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all 47 comments

[–]billybob753 14 points15 points ago

Pharaoh Hitler.

[–]Alphalfajuice -3 points-2 points ago

Forgive them father for they know not what they say.

[–]Firebat4321 5 points6 points ago

"Dad, how did Jesus walk on water?"

"He had noclip on, son"

[–]ManFishSam 15 points16 points ago

I love it! if only Morgan Freeman could narrate that.

[–]aoner1 17 points18 points ago

Someone really needs to invent Morgan Freeman text to speech.

[–]Addrian 2 points3 points ago

Seems accurate to me.

[–]punwasintended 14 points15 points ago

"God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in" -by far my favorite part.

[–]thekind253 6 points7 points ago

I liked the emo poetry for him to fap to! Hahaha

[–]RoadToSerfdom 2 points3 points ago

I really just had a fantastic laugh. Thanks.

[–]hankwareagle 2 points3 points ago

I huffed at it, surprisingly accurate-ish

[–]saargrin 7 points8 points ago

Better than the original

[–]jacobdontcare 4 points5 points ago

Haha the Paul part at the end was the best. People basically worship HIS words hahaha

[–]djm1st 6 points7 points ago

As someone who grew up in the Church and was taught all about Paul's teachings, I always asked why pretty much the ENTIRE New Testament was comprised of Paul getting pissed at a bunch of Churches for not following random rules that he "derived" from what Jesus had said. I always asked my father, mother, sunday school teacher etc. why Paul was even included, and they all said because he was blessed by Jesus... but, Paul was originally Saul, who was a dick, and then he saw that Jesus was obviously favorable, so he joined Jesus' side, changed his name, and then continued to boss people around. I honestly don't see why Paul is the most important figure in the later part of the New Testament...

[–]erragodofmayhem 0 points1 point ago

I had never thought of it that way before...

[–]sweetygirlfaj 2 points3 points ago

Because those "random rules" were the same rules from the old testament for the most part. Plus, at the time, being a Christian was not "obviously favorable". Christians were stoned to death and put in prison. Paul knew this because not only was he jailed several times, he was originally one of the people carrying out these acts against early Christians. His writings are important mostly because they provide practical advice for the early churches and talk about real struggles he's had as opposed to a straight up history book like a lot of the other New Testament books.

[–]DucBlangis 2 points3 points ago

Why the fuck is Captain Planet being crucified?

[–]Asstadon[S] 0 points1 point ago

He's our hero...I mean savior

[–]shinthemighty 1 point2 points ago

My brain read that as this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHihkRwisbE

[–]trentshipp -1 points0 points ago

something something leaking something.

[–]ILLED -1 points0 points ago

RULE #1 do not talk about /b/

[–]RougeCrown 1 point2 points ago

you just did.

[–]RougeCrown 2 points3 points ago

Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews.

i'm sorry i'm laughing so hard and this.

[–]iLuVtiffany 1 point2 points ago

I like the one where 4chan explains the different religions.

[–]shaan_ 0 points1 point ago

Good thing that caption explained what was happening or I wouldn't have caught on.

[–]erragodofmayhem 0 points1 point ago

One of the only things on the internet that if i see it i have to stop and read it all again. Every step of the way it is hilarious and ingenious.

[–]hellohurricane87 0 points1 point ago

As a pastor, this wasn't half bad, irreverent but not bad.

(I have my masters in philosophy and theology btw).

[–]lethrowface 0 points1 point ago

Ugh.

DAE LE INTERNET SPEAK LE HISTORICAL TEXT TO MAKE IT HIP AND RELEVANT TO LE INTERNET LE YOUNGSTERS? LOL XD

[–]thatiswhack 0 points1 point ago

i gave this an applause after reading it

[–]Absocold 0 points1 point ago

too much text

[–]youreawinner_barry 0 points1 point ago

"I lol'd" smh OP

[–]RustyMarshmellow 0 points1 point ago

[–]dancam90 0 points1 point ago

That was enlightening.

[–]saargrin -1 points0 points ago

Better than the original

[–]Phordh -1 points0 points ago

Not sure why the caption underneath was necessary, but it was definitely a better use of my time than reading the bible.

[–]jeepsterjk -2 points-1 points ago

Gold

[–]Fist-Fook 0 points1 point ago

That's why i love /b/ - but i can't be arsed to trawl through the tons of shit surrounding stuff like this in order to find it... so thanks for bringin' it to /r/funny :] upvotes for you!

[–]wryan95 -2 points-1 points ago

[–]SleepingOnMoonshine 6 points7 points ago

Not really, actually. I'm a Christian and this... is a pretty good synopsis.

[–]thekind253 1 point2 points ago

This should be in every hotel room bedside table.

[–]buckybone -2 points-1 points ago

Holy repost, Batman!

[–]Lexi_Laura -4 points-3 points ago

I lol'd? See more is that you?