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top 200 commentsshow all 312

[–]imgonnacallyouretard 87 points88 points ago

Did you carry the picture around with you all night, saying, hey guys look at this picture first and then look at me, and then remember on the internet, Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly and looks like a horse.

[–]FuzzyHappyBunnies -2 points-1 points ago

Such an edgy joke! Welcome to 1998.

[–]RahadJackson 154 points155 points ago

Is any facet of your personality original?

[–]LITERALLYbornhuetter 15 points16 points ago

No

[–]Squishumz 3 points4 points ago

[–]ColoradoAmendment64 387 points388 points ago

DAE le Sarah Jessica Parker?

But seriously, I don't understand how everyone in the world has rubber horse heads except me.

[–]MainRaf 145 points146 points ago

You didn't get a rubber horse head at birth?

[–]cunt_stamp 62 points63 points ago

Seriously, OP, contact the local registrar's office in the city that you were born in.

[–]MrVandalous 34 points35 points ago

Mine was in my inventory after my mom created my account for me.

[–]joeknowswhoiam 44 points45 points ago

I bet he doesn't even know how the three seashells work.

[–]davesfakeaccount -5 points-4 points ago

That comment is much less funny after watching the director's commentary and learning how the three seashells actually work.

[–]Headcap 7 points8 points ago

wait wat?

EXPLAIN

[–]n3wby 3 points4 points ago

2 to pinch/grab, 1 to scrape

[–]KamenRiderJ 1 point2 points ago

EEEEWWWW

[–]HonoraryMancunian 0 points1 point ago

Are you fucking kidding me? The early 90s sci-fi future is dumb.

[–]n3wby 1 point2 points ago

I'm not shitting you :)

[–]davesfakeaccount 1 point2 points ago

See? It was so much better when it was a mystery.

[–]mxxz 0 points1 point ago

Nope, just a rubber horse dick.

[–]tkagotquants 3 points4 points ago

That's what I honestly thought, so I ordered one a week ago. Packages to Russia take ages, so it will be long before I can contribute to the database of horse heads.

[–]BluntHound 11 points12 points ago

A horse is a horse of course of course

[–]Acid_Dolphin_Lover 3 points4 points ago

And nobody talks to a horse, of course.

[–]Mollysaurus 4 points5 points ago

♫ ♬ Unless that horse was on TV and is married to Matthew Broderick! ♪ ♫

[–]Acid_Dolphin_Lover 10 points11 points ago

You hear that? That's the sound of nobody being your friend.

[–]Mollysaurus 6 points7 points ago

But it just sounds like it does all the time... OH. Oh, I see.

[–]mrbassman465 2 points3 points ago

And no one can talk to a horse of course

[–]dDpNh 7 points8 points ago

[–]Cynikal818 11 points12 points ago

[–]Blamemeta 0 points1 point ago

I know rule 34 is never broken, but damn!

[–]Grlmm 1 point2 points ago

[–]sandy_balls 5 points6 points ago

I got one in 2007. I'm now too ashamed to put it on display. Now I'm afraid of being called a hipster.

[–]Neodymium-60 2 points3 points ago

I was reading thispost in class. The professor then just called on a dude wearing a horse head mask. In my class.

What the fuck.

[–]que_chevere 1 point2 points ago

Bravery Level: SO.

[–]factoid_ 1 point2 points ago

They aren't that expensive. This one is $33 and is amazon prime eligible. There's a cheaper one for $19 too that looks basically the same.

http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12027-Horse-Head-Mask/dp/B003G4IM4S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351699186&sr=8-1&keywords=horse+mask

[–]VelcroKing 1 point2 points ago

You get one for free on your first cake day, if you have a verified account.

[–]Mollysaurus 2 points3 points ago

Only if you have gold!

[–]reagan2016 0 points1 point ago

You didn't receive your rubber horse head when you signed up for Reddit? Contact support about it and they'll send one out right away.

[–]UnnecessaryPhilology 1 point2 points ago

Giddyupvote.

[–]dirice87 111 points112 points ago

It was funny the first time back in 2000, but now its just being really cruel...I can't imagine what seeing this shit 24/7 must feel like for her

[–]mama_llama 45 points46 points ago

Reddit is against bullying... yet they bully people every day.

[–]thb789890 59 points60 points ago

Pretty sure she has more interesting stuff to do than browsing r/funny, so she should be fine. Doesn't make the joke less mean or more funny tho.

[–]smpx 4 points5 points ago

"Sarah! Did you see what they were saying on reddit?"

"What the fuck is a reddit?"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Honey_Otter 33 points34 points ago

I really hate this attitude on reddit. Its not okay to just attack someone with insults all the time just because they're rich.

[–]kevinpatrickdoyle 191 points192 points ago

Now what exactly has Sarah Jessica Parker done to deserve this?

[–]neckbeard_paragon 12 points13 points ago

Wonder how the guy that's pictured in that captioned image feels about this. I'm guessing he doesn't care much about his looks, but still...

[–]Grafeno 6 points7 points ago

I'd say 60% of it is the ponytail.

[–]Vsx 1 point2 points ago

I'm sure he fucking LOVES IT.

[–]JonathanQPrenderghas 1 point2 points ago

If that guys gets rid of his overweight, gets treament for acne and gets a haircut, he'd look smashing.

[–]respectmahauthoritah 4 points5 points ago

"Search queries for “butthurt dweller” saw a huge spike in February of 2011, and the search traffic is shown to be almost exclusively from Spain." The fuck was Spain doing?

[–]timx13 153 points154 points ago

Seriously. Hackiest and most overused joke ever.

[–]que_chevere 42 points43 points ago

Especially accompanied by the title 'Nailed it!' Fuck OP.

[–]newBreed 83 points84 points ago

Oh you know, she's famous and doesn't look like other famous people and hasn't had surgery to alter her appearance to look more like some unattainable version of beauty that a bunch of ugly people place on her. So, let's make fun of her in this post and then rage against cyber bullying in the next post.

[–]lojinks 5 points6 points ago

I agree. But, she actually has had surgery. She had the mole on her chin removed. Does that count as surgery?

[–]minerdeity 27 points28 points ago

Those come of for non-cosmetic reasons all the time.

[–]neckbeard_paragon 7 points8 points ago

Dunno. I think she's beautiful in that picture. Did anyone else even see her in Hocus Pocus? I had the hugest crush on her when I was a kid.

[–]mongooseman86 16 points17 points ago

Saw her in Hocus Pocus the other day and she was pretty hot. I don't get the horse face thing.

[–]snickles19 0 points1 point ago

I honestly dont see her as hot in Hocus Pocus.

[–]praisebetomoomon 0 points1 point ago

Nah, but she is in First Wives Club.

[–]snickles19 2 points3 points ago

shes not that bad.

shes just an older woman.

you all just make her look like this

[–]praisebetomoomon 0 points1 point ago

Fuck that, I'm a gay guy that LOVES her. I still think she looks hot in First Wives Club.

[–]2ndStreetBlackout 40 points41 points ago

nothing, but when you have a bunch of geeks who hang on the internet all day (many of whom are, im guessing, much less attractive than she), i guess they will fixate on some meme, that's neither that true nor funny, just to make themselves feel better for a split second.

let's just call it shadenfreude.

[–]Jagjamin 11 points12 points ago

Let's not call it schadenfraude.

[–]2ndStreetBlackout 0 points1 point ago

you can call it whatever you like.

[–]Neukoelln 18 points19 points ago

Schadenfreude does not apply here. I'm sorry.

[–]2ndStreetBlackout -1 points0 points ago

your opinion!

[–]astazangasta 11 points12 points ago

Err, no, schadenfreude is what you're feeling right now: pleasure at how miserable other people are. What they're experiencing is called projection: imputing their failings to someone else so they can cope.

[–]Grafeno 3 points4 points ago

Err, no, schadenfreude is what you're feeling right now: pleasure at how miserable other people are.

Still not quite it. Schadenfreude is pleasure at how miserable other people feel, not are.

Maybe you meant that, but for me it's two different things and I'd argue that schadenfreude does not really apply to 2ndStreetBlackout.

[–]astazangasta 0 points1 point ago

Ah, commence fascinating but useless debate over whether there is a difference between feeling miserable and being miserable. I'd say misery is an emotional state, therefore one cannot be miserable without feeling miserable.

[–]2ndStreetBlackout 0 points1 point ago

i don't take pleasure in it. but thanks for the assumption.

[–]gijyun 0 points1 point ago

At one time I tried to make a case to cease the horse jokes but it didn't go very far.

[–]the_nil 1 point2 points ago

Even I am starting to feel bad for laughing and I am an utter prick.

[–]waahht 203 points204 points ago

You nailed that gem for le sure

[–]ajkkjjk52 103 points104 points ago

DAE bravery?

[–]waahht -4 points-3 points ago

I dont get it

[–]SANDEMAN 25 points26 points ago

So.

[–]MrSilkyJohnson 21 points22 points ago

Brave.

[–]oakdog8 18 points19 points ago

^ This

[–]Boomanchu 11 points12 points ago

^ This

Came here to say

[–]Nubthesamurai 19 points20 points ago

Ctrl + F "This"

WAS NOT DISAPPOINT!

[–]joejeo11 4 points5 points ago

Ctrl + F "Ctrl + F 'This' WAS NOT DISAPPOINT!"

WAS NOT DISAPPOINT!

[–]ejbraceface 25 points26 points ago

ctrl + f "gem"

WAS NOT DISAPPOINT

[–]fancywaresandsuch 11 points12 points ago

Ctrl + f "ctrl + f "gem" WAS NOT DISAPPOINT

[–]darkmuch 10 points11 points ago

explodinghead.gif

[–]SnarkyMcSnarkinson 5 points6 points ago

Ctrl + F "sappo"

...was confused.

[–]que_chevere 6 points7 points ago

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give. You sir are a gent[le]man and a scholar.

[–]PsychoKuros 55 points56 points ago

You sure le nailed it with this le golden gem of a picture of another SJP horse face le joke.

[–]still_had_sex 146 points147 points ago

Now let's compare your real face with Sarah Jessica Parker's.

[–]crazylegscowpuss 31 points32 points ago

How the hell is this getting upvotes?

[–]eyecite 71 points72 points ago

OMG HAHA OP YOU ARE CRAZY YES SIR YOU DID NAIL IT LMAO UPBOAT!!1

REDDIT CAN WE MEME THIS PLZ?? LET'S MEME IT!!!!!

[–]MichiganMan12 19 points20 points ago

Horse face level: Sarah Jessica Parker xD

[–]Xphex 21 points22 points ago

herp derpin on the internets

see this gem

Meme it we shall good sir :) [8]

[–]Dave_the_Adventurer 7 points8 points ago

That good sir is a scholar, too. Don't forget.

[–]ifinallyreallyreddit 5 points6 points ago

A scholar and a g[ent][le][m]an.

[–]cdahlkvist 25 points26 points ago

Apparently I am the only one that thinks SJP is absolutely beautiful.

[–]flufflesUSA 15 points16 points ago

I think she's gorgeous

[–]mistermatt157 10 points11 points ago

She's gorgeous. This was funny in "Ed Wood", but every subsequent gag has been boring. Which is why so many people love it. (Empty minds abound.)

[–]bag-o-tricks 4 points5 points ago

I remember seeing her in that harbor cop movie with Bruce Willis and ogling the whole time. I think she's cute.

[–]neckbeard_paragon 1 point2 points ago

Hocus Pocus gave child-me confusing dreams.

[–]tdogg650 82 points83 points ago

Whoah, I didn't even realize until now that Sarah Jessica Parker has such a horse-face! You certainly nailed that one, good job!!

[–]lethargicwalrus 27 points28 points ago

Reddit loves to beat a dead horse.

[–]Renmauzuo 20 points21 points ago

This comment is not directed at lethargicwalrus, it is instead directed at the person who is about to reply and post:

beat a dead Sarah Jessica Parker

FTFY

Save yourself the trouble. The same joke is already posted in every thread.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 3 points4 points ago

Let's post that horse-beating gif for thousandth time.

[–]snipsnip 33 points34 points ago

This shit ain't funny.

[–]greggersraymer 241 points242 points ago

Great, another SJP horse-face joke. Been looking forward to that since the last one, about 30 seconds ago.

[–]oakback 27 points28 points ago

She looked good in Hocus Pocus. Just throwing that out there.

[–]SemiSeriousSam 7 points8 points ago

And LA Story with Steve Martin!

[–]oananbr 102 points103 points ago

Did she do something to deserve the hate? Did she like... beat someone up? Or what?

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 41 points42 points ago

Just that this joke is played out as fuck.

[–]vph 2 points3 points ago

She is actually a decent gal. Unfortunately for her, because of Seth Marfalane, the joke was stuck with her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEc-I-Zw_EA&feature=related

[–]fireflyish 10 points11 points ago

It's a dumb joke, she doesn't really look like a horse and never really did and people are dumb for hopping on LE BANDWAGON.

Having said that, she has godfuckingawful fashion sense, I'm sorry but her outfits in real life and in films just make me want to throw a damn shoe at her head. What the hell is she wearing in this picture? Is she supposed to be a ballerina? A white frumpy dress with (what looks like) black heels? AND add a high-set belt? What the fuck man. I'm not normally critical of what people wear but I've always noticed that Sarah jessica Parker does this sort of "Sex and the City Chiq" thing and it just looks like total shit.

[–]SkySilver 4 points5 points ago

I didn't even realized that it is Sarah Jessica Parker on the left. I thought it's just a random girl which already confused me the first time.

[–]newshinything 40 points41 points ago

Honestly I used to think she wasn't that pretty either, but then I saw a few episode of Sex In the City and saw her personality shine.. she's actually beautiful.. her eyes sparkle when she speaks.. I know it's acting but the ability is definitely rooted in her personality.

[–]LITERALLYbornhuetter 20 points21 points ago

Le gem level: nailed it!!!1!!!1111!!2'!1!!11

[–]ObamaBinHitler 15 points16 points ago

Fuck your title!

Fuck this joke!

Fuck you!

[–]blueschmoo 22 points23 points ago

I am tired of this joke.

[–]someguy73 9 points10 points ago

Yes, you certainly did nail beating a dead horse into the ground.

In b4 comparing the dead horse to Sarah Jessica Parker. That's a stale, old, and no longer funny joke as well.

[–]fran13r 21 points22 points ago

[–]Vranak 7 points8 points ago

If SJP asked OP out on a date, I am thinking they would accept in a flash then call all his friends to brag. Same with whoever made the image.

[–]normalite 2 points3 points ago

Please explain reddit to me....this gets a ton of votes and everyone hates it.

[–]sulejmankulenovic 0 points1 point ago

I remember reading something about reddit statistics that listed groups of reddit users by size. 1st was lurkers who don't participate in any way, 2nd was users who only vote, 3rd was users who vote and comment, 4th was users who vote, comment, and post.

That might have just been my imagination though, I don't know.

[–]CaptianRipass 0 points1 point ago

I only comment though

[–]sulejmankulenovic 0 points1 point ago

I think that would be in a smaller group.

[–]organicmaddie 3 points4 points ago

I like how people are like we want to see not so perfect girls on Hollywood. Then once someone come along they get made fun of. I honestly think she looks pretty. Way better than me.

[–]landl0rd 5 points6 points ago

[–]CaptianRipass 2 points3 points ago

Does anybody else thing that SJP is actually really pretty in that picture? The actually picture, not that unfunny horse joke.

[–]Bikenutt 0 points1 point ago

Her feet are actually much uglier than horses hooves so its not a fair comparison.

[–]PrincessSlaya 0 points1 point ago

I read that as: Neigh-ld it.

[–]Punkwasher 0 points1 point ago

Oh ha, very funny, I can copy a picture, too... wait...

[–]ppezaris 4 points5 points ago

Your breasts are far too high on your chest in comparison.

[–]Vee_Vee 4 points5 points ago

Ah, the horse head - International symbol for attention whores all over the world.

(I get the played out joke, btw.)

[–]sdawsey 3 points4 points ago

SJP looks like a horse? Never heard that one before.

Seriously though, this joke stopped being funny years ago.

[–]scrappydoofan 3 points4 points ago

[–]trusteverybody 3 points4 points ago

I have always found Tori Spelling to be more resembling a horse.

[–]livers 3 points4 points ago

She looks like a gnu

[–]crackyJsquirrel 2 points3 points ago

Her head is so large.

[–]axerge 2 points3 points ago

Why the fuck does everyone on the internet have a horse head mask?

[–]stoltesawa 0 points1 point ago

Looks so good, didn't even laugh.

[–]marvin_sirius 0 points1 point ago

Great movie though.

[–]mboro19 0 points1 point ago

I would certainly nail it. Downvote if you want. I would dry hump her leg for hours.

[–]ThatFuckingMovieGuy 0 points1 point ago

She may have a horse head, but I'd still fuck her.

[–]totems 0 points1 point ago

I still can't see why her face look like a horseface. I think you guys got supereyes...

I also think the only one, recognising that costume is people who browse Reddit.

[–]strawnotrazz -1 points0 points ago

I'm disappointed nobody has posted this yet:

www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com

[–]LaundryGuy 1 point2 points ago

Cool title, bro.

[–]Bopshidowywopbop -1 points0 points ago

It's funny, it took me a good 40 seconds to realize that SJP wasn't photoshopped into the second picture.

[–]Alexxmon -1 points0 points ago

This is the most beautiful thing I've seen all day. lol

[–]iggihesh -1 points0 points ago

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give!

[–]jturkish 0 points1 point ago

She doesn't look bad in that pic

[–]cokefizz 0 points1 point ago

yes, yes you did

[–]gh0stmach1ne 0 points1 point ago

In the future, people are going to look back at the pictures from this time period and assume there was a race of horse headed people.

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

you mean there's not?

[–]clinbri 0 points1 point ago

No no no its all wrong. Your boobs need to be saggy and smaller.

[–]hazeyrayy 0 points1 point ago

You really did nailed it OP lel

[–]ObnoxiousSeizures 0 points1 point ago

I've been waiting my whole life for this.

[–]Sightful 0 points1 point ago

Neighled it! FTFY

[–]miaccountname 0 points1 point ago

DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPOROR!

[–]Rueex -1 points0 points ago

Im confused. Nothing changed?

[–]mti87 0 points1 point ago

I too dressed as S.J.P but did not nail it after seeing this picture....

[–]cvillano 1 point2 points ago

ITT

crybabies

[–]HelloKidney 0 points1 point ago

False. The boobs are too perky.

[–]TheKingy1991 0 points1 point ago

Is it wrong that I seriously didn't notice the difference at first?

[–]panxzz 0 points1 point ago

I love how reddit keeps beating this dead Sarah Jessica Parker

[–]myeverymovment 0 points1 point ago

actually, your boobs are perkier. and your legs are better. so's your face.

[–]notsonerdy 0 points1 point ago

good one

[–]kickassunicorn 0 points1 point ago

That is the best Halloween costume I have ever seen.

[–]GreyEarth 0 points1 point ago

I can't tell the difference.

[–]DemInternetz 0 points1 point ago

Legitimately the best thing I've seen on here in awhile...involving horse heads...so...best thing I've seen on here in awhile.

[–]Folkyourfaceoff 0 points1 point ago

I will never get over Sarah Jessica Parker horse face jokes.

[–]Lirak 0 points1 point ago

aside from the fact that sarah jessica parker has a smokin' bod and you're a porker

[–]Rytheran -2 points-1 points ago

So this is what Karma Plague looks like.

[–]newfag_tr0ll -2 points-1 points ago

Your only vote is.... a downvote from yourself?

[–]Jester14 0 points1 point ago

SJP isn't wearing a bra - you are. Fix that pls.

[–]gaelorian -1 points0 points ago

"I am far too familiar with the internet and general neckbeardery to find this amusing, madam. Be gone, philistine, and take your stale internet humor with you!" - This thread, 10/31/12

[–]crossower 1 point2 points ago

It would need to be funny to be called humor.

[–]Uranus_Hz 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one around here who doesn't think SJP looks like a horse?

[–]ctrlaltrockdel 1 point2 points ago

I don't get why people say she looks like a horse, I don't see it

[–]x52495 -1 points0 points ago

If only there was a way for me to convert all of my karma into downvotes for you.

[–]serosis -2 points-1 points ago

Inexplicably the girl in the costume looks way more attractive. Probably because she really is not a horse...

[–]ShittyTitleAlert 0 points1 point ago

WOOP WOOP WOOP!

DING DING!

AAAAUUUUGA!

BEEPBEEPBEEEEP!

[–]steelers7939 -1 points0 points ago

I just accidentally all the oxygen in my lungs.

[–]Dear_Occupant 1 point2 points ago

If SRS was worth a damn, this would be the kind of thing they went after. There is no sane reason to attack Sarah Jessica Parker over her looks. It's pointless and mean.