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all 101 comments

[–]rumnscurvy 97 points98 points ago

"OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE ! EAAAGLE !"

[–]paper_rocketship 17 points18 points ago

[–]dubesor86 5 points6 points ago

[–]deliciousONE 3 points4 points ago

can't be asked to sit through the 20 second commercial. guess i'll never see it :(

[–]sigmajax 4 points5 points ago

Why do you not have ad block?

[–]Torger083 12 points13 points ago

Lincoln made than one.

[–]BallsDeepNKeto 1 point2 points ago

yes he did

[–]gayunicornrainbows 7 points8 points ago

Strolling, rolling, bounding, bouncing across Europe, people often ask me what it means to be an American. I tell'em it's triumph. Triumph. Triumph when we nuke our enemies. Triumph when when peer down from the moon and laugh heartily at Russia. Triumph when we depose one dictator after another. Triumph when we break into the homes of terrorist kingpins on the other side of Earth and shoot them in the face. Triumph when whe use flying robots to bomb other terrorists in Afghanistan, and other nuclear robots to explore Mars. Triumph when we free Europe from nazis. Triumph. Triumph. Triumph

But it's not just the the big things, see? It's the way an Italian cabbie sits up straight and floors the gas when he hears my accent. It's seeing the wide eyes and bead of sweat running down the forehead of a German customs agent when he opens my passport. It's the way a French waiter hangs his head when I refuse the wine and ask for Coke instead, in English knowing full well he understands me.

The way an Aussie blushes and leans into the urinal next to me in the bathroom, or the scowl that meets my smirk when I tip an English waiter in US dollars covered with Washington's face. The way small mobs of Canadian school children follow me from a distance to see what a free man looks like, or how heads timidly rise and women gather when my accent stops the music in the clubs Amsterdam.

Triumph. Every bit of it, triumph. Thats what it means to be an American

[–]dontfeedtheanimals 1 point2 points ago

Five years ago I shared your feeling of triumph. To me, it summed up being American. But in the intervening years, I've seen how morally rotten many of these actions have been. Here are a few questions that changed my thinking:

How many Japanese innocents died beneath the hell fire of twin nukes? How many people were taxed to pay the fare to the moon? How many innocent Pakistanis, Afghans, Somalis, Libyans, and Yemenites have been slaughtered on the way to the terrorists? How many mouths could have been fed for the price of landing probes on mars?

I can no longer call these actions triumphant. In my opinion, the steps to reach them are strewn with too many innocents. I can only conclude that a more accurate description is moral rottenness, a defeat more bitter than losing any war.

I purposely inserted so many "I"s because this is just my opinion of the events. But I hope that by writing them you at least see how American actions have not been unequivocally triumphant.


My earlier statement was too harsh. I should not have written so condescendingly.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

[–]DJJoeBlock 45 points46 points ago

Freedom doesn't knock... freedom rings

[–]craniumonempty 0 points1 point ago

Don't knock, freedom.

[–]seahorseolympics 0 points1 point ago

[–]0n_fire 23 points24 points ago

Go away, Gus, I am the one who knocks!

[–]spaceflunky 21 points22 points ago

I want to believe that when you become president, bald eagles instinctively treat you with respect and allow you to hold them.

[–]Kofetek 11 points12 points ago

No soliciting, go away!

[–]Droids_Rule 11 points12 points ago

First thing that came to mind: Obama saying "I love you" to flatter the customer.

[–]biyabo 0 points1 point ago

We have him now!!!

[–]bad_ass_motherfucker 1 point2 points ago

Needs more flags and fireworks though

[–]megustcizer 16 points17 points ago

BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY THIS GIANT BALD BIRD

[–]MalaysiaTeacher 11 points12 points ago

*VESTED?

[–]levicoultify 8 points9 points ago

*

[–]pFrog 7 points8 points ago

THE PRESIDENT SHALL NOT BE THE SHINIEST OF TWO TURDS!!!

[–]megustcizer 0 points1 point ago

YOU! I WANNA LIKE YOU! DON'T TALK ABOUT CHANGE, JUST DO IT! I FOUGHT FOR WHAT WAS ON MY BRAIN UNTIL A BULLET WENT THROUGH IT!!!

[–]TahsinTekin 13 points14 points ago

[–]Conchobair[!] 3 points4 points ago

That was during the Bush era. Things have changed. We no longer storm in and capture people to torture. Now we just drop bombs on the whole neighborhood and label them all militants.

[–]Kaelyor -3 points-2 points ago

I chuckled, but you'll probably get a better response at /r/ImGoingToHellForThis

[–]OatmealPowerSalad 5 points6 points ago

Sadly, that subreddit is now 'screenshots of racist facebook posts.'

[–]MeGrimlock4 4 points5 points ago

[–]cathouse 3 points4 points ago

"and the eagle flies with the dove....love the one you're with!"

[–]HeyOP 4 points5 points ago

Translation of that song "If the love you want cannot be, fuck whoever is handy."

Or "Ladies, gentlemen. The individual that you are in love with is out of your league or in a committed relationship. Ergo, you should settle."

[–]NativeBelle 0 points1 point ago

No doubt he's about to snap the poor bird's neck, just like he did to literally 100% of my personal freedoms.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NativeBelle -2 points-1 points ago

'twas but a joke.

[–]skza 0 points1 point ago

knock knock, I'm here to imprison you without trial.

[–]midir 0 points1 point ago

When I read the title I really expected a picture of a SWAT team.

[–]deth_rey -1 points0 points ago

Ha ha, I love this..and not just cuz I'm one of the 47% or a glassy eyed Clinton-ista.

[–]alonboy 0 points1 point ago

I sometimes wonder if Obama takes all these pictures and post them in the internet to gain popularity.

[–]Kagenphoenix 0 points1 point ago

Have you accepted freedom into your life?

[–]csbrown83 0 points1 point ago

I just spit pickle...

[–]mambypambyland 0 points1 point ago

Knock knock. Who's there? A bill for $16 trillion dollars and counting. Will that be check, credit card or cash?

[–]TheZippy49 -1 points0 points ago

Knock Knock. Who's there? Socialism.

[–]JoshuaIan 0 points1 point ago

Too bad it's not Webster's.

[–]ShamAbram 0 points1 point ago

This is how I imagine the federal raids will be in Colorado.

[–]mrs_eats_pies 1 point2 points ago

If only this image had been projected onstage in Chicago at the end of Obama's victory speech.

[–]SwiftyMcKnuckles 0 points1 point ago

The rite of passage scene from The Gunslinger. Roland and Cort fight, Cort with his stick and Roland with David, the hawk.

Picture it with Obama and eagle vs McCain.

I don't see Romney as Cort, more of a Martin or Randal Flagg.

[–]TranquilLunacy 0 points1 point ago

Repost!

[–]lethalweapon100 -5 points-4 points ago

This isn't exactly who I would want representing us.

[–]sophware 14 points15 points ago

Deal with it.

[–]weenerhole 10 points11 points ago

Yes, it is.

[–]lethalweapon100 4 points5 points ago

That's an opinion, as is mine.

[–]weenerhole 10 points11 points ago

Right you are, lethalweapon100. I am so proud of you!

[–]lethalweapon100 1 point2 points ago

Thanks...?

[–]devilsadvocated -3 points-2 points ago

This eagle, he didn't build these feathers, someone else did that. So what we're gonna do, is take a few of them, and give them to this possum. You see, the possum was less fortunate, and he's got no feathers, so we're gonna redistribute the feathers a little bit, spread the feather wealth if you will.

[–]crom_maister 0 points1 point ago

I'l just say it here..well done Americans :_) you give me hope.

[–]migzors 0 points1 point ago

Not Patriotic enough, needs more American Flag Pin

[–]ButterBastedTits -3 points-2 points ago

I submitted this a month ago fucker

[–]JakofBlades -3 points-2 points ago

This is amazing...nuff said.

[–]thebbman -2 points-1 points ago

Can we keep politics in politics... There is a reason I unsubscribed.

[–]Randtastic -5 points-4 points ago

Socialism is not American.

[–]TameponOwnz 0 points1 point ago

I feel like there's a "Motherfucker" missing at the end of the title....

[–]kneeofwisdom 0 points1 point ago

Source: True American Dog

Check the rest out, it's amazing. Flute Gingrich is my personal fav.

[–]Swamp_Troll 0 points1 point ago

You know, I dreamed that night that both Obama and Romney came at my house and wanted to make some firecamps in my backyard. I started with preparing the wood for Romney's one because he looked so sad about losing the election. Obama was just standing there, watching me trying really hard to light up something but failing since the wood was wet. Romney left for some reason and Obama still stood at the place where I was supposed to built him a campfire next.

At some point somebody made hot-dogs and Obama left as well. Out of shame of being unable to light a fire for anyone, I ran away from my courtyard and ended up taking the train somewhere else.

Most patriotic dream I've ever had

[–]Fletcherdragonslayer 0 points1 point ago

Fuck yeah!

[–]braided713 1 point2 points ago

i think you mean SOCIALISM!

[–]airjordan2120 -4 points-3 points ago

Knock knock its freedom

[–]Combat_Medic_Scout -1 points0 points ago

'MURICA

[–]Notbob1234 0 points1 point ago

Fuck Yeah!

[–]Pmueroiwty -4 points-3 points ago

I want.

[–]I_SHIT_KARMA -2 points-1 points ago

But he is not fat

[–]Entropy72 -4 points-3 points ago

[–]bayouburner -2 points-1 points ago

Except Obama's the most unpatriotic president we've had in years...

[–]jeanthine -3 points-2 points ago

Get off my lawn, America, this is the third time this week.

[–]Veton1994 -1 points0 points ago

This America, you can't tell America where America can and can't go.

Fuck you man, America does whatever America feels like doing.

[–]jeanthine 0 points1 point ago

America you get off my lawn right now or I'm calling the cops.

[–]Veton1994 0 points1 point ago

Cops ain't got shit on me.

I'm America.

Nobody can tell me what to do. America can do what America wants.

America!

[–]jeanthine 0 points1 point ago

I swear to God, America, I'm calling them right now

[–]Veton1994 0 points1 point ago

Go ahead, I dare you.

I'm America, I ain't got time for no police. I do what I want when I want.

You know why?

Because I'm America.

'Murika!

[–]Fumobix -2 points-1 points ago

its not american enough u need to put a mcdonalds in the background and atleast 3 american flags

[–]Honeymaid -5 points-4 points ago