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all 91 comments

[–]Pattang 142 points143 points ago

"You lemon stealing whore" bang bang bang

[–]cacotechny 46 points47 points ago

"I think its been about a whole ten seconds since we looked at our lemon tree."

[–]guyw2legs 20 points21 points ago

You're right, it has been exactly ten seconds since we looked at our lemon tree.

[–]Mr_Dr_Prof_Esq_IV 11 points12 points ago

HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?

[–]RetasuKate 0 points1 point ago

Wow. I've actually seen that one. XD

[–]achshar 3 points4 points ago

SFW

[–]jesp3r 114 points115 points ago

Related album
edit: courtesy of /b/ of course

[–]TrimHopp 35 points36 points ago

"I hope I don't get AIDS."

[–]UltraSpankA 9 points10 points ago

Fucking awesome. :D

[–]GLaDOSexe 4 points5 points ago

Saving this for lolz later

[–]TrebeksUpperLIp 4 points5 points ago

Saving this for faps later

[–]GLaDOSexe 5 points6 points ago

shhh they needn't know

[–]ronaldraygun91 2 points3 points ago

That was pretty amazing. Read it in the voice of that narrator with the gravely voice and I was happy

[–]siilver 2 points3 points ago

What's a 'Hit Dog'?

[–]JunkieCulture 44 points45 points ago

Wait, you mean that's not how real life goes for other people?

I've been fucking up big time...

[–]tysovsky 0 points1 point ago

That's why bitches were giving me strange looks when I asked them to ride my dick.

[–]K-Uno 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure buddy, I take this approach as well

[–]Naly_D -1 points0 points ago

more like you've been fucking big time amirite

[–]InquisitiveSpine 47 points48 points ago

I ordered a BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA... THIS ONE IS CHEESE!!!

[–]ramesali786 24 points25 points ago

Unzip Check again...

[–]sutniotibahmansiuqsu 21 points22 points ago

Still too much cheese on it.

[–]Un1k1ll 11 points12 points ago

Oh god no.

[–]agentqaz 11 points12 points ago

In the first one I thought they were puting a new battery in the car or something.

[–]WallysWellies 10 points11 points ago

Doesn't matter; had sex

[–]sjsp215 5 points6 points ago

this would explain why boys get jealous easily

[–]MarioBGE 3 points4 points ago

Doesn't the original have one more panel?

[–]RoadToSerfdom 1 point2 points ago

Except the girl in the cartoon is smiling. Bitches in porn rarely smile while getting nailed.

[–]fakERussian 3 points4 points ago

This is why I've stopped fapping.

[–]Bizzatch 21 points22 points ago

One just doesn't stop fapping.

[–]Siethron 18 points19 points ago

Please, I stop fapping everyday

[–]fakERussian 8 points9 points ago

[–]JTDeuce 5 points6 points ago

What a horrible place.

[–]pacoliketaco 2 points3 points ago

Isn't this just a grayscaled Cyanide & Happiness?

[–]markusbolarkus 0 points1 point ago

*male fantasy logic

[–]jguacmann1 3 points4 points ago

Plothole: The jar remains unopened.

[–]IncredibleFalk1 4 points5 points ago

I noticed that in the second set of comics on the first panel, the girl doesn't have an arm, but in the second panel, she does.

[–]DESTROYER3264 -1 points0 points ago

Yeah she does. It's bent upward and looks like part of her hair.

[–]CarMatRoll 2 points3 points ago

Look again, that's her hair. OC is correct, that girl only gives one handed handies...

[–]djdimensions 0 points1 point ago

Hi, I'm here to fix the cable.

[–]_____cadet 1 point2 points ago

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women!

[–]Boris2k 1 point2 points ago

To be fair....

My logic ain't far off...

[–]MattyMac27 1 point2 points ago

At first, I thought that line in the first box was a comma, so I read her voice like William Shatner.

I'm slow sometimes.

[–]captaincannibal 0 points1 point ago

This is a repost with no credit to the original author and IIRC there were more panels in the original as well.

[–]DerEnder 1 point2 points ago

The best plot?

... is no plot at all.

[–]horseshorseshorsesho 1 point2 points ago

This doesn't happen every time I ask for help. Shit.

[–]HJD1104 1 point2 points ago

That jar is still unopened :/

[–]ElyseOreo 1 point2 points ago

No one actually smiles in porn.

[–]fateswarm -1 points0 points ago

That's actually how it works. But you have to be really in love, too young and slightly stupid. It's fun, for a while, then it fucks up.

[–]mingeyspaff 0 points1 point ago

That was truly hilarious, and I definitely haven't seen it before

[–]UpsetLobster 0 points1 point ago

A good fuck does not solves problems, but it helps put everything in perspective so that your problems don't appear too important anymore.

[–]stephenbobsaget 0 points1 point ago

she lost her arm in the third frame.

[–]Oneforyou 0 points1 point ago

At least they both look real happy in the 2d picture lol

[–]tylerhuse109 0 points1 point ago

all THE time

[–]ExtraterrestrialDuck 0 points1 point ago

I just keep re-reading them as: "My car, broke down!" and "I can't, open that jar"

goddamn.

[–]DeadKnight150 0 points1 point ago

AND THEN YOU CAUGHT BY SEX APPOCALYPSE!!!

[–]Zantar 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it teaches us to forgo our earthly possessions and worries in order to seek happiness.

[–]hedeman 0 points1 point ago

x > 8=== 0

[–]Melipie11 0 points1 point ago

This is just a copy of the original by Cyanide and Happiness >:P

[–]Cpov1 0 points1 point ago

the porn world has a lot of broken stuff :/

[–]watsmyusername 0 points1 point ago

Male Logic

[–]redux_512 0 points1 point ago

if only

[–]ZioTron 0 points1 point ago

quite an unassailable logic we have here...

[–]RzK 0 points1 point ago

"Doctor I have these warts on my vagina"

"Here... let me check that out for ya"

Bow chika wow wowwwww

[–]brewerybabe 0 points1 point ago

This should be real-life logic. If all problems could be solved with sex, the world would be such a better place.

[–]fantastic_apathy 0 points1 point ago

Who is the author/where did this come from? Want to see more of their work

[–]triforce721 0 points1 point ago

"Stop...stop...what are you doing?"

Three seconds later

"Mmmmm okay, just a little bit"

Three seconds later

"Oh yah, yah, yahhhhhhhhh, fuck me, yahhhhhhhhhhh"

[–]fitzpasd 0 points1 point ago

Silly porn logic......she clearly should have said "I can't open this jar"

[–]that_guy906 0 points1 point ago

The One Where Joey And Chandler Get Free Porn (start at 3:41): http://youtu.be/L8y_XELbssc

[–]Jaboobly 0 points1 point ago

You mean this doesn't happen to everybody?... Huh...

[–]Cyrino420 1 point2 points ago

Just like Chris Rock's standup...every time a man helps you he is really asking "want some dick?"

[–]ahone 0 points1 point ago

Shouldn't there be another pair of panels for plumbing? As in "I'm here to lay some pipe."

[–]rntr200 0 points1 point ago

If only it was true.

[–]alphabetpal -1 points0 points ago

And that's the way it would be, if women didn't insist on being so damned difficult.

[–]musicismusical 0 points1 point ago

First thing that actually made me laugh out loud on the front page today

[–]Emmanuell89 0 points1 point ago

best logic ever

[–]horroricane -1 points0 points ago

penis logic*

[–]coolboyman8 0 points1 point ago

I can assure you, this is accurate

[–]ReyTheRed 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, I can't think of many situations that would not immediately lead to fucking if I had my way.

[–]VenomXtC 0 points1 point ago

it's hard to notice but that car's hood is ajar http://www.badum-tish.com/

So many jokes crammed into one comment ;)

[–]onestoplol 1 point2 points ago

lol I just had this discussion with my girlfriend

[–]gorampardos 1 point2 points ago

This is how every guy feels his ex gf fixes all her problems now. This is especially true for my ex. THAT TRAMP.

[–]IAmPhilipFry -2 points-1 points ago

Risky click of the day

[–]jacktheripper678 -1 points0 points ago

My ex-wife's logic.

[–]LittleBigKid2000 -2 points-1 points ago

Boy,

That escalated quickly.

[–]Irrelephantgun -1 points0 points ago

My relationship with my wife was like that till we had a baby...don't have babies if you want a good sex life.

[–]Fuffernuse123 0 points1 point ago

REPOST ASSHOLE!!!!!

[–]milkman1509 0 points1 point ago

do you want him to repost or you saying its a repost ASSHOLE?