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1501
1502

Girlfriend's dad owns this little douche canoe [X-post r/facepalm] (imgur.com)

submitted ago by fakemath

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[–]Dornath 243 points244 points ago

....I thought this would be a picture of a little douchey canoe...

Not really disappointed but I feel misled.

[–]JesseCuster40 66 points67 points ago

I was really curious what a douche canoe would look like.

[–]Dornath 34 points35 points ago

Well tanned, with Ed Hardy art on the sides.

[–]HiImTed 0 points1 point ago

The guy from Pumpkinhead?

[–]Sobertese 0 points1 point ago

Possibly also "speed flames" and loud club music and obnoxiously deep bass.

I was disappointed this turned out to be a Facebook post. Really wanted to see this thing.

[–]alienbringer 1 point2 points ago

A Canoe in the shape of a douche... Duh. Didnt you know that the shape of a douche cuts through the water nicely. The tip is slender to help force the water away around the rounded main body. It is quite efficient. And pleasant smelling.

[–]CANCER_PUNCH 2 points3 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofq_nl366VM

Not to be confused with freestyle kayaking, which is the shit.

[–]silver_pear 1 point2 points ago

You, sir, deserve every upvote available.

Those twist, those turns. The way he wistfully glides to-and-fro. This man is Poseidon in his old age.

[–]TheForceiswithus 1 point2 points ago

It looks remarkably like a vagina.

[–]fakemath[S] 17 points18 points ago

Apologies for the Canadian slang. Just rolls off the tongue where I'm from!

[–]Fallschirmjager 30 points31 points ago

The word "slag" and the term "best pleased with" made me think you were British.

[–]Daiephir 4 points5 points ago

Well, to be honest, we Canadians are really just a bunch of slightly rebellious colonist from the British Empire, technically, we're still British.

[–]CormacOney 2 points3 points ago

Sorry.

[–]wonderbrian 6 points7 points ago

in dutch 'cream' is 'slagroom'

[–]Ftumsh 8 points9 points ago

In Danish and Swedish, the last few days of a sale are called 'slutspurt'.

[–]wonderbrian 1 point2 points ago

that was poetry.

[–]Ev00 0 points1 point ago

The way he speaks is misleading. His final insult was "that status did you no good" that's like... Not even a mocking statement. He is just being agreeable. And if someone called me a douche canoe I would just be utterly lost.

[–]Ftumsh 1 point2 points ago

Can I get some slagroom in your slutspurt?

[–]wonderbrian 2 points3 points ago

dutch is a great language.

[–]Ent_angled 1 point2 points ago

I read slag and wondered why there was welding involved

[–]venkiro 0 points1 point ago

That also confused me almost as much as the lack of canoe.

[–]Dornath 4 points5 points ago

Where in Canada? I'm in Ottawa and I've never heard this before.

[–]Kinomi 5 points6 points ago

Toronto here, I had no idea those phrases existed

[–]cactuar44 2 points3 points ago

Vancouver here, and me either.

[–]Kinomi 1 point2 points ago

Maybe he's an East coaster?

[–]doublestep 1 point2 points ago

Pure bred east coaster, makes no sense here either.

[–]Corazon-Ray 1 point2 points ago

Alberta somewhere. I lived in Slave Lake for a few years and it's popular there though I have no idea if it came from the south or not.

[–]smellthyscrote 1 point2 points ago

I've lived in BC, Ontario and Quebec over the past 30 years, and not once have I heard this term.

That said, I like it.

[–]cactuar44 0 points1 point ago

Perhaps a new trend is in the works?

[–]charrzard -1 points0 points ago

Kitchener-Waterloo here, I say it all the time

[–]accharbs 1 point2 points ago

When I was in Guelph that was the only place I'd ever heard this stated.

[–]Vyxxerooni 3 points4 points ago

Kitchener-Waterloo and frequenter of Guelph here, never heard it said in my life.

[–]Jafarah 1 point2 points ago

I'm in North BC and me and my friends use this quite often.

[–]bathroomstalin 0 points1 point ago

It's an upprovince expression.

[–]fakemath[S] -1 points0 points ago

Alberta baby.

[–]MrAlexChappell 4 points5 points ago

What does "fraped" mean?

[–]jacoblc12 4 points5 points ago

facebook raped. Basically when you leave your account logged in and someone posts a joke status

[–]organix85 4 points5 points ago

So some girl's dad knows this term and I don't... I'm sure if it's a bad thing that I don't or it's a bad thing that he does.

[–]neurone214 2 points3 points ago

Really?? I assumed it was a typo for framed, which admittedly makes less sense.

[–]pinkpinballmagic 0 points1 point ago

I thought it was a typo for "raped"

[–]danoll 56 points57 points ago

Why would anyone post this about their girlfriend on Facebook? What a scumbag.

[–]idontremembermyuname 17 points18 points ago

Scumbag was originally a slang for condom.

[–]VaricoseVagina 4 points5 points ago

TIL

[–]Surfacetovolume 1 point2 points ago

I was just thinking I'm 39 and I'd be pissed if my boyfriend posted this, even if my mom weren't on Facebook. Privacy!

[–]smellthyscrote 23 points24 points ago

It still amazes me how stupid some people are with what they post on social media sites.

[–]Geekotronic 12 points13 points ago

If you're amazed by the fact that teenager's desire to impress their friends often outstrips their ability to exercise common sense, forethought and evaluate consequences then you haven't really being paying much attention to teenagers for the last, oh, I don't know, forever years.

[–]FuzzyNutters 0 points1 point ago

Our business had two break in attempts (one mission impossible style through the roof). I promote the business using social media. By mindful of what you post...

[–]TigerWylde 25 points26 points ago

Damn it, I was expecting a small shitty water going vessel. I demand a canoe.

[–]JontanD 22 points23 points ago

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h2z-xlpiRkM/SlPALUj4-aI/AAAAAAAABYc/rtShH6eMP5I/s400/Broken+canoe.JPG

[–]TigerWylde 2 points3 points ago

That'll do. Thank you pizza day man.

[–]JontanD 3 points4 points ago

You're the first person to acknowledge my pizza day :'D

[–]Shortcake_amy 8 points9 points ago

Am I really the only person who set up a seperate fb account for my family?

[–]Wisdom_from_the_Ages 3 points4 points ago

If you post stuff like that about your girlfriend on your private account, you're still running a super high chance of getting dumped.

[–]souldonkey 4 points5 points ago

Am I really the only one that doesn't post shit so stupid that I wouldn't want my family to see it on Facebook?

[–]Shortcake_amy 0 points1 point ago

It's not the stuff i post, but the stuff my friends post and then tag me in!

[–]okgum 2 points3 points ago

You could always block certain people from seeing your stuff.

[–]wickedang3l 10 points11 points ago

Facebook is well known for its ability to fuck up your security settings without notice. Rely on their features at your peril.

[–]Shortcake_amy 0 points1 point ago

My thoughts exactly, i'd need to constantly monitor the settings and go back to the beginning of time to hide embarrassing stuff every time they changed them. For a lazy cow like me this is too much effort!

[–]Throwaway281281 1 point2 points ago

I have the settings set so that my family can see as little about me as possible, but as a general rule I don't post things like this, because I'm not a complete fucktard

[–]bitchkat 0 points1 point ago

I just have a personal policy against befriending family on facebook.

[–]Sciar 0 points1 point ago

I only put people on there that I don't care what they see.

I don't understand making incriminating posts on Facebook.

[–]Slackyjr 0 points1 point ago

Am i the only one who doesn't care what my parents see about my life?

[–]zeppelinfromled 1 point2 points ago

I just don't post shit on facebook that I don't want certain people to see. There's really just no need.

[–]CoreyWillis 15 points16 points ago

He's probably such a douche canoe because his parents named him Ledge! Ledge isn't even a name!

[–]HughMility 15 points16 points ago

I thought it was short for legendary.

[–]pinkpinballmagic 4 points5 points ago

Me too. Damn Canadian slang.

[–]DrDWayneLove 1 point2 points ago

Well that's fine then.

[–]Asdar 11 points12 points ago

I don't know why, but adding the word canoe to anything makes it hilarious to me. Space canoe, douche canoe. It's awesome.

[–]yetkwai 1 point2 points ago

Awesome canoe.

[–]Jredrum 1 point2 points ago

canoe canoe

[–]yetkwai 0 points1 point ago

redundant canoe canoe.

[–]Throwaway281281 -1 points0 points ago

Rape canoe?

[–]me_and_batman 6 points7 points ago

What the fuck is with your title?

[–]CRAZYNICEdubs 5 points6 points ago

What does it mean to be "Fraped"? Also, "Ain't gonna wash"?

[–]zomofo 19 points20 points ago

'Facebook raped'. ie. hacked.

You won't get away with it.

[–]CRAZYNICEdubs 6 points7 points ago

Thank you for the clarification! _^

[–]zomofo 2 points3 points ago

no problem!

[–]onduty 2 points3 points ago

thanks, that was really helpful, i spent a few minutes re-reading the image trying to figure it out.

[–]Semajal 3 points4 points ago

No. Not hacked. Hacked implies some sort of breaking in. Frape is when you leave yourself logged in or something, or someone picks up your phone and updates things.

[–]Mac_Anu 2 points3 points ago

Common usage is common usage. He's not saying he'd say it. But he recognizes that others do.

[–]zomofo 0 points1 point ago

Yes, but that is what people call it, wrong or not.

[–]KidDeath10k 0 points1 point ago

Because I'll backtrace it!

[–]ScreamingGordita 1 point2 points ago

How does this kids dad know what fraped means and I don't.

[–]zomofo 0 points1 point ago

I think it's a UK thing...

[–]testdex -3 points-2 points ago

Thinking that means this is fake. Few over 20 uses the "word" and no one who can write coherent sentences does.

[–]roz77 0 points1 point ago

He wasn't really making her out to be a slag, he was just telling the truth.

[–]letsgocrazy 21 points22 points ago

I genuinely think that the ability to differentiate "telling the truth" and "broadcasting personal details or opinions" should be considered a major stage in psychological development.

One which you have clearly not reached yet.

[–]erode 2 points3 points ago

I just want the "awkward moment" shit to stop. All memes please die.

[–]TheBigHairy 2 points3 points ago

memes

wat r u doin

memes

stahp

[–]mesablue -2 points-1 points ago

Especially one as old and fake as this.

[–]scottycorbin -1 points0 points ago

Just don't go looking for douche canoe the website

[–]musa_angelica 0 points1 point ago

I think he broke up with his girlfriend by facebook post...

[–]ehhhwutsupdoc -1 points0 points ago

The way the dad is talking reminds me of a sassy black woman.

[–]bjt23 0 points1 point ago

Seriously it's like no one knows how to use privacy settings...

[–]cocktastic_voyage 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one around here that doesn't add anybodies parents, or people I work with on Facebook?!

[–]Bravetoasterr 1 point2 points ago

I was sorta hoping for a funny picture of a canoe. As in, the dad actually owns a canoe.

[–]blofeldd 1 point2 points ago

Such a dick.

[–]serenaisblank 0 points1 point ago

He should have said "zucked" then they wouldn't know what he was talking about.

[–]Lefty07 -1 points0 points ago

am i the only one who doesn't use facebook?

[–]Torlen 0 points1 point ago

You're in the minority. It's not as bad as you can make it. Just don't put anything there you don't want people to see. It's really not that hard.

[–]Lefty07 0 points1 point ago

oh i know, i log into mine a few times a year :D

[–]mistakes_were_made 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes you just have to SWALLOW your embarrassment and move on.

[–]potentialfriend 0 points1 point ago

What country is this slang common in? I'm best pleased by some of it. Other parts don't scrub my dandelion.

[–]waterpoolo 0 points1 point ago

its statuses like these that are meant to be put on reddit and not FB

[–]TheBredditor 0 points1 point ago

Fucking idiot.

[–]FrownSyndrome -1 points0 points ago

Bullshit.

[–]Johnny_Clasher 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to send a Friend request to his ex-girlfriend..!

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 0 points1 point ago

Is there not a "make comments visible to friends only" option to prevent this?

[–]tagrav 0 points1 point ago

this guy is a scumbag for saying that in the first place.

Immaturity at its finest

[–]Jaws666 0 points1 point ago

If I was her dad I would slap her. Also never kiss her ever again.

[–]Sibling_soup 0 points1 point ago

Grey is an ass

[–]edslerson -2 points-1 points ago

Reason #74 why I don't have Facebook. Fuck Facebook right in it's stupid social network asshole.

[–]DrDWayneLove 7 points8 points ago

It's useful for organising things amongst friends.

[–]Manex87 5 points6 points ago

Shhh, let him be "that guy" amongst his friends.

[–]Problem_Santa 7 points8 points ago

So you know that you will post retarded stuff like this if you are getting facebook? I guess I admire your knowledge about yourself.

[–]letsgocrazy 8 points9 points ago

Tell us your opinions on the dangers of the automobile and electricity too please!

[–]Silvercumulus 2 points3 points ago

It's called responsibility and if you don't trust yourself to think before acting, then maybe you shouldn't have a facebook after all.

[–]edslerson -4 points-3 points ago

I was kidding... I don't have a Facebook for one reason and that's because I don't give a shit about a bunch of stupid posts and what people are doing at any given time of the day. Holy shit you people are stupid as fuck, and No I wouldn't post things like this

[–]ScreamingGordita 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit you're edgy.

[–]Geekotronic 3 points4 points ago

You don't have Facebook because some random guy in Canada is an idiot? Christ, that seems like a very specific reason. Although, I guess you do have seventy-fucking-four of them so this ought to be one.

[–]Throwaway281281 2 points3 points ago

... Have at LEAST seventy fucking four of them....

FTFY

[–]the_antipop -1 points0 points ago

Oh man, that is fucking GOLDEN!!!

[–]Shumuu 1 point2 points ago

wow, lets just repost this just a few hours after it hit frontpage

[–]glasseyed86 2 points3 points ago

Fake

[–]SchoolyardCheeze 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for the use of "douche canoe."

[–]vajkappsmir 5 points6 points ago

I was confused when I opened the link and it wasn't a canoe :/

[–]bluecowry -4 points-3 points ago

another reason to never get a facebook account.

[–]d4ni3lg -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, they're way too mainstream.

[–]ryanbmf -4 points-3 points ago

In the end Dad got owned.

[–]nduval 0 points1 point ago

I disagree. People have sex. Everyone's kids will grow up and have sex. Moronic guys like to pretend they have done something awesome by insulting or belittling the girl they had sex with, or the acts themselves, unaware that the rest of the world sees them as inconsiderate assholes. The dad didn't get owned in any way that I can see. He just helped his daughter spot and dump an asshole that does not know how to handle private and intimate relationship matters.

[–]eaturliver -3 points-2 points ago

douche.....canoe?

[–]userhunter -3 points-2 points ago

Doesn't matter, had FB likes

[–]depotman 1 point2 points ago

But it's not karma so it doesn't matter.

[–]userhunter 0 points1 point ago

What if I told you, reddit alien created everything on the world, even facebook likes?

[–]idkwatdo -3 points-2 points ago

I've definitely heard douchecanoe before. It is, indeed, funny.

[–]PrettyTerry -1 points0 points ago

Why would you be friends with your girlfriend's parents?

[–]chazchaz101 -3 points-2 points ago

Who the hell friends their girlfriend's parents?

[–]chefandfoodcolumnist 2 points3 points ago

People who are in normal, healthy relationships.

Not children.

[–]chazchaz101 1 point2 points ago

Well, I guess that should have been who the hell friends their girlfriend's parents and forgets about it.

[–]chefandfoodcolumnist 0 points1 point ago

Agreed. If true, it was very dumb behavior.

[–]namelesswonder -4 points-3 points ago

Making a public apology would be difficult. Asshat dad doesn't want to confront that his daughter cumswapped her old man.

[–]yetkwai 4 points5 points ago

Making a public apology would be difficult.

If only there existed a "social" website which would allow your friends to read an apology.

Unfortunately we only have facebook. And it's apparently too difficult to edit the status to say something like "I'm sorry for what I just said here. I was wrong to do that."

Sooooo difficult.

That dad is a real asshat for asking him to do this.

[–]namelesswonder 0 points1 point ago

"A public apology in front of the 57 people". That isn't a request for an apology on facebook.

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