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top 200 commentsshow all 400

[–]secretstoufing 220 points221 points ago

[–]w4tts 67 points68 points ago

[–]PillarOfSand 15 points16 points ago

Cheesus Crust!

[–]TheDarkProphet 4 points5 points ago

I'm ashamed of how much that made me laugh.

[–]KavodOverYoni 379 points380 points ago

"Well, there's genocide and starving people on earth, but I'm gonna make a Cheeto that looks like Jesus. That will surely prove that I work miracles." -god

[–]LtOin 128 points129 points ago

This cheeto could actually feed the entire world, but because people are worshipping it we won't ever find out its powers.

[–]Mike13815 56 points57 points ago

I am the one and only god. You should worship noone but me.

Except for this one guy.

You know, nevermind. Worship him. It's pretty much me.

You know what? In all fairness I designed you guys to question the world. I know you won't believe in me forever, over countless generations. I'll send you some questionable signs in cheeto-form in a few centuries.

[–]Not_a_ninja 19 points20 points ago

I don't eat Cheeto's. Could you send me something on toast?

[–]DOTS_EVERYWHERE 10 points11 points ago

He has already done toast. Maybe cheerios?

[–]macktastick 9 points10 points ago

Pointillism!

[–]geekblender 4 points5 points ago

You shall receive a Grilled Cheesus

[–]YOU_FUCK 26 points27 points ago

Nice try Cheetos marketing team

[–]champcantwin 6 points7 points ago

When you eat Cheesus he reforms 3 days later as a spirit-form of Cheesus.

[–]AtheistBale 19 points20 points ago

"I've really got a great week planned for Earth. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but some highlights include a certain hurricane hitting the East Coast and a Jesus-shaped snack. Stay tuned!" - God

[–]MirriMaz 4 points5 points ago

"And I'm going to send some shit over to Haiti again, just because."

[–]Virgil_Lee_Nobody 4 points5 points ago

"Finally, a savior i can REALLY sink my teeth into!!"

No? okay…

"At last!! A religion that suits MY tastes!"

okay, okay, hold on…..

Wait…..

Nope. Got nothing.

[–]PoliteCorp 115 points116 points ago

As time goes on, God will begin lose followers and lose his powers. Fucking with peoples food is his only outlet.

[–]Accidental_Ouroboros 113 points114 points ago

Considering how things are going, he already seems to be doing so:

6000 years ago: Create universe, earth, humans.

~4400 years ago: Flood world.

~3300 years ago: Part red sea, various plagues.

~2000 years ago: Heal sick, water into wine.

Now: Appear as a Cheeto.

[–]RHWiggles 30 points31 points ago

Is it possible to get any more insignificant?

[–]rescuetoaster 33 points34 points ago

He could affect the sale price on a box of q-tips. That's about as insignificant as I can think of.

[–]vapulate 8 points9 points ago

A cross shaped Q-tip is more insignificant. It's completely useless. At least the Cheeto is still tasty.

[–]wayndom 22 points23 points ago

Not if you're being attacked by a cotton vampire...

[–]In_Atoms_Bound 19 points20 points ago

Cotton vampires, the least threatening monster since polyestergeist.

[–]Lord_NiteShade 8 points9 points ago

Some people thank God for a sunny day, finding their keys, or pretty looking clouds.

[–]wayndom 10 points11 points ago

We had a redditor tell about her mother thanking and praising god because she found a parking space near the store she was going to at the mall...

[–]Noitalevier 20 points21 points ago

Also appearing as toast a few year ago.

[–]Allthatisjay 15 points16 points ago

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man kills god. Man creates dinosaurs. Man creates Cheetos. Orange fingered people inherit the earth.

[–]owlsrule143 45 points46 points ago

Somebody should make a virus that attempts to install a file called "Jesus" with the developer verified as "God" and specifically go through Christian email lists (like, thousands, not just 10 or 20) and see how long it takes for someone to go to Fox News and say "god tried to install Jesus to my computer!"

[–]PoliteCorp 29 points30 points ago

Oh I hope not. I dream of the day when "god" and "Jesus" are no longer in any vernacular.

[–]SucculentSoap 14 points15 points ago

They will be replaced by "Cheesus."

[–]KINGKRONG 11 points12 points ago

Cheesus is Lord

[–]Jeffuary 29 points30 points ago

God is gouda, God is grate.

[–]Nabber86 6 points7 points ago

I grate gouda onto my Cheetos and offer them up to Cheesus.

[–]BigPoopBreakfast 9 points10 points ago

Cheesus is lard.

[–]patientbearr 2 points3 points ago

unfortunately I think you'll be waiting quite some time

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 2 points3 points ago

Been a little much on the Discworld, lately?

[–]MintClassic 45 points46 points ago

Uh…here's the video. Kind of seems like someone would have posted it by now.

[–]holmadisc 6 points7 points ago

Amazed that I had to find the source all the way down here.

[–]Condarius 43 points44 points ago

oh my, could you imagine the look on their faces if you snatched it up and ate it? They might even cry!

[–]AccipiterF1 37 points38 points ago

Just say "body of christ" first.

[–]trash-80 17 points18 points ago

If they started giving Cheesus as the communion they would get a lot more people into church.

[–]Charrod 11 points12 points ago

And a lot stickier/oranger(?) pews.

[–]Ragna_The_Blood_Edge 3 points4 points ago

They'll probably kill themselves. That's how dedicated they are to the cheeto messiah.

[–]Hobbez 83 points84 points ago

Yea, look what someone else found.

[–]hakuice 106 points107 points ago

This proves the existence of penis.

[–]Thick-McRunFast 36 points37 points ago

Penus Christ.

[–]Seanio 13 points14 points ago

Thus sayeth the great penis in the sky!

[–]AndNowIKnowWhy 7 points8 points ago

Maybe it's a ...holy penis?

[–]clearly-obscure 16 points17 points ago

Oh my dear Fallus, we bend over before you.

[–]symptomless 5 points6 points ago

Jesus's penis.

I'm now a believer.

[–]moikey 3 points4 points ago

Dictater

[–]willxrocks 45 points46 points ago

People: Jesus, we need help feeding millions of starving children Jesus: Best I can do is one Cheeto, sorry bro!

[–]MakeThemWatch 20 points21 points ago

I think I have eaten at least three of these

[–]StormyRaynCloud 19 points20 points ago

How the hell has religion amounted to finding "biblical" crap in Cheetos bags?

[–]Ragna_The_Blood_Edge 12 points13 points ago

Dude check out Catholicism, they're finding biblical figures in abundance on tortillas, heck even in dog turds.

[–]mynameisbacon 8 points9 points ago

i mean, yea...that body of christ probably tastes way better than the unleavened bread

[–]yellownumberfive 14 points15 points ago

Yeah, in between causing all that AIDs and trying to drown the East Coast. Everybody needs a hobby.

[–]icechampion1 7 points8 points ago

Well this doesn't reflect well on my hometown of St. Louis

[–]agildehaus 5 points6 points ago

I live in Kirkwood, so doubly so for me. We're normal people, I swear, it's just this lady who's a nutter.

[–]Iamnotb0b 3 points4 points ago

Yeah. Most people here are, in fact, normal. ish.

[–]kwood09 4 points5 points ago

Except our Congressman is Todd Akin. And we also had Cookie Thornton. And Michael Devlin. And Kevin Johnson. Actually, we're kinda fucked up.

[–]jordansoltman 18 points19 points ago

Gods been working on some potatoes from my garden as well... http://imgur.com/XzMK4

[–]Ishmael12 6 points7 points ago

It's a diggle!

[–]theycallmealex 4 points5 points ago

looks more like a manatee to me. a manatee with arms.

[–]infamouscheater 6 points7 points ago

So sick that this is considered newsworthy.

[–]PopularPulp 7 points8 points ago

I'm religious and I find this stupid.

[–]xblindguardianx 4 points5 points ago

Cheesus Crust

[–]franzmeister1989 10 points11 points ago

Cheesus christ! Its a miracle!

[–]Nocturnalchunk 2 points3 points ago

Really? Come on its a fucking Cheeto. I love Cheetos as much as the next guy but I wouldn't worship them as a god [fixed]

[–]Grassgrow 3 points4 points ago

Wow, i never facepalmed so hard in my life when i read: "Found "Cheesus". "

[–]DJTC 2 points3 points ago

It would be ironic if it was a Flamin' Hot flavored cheetoh

[–]LordVassogo 7 points8 points ago

I think by this point, if there is a god, even it is laughing at the de-evolution caused by following some of these religions. What else explains a species with plentiful food supply and unlimited access to information equaling retardation on a mass scale?

[–]owlsrule143 3 points4 points ago

Don't steal my bacon, bandit. There's a shortage, pay more like the rest of us

[–]teh_bacon_bandit[S] 4 points5 points ago

It gives me pleasure to take others bacon

[–]creedofwheat 4 points5 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Really? 4coms 69pts 1mo funny
And they wonder why we don't take them seriously... 10coms 105pts 10mos atheism
Wait... What?!?! 132coms 918pts 10mos WTF
BEHOLD! It's a Christmas Miracle! Cheesus Christ is born! 73coms 392pts 10mos atheism
Meet Cheesus!! 1com 2pts 1mo pics
Cheesus has been found! 1com 11pts 11mos atheism
Found this on R/WTF thought it belonged here. 4coms 6pts 1mo atheism
Cheesus. 104coms 1067pts 1mo WTF
CHECKMATE ATHEISTS 59coms 706pts 1mo atheism
Cheesus 1com 6pts 1mo atheism
It's a revelation! "Cheesus" 2coms -2pts 20dys funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Dkjq58 0 points1 point ago

I live right down the street from this church! And knowing the type of people who live in my town, the fact that this is a news story doesn't surprise me one bit.

[–]Nikorasu88 0 points1 point ago

[–]ConsultingGeek 0 points1 point ago

Funny, I ate one that looked similar to that just a short while ago.

[–]elgiorgie 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how hard it is to clean up all the drool on the floor at this church after service every sunday.

[–]yall_cray 0 points1 point ago

you guys. i want to eat that cheeto.

[–]CrispyZombie 0 points1 point ago

I'm on the search for flaming hot cheesus devil

[–]neropez 2 points3 points ago

I'm atheist but its not fair to blame every religious person over a couple peoples stupidity.

[–]shteeeeeve 0 points1 point ago

Cheesus Crisp!

[–]Aketchup 0 points1 point ago

and i'm his friend Cheasus

[–]bmattix 0 points1 point ago

ll

ll

OMG!!!!!!! Someone call CNN!

[–]jbh007 3 points4 points ago

Wow. I haven't seen this here in a week.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Zerevorr 0 points1 point ago

america.....

[–]Kekkai -1 points0 points ago

... I see a giraffe. Or a lama.

[–]BARACKINATOR -1 points0 points ago

funny. If I had found that I would have just ate it and thought nothing of it.

[–]LordCupcake -1 points0 points ago

Cheese and Rice!

[–]Pancake4Sale -1 points0 points ago

It ain't easy being cheesy.

[–]frash23 -1 points0 points ago

That's hilarious xD

[–]Maikeru0162 -1 points0 points ago

Is it me or does it look like a dick with dis-inflated balls?

[–]LonelyCannibal 1 point2 points ago

I think the word you want is "deflated".

[–]molemon -1 points0 points ago

This surely can't be the first time a cheeto has been formed in a shape like that. Think about all the miracles we missed out on

[–]lifestory -1 points0 points ago

There are no words for this kind of stupidity. I've already said too much.

[–]DJNAHNAHNAH -1 points0 points ago

This makes me sad.

[–]ismaris -1 points0 points ago

God spends time molding carcinogenic food stuffs into shitlog/cross hybrid shapes.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Some people will hold onto anything.

[–]drhagey -1 points0 points ago

Praise Cheesus

[–]imvladbro -1 points0 points ago

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this Cheesus was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. A picture'ss a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in. Thank you Cheesus.

[–]kierono10 -1 points0 points ago

God: Hey Angel Gabriel! Look what I've been doing for the past week!

Gabriel: You made a Cheeto version of your son? Those people down there got hit by a terrible hurricane!

God: Oh shit...

Gabriel: Yeah, how are you going to spin this one to the Christians?

God: I'll just say it was punishment for homosexuality or some shit, they normally go for that kinda crap.

[–]OctopusBrine -1 points0 points ago

Now that's what I call an American Idol

[–]Low_Bridge -1 points0 points ago

Why the hell is this on the front page, this happened like...a long time ago

[–]SpinyLumpsucker -1 points0 points ago

all I thought of what that leaf clip frodo receives in the elven forest

[–]YachtsOnDaaReg -1 points0 points ago

Checkmate Atheists

[–]ozzyhola -1 points0 points ago

This makes me wonder, do people who work in a Cheetos or any kind of food factory keep an eye out for jesus/religious foodstuffs?

[–]chileverde69 -1 points0 points ago

people like this make our religion look stupid

[–]meupsta -1 points0 points ago

In queso trouble, pray to Cheesus.

[–]Popcom -1 points0 points ago

This isn't surprising. The entire religion is based around grasping at straws

[–]Holystone -2 points-1 points ago

If i had found "Cheesus" i would say; "Wow" then proceded to eat cheesus and go about my day. i would not contact the press, but that is perehaps why cheesus didn't choose me.. idk

[–]stinkypooper -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus Christ!

[–]ascenzion -1 points0 points ago

God this is so fucking dumb it hurts, these fucking people man. I really hope it's all an elaborate troll

[–]JasonYaya -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus...the savior that goes crunch!

[–]weirdo_wayne -1 points0 points ago

What if this was the last piece of food on earth, would you eat Cheesus?

[–]Nocurefordumb -1 points0 points ago

[–]warpfield -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus H. Christ, what next :)

[–]cametomysenses -1 points0 points ago

He might as well play the role of "Cheesus," since he hasn't been answering his calls for quite a while now...

[–]pandacoke32 -1 points0 points ago

ChessusCrust?

[–]RPrevolution -1 points0 points ago

Makes you wonder whether they're trolls who want Christianity to look bad

[–]Vikingmattress 0 points1 point ago

In all fairness, if I were god this is the kind of shit I would do.

[–]MJE123 0 points1 point ago

Pathetic. Grown people believing in fairy stories.

[–]HOT-DAWG -1 points0 points ago

For a second, I thought it said "Romney"

[–]floralmuse -1 points0 points ago

It makes me sad that this was a United Methodist. Usually one of the more sane denominations...

[–]Zantar 0 points1 point ago

They have to make Chester Cheetah a saint now.

[–]LilCnigs -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus christ

[–]GenericUser7557 0 points1 point ago

This is old, but still funny lol.

[–]fellatemeslowly -1 points0 points ago

hmm. i was wondering where all the help was in newyork

[–]Mrpeng1 -1 points0 points ago

Am I the only one that finds Cheetos shaped like that in almost every bag?

[–]kidtkd73 -1 points0 points ago

How can this even be a news article...

[–]anawfullotoffalafel -1 points0 points ago

I'd eat that cheeto in a second without hesitation, without remorse. muahah

[–]Garryfre -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus Christ!

[–]ximaxxxx -1 points0 points ago

They say god travels in many forms......

[–]breatherevenge -1 points0 points ago

i lold when i read "Found cheesus"

[–]YesSatan -1 points0 points ago

[–]xSHITx -1 points0 points ago

This is way cooler than the Jesus Christ Tortilla.

[–]AMDkiin -1 points0 points ago

I wish other Christians would drop dumb shit like this.

[–]NorwegianPearl -1 points0 points ago

It ain't easus being cheesus

[–]tux68 0 points1 point ago

I knew they tasted too damn good to be man made.

[–]drock515 0 points1 point ago

This made the news? Jesus asterisk Christ

[–]bonny_peg_o_ramsey -1 points0 points ago

I like how that jewelry box has been transformed into a makeshift reliquary for Cheesus.

[–]coldlogic -1 points0 points ago

Anyone else want to find it and eat it right in front of them?

[–]xebes 0 points1 point ago

Throw that thing away! It's not a cross! It's a 'T', as in TALIBAN!

[–]i_win_a_lot 0 points1 point ago

Looks legit.

[–]rachelface83 0 points1 point ago

who in the world besides this lady stops to look at the SHAPE of cheetos before eating them??

that is all.

[–]Rivoch 0 points1 point ago

Chesus Christ!

[–]matty2fresh 0 points1 point ago

anyone who has eaten Cheetos has had at least 1 of those.

I think they are standard just like the caveman club shaped ones.

[–]trash-80 0 points1 point ago

0 grams of transfat. miraculous.

[–]Xonadu 0 points1 point ago

Damn, I used to go to that church. People wonder why I don't believe in god anymore...

[–]makuta2 0 points1 point ago

Lol, I want to work at a Cheeto Factory now, be making Cheesuses everyday

[–]AnnyongFunke 0 points1 point ago

Really?....

[–]PenguinSunday 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who thinks Frito-lay should jump on this? "CHEESUS: THE HOLY BRAND OF CHEETOS. Liven up your revival or add some flavor to your fellowship dinner! Now with flamin' hot Lucifer for that spice you need without getting thrown in the lake of fire! ORDER NOW!"

[–]wayndom 0 points1 point ago

You'd think an all-knowing, all-powerful being would be a better sculptor, wouldn't you?

[–]calvin1973 1 point2 points ago

The difference between this Jesus and the other one is that cheetos can actually help someone who is starving

[–]taymaytay -1 points0 points ago

Repost.

[–]Behemoth29 -1 points0 points ago

Wow... what sad cunts

[–]fish_to_the_top -1 points0 points ago

See you guys, he wasn't punishing the homos with Sandy, it just slipped through while he was making this masterpiece. ಠ_ಠ

[–]MickeyFlykick -1 points0 points ago

The band 'Idiot Flesh' did a song/sketch called cheesus.

[–]Jmrwacko -1 points0 points ago

Cheesus Christ Superstar

[–]ThePersonalCheesus -1 points0 points ago

Yes.

[–]Mushy_64 -1 points0 points ago

"It ain't easy being cheesy" - Jesus.

[–]Blindsid3d -1 points0 points ago

He's been pretty busy trying to help Tim Tebow win football games.

[–]-Hastis- -1 points0 points ago

Winner of the 2012 miracle of the year award : Cheesus!

[–]Markarianp -1 points0 points ago

Looks more like a dick to me

[–]shpongolian -1 points0 points ago

Found "Cheesus"

Jesus, that's cheesy

[–]myusernamestaken -1 points0 points ago

mother of FM are these people insane.... you really do produce the crazies, don't you, America?

[–]ValidResponse -1 points0 points ago

As a catholic, things like these really cheese me off. These people are loonies who are looking for their 15 minutes.

[–]the_amazin_camib -1 points0 points ago

Looks more like a T...

[–]OneKnight2Live -1 points0 points ago

Another sign of the Apocalypse, coming soon to a convenience store near you!

[–]therickster18 -1 points0 points ago

[–]jemzinthekop -1 points0 points ago

No wonder people are so overweight.... the body of Christ is full of trans fat and sodium!

[–]dangermousejnr 0 points1 point ago

Surely this is a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man?

[–]EllyNeko 0 points1 point ago

No. I just. No. I'm done here.

[–]Iokuas 0 points1 point ago

God works in mysterious ways. What, you thought it was his job to stop bad weather? Nah, bible explicitly states he's hands off with all that stuff, all he cares about is fucking with out heads by randomly using his omnipotence to make foodstuffs that random morons think look like him.

[–]CheesesofNazzerath -1 points0 points ago

I approve these cheese related thread!

[–]M_Allen108 -1 points0 points ago

god damn't...

[–]Shroom_mole -1 points0 points ago

This is the generic r/atheism post. Compares the best of science to the worst of religion. Never mind the Red Cross/Crescent and numerous other religious charities.

[–]cheesuscristos -1 points0 points ago

I AM THE LORDS ONLY BEGOTTEN SNACK.

[–]Whoknew08 0 points1 point ago

Cheesus has risen

[–]MightyMadFresh 0 points1 point ago

If I worked at a Cheeto factory I would spend as much time as possible trying to create crosses and Jesus and Mary out of cheesy poofs.

[–]punyninja91 0 points1 point ago

i would have just ate it

[–]fantasyfest 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the devils face.

[–]tangowonton 0 points1 point ago

Jews for Cheesus... Anyone?

[–]agnox 0 points1 point ago

are..you..fucking serious

[–]Banchorian 0 points1 point ago

This could be taken straight out of a satire. Seriously, this is actually real? Cheesus Christ...

[–]Possibly-Gay 0 points1 point ago

The Priest and the whole filming crew sort of realize how absurd all this is. The Priest sort of shrugs it aside as no, but it could be helpful to attract other people.

[–]Pnhan89 0 points1 point ago

I am a Catholic, and to me this is a stupid story.

[–]CheesusDairyMessiah -1 points0 points ago

I HAVE RISEN. WORSHIP ME MORTALS.

Edit: that was my chance and I blew it.

[–]karmacelina -1 points0 points ago