beside the woods? I don't know! You have answered nothing!

[–]alfrednugent 0 points1 point ago

I don't see shit, only a little squatting.

[–]TTmacK 0 points1 point ago

But, is he Catholic?

[–]w2tpmf 0 points1 point ago

The correct answer is "They don't always".

[–]cpnyc 0 points1 point ago

Bears do shit. Oh. I did not know that.

[–]ScratchBomb 0 points1 point ago

Which one? Does a bear wear a funny hat? or Does the pope shit in the woods? I say neither...

edit: This post answers neither question.

[–]ImExcessivelyVerbose 0 points1 point ago

"Does a bear shit in your back yard?"

[–]TheNitwon 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: The Hebrew name for the book of Genesis is pronounced "bearshit"

[–]apexskier 0 points1 point ago

So... My friend took this picture. It was in her front driveway.

[–]spinningmagnets 0 points1 point ago

He looks like he's praying, so...he's Catholic?

[–]TheLegacys 0 points1 point ago

Well... Shit!

[–]Angrybeaver789 0 points1 point ago

This doesn't explain how magnets work...

[–]ChintzyFob 0 points1 point ago

But does the Pope?

[–]XxRaceBoy24xX 0 points1 point ago

Is Mayonaise an instrument?

[–]cTrillz 1 point2 points ago

[–]kywhy 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone know that Tupac makes this refrence?

[–]Couchlock123 0 points1 point ago

Though Process: Hey look a bear is taking a shit over there, I guess what they say is tr-, HONEY GET THE CAMERA!

[–]StarOfFate 1 point2 points ago

I don't see toilet paper. TV has lied to me.

[–]gn0xious 0 points1 point ago

A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question that is asked in order to make a point and without the expectation of a reply. The question is used as a rhetorical device, posed for the sake of encouraging its listener to consider a message or viewpoint.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[–]losttravelers 1 point2 points ago

Ok a simple downvote would have done just fine but.....

[–]gn0xious 0 points1 point ago

I actually upvoted! :P

[–]losttravelers 1 point2 points ago

I just was making a joke about the Billy Madison line...I don't really care how you voted.

[–]gn0xious 0 points1 point ago

i'm raining upvotes on you because i missed that completely... lol golf clap

[–]GeorgeWKush420 0 points1 point ago

Thanks, Buzzkillington.

[–]MargaretScience 0 points1 point ago

My question of where bears do their tiddly bidness?

o_o How did you know?

[–]garyj924 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it appears as if they do.

[–]Aiken4Brain 0 points1 point ago

Looks to me like he stepped out to shit on the path.

[–]jaaaaay-moooe 0 points1 point ago

I'd have to agree, the bear clearly exited the woods to do his/her business.

[–]D3f1l3d -2 points-1 points ago

Does anyone have a picture of a bear shi... Oh.

[–]DrOfJuxtapositions 0 points1 point ago

Ah, a rare photo specimen of His Holyness in his natural habitat. Stunning.

[–]bretttwarwick 0 points1 point ago

He must have lost his big hat.

[–]NOMEANSNO08 -1 points0 points ago

some one should photoshop the pope in the same kind of position over the the bear.

[–]DeathByComicSans 0 points1 point ago

lol does a pope shit in the woods?

[–]NOMEANSNO08 0 points1 point ago

indeed