I'm tired of these motherfuckin' snakes on my motherfuckin' chain!

seishi · 2012-11-08T14:10:50+00:00

Let me guess, Australia?

barbados-slim · 2012-11-08T11:46:52+00:00

well, time to get a new bike.

CamZillo · 2012-11-08T13:15:20+00:00

Pedal down to the nearest corner, and the problem will sort itself out.

ZestyProspect · 2012-11-08T11:19:43+00:00

That's horrifying. Imagine having to wait until it unwrapped itself and slithered off..

overweightanorexic · 2012-11-08T11:34:46+00:00

Wow, I bet that snake really derailed your biking activities.

HansWurst121 · 2012-11-08T11:45:14+00:00

This kills the snake.

engals · 2012-11-08T14:52:54+00:00

Holy shit, that's intense. I remember I was camping in West Virginia and my friends dog was walking ahead of us (Mind you, we were all tripping on Mushrooms...) It was windy as fuck! and when you're tripping, your sense are heightened, at least hearing wise. In any case, we were all enjoying the scenery and the intense winds. As we kept hiking I realized, it wasn't windy, it was my two buddies behind me blowing in the back of my head fucking with me. So, when I heard my friend's dog barking, I knew right away that sound was a fucking rattle snake, so I just yelled the dog's name "CLOIE! GET OVER HERE! HEY!" My friends at this point are tripping balls laughing their asses off, I turn around and say, "HEY MORON YOUR DOG IS ABOUT TO GET BIT BY A FUCKING RATTLE SNAKE! CALL IT! NOW!" So, as you can imagine we're all running like idiots trying to call the dog. Finally, we catch up to the dog and at this point, the rattle snake is louder than ever! My buddy picks up his dog and I grab about ~5 foot long log. I spot the thing in a tall grass area about 10 feet ahead. At this point we're all tripping balls freaking the fuck out. As a snake lover, I hated what I had to do next, I crept up close to it and smacked it as hard as I could, right in the head. That squirmed for a bit and kept smacking (maybe 10 more times). Then, I stepped on its head and got out my jack knife decapitated it. I grabbed another piece of wood and dug a hole then used my hands to dig further, the hole at this point was 1 foot deep. I figured that was good enough and buried it's head. Then I grabbed the rest of the snake and gutted it (This was in a span of 45 minutes, I completely forgot I had 8 other people behind me mutter curses under their wondering whether this was real life or not...) I turn around after I was done and simply say, "Who wants dinner?" There a 5 second silence and we all erupted in laughter...

TL;DR Tripping balls. Rattle snake was about to bite dog. Whack-a-moled that thing to death. Buried head in a foot hole. Skinned it. DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE. Will post pictures later.

EDIT: JEEZ calm down. I'm at my university and don't get home till later in the evening, be patient.

EDIT 2: I searched my 4 hard drives for the photos for a couple hours but no luck... I apologize for the lame "climax"... I'll keep looking but I can't promise anything :/

lolsail · 2012-11-08T11:36:35+00:00

Imagine riding the bike with it entwined fully through the wheel. Instant snake slushy.

Fibonacci121 · 2012-11-08T14:07:01+00:00

So what kind of snake was it?

whenonedoorisclosed · 2012-11-08T17:07:54+00:00

Fellow South African here; This looks like a juvenile mole snake. I used to catch and keep snakes as a kid and I caught one that looked just like this guy! He's a beauty, will make lots of noise and act very aggressively, but is completely harmless :) I used to have huge glass tanks in my bedroom and at any one time had puffadders, boomslang, skaapsteekers, red-lipped herald, brown house snakes, a royal python, a cape cobra etc....I love snakes!

Similar markings can be seen on this guy here:

http://www.flickriver.com/places/7ce2EPtUV7OjsPdIUg/recent/

Duffong · 2012-11-08T08:01:07-07:00

How I would have reacted.

landaaan · 2012-11-08T14:45:49+00:00

/r/bicycling

Weaselvoyager · 2012-11-08T14:56:19+00:00

Ewww...time to get a new bike and move some place else.

yopeasants · 2012-11-08T15:36:25+00:00

Snakes on a Chain, coming to theaters December

VampireCircus · 2012-11-08T14:51:21+00:00

FIRE! And lots of it!

randomguy186 · 2012-11-08T15:20:43+00:00

Don't worry. A random stranger will take care of it while you're at work.

Dillon93 · 2012-11-08T15:21:39+00:00

Are you saying this has happened more than once!?

doesntmatterhad · 2012-11-08T15:26:14+00:00

So how did it get there, and is it caught in the chain? or is it just wrapped around it?

AudacityTN · 2012-11-08T15:45:50+00:00

who needs a derailleur when you've got a snake to skip your chain!

DirtyTre · 2012-11-08T15:56:58+00:00

Dat Asp

hudony · 2012-11-08T15:58:14+00:00

Chill out you motherfucker!

T3hSav · 2012-11-08T09:03:26-07:00

Snakes only attack quality parts. This one has clearly singled out your bike for the hubs.

RouseHouse1013 · 2012-11-08T16:22:40+00:00

Ride about a mile and post the result in r/gore.

PepNYC · 2012-11-08T16:23:08+00:00

He just needs a ride to the rat store. Geez dude. Don't be so uptight.

Null_zero · 2012-11-08T16:30:14+00:00

Well this gives me a great idea for a new bike chain.

lethal_weapon_five · 2012-11-08T16:30:56+00:00

If you peddled the bike you would probably grind it up good...

AustinTreeLover · 2012-11-08T16:38:21+00:00

It's the snake's bike now.

epic720 · 2012-11-08T09:41:20-07:00

manyupvotes.gif

Brilliantly clever title.

jacobuj · 2012-11-08T16:43:32+00:00

Bike thief deterrent activated.

paidijones · 2012-11-08T16:53:02+00:00

Originally I thought this was a link to show someones bike lock disguised as a snake.

Ckruse922 · 2012-11-08T16:57:56+00:00

Snakes on a plane reference. Love it!

scruffyfox · 2012-11-08T17:01:45+00:00

I'm tyred of these motherfuckin' snakes

FTFY

FookingPrawns · 2012-11-08T17:10:12+00:00

Burn the bike

protomd · 2012-11-08T17:10:51+00:00

If this happened to me I'd run away and tell everyone the story of how a snake stole my bike :(

damonkat26 · 2012-11-08T17:11:17+00:00

I'm actually watching Snakes on a Plane right now. It's on FX

polite_bulb · 2012-11-08T17:30:56+00:00

Turn that small mother fucker left!

mapkinase · 2012-11-08T17:37:26+00:00

It was not a snake. It's a snake/dog hybrid: a snake with a dog's brain.

Snog.

glassandmonocle · 2012-11-08T17:40:13+00:00

Don't fuss, just start peddling and it should sort itself out.

capita33 · 2012-11-08T17:44:24+00:00

logged in to say you have nice wheels :)

tbestor · 2012-11-08T17:53:50+00:00

just ride he won't be there long .. or at least most of him wont.

b0utch · 2012-11-08T17:57:06+00:00

Snake on the bike. Best movie ever.

g-raf · 2012-11-08T17:58:14+00:00

Start riding and tear that shit up

rightfullrudder · 2012-11-08T18:07:38+00:00

That's a nice bike. Avid Elixirs and a SRAM X-0?

rufaterd · 2012-11-08T18:13:10+00:00

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Ovitz · 2012-11-08T18:14:40+00:00

Chain rhymes with plane.

frogsrbetter · 2012-11-08T18:21:15+00:00

If not for sits, why is it made of warm pointy metal?

epsilonalpha · 2012-11-08T18:36:14+00:00

Nice bike, btw...

Parthros · 2012-11-08T18:38:34+00:00

I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!

im_at_work_now · 2012-11-08T18:40:24+00:00

Just. Start. Pedaling.

Faster.

unicornbunny · 2012-11-08T18:44:22+00:00

Welcome to Australia!

shlockin · 2012-11-08T18:46:22+00:00

Probably works better than a U-bar lock

Fightbuddy · 2012-11-08T18:48:30+00:00

/r/mtb

josawalk · 2012-11-08T18:49:20+00:00

Is this a sequel? Snakes on a Chain.

Mrkickling · 2012-11-08T18:52:49+00:00

Snakes on a chain

peachbuzz · 2012-11-08T18:56:12+00:00

Try hot sauce on your bike- Dilute with water and spray hot sauce on the area they will prob avoid it after that... Crazy snake

adzug · 2012-11-08T19:02:02+00:00

its a beauty shame its mangled

H0l0 · 2012-11-08T19:05:30+00:00

poor snake

vese · 2012-11-08T19:08:05+00:00

So THAT'S the random stranger that fixed that guys bike chain...

mspmsp123 · 2012-11-08T19:22:03+00:00

Next movie, 'Snakes on a Bike'

qwerdf · 2012-11-08T19:52:45+00:00

It could be worse.

There could be snakes on EVERY chain!

VestaDear · 2012-11-08T20:42:57+00:00

I once spent 20 minutes staring at my chain, waiting for the spider on it to drop low enough on it so I could stomp on it.

I have no idea how I would handle a snake.

Marzipan_Brain · 2012-11-08T21:29:51+00:00

That's a well spec'd bike. Easton EA90 wheels, Avid XX brakes, a SRAM PG990 cassette and judging by the rest of the spec a SRAM X0 mech?

harry_deepwood · 2012-11-08T14:57:51-07:00

thank you for not censoring yourself with those faggot ass *s.

Yage2006 · 2012-11-08T22:01:04+00:00

I am tired of this motherfucking meme. And the movie wasn't even that good.

djguerito · 2012-11-08T22:23:40+00:00

Poor guy:(

A_User · 2012-11-08T22:59:45+00:00

Start pedaling. Problem solved.

Kinomi · 2012-11-09T00:34:13+00:00

I'd shit myself

mailmanjohn · 2012-11-09T06:36:05+00:00

Here in California the only thing that gets stuck in my bike chain is squirrels; those little guys seem to have a death wish.

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