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2256

Professional genius hackermaster's facebook statuses (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Grymrir

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[–]treysome 268 points269 points ago

For someone as high tech as this 3l1t3 hax0r, I find it odd that he uses a T-mobile Sidekick.

[–]entropikone 135 points136 points ago

he totes haxorzrd his iphone so hard that if he posts to the bookface the fbi govumentz gon shut him away in a prison jail.

[–]Mr_Hank_Scorpio 63 points64 points ago

Don't piss him off man. He's semi tall.

[–]mrcdubbin 11 points12 points ago

who knows, in HTML he could be 100px tall!

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      [–]Truck_Thunders 428 points429 points ago

      Lookout motherfucker, I can write hello world in c++, java , AND Python.

      [–]GameGenie710 208 points209 points ago

      No one is safe.

      [–]servohahn 182 points183 points ago

      no won is saif hehejeje

      [–]The_Red_Egg1 31 points32 points ago

      no Won is Saif HeheJejeje

      [–]millioncaribous 5 points6 points ago

      And also computers

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        [–]PatAunces 159 points160 points ago

        I mean really, of all the things to brag about, Python? I'm a Python programmer, that's not something to brag about. The entire point of Python is that it's easier and quicker to use. It's like bragging because you switched from an abacus to a calculator.

        [–]Truck_Thunders 169 points170 points ago

        What'd you say motherfucker? I'm a genious, I'll send you a trojan to format your hard drive.

        [–]archeronefour 176 points177 points ago

        I'm gonna hack you so hard. And computers.

        [–]itsasillyplace 44 points45 points ago

        "And computers" will be its own meme

        [–]fufdoofGOG 54 points55 points ago

        What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

        [–]Truck_Thunders 23 points24 points ago

        I really love the "gorilla warfare" bit.

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            [–]sealpoacher 17 points18 points ago

            Give the kid PyGame and he'll start saying he's a professional game developer.

            [–]Rustysporkman 28 points29 points ago

            Real hackers run MATLAB, muthafucka.

            [–]thebritishguy1 24 points25 points ago

            BRB, wiping you hard drive with a Fast Fourier Transform.

            [–]gabroll 2 points3 points ago

            Me and my Actionscript 2.0 will ruin your life.

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                [–]FROSTEDLARD 3 points4 points ago

                What's there to brag about, you ask?

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                  [–]shorty6049 81 points82 points ago

                  I can do fucking SCARY SHIT with some HTML

                  [–]niallkb 40 points41 points ago

                  <marquee> that's right i hacked it to make the words move, be scared.</marquee>

                  [–]goblinpiledriver 9 points10 points ago

                  haha noob I hacked it so everyone just sees ur HTML hacker tags and it doesn't actually move gg no re see you at Defcon OWAIT NO I WONT

                  [–]Truck_Thunders 27 points28 points ago

                  I've got LOIC bitch.

                  [–]ElPotatoDiablo 5 points6 points ago

                  HYPERCARD 4 LYFE NYUKKA!

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                    [–]oreography 9 points10 points ago

                    <p> Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens </p> ....Yeah, got my PHD in web dev

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                      [–]sealpoacher 15 points16 points ago

                      I will fucking destroy your computer with my CSS knowledge.

                      [–]RollingGoron 5 points6 points ago

                      Don't forget Ruby. He'll take over the world in four languages!!

                      [–]Gooberpatrol66 5 points6 points ago

                      Bitch, please. I can use Scratch.

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                        [–]quickquestionrl 318 points319 points ago

                        I don't know man, I wouldn't mess with this guy, he is "highly intelligent"

                        [–]ericksonvu 179 points180 points ago

                        Must be /u/darqwolff

                        [–]Striker65 69 points70 points ago

                        Was this the guy who wrote that big paragraph about all the ridiculous lies about how "Awesome he was"?

                        [–]ericksonvu 114 points115 points ago

                        He's the one who talks about how smart he is. According to him he took an IQ test in 7th grade and got in the 99.9th percentile, understands physics, psychology and blah blah blah. So yeah, maybe.

                        [–]Sidian 160 points161 points ago

                        He genuinely believes that he is, to quote him, "one of the smartest people in history."

                        He's either a fantastic troll or the most arrogant and deluded person I've ever seen.

                        [–]Brettersson 82 points83 points ago

                        oh god, is he the one who sent that huge email to Gaben loaded with cringe and then posted it here?

                        [–]WalnutSoap 53 points54 points ago

                        Oh god. Do you have a link?

                        [–]HotcakesUnited 76 points77 points ago

                        Here.

                        [–]HotDinnerBatman 37 points38 points ago

                        What dark hole of Reddit did you send me to?

                        [–]mrchives47 23 points24 points ago

                        The last half hour of my life just vanished. It's a black hole of cringe and facepalm.

                        [–]Dr_Explosion 8 points9 points ago

                        It gets better.

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                          [–]MissGarrison 49 points50 points ago

                          ... What a smug little shit. I can't even read through this novella of his virtues.

                          [–]nmbr 16 points17 points ago

                          [...] In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community [...]

                          oh hohohehahohe

                          [–]namedjesse 21 points22 points ago

                          Oh my god, how does one not realize how dumb what he says sounds. And coming from a 15 year old? errr...

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                            [–]Bloodysneeze 7 points8 points ago

                            Holy shit. I'm ashamed to be of the same species as someone that would write that.

                            [–]Werewolf_of_London 12 points13 points ago

                            I love how he started at "life goal number zero" to make sure they understood that he knew how to start counting at zero instead of one, because obviously that's not a given in computing.

                            [–]TL10 6 points7 points ago

                            ...being the CEO of Google is my primary objective in life.

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVMib1T4T4

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                              [–]ThatsSciencetastic 15 points16 points ago

                              Here's the comment where he posts the email.

                              His lifelong goal is to be a billionaire and he's going to do that by becoming the CEO of Google.

                              [–]Cactusgun 13 points14 points ago

                              LMAO oh fuck me. CEO of google, really?

                              [–]Bronan_the_Brobarian 3 points4 points ago

                              With his advanced understanding of Physics, Engineering, Philosophy, and Psychology.

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                                [–]JakJakAttacks 2 points3 points ago

                                Holy. Shit.

                                There are no words.

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                                    [–]Abedeus 13 points14 points ago

                                    Too committed for way too long to be a troll.

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                                      [–]oztheterrible 69 points70 points ago

                                      I feel like this guy read a couple of Artemis Fowl books and it all went downhill from there.

                                      [–]bucky2300 14 points15 points ago

                                      "Oh my God... This person is just like me! I am destined to battle with high-tech fairies!"

                                      [–]oztheterrible 8 points9 points ago

                                      We're getting there. Just wait for it.

                                      [–]Obtuse_Moose 5 points6 points ago

                                      Man, I fucking loved those things as a kid!

                                      [–]WalterMatthau 55 points56 points ago

                                      He doesn't just understand physics:

                                      My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him.

                                      [–]nalydtnuc 38 points39 points ago

                                      What I hate- he has positive karma.

                                      [–]vishbar 43 points44 points ago

                                      He posts on brony subreddits a lot.

                                      That should go toward explaining it.

                                      [–]NewUSSR 46 points47 points ago

                                      Of course he would post on MLP subreddits. Of course.

                                      [–]Route34 15 points16 points ago

                                      It's funny because he isn't really liked there either. He was permabanned from MLSG and is often the the butt of many jokes in MLAS1 and has been banned twice from the MLPLounge.

                                      [–]YesteryearsSnowdens 40 points41 points ago

                                      That moment when even bronies reject you. Ouch.

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                                          [–]DepartmentStoreSpook 22 points23 points ago

                                          From my understanding even the MLP community hates the guy. You'd have to be on a level of autism so insanely high that there is an entirely new incomprehensibly large autism spectrum dedicated to it to be vehemently hated by them.

                                          [–]vishbar 22 points23 points ago

                                          He's not on the autism spectrum. He's on the autism coordinate plane.

                                          [–]Gohack 2 points3 points ago

                                          Nah he's on the spectrum. He's an autistic extremist. He's the Hitler of autism.

                                          [–]comment_transcriber 5 points6 points ago

                                          On behalf of the autistic community, I'd like to apologise for Darqwolff and Chris-Chan, blame their behaviour on drugs and remind everyone that we made up for it with Pokemon

                                          [–]Striker65 41 points42 points ago

                                          Oh yeah thats right. Is he the one that mentioned that he has a PHD understanding of a few subjects, without the PHD?

                                          [–]ericksonvu 4 points5 points ago

                                          Oh yeah

                                          [–]Nathim 30 points31 points ago

                                          Dude, he can debunk Freud's theories. Sigmund Freud's theories!

                                          [–]Nyeep 12 points13 points ago

                                          That was my favourite bit - nobody can. All his theories take place in the unconscious, which, by definition, is inaccessable and therefore unmeasurable. Therefore, you cannot prove or disprove his theories.

                                          [–]MisterUNO 9 points10 points ago

                                          He's also writing a novel.

                                          [–]_cornflake 10 points11 points ago

                                          Is it about ponies? I feel like it must be about ponies.

                                          [–]10z20Luka 9 points10 points ago

                                          No, apparently he is going to become the next Stephen King.

                                          No, he doesn't want to become the next Stephen King. Him becoming the next Stephen King is his fall back plan, assuming becoming the CEO of Google doesn't work out. Swear to god, his words. His writing skills are so great that he has absolute confidence that he will become a famous author.

                                          As for the ponies, no, that's not what his main novel is about. It's some sort of spy drama, if I recall. He has written a short story or two about ponies though, if I'm not mistaken. I don't believe they are very well-known.

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                                            [–]avree 5 points6 points ago

                                            Now with 100% more face-to-the-user.

                                            http://www.reddit.com/r/MLPLounge/comments/syujo/hey_guys_im_seriously_considering_doing_or/

                                            and the linked YouTube:

                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCNFxoKb3bI

                                            [–]dr_rainbow 33 points34 points ago

                                            I think underneath it all darqwolf is pretty harmless, he's just another lonely, pretty smart teenager who lacks any real father figures in his life.

                                            [–]sultanblender 68 points69 points ago

                                            pretty smart teenager

                                            You're not fooling anyone darqwolf

                                            [–]Salva_Veritate 29 points30 points ago

                                            Darqwolf would have said "pretty, smart teenager".

                                            [–]Zomgondo 8 points9 points ago

                                            Not to worry, he has a girlfriend he probably won't marry until he's out of high school.

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                                                [–]333kyary 43 points44 points ago

                                                It's even worse, he possesses "high intellectual intelligence".

                                                Don't fuck with this guy, he might destroy you.

                                                [–]ConstableOdo 6 points7 points ago

                                                Hey! I have high intellectual intelligence. I will defend our People Hatred Klan and Organized Lynch your accounts which are no longer safe.

                                                That capitalization didn't even hurt because I am wired to my PC.

                                                [–]FOOGEE 14 points15 points ago

                                                Not only that, but also Computers!

                                                [–]XxXNightstalkerX 9 points10 points ago

                                                He can write a mean GUI interface in Visual Basic

                                                [–]T-Sten 2 points3 points ago

                                                He possesses high intellectual intelligence.

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                                                  [–]QueenOfTheNeckbeards 446 points447 points ago

                                                  How much are we willing to bet this is the same kid that posted the video showing us how to H4xx~~! Google using "Tracer T"

                                                  Lord I am still recovering from that cringe.

                                                  [–]Pathlessflame 47 points48 points ago

                                                  As someone not too tech savy, what exactly did he do using the tracer t? I watched the video, but what is the big deal?

                                                  [–]QueenOfTheNeckbeards 112 points113 points ago

                                                  In pretty simple terms, trace route shows how your computer gets to a destination. So all he was doing was showing how his computer reaches Google ["hopping" through different routers], and in doing so he revealed his own IP, all the while acting like he was a ~SUPER 3L1T3 H4XX0r* ... and he didn't even do that right, as placing http:// in front of it actually made the whole process defunct, but that's an entirely different failure.

                                                  On the whole, pretty bad.

                                                  [–]Lj101 27 points28 points ago

                                                  What did the http:// do to defunct it?

                                                  [–]emkael 44 points45 points ago

                                                  The http:// prefix denotes a specific protocol within a machine specified with a domain name (translated to an IP address), while tracert works in scope of an entire IP address (without the distinction of a specific higher-level protocol) only and expects to be provided only with the domain name/address.

                                                  Depending on the implementation and network setup, providing tracert the prefix with the domain name, may cause the system to be unable to resolve the domain name (as if one entered "www.http://google.com" in a web browser).

                                                  [–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 34 points35 points ago

                                                  wut

                                                  [–]emkael 90 points91 points ago

                                                  TLDRLI5: if you want to know the directions to where your friend lives, don't put "his living room" in Google Maps.

                                                  [–]Batty-Koda 65 points66 points ago

                                                  I'd say it's more like don't put "when we get there I'm going to eat chips" in google maps.

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                                                    [–]rollerbarrel 21 points22 points ago

                                                    http:// specifies the http protocol, which is not what tracert uses

                                                    [–]UmDieWelt 6 points7 points ago

                                                    http protocol

                                                    That's like a GUI interface, right?

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                                                        [–]rollerbarrel 15 points16 points ago

                                                        The command is "trace route". It shows you the routers between your PC and your destination - in this case google.com. The ping time is the connection speed between the routers you are tracing.

                                                        Typically, running tracert from home will go through several of your ISPs routers and then start timing out as soon as it reaches an internal network that knocks down ICMP packets, which tracert uses. In this video, the kid lives in Dallas, TX and uses Roadrunner internet, so he's going to see those same results every time he uses tracert to anywhere. (Except for, say, other computers on his home network.)

                                                        tl;dr massive troll

                                                        [–]Stygeros 12 points13 points ago

                                                        What QueenOfTheNeckbeards said, and he also mispronounced it. It's not tracer t, but trace rt, where rt stands for route.

                                                        [–]teawreckshero 13 points14 points ago

                                                        I'm calling it Tracer Tee from now on.

                                                        [–]codecx81 7 points8 points ago

                                                        He did the command line version of this:

                                                        http://www.yougetsignal.com/tools/visual-tracert/

                                                        Its pretty neat.

                                                        Calculates the points or "hops" between your network and whatever the destination is.

                                                        While it might look impressive to those who don't regularly use technology, this is just a visual report of the internet acting how its supposed to perform.

                                                        In reality, this guy can go and try to write code to wipe hard drives all he wants. Smallest dogs bark the loudest.. He's gonna eventually piss someone off enough & DDoS his face in.

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                                                          [–]CaptainAdventure 117 points118 points ago

                                                          I don't want to find that video but I feel like I must. What have you done!

                                                          [–]QueenOfTheNeckbeards 291 points292 points ago

                                                          It's awful

                                                          [–]CallMeGreg 378 points379 points ago

                                                          I lost it at "10 people are currently using google".

                                                          [–]RaindropBebop 223 points224 points ago

                                                          "Request timed out. I can't view these people because my connection's not as good as theirs."

                                                          Oh my.

                                                          [–]bossferatu 36 points37 points ago

                                                          oh lord..
                                                          Now.. i am a complete computermoron when it comes to anything like this, but common sense would've kicked me in the groin for saying "10 people are currently using google"

                                                          [–]PunkPenguin 2 points3 points ago

                                                          Same, I honestly don't know shit about computers but I cringed so fucking hard at that point.

                                                          [–]anoano 54 points55 points ago

                                                          I almost peed myself

                                                          [–]awesomemanftw 11 points12 points ago

                                                          it gave me so much brain damage that I can no longer hold in it in.

                                                          [–]anoano 33 points34 points ago

                                                          I know, a whole ten people on Google, worldwide. The president debate must have been on that night.

                                                          [–]Bannerman_x 14 points15 points ago

                                                          These people must be on a shared server because they all have the same IP.

                                                          [–]admiral_bonetopick 105 points106 points ago

                                                          I refuse to believe that that is real.

                                                          [–]donwilson 50 points51 points ago

                                                          This is definitely real.

                                                          [–]beboshoulddie 85 points86 points ago

                                                          Complete with the last two digits being the IP Server Connection Number.

                                                          [–]AscentofDissent 52 points53 points ago

                                                          Obviously this is his username to something...

                                                          [–]Hobo-With-A-Shotgun 7 points8 points ago

                                                          Unlikely. You don't find out the tracert command without having a vague idea of how it works.

                                                          He'd likely have deleted the video years ago if it was.

                                                          [–]mochizuki 9 points10 points ago

                                                          Someone probably showed him in computer class and told him it was hacking.

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                                                            [–]BobbyBitternut 80 points81 points ago

                                                            Sorry if I'm being stupid but I don't really understand what he is actually doing in that video?

                                                            [–]mattattaxx 192 points193 points ago

                                                            He thinks he's seeing other people viewing google.com, and apparently only 10 people are viewing it, the rest are so fast he can't see them.

                                                            He's actually just seeing the hops it took for him to connect to google.com.

                                                            [–]BobbyBitternut 71 points72 points ago

                                                            Ah right, cheers for clearing that up. I did think he caught Google at a bit of a slow time...

                                                            [–]motdidr 90 points91 points ago

                                                            He also called the command "tracer t" but it's really "trace route", and it literally does that: traces the route from your computer to a destination server.

                                                            [–]papalkombat 53 points54 points ago

                                                            The worse part is it actually says "Tracing route to google.com" in the output.

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                                                              [–]Nestorow 31 points32 points ago

                                                              As far as i understand he is tracing what routers his IP address goes through to get to Google, and how long that takes

                                                              [–]rabidbasher 5 points6 points ago

                                                              Generally, yeah. It follows the route to the destination site (http://google.com) and displays the IPs of the internet infrastructure it has to pass through. This is handy if you have a site that isn't coming up and you want to see where the connection dies for whatever reason.

                                                              [–]joemangle 105 points106 points ago

                                                              He's being a faggot

                                                              [–]RB94 131 points132 points ago

                                                              That's Faggo T.

                                                              [–]Soupr 17 points18 points ago

                                                              with a backslash, it looks something like this #

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                                                                [–]eamantite 51 points52 points ago

                                                                The technical term.

                                                                [–]QwertyYouEyeOp 18 points19 points ago

                                                                http://i.imgur.com/ftY4K.jpg

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                                                                  [–]PhantomPumpkin 46 points47 points ago

                                                                  I'm glad he told me I need an internet connection. I was wondering what was going on and why it wasn't working.

                                                                  [–]ThreeUmbrellas 45 points46 points ago

                                                                  "you see I have a solid good connection"

                                                                  [–]hnrqoliv182 40 points41 points ago

                                                                  Semicolon slash slash, no not semi colon, this dot dot thing...

                                                                  My god.

                                                                  [–]Sell200AprilAt142 7 points8 points ago

                                                                  tea was spluttered...

                                                                  [–]DoTheDew 147 points148 points ago

                                                                  How the fuck can he know what a semi colon is, but have no clue what a dot dot is?

                                                                  [–]TheBullshitPatrol 31 points32 points ago

                                                                  I, admittedly, get colons and semicolons mixed up from time to time. He doesn't seem to know that both exist.

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                                                                    [–]CaptainAdventure 53 points54 points ago

                                                                    No... It's too much... I can't go on...

                                                                    [–]plutPWNium 54 points55 points ago

                                                                    I had to justify watching this out loud in case a robber was spying on me.

                                                                    [–]Verius 48 points49 points ago

                                                                    Oh god, there's more.

                                                                    I can really teach you some amazing things, like TORRENTS... and uh... piracy...

                                                                    [–]aniota 54 points55 points ago

                                                                    God. Please. no.

                                                                    "Piracy is basically.. burning.. games. Off the internet. Using torrents, bit torrents, whatever you wanna call it."

                                                                    "The art of piracy.. it really.. it really is amazing. I can really teach you a lot."

                                                                    Come on, guys. He added the google search bar widget.

                                                                    [–]Possiblyreef 41 points42 points ago

                                                                    Torren T

                                                                    [–]Cushion_Dropkick 12 points13 points ago

                                                                    I shit skittles when he said, "pirating is really bad and I shouldn't be showing you this". Makes me think of a 5th grader that got a hold of his brother's weed.

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                                                                      [–]Delicious_Citrus 35 points36 points ago

                                                                      He sounded like he was trying to make his voice deeper at the beginning. And then later in the video "I, uh, may sound like I'm about 14, but I can really really show you what to do, alright?"

                                                                      [–]tannersnotreal 29 points30 points ago

                                                                      "This is uTorrent...it's this really awsome...thing...you can get a lot of uh...toys on it..."

                                                                      [–]Siniroth 12 points13 points ago

                                                                      It's his site, its brand new and um...

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                                                                        [–]Batty-Koda 14 points15 points ago

                                                                        I think my favorite bit is when he's moving his mouse around and you see an AOL icon on the desktop...

                                                                        [–]my5ticdrag0n 27 points28 points ago

                                                                        "That's obviously a shared server."

                                                                        Lunchtime has never been better

                                                                        [–]teawreckshero 17 points18 points ago

                                                                        "Last two digits stand for IP server connection number."

                                                                        He's making this up as he goes.

                                                                        [–]mydearwatson616 22 points23 points ago

                                                                        Shit... I thought pinging 26ms to Google was pretty good but I guess I should upgrade to 56k so I can see speeds in the thousands.

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                                                                            [–]underdabridge 130 points131 points ago

                                                                            Damn. I just want to give that poor kid a hug and tell him everything will be ok.

                                                                            [–]ThatCrankyGuy 142 points143 points ago

                                                                            Sounds like teenage depression. He's lonely and friendless and he's turning to his imaginary skills in computers in order to impress everyone... Man, I hope someone helps him before it gets really weird.

                                                                            [–]underdabridge 110 points111 points ago

                                                                            It's worse in a facebook world. I am sooooooooo glad there was no facebook while I was growing up.

                                                                            [–]HolyTryst 37 points38 points ago

                                                                            Agreed. I have a few younger family friends on my feed and I just want to tell them, "Dude, delete all of that, you're going to regret it so much when you get older."

                                                                            [–]zombie_toddler 6 points7 points ago

                                                                            Just imagine all the future jobs these people will fail to get because of some future service that will allow HR managers to "deep search" Facebook archives.

                                                                            That type of search may not be legal to use for civilian purposes, but it definitely will be available to the government for jobs that require government clearance.

                                                                            [–]Sell200AprilAt142 12 points13 points ago

                                                                            Weening the retards out of government service? And this is a bad idea how?... /s

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                                                                                [–]broden 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                He's just a typical teenage megalomaniac. Many of us have been there.

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                                                                                  [–]Zomonada 198 points199 points ago

                                                                                  He sounds like he would feel slimy.

                                                                                  [–]Truck_Thunders 24 points25 points ago

                                                                                  and smell heavily of old spice with a faint scent of bo that he can't fully cover with his copious amounts of body spray.

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                                                                                    [–]freddamgaard 30 points31 points ago

                                                                                    We best watch out! He has high intellectual intelegence!

                                                                                    [–]A_British_Gentleman 74 points75 points ago

                                                                                    IPCONFIG /ALL

                                                                                    I AM SUCH A HACKER

                                                                                    [–]Shadax 47 points48 points ago

                                                                                    TRACERT 8.8.8.8

                                                                                    LULZ I TROLL HACKED YOU GOOGLE

                                                                                    [–]siilver 39 points40 points ago

                                                                                    ipconfig -release / -renew

                                                                                    I HAVE A NEW IP ADRESS, YOU CAN?T TRACK ME!!! AHAHAHAH

                                                                                    [–]FoxNewsReporter3 21 points22 points ago

                                                                                    CLS

                                                                                    there I go again, wiping my drives

                                                                                    [–]angrylawyer 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                    I used my high intellectual intelligence to clone your IP address, now I also use 192.168.1.101. But don't tell the government otherwise they'll track me down to figure out how I did it and they might end up at your house since we have the same IP address.

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                                                                                      [–]Fyzzle 132 points133 points ago

                                                                                      I found the red replies to be equally cringe worthy.

                                                                                      [–]cuntarsetits 33 points34 points ago

                                                                                      Even the red underlining somehow manages to be cringe-worthy.

                                                                                      [–]antaryon 36 points37 points ago

                                                                                      Programming in Ruby programming? Is that a new book published by the department of redundancy department?

                                                                                      [–]Connador 20 points21 points ago

                                                                                      It's just meta, he's writing two programs. One in Ruby, and the other in the language itself. By looking at the source code in a hex editor it reveals the following: 1 4/\/\ 4 1337 |-|4}{}{0|2

                                                                                      [–]farsightxr20 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                      Very impressive, considering most of those aren't even hex characters.

                                                                                      [–]Connador 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                      You can't underestimate how talented in programming he is.

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                                                                                          [–]tomeoftom 42 points43 points ago

                                                                                          Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-

                                                                                          But, really, lots of young kids are going to be awkward by nature and cringing at them seems a bit redundant.

                                                                                          [–]danski 29 points30 points ago

                                                                                          Yeah, lots of people go through an identity-defining phase where they adopt mannerisms to try them out. I hope this kid doesn't settle on this particular persona.

                                                                                          [–]ericksonvu 19 points20 points ago

                                                                                          He might end up like this guy

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                                                                                            [–]tembies 18 points19 points ago

                                                                                            I'm so grateful I was born before it became possible (and commonplace) to archive one's humiliating childhood awkwardness for the world to see.

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                                                                                              [–]Hernan-Crespo 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                              Lol T-mobile Sidekick.

                                                                                              [–]lifesabeach13 28 points29 points ago

                                                                                              Honest question: do hackers really exist? Like, is there somebody like Huge Jackman's character in Swordfish in real life?

                                                                                              [–]IEATCHAPSTICK 73 points74 points ago

                                                                                              yes and no. people can do things like what was done in the movie, but not in the way it was done in the movie. its less rock and roll drinking and seeing boobs its more very tedious searching through pages and pages of gobbleygook computer language.

                                                                                              an easy way to spot someone who isn't a hacker is leetspeak, because a great deal of hacking is illegal and it would be really fucking dumb to broadcast something like that.

                                                                                              as for the individual people who hack a great deal of them are actually employed by computer security companies and others who deal with trying to fight hackers and their job is to find weak spots in software and fix them.

                                                                                              so yes there are real hackers but they tend to have a pretty boring time doing it because it is a lot of reading numbers and random characters and not very many car chases. also they probably don't say "we're in" as much as they would like to.

                                                                                              [–]ConstableOdo 22 points23 points ago

                                                                                              I wish someone had told me this when I was 13ish. I got my first computer all to myself at 13 and I was going to be a super hacker girl (that was important to my plan, the girl part). I downloaded some brute forcing programs and had some stupid fun on neopets... then I learned python and tried "bigger game" like gaiaonline (I accomplished nothing) and then I realized it was really boring and python is really not that useful to me. I was so stupid. Fortunately, I have vowed to not be too embarrassed about anything I did before I was 18 or 19... I was just stupid.

                                                                                              [–]rosythewench 27 points28 points ago

                                                                                              I went to a computer/nerd camp in the sixth grade and was boasting to one of the other kids that I could "hack" his AOL account. He was all impressed, then asked me how....I told him that I could do it if he told me his password. facepalm

                                                                                              [–]happybadger 29 points30 points ago

                                                                                              LOLZ HAKD BY BECKY :33333 XD

                                                                                              [–]ConstableOdo 19 points20 points ago

                                                                                              The best thing I did was show everyone I could change grades by taking the page source code and editing it in notepad. I knew I wasn't really doing anything but they were all impressed. I told a couple kids I didn't like that I would do their grades up at the end of the year and that they didn't have to do any homework. It was revenge.

                                                                                              I was so 'clever' I was like "To make it look real I give myself like... 94% 96%. No one ever notices."

                                                                                              [–]rosythewench 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                              hahaha love it!

                                                                                              the shit we say as kids to impress other people....

                                                                                              [–]ConstableOdo 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                              Well. I was being malicious. They got in a lot of trouble for their bad grades. I got picked on a lot so I either got into fights or got them in trouble.

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                                                                                                    [–]mistermoxy 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                    Kind of. "Hackers" that the media talks about are actually "crackers", they try to gain unauthorized access to things. Some look through code for exploits and some just talk people out of information. It's called "social engineering". Wired interviewed a guy who did a lot of it. Here's the article.

                                                                                                    [–]greet_the_sun 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                    The people who call themselves hackers are usually just "script kiddies", people who use prepackaged exploits made by someone much more knowledgeable than them. The name usually used to refer to people actually finding these exploits and creating software to take advantage of them is "black hats", versus a "white hat" who usually works for telecom/security and tries to stop said exploits.

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                                                                                                      [–]InsaneAngler 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                      Have you even READ Neuromancer bro?

                                                                                                      [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                                                      [–]Sigdur 30 points31 points ago

                                                                                                      Command Prompt: telnet [enter] o [enter] towel.blinkenlights.nl [enter]

                                                                                                      A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

                                                                                                      LOL I IS L33T HAX0R!11!!

                                                                                                      [–]beboshoulddie 16 points17 points ago

                                                                                                      In all fairness, that is a pretty neat trick

                                                                                                      [–]Argent162 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                      Well I can write boobies on a calculator.

                                                                                                      [–]ShamalamanPanda 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                                      "head's electrical neurons interfering with the dentist device"

                                                                                                      what the fuck did you just say

                                                                                                      what the fuck

                                                                                                      what

                                                                                                      [–]CircleOfJerk 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                                      This one transcends cringe and reaches pure sadness...

                                                                                                      [–]koobaxion 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                                      He's like the 21st century Moses Garza III

                                                                                                      [–]reese_ridley 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                      Moses and Nef would be the undisputed masters of /r/cringe

                                                                                                      [–]XxXNightstalkerX 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                                      Professional genious hackermaster's facebook statuses

                                                                                                      FTFY

                                                                                                      [–]Brammelam 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                      I can imagine how popular this must be, given the fact that 99% of reddit works in IT.

                                                                                                      [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                                                      [–]DavidCameronPM 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                      I would laugh but this is close enough to the sort of bollocks I said when I was fifteen to make me sad.

                                                                                                      [–]GanasbinTagap 19 points20 points ago

                                                                                                      Hacking, with Apple software.

                                                                                                      [–]Hugon 16 points17 points ago

                                                                                                      Uh, yeah. I agree this guy is a fucktwit but OS X is built on a Unix infrastructure. At a programming standpoint it's very similar to Linux.

                                                                                                      [–]Honztastic 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                      It'd be hilarious to see his "I'm smarter than you, I can use my highly intelligent mind brain to outsmart you and cause many..."

                                                                                                      And then some mouthbreather just punches the hell out of him and makes him cry.

                                                                                                      [–]n1c0_ds 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                      I'd actually get him keep talking. I am comfortable with most of the things he's talking about, and it would be a lot of fun to watch.

                                                                                                      Seriously, though. That poor kid needs a friend.

                                                                                                      [–]Honztastic 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                      True.

                                                                                                      But that better-than-thou attitude ain't gonna help.

                                                                                                      [–]thevideoclown 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                      Every computer science course in Uni has a couple of these guys. It's the worst.

                                                                                                      [–]ClintostheGreat 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                      As a computer science major, that was painful.

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