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WTF

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all 130 comments

[–]LouieMCB 54 points55 points ago

10x worse if it can shoot webs

[–]OhGodSoMuchTurkey 52 points53 points ago

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

[–]Wolfram161 8 points9 points ago

I don't know, I think the idea of that monstrosity pawing at its bum going, "oh why did I do that, now my bum fur is all gunked up" and sighing somewhat miserably is pretty hilarious.

[–]baller209 2 points3 points ago

I agree. Why the fuck do I still look at WTF before bed?

[–]FriskyTacocaT 0 points1 point ago

100 worse if it had wings o.O

[–]shanoxilt 0 points1 point ago

It looks like it belongs on /r/19thworldproblems.

[–]arnevnre -5 points-4 points ago

[–]RequiemStorm 27 points28 points ago

Ursarachniphobia? sounds legit. Though I wouldn't say it's that scary, but that's just me. I'd wanna ride it. Whether i meant that sexually or not is up to you.

[–]Quothefool 3 points4 points ago

Is-is it okay if i mast...ah...t- ya know this?

[–]mrcookieeater 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for your superb zoology skills.

[–]Sgtbird08 108 points109 points ago

Spider-bear, Spider-bear, does whatever a Spider-bear dares. Spins a web, huge in size, catches Salmon, just like flies....

~LOOK OUT~

Here come Spider-bear!

[–]mikemikemotorbike 10 points11 points ago

Dammit I just felt this flush of fear throughout my whole body.

Thank you for easing my pain a bit.

[–]Jackmangold 4 points5 points ago

Bearachnid

[–]Thespissed 0 points1 point ago

This was first thing that came to mind. You beat me to it. Have an upvote.

[–]itsalejandreezy 0 points1 point ago

Bearachniphobia

[–]Snakeoilsage 1 point2 points ago

Catches salmon, just like flies, look out!

[–]SirBenjamin 0 points1 point ago

Manbearpig.

[–]lovelytrees3 1 point2 points ago

..Bearantula?

EDIT: Late to the party again.

[–]ThunderNuggets358 0 points1 point ago

I think I would be more afraid of flies that catch salmon than spiderbear.

[–]AldousTrollington 0 points1 point ago

It's called a spear.

[–]SomeoneBetter 37 points38 points ago

The fabled Bearantula.

[–]BigHurt0313 7 points8 points ago

Brown Bearcluse

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 5 points6 points ago

I like your term better.

[–]signspam 3 points4 points ago

Spear works

[–]old_racist 2 points3 points ago

They say 1 in 3 are bearachnaphobic

[–]tempus_dominus 15 points16 points ago

Any Skyrim modders out there who can make this a reality?

[–]Dseraphino 12 points13 points ago

why hello nightmares.

[–]weaver2109 3 points4 points ago

Did someone say nightmares?

[–]medron 2 points3 points ago

Fuck! I could have went my entire life without seeing that shit ever again

[–]ratopia 9 points10 points ago

I want one! It is fucking adorable.

[–]jessicamooney 21 points22 points ago

He's cute!

[–]scuzzytoast 4 points5 points ago

Cute? He's adorable!

Look at those big beautiful eyes! I just want to cuddle him and pet him and stroke his face and rub his widdle ears...

I don't care how big it is. It's getting a hug. I might die, but I want to hug the shit out of that thing.

[–]sotonohito 7 points8 points ago

Yup, those are going into the RPG I run.

Between the dwinitars (dwarf/centaur crossbreeds), the deadly badger turtles (swim through the ground, erupt out and bite, inspired by a truly awful "adventure" book cover from the 1950's featuring two guys attacked by turtles), and now the spider bears my game universe is getting a little weird.

But it started weird, so this isn't really all that out of character. The setting also includes the Noble Arboreal Squid, and it's cousin the Lesser Arboreal Squid.

Hmm.

Here's my off the cuff GURPS stat block for spider bears:

ST: 20, DX: 14, IQ: 6, HT: 20

Skills: Brawling 15, Innate Attack 15

Advantages: Peripheral Vision, Binding, Venom of some sort haven't decided what kind yet

They hunt in pairs, one herding prey to a web by roaring and threat displays and the other waiting to one shooting webs at any prey who evade the web or fail to panic and run to it.

[–]Trundar 2 points3 points ago

I must know more....

[–]prnd3l 1 point2 points ago

Don't forget the fire com beer: bear with antlers

[–]Sykotik 20 points21 points ago

Spiderbear, Spiderbear. Really big spider all covered in hair. Spiderbear, Spiderbear. Don't climb a tree, he'll still get you up there. Spiderbear, Spiderbear...

[–]AetherAlchemyst 6 points7 points ago

A bear there was, a bear, a bear! All black and brown, and covered with hair! The bear! The bear! Oh, come, they said, oh come to the fair! The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear! All black, and brown, and covered with hair!

[–]bobmillahhh 0 points1 point ago

Just a cat of a different coat, that's allllllllllllll the truthhhhhhhhh I knoooooooooooooowwwwwwww!!!

Sorry, I've been banned from /r/gameofthrones, I take every chance I get to geek out.

[–]synachynadodiechodie 1 point2 points ago

That is a great fucking song.

[–]Nutdip 4 points5 points ago

Ermahgerd! Sbearder!

[–]beefybear 7 points8 points ago

[–]Jibblers 1 point2 points ago

Much less phobia-inducing.

[–]prnd3l 0 points1 point ago

Heard of owl bears but this could be a new fantasy monster. Serious

[–]bluesjammer 0 points1 point ago

wat.

[–]FancyMFMoses 6 points7 points ago

Nononononononononononononononononononono! I can never sleep now.

[–]jjbowman12 6 points7 points ago

Spidear.

[–]Hounmlayn 3 points4 points ago

Just a really posh way to say spider I think.

[–]StopIMAHipster 4 points5 points ago

pretty irrational fear..

[–]bassplaya13 4 points5 points ago

can someone do the same thing but a spider with a bear face?

[–]ImaBheast[S] 3 points4 points ago

[–]DrRetrobeef 4 points5 points ago

bear-rantula... looks like a bad movie... sharktopus....

[–]Cptnwalrus 4 points5 points ago

"Oh shit Mike look out, a spider bear".

Unforgotten Realms..?...anyone..?

anyone..?

[–]StaraptorSKRA 0 points1 point ago

I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to see a reference to Unforgotten Realms.

[–]mack1886 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for not letting me feel like the only one who saw that. Man, I miss the Bone comics.

[–]A_Noni_Moose 3 points4 points ago

Bearachnid. Looks pretty cute, until its other four legs show up for the party.

[–]_Spider-man_ 3 points4 points ago

Why does everyone hate spiders?

[–]cattimiptwax 3 points4 points ago

This is known as the "bearantula".

[–]Occamsrazor1 2 points3 points ago

Spear?

[–]Superfool 2 points3 points ago

No one fucks with spider-bear

[–]BigBoss7316 2 points3 points ago

Barack-naphobia haha... Get it? Because of the electi-nevermind.

[–]joot78 2 points3 points ago

The eye arrangement indicates family Lycosidae (wolf spider). They are harmless.

-/r/spiders for all your spider identification needs.

[–]ima_pedantic_asshole 3 points4 points ago

Spider bear, spider bear, does whatever a spider bear does.

[–]Evannhamz 2 points3 points ago

Welp. I didn't want to sleep tonight anyways.

[–]raysmale 2 points3 points ago

Arachnibear!!! AWESOME

[–]Wildebeast1 1 point2 points ago

Do you get these in Scotland?

[–]torgospizzadelivery 2 points3 points ago

Dem eyes... 8(

[–]ArbitraryIndigo 1 point2 points ago

If you encountered an ursospider (arachnobear?) and weren't afraid, either you're a crazy genetic engineer who others should fear or you have some mental disorder where you don't have the right reaction to things.

[–]TharsisRise 1 point2 points ago

(Spiderbear makes a series of snorting and guttural clicking sounds as you shit your pants.)

[–]Cigele 1 point2 points ago

I know it's creepy and shit but every single one of you know that watching a documentary on the spider-bear would kick ass. I would love to see this thing get a kill.

[–]CrossP 1 point2 points ago

Needs more legs

[–]Das_Badlands 1 point2 points ago

I couldn't bring myself to close the page, because i'd have to look at the screen again.

[–]aztech101 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of the Skyrim mod that replaced all spider models with bears.

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 1 point2 points ago

Oh cool you found a grizzly tarantubear.

[–]kingcrabula 1 point2 points ago

Bearachnophobia. Starring Jeff Daniels

[–]mdota1 1 point2 points ago

it's kinda cute...

[–]Logic_Sheep 1 point2 points ago

I feel the urge to make him quiche.

[–]SaltSnorter 1 point2 points ago

Ursarachnaphobia

[–]throwawaycabbages 1 point2 points ago

Here's my issue - I don't see how it's any scarier than a bear. Any fear I have of spiders stems from the idea that it will touch me, and then inject me with poison. If that thing is in position to poison me, an actual bear would be in position to eat me.

[–]RafteI 1 point2 points ago

Bearachnids!

[–]jshhffrd 1 point2 points ago

That would be so much scarier if it was moving... shudders

[–]GiantMTMilo 1 point2 points ago

Aww it cute

[–]Slick_drip99 1 point2 points ago

I LOVE THIS. Came to the comments hoping to find a subreddit for these bear-spiders like r/bearswithbeaks. Please someone make my wish come true!

[–]kodiakrampage 1 point2 points ago

Bearantulas are now my biggest fear.

[–]Koyoteelaughter 1 point2 points ago

Holy fuck...I agree.

[–]the_sun_crow 1 point2 points ago

Clearly, this is one of those infamous bugbears. You can usually defeat one with either a Gary Gygax, or a +1 mace of some kind, as long as you roll for initiative first.

[–]maap99 1 point2 points ago

Give it eight legs and get back to me.

[–]Blondie01 1 point2 points ago

I want one!! It's cute in a freaky way. :)

[–]Namaztak 1 point2 points ago

Unforgotten Realms.

[–]Beast_and_the_harlot 1 point2 points ago

Spider bear, spider bear, does whatever a spider bear does. Can he swing from a web? No he cat, he's a bear. Look ooooooouuuut he is the spider bear.

[–]BiGSiS64 1 point2 points ago

I just SCREAMED "No"

[–]SimilarImage -1 points0 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
10 months trollzor18 Yeah.. We are all going to die! here 17 35
1 year violentacrez Here, have a nightmare /r/pics 117 451

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[–]chupom 1 point2 points ago

can't unsee this T.T

[–]cosmicButterfly 1 point2 points ago

Idkkkkkkkkkk would probs still cuddle

[–]Quakcow 1 point2 points ago

My main problem with arthropods is their legs so...mammalian legs and spider face isn't nearly as irksome.

[–]warpinthewest 1 point2 points ago

Bugbear

[–]BellaDonna38 1 point2 points ago

All I can say is :OH DEAR GOD, WHY!!!!!

[–]notyourfather 1 point2 points ago

welp, if you would politely go fuck yourself for introducing that into my psyche that would be greeeeeat

[–]poodymanny 1 point2 points ago

I was simply not prepared.

[–]Nathineil 1 point2 points ago

They can smell the menstruation!

[–]blueeyedconcrete 1 point2 points ago

bear-achnophobia? barracknophobia?

[–]iwantaWAHFUL 1 point2 points ago

You fear mice and spiders. But your biggest fear is that the two species will cross breed to form a more powerful race of mice-spiders that will immobilize people with huge webs, in order to steal cheese.

[–]DHealy90 1 point2 points ago

Thats just fucked up

[–]FlamingoAsparagus 1 point2 points ago

That's just wrong.

[–]krogers1337 1 point2 points ago

Bearder?

[–]Scronkr19 0 points1 point ago

Aww I hate you! I was just falling asleep.

[–]aengelpxl 0 points1 point ago

Imagine walking around in the forest and then BAM!

Spibear.

[–]Brambo94 0 points1 point ago

I am super cereal guys. Man-Bear-Spider is real!

[–]SENSITIVEFUCK 0 points1 point ago

Nope Nope NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

[–]CorneliusEvo 0 points1 point ago

Spider bear spider bear does whatever a spider bear does...which is most likely to wait in the corner of your house than maul you

[–]epsiblivion 0 points1 point ago

/r/TheLastAirbender wants its bear-spider back.

[–]iylara 0 points1 point ago

KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

[–]HaydenB 0 points1 point ago

I imaging it would hiss like a mother fucker...

[–]RichardBelding 0 points1 point ago

Is your phobia re-posts or posts in WTF that don't belong there?

[–]shoebado 0 points1 point ago

Aww I think it's kind of cute

[–]mknyan 0 points1 point ago

Game over man, game over!

[–]JukkaZ31 -1 points0 points ago

Frostbite bear?

[–]Brisn 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the kind of thing you would see on the last air bender.

[–]demon_ix 0 points1 point ago

Ursarachnids are actually nice and fluffy.

[–]Dino_PunK -1 points0 points ago

That's a big steaming pile of WTF...Nope

[–]thecreator666 0 points1 point ago

you just took the small amount of sleep i get every night... why? what did i do to deserve this?

[–]helloWorldguy -1 points0 points ago

Well, no sleep tonight