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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 400

[–]itsmoist 808 points809 points ago

Oh shit. It's an octopus with wings.

We're FUCKED

[–]Jazzspasm 385 points386 points ago

Cthulhu motherfucker, right there.

We're all fucked.

[–]megacookie 69 points70 points ago

Kill it before it dooms us all!

[–]MisterFiend 55 points56 points ago

HIT IT WITH THE BOAT, THAT WORKED LAST TIME!

[–]ChrisBuch 45 points46 points ago

Hurry someone light it on fire!!

[–]myotheralt 142 points143 points ago

Really?! Cthulhu isn't enough for you? You want a flaming pissed off Cthulhu?

[–]VirtualAnarchy 200 points201 points ago

No.

yes

[–]IronWaffled 49 points50 points ago

Flaming Cthulhu you say.

[–]THAREALBIGGIESMALLS 12 points13 points ago

[–]GuessWho_O 42 points43 points ago

Science quits.

[–]Propa_Tingz 40 points41 points ago

"Large monsters from hell will kill you, especially if you set them on fire", said scientists.

But nobody listened.

[–]vfxDan 6 points7 points ago

Put the scientists in prison for not properly warning us!

[–]ueptvoovtpeu 14 points15 points ago

HA! See ya science! This is why religion always wins in the end. Scientists can't handle a little summoning of the flaming Cthulhu ever once in a while then WHAT IS SCIENCE GOOD FOR! SCIENCE CAUSED GLOBAL WARMING!

[–]IsAnyoneHungry 7 points8 points ago

A palindrome anagram for a name. Hurts my head. Fuck science, words hurt my brain.

[–]ueptvoovtpeu 4 points5 points ago

haha most people don't even catch that. They just have a feeling about it and can't explain it.

[–]livefreeordont 14 points15 points ago

Cthulhu

[–]da1hobo 5 points6 points ago

He is a tad smaller than he is typically represented. I think I could take him.

[–]vfxDan 13 points14 points ago

Probably doesn't even lift.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 83 points84 points ago

When nature tries to fuck you, you gotta fuck it right back.

[–]brokendimension 64 points65 points ago

I thought that Japan was a pioneer in this field.

[–]batmanmilktruck 17 points18 points ago

And thats how Gonorrhea started.

[–]StraY_WolF 22 points23 points ago

Literally?

[–]Shamborsky 11 points12 points ago

Tentacle porn

[–]jimbobhas 7 points8 points ago

octopus girl

[–]CarolinaPunk 13 points14 points ago

japan

[–]Kevlar_socks 2 points3 points ago

I respect your experience.

[–]itsmoist 3 points4 points ago

I knew you would show up

[–]XxGirxX 103 points104 points ago

you're dead wrong. http://i.imgur.com/9rOej.jpg

[–]Jesus_Faggot_Christ 162 points163 points ago

To me that just kind of looks like a shark wearing a fancy flowing skirt. What a pretty lady shark.

[–]Sharkictus 80 points81 points ago

Thank you, I try to give my wife the best.

[–]Squirrel_Nuts 81 points82 points ago

[–]Randyh524 10 points11 points ago

Where is this photo from? Is there a story behind this brave crazy man?

[–]newtype2099 7 points8 points ago

I've wanted to know this for so long.

[–]SandRider 2 points3 points ago

It was a long time ago but isn't this the guy that was trying to prove the sharks are actually somewhat docile/friendly and you could actually pet them? I think it was on sharkweek? I just can't remember the year

edit* This, I think

[–]rojlewis 11 points12 points ago

That thing isn't going near my penis.

[–]Duodude55 17 points18 points ago

More for me.

[–]livefreeordont 3 points4 points ago

dont hog it all! leave some for the rest of us

[–]KenuR 8 points9 points ago

WHY NOT?

[–]TheDuskDragon 14 points15 points ago

Bet it still can't swim backwards though.

[–]ArchangelleOPisAfag 6 points7 points ago

Wait til it reaches the end of the board.

[–]CreamOfTheClop 3 points4 points ago

Put some stripes on it, make it part tiger too.

[–]vuxa 22 points23 points ago

[–]thesimpletoncomplex 18 points19 points ago

I said I wanted to talk to Squidward. Not Squid-bird.

[–]LovingSweetCattleAss 6 points7 points ago

Repost to /r/birdswitharms ?

[–]FidelCastrator 6 points7 points ago

Pidgepus, which sounds too adorable for the terrifying monstrosity it is.

[–]dray96 6 points7 points ago

I, For One, Welcome Our New Flying Octopus Overlords

[–]SoNotTheCoolest 5 points6 points ago

I TOLD THEM THE OCEAN WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH. I TOLD THEM.

[–]bleakwood 5 points6 points ago

what? like proper fucked?

[–]itsmoist 2 points3 points ago

You quoted my favorite movie. Thank you

[–]gynoceros 59 points60 points ago

If I can try seafood, an octopus can try landfood.

[–]BetaCyg 10 points11 points ago

Sky food?

[–]treepulse 16 points17 points ago

Ogden Point is on reddit? I thought we're just "that town near Vancouver"

[–]Omni239 8 points9 points ago

Now you're "that town near Vancouver where the octopus ate that bird".

[–]yourdadsbff 2 points3 points ago

Well now you're "that town with the bird-eating octopus."

[–]the_hardest_part 12 points13 points ago

I run down here every week.

[–]treepulse 6 points7 points ago

Do you just run along the break water and out to the lighthouse? Sounds like a really refreshing run.

[–]the_hardest_part 6 points7 points ago

Nah I start at the Laurel Point Inn (there's a pathway that basically leads to Fisherman's Wharf), then along Dallas. Eventually I turn down either Oswego or Menzies and head back. Been too sick this past week but I'm hoping to be back at it soon.

[–]ASKing_Y 74 points75 points ago

That's as scary as a mantis taking down a hummingbird

[–]Distractionatraction 69 points70 points ago

I hate anything that reminds me of humming birds. I bet not many people have humming bird horror stories so I will tell mine. Slightly NSFL, but all I have are words (luckily!)

My dad lives on a mountain surrounded by wildlife. Prefect peaceful get-away. He has a humming bird feeder filled with sugar water. They come right up on the porch & we can watch them real close. Its nice, sweet. But one year he was over-run with bees. Not so peaceful to stay out & watch.

So I suggested that close by he should have one if those sticky strips that catch bugs nearby. He thought that was great thinking. He over-estimates my intelligence. Along came a darling humming bird, who promptly caught his wing on the sticky strip. My dad tried to peel him off but it just kept getting worse & worse, more stuck and tangled. He even managed to rip him off his wings at one point.

Finally my dad had to do the honorable thing and put it out of its misery. He put on a work boot, brought it to the driveway, and squashed it like a bug. Then had to pull the corpse and strip from his boot. Feathers & guts everywhere.

Now I just deal with the bees. No more ideas from me. :(

[–]GlowWolf 42 points43 points ago

:( Sorry that happened to you. If there's ever a "next time," just use vegetable oil to free the animal. It dissolves the sticky stuff. Works if you find some poor animal stuck in a glue trap too.

[–]Distractionatraction 3 points4 points ago

Thanks, but I'm really really hoping there will never be a "next time!"

I'm basically too traumatized to sit on the porch and watch them now anyhow.

& those glue mouse traps? Inhumane. I like the instant crack on the neck ones. Instant death is way better (except that pic of one that was caught by his one little mousy ball. I would link, but on my phone. That must not have been a happy death, starving while one if your balls is pinned down in a trap meant to break your neck!)

Then again, there may be painless death, but maybe not "happy death!"

[–]lagasan 3 points4 points ago

I've seen pics of mice that have torn off bits of flesh trying to get away. At best, the mouse dehydrates to death. Those traps seem deliberately cruel. While we're on the subject, rodent poison bait works by causing hemorrhaging, so the animal bleeds out internally, as I understand it. Quicker than a sticky trap, but I dunno how humane that is.

[–]bargle0 3 points4 points ago

(except that pic of one that was caught by his one little mousy ball. I would link, but on my phone. That must not have been a happy death, starving while one if your balls is pinned down in a trap meant to break your neck!)

http://i.imgur.com/9INyI.jpg

[–]SpaissOwl 4 points5 points ago

Yes! I was going to comment about the praying mantis hummingbird thing that is equally as "wrong looking" as the octo-pigeon awfulness.

[–]NightSage 99 points100 points ago

When there isn't enough food in the sea, Cthulhu will walk among us.

[–]boofire 75 points76 points ago

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[–]Misaria 81 points82 points ago

Would you like a large fries with that?

[–]ChronicMasterBaker 20 points21 points ago

Fucking goobacks, learn to speak English.

[–]Gonza200 18 points19 points ago

Oh Baxter, you know I don't speak Welsh!

[–]MagicalTrevor09 8 points9 points ago

I'ya Cthulhu, I'ya Dagon

[–]boofire 12 points13 points ago

My name is Charles Dexter Ward and I'm here to raise the dead and fuck bitches, and I don't see any bitches

[–]the_trepverter 14 points15 points ago

Well, I'm here to fuck the dead and raise bitches, so we seem to have reached an impasse.

[–]TheTallGuy0 44 points45 points ago

Octopus's are badass. Really smart, too. Read about one that was escaping its tank at night in an research aquarium, walking 15 feet, climbing up another fishes tank, jumping in, helping himself to some tasty fish snacks, then walking back to its own tank. The researchers couldn't figure out where the other fish kept going, until they set up a camera and caught him sneaking out. Thats baller.

[–]ghost_in_the_circuit 14 points15 points ago

As someone who has an octopus phobia and has always been consoled only by the fact that they're stuck in their tanks..... you've just ruined my life a little.

[–]Triviaandwordplay 9 points10 points ago

An octopus was found to be the culprit in killing of sharks in a Seattle aquarium. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFOEZh1Lbbg

[–]ImPhone 5 points6 points ago

There was one at the Catalina Island center where the schools would tour named Houdini. It would open it's tank and dissapear so they put a simple lock on the tank. This motherfucker opened the thing and got out still so now they have a 15 pound weight on the lid.

[–]Brian_Warner 4 points5 points ago

I think my favourite part of that story is that the octopus would close the door to his tank after sneaking back in, to cover his tracks. Terrifying.

[–]Mirrabell 6 points7 points ago

This was taken not for from where I live. Source and more photos here.

[–]totally_photoshopped 19 points20 points ago

[–]royf5 6 points7 points ago

Damn, you're good.

[–]WhereWhalesDare 7 points8 points ago

The ocean should have called George Costanza to inform him of the shrimp shortage

[–]cdq4199 3 points4 points ago

Octogull: The Return

[–]whatismyproblem 3 points4 points ago

It was tired of eating fish, so it tried chicken. Chicken of the sea.

[–]DigitalSpoon 3 points4 points ago

I remember this; a Victoria woman got her 15 minutes of fame! Source

[–]ajkkjjk52 75 points76 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Octopus: 1 Seagull: 0 410coms 1886pts 6mos WTF
Octopus grabs Seagull from water and eats it. 2coms 0pts 6mos pics
Red Bull Gives you wings. 3coms 30pts 6mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]mangletron 96 points97 points ago

Wow 6 months already? I'd say we're due for a repost.

[–]HittingSmoke 26 points27 points ago

But it's fun to be a pretentious cunt and karma whore by posting karmadecay tables in every single fucking thread.

Right?

[–]bubblevision 7 points8 points ago

Not every thread. Just reposts.

[–]bishagogo 10 points11 points ago

So, every thread then, right?

[–]jammerjoint 3 points4 points ago

Actually yes. Because I would not have seen this otherwise, six months is definitely long enough.

[–]funnywhennecessary 6 points7 points ago

This reminds me about a story of a young pike and a bird (of course without any proof). The pike caught the bird by its head, the bird fled to land, both suffocated.

[–]space_zombie 6 points7 points ago

you mean this? dumb fish

[–]paby 3 points4 points ago

You'd think word would get around the gull community to not try and pick up the things with 8 tentacles.

[–]pranavrc 1 point2 points ago

That looked like a small dragon initially. I hope things like these come out of Lake Vostok.

[–]Jesus_Faggot_Christ 2 points3 points ago

Boy it would really be embarrassing to be killed and eaten by a creature who lives in the deep ocean if you were a creature who could fly.

[–]NoodleMonger 2 points3 points ago

New Episode of Spongebob:

Squidward gets a Girlfriend.

[–]JohnnyElijasialuk 10 points11 points ago

I think the octopus raped it

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 42 points43 points ago

I'll handle this.

[–]ViolentOctopus 32 points33 points ago

Stay away from my cousins

[–]XxGirxX 45 points46 points ago

But it's the bird's fault because it was wearing a slutty outfit.

[–]EmeraldGirl 18 points19 points ago

Also, if it was such a nice bird, what would it be doing in that neighborhood?

[–]ModerateBias 9 points10 points ago

Well since it was rape, at least we don't have to worry about there being winged octopus mutant babies, as it is my understanding the body has a way of shutting the whole thing down in cases of legitimate rape.

[–]raf3776 4 points5 points ago

Ive seen enough hentai to know where this is going..

[–]Peewee223 4 points5 points ago

[–]xcforlife 34 points35 points ago

Oh sweet, the top comment from last time it was posted!

[–]Inhammable 2 points3 points ago

i upvoted, read your comment, then immediately downvoted. feels good.

[–]Pantalaiimon 2 points3 points ago

Carlos Schwabe's Spleen Et Ideal in real life.

[–]youjusreadmyusername 0 points1 point ago

Take out

[–]sillyparrot2102 1 point2 points ago

that bird didn't even see it coming

[–]esdot87 1 point2 points ago

Looks like a dragon

[–]SameGreatTaste 0 points1 point ago

We do not sow.

[–]aethelberga 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes, you just want seagull.

[–]lerbius 0 points1 point ago

At first glimpse I thought it looked like a dead baby dragon.

[–]FeculentUtopia 1 point2 points ago

Not really all that much left to eat in the ocean. That's the first thing it's caught in a month that didn't turn out to be a plastic bag.

[–]bloopenstein -1 points0 points ago

And its not even a seagull- its a hawk of some sort. I'm guessing the bird dove for a fish, and the Underwater Webless Spider (tm) snatched it from it's cunningly laid trap.

[–]hotproperty 1 point2 points ago

sometimes you have to treat yourself to something different.

[–]DaBrown 1 point2 points ago

Sometimes they are not in the mood for sea food

[–]Trashcanman33 0 points1 point ago

Yea sea creatures eat birds, just like birds eat sea creatures, crazy how that works...

[–]everything_is_pandas 0 points1 point ago

It's one of the cephalopod cherubs that shriek in a choir to announce the waking of Cthulhu.

[–]Luvs_to_drink 1 point2 points ago

nah that squid just drank some redbull that was poured into the ocean.

[–]LesaneCrooks 1 point2 points ago

Let me guess: Australia?

[–]highthought 0 points1 point ago

What I can't stop thinking about is how this octopus had the pleasure of eating something outside of its natural habitat? was it tasty? ill never know?

[–]BenRoyce 0 points1 point ago

now that you've seen that, read this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossal_squid

(whistles, walks away)

[–]megasaurass 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else think that was a small dragon?

[–]distinguisheduser 1 point2 points ago

It looks like that poor octopus just wanted to be an angel for Halloween.

[–]AlphaTrio 0 points1 point ago

It's the only way she can earn her wings.

[–]Roshinsky 0 points1 point ago

Success Octopus

[–]CdubWillia 1 point2 points ago

so now there will be ink instead of bird crap on my car??

[–]MythOfLight 0 points1 point ago

That's beautiful.

[–]Tuskaruho 0 points1 point ago

Seems we got Cthulhus proportions wrong

[–]Cpt_Waffle 0 points1 point ago

Guess it had a change of appetite. Its not everyday you taste bird when living in the sea

[–]ZoidbergJohnA 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, damn fish should stick to eating what's in the ocean!

Ding - Oh, my Salmon's done - be right back.

[–]pizzatime 2 points3 points ago

[–]alternatego 1 point2 points ago

Not enough fish in the sea - FTFY

[–]Bharding14 0 points1 point ago

bad ass

[–]trickstervillain 0 points1 point ago

Teacher says, "Every time a foghorn sounds, a giant octopus eats an angel."

[–]PizzaPits 0 points1 point ago

"It's all sucky and squeezy!"

[–]Shancy 0 points1 point ago

[–]punkrockscience 0 points1 point ago

What? You've never just craved chicken?

[–]TheBlackStache 1 point2 points ago

hey Octopus, the sky called , they're running out of birds

[–]Jonny-2-cents 0 points1 point ago

Well, I for one welcome our new octobirdpus overlords.

[–]Xexx 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the food is in the ocean to me. I know the octopus didn't take up flying.

[–]kmck96 0 points1 point ago

Please tell me someone else saw a dragon...

[–]ksmith247 0 points1 point ago

He's probably just tired of seafood.

[–]HiRedditImHereNow 0 points1 point ago

It looks like an octopus with angel wings. o_O Imagine those beside Jesus and the manger scene. haha.

[–]MichaelAV 0 points1 point ago

Wow! I never knew they would go for a bird like that! Does OP know if it made the kill or just scavenging?

[–]ritchie888 0 points1 point ago

Plenty more fish in the sea.

[–]guy_lovejoy -1 points0 points ago

Why is this in wtf?

[–]greeech 1 point2 points ago

every time you masturbate, an angel is eaten by an octopus

[–]Sjokomelk 0 points1 point ago

Take that you fucking seagull.

[–]nhmxz -1 points0 points ago

How is this Wtf, really?!?! It's a neat picture, something cool you came accross. Not Wtf..

[–]Duraace 0 points1 point ago

Man that is old news.

[–]SecondHarleqwin 1 point2 points ago

Well, I for one welcome our new avian-cephalopod overlords.

[–]L0llercaust 0 points1 point ago

Times is tough.

[–]TinkerGeeks 0 points1 point ago

Damn economy

[–]whitetrashvampire 0 points1 point ago

That's actually pretty cool

[–]planetzardoz 0 points1 point ago

Shit this could be a movie.... Vampire octobirds!

[–]FrostyDAdroman 0 points1 point ago

Video?

[–]slumpsox 0 points1 point ago

That bird is clearly in the ocean

[–]ronocod33 0 points1 point ago

OR There wasn't enough food on the land and that bird is breast deep in the finest octopus he's ever tasted.

[–]Firebird4Life 0 points1 point ago

Whoever said that there are plenty of fish in the sea apparently never counted on this octopus...

[–]Spaghetti_Bender8873 1 point2 points ago

It's fucking Cthulhu!

[–]TKEE 0 points1 point ago

Red Bull gives you wings.

[–]THeGaME41 0 points1 point ago

Misunderstood octopus, he just wanted a hug.

[–]evanstan 0 points1 point ago

I wish there was a video of what went down soo bad!!

[–]uhdude 1 point2 points ago

Atheist squid killing one angel at a time

[–]Masterb8 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, no...I never wanted to swim in the ocean anyway.

[–]salmansky 0 points1 point ago

KRAKEN

[–]clydefrog811 0 points1 point ago

Actually OP is right. Overfishing is a huge problem.

[–]AshTheGoblin 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure its been said already, but idgaf. FLYING MOTHERFUCKING OCTOPUS

[–]theoldicetongue 0 points1 point ago

there's always more fish in the... fuck, they just ran out. forever alone again.

[–]Maaaaadvillian 0 points1 point ago

Just the right level of weird.

[–]EManSavage 0 points1 point ago

Octopusbro is keeping your windshield clean and clear.

[–]ModernRonin -1 points0 points ago

Giant Octopus will eat all your angels! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!

[–]rmm45177 0 points1 point ago

Didn't his father ever warn him not to fly too low or his wings would get wet or too high so the wax would melt?

[–]ehpuckit 0 points1 point ago

That or they're in love.

[–]lmfaonoobs 0 points1 point ago

Or enough free poon..

[–]Jumpin_Jack_Flash -1 points0 points ago

Angel vs. Octopus.

Round 1.

Aaaand, it's over. Evolution wins.

[–]catpizza 0 points1 point ago

I feel like there's a metaphor for love in here somewhere.

[–]Trouterspayce 0 points1 point ago

At first I thought this was a giant fire worm. Octopus is cool though.

[–]Fun1k 0 points1 point ago

Kill it. And then kill it again.

[–]dcrypter 0 points1 point ago

I don't know what you are, but I will fuckin' eat you too!

[–]freakzilla149 0 points1 point ago

When I was younger I used to wonder if octopuses, squids and jellyfish were actually aliens who landed on earth but had to stay because their engine broke and because of the nature shows I used to think that maybe jellyfish were alien ships and they tiny aliens inside them.

[–]EdJofJupiter 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he just had a taste for fowl.

[–]High5King 1 point2 points ago

Looks like there wasn't (pause) enough fish in the sea

[–]grantswishes 0 points1 point ago

Tastes like chicken.

[–]aj450 0 points1 point ago

Or it's some kind of mutant Octopus which will one day take over the world?

[–]Jrwech 0 points1 point ago

Seagull is a delicacy where he is from.