this post was submitted on
1,021 points (67% like it)
1,962 up votes 941 down votes

funny

subscribe2,659,743 readers

8,870 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 78 comments

[–]FalconOne 41 points42 points ago

I remember when I was married, I had a few conversations like that. I found a way of ending these type of situations by saying: "I love you hon, You will look good no matter what you do, just don't do x. But I'm going to bed now, see you in the morning"

That type of conclusion seamed to work. Just wasn't very fun if it was 2pm. Laying there in bed for 16 hours sleeping. Wait... No. that was fun, thats the best sleep i've ever gotten.

[–]woo545 30 points31 points ago

I remember when I was married

I think this is the key part of the advice this guy is proffering.

[–]FalconOne 4 points5 points ago

Key advice i offer from the end of my marriage, dont marry a whore.

[–]c4lmlikeab0mb 42 points43 points ago

I'm drunk, but this is the turth'1

Edit- I'll live with the shame.

[–]PointPruven 12 points13 points ago

I here ya. Drunk video gaming is fun. Drunk partying is fun. Drunk redditing is fun. Drunk commenting seems like fun until tomorrow.

[–]c4lmlikeab0mb 10 points11 points ago

I regret nothing. Whoa my comment says I wrote that 6 hours ago. I thought I was in bed 6 hours ago.

[–]PointPruven 5 points6 points ago

hungover remembering is not fun

[–]Sir_ImP 3 points4 points ago

Have a comic deja-vue. I had this conversation with my gf two days ago. She ended up being mad at me cause i didn't have an opinion.

[–]Vitaminpwn 1 point2 points ago

The moral of the story is "Have a fucking opinion." He never says anything, just listens for some queue from her to do what she wants. Maybe you like having a lapdog for a partner, but most people want an equal, or better.

[–]SergeantTibbs 6 points7 points ago

"Cue." A queue is a line, like for an amusement ride.

[–]DonPellegrino 3 points4 points ago

What if your opinion is "do whatever makes you happy"?

[–]Sir_ImP 0 points1 point ago

Women don't want/get that. They want input that originated from you. Don't ask me why. They just do.

[–]DiscordianStooge 3 points4 points ago

I like when my wife's hair is long. I also know that for her, long hair is a pain in the ass to deal with, so she cuts it when it gets a certain length. I generally like her short hair as well, just not as much as longer hair.

So, is my liking the look of long hair more important than my desire for my wife to be happy? I have an opinion. My opinion is that either way has a benefit for me.

Also, I'm not a lapdog for not telling you what to do with your body. If I deferred my own haircut to your desires, you could call be a lapdog.

"but most people want an equal, or better."

Most people want someone who can make independant decisions too.

[–]saihenjin -1 points0 points ago

Why does the hair even matter that much? Long hair, short hair, no hair, whatever. Its superficial. Its not like i'm being asked my opinion on our finances or funeral arrangements or insurance or any other thing which actually makes a difference.

[–]hexhead -1 points0 points ago

having to make up an opinion about irrelevant shit with insufficient data is required for a lot of human interaction.

"you're a spineless jellyfish of a man if you don't have an opinion about the effects of the banana trade imbalance between mozambique and togo circa 1973 on the habitat of the star shaped ziggle."

[–]ScottTheDick 1 point2 points ago

No idea why you got downvoted, maybe what you said hit too close to home for a lot of redditors. I completely agree with you though. My wife pushes me to be a better person, just as I do to her. We have differing opinions about a lot of things (even big things: politics, religion, etc) but we're none the worse for wear because of it.

Also, if I don't have an opinion or I don't give a shit I say so. If it's important to her she'll say so and I have enough respect for her and our relationship that we'll talk about it. If it's not important she respects me and our relationship enough to not try to force a fight out of it.

[–]Sir_ImP 0 points1 point ago

If you get asked questions like that twenty times a day, you tend to stop being opinionated.

Also, am i not freaking awesome for liking my partner for who she is and not what she looks like. She's not 12 years old and i'm not her mom. She's an adult and should chose what she wants to do with herself by herself.

The question " would you like my hair if it was short" should sprout from a desire from herself to have short hair. Not from a desire to look like i want her to look. In that last case she would be my lap-dog!

[–]Bozotclown 1 point2 points ago

Lapdog? He doesn't give a shit about the fucking hair. Being a lapdog is making up opinions about worthless shit to please people.

[–]Zangalanga_Dingdong 6 points7 points ago

There's nothing I can say to this.

[–]makesureimjewish 4 points5 points ago

"I think it'd look nice short, and it'll grow back if you cut it and hate it. But if you want to keep it long i still think its hot".

The end.

[–]Battletooth 4 points5 points ago

"So which does that mean you want me to cut it? Or leave it short? Just tell me which one you think."

It's never that easy, friend.

[–]makesureimjewish 1 point2 points ago

Yes it is. I'm not guessing here, I've been through this :)

"Cut it short. I would want to see that on you".

And if I get any reprimand for not liking the current style I just say "baby I feel like your putting me in a non-winnable position". If you're still getting pressure at this point it doesn't sound like a very mature situation

[–]wingedkitten 11 points12 points ago

To women this should be titled "Men..."

[–]destructormuffin 2 points3 points ago

Yeah but men don't care.

[–]adruva 13 points14 points ago

But right from the start this guy never fucking answered her question... How hard is it to tell her whether or not you think she should cut her hair?

[–]Battletooth 20 points21 points ago

Because he doesn't care.

I've been with my wife for 7 years. I've seen long hair. Short hair. In between hair. Brown hair. Blonde hair. Slightly dyed red tipped hair. Straight hair. Curly hair. Slightly wavy have. Her bangs. Long bangs.

I've seen it all and she looks great in everything and I just. Don't. Care.

I dot care how her hair is but she still pulls exactly this comic.

Even direct answers from the start don't work. She asks because she wants it one way and wants to see if I also do. It's often times "Should it be long or short?" or "x or y?" so I don't know which style she is thinking of that she wants. She wants me to think that what she's thinking of looks nice without telling me what she thinking of so she knows I genuinely think it's. Ice and not just agreeing to everything she is saying.

She can pull of short hair very nicely just as she can pull off long hair. I've never seen her have a bad hair day. I wish she would just choose what makes her happy the most because that's all that I care about in the end.

[–]destructormuffin 5 points6 points ago

I wish she would just choose what makes her happy the most because that's all that I care about in the end.

God dammit that's really sweet.

[–]DiscordianStooge 1 point2 points ago

If this isn't your feeling about everything as inconsequential as hair length, you're not in love at all.

[–]M1chaM -1 points0 points ago

Then just tell her that, if she can't understand (i'm sorry to be blunt) then she fail as a human being.

[–]DoctorVainglorious 0 points1 point ago

Relevant analogy: "What kind of candles should I put on this delicious cake? Thin ones? Red ones? Spiral-y ones? the kind that re-light themselves when you try to blow them out?" Answer: "Doesn't matter. I have cake."

[–]PaWriter 3 points4 points ago

FALSE. Never answer the question. She obviously wants to cut it. If he says "don't cut it," he's in for a long afternoon of heckling until he gives in....

But THAT'S where she gets him. The minute he says "cut it," he'll get a pouty face and "you mean you don't like it long?"

[–]readforit -1 points0 points ago

here is my advice: If you end up with a childish insecure bitch, then tell her what you think and end the relationship.

A lifetime of this bullshit is hard to handle

[–]PointPruven -1 points0 points ago

Truer cartoons have never been made.

[–]Sacoud 1 point2 points ago

oh my god.. I love my girlfriend but she does this all the time. What do you think of these curtains? Yeah they're great. You're just saying that.... no.. I really like them... I don't believe you...etc etc.

I fucking hate curtain shopping, I don't give a shit I couldn't tell you what colour the downstairs ones are now. That's right... SHE DIDNT EVEN BUY THE FUCKING CURTAINS.

[–]DoctorVainglorious 0 points1 point ago

This is the kind of thing she needs a Sassy Gay Friend for.

[–]Austin199610 1 point2 points ago

At least you waited a month to repost...

[–]SmackmYackm 4 points5 points ago

I've never experienced this kind of conversation unless she was just plain crazy.

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 3 points4 points ago

I use to go through this kind of thing, till my girlfriend started the chemo. I wish we had these types of conversations still.

Edit: kemo to chemo

[–]Reddit_ruined_memes 3 points4 points ago

kemo

...chemo?

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 1 point2 points ago

Yes, that's how we text it my bad.

[–]acooper93 1 point2 points ago

And then it goes to "I don't care"

[–]habwin 0 points1 point ago

hilarious

[–]your-stalker-gf 0 points1 point ago

Honestly, I don't really care what my hair looks like. I mean, it's hair. It'll grow back... what's to fret over?

[–]Illuminox 1 point2 points ago

[–]Vexacion 0 points1 point ago

If I actually have an opinion they always go with the opposite. In this case I really don't like short hair styles on women. If I would have soundly said no to cutting it short she would have responded something like 'hmm, well I think I want to try short'.

They always know what they are gonna do they just want to hear confirmation of their choices. Hearing an opinion against their decision doesn't change their decision.

[–]mangleot 1 point2 points ago

See, what you say there is "I like it long." Is she says, but I want it short you have an out by saying "I've never seen it short, I might like that more, let's try it." Done.

[–]DoctorVainglorious 0 points1 point ago

That's cute that you think you can win. Her response: "So you WANT me to cut it short?"

[–]ChaseAlmighty 0 points1 point ago

The proper answer to this is "I don't give a fuck".

[–]jnethery 1 point2 points ago

Is it really that hard to give your honest opinion?

[–]steampunk_ninja 0 points1 point ago

We can't give an opinion if we don't have one. I personally don't give two shits about anyone's hair.

[–]mdicori 0 points1 point ago

"Hair length doesn't matter to me. You could be bald for all I care." Was that hard to say? LIE IF YOU HAVE TO!

[–]firefae83 -2 points-1 points ago

After his first answer, "So, you have no strong opinion on my hair?" "No." "Okay, cool, so I'll just do whatever I want with it."

Why are some women so damn high-maintenance?

[–]uncooperativecheese -2 points-1 points ago

I love being gay.

[–]DiscordianStooge 0 points1 point ago

You've never been asked, "What shirt should I wear?"

[–]sweetpotatosaurus -2 points-1 points ago

No one is actually like this.

[–]smokeshack -2 points-1 points ago

In the future, think about what she's feeling, not what she's saying. She's really saying, "I'm feeling insecure about my hairstyle specifically and appearance generally. Reassure me."

[–]Xenophyophore -1 points0 points ago

Because clearly humans are telepathic.

[–]Nwolfe 1 point2 points ago

This is why dating emotionally unstable and/or insecure people is annoying.

[–]smokeydesperado -4 points-3 points ago

I call those girls.

[–]usedtobeadinosaur -1 points0 points ago

The stick figure in the cartoon had to be more forceful about his opinion.

[–]Sacoud 1 point2 points ago

He isn't hiding his opinion he just doesn't care. Forcing people to have opinions on insignificent things is silly.

[–]purplepuddy -2 points-1 points ago

Women Logic: The constant irrational fear that someone is implying something.

[–]Decyde 0 points1 point ago

My ex and I use to get into this argument all the time. To put an end to it I would just say how many times have I asked your opinion before I do anything?

She then cut her hair short and regretted it for 5 months until it grew back and blamed me.

[–]lamer5799 -2 points-1 points ago

My girl friend pulled this first date with what i thought she sould ware. I steped on every mine :(

[–]reltne 3 points4 points ago

are you seven years old?

[–]Dougie555 1 point2 points ago

Sent this to my girlfriend thinking it would be funny. She defended the girl in it.

[–]Eurysthenes -4 points-3 points ago

This is whats wrong with males nowadays.

Tell your fucking women what YOU want; the good women are always submissive.

Hell, even if your opinion pisses them off, at least you'll have some quiet time.