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Canadian Standoff (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by bottomofthebottle

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[–]benserwa 35 points36 points ago

I'm Canadian and I've been in this scenario.

[–]kraken_kitty 12 points13 points ago

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

[–]gulpeg 13 points14 points ago

How about this one? http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcdi9vqH2t1qc3bl3o1_500.gif

[–]XaroXhoanDucksauce 4 points5 points ago

Ah yes, the "Canadian Police Chase" of 2006.

[–]poubelle 0 points1 point ago

that's freakin' adorable.

[–]marbiee 1 point2 points ago

live in alberta by chance?!.

[–]benserwa 7 points8 points ago

BC. bong hit bubbling sounds

[–]danthemango 0 points1 point ago

I LIVE IN BEEE (bubbling) SEA!

[–]bradgillap 0 points1 point ago

At least once a week!

[–]Ingmundar 1 point2 points ago

Every time I go through the door in my building this happens. It is busy and there is no window, so you open the door for them and step to the side. You say sorry, because you're in the way; they say thank you, because you're holding the door for them. Every damn time.

[–]Mirm83 1 point2 points ago

So many times!! The worst is when it is with a guy (I'm a girl), and he just can't escape his man box and walk through first or let me hold the door for him.

[–]StandingTheGaff 5 points6 points ago

I'm a big door holder myself and I quite like when women hold the door for me if they're there first or on the pull side; 21st century whoot!

[–]thelawnranger 2 points3 points ago

They might just want a look at your ass.

[–]Mirm83 2 points3 points ago

Baha! It's hard to miss!

[–]Achalemoipas 71 points72 points ago

A Mexican standoff involves three opponents.

[–]disco_dante 21 points22 points ago

So we're looking at some kind of revolving door scenario here for a Canadian Standoff I guess?

[–]doctorofphysick 2 points3 points ago

Two people entering the door and one person exiting, and one of them is holding the door open. All of them standing there telling the others to go ahead.

[–]disco_dante 1 point2 points ago

It's like the Perfect Storm

[–]scootercity 10 points11 points ago

sorry

[–]bigpoppastevenson 1 point2 points ago

Shut it.

[–]TheRedBarrage 2 points3 points ago

Sorry.

[–]gogocanada 0 points1 point ago

I literally stopped in mid-laugh when I saw your comment. The submitter should be ashamed for telling us a joke that is totally based on a lie.

[–]Bender248 87 points88 points ago

People forget way too quickly. Oka crisis ? anyone ?

[–]noreallyimeanit 77 points78 points ago

Forget? The average redditor is too young to know about it.

[–]eMan117 51 points52 points ago

tell us a story, pa

[–]Magoran 5 points6 points ago

21 right now, definitely learned about this in Civic Studies when I was 16

[–]Din182 2 points3 points ago

15 and I learned about it last year.

[–]GeologySucks 3 points4 points ago

26 and never learned a damn thing about it. Too young to remember it, too old for it to have been in the curriculum.

[–]Mustard-Tiger 0 points1 point ago

I'm 25 we learned about this is high school.

[–]GeologySucks 0 points1 point ago

Meh. My Canadian history course never got past WWII and civics was a joke-course.

None of my other courses touched on any sort of Canadian issues. I might have learned about it if I'd taken more arts-type courses but it definitely wasn't covered in any mandatory course at my school.

[–]Dontknowme1986 0 points1 point ago

You must have been as stoned as me in class.

[–]spankr 2 points3 points ago

40 now, friends of mine were there... On the military side. If it went on any longer than it did, I would have been there. Glad it didn't.

[–]Mustard-Tiger 0 points1 point ago

TIL we don't have history classes in Canada.

[–]jrblast 51 points52 points ago

Quebecers and Natives. That's hardly your average Canadian.

Edit: After hitting submit I realized how racist this joke sounds, but I hate those jerks who delete comments so I'm leaving this here.

[–]keithioapc 24 points25 points ago

I'd say the average Canadian is something or other, and Quebecers and Natives are both something or other, so they are both average Canadians.

[–]StandingTheGaff 3 points4 points ago

Not quantitatively intensive, but I rather like this description.

[–]poubelle 1 point2 points ago

It's wonderfully Canadian! I like it too.

[–]Skyler0 1 point2 points ago

mmm tossed salad.

[–]Saganomics 0 points1 point ago

Both here before the ROC, though.

[–]spankr 0 points1 point ago

"Quebecers"? The RCMP and Army on one side of the barricades were made up of Canadians from all over.

[–]danthemango 0 points1 point ago

I would hardly consider 'Quebecer' a race

[–]readzalot1 7 points8 points ago

I can't remember who I thought was in the wrong, but I do remember feeling admiration for the soldier who didn't flinch then the big guy yelled at him.

[–]Ingmundar 11 points12 points ago

When you're low down in the Canadian Forces, everyone yells at you.

I think it is also pretty clear that we let this situation escalate over nothing. It was sparked over the expansion of a golf course into native lands. There was definitely a much more diplomatic way to have handled this.

[–]Marshall_Lawson 5 points6 points ago

like not expanding a stupid golf course? wow

[–]Ingmundar 1 point2 points ago

Exactly. Who the fuck cares that much about a golf course to send in the troops?

[–]SuperSoggyCereal 1 point2 points ago

Once the conflict started it was no longer about the gold course; that was just the spark.

[–]Ingmundar 1 point2 points ago

That's what I said, it was the spark. We shouldn't have lit the powder keg, we should have tried to diffuse the entire situation diplomatically.

[–]ChickenBaconPoutine 12 points13 points ago

That soldier ended up doing porn movies.

[–]seconddealer 9 points10 points ago

Source? (I don't want to see it. I'm just skeptical)

[–]mc_thomp 17 points18 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Cloutier

There ya go

[–]Ingmundar 9 points10 points ago

That is fucking bizarre.

[–]Ajax00 7 points8 points ago

In 1995, Cloutier appeared in a pornographic film entitled Quebec Sexy Girls II, which spoofed his confrontation

For the lazy.

[–]fry_hole 6 points7 points ago

Wow, that didn't go as well as I hoped.

[–]seconddealer 0 points1 point ago

Thank you.

[–]poubelle 2 points3 points ago

I like how normally when people ask for sources, they're like "I'm not questioning your credibility, I'd just like to read that."

Whereas you're like "I don't want to actually see it, I just need proof that you know what you're talking about!"

[–]Thevik 0 points1 point ago

Same here.

[–]XaroXhoanDucksauce 3 points4 points ago

He briefly appeared in one porn movie over a decade ago. He wasn't even nude.

[–]Bender248 4 points5 points ago

got promoted and went through a bad coke habit before ending up in porn

[–]spankr 0 points1 point ago

One film that mimicked his Oka standoff doesn't really mean "ended up doing porn movies"

[–]immaculate_deception 4 points5 points ago

Let us all not forget the large amount of violence that occurs between protesters and police during large protests. And the multiple riots in Montreal during the past decade. I'm really getting tired of this bullshit utopian paradise that people from out of Canada think we have going on here. And the Canadians that water down some serious issues with violence that occurs in some parts of Canada.

[–]poubelle 5 points6 points ago

relax buddy

[–]bananabody 6 points7 points ago

I had never heard of this. Thanks for giving me something to look up and subsequently feel Canadian guilt over.

[–]Ingmundar 9 points10 points ago

The Oka Crisis isn't the only really shitty thing that the Government of Canada has been behind. Japanese Internment Camps? Mistreatment and abuse of native, dukhbor (spelling is definitely off), and disabled children? That was also us.

[–]azizgolshani -2 points-1 points ago

That was also us.

Our parents/grandparents.

[–]noreallyimeanit 3 points4 points ago

Our parents/grandparents

The government in power at the time.

[–]azizgolshani 2 points3 points ago

Some of the problems were specific to government, other problems were culturally entrenched.

[–]noreallyimeanit -1 points0 points ago

I agree, but I thought it would be fussy to mention that.

[–]azizgolshani 0 points1 point ago

Fair enough. I guess if we're being really picky there are probably some old redditors here, anyways.

[–]escozzia 0 points1 point ago

in a democracy, shouldn't those be equivalent?

[–]azizgolshani 0 points1 point ago

Not necessarily. People don't vote for every decision governments make, and aboriginal relations certainly wasn't high on the priority lists of the everyday Canadian circa the early 20th century.

Past Canadian governments made a lot of mistakes dealing with our first nations people. And while I think you can probably fault Canadian voters for apathy, and maybe even malice in specific instances; it would be a mistake to blame Canadians, as a people, for the full range of bureaucratic blunders.

[–]penteyrn 0 points1 point ago

My grandparents aren't from this country :D

[–]azizgolshani 4 points5 points ago

My father is an immigrant and my mother's family came to Upper Canada in the early 19th century. So I like to think I'm only half to blame.

But in all seriousness, I think trying to lay blame is a very superficial response to the current systemic inequalities.

[–]penteyrn 0 points1 point ago

Of course you're going to say that, you're half to blame.

(I kid)

I wanted to respond to the current systemic inequalities, but I realised I don't know what they are (everything I see referenced before this is in the past).

[–]azizgolshani 0 points1 point ago

I suppose "systemic inequality" may not be broad enough to capture what I all meant. But mostly I'm just referring to the complete vacuum of economic and educational progress among Canada's first nations people.

I think that it's important to recognize the historic factors that lead to the disparity we see today, but at the same time I do not think that trying to maintain a separation between aboriginal and Canadian governance or relying on systems of affirmative action will result in the empowerment of our first nations citizens. That being said, I don't have any profound ideas about how these issues can be solved. It just seems clear that current attempts to help aboriginals have been ineffective (to say the least) and the constant push to figure out exactly who is to blame for their plight is similarly useless to those still suffering.

[–]Bender248 -3 points-2 points ago

People in Canada are so self righteous it's not even funny. It's time that we get off our high horse and realize that our story is mostly one that we shouldn't celebrate too loudly. We had some great years in the late 20th century.

[–]Norse_of_60 2 points3 points ago

Oh fucking grow up. History is history. It can't be change, fixed or glossed over

[–]Jamcram 2 points3 points ago

The army turned a water hose on this man, but it lacked enough pressure to disperse the crowd surrounding him. This crowd taunted the soldiers and began throwing water balloons at them, but the incident did not escalate further.

Seems pretty Canadian to me.

[–]draivaden 0 points1 point ago

Haven't forgotten anything.

[–]creepy_neighbour_27 1 point2 points ago

Also the Toronto G20

[–]Nautical94 1 point2 points ago

They teach it in Canadian history classes, which are unfortunately optional.

[–]Sheogorath_The_Mad -3 points-2 points ago

As natives are quick to point out, they're not Canadian.

[–]immaculate_deception 19 points20 points ago

Thats quite the generalization. I see natives in my town wearing clothing with canadian flags on it. There is also a semi-separatist movement from some in this same group of people. You can't stereotype the opinions of such a large and diverse population.

[–]mccooper93 1 point2 points ago

Yes, because everyone of them thinks of themselves the same way. You cant decide how a whole group of people thinks about themselves. Whether they see themselves as Canadian or not is entirely their decision.

[–]seancanada -2 points-1 points ago

Canadian military didn't have rounds in their rifles for Oka.

Source: my buddy who was there

[–]shagetz 1 point2 points ago

Pretty brave to be painting "Chugbusters" on the sides of their vehicles with no live rounds to back that attitude up. Or cocky. Or just a bunch of dumb racists.

//edit since I'm being downvoted

I'm not making it up - this photo ran in the Gazette - http://www.flickr.com/photos/dawnone/3438797645/

From the photographer:

As soon as I had taken it, their commander was spotted and they quickly erased it . The army had been brought in to deal with the Mohawk warriors and ostensibly to keep the situation under control after the SQ had escalated the crisis in July. There had been rumours of racism towards Natives by members of the army but until this photo appeared there had been no direct proof.

[–]Achalemoipas -2 points-1 points ago

Ah yes, that great moment when the SQ stood by as hundreds of people hurled stones at men, women and children who were trying to leave Oka because its citizens tried to defends its rights.

Or as the official version would portray it: that time those savages blocked the bridge.

[–]alahos -3 points-2 points ago

brb lasagna craving

[–]oddspellingofPhreid 19 points20 points ago

I would just like to iterate that in the event of a so called "Canadian Standoff", the person on the pull side of the door should allow the person on the push side of the door to walk past first for it is way more difficult to hold a door open from the push side than the pull side.

[–]celester 14 points15 points ago

There is no standoff as this is exactly the right answer. The person who does not have to hold the door should go through first, lest he be seen as an insensitive clod.

[–]kraken_kitty 1 point2 points ago

Thank you! I was reading this on my phone and I ended up in this situation.

[–]senor_benzo 15 points16 points ago

I thought a Mexican standoff was when you and your roommates run out of toilet paper but everyone refuses to buy more.

[–]Why_do_you_suck 5 points6 points ago

Sounds like a Korean standoff to me

[–]hippiechan 0 points1 point ago

No man, Koreans are good with their toiletries. It's the damned Chinese!

[–]Marshall_Lawson -1 points0 points ago

Isn't that a Russian standoff?

[–]senor_benzo 1 point2 points ago

No, in Soviet Russia toilet paper runs out of you.

[–]doctorofphysick 0 points1 point ago

You should probably get that checked out.

[–]danthemango 1 point2 points ago

In Canada it's if you buy food for your roomate some food, he doesn't want it but is too polite to tell you, and it becomes rotten in the back of the fridge and nobody wants to throw it out

[–]DoctorWombat 14 points15 points ago

Hey guys, I drew this comic.

http://www.cheerupemokid.com/comic/24-hour-comics-1#standoff

[–]foszae 1 point2 points ago

on behalf of all the r/canadians who are too rude to even acknowledge you, thank you for being funny

[–]veraciousful 4 points5 points ago

I saw a cab driver honking loudly at a pedestrian not because he was crossing in front of him, but because he was waiting for the cab to go past before crossing. The driver just wanted to get him to cross first.

[–]devilwarier9 10 points11 points ago

This was posted last week...

[–]Ingmundar 2 points3 points ago

And has been all over my Facebook feed since then.

[–]johnsmithsvt 39 points40 points ago

DAE polite canadians? Herp derp

Thanks for wasting my time

[–]neoform3 26 points27 points ago

I live in Quebec, I have literally no idea where this notion came from that Canadians are polite...

[–]Wanhope 22 points23 points ago

That explains the separatism.

[–]mikemcg 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure it's a thing in Ontario too. I blame Quebec.

[–]ImNotGoodInEnglish 0 points1 point ago

Ta Yeule!

[–]danthemango 1 point2 points ago

There are some rude people in Vancouver too. I blame Quebec.

[–]mikemcg 0 points1 point ago

The rudeness is really just infectious and totally of Quebecois origin.

[–]KrimsonTide 0 points1 point ago

My dads an oil man. I was raised to not like Quebeccers.

[–]PurestFeeling 12 points13 points ago

Then you visit another province and wonder what's wrong with people, why are they being so nice?

[–]Ingmundar 2 points3 points ago

I live in Quebec, and this is notion that I have heard a lot. But then again most parts of Canada contrast themselves with the USA, and Quebec tends to contrast itself with the rest of Canada.

[–]Caskerville -1 points0 points ago

I don't think Torontonians are polite or considerate enough but I have been to many U.S. cities and there is definitely a noticeable difference in behavior.

[–]neoform3 2 points3 points ago

I've been to the US many times and was consistently shocked to see how polite and friendly people were with me...

Guess we've met different people...?

[–]Caskerville 2 points3 points ago

Individually, yeah, Americans are almost always awesome. But, overall, I found they're lacking in the public behavior department. Just a general lack of consideration for people around them. And the loudness. Oh God the loudness, haha.

[–]KrimsonTide 1 point2 points ago

That's because you live in Quebec.

[–]AshesEleven 0 points1 point ago

Same...

[–]PISSEDOFFCANADIAN -1 points0 points ago

GO FUCK YOURSELF THERE IS ENOUGH QUEBEC HATE HERE. I WAS ONCE IN QUEBEC AND MY ALTERNATOR BELT BROKE AND GUESS WHAT, SOME FUCKING QUEBECOIS GUY DROVE ME TO A STORE AND HELPED ME REPLACE IT IN THE PISSING RAIN. HE HAD QUEBEC LICENSE PLATES AND BARELY SPOKE ENGLISH AND REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY FOR IT.

THE IDEA THAT CANADA IS FULL OF NICE PEOPLE IS FUCKED UP BECAUSE THERE IS ASSHOLES EVERYWHERE. TONS OF ASSHOLES FROM CANADA ON REDDIT. BECAUSE WE HAVE NO FUCKING NATIONAL IDENTITY OTHER COUNTRIES SEE OUR MEEKNESS AS BEING POLITE. GOOD FOR QUEBEC FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY, THATS WHY THE REST OF CANADA HATES THEM.

FUCK YEAH QUBECKERS. CANADA IS ALL THE PROVINCES FUCKERS. THE ONLY REAL IDENTITY CANADA HAS IS BILINGUALISM AND WE HATE THEM FOR IT. GET FUCKED CANADA

[–]ngwoo 11 points12 points ago

Typical separatist. Separated you from your broken car and then separated himself from what he was doing to help you out. He even had the nerve to separate the broken alternator belt from the car for you. Bet he up and separated afterwards too!

[–]neoform3 6 points7 points ago

I'm a Quebecer, I've lived here my whole life... what the fuck is your problem?

[–]Fedcom 0 points1 point ago

If I lived in Quebec all my life I certainly wouldn't take all that shit that /r/Canada constantly throws at you.

[–]neoform3 0 points1 point ago

I think there's a lot of hostility on both sides...

People need to chill out.

[–]Josetta 0 points1 point ago

His username is PISSEDOFFCANADIAN. While the message that not everyone in Quebec is an asshole is valid, it's being broadcast via a terrible novelty account.

[–]Norse_of_60 0 points1 point ago

Lamest. Post. Ever.

[–]lazylion_ca 0 points1 point ago

Asshole Canadian here. I don't give two shits either way about Quebec or it's culture, or any other province for that matter.

Just shut up and enjoy it if you like it, but if you think that anyone west of Ontario spends any time at all thinking about Quebec, for any reason other than having to drive through it to get to get to the Maritimes, then you have a serious ego problem and need to check yourself.

We don't hate your culture, we hate the attitude that many of you seem to display which suggests that you are in any way worth thinking about, let alone hating.

[–]Fedcom 6 points7 points ago

Normally I'd say the same thing, but this is actually kinda funny. And it happens all the time too.

[–]KlovKlov 0 points1 point ago

You were on reddit and expected your time not to be wasted? Dat naivety.

[–]MasterMic 3 points4 points ago

Well aren't we better than everyone.

[–]immaculate_deception 10 points11 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/POLITIC/comments/12kc1k/canadian_standoff/

http://www.reddit.com/r/POLITIC/comments/12cj6e/mexican_standoff_vs_canadian_standoff_xpost_from/

http://www.reddit.com/r/canada/comments/12b3az/mexican_standoff_vs_canadian_standoff_xpost_from/

Just sayin

[–]frostynips 0 points1 point ago

That was useful

[–]limeshathrow88 4 points5 points ago

the most intense damn stand off in the world.

[–]Drwray 19 points20 points ago

Then it happens when you both finally move... at the same time.. And say simultaneously, "Oh, ah, sorry".

[–]Kirmz 5 points6 points ago

I imagine the American standoff would feature one armed man from the Mexican standoff, and one unarmed man from the Canadian standoff.

[–]BrutusHFX 11 points12 points ago

One armed man?!

[–]roadsiderick 3 points4 points ago

I don't know where you see these timidly polite Canadians. I am Canadian, and I don't have to look far to see rude ones.

[–]AnElegantPenis 0 points1 point ago

This is the reason why I hate this whole stereotype about how we're all so nice.

[–]doctorofphysick 0 points1 point ago

Personally I think it's one of the few Canadian stereotypes that's actually true most of the time. I see things like this all the time, even here in Vancouver, where the people (for some reason) have a reputation for being cold and rude.

[–]MrMagpie 4 points5 points ago

LOL this is funny. I have been calling this sort of encounter a canadian standoff for a few months now. usually happens in the office if you're walking and talking with someone. You get to the door and suddenly... Canadian standoff. No, you go first. No, that's ok, you go first. Oh no that's fine you can go first. And on and on and on

[–]pandapwnr 1 point2 points ago

happened to me 30 min ago

[–]gthec9909 1 point2 points ago

Those drawings are unbelievably cute.

[–]An_Emo_Dinosaur 0 points1 point ago

That is not a Mexican standoff.

[–]jessew666 0 points1 point ago

it's surely exaggerated here but isnt holding doors open for people and offering way to people common to most places?

[–]SuperBearJew 0 points1 point ago

You guys know that this is actually the official name for this right?

[–]jaaaawrdan 1 point2 points ago

Of all the "Canadian ______" posts I see on reddit, this is the only one that actually happens to me all the time

[–]Redditor8472 1 point2 points ago

The guy on the right ("Mr. Right") is being impolite. Mr. Right, by not exiting, is causing the guy on the left ("Mr. Left") to expend energy on keeping the door open.

Proper etiquette would have been for Mr. Right to offer to let Mr. Left through first and then immediately exited once he insisted that Mr. Right should go first (which, as you surely know, he would be expected to do).

Mr. Right, by not exiting in a timely fashion after his polite offer to let Mr. Left through was refused, has caused a very minor inconvenience. He should apologize for his thoroughly un-Canadian behaviour.

[–]DmagnusV 1 point2 points ago

I have been there many times myself. lol

[–]ReAn1985 1 point2 points ago

As a Canadian, I can confirm this happens to me daily... >_<

[–]carebeartears 0 points1 point ago

all the time..I'll hold a door open for people on the other side of a parking lot

[–]rainman_104 0 points1 point ago

Except at christmas, where you open the door for one person and another 30 pile through while you hold it like a chump.

It was so bad once I literally walked through someone to make my point...

[–]TheCrushSoda 1 point2 points ago

I can confirm this is 100% accurate

[–]FellKnight 1 point2 points ago

As a Canadian, I can confirm that this happens to me at least on a weekly basis.

[–]KaiserMessa 0 points1 point ago

As an American, this happens to me all the time too.

Part of living in settlements of varying largeness with other humans I guess..

[–]aptrapani 0 points1 point ago

Whoever is holding the door should go second as the door would close behind them forcing the next person to open it again.

[–]NowNowGuys 0 points1 point ago

Canadian standoff? I've always called this the Polite Chipmunk Problem.

[–]gehsickah 0 points1 point ago

As a Canadian, I cannot count the number of times this legitimately happens

[–]pokepoke 0 points1 point ago

I thought a Canadian Standoff was when two people get in a small argument and then continue to say sorry to each other.

[–]KingOfTheIntertron 0 points1 point ago

Every, fucking, time.

[–]1HitK0h 0 points1 point ago

Source of the actual comic

[–]kagneokami 0 points1 point ago

As a Mexican, hey, we're pretty damned polite too. You can't claim all that stereotypical goodness for yourselves Canadians. I've driven in Winnipeg, you guys aren't all THAT polite.

[–]lazylion_ca 0 points1 point ago

This is not a standoff, it's just stupidity.

If someone is nice enough to hold a door for you, you say "Thanks" and go through it and get out of their way so they can get going too.

Standing there and making the other person wait is just rude.

While we are on the subject:

If someone is carrying something, then the get right of way.

If someone you are following holds the door for you, you take it from them, allowing them to continue, and hold it for the person behind you.

If someone is exiting a building you are entering, let them exit first so they can get out of your way.

If the person in front of you is holding a door for someone else, you let the someone else go first, then take the door from the person in front you allowing them to get going again.

[–]dubstepdino 0 points1 point ago

HEY!..... I'm Canadian and that's true.

[–]gumpythegreat 0 points1 point ago

Happened to me leaving a Tim's with my hands full of coffee and timbits. Man held outer door for me, I held inner door for him. Standoff.

[–]simba21 0 points1 point ago

The Canadian stand-off doesn't make sense though. It's like one guy is inviting the other to come outside, and the other is inviting him to come inside.

[–]RickMercerLaughTrack -3 points-2 points ago

LOL

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