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Week 8

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top 200 commentsshow all 374

[–]Patriotslabradorrescuer 444 points445 points ago

TIL Peyton has always looked like a middle aged man

[–]Vikingsshmishmortion 155 points156 points ago

He and Eli are both age locked.

[–]Buccaneersnewtothelyte 74 points75 points ago

You sure about that? Eli circa 2004 vs Eli 2012

[–]49ershuevos 181 points182 points ago

On an agelessness scale of Lindsey Lohan to Patrick Stewart, I'd say he's closer to Patrick Stewart. Or to be more specific, one Keanu Standard Agelessness Unit, within a generally accepted margin of error.

[–]49erss0tcrates 119 points120 points ago

Ah the old Lohan-Stewart scale, a very reliable system. I agree.

[–]Seahawksrakimallah 70 points71 points ago

I feel so bad for her. SHE'S 26.

[–]Eaglesjaycrew 134 points135 points ago

That cocaine didn't do itself.

[–]BroncosAvoidingIowa 32 points33 points ago

YOU DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT DID?!

[–]FalconsInspector-Gadget 22 points23 points ago

Cocaine's a hell of a drug

[–]Falcons22mario 23 points24 points ago

She used to be beautiful. :(

[–]ColtsiUsedtoHadHerpes 1 point2 points ago

That was just a really unflattering moment. She still ain't bad at all. Machete wasn't made that long ago. NSFW

[–]Cowboysdustbunny88 10 points11 points ago

I'm 24 and look 16. That's why you only stick with the weed, aka, the plant of youth.

[–]SeahawksLastRedCoat 35 points36 points ago

Miracle wonder drug makes man look 8 years younger!

Doctors hate him!

[–]RavensILoveCannabis 2 points3 points ago

Its a rare thing for me to agree with a Cowboy's fan.

[–]Titanshsssssssssssssssssss 10 points11 points ago

You should update the Keanu picture with the old American civil war photo of him from something like 1863.

[–]PanthersCodeshark 2 points3 points ago

What if Keanu, Patrick Stewart, and Peyton Manning are all ageless gods with time traveling abilities, but Keanu is just the only one who can't cover his tracks properly?

[–]Buccaneersnewtothelyte 187 points188 points ago

He looks like he just got out of hs

[–]Steelersaxel404 372 points373 points ago

did you just reply to your own comment

[–]Redskinsbaibars 66 points67 points ago

the best questions are the ones with no capitalization or punctuation

[–]PatriotsDabbleSauce 24 points25 points ago

I find them humorous when used properly

[–]Redskinsbaibars 22 points23 points ago

Me too. That's why that "are you a dog" comment one time was so funny.

[–]RavensVilvos 16 points17 points ago

[–]Ravensthepulloutmethod 8 points9 points ago

Nice, I somehow missed this when it happened.

[–]Steelersaxel404 3 points4 points ago

Well because I knew he did, so it was more like a realization rather than a question. Despite being phrased as one

no period be mad

[–]FalconsLordOfTheSounds 325 points326 points ago

Alpha. As. Fuck.

[–]Chargerspenith2211 17 points18 points ago

The 2004 one is confusing me. Doesn't the captain patch have a star filled in for every year they are a captain? If he was drafted in '04 then he should't have one filled in at all, or just one for his initial year as a captain.

[–]ColtsNoNoveltyNeeded 26 points27 points ago

They didn't have stars until somewhat recently (6 years) and it's 1 star a year, then when they run out of stars they change the color of the C.

Years 1-4

5th year

I can't tell any difference between year 5 and 6. Here is Eli with year 5 patch (notice reebok jersey) and here is 6 year (nike jersey)

[–]49erscasos92 27 points28 points ago

TIL

[–]Giantssnoharm 10 points11 points ago

Dat 6 year Manningface.

[–]Coltsoorza 14 points15 points ago

I've always wondered why they didn't do this:

  • First year: white C, 4 white stars.
  • Second year: white C, 1 gold star
  • Years 3-5: white C, up to 4 gold stars.
  • Year 6: gold C, 4 white stars
  • Years 7-10: gold C, up to 4 gold stars

You'd get a full 10 years out of the current badge design this way... and boy would an all gold badge mean something special!

[–]Buccaneersnewtothelyte 5 points6 points ago

You are correct, I don't think they even had the stars back in 2004. I changed to a pic of him at Ole Miss

[–]Steelersaxel404 10 points11 points ago

"NHL one day someone will die"

Its gonna be pretty tough to die if the league is locked out every year

[–]Giantsunsoundmethods 2 points3 points ago

I just noticed the date on that magazine is from March 2004, right before the 04-05 lockout... heavy sigh.

[–]Ravensthepulloutmethod 5 points6 points ago

Eli looks like he's got a serious case of the wandering eye.

[–]SaintsCharlieCharlie 2 points3 points ago

Looks like the same kid just without makeup and proper lighting.

[–]SteelersPiratiko 5 points6 points ago

Also, Matt Ryan.

That guy will always look like he's 19 to me.

[–]Coltsobsessederpina 3 points4 points ago

When Peyton was like 29-30 I remember thinking that!

[–]CowboysTooHighPi 109 points110 points ago

A Sheriff's gotta have rockin' boots.

[–]Coltsb3wizz 43 points44 points ago

The Sheriff pew pew pew

[–]CowboysTooHighPi 2 points3 points ago

...if you like 6'5" 230 lb quarterbacks... laser rocket arm.

[–]CardinalsHobbsMadness 472 points473 points ago

His forehead seems so reasonably sized in this pic. This suggests that it gets bigger as he acquires more knowledge of opposing defensive schemes.

[–]Broncosdwade420 149 points150 points ago

[–]Falcons22mario 84 points85 points ago

[–]Patriotsradiochanges 16 points17 points ago

Oh yes...that crippled Irishman!

[–]CowboysDzungana 13 points14 points ago

imagine if he went to the nfc

[–]Lionsmetatron5369 7 points8 points ago

No, get out.

[–]Eaglesryangravener 89 points90 points ago

He is actually trying to figure out which papa johns restaurants to buy.

[–]Titans48632966054673 286 points287 points ago

It's extremely surreal to know that this picture was taken about 35 feet from where I am sitting right now in Circle Park at UT.

[–]Titanspinpoint13 348 points349 points ago

What's creepy is that I am within 35 feet of your location right now and yet have no idea who you are nor you I.

[–]Titans48632966054673 101 points102 points ago

Are you the guy in the jeans and black jacket sitting near the Torchbearer?

[–]Steelersmanskies 157 points158 points ago

No, that's me.

[–]ColtsDreamOfTheRood 15 points16 points ago

Those are nice Jeans. Are those denizens?

[–]Titanshighfivekiller22 60 points61 points ago

God damn.. I'm within at least 100 yards of you guys...

There are a lot of redditing Titans fans here.

[–]GiantsA_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 118 points119 points ago

Within 100 yards? Hurry, you'll reach them before the Titans could.

[–]TitansAgentVanillaGorilla 39 points40 points ago

Bastard.

[–]Lionsxfortune 6 points7 points ago

Snap. Crackle and pop.

[–]Falcons22mario 8 points9 points ago

Hey guys, I'm like 120 miles west of all of you. (TTU)

[–]Ravenschrawley 216 points217 points ago

What's creepy is that I now know where both of you were and I'm there now. We should meet at Ray's and talk football some time. No Romo.

[–]BroncosAvoidingIowa 66 points67 points ago

You all are such Romos.

[–]PanthersBob_Fucking_Ross 4 points5 points ago

I'll bring my CAMera to the ROMOsexual meetup down by the RIVERS where we will bring the WEEDEN perform dirty SANCHEZes. With any LUCK, my SCHAUB will fit in a MANNING without any HASSELBECK from him. If not, I could always use a good PALMER. Just make sure you don't CUTLER my STAFFORD. PONDER it. Hope there's no BREES so I don't chill down to my SKELTON.

... gordon FREEMAN.

[–]Titans48632966054673 7 points8 points ago

I'm up for that. I'm an IE major and hang at Ray's for hours between classes.

[–]VikingsMegaZambam 41 points42 points ago

Internet Explorer major? Sounds shitty...

[–]Giantsdakboy 5 points6 points ago

They revamped the whole program a couple years ago (it stagnated for a long time) and made it a lot better.

[–]Titanspetedog 58 points59 points ago

I am within an approximately 100 yard radius, so I guess I'm not as cool.

[–]TexansICantSeeIt 29 points30 points ago

And about an hour late.

[–]SeahawksDaddyDanceParty 21 points22 points ago

TIL all Titans fans go to UT.

[–]PatriotsSaveDonkin 40 points41 points ago

meet at the Peyton bench NOW!

[–]Patriotsspundnix32 15 points16 points ago

And send us a photo!

[–]TexansEriden 194 points195 points ago

nowkiss.jpg

[–]Falconsrewster 6 points7 points ago

I was near both of you guys an hour ago.

[–]Patriotsfiction8 4 points5 points ago

You don't know who you are? Don't worry, everybody feels that way in college.

[–]thebloodygrinch 2 points3 points ago

Sitting cozily in the fort. Without pants. It is cold outside. That is all.

[–]BearsMother_of_Three 9 points10 points ago

Go vols

[–]Texansyellowstonedelicious 8 points9 points ago

All out of usernames eh?

[–]Cowboyswesdub 183 points184 points ago

i bet he didn't even take em off when he was plowing undergrads.

[–]PackersByTheNineDivine 154 points155 points ago

Picturing a naked Peyton going to town on a tiny blonde girl while only wearing those boots?

My loins, they are confused.

[–]dornstar18 20 points21 points ago

Lumbergh

[–]Cowboysmexipimpin 5 points6 points ago

Sounds like my old Tuesday nights...

[–]Giantsthatspossible 15 points16 points ago

I don't think he was plowing too many undergrads.

[–]Cowboyswesdub 13 points14 points ago

way to ruin it.

[–]Bearsyoungtuck 10 points11 points ago

Wasn't she an undergrad?

[–]Cowboyssanctii 47 points48 points ago

Those look like ostrich skin boots. Nice.

[–]TexansDCtoATX 17 points18 points ago

Came to say the exact same thing. Well done, fellow Texan.

[–]49erssundowntg 4 points5 points ago

Either ostrich skin, of cowhide embossed to look like ostrich skin.

[–]TexansSinglemalt_28 3 points4 points ago

I have never heard of cowhide embossed to look like ostrich

[–]49erssundowntg 25 points26 points ago

Ostrich skin is more expensive and doesn't have a very good yield, and applying an emboss pattern to cow leather is more consistent and allows you to use cow hides that aren't nice enough for full grain use.

Example

Source: I work in footwear

[–]TexansSinglemalt_28 6 points7 points ago

Thanks for the link and explanation. I'm in Texas and wear boots 75% of the time as do most of my friends. I guess just because I'd never heard of them doesn't mean they don't exist

[–]Cowboysmexipimpin 2 points3 points ago

Had never heard of it either. With the size of my wallet, I've never looked past anything but regular cowhide. I tried on a pair of Lucchese once, then fainted at the price tag.

[–]TexansSinglemalt_28 2 points3 points ago

I have a pair of Larry Mahan full quil boots that look identical to the pair Peyton is wearing in the picture. I get more complements on those boots than anything I wear.

[–]PanthersCHAAAZZZZ 4 points5 points ago

I'm sure Peyton could afford the finest ostrich skin boots, remember who his father is?

[–]49erssundowntg 2 points3 points ago

Very true.

[–]BrownsA_Tasty_Ham_Sandwich 2 points3 points ago

I heard of it: here.

[–]Giantsgentleman_brown 46 points47 points ago

Given his legendary preparation for gameday, he's probably boning up on the defense for a game against the Texans to be played in 2004.

[–]Coltsdwhitey724 115 points116 points ago

Pulling. Them. Off.

[–]Steelerselgambino 37 points38 points ago

No can dosville, Babydoll.

[–]BearsDucksaucenem 10 points11 points ago

And that's from a GCWOK.

[–]RedskinsThe_Bard 2 points3 points ago

GCWOK approved!

[–]BrownsFlexibleBandage 105 points106 points ago

10/10 would bang.

[–]Texansmainsworth 263 points264 points ago

10/10 would draft.

[–]Packersgreycubed 153 points154 points ago

10/10 would send Favre to the Vikings for.

[–]Packerslbutton 73 points74 points ago

We'll never forget you Bert.

[–]Patriotslemonpjb 55 points56 points ago

Bert Fraff; the greatest QB of all time.

[–]PackersBeemow 5 points6 points ago

Favre got us a Super Bowl though.

[–]Saintsperylene 21 points22 points ago

If I had to do it over again, I'd still draft Leaf. Can't go through life second guessing myself.

[–]Coltsb3wizz 6 points7 points ago

KNOCK IT OFF!

[–]Coltslawlamanjaro 57 points58 points ago

10/10 did draft!

[–]LionsShaqsquatch 16 points17 points ago

10/10 would give Heisman to Woodson instead!

[–]Lionsfusebox13 7 points8 points ago

Flair up!

[–]Coltslawlamanjaro 4 points5 points ago

Ive had it for months now Idk why tis not showing =( FIXED IT

[–]PanthersCHAAAZZZZ 10 points11 points ago

That's how herpes works.

[–]TexansZosoer 2 points3 points ago

We need David Carr back.

[–]Broncosyamaha2k11 23 points24 points ago

10/10 would pick up in FA.

[–]Titansmocktopus 65 points66 points ago

LL Bean pack!

[–]Patriotskylepm 14 points15 points ago

I had the exact same one when I was in college!

[–]Steelerselgambino 19 points20 points ago

I have the exact same one and I'm in college!

[–]Patriotskylepm 4 points5 points ago

I thought all the kids were using the courier-style bags these days. It's cool that the classic LL Bean backpack is still being made and is still in use.

[–]Steelerselgambino 7 points8 points ago

Haha, I'm probably looked down upon because of my L.L. Bean bag (especially since I'm at school in the south). But from a utilitarian stand-point, you can't beat that lifetime warranty. I stand by the bean.

[–]49erscurien 2 points3 points ago

I have the exact same one and I'm at work! It was bought almost 20 years ago, when I was in middle school.

[–]PatriotsSaveDonkin 7 points8 points ago

<PWM>

[–]GiantsoOoleveloOo 75 points76 points ago

reading books like he reads defenses.

[–]Giantshawkke 34 points35 points ago

I thought the exact same thing, he is such an intelligent guy. Even though he might be just skimming through the book the dude has the same face as he does when looking through the Polaroids of the defense.

[–]CardinalsThaHarterIII 41 points42 points ago

you might even say he's a student of the game.

[–]Giantshawkke 16 points17 points ago

Or the sheriff?

[–]Broncosxakeri 11 points12 points ago

He's a real coach on the field.

[–]CowboysLohengren 4 points5 points ago

First at the practice facility, last to leave.

[–]ColtsPlethoPappus 6 points7 points ago

you also might even say it was a staged picture.

edit: Confirmed. This is a picture from Sports Illustrated per the official Tennessee football twitter feed.

[–]Coltsmadboymatt 4 points5 points ago

I would bet that it is a play book.

[–]GiantsoOoleveloOo 5 points6 points ago

still counts as a book doesn't it?

[–]Coltsmadboymatt 7 points8 points ago

Absolutely. Likely harder to understand...

[–]ChiefsHeroicGomez 6 points7 points ago

That in fact is a big part of how he became such a great QB. From the moment he got his Colts playbook after being drafted he studied that tome back and front and learned every nuance of text before setting foot in training camp. And he's done that every year since.

[–]49ersmajellan 19 points20 points ago

Broncos win the Superbowl and Peyton wins MVP. I can already see the movie starring Matthew McConaughey.

[–]Coltsrazpotim[!] 31 points32 points ago

Implying that Peyton Manning wouldn't star as himself.

[–]Bearsyoungtuck 12 points13 points ago

No forehead in Hollywood could match up.

[–]TexansArianFosterThePeople 50 points51 points ago

I'd fuck Peyton

[–]TexansjordaVision 51 points52 points ago

With your PeytonManthing?

[–]TitansDrPrick 17 points18 points ago

You'll never see Tyler bray reading a book

[–]Raidersbobsp 8 points9 points ago

He's too busy whipping beer bottles off his apartment balcony at parked cars. That and slamming his helmet because he made another terrible throw.

[–]BengalsBrian_is_trilla 33 points34 points ago

He wouldn't be caught dead in UGGS

[–]goelectric 17 points18 points ago

I swear I once read an article that talked about how in college he had to have his mom or his girlfriend pick out his clothes otherwise nothing would match. He basically is an autistic football savant.

EDIT: I found it!! http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1017735/index.htm

Your move, OP!

[–]meantforamazing 26 points27 points ago

This needs to go on /r/ladyboners.

[–]EaglesGriff_Steeltower 12 points13 points ago

Nothing says freedom like a pair of cowboy boots.

[–]Titanstumorman 11 points12 points ago

Good god he's incredible. Sucks when your favorite player craps on your favorite team twice a year. At least I don't have to worry about that anymore.

[–]Falconsfbrooks 10 points11 points ago

He was clean

[–]Oilersleoselassie 9 points10 points ago

Nice Broncos Plaid going for Peyton here.

[–]BroncosAvoidingIowa 5 points6 points ago

He planned it all along...

[–]ShineOnAndOn 9 points10 points ago

LL Bean backpacks are both sturdy and reliable...10/10 would tote again

[–]Saintsthrowloop 21 points22 points ago

Dope as fuck.

[–]PackersIluvtinykox 14 points15 points ago

Looks like a pair of Ostrich Tony Lamas.

[–]kewlperfume 6 points7 points ago

Like a boss.

Dude must have had chicks all over him in college.

[–]PackersPirateKefka 6 points7 points ago

Tutor: "Now you should be able to get 100 on the next test." Peyton: "Got it, I'll get a 200"

[–]Falconsern19 5 points6 points ago

I think I just turned gay a little.

[–]dog_eat_dog 5 points6 points ago

mama says they was my magic shoes

[–]49ersDolewhip 9 points10 points ago

Only serious students have that double-big-pouch backpack.

[–]PinneappleSoup 10 points11 points ago

Is he willingly looking down at that book, or is the weight of his forehead too much for his neck to bear? We may never know...

[–]Falconstwsmith89 11 points12 points ago

[–]Chiefsa_haar 3 points4 points ago

They would have a heyday with that fit.

[–]inthesouth 4 points5 points ago

I remember seeing him at one of my frats flag football games in 97. The guy looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. It was honestly difficult for me to reconcile this guy as the same one that would take multiple hits every game day from 250+ pound guys. Everyone that I know that has meet him say he is a real class act though. I didn't approach him as I thought that would just be awkward. I imagine the convo would have gone something like this:

Me: hey you're Peyton Manning! Him: Yep Me: you're pretty awesome Him: thaaanks (Walks Away)

[–]Titansooh_lawd 5 points6 points ago

As a former Tennessee student, I think the best part of this picture is that he's sitting right next to a street now known as "Peyton Manning Pass"

[–]Lionschadpatrick 10 points11 points ago

Things are going great, and they're only getting better

I'm doing all right, getting good grades

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades

I gotta wear shades

[–]PackersxJFK 6 points7 points ago

Dat Tennessee Swag attack.

[–]Coltsbusche916 3 points4 points ago

That's some MVP style, right there.

[–]DanPavone 3 points4 points ago

He looks like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys

[–]allocater 1 point2 points ago

At first I thought: How nice, he gets to have sunlight in detention. Then I read 1997 and thought, oh, that must have been before his detention. Then I read the name again and realized, oh that is not the Manning from Wikileaks.

[–]Panthersjesusinabottle 2 points3 points ago

Looks like someone's here from /r/all.

[–]EaglesMisterxRager 3 points4 points ago

IAmA request, someone who partied with payton manning in college

[–]CowboysBadLemur 4 points5 points ago

I have boots a lot like those. They're awesome.

[–]TexansSinglemalt_28 8 points9 points ago

it doesn't get better than full quill ostrich

[–]CowboysBadLemur 6 points7 points ago

Fact.

[–]TexansPOINTSADDICT 5 points6 points ago

That can't have been good for his neck.

[–]Broncosloginorreg 4 points5 points ago

People realize this is a photo shoot, right?

[–]ChargersRobotKitten 2 points3 points ago

"Wtf, this isn't a football. Can I even throw this?"

[–]BuccaneersFuckaYouWhale 3 points4 points ago

TFM.

[–]bouncingmatthew 2 points3 points ago

Still looks like a horse.

[–]ColtsAmiriteClyde 2 points3 points ago

Here are my boots. Peyton knows what's up...

[–]Chiefsnerrrrrrrrrddd 2 points3 points ago

come on over! /r/cowboyboots

[–]PanthersGreeneRockets 2 points3 points ago

Even in this picture, he looks more badass than I ever could dream to be. I love me some Peyton.

[–]Texanscomradenu 3 points4 points ago

BOW BOW... chicka chickaaaaaa

[–]BroncosBad_Advice_Cat 2 points3 points ago

BOW BOW....ooohhhhhh yeaaaahhh

[–]RavensLestalia 3 points4 points ago

Dat L.L. Bean backpack...

[–]Bearsrorydaniel 3 points4 points ago

Put a Pabst in his hand and he looks like a hipster.

[–]Titansfingawkward 19 points20 points ago

He was getting sorostitute tail with that look before hipsters knew what women were.

[–]PatriotsJayHay23 11 points12 points ago

Yeah, this is definitely some southern fraternity attire. Definitely not hipster.

[–]Texansillegal_deagle 2 points3 points ago

Shit, this would be a perfectly good /r/malefashionadvice crosspost.

[–]BengalsDecentPizza 2 points3 points ago

This could have been taken in the 60s.

[–]RavensTHEsolid85 0 points1 point ago

"The fuck'd you just say??"

[–]Giantsmacababy 0 points1 point ago

I think you have to call the editor to audible a book.

[–]Packersjsellout 1 point2 points ago

I think he looks cool as fuck.

[–]AReadingRainbow 0 points1 point ago

he has a book!

[–]Cowboysredmustang04 1 point2 points ago

Peyton still dresses like that in the picture.

[–]CowboysPizzaDeliveryMan 0 points1 point ago

Dayyuuuuumm.

[–]Tyler1986 1 point2 points ago

Lookin' good, I must say.

[–]MilesColtrane 0 points1 point ago

fucking awesome boots

[–]PatriotsNaynay31 0 points1 point ago

He looks like scott summers aka cyclops.

[–]Ithinkthere4Ibooze 0 points1 point ago

Can't wait till he's the coach of the University of Tennessee.

[–]Buccaneersmigbike 0 points1 point ago

Where is his other leg?

[–]NFCduxup 0 points1 point ago

Humm, crappy pizza seems like a good investment...

[–]delirium_triggens -1 points0 points ago

mcconaughey? is that you?

[–]NFLMobiGuidedotME 0 points1 point ago

I bet they cost and arm and a leg. Was probably getting 20 large a week from Alumni handouts at that point.

[–]Bengalsluvs2scrooge 0 points1 point ago

Killer boots man!