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top 200 commentsshow all 242

[–]uri_76 313 points314 points ago

I once asked a girl in college what licking a b hole was like, and if it was gross....she said not really. Said it tasted like toothpaste

[–]I_Ate_Out_My_Mom 158 points159 points ago

10/10

[–]AwesomeLlama 77 points78 points ago

...

..a little proud of what you did, aren't you?

[–]I_Ate_Out_My_Mom 42 points43 points ago

Oh yes.

It tasted like bitter ham.

[–]Justkidding94 27 points28 points ago

After all the stories I've read on here, I can't decide if I believe you or not...

[–]I_Ate_Out_My_Mom 10 points11 points ago

[–]Longerhin 4 points5 points ago

I thought this picture was something else...

[–]corbiiindallasss 9 points10 points ago

bitter ham. never thought of it that way haha

[–]Throwaway281281 2 points3 points ago

No it tastes like sour milk. And coins.

[–]Positively_4th 2 points3 points ago

Mostly coins.

[–]shiftius 1 point2 points ago

Salty coins

[–]Throwaway281281 0 points1 point ago

Salty coins dipped in sour milk, with a side of fish

[–]Popzagon 4 points5 points ago

Dude...

[–]Kakoose 1 point2 points ago

I'm masturbating to you right now.

[–]heylookitsmykel 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit, I'm dying of laughter...

[–]I_Ate_Out_My_Mom 5 points6 points ago

OH NO CALL A HOSPITAL

[–]francisc0121 35 points36 points ago

What the FUCK

[–]ComplainsAboutDvotes 27 points28 points ago

[–]ragem411 3 points4 points ago

Dude look what downvotethiscontent wrote...

Edit: if you don't know what I mean look above or below this thread to get a related comment by user "downvotethiscontent "

[–]Screaming_Monkey 11 points12 points ago

I think the people downvoting you didn't scroll down.

[–]OBrien 6 points7 points ago

Or up, at this point.

[–]Screaming_Monkey 1 point2 points ago

I had an interesting experience when this thread came first. I was like, "What? Toothpaste? Huh? Who's downvotethiscontent?" And then a giant, ". . . Ooohhhhhh!" afterwards.

[–]USxMARINE 1 point2 points ago

Woosh

[–]asininequestion 0 points1 point ago

You know I'm glad I didn't know what this was referencing. Makes me feel better about how much time I spend here.

[–]spagnitz 97 points98 points ago

Gather round childrens, Homie's gonna sing you a song.

[–]uptwolait 22 points23 points ago

God, I miss that show.

[–]Fusion124 1 point2 points ago

In all honestly I've only seen it once and it's still some of the funniest shit I've seen.

[–]warped_and_bubbling 6 points7 points ago

Homie the clown

Homie the clown

Don`t mess around

Don`t mess around

Wit ladies who don't go down

with ladies who don't go down

Especially the ones that sit around and don't do anything but sit on da couch all day while Homie out working his butt off for the Man so he can have a little money to enjoy hisself before comin home to a lazy ass woman who ain't even cooked dinner passed out I said sing along children

....especially the ones thatsitaroundjgadmjtwtpgjcjtw.....

[–]OGtoofless 1 point2 points ago

he'd bop the kids over the head with his bag, ahh those days...

[–]Forever-Independent 341 points342 points ago

Censor the title but not the content.

That is our flawless plan.

[–]lagunka 176 points177 points ago

I can just smell the middle school in this submission.

[–]aequitas3 29 points30 points ago

Smells like I don't understand people need deodorant yet, and those who vaguely get the idea use way too much cologne smelling deodorant.

[–]lagunka 56 points57 points ago

What's that, I get body odor now? Better axe bomb the hallways.

[–]Trolololol123456789 4 points5 points ago

Or just eat Axe Dry so you sweat it too.

[–]dylantrevor 11 points12 points ago

[–]jurden 5 points6 points ago

Or someone with a kid in middle school.

[–]MrRoughsex 2 points3 points ago

I can smell butthole

[–]shmalarie 2 points3 points ago

Except no one in middle school would know who homie the clown is.

[–]Randyh524 6 points7 points ago

Oh those were the days. In living color was the best. Jim Carey was a comical genius on that show.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Positively_4th 0 points1 point ago

Thank you so much for this! I had only seen the first half hour which I assumed was all of it, but now I am able to sit here and laugh out loud at this "new" stuff.

[–]ruskiman 1 point2 points ago

There has been a lot of these "wrong number" posts lately.

They are either fake, or iPhones are really for people so fucking dumb that they can't figure out how to add a contact to their list.

[–]Strong__Belwas 0 points1 point ago

I can't.

[–]drmcclassy 1 point2 points ago

In his defense, hypothetically this could make viewing reddit links safe for work, even with nsfw content. But eh.

[–]bigtuck54 0 points1 point ago

This makes me want to watch this show again.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]scwt 87 points88 points ago

Did it ever occur to you that if she's so insistent on licking assholes, she's probably licked some nasty assholes before you even met her and you've been kissing her the whole time?

[–]galileofan 49 points50 points ago

He does now.

[–]FishBonePendant 32 points33 points ago

I can confirm this.

Source: I have teeth in my butthole.

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 15 points16 points ago

Weirdest imagery ever. I'm disgusted. Please kill my memories.

[–]dkoch0608 12 points13 points ago

Come oonnnnn Shitty_water_colour!

[–]FishBonePendant 5 points6 points ago

Should I post a pic for reference?

[–]dkoch0608 0 points1 point ago

Yes, the answer is always yes!

[–]Operation361 5 points6 points ago

You gave me the fucking weirdest image I have ever thought about in my life. God damn...

[–]Nocticate 2 points3 points ago

[–]Coera 41 points42 points ago

My god am I glad that link is broken.

[–]EricThePooh 5 points6 points ago

I swear I've read this before. Have you posted this before?

[–]TheClayroo 6 points7 points ago

her anus face

12/10.

[–]dont_yell_atME 92 points93 points ago

Your a fucking wierdo

[–]ViaConNada 30 points31 points ago

No kidding. The obvious solution is to dab some bacon drippings on the old brown starfish. Delicious for her with the added benefit of making you farts smell like breakfast. Toothpaste....what a weirdo.

[–]fuckyoubarry 25 points26 points ago

use silicone lube for butt stuff it makes your turds slide out like teflon

[–]ARedFez 4 points5 points ago

Dat imagery.

[–]ljsauk 130 points131 points ago

YOU'RE*!!!!!!!!

[–]Moleman69 23 points24 points ago

DON'T YELL AT HIM!!! GOD

[–]jessejamess 41 points42 points ago

HIS 'a fucking wierdo', BRO.

[–]siekwoon 5 points6 points ago

WEIRDO*!!!!!!!!

[–]iLuVtiffany 2 points3 points ago

YOU'RE!!!!!!!! a fucking wierdo

I don't think that's right either.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 8 points9 points ago

Right? Everyone knows you just wash it out with some Listerine.

[–]shmalarie 2 points3 points ago

Your fucking weirdo girlfriend. FTFY

[–]treefiddi 6 points7 points ago

Look at the comment above about the girl saying it tasted like toothepaste...coincidence? I hope not.

[–]yourmom3211 1 point2 points ago

I noticed that too. That's hilarious.

[–]KrazyEyezKilla 2 points3 points ago

I want to believe this happened so bad.

[–]amcuriosity 1 point2 points ago

This is gold.... I think you and Uri_76 know the same girl

[–]hjkim1304 25 points26 points ago

Area code 217= somewhere around Champaign, IL?? Central Illinois represent!

[–]xrelaht 4 points5 points ago

It's like a quarter of the state, though: http://www.mapsofworld.com/usa/area-codes/maps/illinois-area-code-map.jpg Probably still right, since I'd guess there are more Redditors from UIUC than anywhere else in the area code.

[–]VeronicaPwns 2 points3 points ago

Springfield over here!!

[–]Gdave21 -1 points0 points ago

Hey, That's my area code as well!

[–]thebigm101 2 points3 points ago

UIUC here. The post became 5 times more interesting when I realized that I might know the person

[–]duce2231 5 points6 points ago

Most UIUC students aren't from the 217 though. However, all the asians have 217 numbers.

[–]newtothelyte 72 points73 points ago

WHO THE FUCK SENDS A TEXT TO THE WRONG NUMBER? I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT. SURE, SOMEBODY ELSE ON MY CONTACT LIST, BUT NOT TO AN UNKNOWN NUMBET

[–]kromagnon 94 points95 points ago

all numbets are unknown to me

[–]uptwolait 39 points40 points ago

I HAVE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE WHEN TEXTING SOMEONE'S NUMBET

[–]rach11 11 points12 points ago

I've never done it but my dad accidentally texted someone else when he was trying to message me because he didn't know how to send to a contact, only how to enter the number by hand.

When I was home I was digging up a dead tree in our yard for him and went back to school before I finished. So he finished and texted someone (meant to be me) a picture of what looked like a freshly dug grave with the words "job's done"

[–]isntjameson 11 points12 points ago

Disregarding your hilarious typo, I have definitely texted a wrong number before. Someone changed their number and I ended up asking a random person for 2 g's of bud.

[–]smashingrah 4 points5 points ago

2gs? You should just buy an eighth!

[–]throwaway_accountant 3 points4 points ago

He meant gallons.

[–]smashingrah 4 points5 points ago

Oh my bad, I forgot weed came in gallons

[–]Telluride12 1 point2 points ago

I thought 2g's was $2k.

[–]isntjameson 0 points1 point ago

I wanted to spend the difference on beer.

[–]Nocticate 2 points3 points ago

Well did they have any?

[–]MisterT123 0 points1 point ago

2 g's? Thats like buyin 1g but twice as bad. Get an 1/8th.

[–]420neverforget 0 points1 point ago

Jameson? Oh, sorry.

[–]DrewTheSchu 26 points27 points ago

Seriously, having your b-hole licked feels AMAZING. Instant orgasim.

[–]poon-is-food 0 points1 point ago

Hell if I can get a girl to do it im over the fucking moon.

Dat shit is good, like dat feel at the initial penetration, but constant.

[–]IveGot2Words4YouSTFU 0 points1 point ago

Take it from this man. He's an ex-spurt.

[–]Chad81 18 points19 points ago

My ex and current gf do that....its amazing just sayin'

[–]royalclown 5 points6 points ago

Rimjobs are the shiznet!

[–]7FoldSamurai 1 point2 points ago

*Shiznit

[–]JesterAzazel 5 points6 points ago

Where do you meet these women? Finding one seems likely enough, but two? That's out of this world man. What ever happened to normal stuff like choking.

[–]poon-is-food 1 point2 points ago

You get in a relationship where you are comfortable to ask and shes comfortable trying, they try it and realise its really not a big deal.

Its never messy and not gross if you shower and possibly shave (getting a hand there is helpful)

[–]JesterAzazel 0 points1 point ago

I don't think I could ever ask for something like that, but it's not something I'm into anyway.

I did get to a point with my current SO where I'm mentioned other strange shit I'm into, though, and she's going to go for it. So I get that.

[–]poon-is-food 1 point2 points ago

exactly, it goes for anything to be honest. Thats what a healthy sex life is about.

[–]FUCK_YOUR_EX 1 point2 points ago

Go on..

[–]professorvanessa 1 point2 points ago

To each other?

[–]Random_Link_Roulette 17 points18 points ago

[–]deherazade 14 points15 points ago

I wonder if I start texting random numbers if I will eventually encounter a redditor who can use the opportunity for karma.

[–]kissingonbonfires 2 points3 points ago

GGG texts redditors pretending to be the wrong number so they can get karma.

[–]desull 1 point2 points ago

I was once texted by a random number and ended up making a friend. She was on some website, no clue what the name is now, and they had a thing about texting random numbers, we had the same area code and first 3 digits and mine ends in 0123, so I got a text. It was something random, "you look good today" or similar, of course I responded. Found out she went to my school and was my age, we would chat occassionally. Still saved in my contacts as "Rachel Random"..

[–]yhelothere 5 points6 points ago

feelsgoodman

[–]Mysterious-Stranger 31 points32 points ago

I don't blame you, this is one of the funniest exchanges I have seen, but:

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Wrong number 379coms 1689pts 6mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]kjm7 30 points31 points ago

Holy shit, only reposted once and it was 6 months ago. That has to be a record...

[–]c0pe 43 points44 points ago

Stolen from me....I was the original receiver of this wrong number text.

[–]DSTFU 9 points10 points ago

You should do an AMA

"I was ripped off of karma. AMA"

[–]c0pe 9 points10 points ago

Half of reddit could do an AMA on that.

[–]JCXtreme 2 points3 points ago

The quality of the image posted here is terrible. I guess it further proves how you are the original poster.

[–]c0pe 2 points3 points ago

The quality of the image? It's a screenshot I took on my phone.....

[–]monkeybanana14 1 point2 points ago

You can tell its old from the quality of the screenshot.

[–]JCXtreme 1 point2 points ago

No, yours is fine. In the reposted one, the quality seems terrible in comparison.

[–]c0pe 2 points3 points ago

Oh I see what you mean now.

[–]Mysterious-Stranger 0 points1 point ago

Its actually been reposted approximately 3.2 gazillion times, but karmadecay is stupid and only shows 1 of them.

[–]albinobluesheep 0 points1 point ago

Oh good, I wasn't sure if it was a repost, or just someone else repeating the joke with another wrong number.

[–]sgtpppr 1 point2 points ago

I normally hate these text message screen caps, but this one is pretty fucking funny.

[–]destroys_pun_threads 1 point2 points ago

I think ive seen this repost about 9 times.

[–]Draakan 0 points1 point ago

First for me.

[–]destroys_pun_threads 1 point2 points ago

Well apparently you didnt click on it multiple times by accident like i did.

[–]CauseAndDefect 2 points3 points ago

SIKE! THATS THE WRONG NUMBER!!!

[–]donutsalad 2 points3 points ago

[–]alexuscatherine 7 points8 points ago

217 zip code ftw

[–]elliottsith 8 points9 points ago

is that still champaign-urbana?

[–]zachhats 3 points4 points ago

Yes, as far as I know. /r/uiuc represent

[–]thebigm101 0 points1 point ago

a good chunk of our campus is on reddit. It makes me proud

[–]acrowsmurder 2 points3 points ago

Jacksonville? I hope. I feel so alone here...

[–]xrelaht 0 points1 point ago

[–]stlcardinal9 2 points3 points ago

Springfield here! I just texted my friend Dani and asked her to lick my butthole, didnt turn out how I hoped.

[–]shiewt 2 points3 points ago

Zip code.......

[–]lisabadcat 2 points3 points ago

31201 area code represent!

[–]stlcardinal9 21 points22 points ago

[–]myfajahas400children 3 points4 points ago

Poor Dani. She didn't deserve that. She was going through a hard time.

[–]Skelletonhand 1 point2 points ago

She picked the wrong day to quit using meth.

[–]Ss1120 1 point2 points ago

Shit.

[–]that_other_guy_jim 1 point2 points ago

Homie don't know what love is.

[–]HeinzTomatoMustard 0 points1 point ago

I'd play that shit all day.

[–]homietheclown 0 points1 point ago

You damn right homie don't play dat.

[–]hamishknaups 0 points1 point ago

Ha, that was assome.

[–]AnusHole -1 points0 points ago

why do people censor words on the internet? what the fuck?

[–]derpinmerkin -1 points0 points ago

repost

[–]MuttonTheChops 0 points1 point ago

"Now how do you feel?!"

"I feel totally dissed, Homie."

[–]AnotherVoiceActor -1 points0 points ago

As someone who recently broke up with a Dani, I found this disturbingly hilarious.

[–]Verteros 1 point2 points ago

How does this even happen? I mean getting the wrong number, whenever I get a number from a friend I put them on my contacts in my phone.

[–]runsoutofspace 0 points1 point ago

At least she didn't taze your butthole.

[–]Koyoteelaughter 0 points1 point ago

or throw it on the ground. man!

[–]strikerii -1 points0 points ago

gator don't take no shit! D<

[–]Koyoteelaughter -1 points0 points ago

I love that reference line

[–]mattwilliams06 1 point2 points ago

Nothing happened less than this happened.

[–]KPEN7 1 point2 points ago

217 area code. Good ol' central illinois for ya!

[–]illdrawyourface 0 points1 point ago

I laughed because of the homie the clown reference.

[–]chelseuhhh 0 points1 point ago

omg 217, that is my area code number.

[–]crotchfist[!] 1 point2 points ago

same here as well, Champaign represent.

[–]chiqadeee[!] 1 point2 points ago

Danville.

[–]mluna785 0 points1 point ago

AHAHAHA! That is fucking awesome!

[–]cTrillz 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand how this happens...are there people who manually type in their friend's phone numbers (AKA no phone contact) when texting them?

[–]Silverblader 0 points1 point ago

How did you know Dani was a girl?

[–]Haxdawg 1 point2 points ago

That's my area code ಠ_ಠ

[–]slowdowniamdumb 0 points1 point ago

si is that you

[–]afteri86 0 points1 point ago

that shit made my night. for real. my wife and i can't stop laughing.

[–]iLuVtiffany 0 points1 point ago

This is how it's supposed to be. You have a little fun then tell them it's the wrong number. No harm, no foul. Unlike douches who send people for a gathering at the person's home they think they're texting.

[–]Insightful_Comments 0 points1 point ago

omfg i dies

[–]bearcherian 0 points1 point ago

[–]Sly_R 0 points1 point ago

If there is one thing I have learned from Reddit, it's that a lot of people send SMS messages to people whose phone number they have manually keyed in from memory, rather than just using one of several available shortcuts that guarantee a correct number.

That, or these wrong number posts are fake. Nah...

[–]KySnow 0 points1 point ago

this is the oldest shit ever.

[–]KrazyEyezKilla 0 points1 point ago

Nothing wrong with some butthole on mouth action. Homie is a buster and a prude.

[–]Davyath 0 points1 point ago

This scares me because I had a gf named Dani who was obsessed with trying to stick her fingers in my butt....

[–]LuckyDuck77 1 point2 points ago

SO FUCKING OLD U CUNT

[–]Francesca84 0 points1 point ago

that ended too well haha

[–]wayne_27 0 points1 point ago

This is absolutely glorious. Great start to the day.

[–]seraph77 1 point2 points ago

What's funny, is I bet 90% of people on here have no idea where "homie don't play that" originally came from. I feel old :(

[–]Lickadiddle 0 points1 point ago

First time I have genuinely laughed out loud at something on reddit in a few weeks. Good show old sport, good show!

[–]Dani_of_Reddit 0 points1 point ago

I never licked anyone's butthole.

[–]Homiedaklown 0 points1 point ago

It is true...i don't play that

[–]bringmeshrubberies 0 points1 point ago

THIS IS MY AREA CODE

THIS IS MY AREA CODE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]ForgettableUsername -3 points-2 points ago

This is so ****ing h***rious.