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top 200 commentsshow all 215

[–]Bulrog 179 points180 points ago

[–]serux 22 points23 points ago

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Poems are hard.

So am I.

[–]snailboy 5 points6 points ago

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Fudge is sweet.

Here's some fudge.

[–]xSARGEx117x 1 point2 points ago

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Get in the van

[–]therepeatergame 39 points40 points ago

[–]DrWinstonOBoogie 15 points16 points ago

What IS in the box? I NEED TO KNOW

[–]spydereleven 18 points19 points ago

Seriously, what's in the fucking box!

[–]PeachyLuigi 27 points28 points ago

[–]BumCum 4 points5 points ago

[–]XxXNightstalkerX 9 points10 points ago

You mother fucker....

[–]snags 0 points1 point ago

i dont know what im looking at...

[–]diy_tripper 3 points4 points ago

It's literally a box that some guy has been ejaculating into.

[–]Monkeys_with_Guns 3 points4 points ago

For years.

[–]Lavaswimmer 1 point2 points ago

then tried to burn.

[–]Eric_Wright 1 point2 points ago

cumbox......

[–]Monkeys_with_Guns 1 point2 points ago

Alright, here you go.

TL;DR, This guy is obsessed with jizzing inside of a cardboard box. He's been doing it for about three years. He recently (3 months ago) updated it, as you can see in edit 4. It has started to grow penicillin bacteria in it.

[–]snags 1 point2 points ago

ahhh,... it's not shocking but still disgusting. thanks for clarity.

[–]Monkeys_with_Guns 1 point2 points ago

There are very few things that still shock me on the internet. I almost never raise so much as an eyebrow, even when browsing /b/.

[–]iBeatStuffUp 0 points1 point ago

You are the worst kind of person.

[–]DoktuhParadox 0 points1 point ago

You're not Lynfect.

[–]kimburly 8 points9 points ago

Gwyneth Paltrow.

[–]Xx420xcirclejerker69 27 points28 points ago

It went okay.

[–]DTX120 6 points7 points ago

Let's face it - this card would sell.

[–]bradthebard 0 points1 point ago

just have the front of it say "for my ex <3" and I'd buy it.

[–]footcreamfin 3 points4 points ago

hey, that's Phil

[–]Kailebuh 7 points8 points ago

Who's Phil? His first name is Agent.

[–]logancook44 56 points57 points ago

This is the best movie ever.

"You're the next Douglas Bubbletrousers!"

"Rod, don't call me sensei." "Ok.... Sensei, is there a...."

"There is no tool in this pool."

"Where do you get off?"

"My name is Rod, and I like to party."

"Man, pools sure are good for holding water."

"That just shatters my entire universe."

"YOU'RE THE DEVIL!" (slams door)

"You're a terrible stuntman." "What?" "You're a terrible stuntman" "WHAT?!" "YOU'RE A TERRIBLE STUNT.." "Just kidding, I heard you the first time, it was just really mean."

"Why do they call you Voltron?" "Uh maybe cause its awesome..."

[–]NotoriousBigE 46 points47 points ago

I've been drinking green tea ALL GOD DAMN DAY. IM FREAKIN PUMPED!

[–]dan123md 23 points24 points ago

YOU GONNA BRING THE DEMONS OUTA ME?!?!?!?!?!?

[–]losttravelers 18 points19 points ago

I go to church every god Damn Sunday

[–]subie_05 14 points15 points ago

This is my hat now! Totally my hat!

[–]blacktoise 2 points3 points ago

I use this one all the time. Typically if I tip the hat from a friends head.

[–]psychoranger 12 points13 points ago

Have fun being married to SATAN!

[–]MrRonGalvan 17 points18 points ago

"....AND I AM GENUINELY SORRY ABOUT THE WINDOW"

[–]LeonHRodriguez 5 points6 points ago

"Beating me wouldn't prove anything now...I'm all through"

"All I want to do is earn your respect - how can I do that if you won't fight me?"

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you sucked at being a man all your life."

"God, I hate you so much...I just wanna smash your face in!"

"Too late - I'm a dead man."

[–]Negrokiller 4 points5 points ago

What movie is it?

[–]kuzatorn 5 points6 points ago

Hot Rod

[–]Skyeblade 5 points6 points ago

Hot Rod

[–]hjklyuiop 5 points6 points ago

Hot Rod

[–]lysslysslyss 2 points3 points ago

"I was too legit, Denise! I was too legit to quit! But then I became unlegit...so I quit."

[–]bRabby9 121 points122 points ago

Hot rod, awesome movie!!

[–]Wardoghk 36 points37 points ago

Cool beans!

[–]somefriedokra 27 points28 points ago

Cool beans.

[–]mondaywonderhands 27 points28 points ago

Cool cool, beans, beans, cool beans.

[–]ForeverAloneExplorer 25 points26 points ago

C-c-cool b-b-beans. COOL BEANS!

[–]pirate_doug 16 points17 points ago

C-c-c-c-Coo-coo-cool b-b-b-b-b-b-be-be-be-be-be-beans Beans

[–]ahabeans 3 points4 points ago

so... cool beans?

[–]bam6470 1 point2 points ago

C-c-c-c-com-com-combo b-b-b-b-b-b-br-br-br-br-br-breaker breaker

[–]Delicious_Dev 15 points16 points ago

Ultimate punch!

[–]moskoismycat 14 points15 points ago

It's on Comedy Central right now.

[–]Eze421 9 points10 points ago

Channel changed! Home all day due to the storm, so I thank you.

[–]Lavaswimmer 0 points1 point ago

It's also now on Netflix instant.

[–]SirPsychoStanky 6 points7 points ago

Wow, that shatters my entire universe.

[–]ForeverAloneExplorer 1 point2 points ago

Just saw it last night.

[–]RyMarquez5 0 points1 point ago

What the hell!? Is that a throwing star?!?

Uh huh :D

[–]hsertich 68 points69 points ago

THE most quotable movie out there. Great fucking movie.

[–]logancook44 34 points35 points ago

It's number one.

[–]dastevonader 40 points41 points ago

Im not saying that kiss was hot, but if the boner police were here I demand a lawyer!

[–]Dracula_Bus 16 points17 points ago

And he's a rock to symbolize all the hard work I've done for you.

[–]dan123md 13 points14 points ago

yah you can pretty much just throw it after the fireworks go off

[–]hsertich 15 points16 points ago

HEY LITTLE GIRL, I DON'T LIKE CHERRY. UPSETS MY STOMACH!

[–]SirVirus 12 points13 points ago

I'm gonna go get a vitamin water, should i make that dos?

[–]Boutros-Boutros 12 points13 points ago

Maybe I'll pick up a box of dong bags so we can knock boots later.

[–]SirVirus 12 points13 points ago

Babe! No! Babe!! Babe!! Babe!! Babe wait no!!! No!! Wait!!! Babe!

[–]Mapes 9 points10 points ago

THIS IS MY HAT NOW. THIS IS TOTALLY MY HAT.

[–]AbbaZabbaFriend 3 points4 points ago

I GO TO CHURCH EVERY GOD DAMN SUNDAY! YOU GONNA BRING THE DEMONS OUTTA ME!

[–]benhop 8 points9 points ago

It's 2 Legit to Quit.

[–]successadult 8 points9 points ago

You guys, the bathroom here is nuts.

[–]hsertich 7 points8 points ago

I just found a bag of fireworks in the mens bathroom. Would you like to light them off?

[–]Crasser 3 points4 points ago

How can I kick your ass if you're dead?!

[–]PirateMug 0 points1 point ago

What about the Big Lebowski?

[–]tokeroveragain 0 points1 point ago

So by the time I got on my banana board, I was. . . I was tripping balls pretty hard.

[–]godonskis2 0 points1 point ago

babe wait. babe. No babe wait. BABE. BAAAAAAABBBEEEEE

[–]Lavaswimmer 0 points1 point ago

"There is no tool in this pool."

[–]PartisanDrinkTank 12 points13 points ago

Spirit animal bottle-nose dolphin

[–]asksredditquestions 84 points85 points ago

Literally one of the funniest movies ever. Very much slapstick humor but with an incredible replay value for the 12 year in all of us. I really really really wish Lonely Island would do another movie.

[–]mahchefai 11 points12 points ago

What movie?

[–]UlquiorraSchiffer 23 points24 points ago

[–]TheDanSandwich 7 points8 points ago

Cool beans.

[–]Volden 1 point2 points ago

Literally

[–]LettuceD 1 point2 points ago

MacGruber is a Lonely Island movie...

[–]Dominiking 1 point2 points ago

That's SNL.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DCMFDOOM 14 points15 points ago

It was nothing like Wayne's World.

[–]feedmestraycat 41 points42 points ago

Cool beans.

[–]Funky_Cereal54 20 points21 points ago

Cool beans.

[–]asksredditquestions 19 points20 points ago

Cccccc coool coool

[–]Funky_Cereal54 16 points17 points ago

Cool beans.

[–]AsianZensation 12 points13 points ago

cool beans

[–]DRphoenix99 11 points12 points ago

Kewl beeeens

[–]Albino_Polarbear 7 points8 points ago

Coooool Beeeeanns

[–]mpike19 8 points9 points ago

cool beans?

[–]JacWHB 12 points13 points ago

COOL BEANS!

[–]ZacharyZacherson 10 points11 points ago

So...Cool beans?

[–]VividRedemption 8 points9 points ago

Yeah. Cool beans.

[–]Those_guys 5 points6 points ago

[–]dan123md 9 points10 points ago

want to see a picture of my dead dad? he's super dead!

[–]dudewithanissue 7 points8 points ago

This is one of my favorite movies of all time. Favorite scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6t-eEbgvyvI

[–]reverendrambo 7 points8 points ago

"Pools are perfect for holding water, man"

[–]thekingtg 22 points23 points ago

I'm rod and I like I party

[–]dan123md 22 points23 points ago

Hi I'm Dave, and I like to party

[–]dan123md 20 points21 points ago

Dave, I just said that I like to party, so why don't you do something else?

[–]dan123md 20 points21 points ago

Hi I am Dave, and I am the stuntman!

[–]dan123md 19 points20 points ago

You know what? Let's move on! Rico, you're up!

[–]dan123md 19 points20 points ago

Hi! I am Rico, and I like to party!

[–]dan123md 16 points17 points ago

Rico, what did I just say to dave?

[–]dan123md 18 points19 points ago

Hi I like to party I'm Rod!

[–]dan123md 18 points19 points ago

NO, you're kevin!

[–]dan123md 21 points22 points ago

Right, I'm kevin... I party

[–]mitt-romney 7 points8 points ago

My name is Buck, and I like to party.

[–]ThePartyJesus 6 points7 points ago

My name is Kevin, and I also like to party.

[–]foreverofbff 11 points12 points ago

No Kevin I know for a fact you do not party!

[–]thatoneguy889 1 point2 points ago

My name is Rico, and I'm the stuntman.

[–]DRphoenix99 5 points6 points ago

Only I can party Kevin! Choose something else

[–]dastevonader 2 points3 points ago

NO! YOU'RE KEVIN

[–]sraolson 36 points37 points ago

None of my friends or family think this movie is funny except me. I think it's hilarious. I hate everyone I know.

[–]DTX120 3 points4 points ago

To be fair, I had to watch it twice before I began to appreciate it.

[–]sraolson 4 points5 points ago

That's how I felt about Tropic Thunder. I thought it was stupid as hell the first time...every time since then..funniest thing ever.

[–]hsertich 1 point2 points ago

hmm i'll have to rewatch tropic thunder then cause I'm in the same situation haha I think that movie is so dumb, but i have only seen it once

[–]wasdy1 4 points5 points ago

Great movie, my friends all hated it. It is hilarious though. Tom Cruise in his best role ever.

[–]sraolson 3 points4 points ago

It might stay dumb for you, I'm not promising anything. But when I came back to it with lower expectations and started picking up on all the subtle jokes...I thought it was funny as hell.

[–]VoodooAK 1 point2 points ago

I couldn't stop laughing when I got to the part where he falls down the mountain side.

[–]sraolson 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so hard at that I almost puked! Probably the funniest falling scene in any movie.

[–]jkr801 0 points1 point ago

[–]jackcatalyst 0 points1 point ago

Hmmmm, suspicious.

[–]Hazzat 3 points4 points ago

I'm not sure if their blank post was intentional, but they were linking to this: http://imgur.com/HKmZJ

[–]Drauul 4 points5 points ago

This movie has the best fucking ending of any movie ever. In life.

[–]lospinas 4 points5 points ago

May your hammer be mighty!

Ultimate punch!

[–]blacktoise 1 point2 points ago

Gods of waaar!

[–]zackerrh 4 points5 points ago

I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day! You gonna bring out the demons in me?!

[–]black_thai_affair 4 points5 points ago

"I give the old man a week."

"Really insensitive, Bob."

[–]hsertich 1 point2 points ago

I remember not hearing that line until probably the 10th time I'd seen the movie. Made it sooo much better hahaha

[–]millenniumdoug 4 points5 points ago

This'll be bouncin' around the internet like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.

[–]flargoo 7 points8 points ago

No, that is Hot Rod trying to talk to girls.

[–]killzy707 9 points10 points ago

Actually it's a picture.

[–]mitt-romney 5 points6 points ago

Actually it's a computer screen.

[–]killzy707 8 points9 points ago

Atoms

[–]killyourego 5 points6 points ago

Photons

[–]friendlymaniac 0 points1 point ago

Energy and Mass.

[–]yarmulke 2 points3 points ago

Science.

[–]killzy707 1 point2 points ago

Boom!

We recreated the big bang.

[–]BillytheGoatFucker 2 points3 points ago

no this is patrick

[–]ThePrettyOne 0 points1 point ago

No, this is theprettyone.

[–]koom 0 points1 point ago

Do I have to be that guy? What movie is this?

[–]Jaqen_Hghar_ 2 points3 points ago

[–]21000 2 points3 points ago

Actually its not very hard to give compliment to a girl once in a while. She will be thankful.

[–]nastyp1 2 points3 points ago

Gods of WARRRRRRRR

[–]Evanneo 1 point2 points ago

MAY YOUR HAMMER BE MIGHTY.

[–]Komplete_Bullshit 5 points6 points ago

"Those abs are so flat!"

What?

"I said you're so fat, fuck you and your poor hearing!!!"

[–]xMNxGutz 0 points1 point ago

I watched this movie last night

[–]Corrral -1 points0 points ago

Nailed it.

[–]savethebs 1 point2 points ago

I literally just saw this on comedy central as I read this post, that was kinda awesome.

[–]smithoski 0 points1 point ago

This is on tv right now!

[–]jcarrie1 0 points1 point ago

The best part about this is that it is currently on Comedy Central RIGHT NOW

[–]Delicious_Dev 1 point2 points ago

I'm rod and i like to party!

[–]petercallahan 1 point2 points ago

It gave me an idea : I had to do this : http://viewrz.com/en/mashup/P126/

[–]gpl999 0 points1 point ago

This is on right now comedy central

[–]djpl16 1 point2 points ago

[–]Eze421 0 points1 point ago

Love Hot Rod. Here's my favorite clip: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4FZaHvR9J4c

[–]hammerheads220 0 points1 point ago

Watching this on Comedy Central right now

[–]Jessicaquinn 0 points1 point ago

I just watched this like 5 minutes ago.

[–]SuperHorribleGaming 0 points1 point ago

Hot Rod's the best movie

[–]lohkie -1 points0 points ago

I too watch comedy central

[–]n3rvousninja 0 points1 point ago

I just saw this while Hot Rod was playing on my TV. Upvote for you sir

[–]Nebakanezzer 0 points1 point ago

[–]TheDroopy 0 points1 point ago

"No I love the, uh, air"

[–]GDMFusername 0 points1 point ago

This made me think about how much girls really enjoy being complimented. I remember a few years ago I made an off the cuff remark to one of my co-workers that she was a pleasure to be around and that she was my favorite person to work with. Her face turned red, she smiled and got all flustered and thanked me in the most sincere tone. I think she almost teared up. If that had been me I'd probably would have said, "Yeah, you too." and gone about my business. Women are different.

[–]miro93 0 points1 point ago

reddit needs more hot rod

[–]Armadyll 0 points1 point ago

My trying to talk to girls*

[–]TicklezPanda 0 points1 point ago

Rotten Tomatoes had no mercy on this movie. I thought it was hilarious.

[–]lolzsupbrah 0 points1 point ago

Try this "You're pretty" "What did you say?" "I just said that you're pretty and wondering if you're free Friday night. Figured we can try the new (insert new restaurant name here) I hear pretty good things."

See, is it really that hard to talk to girls? No, its not

[–]Tashrad 0 points1 point ago

The hword is hwhiskey

[–]nintendo1614 0 points1 point ago

REEEEEPOOOSSSTTTT

[–]rikashiku 0 points1 point ago

geez, the amount of times this is reposted, I should start reposting it.

[–]fauxhipster -1 points0 points ago

just discovered this Jem on Netflix this weekend.

[–]JordanFromSales 0 points1 point ago

It's a good movie but it's still a repost.

[–]gredreen 0 points1 point ago

Story of my life.

[–]AvalonMystics 0 points1 point ago

Upvotes for Hot Rod

[–]Davey_Disapproves -3 points-2 points ago

Enough with the "I'm socially awkward/bad with girls /a beta male" circlejerk. We get it already.

[–]alexispetznik -2 points-1 points ago

i saw this on Reddit about a month or two ago, still found it SLIGHTLY amusing

[–]seconddealer -1 points0 points ago