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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]likk 549 points550 points ago

looks like a tattoo from jail

[–]Gourmay 185 points186 points ago

crossed with a doodle you do in high school on your notebooks.

[–]Chubby_Val_Kilmer 21 points22 points ago

[–]ShinyWisenheimer 4 points5 points ago

Is that Val Kilmer??

[–]wartexmaul 34 points35 points ago

Artist's gallery http://www.fuzi-uvtpk.com/en/gallery/tattoo.html

you have got to be shitting me. This dude is a fucking fraud.

[–]donwilson 10 points11 points ago

It looks like the skinny lined tattooing is his style and it's probably ultra hip to get a tattoo done by him in that style. His other art looks really good.

[–]25400micrometerman 54 points55 points ago

Specifically Superjail!

[–]andyhenault 8 points9 points ago

Why does every part of it resemble a dick?

[–]MIDASTRON 4 points5 points ago

That's Superjail for you..

[–]Jucks 17 points18 points ago

Yeah man. Even if you look beyond his "style", look at how embossed it is. That is just an indicator of poor skill; he put the needle too deep and made her bruise. I bet it hurt like a bitch. Most of his other work looks like that too. Those poor people.

*edit:a word there

[–]Silentwes 11 points12 points ago

Why do celebrities get tattoos that look like shit?! All the money power and time in the world to get an insanely good piece and THIS is what she chooses to live with forever. Boggles my mind every time.

[–]JumpingTheShart 59 points60 points ago

Brought to you by Lucky brand jeans.

[–]tasmanian101 10 points11 points ago

I love my Lucky brand jeans.

[–]transmigrant 276 points277 points ago

That is one really shitty tattoo. Having had something as equally horrible, I feel bad for her.

Edit: Had = covered up with a squid fighting a gorilla.

Edit 2: here you go.

[–]Vsx 155 points156 points ago

Covered up with a squid fighting a gorilla

I will use this to cover all my mistakes from now on.

[–]transmigrant 36 points37 points ago

Here's the original thread where you can see the previous worlds worst tattoo.

[–]ayohriver 8 points9 points ago

Is there a back story to the original? I really like the cover-up.

[–]transmigrant 16 points17 points ago

Had a drawing done of my grandfather based off the last photo I took of him before he passed. Drawing came out amazingly, tattoo did not. Got drunk and decided on a squid v gorilla which my friend Daniel did.

[–]ayohriver 5 points6 points ago

Aw, that story makes me really sad =( I'm sorry you had to cover that up, but it's certainly understandable why you did.

[–]Ionlywanttoinsultyou 12 points13 points ago

I was about to say, that is a HORRIBLE tattoo for a rich actress to have. Maybe it's ironic?

[–]Retanaru 16 points17 points ago

Gorilla's got some serious boobage.

[–]nettles121 27 points28 points ago

can anyone prove beyond a doubt that this isn't shopped?

[–]sweetloris 29 points30 points ago

I'm hoping it is. I can't imagine a more vain and childish tattoo.

[–]internetvictim 129 points130 points ago

You'd think she could afford something a little less .. sarcastic five year old?

[–]thrush77 58 points59 points ago

I'm thinking this was intentionally "cheap". I don't know how else you'd explain it.

[–]Vader90 23 points24 points ago

It's the artist style, he does it shitty on purpose.

[–]Exducer 19 points20 points ago

That works for Shitty_Watercolour...because it's not skin....

[–]Ftumsh 8 points9 points ago

Shitty 50s style is in; see Amy Winehouse and many of the Suicide Girls.

[–]mikemcg 2 points3 points ago

Are five-year-olds capable of sarcasm?

Does anyone have a spare five-year-old with which we can test this?

[–]yearh 271 points272 points ago

The tattoo is supposed to look shitty. It's the dudes style. the artist

[–]inmyunderpants 221 points222 points ago

That dude stole my style!

[–]CapAWESOMEst 70 points71 points ago

I've been using that same style for 18 years!

Note: I'm 18 years old.

[–]ukelyon 10 points11 points ago

Start a tattoo shop! Honestly, he's pretty much just going for what he wants to do with the skills he has. And it's worked, given the evidence present above.

[–]scratchhappy 35 points36 points ago

Call it "Shitty_Tattoos"

[–]SoarinKierkegaard 15 points16 points ago

Shitty_Ink

[–]Drizae 23 points24 points ago

Shit Inc.

[–]inmyunderpants 7 points8 points ago

Shink

[–]roeder 417 points418 points ago

Fuck. So it's his style to make shitty tattoos? I'm a chef that makes disgusting food, because it's my style.

[–]LilJimmyNordin 67 points68 points ago

There are many chefs/cooks out there that defend their bad food in exactly this way.

[–]lllki 46 points47 points ago

Yep like every chef that has appeared on Kitchen Nightmares.

[–]this1 34 points35 points ago

I do things my way.

Every chef on that show ever. Seriously dude, that could be why your business is failing...

[–]RedPhalcon 18 points19 points ago

No, it must be the location, or the recession, or that damned chef that I never let make changes.

[–]IAmThePat 21 points22 points ago

Obviously the patrons, who just don't "get it"

[–]ours 6 points7 points ago

Just make it fancy and expensive enough and you are gold.

[–]physep 48 points49 points ago

more direct link to his 'style' of tattoos

[–]Gumburcules 54 points55 points ago

Jesus, that is like the Tim and Eric of tattoos: trying to be "so bad it's good," except without the "good" part.

[–]Einchy 46 points47 points ago

They're very Superjail and Daniel Johnston-ish.

Honesty, though, this style of art can look very cool when there's a lot going on. It needs to be very complex for the true art style to really show. When you take out all the complicity and just look at one single drawing, it can look like shit. Case in point, almost all of those tattoos. They lack the contest of it being an art style and just look like a shit drawing done by Napoleon Dynamite.

[–]damngifs 19 points20 points ago

look like a shit drawing done by Napoleon Dynamite

By far the best description.

[–]physep 26 points27 points ago

[–]Redsox933 38 points39 points ago

He can call it a style if he wants, but those are shitty tattoos

[–]Vsx 14 points15 points ago

You can assume she saw them before getting the tattoo and still wanted it. There is no accounting for taste.

[–]bebeni89 2 points3 points ago

Does he actually charge for those,or does he tranquilize his victims from afar and then proceeds to do his "thing"?

[–]McDLT 14 points15 points ago

[–]KungfuDojo 6 points7 points ago

I actually find it kind of funny. Better than this wannabe realistic bullshit.

[–]Gourmay 25 points26 points ago

He's also a twat who's been tagging all our public transport with his shite.

[–]Devanismyname 18 points19 points ago

Can he do good tattoos? If not, he may just be a shitty tattoo artist.

[–]peabish 52 points53 points ago

What a fucking chode.

[–]sqrt-1loveyou 39 points40 points ago

  1. Become tattoo artist.

  2. Use inferiors skills to craft a "style".

  3. ??????

  4. Profit!

Seriously though his tattoos look like the doodles of a sixth grader who has down syndrome.

[–]notshawnvaughn 30 points31 points ago

That's actually an insult to artists with Down Syndrome.

To be more accurate, I thought Johansson tatted herself. With her right hand. Blindfolded.

[–]Shapeshift1 5 points6 points ago

I can dig that, but personally I'd want a tattoo that anyone could tell is quality. Or in the words of the great Ron White: "Let me tell you what I'm looking for in a fucking tree. I'm looking for a tree that you can tell is alive even if you don't know shit about trees."

[–]bestbiff 4 points5 points ago

So you're supposed to tell everyone who sees your tattoo that it's supposed to look terrible? I don't know why you'd mark yourself like that forever.

[–]Bohvey 7 points8 points ago

What a "style". I think I'm going to go to work tomorrow and do a terrible job and when my clients start to complain I'll tell them, "That's my style." Terrible tattoo.

[–]brandontoms 11 points12 points ago

Wow. I really don't know how people can make a living out of being intentionally shitty at their job.

[–]Shin-LaC 1 point2 points ago

In other words, it's a shitty tattoo, but at least it was expensive! I wonder if she went for the trifecta and got an infection while she was at it.

[–]nowuff 7 points8 points ago

Still just looks like a shitty tat

[–]FranklinsFart 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, never go FULL retard

[–]HugTheRetard 8 points9 points ago

looks like the cover of a Daniel Johnston album

[–]rarkai 8 points9 points ago

How is 'supposed to look shitty' a style? sigh

[–]JefeRocha 4 points5 points ago

He needs to start a novelty account, Shitty_Tattoo_Artist

[–]manosiosis 5 points6 points ago

This one made me cringe so hard.

[–]andyhenault 2 points3 points ago

These all look like Napoleon Dynamite sketches.

[–]iamjakt 2 points3 points ago

What i want to know is if he was ever good. How the fuck did he make a big enough name for himself making shitty tattoos that Scarlett Johansson wanted one? Is this some hipster bullshit that i don't understand? SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE JOKE.

[–]WC_Cowpony 4 points5 points ago

Fuck. I can't even keep this world straight anymore.

[–]bestbiff 2 points3 points ago

Those tattoos suck. The world's not that crazy. It looks like she could have done that herself with a mirror.

[–]wtfmanquestionmark 2 points3 points ago

No dude, I'm actually really awesome...this is just my style. That will be $500.

[–]87liyamu 21 points22 points ago

I recognise this place!

Pretty weird place for her to have a photograph taken, though. Outside a Discount Electonics Shop in Paris.

[–]Acid_Membrane 8 points9 points ago

It's actually right outside the tattoo shop. The electronics shop is across the street from the tattoo shop.

[–]Jaexyn 102 points103 points ago

Did she do it herself using a fun house mirror?

[–]ricklegend 7 points8 points ago

Right? With all that money she could have got Lucky Jean's tagline done symmetrically and with decent lining. True Tattoo is right there in Hollywood.

[–]gimbi 17 points18 points ago

[–]BigAssSwagBear 55 points56 points ago

my first thought was that was the Indianapolis Colts logo and the "LUCKY YOU" was a shitty pun for their quarterback (Andrew Luck)

[–]dgriff24 24 points25 points ago

I'll just believe this, being a Colts fan..

[–]jeezy-creezy 2 points3 points ago

What is it actually referencing then? I was/am so confused.

[–]Vietnom 2 points3 points ago

Yeah it would be an incredible coincidence if it was totally unrelated.

[–]WontReadReplies 5 points6 points ago

But horseshoes are known for being used for luck, especially when hung like that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horseshoe#Folklore

If she's dating Andrew Luck then the connection would make sense, but otherwise it's a stretch to automatically assume a horseshoe+lucky has something to do with the Indianapolis Colts.

[–]yearh 39 points40 points ago

[–]BrunoPonceJones 60 points61 points ago

It's like Napoleon Dynamite opened his own tattoo shop.

[–]Industriality 2 points3 points ago

The style is interesting but that's a bit weird for tattoos.

[–]benchif4 186 points187 points ago

Jeez, worst tattoo ever... the letters aren't center or anything.. makes me want her even more!

[–]Aquagoat 100 points101 points ago

I don't know about worst EVER, but yeah...that's a damn shame to put something so ugly on her. Looks like a kid drew it...maybe a kid did draw it. Does she have kids?

[–]LuigiBrotha 23 points24 points ago

I guess they'll be kicking out the intern at the local tattoo parlor.

[–]GiantSquidd 16 points17 points ago

Apprentice.

[–]NIQ702 9 points10 points ago

Padawan.

[–]RebelScumbag 7 points8 points ago

Squire

[–]GiantSquidd 5 points6 points ago

We actually use that one at my shop. Also, prospect.

[–]JessesGurl 25 points26 points ago

I agree, you would think that since she has a lot of money she would pay for a good one and not that crap.

[–]Gourmay 13 points14 points ago

Rule number one of celebrities: they all get awful tattoos (exception being one of the women in True Blood). I work in tattooing and I seriously don't understand how this happens, especially since since they have stylists and pr people. There are tons of incredible artists out there most of us could never afford, you'd think that's who they'd go for...

[–]kh230805 14 points15 points ago

That's why it happens- rebelling against all the people who tell them what to do all day and how to behave.

[–]Shin-LaC 3 points4 points ago

And proving how right those people were all along.

[–]dtam21 20 points21 points ago

I'm sure the artist was just waaaay to distracted.

[–]thrush77 9 points10 points ago

I'm wondering if this is some sort of hipster "so bad it's classic" move.

[–]FCDRandy 16 points17 points ago

Hipsters are not the cause of everything you dislike.

[–]Gourmay 23 points24 points ago

As a Parisian I'm really not impressed with seeing that her artist spent ten years tagging his name/really rubbish stuff on our local public transport... As a tattooed Parisian let me tell you about three studios that rock:

Artcorpus: www.artcorptattoo.com

Gentlemen tattoo club: 23keller.wordpress.com/tag/tattoos/

Mystery Tattoo Club: www.mysterytattooclub.com

[–]Wexie 3 points4 points ago

Strange Tattoo story. I was 23, it was the late 80s, and Tattoo shops were still illegal in New York. I decided to get one, and some chick at work recommended some guy to me. I went, got it done in the back of this boutique on first and first. . The guy was a douche. I later found out I got a tattoo by one of the most famous tattoo artists in the world, Jonathan Shaw. I have had people stop me on the street and go "that's Jon's ink! Cool." I lucked out. He did do a great job.

[–]Blacksailscrx 14 points15 points ago

I'll never understand why people with money get shitty tattoos...

[–]masterdingo 31 points32 points ago

It's like watching someone pissing on the Mona Lisa.

[–]redweasel 56 points57 points ago

For some reason, this makes me wonder what her breath smells like.

[–]SoBravez 14 points15 points ago

She smokes a lot.

[–]laserbeanz 13 points14 points ago

Gross.

Edit: smokes what?

[–]CutieMcRapey 22 points23 points ago

Pole, at least in my dreams.

[–]SoBravez 7 points8 points ago

Cigs as far as I've seen.

[–]ShadowRam 5 points6 points ago

On a 0 to 10 scale, as soon as any woman puts a cig in her mouth, its an instant -7 to the points.

[–]vanpet 18 points19 points ago

She's still a 4, then.

[–]joannchilada 28 points29 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]redweasel 18 points19 points ago

I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

[–]jabb0 5 points6 points ago

Smells like balls

[–]Nemmie 16 points17 points ago

For some reason, this makes me wonder what her breast smells like.

[–]niceguydammit 7 points8 points ago

Any idea what the significance is?

[–]JimmyX10 46 points47 points ago

If you get to see that IRL you're pretty lucky!

[–]stormtrooper775 37 points38 points ago

Then it should have been located on her taint.

[–]sweaterbydarwin 7 points8 points ago

I bet he draws a mean liger.

[–]Mr_Harmless 24 points25 points ago

Lift... Lift more!

[–]maninthemass 29 points30 points ago

Does she even lift?

[–]laserbeanz 5 points6 points ago

Has anyone even?

[–]MaybeComputer 3 points4 points ago

How can she slap?

[–]ljfaucher 9 points10 points ago

Scarlett in Paris doesn't care for the bra...

[–]aydiosmio 20 points21 points ago

Probably not smart to wear a bra with a new tattoo right thar.

[–]nightshiftpeasant 5 points6 points ago

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 2 points3 points ago

This makes a tramp stamp seem classy.

[–]scigs6 3 points4 points ago

She's hot, but that is a bad tattoo

[–]RAPE_CH0KE 60 points61 points ago

Getting to see her naked without having to sit through one of her shitty movies?

Lucky you.

[–]bummer69a 29 points30 points ago

Don't know whether to upvote for posting the photos, or downvote for suggesting that every film she's been in is shite.

I'm gonna go with FUCK YOU MAN.

[–]veruus 19 points20 points ago

Lost in Translation was shite? Lies.

[–]Nebulaoblivion 1 point2 points ago

I enjoyed the avengers.

[–]Lakashnik2 6 points7 points ago

You didn't enjoy The Avengers?

[–]RarnacBrak 1 point2 points ago

Well, as long as she likes it...

[–]IDontGetSleep 3 points4 points ago

Dudes and dudettes. Give me a second. I'd like to describe this abomination by analogy.

My body is like an old tractor-trailer. Broken down, left in some forgotten, uninhabitable part of town.

Then some talented youth comes along and tags it up a bit. Those are my tattoos, you see. Adds some art, some this and that, and suddenly the dilapidated vehicle has some flavor to it. Character. And if some of it happens to suck, it's no real loss to humanity.

What Scarlett Johanson has done is equivalent of a four-year-old sketching happily on the side of a Lamborghini Murcielago. It's like a stencil fucked a stick figure. It's blasphemy.

[–]JimmyM80 11 points12 points ago

Did anybody let her know that is permanent?

[–]nobigdealright 9 points10 points ago

You know what, I like that style. It looks like a Napolean Dynamite notebook doodle. Plus who ever gets to see that tattoo IRL knows that a) what they're reading is definitely fucking true and b) Scarlett Johansson keeps shit super laid back, so they can relax into that shit.

[–]Spiralyst 7 points8 points ago

Did she pick that up in a Mexican prison?

[–]Will-ko 4 points5 points ago

Looks shit.

[–]myguitariscrying -1 points0 points ago

lucky me

[–]Ko7a -1 points0 points ago

/lust for her

[–]FloridaRoadkill 2 points3 points ago

Wow its like putting a Ed Hardy design on a BMW. You can do it, but WHY!!!

[–]gambeezy 2 points3 points ago

Well now that I know she's capable of making poor decisions, maybe I actually stand a chance now.

[–]rohirrim 4 points5 points ago

She has the tackiest taste in tattoos.

Would still climb it like a mountain, but jeez.

[–]omg_bbq 7 points8 points ago

I just want to say, I like that artistic style.

[–]MJDeebiss 4 points5 points ago

I think Scarlett Johansson looks like the McPoyle dude...yet she's attractive. Warm milk anyone?

[–]mynameispaulsimon 3 points4 points ago

I had a a pair of Lucky Brand jeans that had that slogan stitched into the inside of the fly.

[–]Sp33d0J03 1 point2 points ago

Congratulations Scarlett on ruining something wonderful.

[–]penisinthepeanutbttr 5 points6 points ago

....liiitttle bit higher....liiiittle more...

[–]PinkFlojd 4 points5 points ago

To all the idiots thinking this is a bad tattoo: I can surely tell you this is 100% what she wanted and not the result of a bad tattoo-artist.

[–]ghostinseashell 4 points5 points ago

I want a shitty tattoo. Find me a shitty artist, and tell him do it even shittier than his usual shit.

[–]LordPickles 2 points3 points ago

Arghhh...........

[–]Rumplesforeskin 2 points3 points ago

I agree the lines are crap. This tattoo is terrible

[–]Magical_Fruitloops 2 points3 points ago

Its all crooked and shit....You would think that with all that hollywood money, she would have at least gotten a decent tattoo artist to work on her, its a damn shame :[ Still 10/10 would bang doe :>

[–]TheTruthYouHate1 2 points3 points ago

I wonder if there is any combination of words in the English language, that when repeated in the correct order, would convince her to have sex with me.

Preferably not "I have a gun".

[–]HughGnu 0 points1 point ago

The poor tattoo artist was taken on a roller coaster ride when she came in declaring she wanted to get lucky.

[–]achilton1987 -2 points-1 points ago

I keep waiting to see a sideboob.

[–]SoBravez -1 points0 points ago

There's something very Ren and Stimpy about that.

[–]RedeemingVices 0 points1 point ago

Oh, now she's just being fucking mean to the rest of us. Dammit.

[–]Butteschaumont -1 points0 points ago

She's never been closer to me than when she took that picture. lucky her indeed.

[–]SalMinella 1 point2 points ago

This has to be Synyster Ink, right? Right?

[–]xfilmmaker 0 points1 point ago

What does the Tattoo mean? I thought it was representing the Indianapolis Colts and their Quarterback Andrew Luck....

[–]yupyupyeaahh 0 points1 point ago

Is this real??

[–]kirkverner 0 points1 point ago

Looks like shes been snorting blow

[–]littlepusspuss 1 point2 points ago

photoshop contest anyone?

[–]remhawk99 1 point2 points ago

This is a life achievement for straight men everywhere.

[–]nuketown247 0 points1 point ago

nice

[–]ClearlyDoesntGetIt 0 points1 point ago

That is what the inside of my zipper says. Scarlett and I are a match made in heaven.

[–]DiaDeLosMuertos -1 points0 points ago

Does this mean she likes to get side saddled?

[–]DavidJFarrar 1 point2 points ago

I really love the movie Eight Legged Freaks.

[–]bebeni89 1 point2 points ago

Her other tattoo sucks as well.

Overall shitty taste in tattoos?

[–]Teenage_Handmodel 0 points1 point ago

Must...resist....urge....to....touch....self...

[–]ttnorac 0 points1 point ago

Correct.

[–]rzckoner 1 point2 points ago

it's not meant to look perfectly drawn

[–]Milkman219 0 points1 point ago

looks like a prison tat

[–]jspare22 -1 points0 points ago

so a new style of "tattoo art" is suppose to be shitty... that belongs in r/spacedicks

[–]e8ghtmileshigh 0 points1 point ago

Gross

[–]invisiblewar 0 points1 point ago

The dude does great line work though. You may not like the designs but they are quality tattoos, as far as nice solid lines go (harder than you think).

I actually really like his stuff too, it reminds me of old hand drawn cartoon, mixed with traditional tattoo designs like tattoo flash stuff.

[–]paranoidbillionaire 0 points1 point ago

It's for all the guys who get to bang her. /smut

[–]McWeeny 0 points1 point ago

Andrew Luck is a very happy man right now.

[–]jvan78 0 points1 point ago

First clothes that looked torn up with holes in them that cost more.

Now horrible tattoos that cost more.

Next we'll have intentionally lopsided breast implants and nose jobs to make noses more crooked. But it's cool because it's trendy.

[–]Lil_Druid 0 points1 point ago

If you just get a tattoo that looks like shit ironically, it still looks like shit.

[–]somepoorsap 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to go with the quote (or paraphrase depending on how good my memory of Star Wars dialog is today.) of Lando Calrissian from Return of the Jedi...

"A little higher, just a little higher"

[–]ghostbutlers 0 points1 point ago

He also owns a tattoo removal service. Business is booming!

[–]brakeson 0 points1 point ago

why....why.... someone tell me this is a fake

[–]AnomalyNexus 0 points1 point ago

Fuckin WHY?

[–]reverse_cigol -1 points0 points ago

I've seen better prison tattoos.

[–]johnny_gunn 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's a horrible looking tattoo that reeks of self-flattery.

[–]sisterjenn 0 points1 point ago

Girl's got luck on her side...

[–]ogunduz 0 points1 point ago

Hmm. Nope.

[–]BaconWarrior 1 point2 points ago

Please tell me this is fake.