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all 156 comments

[–]david-me 188 points189 points ago

This is not funny. Lime disease is a real problem for horses.

[–]ThatGuyInYourRoom 5 points6 points ago

Horse lime is immune to puny disease

[–]BloosCorn 1 point2 points ago

Unless it's a puny pony disease.

[–]downvotemerightnow 120 points121 points ago

False, I assume everyone on the interweb is a horse lime until proven otherwise. It's the only way to stay safe.

[–]CapnScumbone 62 points63 points ago

YET THEY ALL LAUGH at people like us. We're the ones who will be laughing when they're laying on the floor, trampled and sour.

[–]notahorselime 27 points28 points ago

you're all just being paranoid

[–]CapnScumbone 23 points24 points ago

perhaps you have a point. I'm going to let my guard down for a few hours and relax.

[–]Absinth3 28 points29 points ago

THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENS

[–]CapnScumbone 25 points26 points ago

perhaps you have a point. I'm going to raise my guard higher than normal for a few hours and remain vigilant.

[–]VortixTM 15 points16 points ago

You should be more trusting, not everyone lies all the time.

[–]CapnScumbone 24 points25 points ago

perhaps you have a point. I'm going to believe the next several things told to me by anyone.

[–]Sea_Hatake 13 points14 points ago

You are a horse lime and you just don't know it.

[–]CapnScumbone 7 points8 points ago

perhaps you have a point. but i can't believe something while not knowing it. this paradox has merged together in my mind and a sentiment arises within me like the ghost of a damned soul....and i utter a mighty MEH.

[–]GlitchLord2 4 points5 points ago

My spirit animal is a horse lime.

[–]Frub8 5 points6 points ago

The horse limes have joined forces with the chairs. /r/ChairConspiracy is our only hope now.

[–]CapnScumbone 4 points5 points ago

perhaps you have a point. i'm sending a few thousand dollars and a crate of assault rifles to the admin...as well as the password to the department of the interior's Kinko's account that he may spread the word.

[–]shanoxilt 0 points1 point ago

What about /r/goat_truth?

[–]codychro 2 points3 points ago

Hitler did something wrong.

[–]CapnScumbone 3 points4 points ago

perhaps you have a point. he believed his astrologer about delaying the invasion of Russia until winter. HUGE tactical error.

[–]priapic_horse 3 points4 points ago

RES says that you've been on reddit for negative two years. Please tell me how to time travel.

[–]MrDressUphasSwag[S] 4 points5 points ago

magnets

[–]CapnScumbone 0 points1 point ago

two horselimes disapproved of my vigilance

[–]FueledByTesla 49 points50 points ago

so a horse lime walks into the internet...

[–]Frozenshades 31 points32 points ago

Annnnd? The suspense is killing me.

[–]Squalor- 104 points105 points ago

So a horse lime walks into the Internet, and he won't be in the limelight furlong.

[–]Splatypus 18 points19 points ago

Squalor- delivered.

[–]PinneappleSoup 6 points7 points ago

Indeed he did. Upvote for clarifying his deliverance.

[–]CapnScumbone 8 points9 points ago

I'll wait Tilia have a better punchline.

[–]soggydave2113 10 points11 points ago

I filly did a pretty good job.

[–]CapnScumbone 4 points5 points ago

It behooves you to try harder, but the mane thing is that you made the effort.

[–]HopeGrenade 2 points3 points ago

Horse puns? I say neigh.

[–]JontanD 2 points3 points ago

[–]MadMageMC 0 points1 point ago

My good sir, that was absolutely SPLENDID!

[–]lightsinmyhead 2 points3 points ago

And nobody knew

[–]TheFunNamesAreTaken 34 points35 points ago

Until now, that is?

[–]rorykane 43 points44 points ago

Pro tip

How to do this in:

~

Photoshop

-double click text layer

-Stroke

-refine thickness (2-5 pixels)

-adjust color to black

GIMP(Free):

  • Option A:

-Right-click the text layer and click "alpha to selection"

-Make a new layer and put it under the text

-Go to select -> grow and grow your selection 2-5 pixels

-Fill selection with black

  • Option B:

-Rightclick on text layer and select "text to path"

-Create a new transparent layer, move it just below the text

-With the new layer selected, go to the paths tab, rightclick the path and choose "stroke path", then enter thickness (usually 3 - 8px will do) and click "stroke"

MS Paint

-Make a text box with black text, Ctrl-C Copy the text.

-Make a new text box with white text, Ctrl-V paste the text.

-Move it around until it's just a couple pixels offset from the black text.

[Thank you to /u/icannotfly for Option B of Gimp]

[–]DarkSpoon 10 points11 points ago

Paint.net? :(

[–]ADD-Attack 2 points3 points ago

Gaussian blur on a separate layer, then duplicate layers until it is solid.

[–]DarkSpoon 2 points3 points ago

Nah, this plugin works better.

[–]Mike13815 4 points5 points ago

Ah gimp... I love you so.

[–]ytomk 0 points1 point ago

I spent a good 15 seconds trying to read the non-existent word in front of 'on' because of this fool

[–]Nj_all_day 13 points14 points ago

You can literally wear a horse mask with anything and it's instantly hillarious.

[–]dylansan 18 points19 points ago

Whore slime.

[–]mormontroll 4 points5 points ago

ew

[–]cathyblues 15 points16 points ago

that horse mask is quite versatile, maybe I should get one

[–]DeadeyeDuncan 10 points11 points ago

[–]AndreasFrom 17 points18 points ago

[–]JontanD 11 points12 points ago

I'm going to keep that link blue as long as possible.

[–]ibtbwb 5 points6 points ago

aaaaaand its purple

Happy cakeday btw!

[–]JontanD 3 points4 points ago

Thank you! :D

[–]YourFavoriteMartyr 1 point2 points ago

I wish you the best of luck.

[–]hornytoad69 1 point2 points ago

I think the expression on the horse is funny.

[–]newtothelyte 3 points4 points ago

$34 LOL

[–]perverse_imp 4 points5 points ago

Worth it.

[–]Hougaiidesu 3 points4 points ago

I haven't laughed like that in a while :)

[–]doomdonation 2 points3 points ago

Is that Mitch's office from Modern Family?

[–]springfart 0 points1 point ago

well, that's the most random thing I've seen in a couple of weeks.

[–]Dynamo-Hum 2 points3 points ago

whore slime!

[–]ZombieFaceXP 2 points3 points ago

He should have been a horse- radish instead of lime

[–]Orange_Wolf 2 points3 points ago

TIL Google employs Horse Limes.

[–]RoadRageRR 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one that read it as "whore slime"? Just me? Ok.

[–]dylansan 1 point2 points ago

Read the comments. There's at least three others.

[–]DalekCaek 1 point2 points ago

What about those who are satsuma donkeys? Or grapefruit zebras? Or even pummelo ponies?

[–]priapic_horse 1 point2 points ago

They know. Just not about the limes. No-one will ever know about the limes.

[–]spacecat220 1 point2 points ago

Today somebody at my school was wearing a unicorn mask. It was great.

[–]otterbox8 1 point2 points ago

I always knew that this is what goolgle employess look like.

[–]prototato 1 point2 points ago

They also don't know your Jason Voorhees.

[–]malikaj 1 point2 points ago

Well, now I do.

[–]mr_eyeballs 1 point2 points ago

You know too much. Now you have to die.

[–]RogueNine 1 point2 points ago

No one knows what it's like... to be a sad lime. To be a bad lime. Behind horse eyes.

[–]SquishMitt3n 1 point2 points ago

Horselime? Sounds like an sti to me.

Ba-dum ts!

[–]BladeRunner92 1 point2 points ago

That is hilarious!

[–]r0ckarong 1 point2 points ago

What should I wear for Halloween?

Lime costume? Naw, makes you look dorky and stupid. Horse mask? Naw, makes you look dorky and stupid, also creepy.

Let's wear both, twice the dorky and stupid and creepy³

[–]Ballfack 1 point2 points ago

So much want.

[–]ocarina_21 1 point2 points ago

I think I know, why you can't hold all those horse limes.

[–]mindaika 1 point2 points ago

You don't really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a horselime?

[–]MrDressUphasSwag[S] 0 points1 point ago

LMAO! AWESOME!

[–]Jrod11 1 point2 points ago

I just laughed so fucking hard.

[–]Shfifty_Fiev 1 point2 points ago

Awe, look sarah jessica parker dressed up as a lime for halloween...

[–]lilboreddude 1 point2 points ago

quit horsing around!

[–]Hey_Its_That_One_Guy 0 points1 point ago

Such a sour comment.

[–]MrDressUphasSwag[S] -2 points-1 points ago

Saddling up on the karma train

[–]kjbninja -1 points0 points ago

Why the long face with all this karma?

[–]Frozenshades -2 points-1 points ago

CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKERS

[–]yarmulke 2 points3 points ago

Neigh.

[–]DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT -1 points0 points ago

You also don't know if I'm wearing pants.

Or if I'm wearing anything.

Or if I'm masturbating right now. Right this second. While you're reading this.

[–]wishabay 0 points1 point ago

What's the thing behind the laptop? I see AV is plugged through it, why not just directly?

[–]Cryse_XIII 1 point2 points ago

I'm going as a banana unicorn

...I'm not very creative...

[–]Jbergur 2 points3 points ago

RES tagged as "Probably a horse lime".

[–]Lemony-Lime 0 points1 point ago

I can confirm this.

[–]easpider 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it.

[–]casualthursday 0 points1 point ago

I wonder what political party a horse lime would represent? Green Party?

[–]vaclavhavelsmustache -1 points0 points ago

Idea: B-

Execution: F

[–]TriggaFinger 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else find these mask fucking terrifying?

[–]Reachforthesky2012 0 points1 point ago

whore slime?

[–]bhawke01 -1 points0 points ago

Looks more like Sarah Jessica Parker in a lime.

[–]Blood_havok -1 points0 points ago

Can someone tell ne where does eveyone get a horse mask!!!!

[–]TUH_Midknight 1 point2 points ago

Sure it isn't a metapod horse?

[–]Uluvmylean 0 points1 point ago

Horse lemon here. Fuck you horse lime.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 0 points1 point ago

When life gives you lemons, don't feed them to a Lime Horse. They go fucking crazy.

[–]jontss -1 points0 points ago

I went to highschool with OP, worked with him, and he's on my Facebook.

I feel special.

He probably knows who this is. Maybe not though.

[–]DEM_DRY_BONES 0 points1 point ago

Clearly a Teenage Mutant Ninja Horse

[–]hosinfefer 0 points1 point ago

So if this is you at work.. ..Is this you after work?

[–]General_Handsfree 0 points1 point ago

Horse masks everywhere now

[–]RayneyDaye 0 points1 point ago

As a horse-lime I can confirm this.

... or can I?

[–]pistonpants 1 point2 points ago

Horse lime is it anyway?

[–]HellaYoloSwag -2 points-1 points ago

Oh yea?! Well...My Swag has dress up #Yolo Swag me out

[–]MrDressUphasSwag[S] 1 point2 points ago

I knew this day would come

[–]mfkndelightful -2 points-1 points ago

Shit nigger

[–]Lemony-Lime 0 points1 point ago

I can confirm this.

[–]HorseLime -1 points0 points ago

I know, right? Anonymity rocks!

[–]sadsencha -1 points0 points ago

horse lime... is actually WHORE SLIME. mind. blown. away.

[–]HORSE_COCK_JUGGLER 0 points1 point ago

[–]MrDressUphasSwag[S] 4 points5 points ago

I refuse to click on your link after looking at your username.

[–]afcagroo -3 points-2 points ago

Whore slime is the worst kind.

[–]Youcanbeasuperhero2 -3 points-2 points ago

Cool, you saw the Banana horse and decided you were funny and original.

[–]ChronicMasterBaker 0 points1 point ago

Is he a lime horse or a horse lime?

[–]tacoheroX 0 points1 point ago

What about the monkey lemons?

[–]Teddyknockout 0 points1 point ago

OMG we have the same docking port

[–]Mygenerationsucks 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure that's a turtle costume guys

[–]ItalianRapscallion 0 points1 point ago

Goddammit I shouldn't be looking at this shit in class ='}

[–]the_old_in_out -2 points-1 points ago

The horse mask fad needs to stop.

[–]WrightJustice 0 points1 point ago

Silly Metapod got the Ponyta costume wrong.

[–]ThomasLee1311 -4 points-3 points ago

wow a green banana horse suit! never seen that before!

[–]MLBfreek35 -4 points-3 points ago

Unless you straight up say that you're Sarah Jessica Parker

[–]Jafrus34 0 points1 point ago

Are you saying there are more of you out there?

[–]TheJohnRocker 2 points3 points ago

Horsehead here, I can confirm.

[–]HarveyMcGhee -4 points-3 points ago

This post is the dumbest piece of shit/cancer have ever seen in my life.