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1749
1750

A message to the soda machine re-stocker: (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT

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[–]BlatantConservative 30 points31 points ago

I like the obvious warning sticker

[–]rcktkng 51 points52 points ago

Fun fact: according to this article, as of 2009 between 3-4 people die a year from vending machines falling on them in the US. Whereas the wikipedia page on shark attacks says that only ~1 person dies in the US from shark attacks.

Vending machines: sharks of the land.

[–]BlatantConservative 20 points21 points ago

Never heard of anyone dying from a vending machine, but I have a friend who was trapped in one for four hours when he was four

EDIT: she

[–]rcktkng 10 points11 points ago

A vending machine? Or one of those crane games? Because apparently the latter happens much more often than you might think.

[–]BlatantConservative 20 points21 points ago

A vending machine. She crawled inside and started eating things, her parents couldn't find her for like half an hour.

[–]rcktkng 20 points21 points ago

That's actually kind of hilarious. My first reaction upon finding my child like that would be to laugh hysterically, and then I'd freak out and try to figure out how to get them out.

[–]BlatantConservative 11 points12 points ago

She wasn't in any actual danger. The parents were coolheaded enough to realize that. But they had to call the fire department

[–]greenfan033 7 points8 points ago

Couldn't they have called the vending company who has keys? My dad works for a vending company and they always have someone 'on call' to fix machines and what not day and night. They get called and respond right away.

[–]BlatantConservative 5 points6 points ago

I dunno. I was like eight

[–]Dreamwaltzer 11 points12 points ago

but I have a friend who was trapped in one for four hours

I was like eight

I'm on to you.

[–]Scarecrow398 3 points4 points ago

Or alternatively,

  • break window
  • check for cuts
  • walk away whistling with arm fulls of chocolate.

[–]Fromps 3 points4 points ago

I would've started buying things above her and telling her to catch them.

[–]temudgin2 3 points4 points ago

until the screw that turns to drop the food pokes her eye out.

[–]izon514 1 point2 points ago

Actually, four out of five people are crushed to death by vending machines every day.

[–]darkscout 5 points6 points ago

To be fair vending machines are just defending themselves. Sharks usually do it unprovoked.

If you get yourself killed by a vending machine there's probably a very good chance you started it.

[–]emlgsh 0 points1 point ago

Relevant.

[–]ChiperSoft 0 points1 point ago

Also Relevant

[–]Indoorsman 0 points1 point ago

Jawesome.

[–]FrankWolf86 1 point2 points ago

Sharks should be named the "asshole of the sea".

[–]mflourishes 75 points76 points ago

Some people just want to watch the world burn...

[–]PartyBusGaming 96 points97 points ago

...calories.

[–]Ragnalypse 9 points10 points ago

Drinking diet soda doesn't burn any calories.

[–]adrianmonk 6 points7 points ago

I'm going to say it actually burns a few, though not a lot. For one thing, there's the small amount of physical work involved in going to get the soda, drinking it, etc. Two, it's usually cold, and your body will have to burn a few calories to maintain its internal temperature. Three, it usually contains caffeine, which increases your metabolism a bit.

[–]Amonkeyiwishwasi1 0 points1 point ago

The fake sugar in diet coke gets converted by your body into a chemical similar to formaldehyde causing liver damage and also kidney damage.

[–]adrianmonk 0 points1 point ago

Um, I'm pretty sure damaging the liver requires calories. I mean, it doesn't just happen magically.

Seriously though, I'm not convinced on the aspartame is harmful thing. I haven't actually seen any scientific evidence to back that up. And I've looked, because I drink a fair bit of diet soda, and if aspartame really is harmful, I need to know.

[–]ambiguousallegiance 2 points3 points ago

That's why the cherry coke is in the diet coke dispenser.

[–]you_sir_are_wrong 0 points1 point ago

  • extra caffeine

[–]NZZQ 1 point2 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/UnJiH.jpg

[–]themoop78 -1 points0 points ago

Or maybe just dip their balls in stuff.

I commend the OP for creating achievable goals for himself.

[–]IHateHumans 7 points8 points ago

Could've been worse...

He could've replaced all the Coke with Pepsi.

[–]L2_Confu 2 points3 points ago

Are you referring to the scene in Little Nicky where Adam Sandler does just that?

[–]NeedAWittyName -1 points0 points ago

Or, even worse, RC Cola.

[–]IHateHumans -2 points-1 points ago

Hey buddy, RC Cola isn't that bad. Pepsi is way worse, IMO.

[–]NeedAWittyName 2 points3 points ago

Huh, I've honestly never met anyone that liked it. To each his own.

[–]TwoHands -2 points-1 points ago

I agree. The hierarchy (for me) is Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, followed by Cherry Coke, Followed by Coke, Followed by Vernors, Followed by RC Cola, Followed by Pepsi Clear, Followed by Pepsi Blue, Followed by Pepsi.

[–]AK40Sarah 0 points1 point ago

I hate coke. It's like carbonated molasses; it makes my teeth hurt.

[–]whiskeyonsunday 6 points7 points ago

Apparently this is a common problem, because it happened to me as well.

[–]MightyGamera 12 points13 points ago

I vanted orange!

[–]harsh2k5 3 points4 points ago

IT GAVE ME LEMON-LIME!

[–]dnew 2 points3 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXJmaubJSu0

[–]OCELLARIS_CLOWNING 4 points5 points ago

I hope that God is real, if only so that this soda machine re-stocker may be . . . smitten? Sounds better than smited so I'm sticking with it!

[–]busche916 2 points3 points ago

Smitten is correct, yes.

[–]ChiperSoft 4 points5 points ago

Smote

[–]Mister_Newling 1 point2 points ago

Well you can be smitten with love... but not smitten in the context you are using it.

[–]Keviny1 7 points8 points ago

I actually fill vending machines in hospitals and it is honestly very easy to mix up what flavor goes in which column. There is no markings or indications on the inside of the machine so you have to go by what's in the other columns and compare it to the buttons on the front. So if more then a couple of columns are empty it's gonna be a bad time.

Source: I'm a vender

[–]RNRSaturday 13 points14 points ago

Sorry, but I grew up filling vending machines and did so until I was about 25 (my dad owns a vending company), and you have to be really not paying attention to fill it wrong.

[–]RNRSaturday 8 points9 points ago

TL;DR. My dad owns a vending company. AMA.

[–]Rainb0wcrash99 0 points1 point ago

Ok then can i have the code that gives you free snacks?

[–]DrMonocle 0 points1 point ago

Does the building owner get a cut of the sales or do you pay a flat fee for the space?

[–]SirKeyboardCommando 4 points5 points ago

If you always refill the same machines, why don't you add your own labels on the inside?

[–]Keviny1 3 points4 points ago

Im not sure about other places but we change the variety in out machine often. If we notice one item is not selling at certain places we put something else in instead. And a while back I remember we could not get diet Pepsi caffeine free in so we replaced them with other products. Now saying that it would still make more sense to put a sticker on the inside and write what's in it and scratch it off if changed. So you are correct that that would be a smart thing to do

[–]SirKeyboardCommando 8 points9 points ago

Better yet, get some place to print up some of those thin magnets with the various brands. That way you can just move them around to whatever column the cans go in.

[–]ChiperSoft 3 points4 points ago

Or just, you know, use sticky notes

[–]Exzentriker 5 points6 points ago

But that would be so low tech.

Use small LED displays instead.

[–]Qw3rtyP0iuy 1 point2 points ago

How do you get the LEDs? You make a machine which you press a button and the selected LED comes out of it. Then you have no more problems.

[–]adrianmonk 0 points1 point ago

Crazy idea, but maybe the buttons you push on the front of the machine could also light up a light inside the machine, in the corresponding column, when you hit the button. Of course, you'd still have to hit the button, but it would be easier to be sure you knew which button corresponded to which column.

[–]JeffK22 0 points1 point ago

And a while back I remember we could not get diet Pepsi caffeine free in so we replaced them with other products.

Let me start this by saying that I like Pepsi slightly less than Coke. Let me finish this by saying that if caffeine-free Diet Coke is nasty (and it is), caffeine-free Diet Pepsi sounds like Satan's urine.

[–]KRelic 0 points1 point ago

Most soda vending machines have a button on the main board you push that puts the machine in program mode. Then you can use the selection buttons to program which of the buttons dispense from what column.

Source: I worked for Coca-Cola for a year and a half in Full Service Vending (Driving a panel truck full of 20oz bottle cases.)

[–]saaaaad_panda 0 points1 point ago

Sorry but that doesn't sound difficult at all man.

[–]Keviny1 2 points3 points ago

No I agree, it's not difficult but it can be easily mixed up if your just filling and not paying attention.

[–]saaaaad_panda -4 points-3 points ago

My point is it's such a mindless task it almost seems impossible to pay that little attention.

[–]Keviny1 4 points5 points ago

It is a mindless task, so wouldn't that mean it is very easy to be distracted and not pay attention?

[–]Ozzy7 0 points1 point ago

Old, but still funny.

[–]yroc12345 1 point2 points ago

This one is very old in internet time. I am sure many are seeing it for the first time, and I don't mind that it was submitted here, but I remember seeing this via stumbleupon 4 or so years ago. Even then the comments then were about how old it was.

[–]Ozzy7 1 point2 points ago

Oh yeah, I saw it on Digg (remember them?) back in like 2006 or 2007'ish, well before I migrated over to reddit.

I don't have any stinks against reposts. This one's a nice relic that deserves its own retelling from time to time.

[–]TwoHands 0 points1 point ago

It's a recurring problem, so it still resonates with people. I really wish vending machine operators could get their shit together and at least do a test-pop on every button before they leave.

[–]montalslog 0 points1 point ago

Some family friends own a small vending machine business. They refill the machines themselves once a week and are some pretty hardcore alcoholics. There's a good chance that may be the case.

[–]muffley 2 points3 points ago

At least it wasn't lemon-lime.

[–]JRSchroeder 1 point2 points ago

Story of my life, my highschool only stocked diet soda.

[–]Huntroid 1 point2 points ago

I hope for your sake that you dipped your balls in the diet.

[–]carbonvader 1 point2 points ago

Suddenly want a cherry Pepsi

[–]BillyQuiets 1 point2 points ago

I hope the soda re-stocker goes for the long troll. Restock it with Diet Dr. Pepper, then Diet Mt. Dew the next week, and so on. OP would never see Cherry Coke in the machine again.

[–]sleeper141 -2 points-1 points ago

Dear God...I can't even imagine.

[–]sidoh 0 points1 point ago

The reverse is worse, I think. Of course, I say that because I'm pre-diabetic. It happened to me once. I think I gave it to a student.

[–]Franco_DeMayo 1 point2 points ago

This happened to me with the vanilla coke slot. That night I learned that while bourbon and vanilla coke is awesomely delicious, bourbon and diet coke tastes like twelve buckets of ass.

[–]cowpunter 1 point2 points ago

Moldy ass.

[–]Franco_DeMayo 0 points1 point ago

Precisely. And to think that my best friend's drink of choice is 151 and diet coke. I'm convinced his taste buds are wired wrong.

[–]JeffK22 1 point2 points ago

If you're drinking 151, taste buds ain't coming into play.

[–]Franco_DeMayo 0 points1 point ago

No arguments here...whenever he convinces me to try a sip of his beverage (always telling me "No, this one is really weak, you'll like it"), all I taste is 80% drunk and 20% sugar free sphincter juice.

[–]Mike12344321 0 points1 point ago

i would have poured the entire bottle into the coin recepticle

[–]that057guy -1 points0 points ago

And then there's those classy fuckwits who drink cherry coke. I haven't seen a machine with that shit in it for years. Seen Pepsi Clear more recently. I guess you gotta do something to counteract all the insulin you inject.

[–]coattails 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure nobody in this thread makes mistakes mistakes at work ever.

[–]RonMexico69 -1 points0 points ago

they're both gross

[–]PotatoDonki 1 point2 points ago

This is so old I almost forgot it was old. Close call, that one.

[–]slitrobo 0 points1 point ago

They sometimes put Sierra Mist in random places in the machine in my building.

[–]MisterDings 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else read : A message to the soda machine re-stocker: dip my balls in it. ?

[–]cool_eddy 0 points1 point ago

I don't know who the sick bastard was, but the guy who filed up the only machine at my workplace filled every single slot with dasani water. I was burned on Mountain Dew so many times...

[–]Carithian 0 points1 point ago

He should try putting jolt in the diet dispenser

[–]nebbie13 0 points1 point ago

I recently wrote a similar note to the Coke machine stocker for replacing the Diet Coke with Coke Zero.

[–]L2_Confu 0 points1 point ago

Love how a Christian's first move is always to damn someone to hell. How very forgiving and Jesus-like!

[–]pikmin293 0 points1 point ago

hahaha lol! true dat, only an evil one can do that

[–]FullMoon1108 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he is sending you a message?

[–]Its_Frosty 1 point2 points ago

I wanted a cherry coke from the vending machine at my work. An orange fanta came out. I cried for a little while.

[–]gangy86 0 points1 point ago

Better than a purple fanta

[–]StrawberryJamal 0 points1 point ago

No, OP. I would not reccomend dipping your balls in diet coke, cherry coke, vending machines, or vending machine restockers. Especially ones this evil.

[–]9460510 0 points1 point ago

he printed it.

[–]CreamyGoodnss 0 points1 point ago

First World Problems...

But I totally feel ya. This stocker better watch himself

[–]chuck_c 0 points1 point ago

I think we have the same soda machine re-stocker.

[–]AUS_1706_bPd 0 points1 point ago

Haha, Kudos to the re-stocker, that's brilliant. XD

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]cdm137 1 point2 points ago

enjoy ur diabeetus

[–]KingSwagamemnon -1 points0 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Soda machine problems 54coms 1151pts 3mos pics
Dear soda-machine restocker: 160coms 561pts 2yrs offbeat

source: karmadecay

[–]Roweanos212 -2 points-1 points ago

REPOST

[–]marthy20 0 points1 point ago

Maybe the vending machine stocker is sending his own subtle message about the health and well being of you and your fellow coworkers. Instead of saying "eat a salad, you fat blobs", he chose a more nuanced approach. Where one might say, "take a q-tip and clean out the bottomless chasms known as your navels for once, you enormous collection of smelly Jabbas", he took a respectful tone. I applaud him for his concern for you and your coworkers. Such altruism is rare in the soda vending machine restocker guy profession these days

[–]muppetti -2 points-1 points ago

Way to go, soda machine re-stocker. Cherry Coke is disgusting.

[–]heyamberlynne -5 points-4 points ago

I have been drinking diet soda for 3 years now and the thought of drinking something that contains 250 calories and 70g of sugar disgusts me. I don't drink calories anymore.

Not trying to preach to you about health or anything like that, just commenting my first thought when reading this.

[–]stonedchef 1 point2 points ago

enjoy your brain tumor amberlynne

[–]heyamberlynne -1 points0 points ago

Two days ago I quit smoking and started drinking only water because I found out I have gum disease. I get really spooked about medical problems.

Guess I'll have to get an MRI now :[

Just read This

[–]cowpunter 0 points1 point ago

Good luck getting a doctor to schedule an MRI because you drink diet soda.

[–]heyamberlynne 0 points1 point ago

I couldnt afford it anyways.

[–]redditsuxdicks 1 point2 points ago

I agree..... Diet Coke is better than Cherry Coke any fucking day..... Those diabetics and fat slobs can cry all you want.

[–]heyamberlynne 0 points1 point ago

Woah woah, I hope this was sarcasm. I was in no way implying that people who drink regular pop arev "diabetics and fat slobs"

[–]redditsuxdicks 1 point2 points ago

"pop"..... You must be from the midwest.

[–]heyamberlynne 0 points1 point ago

Ohio :/ I try to catch myself and switch it to "soda" before anyone notices my terrible midwestern curse.

[–]kingofnynex -4 points-3 points ago

eat shit and die faggot

[–]heyamberlynne -1 points0 points ago

Thanks. You, too?

[–]kingofnynex 0 points1 point ago

i was just commenting my first thought when reading your comment

[–]the_television -4 points-3 points ago

It even shows a website where you should post complaints. Now you just look like a douche.

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