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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Zdudeski 2210 points2211 points ago

I imagine a man solemnly walking out in his yard and slowly lowering the flag , taking a deep sigh and then walking quietly back into his house.

[–]topherotica 1687 points1688 points ago

As he makes his way in through the large french doors of his home he slowly shuts them behind him. He takes a seat in a large recliner while his wife prepares a meal in the background. Contemplating in silence and staring at a blank television he pours a glass of scotch, neat. "No work today," he mutters to himself. "Not feeling well."

[–]meatboat2tunatown 1275 points1276 points ago

The scotch slides down the back of his throat, smoky and peaty. It warms his chest and makes him think of better days. The man sighs and unbuttons his shirt, revealing a red, oily, quivering mass of bone, cartilage, and soft, fleshy tissue protruding from his solar plexus. "Cuato," he murmurs..."Cuato...what now Cuato?"

[–]DoesntFearZeus 1149 points1150 points ago

"Start the revolution." Cuato says. "Free Kolob."

[–]Dranx 860 points861 points ago

He beckons his wife Amata over to him. As she appears into his vision, he says in a low, Clint Eastwood like voice, "Bring me the chest in the attic." Cuato hasn't opened this chest since he came back from 'Nam.

[–]syed2007 713 points714 points ago

Amata walks down the dry steps as they creak. The chest, a dampened worn out mahogany color, with its unpolished brass lock, and the rusted bottom reminded Cuato of his childhood. Still, Cuato remembers, more important than his childhood, his overbearing father. The father the town knew as a hero, but Cuato can only remember the suffering.

[–]Cheddabezze 585 points586 points ago

As he opens the chest the hinges let out a loud moan, the stale air from 30 something years ago rush into his nostrils quicker than the bullets that flew past him in Vietnam. Memories flood his head and he is overwhelmed with emotions. Anger, hatred, remorse, But also friendship, camaraderie and love. As he awakens from his trip down memory lane and small picture appears in the corner of his eye. Cuato quickly glances over and snatches it. Amata, after seeing the look on Cuato's face, asks him who the picture was of.

[–]odix 546 points547 points ago

"Renaldi"... murmurs Cuato. Renaldi was an old time Vietnam prosititute, and she had been through some rough times. Her country, once invaded by the North, had forced her into some unimaginable positions. Amata's face steamed with anger and embarassment, and she demanded the picture from Cuato, when the old man....

[–]Cheddabezze 499 points500 points ago

Threw a left hook so devastatingly powerful that Cuato could feel his own jaw shake. Amata hit the floor, and Cuato dropped to his knees in shame. Tears began to form a small puddle underneath his hanging head, another puddle came into focus of Cuato's eyes as it mixed in with his tears. It was Amata's blood. As she lay there motionless and not breathing he knew he had to make a decision, fast.

[–]TAC0001 393 points394 points ago

Looking inside the chest once more, the old man saw his old revolver. Yes, that would have to do. An old adage from his platoon commander suddenly flashed through his mind... "killing someone is the easy part; making them disappear is where the work is."

With a deep breath and the precision of a surgeon, he used the butt of the gun to knock out all of Amata's teeth from her lifeless mouth. He then cut all of her hair off and shaved any remaining stands.

[–]SsslitheringSissster 7 points8 points ago

...tore it into pieces, letting the ruined bits of film and paper flutter to the floor in a messy flurry.

"It's the past Amata, and that's where it'll stay. For now, at least."

His voice was dry and raspy and though Amata's lips drew themselves into a thin, hard line, she remained utterly silent in response.

His wrinkled hand reached out and sifted through the other contents, shifting his father's watch chain, and carefully moving the collected detritus of all his years.

Kolob, Kolob, said a tiny voice in his mind. Finally, he felt his fingertips brush against paper so old it felt it would crumble from the mere pressure. Carefully, he seized and withdrew the weathered envelope from the chest.

[–]UhOhPoopedIt 255 points256 points ago

[–]angrydeuce 310 points311 points ago

Goddamnit do I fucking love storytime on Reddit...

[–]stefan_89 52 points53 points ago

Seriously, is there a subreddit for this kind of shit?

[–]GodxofxThunder 36 points37 points ago

/r/WritingPrompts is a subreddit dedicated to writing based on the different prompts of the poster. One of them is "continuing story" in which each part of a story is written by different posters or in a back and forth sort of style.

[–]AlwaysChildish 212 points213 points ago

the fuck?

[–]mens_libertina 105 points106 points ago

Total Recall

[–]fartsinscubasuit 12 points13 points ago

Hush hush, child. It'll be alright.

[–]A_Piece_of_Pie 23 points24 points ago

You and the people above you might like /r/writeastory!

[–]WhereAreMyDragons 268 points269 points ago

If he's like all my Republican friends on facebook, he's thinking, "Better go to work so all the people on welfare don't have to." They actually think people support Obama because they want to live off the government forever. Such a stupid, frustrating stereotype.

[–]Styoxy 178 points179 points ago

Ignorance is on both sides. I hate seeing people on either party making foolish statements.

[–]ChefRamsyou 72 points73 points ago

So true, as a county clerks employee you would not believe some of the things I heard and saw yesterday from both Democrats and Republicans. I heard two black gentlemen say "I'm not voting for anything else other than for my nigga, gotta vote for my black people." I also heard a lady go up to a voter services employee and say "I just want to vote for all the Republicans, but I don't know who they are." Ignorance is on both sides.

[–]washmo 217 points218 points ago

As an independent, I just hate seeing people in either party.

[–]beeboppizzacat 209 points210 points ago

As a person, I just hate people.

[–]synth3tk 20 points21 points ago

Agreed.

[–]edstatue 97 points98 points ago

Not to say that the majority think this way, but I personally know several people who do. They have no shame admitting it, either.

They are no-good drunks, if that sheds light on their situations.

[–]Requi3m 68 points69 points ago

They actually think people support Obama because they want to live off the government forever.

To be fair, some people do. There are several relevant youtube videos from the last election.

[–]Fuck_my_username 69 points70 points ago

You might not have grown up around a lot of poor people but I know dozens of families where everyone will vote Democrat their entire lives without knowing the issues at all to preserve the safety nets they're on.

It's not at all the norm, but I wouldn't say it's much of an exception either in my experience.

[–]omegaterra 81 points82 points ago

I'm glad to hear you know dozens of families voting for the welfare they receive. My personal experience growing up in a large family and in a community that were without a doubt leeches on society is that they don't vote period. These are people finding every possible way to get by without any effort on their part.

My youngest brother was coached by my mom to be stupid so he could be in slow classes just so she could collect money. My step dad collected SSI and worked for a construction company under the table so he could get undeserved money tax free. I could list an easy 50+ people I've spent significant amounts of time with whose full time job is trying to not have a full time job.

What do they all have in common? Not a damn one of them votes. When it comes to government they have nothing to say outside of what you would read on a bumper sticker. They couldn't care less who is president... guess that's not entirely true, they like to bitch about a "nigger being president". If forced to vote, they would without a doubt vote for Romney this election.

At 18 I bolted from that cesspit and have essentially cut all ties with my family for reasons beyond welfare fraud.

[–]mechanate 5 points6 points ago

Let me guess...they think you're the asshole.

[–]omegaterra 7 points8 points ago

Well, I can admit to actually being a bit of an asshole. It's certainly not for the reasons they would imply but I believe "stuck up asshole" was the term my mom used when she called me on New Years. She also proceeded to talk shit about her own mother, whose been dead for years and was the only person in the clan I cared about.

[–]bacon_cake 22 points23 points ago

"Next time"

[–]thebluebook 539 points540 points ago

That's actually very tasteful.

[–]tomorrowwillbekinder 261 points262 points ago

It's probably my favorite display of republican anger/frustration that I've seen since yesterday.

[–]yesiamthankyou2 88 points89 points ago

It's certainly more tasteful than what's been going down on Twitter.

[–]grimpoteuthis 21 points22 points ago

Donald Trump's tweets are fucking hilarious and sad.

[–]juanzy 12 points13 points ago

Don't even get me started on the Trust Fund kids I went to high school with who are still on my Facebook friends list...

[–]scarflash 10 points11 points ago

In many ways this election brought out peoples' true colors. I hadn't gone on twitter in a while and went yesterday and was stunned by some of the tweets from friends of mine in highschool like "go fuck yourself. asswipe", "no point in going to school tomorrow", and "literally crying right now"

wtf???????

[–]AndyRooney 2295 points2296 points ago

Those are the best kind of Republicans. Ones with a sense of humor.

[–]kanfayo 1894 points1895 points ago

I would say those with a sense of humor are the best kind of any person.

[–]rsharma21 937 points938 points ago

Nope. Clowns. They're scary man

[–]usernameblank 434 points435 points ago

and Gilbert Gottfried

[–]rsharma21 263 points264 points ago

Imagine him as a clown....I feel like that was what he was born to do.

[–]My_ducks_sick 131 points132 points ago

I'm pretty sure that was Tim Curry's inspiration when he portrayed Pennywise the Dancing Clown.

[–]Mr_Incredible_PhD 110 points111 points ago

BEEP BEEP Richie! They ALL float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!

[–]GroundhogExpert 5 points6 points ago

HOLY MOTHER OF NIGHTMARES!

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 37 points38 points ago

Gilbert is funny as hell.

[–]DShepard 27 points28 points ago

[–]linasas123 73 points74 points ago

I never understood this clown phobia thing

[–]dinserdinser 70 points71 points ago

I don't have a clown phobia, but I totally understand it. A stranger, concealing his true face behind a garish matte of paint, chases children around with wild antics. Oftentimes they are accompanied by scary laughter. I'm actually surprised I am not afraid of them.

[–]Risifrutti 40 points41 points ago

It's the falseness of them that creeps me out the most. Their laughter and smiles are all but lies. They are nothing more then empty husks desperately trying to cover up the black hole within them with makeup, bright colours, smiles and laughter.

They lie to you, they cant be trusted.

[–]TicTacsss 100 points101 points ago

You never watched "It" as a child then...

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 63 points64 points ago

First it was Zelda (Pet Sematary) and then Pennywise, Stephen King really messed with my childhood.

[–]TicTacsss 69 points70 points ago

Must be why you fuck squids now...

[–]FEUREAU_IN_MY_ANUS 71 points72 points ago

Imagine waking up to see this ;_;

[–]Earlgrey_fanatic 96 points97 points ago

I keep looking at the gif, expecting the thing to jump at the camera... except I'm not sure if the gif already looped or is just really long.

I need an adult.

[–]DELTATKG 7 points8 points ago

According to gifexplode there are only 8 frames. So no, it's not going to jump at you.

[–]andyoutcast 40 points41 points ago

[–]OMGWTFROFLOL 11 points12 points ago

A bowl that popcorn randomly shoots out of... That's something I want to have.

[–]postal_blowfish 11 points12 points ago

neither do they.

it's a phobia

[–]1337Lulz 17 points18 points ago

Clowns are funny?

[–]tubadeedoo 91 points92 points ago

If you enjoy laughing at crippling alcoholism in rainbow clothing, yes.

[–]Suboptimus 312 points313 points ago

They could very well be serious...you can never tell when it comes to politics.

[–]TheJulie 498 points499 points ago

If they were serious, it'd be the American flag flying at half mast.

[–]backofamotorbike 215 points216 points ago

Or upside down.

Source: live in a contentious state that went red last night.

[–]thisisntnamman 120 points121 points ago

How is NC doing these days

[–]backofamotorbike 94 points95 points ago

I suppose we've been better. Really enjoying the veiled racist remarks and angry old people tears at work today. I think someone needs to remind the Republicans that they swept everything else in our state.

[–]BigBadMrBitches 7 points8 points ago

I'm not who you asked, but I'm good.

[–]tartay745 51 points52 points ago

The best part of religiously following Nate Silver? No disappointment. I was hoping it would somehow go blue but was not surprised by the result.

[–]binocusecond 9 points10 points ago

You might like this piece then, I thought it was very interesting: Why political journalists can’t stand Nate Silver: The limits of journalistic knowledge

[–]necrosxiaoban 7 points8 points ago

It took me about fifteen minutes of reading through Nate Silver's blog a few weeks ago to convince me that the guy knew what he was talking about and was almost certainly accurate. And I'm in the GOP.

[–]Fuck_my_username 239 points240 points ago

I am a staunch conservative (in the economic sense) and will likely never vote Republican if they keep letting religion dominate their party.

I agree with this picture 100%, their party is dead right now. An Obama win was hopefully the best thing for them. I would love to vote GOP, but I won't vote for small government and sound economic policy coming from a man who, at any point in his life, thought that pinning down a gay kid and shaving his head was a good idea.

[–]lik-a-do-da-cha-cha 74 points75 points ago

You and I are kindred spirits. I hate what my party has become.

[–]Fuck_my_username 31 points32 points ago

You might find happiness in the Libertarian Party with me.

[–]Vanetia 53 points54 points ago

Unfortunately "Libertarian" has become "Republicans too embarrassed to call themselves republicans but who still vote straight ticket because they're not Libertarians at all"

Catch phrase: "I didn't like Bush, but..."

[–]BasedGrimes 6 points7 points ago

This. That and the current GOP are NOT fiscal conservatives.

[–]danintexas 186 points187 points ago

I am a conservative - Not a republican - Voted Gary - but don't like the Dems policies at fucking all. But you know what - My life is not hanging on who is in a political office. I am getting a ton of laughs from these sad people on the right who are claiming - the world is over. lol Just sad.

[–]CrossCheckPanda 75 points76 points ago

Yep, my views as well. I like to call myself an "ex-republican" who is voting libertarian until someone mainstream wants to balance the budget for real.

But anyways, I knew republicans AND democrats who claimed they were moving out of America forever if they lost. It was ridiculous, its 4 effing years. Not having a strong favorite (imho both Obama and Romney would have been rough on the budget), I was able watch everything play out with relatively less bias than usual. It was like watching some bizarre sports game where everyones fans are huge assholes.

Also, I think you were agreeing with the original comment but flying a flag half mast is pretty funny in my opinion.

[–]ShwaggBags 13 points14 points ago

Curious about what policies in particular that you are against?

[–]yiikes10 1226 points1227 points ago

This clearly humorous action actually surprisingly has a lot of depth. Many of the more moderate people in the republican party are seriously concerned about the future of their party.

edit: added a word

[–]IHeartAmber 433 points434 points ago

Better double-down on the extremism if they want to win in 2016, Am I right?

[–]cyress_avitus 457 points458 points ago

Clearly, writing off 18-29 year olds, blacks, social liberals and hispanics is the way forward.

[–]IHeartAmber 545 points546 points ago

"TIL 18-29 year olds, blacks, social liberals and Hispanics vote" - the GOP

[–]noobfriedrice 241 points242 points ago

"This is unheard of, how do we stop it?" - next sentence

[–]whatevers_clever 219 points220 points ago

"Require photo ID. Because Blacks can't get photo ID - too hard to see them." - next sentence

[–]Agave 71 points72 points ago

"Also we'll teach our sons Spanish. Hispanics will vote against their best interests if you tell them to do it in Spanish." -next sentence

[–]downr0deo 25 points26 points ago

"In 2016, we'll put one of those "skilled worker" centers that they have in front of Home Depot in front of the RNC." - next sentence

[–]sfwalt 54 points55 points ago

And the women, unless you want to rape them.

[–]LikesToSmile 40 points41 points ago

As a woman, the fact that so much of the message (from both sides) was about my reproductive organs is offensive.

[–]saracuda 34 points35 points ago

I'm pretty pissed that I was basically forced to vote for Obama solely because I was afraid of losing my rights. It should never have been an issue and shame on them for making it one.

[–]Frankeh 131 points132 points ago

Why don't the moderates of the republican party split off into their own party? Moderate republicans.

Economically conservative, socially liberal.

[–]macskull 141 points142 points ago

It's the shitty thing about the two-party system. If they split into a different party, you'd have two different people running and your voter base would be split between the two - you'd have Democrats voting for one guy and Republicans voting for two or more. Many independent candidates tend to attract people who would normally vote Republican so what ends up happening is the Democrat gets all the votes he would normally, but the Republican gets less because some of his voter base voted for a different guy. If the Republican party splits they're essentially cannibalizing themselves.

[–]slow_reaction 62 points63 points ago

Except the radical Republicans are so far right that the moderate Republicans would inevitably pick up some moderate Democrats on some issues. I think we could easily see a 3 party system for a few upcoming elections and then back to the two once the radical Republicans die of old age.

[–]Tempos 23 points24 points ago

As someone who connsiders themself pretty moderate, I voted for Obama for the past 2 elections. This year the vote for Obama came easy, Romney really was to far to the right for my liking. 08 was a different story though, I was all behind McCain until he picked Palin. He was a good moderate canidate until he chose her, she took him too far to the right wing for my taste, and thus Obama became the new moderate canidate, and thus won that vote. If a more moderate party could be formed, I could realistically see many people leave their partylines to get closer to the middle of that political spectrum

[–]Thexare 19 points20 points ago

Yeah. I'm pretty left-leaning, but before Palin I would've been okay with a McCain victory. Not my preferred option, but he seemed a reasonable enough person.

Then came 2010 and everyone jumped off the crazy cliff.

[–]LooneyMD 69 points70 points ago

That is essentially the Libertarian platform. Unfortunately no one realizes it (yet).

[–]etrnloptimist 22 points23 points ago

That's because they're too busy trying to legalize all drugs which alienates the majority of the people who feel philosophically aligned with them.

[–]hmunkey 29 points30 points ago

Also a lot of libertarian policies are downright terrifying to the biggest names behind the moderate wing of the GOP -- people on Wall Street, businessmen, etc. It's hard for people heavily involved in financial activity to take a politician seriously when they talk about the gold standard and the Fed in such abstract and misinformed terms, regardless of how sane everything else about their platform is.

At least with evangelical nutjobs, you can manipulate them into voting for "once" pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, Mormons.

[–]asaturn 806 points807 points ago

maybe they should quit electing assholes

[–]anangrybanana 1040 points1041 points ago

We're trying. It's all the hardcore bible-thumping gay-bashers that are fucking it up for the rest of us and voting for the assholes.

[–]World_Globetrotter 451 points452 points ago

The moderate wing of the party is FURIOUS over the way the Senate races went down. At the beginning of the election cycle the Senate was almost in the bag for the GOP and now they ended up LOSING two net seats all because of terrible primary decisions (i.e. Indiana). Civil War is coming and as a Moderate Republican its about damn time.

[–]CowFu 232 points233 points ago

Clair McCaskil in missouri was on the way out...until the republicans decided to find the worst person possible to run against her.

[–]mild_resolve 164 points165 points ago

Interestingly, McCaskin ran "attack ads" against Akin during the GOP primary that were intended to actually help him. It's brilliant and hilarious.

Here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec4t_3vaBMc&feature=player_embedded

[–]havespacesuit 37 points38 points ago

Interestingly, McCaskin ran "attack ads" against Akin during the GOP primary that were intended to actually help him.

This is the first I've heard of the situation and I'm trying to parse what you're saying; do you mean that the incumbent ran ads that supported a candidate (during the GOP primary) that she had a better chance of beating?

And those ads were disguised as attack ads?

[–]helluin 37 points38 points ago

Exactly. It really is quite brilliant.

[–]havespacesuit 6 points7 points ago

^ ^ And that, my friends, is how politics is done. Apparently, haha.

[–]joggle1 63 points64 points ago

Looks like the McCaskin team learned a thing or two from the Colbert Report. Awesome!

[–]cdskip 40 points41 points ago

Yeah, the political scientist/analyst they had on CBS in Columbia last night was speaking really admiringly of the way the McCaskill campaign played that whole situation to the best possible advantage.

[–]politicalanalysis 26 points27 points ago

That is hilarious. Wow.

[–]reckonerX 7 points8 points ago

you're really living up to your username

[–]ChrisAndersen 14 points15 points ago

Should be interesting, since the tea party has such a strong claim on the House. If we see a civil war between House and Senate Republicans the coming negotiations with Obama and the Dems could be very entertaining.

[–]hmunkey 21 points22 points ago

It's not gonna be chaotic or anything like you seem to think. Remember, virtually all the Republican donors and kingmakers fit solidly in the moderate branch of the party, so it'll just come to a point where they no longer want to tolerate the nutjobs. As it stands, they've put up with them for this long because those nutjobs support them on the issues they care most about.

Nobody in the finance industry is racist or homophobic -- they're literally all based out of Manhattan and work in a fully globalized business. And good luck finding an anti-immigration CEO or a stockbroker who thinks Jesus talks to him.

Something similar happened within the Democratic Party when civil rights became a core plank issue and southern Democrats revolted. And in all likelihood, another similar incident will happen in the next 20 or so years when the DNC stops pandering to the black vote and begins to largely ignore them; after all, they are no longer the most important minority and soon they won't even be in the top 2, and their fundamental beliefs are quite different from the college-educated whites who make up the Democratic leadership.

But yeah, the GOP will eventually have to realign to the middle and in doing so will probably lose an election pretty horribly (or conversely, a terrible landslide loss will force them to realign). But after that, they'll be much more competitive without their controversial baggage.

[–]celtic1888 128 points129 points ago

Reagan and Co started 'palling' around with the Moral Majority

Now you got a two headed monster of tea party and fundamentalist wingnuts controlling your party.

I don't think you will ever recover. Your unofficial mouthpieces Fox/Limbaugh are already blaming the loss on Romney not being conservative enough.

I see them doubling down on crazy before they go moderate

[–]World_Globetrotter 73 points74 points ago

They are currently reaping what they sowed in 2010. They sold their soul for the House and ended up screwing themselves here in 2012.

[–]anangrybanana 49 points50 points ago

It'd be great if moderate Republicans could form their own branch like the Tea Party, only not batshit insane and hate-driven.

[–]maxaemilianus 61 points62 points ago

The GOP is going to destroy itself. I hoped for but did not expect to see any humility in defeat. McConnell jumped right back up and insisted he was going to continue jamming up the Senate. I have no doubt Boehner, if re-elected as Speaker, is going to continue to let the rug rats run wild.

The problem with the GOP is their 11th Commandment. "Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican." It is interestingly enough a Reagan-era development which allowed the GOP to unite rival factions and present a consistent profile to their opposition, but the problem with marching in lock-step (as the Nazis might tell you) is when you can't criticize your own, you can't fix problems.

The 11th Commandment, in my mind, is directly responsible for problems like Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Tom DeLay, Iran-Contra, Michael Brown, the Katrina disaster, the Iraq War, and so on.

They can't purge hypocrites or criminals because no matter how despicable a scumbag crook they get to run for office, he's "better than a Democrat."

They can't put a stop to bad, reckless ideas because Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner.

They can't get rid of ineffective fuckwits because No Republican Is Ever Wrong.

And that just seems to be an open, engraved on brass invitation to nutjobs and extremists to run away with the party's identity. For decades now, no Republican can speak against Rush Limbaugh no matter how unpopular he really is, no matter how stupid he sounds, no matter how much of a liar or a fraud or a crook he is increasingly revealed to be, because Limbaugh is the biggest, loudest bully in the GOP and anyone who crosses him is politically dead meat. And, he has nobody to put a check on him, nobody he answers to (because he is not an elected politician). Similar problem with Grover Norquist.

Until the GOP learns humility (which they never will) they're going to keep doing this to themselves. They're not going to back off the Southern Strategy, they're not going to stop insulting Latinos and gays and women, they're not going to stop putting knuckle-dragging animals up for election, and as the demographics of the US rapidly shift, they're going to get marginalized to the South, then to oblivion.

The vacuum of that power is going to open up on the left, the Democrats will become the "conservative" party (they already are, something most liberals don't get, and no Republican has a chance of understanding) and the GOP will blow away like so much fartgas.

[–]PDK01 6 points7 points ago

+1 for final sentence.

[–]paranoidinfidel 78 points79 points ago

How does a non-bible thumping non-gay-bashing Republican differ from a Democrat? How are the values different - is it all down to Obamacare? I'm an ignorant foreigner and don't know.

[–]ivan2294 39 points40 points ago

I think it has to do with the fact that Religion and Gay marriage aren't the only issues that Democrats and Republicans take sides on...

[–]b1ackcat 63 points64 points ago

When looking at the left (democrats) and the right (republicans), there's two main types of issues to look at: Fiscal (the budget, government spending, etc) and Social (abortion, gay rights, etc).

There are a some people who are very far left/right on both, but many are more "middle" on fiscal or social, and stick to their party because of a strong lean toward the other.

For example, a non-bible thumping non-gay-bashing republican is probably a fiscal conservative, who believes in smaller government and less spending, but doesn't necessarily have a hatred towards gays or an affinity for the bible. They may still believe in "traditional family values", but that doesn't mean they're the same as the vitriol spewing assholes you see in picket lines.

[–]mischiefscott 15 points16 points ago

I totally agree with this assessment within a context, but what I can't understand is how GWBush falls under the umbrella of conservative when his spending habits were atrocious, and how he supposedly reflected small government yet took a large amount of education control from the States?

[–]b1ackcat 15 points16 points ago

Bush was put in office and then 1 year later, the entire country changed forever with Sept. 11th. He didn't really have the opportunity to be the "president who doesn't spend much".

He did a really shitty job in how he spent the money, but to not have had a military retaliatory response would've been a disaster.

You've got me on Education, but then again, there's a lot about Bush that doesn't make a whole lotta sense :/

[–]Tomcat5 81 points82 points ago

Generally the moderate Republicans are just fiscally conservative and fit the Libertarian party pretty well. I identify as Republican simply so I can vote in primaries but vote based on my principles which aren't necessarily the Republican party's platform. I'm many ways it has turned into a party of old white men but (I think) the country needs is just fiscally conservative principles to get us out of this economic mess.

[–]politicalanalysis 109 points110 points ago

Libertarians are not moderate.

Moderate Republicans want a slightly smaller government are apposed to huge tax increases, but aren't going to take tax increases off the table. They recognize the need for some federal programs. They also recognize that some things like social issues shouldn't be made into political issues.

They want fiscal responsibility, but not at the cost of extreme cuts across the board. They favor a mix (probably a higher ratio of cuts to tax increases than Obama would like, but still a mix) of tax increases and spending cuts.

Libertarians (not all, but the truly libertarian bunch) want almost no federal government (see plans to eliminate FEMA, PBS, NASA, and others) but also want people to decide on social issues for themselves.

There is a difference, and to be honest a Ron Paul presidency would scare me just as much as a Mitt Romney one.

Edit: if you are Libertarian and disagree with this assessment, please correct me, but libertarians I met are far from moderate when it comes to fiscal policy.

[–]GuyBouchersScar 10 points11 points ago

Well said. I count myself a moderate Republican and basically everything you said fit me. And it's good that you nipped the "Moderate Republican=Libertarian" argument right in the bud.

[–]tikael 34 points35 points ago

The democratic party is a "big tent" party. There are conservative leaning members of the party (The blue dogs for example), there are moderate members of the party (President Obama), and there are left leaning members of the party (Progressive caucus). There aren't too many far left wing people I can think of actually in power.

The Republican party is a shrinking tent party, their candidates pass through GOP "purity" tests, sign on to Grover Nordquists tax pledge, and inject religion into their politics ensuring that they will not compromise. I cannot for the life of me explain why the moderate republicans and conservatives have not abandoned the party all together. They would fit in with the blue dog democrats just fine (In fact we are seeing a larger number of independents this year and that rise seems to come at the expense of the republicans. People are leaving the party but still voting republican. Possibly because the Republican brand is toxic in some areas of the country).

[–]billthethird 6 points7 points ago

That's an interesting point about restrictions on who can be part of the GOP. Politics of exclusion don't work long-term, and I think we're seeing some of those long-term effects start to take shape.

[–]su5 19 points20 points ago

To win the nomination it is a sprint to the right. To win the election they then need to sprint to the center

[–]Psirocking 18 points19 points ago

Well, at least it wasn't Santorum.

[–]P10_WRC 91 points92 points ago

nominating assholes

[–]chijourno 13 points14 points ago

Longtime U.S. Sen. from Kansas Nancy Landon Kassebaum is the kind of Republican your party will never get back and the only kind of Republican I could consider voting for: moderate, pragmatic and science-based.

[–]dclowd9901 165 points166 points ago

God, my fucking Facebook feed reads like the diaries of Holocaust survivors.

[–]captainfluffybunny 114 points115 points ago

No kidding, mine too. I am no big fan of Obama, but we have had worse, and romney just came across like a cheating liar that would steal your grandmas panties if he thought he could make a dime off of them.

That and he was flat out creepy...and has creepy kids, and has a creepy running mate who looks too much like Eddy Munster.

That aside, there are people I know on FB that are in their early 20's and talk about "way back when our country had morals and integrity", and I think to myself, fuck...I was in the Army when you were not even thought of yet and the country never had this awesome glow of "morals and integrity" that I ever saw, so you are just telling yourself stories at this point.

I feel like telling people to just calm the fuck down and go to work like nothing has changed; because not much has changed.

Obama isn't going to all of a sudden say: "Hey since I don't have to worry about a re-election anymore I might as well come out with the truth. I am a muslim socialist terrorist, and I have created a presidential mandate saying that Islam is now the only acceptable religion and it is mandatory. Also, all back people are now your bosses, and white people are going to be moved by cattle car to the inner cities to see how the other half lived."

[–]BallsToTheWall84 23 points24 points ago

muslim socialist terrorist

Don't you mean gay muslim socialist atheist ACLU lawyer?

[–]captainfluffybunny 13 points14 points ago

I am so sorry...I thought that the terms were interchangeable. My bad.

[–]deathcomesilent 74 points75 points ago

You got to admit, that's about as classy as humor gets.

[–]TINcubes 179 points180 points ago

Where the fuck is the reflection of the car coming from?

EDIT - My good buddy Ol lefteye took the time to explain how the physical world works. I appreciate the effort..... although i still dont understand why the flat window is reflecting at such an odd angle.

[–]xolieo 97 points98 points ago

It's not a reflection. Dude drove his car into the living room.

[–]Ol_Lefteye 125 points126 points ago

Simply follow a line through one part of the flag and the reflection of the flag:

http://imgur.com/nxWFe

[–]TINcubes 18 points19 points ago

well il be damned. That shole is a spiffy trick!

[–]LetMeStateTheObvious 28 points29 points ago

The photo is clearly taken from OP's second floor. The car is out of view, parked below the bottom left corner of the picture.

[–]tinkerbell77 21 points22 points ago

I don't think the house is quite square to the street and the car is just outside of the image to the left.

[–]MOONGOONER 18 points19 points ago

car is clearly a vampire

[–]Eklitias 5 points6 points ago

Uh. It's some kind of a reverse vampire then.

[–]Bronan_the_Brobarian 47 points48 points ago

Holy shit

[–]DubiumGuy 37 points38 points ago

[–]Jdgicker 500 points501 points ago

alright i would like to address the elephant in the room: Bbbrrrrrphhhh bbbbrrrraaah brrrrrrraph prrdududududu. He gets it.

[–]XavierMendel 98 points99 points ago

Moo.

(Am I doing this right?)

[–]ChickenShoes 124 points125 points ago

Stop it, you're offending my wife.

[–]Jdgicker 15 points16 points ago

i apologize...i would not want to step on her toes, lest she reciprocate.

[–]garaging 28 points29 points ago

I'd like to think so, yes.

[–]miggitymikeb 7 points8 points ago

The Fithp are not amused by your mocking of their language.

[–]TMarkos 7 points8 points ago

One rarely sees references to Footfall in political debates. Given the range of available elephant puns, this is kind of surprising in retrospect.

[–]rooklaw 283 points284 points ago

I'd actually fly it upside down, since the GOP is in serious distress.

[–]cocotel69 54 points55 points ago

Came here to say this. Half-mast is typically signifies "in remembrance." Full-mast, but upside down is a sign of distress.

Both would really fit, but the GOP is not dead, it's just in distress. I used to be GOP until it went to the religious right. I didn't change, they pushed me out. They fix that, they get me back.

[–]betafish37 73 points74 points ago

But then it would be the POG...

[–]sneakersotoole 171 points172 points ago

Remember Pogs? They're back, in Alf form!

[–]Mikey-2-Guns 86 points87 points ago

[–]HatesRedditors 11 points12 points ago

Damn, i think i spent about 10% of that on an illegal slammer.

[–]clamdever 40 points41 points ago

Not ԀOפ?

[–]kingoftown 110 points111 points ago

Yes, this is dog

[–]moosetender 39 points40 points ago

For some reason, just viewing that image made Taps play in my head.

[–]Newshoe 51 points52 points ago

"With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played... gently. "

[–]frickindeal 14 points15 points ago

You used up all the glue...on purpose.

NOTAFINGA.

[–]karenias 9 points10 points ago

This is off topic, but is your name "New shoe" or "News hoe?"

[–]Newshoe 34 points35 points ago

Yes

[–]BlueJayAggie 33 points34 points ago

Ghost Car, get out of the window. You're scaring the neighbors.

[–]totally_photoshopped 17 points18 points ago

[–]vertigo3pc 9 points10 points ago

He should fly the flag upside down, acknowledging the emergency and danger his party is in...

[–]Shellpath 15 points16 points ago

Finally a democratic president! The end of Gitmo, foreign wars, drones, executive orders, and draconian copyright laws is near!

[–]therealjgreens 28 points29 points ago

That flag is mast below the 47% line of the pole.

[–]spunkymarimba 28 points29 points ago

Did their elephant die?

[–]2_EASY_2_REGISTER 32 points33 points ago

I'm just going to repost (with referential edits) what I said about the GOP after this on Facebook--

In the 'well, the population hasn't gone completely stupid yet' category, out of 6 ballot initiatives to amend the State Constitution, not a one passed. Numbers wise, most of them failed by a lot.

So, we're willing to experiment with politicians that change regularly by design (sort of, the Senate really needs term limits) but less so for things that once changed take a huge process to get rid of. There is hope for the Republic in this.

And as expected, Rush is blaming the Romney loss on 'going to close to the middle' and 'not running a conservative campaign.' No, Rush, the loss is based on the fact that the NeoCons took over the party and turned it into something us less radical conservatives just can't vote straight ticket for anymore.

You want a chance at all at ANY major election for the next 20 years now GOP? Listen carefully, this is what you really need to do:

1) Tell the NeoCons to fuck off.

2) Tell the Old Boys Establishment to fuck off.

3) Just. Stop. Talking. EVER. About. Any. Of. The. Following. -- Rape, Abortion, Religion, Gays, Drugs, Death penalties, tax cuts for the rich, trickle down. I, know, that doesn't really leave you much besides the Economy and the Military. That's because that's the only things you get half right these days. Otherwise, YOU NEED NEW SHIT TO TALK ABOUT!

4) Stop running on family values and God when you can't keep your fucking dick in your pants. REALLY stop when you not only can't keep your dick in your pants, but you stick it in other guys. I'm an asshole and non-religious, and I can honor my wife and vows more than you fucks.

5) Tell the NeoCons to fuck off. (I know this is listed twice. It's important)

6) Stop running your campaign based on ideas from Muckrakers (read: Talk Radio). They are not real news, I don't think they even know how math works, stop listening to their ideas except as entertainment (Think of Rush Limbaugh as The Onion for conservatives).

If you guys can't do this, can't change and adapt to the times (and I give democrats credit for this, they is mercurial motherfuckers) and still offer a real alternative (Hint: Romney as Obama light wasn't it) then you will have no power for the next 20 years, you will fall into irrelevance, and be replaced by the next party.

You remember what happened to the Whig party, right?

[–]xMrAx 371 points372 points ago

As a republican I am trying to accept the loss gracefully, but I've already been approached by at least 10 people who have rubbed the lose in my face calling me a political idiot among other things. This makes it really hard to not be a sore loser. Seriously just because I have a different viewpoint doesn't make me someone to be mocked.

EDIT: Some clarification. I pretty much voted on record. I personally dislike both candidates and understood based on record they have many of the same viewpoints. However, I felt Romney was able to accomplish more with less controversy as Governor of Massachusetts than Obama has done as four years as president. I hoped that Romney would be able to do the same thing in office, maybe naively.

Also I voted on this election based on economic, not social issues. I personally am for Gay rights, removing religion from education(even though I am religious), etc. I'm split on how I feel about abortion so I don't really identify with anything on that issue.

Also my first job out of college is going to be working for oil so yeah I'm going to vote for the guy who favors oil. Hate me if you want.

Finally for the people saying that Republicans made fun of Democrats in the 2000 election or said stupid shit in the 2008 election. This is the first presidential election I was eligible to vote in so stfu.

[–]karatechop250 247 points248 points ago

I apologize on behalf of the liberals for those rubbing it in your face. I respect your opinion and others should too. We both want what is best for America just have different ideas how to do it.

[–]tiffums 107 points108 points ago

We both want what is best for America just have different ideas how to do it.

The problem is that many people (mainly liberal, but not exclusively) do NOT believe the leaders of the GOP have America's best interests in heart-- merely their own business interests.

[–]WcJessen 59 points60 points ago

I don't think the individual Republican voter is to blame. The Republican Party just keeps scraping the bottom of the barrel for candidates that cater to the lowest common denominator of the party (extreme religious right).

[–]dehue 6 points7 points ago

I don't think the Republican Party picks the most extreme right candidates, they just manage to convert all their candidates to be far right if they aren't already. Romney as a governor was a lot more centrist than a lot of republicans, he actually run as a pro-choice candidate and at one point even said that he believed humans contributed to global warming.

[–]hwbehrens 9 points10 points ago

Losing an election is hard enough, but having someone rub your face in it is utterly crass. My apologies.

As the recipient of some pretty appalling behavior after the 2000 election, I vowed that win or lose, I would NEVER subject anyone to the same type of behavior that I experienced. I hope you will keep the same in mind when the shoe is back on the other foot.

[–]bdrago 7 points8 points ago

If 10 people felt the need to rub your face in it, it's likely because you participated in partisan attacks, possibly without realizing it.

I grew up in Texas, and most of my family is still there. It's been tough interacting with them because quite a few of them don't realize what they are sharing on Facebook is offensive, simply because everyone where they live agrees with them. I don't think they realize what they are doing. They are family and I love them, but I have to block them every election cycle. :)

Or it's possible all 10 were douchebags. We certainly have plenty.

[–]Pseudonova 14 points15 points ago

I agree. Although, I must add that my electorate is being called some pretty ugly things as well.

[–]LarsThorwald 249 points250 points ago

I'm sorry, but I have watched in utter exasperation for years as people like Jonah Goldberg and Ann Coulter publish books literally calling liberals Nazis, listened to Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and Hugh Hewitt and every drive time talk radio jock call the President a communist, a socialist, a fascist, and un-American. We had to suffer the serious entertainment by some politicians of conspiracists like Orly Taitz as they demand over and over for proof of the President's birthplace. I have seen the thinly-veiled racism of the signs hoisted by Tea Party activists who clogged the streets of D.C. over the summer of 2009, and have had my DEM sticker scraped off my car with a violent keying by some coward in the night. The stream of attack -- bigoted and otherwise -- against the President has been steady and vile, and when people I know found out I had campaigned for Obama in 2008, it wasn't unusual to hear a couple people call the President a nigger in my presence. And let's not forget the eight years of being told, beginning in 2000, "You Lost, Get Over It" by people who bore "Sore/Loserman" on their bumpers, and who in the years that followed would call you a traitor and ask, "Why do you hate America?" if you even so much as questioned the war in Iraq or the administration's policies.

But today we need to be nice to them? Pardon me for saying, but fuck that noise. I would like -- just for one fuicking day -- to rub it in the faces of assholes who claim to love America but hate Americans, who claim to love democracy, but work avidly to suppress it among minorities. You will excuse me for feeling no sympathy for your slight inconvenience at having to be the target of peaceful venting that the Republican party -- a party to which you belong -- so richly deserves.

[–]hitogokoro 63 points64 points ago

PREAAAAAAACH

[–]usedbandage9 10 points11 points ago

at least he has a sense of humor =]

[–]serious_sarcasm 96 points97 points ago

All jokes aside, the fact that they are flying a party flag without an American flag is very unpatriotic as it implies loyalty to the Party over the Nation.

Of course this is America, so do as you please and leave me the hell alone.

[–]KnifeyJames 30 points31 points ago

Having a party flag doesn't bother me. It's not as though he has this flying instead of an American flag; plenty of people don't fly flags, national or otherwise, in front of their houses, and I've known people who had flags up for sports teams or their state or what have you.

EDIT: Unless of course you're being seriously sarcastic. Or sarcastically serious.

[–]dirtyfries 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, my question would be did they have that flag up before, or is this just a post-election day joke?

[–]johnnyonthegspot 18 points19 points ago

Your neighbors need to better ventilate their attic

[–]Austinthedestroyer 11 points12 points ago

They will be fine, I'm almost positive obamacare covers butthurt.

[–]RichDelivers 107 points108 points ago

Elephant flag? WTF?

[–]yyZiggurat 167 points168 points ago

It is the mascot for the Republican party; the party that lost the presidential election yesterday. The mascot for the Democrats is a donkey.

I don't know why you're being downvoted, that isn't something I'd expect every non-American to know, assuming you are non-American.

[–]rshelmerdine 59 points60 points ago

Why elephant and donkey?

[–]USLawyer 88 points89 points ago

I don't recall the story about the Elephant, but the Donkey comes from the campaign of President Andrew Jackson. He was called a "jackass" so he took the donkey as his campaign logo and the Democrats have been using it ever since.

[–]Frankeh 81 points82 points ago

And I guess the Republicans are an elephant because they never forget. They still go on about bloody communism ffs.

[–]DickMoveAdam 7 points8 points ago

Actually, it's based on the phrase "seen the elephant," which means to come to sudden enlightenment.

[–]sg92i 5 points6 points ago

Though to be fair, Jackson pretty much was a jackass

[–]Druuseph 47 points48 points ago

Andrew Jackson was called a jackass at one point in one of his campaigns and because he had giant balls of steel and was all around insane he adopted the donkey as his symbol; the rest of the Democratic party followed suit.

The Republicans took the elephant after a political cartoon of a donkey dressed like a lion scaring all the animals away while the elephant, representing the Republicans, was supposed to be standing strong in opposition.

[–]yyZiggurat 12 points13 points ago

This site has a good explanation for it:

http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0881985.html

They're basically associations made in passing which each party has latched on to.

Fun fact: When Theodore Roosevelt failed to win the Republican nomination for this second term he created his own party. Its mascot was a Moose.

[–]candyman82 5 points6 points ago

A Bull Moose to be precise