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top 200 commentsshow all 410

[–]suxorious 968 points969 points ago

Perhaps you should stop dating women 5x your size.

[–]macnicool 192 points193 points ago

who cares. she was wagging her tail, indicator of interst

[–]fligs 91 points92 points ago

exactly, if a girl is wagging her tail you got nothing to worry about!!

[–]Furah 29 points30 points ago

If she doesn't have a tail, wait for the smile, or a ;D smiley in a text.

[–]haneef81 81 points82 points ago

Or any mistakes in spelling due to repeated letters, as in "byee" or "heyy." That's like as direct request for a hookup it gets.

Double letters => Instant passion.

Source: None

[–]ChipotleM 23 points24 points ago

This advice did not work! WTF??

[–]rabidsi 71 points72 points ago

Because he gave you dodgy advice. You have to wait for the quads.

  • hey = hey
  • heyy = I think I kinda like you.
  • heyyy = Call me, let's date.
  • heyyyy = Get over here and rip my panties off, you stud.

[–]TheSurgeMeister 74 points75 points ago

[–]BilllyMayes 11 points12 points ago

This man speaks the truth, it has been field tested.

[–]M3nt0R 16 points17 points ago

This man is the spokesperson for getting ass.

[–]ShitsAndGigglesSake 6 points7 points ago

Heyyyyy (and more) = OAG

[–]I_tend_to 11 points12 points ago

I see double question points. So... wanna hookup later?

[–]Danny_Bomber 12 points13 points ago

Was it a legitimate tail wag?

[–]uptwolait 161 points162 points ago

And stop being a clingy pussy.

[–]forever_stalone 29 points30 points ago

Yeah you'll only get a pitty pat and be awkwardly friendzoned.

[–]nermid 17 points18 points ago

pitty pat

I tawt I taw a pitty pat. I deed! I deed tee a pitty pat!

[–]down_vote_magnet 14 points15 points ago

And stop attempting to rape them.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 24 points25 points ago

"Please stop humping my leg."

[–]ATyp3 6 points7 points ago

Boy, that escalated quickly.

[–]Blabedibla 243 points244 points ago

Plot twist: He's a dwarf.

[–]madzaman 93 points94 points ago

Plot twist: he's a miniature poodle in a cat suit.

[–]Breathing_Balls 117 points118 points ago

Proof or it didn't happen.

A cat scan or a lab report would suffice.

[–]shkacatou 89 points90 points ago

[–]RambleLZOn 12 points13 points ago

Haha, cat scan.

[–]SupermanV2 -2 points-1 points ago

Let's not go barking up the wrong tree and get carried away meow.

[–]moosehawk 12 points13 points ago

I cat believe this is turning into a pun thread.

[–]Nikolai197 10 points11 points ago

You cat to be kitten me right meow with all these cat jokes.

[–]kemikiao 8 points9 points ago

Fur fucks sake...why does every thread goes pun?

[–]RiPotato 10 points11 points ago

I've got a feline that says this won't go well.

[–]Evil_Gorilla 39 points40 points ago

Am I the only one who doesn't get how the OP's title relates to the gif? Is he implying that he's the cat and doesn't want to "let the girl go"?

[–]netwiz101 18 points19 points ago

Haha.. I though the girl was the cat as well.

[–]Simba7 45 points46 points ago

I'm pretty sure he's the cat and 'moved in for a kiss'. He ended up giving an awkward peck on the cheek, and she gave a pat on the head (a hug or something).

I think.

It's a huge stretch, and not really funny.

[–]FightScene 14 points15 points ago

That's impossible. Everyone knows that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls!

[–]flutterarity 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, which is which?

[–]ginger_lala 0 points1 point ago

No, actually, the opposite.

[–]janw86 3 points4 points ago

Plot twist: He's the dog!

[–]KazMux 50 points51 points ago

And maybe try not to bite them when they aren't warming up to you.

[–]bigfig 9 points10 points ago

Tail was wagging... she's actually into the cat. No means yes.

[–]ienjoymen 9 points10 points ago

[–]Dresdin 17 points18 points ago

Oh, I thought he was the dog.

[–]headphonehalo 44 points45 points ago

The cat is obviously the girl.

[–]sirin3 37 points38 points ago

All cats are female

[–]down_vote_magnet 20 points21 points ago

My cat finds your comment offensive.

[–]ShaidarHaran2 13 points14 points ago

Exactly, have you ever seen a cat penis?

[–]ginger_lala 9 points10 points ago

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CAT PENIS?!

[–]ciaran036 7 points8 points ago

[–]thosethatwere 461 points462 points ago

I love how the dog looks at the camera at the end and you can almost hear him saying "Dude, that cat is fucking nuts", he even shakes his head slightly.

[–]tommadness 203 points204 points ago

The dog Jim-faced. Hard.

[–]trolloc1 10 points11 points ago

I rarely even find a comment that will make me laugh in the morning but yours did. Thanks

[–]AlexanderMoore2 23 points24 points ago

"Fuck it, this bitch is too crazy".

[–]tandtroll 14 points15 points ago

"I'm not going to deal with this."

Priceless.

[–]Roboticide 13 points14 points ago

Dogs are just adorable like that. So social - clearly trying to warn the person behind the camera away.

[–]brianguy16 3 points4 points ago

reminds me of Larry David

[–]Livyka 66 points67 points ago

So you're either super clingy like the cat or super awkward like the dog, not sure which.

[–]Spacefreak 30 points31 points ago

Yeah, that about describes me.

[–]Hot_Sacks 72 points73 points ago

Copping dome on the first date. Nice.

[–]leftabitcharlie 24 points25 points ago

Pat pat

[–]DoctorCroctopus 22 points23 points ago

Ugh, when I run out of things to say, I break out the shitty jokes.

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head? DOUG HAHAHAHAHHA AREN'T I FUNNY?"

please don't leave

[–]EmblaZon_Inc 17 points18 points ago

When I run out of things to say I develop multiple personality disorder and let the next guy come up with something.

[–]Sentient_Waffle 12 points13 points ago

I hate it when the next guy turns out to be a serial killer rapist.

Such a mess to clean up.

[–]JesterAzazel 2 points3 points ago

I just take it as a hint that I have very little to talk about with the girl. When I can have a long conversation with a girl about various topics I know she's a keeper.

[–]SupermanV2 222 points223 points ago

I've watched this about ten times and I still have no idea what's going on.

I've been single way too long.

[–]foreveracubone 250 points251 points ago

It's an ambiguous title but I think there's 2 possible jokes to take from it.

OP is implying that he's the forever alone cat and doesn't want to let a possibly interested female go.

or

OP is implying that he's the dog and women are clingy.

[–]steviesteveo12 124 points125 points ago

And that's a great strength for it. It means the watcher can go "women, huh?" and "men, huh?" depending on their views.

[–]foreveracubone 38 points39 points ago

Exactly, I think the ambiguity makes it funny in the first place. Also depending on the person you're on a date with you may feel either situation, regardless of gender.

[–]Furah 14 points15 points ago

Ah, r/funny, where not only do we find things to look at, we look at the science behind what makes something funny, into something memorably funny.

[–]foreveracubone 13 points14 points ago

We have to do something in between posting Facebook pictures and putting punchlines in the title.

[–]CressCrowbits 17 points18 points ago

I'd rather just skip the whole title theme altogether and just go aww look at the cute cat and dog being friends! Look the dog is stroking the cat!

But I guess that wouldn't bring in the karma like a good ol' bit of battle of the sexes / forever alone subject forcing.

[–]DrP3n0r 15 points16 points ago

Haha my cat and dogs do this too. The cat is biting the dog (for probably no reason other than cats are cunts by nature) and the dog really has no idea how to respond. So he boops the cat on the head.

[–]foreveracubone 4 points5 points ago

This is an often reposted image. The title gives an old gif a new flavor.

[–]Ingenium21 21 points22 points ago

I'm pretty sure the joke is OP is the cat, and he's trying to go in for a kiss, and gets rejected. A common, albeit cliché joke premise.

come on people.

[–]ExtraLevel[S] 15 points16 points ago

I've been in both positions, but when I posted this I thought more of myself as the cat. I only realized that it can be understood in two different ways after I posted it.

[–]ricecake 14 points15 points ago

I think it's a reference to "potentially awkward post date physical contact when you're not sure what level is appropriate for a first date with this person". If it went poorly, it could be a handshake or nothing. If it went well, it could be, depending on the person, a hug, a kiss on the cheek or lips, or dry humping. Presumably if it went better than that, you'd know. Hopefully. No one wants to accidentally cross the others boundaries by advancing to quickly, hence potential awkwardness.

Notice how it kinda looks like the dog stands there awkwardly, while being unexpectedly hugged. Then just pats the cat on the head, which upsets the cat.

Yup.

[–]alahos 78 points79 points ago

I've been in a relationship for the last third of my life and I still have no idea what's going on.

[–]ani625 142 points143 points ago

That's because it's a stupid title.

[–]AdviceJAY87 167 points168 points ago

You're a stupid title

[–]shitty_titler 99 points100 points ago

I thought it was pretty good.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TheLeviathong 17 points18 points ago

Are you Italian?

[–]herpdederpdedo 18 points19 points ago

I'll pretty good your stupid title in a minute!!!

[–]AriBBCP 4 points5 points ago

that's what she said

[–]hmatmotu 13 points14 points ago

You're a towel!

[–]FERRITofDOOM 1 point2 points ago

You're a turd sandwich

[–]EpicThomTime 2 points3 points ago

Oh shit!

[–]RandomUpAndDown 5 points6 points ago

So one could say that you both are suffering from the same problem; you both forgot what it's like after the first date? ;)

(Then again, I don't get it either, but I'm foreveralone personified)

[–]ccfreak2k 5 points6 points ago

After the first date, the OP goes for the throat. I guess he's a CHUD.

[–]SquirrelOverlord 7 points8 points ago

I think I can break it down:
The cat is the guy going in for the goodnight kiss. The dog is the girl avoiding the kiss, then giving a "lets just be friends" hug (in this case, a pat on the head). The guy then tries one more time to go for the kiss (lest he be trapped in the friend zone), but the girl is having none of it and beats a quick retreat inside.

[–]burrito_brother 3 points4 points ago

That makes two of us, buddy.

[–]_atomlib_ 23 points24 points ago

Original video. I hate when instead of 20 seconds of video with sound you post some GIF which is almost 3 megabytes in size. And the GIF where image is represented with only 256 colors loads so slowly that it hurts to watch the appearance of new frames.

[–]MNMNMNNMNNMNNMNMNMNM 62 points63 points ago

OK - there's a simple way to avoid this problem on a first date. First let's frame the problem - it's the end of the first date, the girl is wondering, "is he going to kiss me?" the guy is wondering "does she want me to kiss her? will I look like a douche if I do or if I don't?" and the tension just increases dramatically as the expectations pile up on both sides. Both sides are expected to do something, they just aren't sure what the right thing is.

So here is what you do:

  1. Schedule a first date that has two activities separated by a car ride. Ex: dinner and a trip to a haunted house.

  2. After dinner and before the second activity, open your car door for her, say wait a minute and give her a quick kiss and a hug. Don't stick your tongue down her throat, just a quick kiss.

She will NOT be expecting that. It's a no pressure situation for both parties and has gotten the first kiss "out of the way" so to speak. No confusion about if this is a "date" or "two friends going out". No pressure or awkwardness at the end of the date.

Source: Dated a lot before I got married 9 years ago.

[–]lezapper 24 points25 points ago

tell more.

[–]piercedntreck 17 points18 points ago

As a girl, I say this is pretty smart. Don't just attack her face. Pay attention to how the girl reacts, even if it's subtle. Put your hand on her face (or side) first so she knows your intentions. If she pulls back then you will know she isn't sure or not interested. If she comes in, then she is interested. If you go slow, you will seem confident. Three seconds of confidence can change the course of a date. If I really like a guy, I will randomly kiss him in the middle of the date just to kill the awkwardness. Also, "Don't stick your tongue down her throat" can't be stressed enough! Tongue isn't bad in certain situations but a first date isn't that situation.

[–]NextName 24 points25 points ago

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

[–]edkane 8 points9 points ago

And don't stick that tool in crazy.

[–]SquirrelOverlord 49 points50 points ago

I appreciate your insights and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[–]Artmageddon 13 points14 points ago

This is quite good. I don't have the link to the particular gif, but if I did, it'd be the guy leaning back in his chair, chewing food in his mouth, and giving a thumbs up.

[–]whalen72 7 points8 points ago

[–]LeBeauMonde 10 points11 points ago

You must have a difficult time logging on from computers where your username is not saved.

[–]nermid 16 points17 points ago

dinner and a trip to a haunted house

Don't tell her about the last part. Just drive out to a deserted, condemned building in a bad part of town and take her in.

You'll want to make this seem less frightening by bringing along a cute animal, like a pet dog. Bringing a double-dating couple can help, too (nothing too sexy, of course. Set up that girl who wears huge glasses with that stoner who's always scared of stuff). Of course, with that many people, you'll probably need to switch out the car for something more spacious, like a van...

[–]SuperMachoBoy 8 points9 points ago

Im in that weird zone where just reading about dating and hugging and kissing satisfies me immensely.

[–]l1m1tless 2 points3 points ago

well what if she doesn't want you to kiss her?

[–]MNMNMNNMNNMNNMNMNMNM 30 points31 points ago

Then she won't go out with you again. Here are your options:

  1. Don't kiss her. If she wanted you to kiss her, you are now the biggest pussy on the planet. If she didn't want you to kiss her, then there's no future anyway. This is the 100% lose scenario.

  2. Kiss her. If she wantd you to kiss her, great! If she didn't, she knows that your intentions are for a romantic relationship, not friends and if she doesn't want that, she will waste no more of your time with a second date. This is the 100% win scenario.

But seriously - just make it a quick kiss on the mouth.

[–]StupidCapatcha 9 points10 points ago

Pascal's wager for relationships...I like it.

[–]l1m1tless 3 points4 points ago

hm OK thanks for the advice

[–]PeacefulWarriorWay 38 points39 points ago

I do not agree with the title but damn, this is cute.

[–]Sproutykins 10 points11 points ago

Sadly enough... It's kinda not. The cat is trying to bite into the dog's jugular vein. :(

[–]neanderthought 20 points21 points ago

Dogs are just better people than cats.

[–]singularity2030 5 points6 points ago

Maybe it's just playing? I seriously know nothing about cats though so I have no idea. I just know my dogs bite each other on the neck gently while playing.

[–]elite_oracle 9 points10 points ago

I don't know what you guys are talking about, I thought it was hilarious and the title appropriate

[–]Velkrum 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, I've been in this situation. Go in for a kiss and the girls body language was saying, no thanks but, aww, you're so cute, I'm leaving now.

[–]Ionlywanttoinsultyou 4 points5 points ago

Who the fuck are you dating?

[–]triple_ecks 4 points5 points ago

Is it just me, or is the title of this post really reaching to connect with the pic?

[–]karthenon 5 points6 points ago

My take on it is that the cat is the guy and he leaned in for the kiss and that was okay with the girl (dog) on the first date, but when the cat tried to run past 1st base, the girl pushed him off and left.

[–]quasiuomo 6 points7 points ago

i love how the dog shakes his head after

[–]ani625 67 points68 points ago

Oh come on OP, it was submitted 7 times in the past month.

title comnts points age /r/
Calm down pussy 3coms 7pts 17dys aww
Actually, this cat is like me sometimes with OCD. 1com 2pts 17dys pics
Worth it just for the very end... "That bitch is crazy, man" 458coms 1859pts 18dys funny
Me when im in the mood, and my girlfriend isnt 2coms -2pts 1mo funny
This dog reminds me of Sheldon Cooper... 0coms 4pts 1mo funny
Rejected 341coms 2243pts 1mo funny
It's okay, little kitty. 1com 7pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Ana_Thema 130 points131 points ago

He re-framed it. I think consensus is that it's ok to re-use gifs etc when you aren't claiming to be the originator and also if you add original context.

[–]flizz 51 points52 points ago

This is actually the first time I've upvoted what I knew to be a repost because it was hilarious thinking about it in a new context.

[–]LyingPylon 12 points13 points ago

You should checkout /r/reactiongifs. That's pretty much all that happens there.

[–]SolKool 6 points7 points ago

That's /r/TheStopGirl/ in a nutshell

[–]grimebox 8 points9 points ago

The title completely changes the context making this new content again. This pretty much sums up /r/reactiongifs

[–]RequiemEternal 4 points5 points ago

Who honestly cares? I haven't seen it before, and there's no reason you should expect someone to think to check something like that before posting anything.

[–]csgoodri 6 points7 points ago

You have been on some strange dates.

[–]wheatfields 2 points3 points ago

Are you the cat or the dog?

[–]goldencircle83 0 points1 point ago

That cat's tail is too high and the dog's is wagging way too much.

They seem to be enjoying it.

[–]josephanthony 4 points5 points ago

You seem to have......specialist knowledge of these things.

[–]KM849 0 points1 point ago

Which one are you?

[–]kojain -1 points0 points ago

She's clearly just being a bitch.

[–]Djent_Reznor -1 points0 points ago

If you do this, you're doing it wrong. Wouldn't count on a second date.

[–]Goldreaver 0 points1 point ago

I guess I'll be seeing you later...

No, you won't.

[–]awesomeck 0 points1 point ago

Yea.. everytime I say goodbye the girls always seem to want more from me. I can relate.

[–]dush64 0 points1 point ago

Are you the cat or the dog?

[–]AnotherRandomJerk 1 point2 points ago

Golden retrievers are cool.

[–]ride4daze 0 points1 point ago

I love this gif gets my upvote everytime.

[–]RosieJo 1 point2 points ago

All too familiar.

[–]tequnix[!] -1 points0 points ago

Stop dating bitches.

[–]duffyproject[!] 0 points1 point ago

So cute

[–]zarcaztic -1 points0 points ago

I love the gif but i don't understand how it relates to the title.

[–]andyertai 0 points1 point ago

Right in the feels man

[–]SuddenlyTimewarp 0 points1 point ago

Kiss? No... no kiss. Pats you on the head

[–]BennyFresh -1 points0 points ago

Repost

[–]Arknell 0 points1 point ago

The thought of getting bitten by a girl on a restaurant date feels strangely appealing.

[–]Jeltown 0 points1 point ago

What makes this is the little head-shake the dog makes at the end. Brilliant.

[–]joebbowers -1 points0 points ago

Why would you say good bye to a girl after a first date? Isn't she in your bed?

[–]mikkeii 0 points1 point ago

Finally a full version of this frigging gif.

[–]N1Nutta -1 points0 points ago

Haha

[–]LeftyGuns 1 point2 points ago

This is an absolutely perfect gif for this situation

[–]Lolworth 1 point2 points ago

Cringeingly realistic :-(

[–]ureacunt -1 points0 points ago

someone has issues

[–]bathrobed_avenger 0 points1 point ago

I like how the dog shakes her head at the camera as she makes her escape

[–]NoLifeLogic 0 points1 point ago

The end of my first date is always awkward.

[–]redhatGizmo -1 points0 points ago

humans aren't that sexually dimorphic

[–]LionTamerCitySaver 1 point2 points ago

Plot twist: OP dates his dog

[–]maddenmadman 1 point2 points ago

[–]SwollenPickle 0 points1 point ago

I'm no dating expert, but you may not be doing it right.

[–]47h315m 0 points1 point ago

Saying bye after a first date can be awkward or awesome but you won't know till you get there.....

[–]Fugitivebush 0 points1 point ago

So, I see the dog is having trouble letting the cat go. Good Job, Cat. Stick it to the dog.

[–]thisispannkaka -1 points0 points ago

Lol, funneh.

[–]Hindulaatti 1 point2 points ago

I love the ending of this gif.

The dog clearly is like

This shit is crazy yo

[–]done_holding_back 0 points1 point ago

LET ME LOVE YOU

[–]KatieKorn 0 points1 point ago

I know this is not the point, but what a sweet dog. If a cat did that to my pooch he would eat her. haha.....

[–]Paleface95 0 points1 point ago

Now the question comes up, whether you are the dog or the cat...

[–]SimonLeTueur 0 points1 point ago

Who is the girl?

[–]DustynLyon 1 point2 points ago

The pat on the head made my day.

[–]BigBun 1 point2 points ago

I also pet women on their head after the first date. A kiss is something you earn, not something you just get. Jeez, cats.

[–]danhakimi 0 points1 point ago

Of the 7,230 upvotes this thread has gotten, a total of 5 are from people who have ever had this experience.

[–]JJTropea 0 points1 point ago

Gotta like the head shake of disapproval the dog gives at the end.

[–]TehTrollord 0 points1 point ago

Saying bye to a girl after the first date always

FTFY

[–]buster2Xk 1 point2 points ago

Don't be silly cats don't date dogs.

[–]izzycmg 0 points1 point ago

If i were the dog the first thing i would have done was sniff some ass.

[–]alexreedbautista 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone notice the dog shake her head as she walks away?

[–]WintersCold 0 points1 point ago

Love the crazy bitch nod at the end.

[–]godfetish 0 points1 point ago

I usually just asked her "How was breakfast?"

[–]CrowKaneII 1 point2 points ago

Might go a little better if you didn't bite their hands

[–]PR3CiSiON 1 point2 points ago

Being a redditor, I assume you are the cat?

[–]letrolls 0 points1 point ago

Half the people on Reddit, don't under stand this...

[–]RochelleH 0 points1 point ago

Booped on the first date. Seems to me like it went well.

[–]alecjohnson16 0 points1 point ago

You've been on some awkward dates

[–]jhb2wr 0 points1 point ago

That little doggy head pat at the end was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Hnnngg!!

[–]sudeepta -1 points0 points ago

i saw this same post here here like a week ago

[–]yepmek 0 points1 point ago

Golden Retrievers are the most unconditionally friendly creatures.

[–]bobsp 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else assume that the dog was the male? I always do...for some reason, cats are feminine in my mind.

[–]esmifra 0 points1 point ago

You got a pat in the head, you lucky bastard!

[–]svk9 1 point2 points ago

Jeff and Annie

[–]colonial31 0 points1 point ago

anybody see the subtle shake of the head the dog gives the camera as it walks out of frame?

[–]TheImpetuous 1 point2 points ago

Why is a dog dating a cat? Isn't this what social conservative have been warning us about?

[–]Tak291 -1 points0 points ago

What a bitch

[–]ihateredd1t -1 points0 points ago

She looks like a bitch anyways

[–]Xer0 0 points1 point ago

saying hello to a repost

[–]xbl4ck0utx 0 points1 point ago

This is saying bye to my girlfriend all the time.

[–]ashnico 0 points1 point ago

I like the subtle shake of the head at the end...

[–]userpain 0 points1 point ago

Lol, I love this gif..

Owner: "Oh come on dog, give her a chance.." Dog: ok.. you can do this, it's probably not that bad. Cat: claw scratch scratch claw Dog: psh, that doesn't even hurt.. "You're just a harmless little kitty aren't you" pats on head Cat: fucking attack mode on dogs paw Dog: "I'm sorry.. I can't deal with this. THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!"

[–]DrFarty 0 points1 point ago

More like girl saying bye to me after the first date :(