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all 146 comments

[–]Fatuity 321 points322 points ago

New business idea... Salt & Peptalk

[–]GWilson1297 80 points81 points ago

I'm patenting this.

[–]karanj 84 points85 points ago

Just make sure none of your corners are rounded.

[–]backdora_da_explora 37 points38 points ago

Apple joke.

[–]scorpion347 8 points9 points ago

I'm surprised they haven't gone after apple jacks yet.

[–]wooden_spoon 1 point2 points ago

Apple jacks aren't for bullies. We eat what we like, man.

[–]WEASEL_DEVOURER 3 points4 points ago

Cinnamon is da winna mon.

[–]notarapist72 5 points6 points ago

Salt and Peptalk ™®©patent pending

[–]GovmentTookMaBaby 3 points4 points ago

Fûck I needed 1.8 seconds. Thanks salt, you bitter cunt.

[–]wooden_spoon 3 points4 points ago

Wouldn't salt make for a salty cunt? Just saying.

[–]RoadToSerfdom 6 points7 points ago

Sign me up. I've got a quarter ounce of the finest sea-salt as payment.

[–]Eeveelutions 1 point2 points ago

Aha, I think I've found Tom Haverford's Reddit account.

[–]TotallyTugBoat 0 points1 point ago

Entertainment 720

[–]I_AM_TEH_HIVEMIND 0 points1 point ago

Are you a man or woman?

[–]humblerodent 141 points142 points ago

Also, that is where the word salary comes from.

[–]Jymzjameson 61 points62 points ago

what, really.

[–]humblerodent 88 points89 points ago

Really. Also the expression "being worth one's salt."

[–]Jymzjameson 47 points48 points ago

dude, what.

[–]Reesch 34 points35 points ago

Gotta stop reading this thread, my mind can't handle the revelations.

[–]Eldi13 58 points59 points ago

Thank you for signing up for Salt Facts!

[–]The_king_of_Wizards 6 points7 points ago

Salt is formed of Sodium and Chlorine, two dangerous elements. To cancel your subscription to salt facts, write "Cancel" now!

[–]hobbes987 9 points10 points ago

Sodium: Reacts explosively with water

Chlorine: Used as a weapon in WW1

Sodium Chloride: Delicious table salt!

[–]Quaytsar 2 points3 points ago

Just like:

Hydrogen: Highly explosive, gas at SATP

Oxygen: Key ingredient in combustion, gas at SATP

Dihydrogen monoxide (water): Vital to sustain life, liquid at SATP

Dihydrogen dioxide (hydrogen peroxide): Toxic, looks like water, liquid at SATP

[–]Shaysdays 0 points1 point ago

SATP= Standard Ambient Temperature and Pressure, for anyone else who doesn't know.

[–]Ajesteronly 1 point2 points ago

Cancel

[–]Probable_Foreigner 0 points1 point ago

Are you sure you want to subscribe to salt facts? Say cancel if not.

[–]Ajesteronly 0 points1 point ago

Yes, unsubscribe.

[–]Kinetic_Waffle 1 point2 points ago

I'm not going to compete with salt facts, but just to fucking blow your mind: Kindergarten is from German, meaning child garden. For growing children.

[–]tatersalad19 1 point2 points ago

who woulda thunk it.

[–]Jymzjameson 0 points1 point ago

lol

[–]The_Adventurist 4 points5 points ago

I know a few antique places in the Himalayas that have been in business for generations. They used to buy all their silver goods from Tibetans with salt because they just don't have enough natural salt to survive in Tibet and have to trade for it.

[–]backdora_da_explora 9 points10 points ago

BEING WORTH ONE'S SALT

[–]ItsSkitters 11 points12 points ago

Dude, too much. Too much.

[–]backdora_da_explora 17 points18 points ago

SORRY, SOMETIMES I TALK TOO LOUDLY WHEN I LEAVE MY HEADPHONES IN

[–]ooNegativeONEoo 9 points10 points ago

Also, being called "the salt of the earth".

Don't know, really, just guessing now.

[–]mrpenguin12 23 points24 points ago

Actually that's from the Bible, more about flavor than money. but this is reddit so... religion sucks

[–]Stratisphear 5 points6 points ago

DAE NDT AMA?

[–]Sylkhr 5 points6 points ago

Welp, I've been on reddit long enough to understand this...

[–]wooden_spoon 2 points3 points ago

SD :(

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 4 points5 points ago

Well someone call a brain surgeon cause you've just blown my mind.

[–]YogurtShaker -3 points-2 points ago

I was going to make some joke because you've been downvoted, about calling the lamest person ever, but I just realized I'm not on r/trees and I'm too high to attempt to have my joke make enough sense for any other subreddit.

[–]Dastak 0 points1 point ago

Such expressions related to salt are also in other languages. Eg: common swear word in hindi 'namak haraam' (namak =salt)

[–]sparklyteenvampire 0 points1 point ago

So what the fuck does haraam mean? You've told us half the story, you salty cunt.

[–]Jymzjameson 16 points17 points ago

dude...righteous

[–]HairlessSasquatch 8 points9 points ago

Radical

[–]Spawnlesslurkers 6 points7 points ago

Tubular

[–]movie_man 2 points3 points ago

Ahhall right Goldman!

[–]The_Adventurist 2 points3 points ago

Ay caramba

[–]Upthrust 5 points6 points ago

the ancient Roman practice of salting leaf vegetables

I am going to try this.

[–]Upthrust 6 points7 points ago

It never occurred to me that they might cook the vegetables first. Food is too complicated for me.

[–]iamiamwhoami 16 points17 points ago

Also the word assault is derived from the word salt, because in ancient times people would attack each other by pouring mounds of salt on their opponent.

[–]philip1201 23 points24 points ago

Actually it comes from Latin assilere, "to jump/rush at". This in turn comes from the combination of the prefix "ad" (at, towards) and the verb "salire", which means "to jump" or "to mount" in this context, but is in fact also the verb form of "sal" - salt.

tl;dr When a Roman says he's going to salt you, that means he's either going to attack you, throw salt at you, or try to have sex with you. So, homophony aside, you're pretty much correct.

[–]BECKSTERRRR 9 points10 points ago

I could listen to you talk about etymology all day.

[–]iamiamwhoami 1 point2 points ago

Who's going to try to have sex with me?

[–]brianbrianbrian 1 point2 points ago

have sex with you

homophony

I miss Jerry Vandergrift

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 4 points5 points ago

"I'm gonna salt the shit out of you." I think the only thing this would effect is a snail.

[–]sidneylopsides 3 points4 points ago

Gail the snail. It'd work on her.

[–]brianbrianbrian 0 points1 point ago

And snail trail also refers to the smearing of vaginal fluids across their partner or victim's skin (depending on the nature of the smearing). So it could be a multiple entendre!

[–]Drawtaru 4 points5 points ago

Also the term "worth his salt" referring to a person's value.

[–]Posing_Hipster_011 3 points4 points ago

TIL

[–]atlas44 31 points32 points ago

"Salt was such valuable commodity"

I'm not even a pedant, and that bothered me.

[–]HersheyHWY 6 points7 points ago

You're not the only one.

[–]nice_kitchen 5 points6 points ago

Might that be acceptable in an awkward way, as if "commodity" was taking the place of "cargo" or "tender" or "stuff" in terms of how the word works?

[–]ENKC 2 points3 points ago

I know "commodity" implies value, but I don't see a problem with this wording to illustrate the point.

[–]acog 3 points4 points ago

I think maybe they're commenting on the fact that it wasn't written as "such a valuable commodity."

[–]ENKC 2 points3 points ago

It seems my brain decided to read the 'a' in there.

[–]Good_Housekeeping 21 points22 points ago

Time to go back in time with giant bags of salt.

[–]chaos_switch 26 points27 points ago

And what? Crash the economy?

[–]ooNegativeONEoo 11 points12 points ago

Welcome to Obama's Thirteen British Colonies of the Eastern Coast.

[–]backdora_da_explora 6 points7 points ago

You'd need binders full of salt for that.

[–]MaxPaynesRxDrugPlan 0 points1 point ago

Since salt was so valuable because of its practical applications, wouldn't that boost the economy?

[–]boredatwork920 2 points3 points ago

Think of all the hairy prostitutes you can buy!

Edit: I'm retarded

[–]jamjam1090 11 points12 points ago

Cocktails

[–]UnBeatable73 15 points16 points ago

Heh tails.

[–]SassyLittleMinx 2 points3 points ago

Meh tails

[–]chodesmcgoads 11 points12 points ago

Ninetails.

[–]Reesch 6 points7 points ago

Heads or tails.

Not sure where we're going with this.

[–]Tek2674 0 points1 point ago

Sonic and Tails.

[–]backdora_da_explora -3 points-2 points ago

Techn9ne.

[–]Ceejae 0 points1 point ago

Also the word cock refers to a rooster, and they're pretty silly.

[–]karanj 10 points11 points ago

I half expect this to have "INGREDIENTS: SALT." on the other side or something.

[–]Ceejae 7 points8 points ago

Now we'll never know what was in it.

[–]D4rkr4in 8 points9 points ago

SNOW

[–]YogurtShaker 6 points7 points ago

I feel like if I were sober I would downvote this comment, but it's in all caps and bolded and looks funny so uptokes for you I guess.

[–]D4rkr4in 2 points3 points ago

I'm super drunk too, it's ok.

[–]YogurtShaker 2 points3 points ago

Oh no, I had just gotten really really high.

Edit: it's cool you're drunk, just meant that I didn't have any alcohol tonight, only weed.

[–]jftduncan 3 points4 points ago

"INGREDIENTS: SALT, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP."

[–]wrincewind 1 point2 points ago

salt, high fructose corn syrup (salt, corn syrup, fructose, flavourings)

[–]discontinuuity 8 points9 points ago

Screw gold, we need to go back to the salt standard.

[–]backdora_da_explora 8 points9 points ago

I'd still be poor.

[–]CallsOutIdiots 2 points3 points ago

At one time salt and gold were traded pound for pound.

It's funny today, but spices were a big part of why Europeans explored so much of the globe.

[–]L2_Confu 29 points30 points ago

TV has ruined me. Every time I see salt I think of Futurama: "That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!" –Fry

[–]Dat_Karmavore 17 points18 points ago

I don't think that's "ruined" your mind.

[–]wooden_spoon 5 points6 points ago

Every time I remember things related to a subject, all I can think is how ruined I must be.

[–]iamactuallyatree 0 points1 point ago

That's how the term "salary" came to be.

[–]come_on_seth 2 points3 points ago

Did the date ever show?

[–]iamiamwhoami 20 points21 points ago

There was never a date. OP went to the restaurant alone so strangers would think he had been stood up, because even that meager bit of attention is better than the empty void that is his life.

[–]YogurtShaker 4 points5 points ago

Nah, he doesn't do it for the attention, he does it for the discounted meal and free desert from the managers pitying him. He moves towns when he runs out of establishments to do this to, he's like a gypsy but instead of stealing half of what he buys he guilts you into giving it to him.

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

ouch

[–]iamiamwhoami 1 point2 points ago

That's my style. I like to kick 'em when they're down.

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

Popeye, that you?

[–]cubester 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure that this is from a restaurant chain called Col'cacchio (can't be sure, haven't been there in a while). I posted some pics of their pizza boxes a few months back:

http://imgur.com/a/6H2zw

edit: for those interested it's pronounced [call-kah-choo] more or less

[–]Krayons 2 points3 points ago

Best Pizza! Is it only in SA?

[–]xloadedx 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like them alright

[–]edapstah_ 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it's Col'Cacchio.

Though I've always heard it pronounced "call - cutch - e - o".

[–]bronzle 2 points3 points ago

But still enough time to post to reddit!

[–]galadian 2 points3 points ago

I would totally add that to my salt shaker collection.

[–]DISREPUTABLE -2 points-1 points ago

On my own? I've been on my own for only a few seconds and "I'm already as dirty as a frenchmen"

[–]thesaxmaniac 0 points1 point ago

This grammar is so fucking good I am having a grammar orgasm. Edit: grammargasm.

[–]Nv2U 1 point2 points ago

Houlihans?

There are a lot of little easter eggs like this hiding around that place.

[–]sonaaon 0 points1 point ago

Love the food, hate the service. Every. fucking. time.

[–]ProsithiusErvingMott 0 points1 point ago

Whoever wrote this is worth his salt. Or her.

[–]justkittenaround 0 points1 point ago

I read this in the voice of the ice king

[–]awgdawg 0 points1 point ago

Did you post this to Reddit because you ran out of time?

[–]Pyro718 0 points1 point ago

I'm gonna check salt shakers at every restaurant now. I'm gonna look like a complete fool.

[–]DeadWade 0 points1 point ago

That looks shopped as fuck.

[–]wsommers 0 points1 point ago

"such A valuable commodity"

[–]DollarsThanSense 0 points1 point ago

That took me more than 1.2 seconds to read :(

[–]EpicArnoldLol 0 points1 point ago

This restaurant's name is Col'cacio. Or something like that. Great pizza place.

[–]stillbatting1000 0 points1 point ago

Yep, salt is where we get the word "salary."

[–]RPrevolution -1 points0 points ago

Bah, everyone knows that

[–]Meatslinger 1 point2 points ago

To add to this: it is also where we get the word "salary". Salt was so valuable to the Romans that soldiers would sometimes be paid using it in place of coin currency, and it was favored because it was lighter to carry. "Salarium" was the Roman word to indicate the portion of a soldier's wage to be paid in salt.

[–]JustCallMeBen 0 points1 point ago

This is where the word salary comes from btw. People were paid in salt.

[–]J_Sass 0 points1 point ago

This is at Culccucios in South Africa right?

[–]darkfire916 0 points1 point ago

This actually helped with a homework assignment. :D

[–]fellandor 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes I think posts are re-posts because I've seen every single post that is new, so the next time I check and see it again ( separate computers) I think its a re-post....

[–]mrsdancy 0 points1 point ago

Hopefully the pepper shaker gives you that extra 2.8 seconds. Then your defiantly on your own.

[–]DrunkNFunky 0 points1 point ago

how'd the date go?

[–]pvtmichaeljcaboose 0 points1 point ago

Better then my salt container, all mine tells me is Morton.

[–]nodnarbiter 0 points1 point ago

They forgot an "a" between such and valuable

[–]bringerofjustus 0 points1 point ago

this is true! That's where the word salary comes from!

[–]tonygenius -1 points0 points ago

Why are cocktails called cocktails?

[–]HairlessSasquatch 1 point2 points ago

;)

[–]macaronisalad 0 points1 point ago

[–]RealGirls -3 points-2 points ago

Forever Alone ... condiments style

[–]YogurtShaker -1 points0 points ago

Salt isn't a condiment, it's a seasoning.

[–]wosnitza 0 points1 point ago

Cock tails