this post was submitted on
984 points (55% like it)
5,329 up votes 4,345 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,694,648 readers

8,586 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

983
984

How to Steal a Moving Car (imgur.com)

submitted ago by mrbazooka

all 111 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]jumbohiggins 257 points258 points ago

Brock Sampson does not steal cars. Cars just want Brock Sampson to be inside them.

[–]thahelp 22 points23 points ago

Brock Fucking Sampson.

[–]eak125 6 points7 points ago

One-half Swedish, one-quarter Polish, one-quarter Winnebago and quite a frosted murder cake!

[–]The_Blackfish_ 1 point2 points ago

I'm taking your fucking car.

[–]go-team-venture 46 points47 points ago

Go Team Venture!

[–]JediMasterEvan5 56 points57 points ago

My favorite Brock Samson moment!

[–]MeniteTom 99 points100 points ago

I've gotta go with the time he's receiving a cavity search and breaks the guy's wrist with his ass muscles

[–]Dr_Drunk 39 points40 points ago

Doesn't he then use the guy that has his hand in his ass to fuck up the other guard as well?

[–]Sornos 58 points59 points ago

Yes. Yes he does. He beats a man to death with the body of another man whose hand is trapped in his ass.

[–]Dr_Drunk 23 points24 points ago

That episode is probably one of my favorites. The screaming Ghost is wrecking havoc on the boat and Brock just comes out of nowhere naked and punches its head off. hahaha

[–]Clean_n_Press 14 points15 points ago

All of these are great, but nothing makes me laugh quite like the moment that he notices a lump in the guard of Underland's testicles while interrogating him.

[–]GernBlanstonInLove 4 points5 points ago

Also, that episode starts with that spot on Major Tom reference, which is great because Bowie is later revealed as The Sovereign of the Guild.

[–]Dr_Drunk 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, I've started re-watching this show from season 1. So stoked to see all this shit again.

[–]Marley_S 7 points8 points ago

For me, it's the one where he forces a henchman to shove his own finger up his ass.

[–]LazLoe 0 points1 point ago

I laughed myself to tears and out of breath at that scene.

[–]TheseIronBones 25 points26 points ago

The entire damn show is just the most brilliant thing made in the last 200 years. Perfect on so many levels.

[–]Waramp 7 points8 points ago

I've gotta go with the scene from the pilot episode where the UN guard tries to confiscate Brock's knife after he uses it to kill a crocodile. "Go ahead, take it from me..." The look on the other guard's face is priceless.

[–]Crestfallen_Username 8 points9 points ago

Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Khyzj5toqwA

[–]quincy_taylor 7 points8 points ago

I laughed for a very long time during this

[–]HakeemAbdullah 2 points3 points ago

My favorite is definitely "They hit me with a truck"

[–]Jutsy 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJJ7AopOjk4

Words can't describe the brutality and precision of this whole scenario.

[–]mrbazooka[S] -1 points0 points ago

Indeed.

[–]jflikk 5 points6 points ago

I'm quite partial to the naked bathroom fight

[–]Camedo 6 points7 points ago

"Niiiice ass, Samson."

[–]hayashirice911 44 points45 points ago

This does not work

Source: paraplegic

[–]Mekisteus 21 points22 points ago

It would have if you were Brock Samson. Or maybe even Shore Leave.

[–]wakewolfie 7 points8 points ago

Sphinx!

[–]eak125 1 point2 points ago

Umm... we didn't say it.

[–]yourmumsface 44 points45 points ago

Oh gee thanks ill try this next time...

[–]mrbazooka[S] 40 points41 points ago

What happened the first time?

[–]tweak4ever 58 points59 points ago

he died

[–]SwollenPig 42 points43 points ago

Damn, Hope he's alright.

[–]pile_alcaline 25 points26 points ago

Yeah, it was just a mild case of death.

[–]supasteve013 4 points5 points ago

Recovery time?

[–]need_an_username 6 points7 points ago

3 days.

[–]Zach12ary 4 points5 points ago

RIP tweak4ever

11/5/12 - 11/7/12

Never Forget

[–]Timetogetstoned 0 points1 point ago

Same as Jesus.

[–]initialgold 2 points3 points ago

Looks at medical history

Well it seems to me, Mr. Smith, that someone needs to be more careful! This says you've died twice already?

[–]bestkoolguyaround 6 points7 points ago

have you not seen your mums face in a while?

[–]dossier 8 points9 points ago

With this gif they both sum up everything I love about venture bros.

[–]vahntitrio 1 point2 points ago

Hopefully the new season has more Brock killing sprees.

[–]Thexthy 6 points7 points ago

Brock: Someone is in my car!

Hank: Now that's a super power. He can do that from 10 states away.

[–]WWJBTPC 15 points16 points ago

Or, how to steal your car back from a crazy twat mom that kidnapped the people you're body guarding.

[–]metarugia 5 points6 points ago

Thank goodness I'm not the only one bothered by the misinformation.

[–]mf-wu 8 points9 points ago

Brock drives an Orange 69 charger named Adrianne. That car was green. Also, Brock flew H.E.L.P.e.R to that particular confrontation.

[–]eak125 0 points1 point ago

I thought she was called "dangerhawk"...

[–]metarugia 1 point2 points ago

I could've sworn he was after his car that scene but then again I did watch all the episodes in a week.

[–]jesusray 2 points3 points ago

Well, this is the start of a new week. Better make sure.

[–]changatron 4 points5 points ago

who else was pissed at the end of the Halloween special?

[–]dgafuan 2 points3 points ago

Only because Brock didn't say anything. Why were you?

[–]JHallComicsJHallComics 1 point2 points ago

I didn't even know one came out, I just watched it. What's the deal with Hatred having tits? Was that a costume? It was bizarre.

[–]eak125 0 points1 point ago

The Halloween episode was originally written to be in the middle of next season but Doc Hammer decided to give us a taste before January. He did warn us that we'd see things out of chronological order at comicon [i think] about that if you saw the panel...

Source: Rabbid fan.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure it was a costume. Unless he's turning into Colonel Hunter Gathers.

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for mentioning it, I had no clue. Just watched it on the website. That was pretty funny.

[–]Kistoff 11 points12 points ago

GO TEAM REPOST!

[–]Legosora 5 points6 points ago

This was one of the first things I saw on reddit. Now it's been reposted... It's the circle of liiiife!

[–]ENKC 3 points4 points ago

Protip: it was a repost when you first saw it.

[–]RashidWasHere 10 points11 points ago

Or how to steal posts thar are up almost every week.

[–]Le_that_guy 15 points16 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Brock Samson doing what he does... 1com 15pts 3dys funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss. 141coms 502pts 2mos funny
Getting hit by a car like a boss 152coms 630pts 5mos funny
Like a boss 11coms 219pts 7mos gifs
That's one way to get into a car 1com 38pts 8mos gif
Boss Hogg Gangsta? 0coms -2pts 10mos gifs
How to get hit by a car like a boss! 1com 16pts 1yr funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss 271coms 922pts 1yr funny
How to Get Hit by a Car Like a Boss 23coms 96pts 1yr funny
You know you're a badass if you do this 43coms 191pts 1yr funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss. 397coms 2023pts 1yr funny
How to get a ride 94coms 674pts 10mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Tekuzo 3 points4 points ago

oh venture bros.

[–]NintendoDestroyer89 3 points4 points ago

Holy shit I haven't seen that show in forever.

[–]eak125 1 point2 points ago

Then you missed the Halloween special...

[–]TheeJoCanadian 2 points3 points ago

"Alright......we're doing this."

[–]gammon9 1 point2 points ago

This is how you jack cars in Saints Row: the Third.

[–]satirehigh 2 points3 points ago

repost

[–]Brambo94 2 points3 points ago

Brock is the Fucking man.

[–]tinker-tailor 4 points5 points ago

I didn't know a could be reposted so many, but it do.

[–]eak125 0 points1 point ago

A what?

[–]subarulove 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahaha awesome

[–]tetramitus 1 point2 points ago

Brock is amazing.

[–]marshalton 0 points1 point ago

dat wrist

[–]itssampson 0 points1 point ago

Simply Incredible

[–]SomeFakeInternetName 1 point2 points ago

I miss this show so much.

[–]asherrd 1 point2 points ago

There was a new episode last week. The rest of the season continues in January or February I think.

[–]eak125 0 points1 point ago

Correct.

[–]handjobbanana 0 points1 point ago

Soooo badass!!

[–]DrKlezdoom -1 points0 points ago

This works! Trust me, I'm a Doctor.

[–]Devinsanders 0 points1 point ago

Cartoons logic

[–]chasefooo 0 points1 point ago

I thought he was gonna do some kind of traffic signaling at first...but nope....

[–]fuck_its_my_ex 0 points1 point ago

I watched this for way to long.

[–]reddit111987 1 point2 points ago

After watching this gif...

I gotta go take care of something.

[–]stockmasterflex 0 points1 point ago

I would honestly want to attempt this in real life if there wasn't the problem of my neck snapping off and my ass hitting the steering wheel.

[–]jturkish -1 points0 points ago

which was first, this or matrix?

[–]jwick89 0 points1 point ago

Or be Brock Sampson.

[–]hughejam -1 points0 points ago

seriously the 3rd time I've seen this posted this week alone.

[–]Ken_ny 0 points1 point ago

Could someone tell me what this is from? I am still laughing, and need to know the source. Please and thanks!

[–]JohnnyCastaway 0 points1 point ago

The Venture Bros., a cartoon that airs on Adult Swim. It's easily one of the funniest shows on Adult Swim, which makes it that much more frustrating that they're so slow to produce the seasons.

[–]YMET 0 points1 point ago

I think we might have a new myth to bust here

[–]koy5 0 points1 point ago

Step one be Brock Samson.

[–]NeverEndinStorm 0 points1 point ago

This needs to be in a movie!

[–]Warwickist -1 points0 points ago

I accidentally read the first word of your post as "Howl," saw the word "Moving," and was suddenly extraordinarily disappointed when the last word was "Car."

[–]zackks 0 points1 point ago

Did you have to put your thumb in my ass?

No. But it happened.

[–]eak125 1 point2 points ago

My reaction to Venture Bros. Gifs!

[–]ME_LUV_U_LONG_TYM 0 points1 point ago

I definitely need to try that one.

[–]SallyImpossible 0 points1 point ago

God I love this show!

[–]eatmorerice69 0 points1 point ago

rewatched it 10x to see if he was going to use his sword

[–]BearBeatsLion 0 points1 point ago

Damn 3 days. Took longer than I expected

title comnts points age /r/
How to Steal a Moving Car 90coms 1068pts 7hrs funny
Brock Samson doing what he does... 1com 15pts 3dys funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss. 141coms 502pts 2mos funny
Getting hit by a car like a boss 152coms 630pts 5mos funny
Like a boss 11coms 219pts 7mos gifs
That's one way to get into a car 1com 38pts 8mos gif
Boss Hogg Gangsta? 0coms -2pts 10mos gifs
How to get hit by a car like a boss! 1com 16pts 1yr funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss 271coms 922pts 1yr funny
How to Get Hit by a Car Like a Boss 23coms 96pts 1yr funny
You know you're a badass if you do this 43coms 191pts 1yr funny
How to get hit by a car like a boss. 397coms 2023pts 1yr funny
How to get a ride 94coms 674pts 10mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]TBTLL -3 points-2 points ago

Still as funny as last couple of times it was posted.

[–]baseballguy123 0 points1 point ago

Step 1: get buffer than all hell

Step 2: interpretative dance

Step 3: lean into car and expect no pain

[–]Thexthy 1 point2 points ago

It's not an interpretive dance. He is positioning his arms so they land on the wheel, and stretched out across the back of the passenger seat.

But steps 1 and 3 are right on....

[–]eak125 1 point2 points ago

First you have to be one-half Swedish, one-quarter Polish, one-quarter Winnebago to pull this off.

[–]dadiddler -2 points-1 points ago

I think one of the worse framed posts of this I've seen. 2.2/10

Downvote!

[–]alyoxin -4 points-3 points ago

is that kevin bacon dying.....i wish

[–]jonnyrotten7 -5 points-4 points ago

Actually, in real life the guy who fell through the windshield would most likely get killed by the car, being thrown a hundred feet from the force of the car. Plus, he wouldn't fall through the glasss. He has no momentum behind him, so to speak.

[–]real_tea 6 points7 points ago

oh is that actually what would happen?

[–]jonnyrotten7 -4 points-3 points ago

More than likely, yeah. I mean, a car going that fast would probably kill a guy. Most windshield glass is very hard to break, let alone smash all the way through. And for a human who is hit at that speed, please.

[–]Klowned 2 points3 points ago

That's not just a human. That's Brock Sampson.

[–]Bojinglejangles -1 points0 points ago

Trust fall.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 26799 on app-128 running 320e81d.