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top 200 commentsshow all 215

[–]illredditlater 160 points161 points ago

Reposts are forever.

[–]vgxmaster 54 points55 points ago

Actually not a bad way to put it.

"Memories are forever." -The Giver

"Reposts are forever." -Reddit.

It works, really.

[–]twinsofliberty 4 points5 points ago

Maybe it was cause I read the book in Spanish(not very fluent in it), but I felt like the book was boring.

[–]Celeodor 5 points6 points ago

I read it in 7th grade and thought the same thing. Went back and read it in 11th and liked it more.

[–]vgxmaster 2 points3 points ago

It was a pretty boring book. I liked exactly one line from it:

"Memories are forever." -The Giver

[–]Iron_tiger_of_flames 7 points8 points ago

I'm pretty sure its a fake fb post too.

[–]Lee13412 21 points22 points ago

[–]sueville -1 points0 points ago

Forever Forever

[–]failuer101 0 points1 point ago

how do you cover the names and pics?

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 102 points103 points ago

urgh I hate that phrase. "Diamonds are a girls best friend". No. They're not. Shut up. They're overrated pieces of shiny rock. Give me something fluffy to cuddle and I'll love you forever :D

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 93 points94 points ago

So you're saying that I shouldn't shave my back?

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 8 points9 points ago

Um.. yes.

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 1 point2 points ago

Hehe, ok.

[–]Polite_Werewolf 24 points25 points ago

I'm fluffy. ;)

[–]FarFromXanadu 35 points36 points ago

Name checks out. This motherfucker is polite and fluffy.

[–]Polite_Werewolf 6 points7 points ago

I'm the whole package.

[–]king_grimloc 20 points21 points ago

I'm fluffy and I love to cuddle.

[–]epicblob 13 points14 points ago

Go home, Gabriel Iglesias.

[–]MTLKareem 4 points5 points ago

My penis is fluffy

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 7 points8 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]zxo0oxz 9 points10 points ago

I can confirm that his penis is fluffy.

[–]EM12 4 points5 points ago

0_o

[–]dshaw8772 -3 points-2 points ago

I can confirm that he can confirm that his penis is indeed fluffy.

[–]pirate_chef 2 points3 points ago

They're overrated pieces of shiny rock.

They'd be cheap, too, if the prices weren't artificially inflated by the De Beers diamond cartel. The way that the public was manipulated into viewing diamonds as an integral part of the marriage ritual is pretty fascinating, too. There's a good article about it here.

[–]kazztikoko 38 points39 points ago

This post shows up every 6 months or so and it makes my brain want to crawl out my asshole every time. The original phrase reflects poorly on everyone who utters it, the commentary by the girl reflects poorly on her, the comment below reflects poorly on the guy, it reflects poorly on everyone who upvotes it. It's like a fucking Metasexism quadfecta. Every time you claim an entire gender is superior or inferior you just make yourself look like a fucking asshat.

[–]SolarFederalist 3 points4 points ago

You, I like you.

[–]Crazybay46913 1 point2 points ago

But I wonder if the guys was just being contrary to show her that sexism is easy to exhibit, but ultimately bad.

Nah, he probably is just being a asshole.

[–]Galactic777 132 points133 points ago

Yeah, I mean it's a fucking rock. I could see if it was gold because it could be used for all types of stuff, but diamonds are literally just fucking shiny rocks. A woman's best friend... -_-...

edit: Just wanted to say sorry for making a stereotypical remark about diamonds being a woman's best friend. I like the responses I'm getting from women who can see past the materialism of diamonds and the ones that are dog lovers to boot! :D

[–]palerthanrice 149 points150 points ago

It's also artificially expensive. It's not actually rare; most of the world's supply of diamonds are vaulted to keep the prices high.

[–]rokinlobster 21 points22 points ago

I hear this thrown around quite a bit, it is only a half truth. There are shitloads of diamonds that are of a quality for making cutting tools etc.. the amount of diamonds that are good enough for jewlery is much smaller, still there is major price control going on.

[–]mmarmar 8 points9 points ago

I always thought that was kind of obvious that its the useful diamonds we have lots of, but maybe it's not as obvious as I think it is. I'm a woman. Diamonds have no value to me unless they are sawing down a dangerous tree in my front lawn. Plus, I'd rather have a lab created diamond. I want something beautiful from science, not some dirty rock from Africa. Gross.

[–]teh_booth_gawd 22 points23 points ago

Will you marry me?

kneels down holding a chainsaw

[–]usernamemadetoday -1 points0 points ago

a match made in heaven

[–]awesomebbq 1 point2 points ago

A match made in... Elm Street? Where does Jason live?

[–]JaysonBlaze 0 points1 point ago

Camp crystal lake

[–]deathtokesha 0 points1 point ago

a username made in today

[–]CardboardHeatshield 2 points3 points ago

I get your point, but just fyi, they dont usually use diamond encrusted tools for cutting wood. They're more for cutting ceramics or metals.

Even then, a lot of the tools are diamond coated, which is not made from natural diamonds anyhow.

[–]HarthDerp 1 point2 points ago

Man, haven't you heard of Minecraft? coughdiamondshovelcough

[–]CardboardHeatshield 1 point2 points ago

I dont play minecraft.... :(

[–]HarthDerp 1 point2 points ago

Just jesting. Diamond-encrusted tools are the highest caliber tools in that game.

[–]rokinlobster 1 point2 points ago

I imagine people thinking of scrooge mcduck swimming in this massive vault of antwerps finest.

[–]atizzy 37 points38 points ago

Indeed. There's a diamond cartel.

[–]vernscustoms 4 points5 points ago

I think Russia released reports from a long time ago that they are sitting on more diamonds than the world combined. Something about an asteroid crashing and creating/exposing a huge amount.

[–]mochizuki 8 points9 points ago

To clarify those are industrial diamonds, the kind you find in drill bits, not the kind you find in rings.

[–]kingguru 29 points30 points ago

Aren't diamonds the hardest rock though, and therefore actually quite useful for e.g. cutting stuff?

[–]BeastKiller450 55 points56 points ago

Yes, but industrial diamonds are made in a lab.

[–]maate 162 points163 points ago

Aha! Yet another use for dogs.

Checkmate, females.

[–]VAPossum 40 points41 points ago

That one took me a minute.

[–]tracer_tong 4 points5 points ago

I still don't get it, can somebody please explain?

[–]SRaff922 8 points9 points ago

Lab, as in Labrador retriever.

[–]VAPossum 1 point2 points ago

Laboratory vs. Labrador Retriever

[–]mochizuki 0 points1 point ago

They have to be made from impact diamonds though, which are a little different from regular diamonds.

[–]kingguru -2 points-1 points ago

Ah, OK. TIL. :-)

[–]macchina 7 points8 points ago

Diamonds are the hardest metal.

Edit:

Due to extensive research done by the University of Pittsburgh, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows. Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 9000 wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 9000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles per iron, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not the hardest metal known to man.

[–]brainburger 1 point2 points ago

I am kinda Impressed that he remembered it all.

[–]b0ogi3 0 points1 point ago

Actually Diamonds are Carbon which is a non metal.

[–]gmorales87 2 points3 points ago

Only if you ignore all the metal bits.

[–]rocketman0739 -1 points0 points ago

it was a joke

[–]LukaCola -1 points0 points ago

There's actually a lot of items that are harder than diamonds, but yes, they are useful for cutting things. However, industrial diamonds are not at all pretty and are worth much much less than the gems.

[–]JonnyRichter 6 points7 points ago

I'm surprised to see no ones has corrected you by telling you they're minerals, Marie.

[–]WhipIash 15 points16 points ago

Well, to be fair, diamond is a useful material as well.

[–]Shaban_srb 29 points30 points ago

But they don't use it as one.

It just sits there around their neck doing nothing useful.

[–]silent_p 22 points23 points ago

It's just for emergencies, when they have to cut through a window or something.

[–]Shaban_srb 2 points3 points ago

I have yet to see that

[–]gmorales87 4 points5 points ago

Sampling error.

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 0 points1 point ago

Diamonds are used in saws, for cutting silicon wafers.

[–]Shaban_srb 10 points11 points ago

I will quote myself:

But they don't use it as one.

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 6 points7 points ago

Yeah, sorry, I replied to the wrong post.

[–]Shaban_srb 4 points5 points ago

It's k.

[–]No_not_the_monkey 4 points5 points ago

It always makes me happy to see people behave so civil and understanding.

[–]Shaban_srb 0 points1 point ago

Same to you.

[–]wildly_curious_1 12 points13 points ago

I'm female, and I don't give a rat's ass about diamonds. I already told my boyfriend that if he pops the question, I want a benitoite stone. It polishes up like a sapphire, it's our state gemstone, and it fluoresces under UV light. It's gorgeous, unique, and local (I used to live an hour from where it's mined--now I live three whole hours from the mines.) What could be more awesome?

[–]Golden-Calf 11 points12 points ago

That's probably not hard enough for an engagement ring. You want something of a hardness of 8+ for a ring that you plan on wearing every day. The stone will be chipped after a decade or so if the hardness isn't above 8. It's fine for earrings, necklaces, or a ring that you don't wear daily, but for a ring that's getting a lot of use it's not the best choice.

[–]SkyHawkMkIV 7 points8 points ago

What is this madness? You like a stone that fits your personality, and not just the shiniest, most expensive one? headsplode

[–]kittenkat4u 2 points3 points ago

ya, i dont want a diamond either. i'd much prefer a sapphire(still bloody expensive but more beautiful to me).

[–]Xxtesttubebabyxx -2 points-1 points ago

Quit pressuring him!!!!!!!

[–]wildly_curious_1 -1 points0 points ago

Ummm, why do you think I'm pressuring him? He was the one who brought it up! I'm 33 and we've been together for over four years. Discussing getting engaged is by no means unusual at this stage of the game.

[–]Ace4929 3 points4 points ago

Well, in theory you could sharpen a diamond to make a seemingly indestructable dagger, but of course you would need a nother diamond to do that.

[–]cheebsmagoo 1 point2 points ago

Best things in life aren't things.

[–]WineDrunk 1 point2 points ago

As a girl, I'd muchh rather have a dog than a diamond. Hands down.

[–]TypicalHaikuResponse 1 point2 points ago

Jesus Christ Marie. For the last time they are minerals for god's sakes

[–]sundogdayze 1 point2 points ago

I hate when people say diamonds are a girl's best friend. I'm a girl, I hate diamonds, I asked for an opal for my engagement ring, and I will also never live in a home without a dog. Dogs are my best friends.

[–]Snowblindyeti 0 points1 point ago

Diamonds are a lot more useful than gold... Gold is a soft metal that's pretty useless whereas I use tools made with diamonds damn near every day

[–]sickburnersalve 42 points43 points ago

Girls vs men? An advertising slogan vs an archaeological fact? This is comparing apples to car tires.

The facepalm here is watching anyone actually take sides on this.

" Man's" is human's. "Girl's" is a marketing demographic.

[–]Scarynig -3 points-2 points ago

You should host a class called how to suck the fun out of everything.

I think we're all aware not every girl in the world is obsessed with diamonds just the same as we're aware that not only men like dogs.

[–]bugses101 5 points6 points ago

Well, shit, I like diamonds and dogs!

[–]PonySteve1 0 points1 point ago

[–]Tr0llzor 40 points41 points ago

This is a win not a palm....why do people mix these up

[–]awyeauhh 25 points26 points ago

The girl was the palm. It could go either way.

[–]FahadC786 2 points3 points ago

So it's neutralised

[–]awyeauhh 0 points1 point ago

[–]AlexHeyNa 3 points4 points ago

Somewhere in there is a bisexual joke.

[–]Polite_Werewolf 4 points5 points ago

I'll look for it and get back to you.

[–]sigbox 0 points1 point ago

[–]Weedbalz -3 points-2 points ago

Do you subscribe to both? If so then why care? I don't give a shit what little words are in the corner of something I'm gonna read, chuckle, and move on from.

[–]RyanMTB 2 points3 points ago

repost

[–]Tri_Sara_Tops 6 points7 points ago

"Mans best friend" refers to HUMANS best friend. It doesn't mean man as in males.

[–]matrixman673a 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, but have you ever tried to inlay a dog into a gold ring and then wear it on your finger?

[–]VAPossum 2 points3 points ago

As a matter of fact. ಠ_ಠ

[–]willer2122 0 points1 point ago

Yes, i have. It does not work very well

[–]GlobindobinButler 0 points1 point ago

dogs are better than diamonds, unless of course you intend to sell the diamonds and get a lot of dogs, but not like a hoarder because you would use the diamond money to pay for things to care for the dogs as well as the dogs themselves :)

[–]digivolution 1 point2 points ago

This has been posted again and again and again and again.. WE GET IT. "Haha, girls are fucking stupid and men are the greatest in the world lol"

Can we fucking stop this please? Neither sex is more intelligent than the other, we're both humans. God fucking dammit this stuff makes me so mad.

[–]Underdogz 2 points3 points ago

It's funny because women are dumb.

[–]ShorttStuff 4 points5 points ago

Give me a dog any day. A diamond may last longer, but all it does is look pretty. (-__-)

[–]Okuu-Trollzy 8 points9 points ago

To be honest, I don't think diamonds look that pretty. Now, rubies, emeralds, things like that? Yeah, those are pretty.

[–]kingguru 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, but you don't have to feed your diamond or take it for a walk. I think I would be a bit too lazy to do either of that. :-)

[–]ShorttStuff -1 points0 points ago

But...think about the love!

[–]scouragestar99 0 points1 point ago

I'll still take a dog over a shiny pebble that costs 10 dogs.

[–]seouldier 3 points4 points ago

Or just admit you like the idea of someone spending a ridiculous amount of money for a piece of sparkle on your finger, regardless of the suffering involved. Just cop to being superficial and wanting to be duped by diamond companies. I think that's preferable than denouncing dogs.

Cuz, dogs, dammit. I'll take my dogs over a diamond any day.

[–]Thinkbotc 5 points6 points ago

Also diamonds are just bait for men to catch women with... as Dave chappelle said a woman's goal in life is material. A mans goal in life is a woman.

[–]kingguru 16 points17 points ago

Dave chappelle said a woman's goal in life is material. A mans goal in life is a woman.

Hehe, good quote. Reminds me of Fraiser: "How could men ever use sex to achieve anything we want? Sex is what we want!" :-)

[–]themauwinator 3 points4 points ago

GOTCHA BITCH

[–]Nathonator 9 points10 points ago

I honestly hope you are siding with the guy. Otherwise is a downvote.

[–]FreakishlyEerie 13 points14 points ago

No matter who you side with, you're still an idiot.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]WhipIash 3 points4 points ago

Why?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]InsertName78XDD 4 points5 points ago

Except diamonds are not forever. They will eventually turn into graphite.

[–]awyeauhh -2 points-1 points ago

It's just an expression...

[–]InsertName78XDD 1 point2 points ago

I know, and am aware you were not advocating it. I was just trying to share some knowledge.

[–]pirate_chef -1 points0 points ago

It's just an expression... ad campaign.

[–]Shaban_srb 0 points1 point ago

Because sarcasm.

[–]Fiskerr 1 point2 points ago

"Can you train a diamond to bring you a beer from the refrigerator?" Would also be a suitable reply.

[–]EM12 0 points1 point ago

Diamond robot

[–]BossingtonDC 4 points5 points ago

do i have to be the guy to point out that this is a repost and this guy is unoriginal? Fuck you for reposting you asshole!

[–]XxhayleesmomxX 3 points4 points ago

Like that makes any sense. I'm a girl, and I love my puppy more than diamonds

[–]defeasiblefee 0 points1 point ago

When I read her status, I really thought she was conceding that men were more intelligent.

[–]whaddupgee 2 points3 points ago

they both suck

[–]Thornnuminous 1 point2 points ago

I got a dog for my husband.

It was a good trade.

[–]1dabred -1 points0 points ago

and everybody's best friend is David Bowie

[–]thekidfromyesterday 1 point2 points ago

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that

[–]jdepps113 1 point2 points ago

[–]Yunagi 0 points1 point ago

You have the same phone as me.

[–]NaeTheBookAddict 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but you can't buy a diamond with a dog.

[–]pootedesu 0 points1 point ago

Purebred dogs go for a few thousand dollars each. Look here. I'm sure after they sell those, they can buy some diamonds.

[–]NaeTheBookAddict 1 point2 points ago

Yes, I'm sure that's true. But while only some dogs can buy diamonds, diamonds can buy most dogs.

[–]SolarFederalist 0 points1 point ago

Diamonds are over-valued.

[–]NaeTheBookAddict 0 points1 point ago

And dogs aren't?

[–]Nitzi -1 points0 points ago

I thought the first post showed that dogs are superior

[–]asldkfououhe -1 points0 points ago

someone's insecure

[–]SolarFederalist 0 points1 point ago

You mean both of them? I thought so too.

[–]WhatsaCleverUsername 0 points1 point ago

I read the blue reply in Dwight Shrutes voice. It is totally something he would say

[–]SixFtTwelve -2 points-1 points ago

Nothing in the facebook post indicated who's side she was on. For all we know, she loves dogs and thinks most girls are morons.

[–]ghosty88 0 points1 point ago

Men get the bitches (female dogs) all the time ! They're so smart.

[–]ostracisingostrich 0 points1 point ago

Diamonds are carbon that has been subjected to extremely high temperatures AND pressures for long periods of time

[–]brandonbydaleks 1 point2 points ago

I thought from the begining it was implying that the men are a more intelligent race...

[–]UnderneathTheBridge 0 points1 point ago

  1. Jewelry Store
  2. Diamond Ring
  3. Diamond Tipped Saw Blade
  4. Infiltrate Swiss Bank
  5. Break into Strong Boxes
  6. Steal Diamonds only
  7. Repeat process till enough money is procured to buy a fucking dog already.

[–]Hameed67 0 points1 point ago

super heated carbon? Wrong and wrong.

[–]SolarFederalist 0 points1 point ago

Carbon that's been subjected to extreme heat AND pressure. He is half right, but you are all wrong.

[–]Hameed67 0 points1 point ago

It's not super heated though, and yes graphite is carbon, but not all carbon is graphite. Go back to bed charlie.

[–]americanolive 1 point2 points ago

I'm a girl and I fancy both.

[–]Joedang100 1 point2 points ago

I want to upvote for the fail->win, but I want to downvote for the sexism...

[–]SolarFederalist -1 points0 points ago

So it's sexism if guy says men are more intelligent, because dogs are man's best friend. However, It's not sexism if girl says women are more intelligent, because diamonds are women's best friend.

Your logic leaves much to be desired.

[–]rockmeahmadinejad 0 points1 point ago

Your reading comprehension leaves much to be desired. Joedang100 never said that "It's not sexism if girl says women are more intelligent". Please learn to read better before you go up in arms. You're attacking people for slights you've imagined.

[–]iNKu 0 points1 point ago

What if you were a transvestite? Would your best friend be a dog covered with diamonds?

[–]Rainsura 0 points1 point ago

With that logic it is pretty equal. You could buy all of that with diamonds.

[–]RandomWhiteDudee 0 points1 point ago

this is what boosts your masculinity? pathetic.

[–]R99 0 points1 point ago

All a diamond does is look kind of cool, dogs are loving creatures. I think dogs are superior.

[–]Spicypieces 0 points1 point ago

You always use your diamonds to buy the dogs

[–]lgonzalez 0 points1 point ago

this rule is wrong if you're a redditor

[–]whale_pubes 0 points1 point ago

This isn't a facepalm..? I vote to rename this subreddit /r/somethinginvolvingfacebook.

[–]Aromaz -1 points0 points ago

Fucking repost!

[–]Infini-Bus 0 points1 point ago

It's not "Dogs are a man's best friend." it's just "Dogs are man's best friend.", the modern equivalent being "Dogs are humanity's best friend"

[–]mophair 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHA SEXISM

[–]SolarFederalist 1 point2 points ago

The girl made a sexist post and the guy made a sexist response. You are correct, SEXISM.

[–]Bazampi -2 points-1 points ago

Lol "highly intelligent"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Comrade_Ducky 6 points7 points ago

*girls who think diamonds are their best friends.

There are plenty of girls (myself included) who would take an awesome dog over a shiny stone any day.

[–]siegewolf 1 point2 points ago

Excuse me. This is the internet. There are only males on the internet.

[–]Comrade_Ducky 1 point2 points ago

Damn! You caught me!

[–]siegewolf 1 point2 points ago

Come on. Let's get you back to that kitchen. I won't give you a ticket this time, but next time you will be ticketed for your transgressions!

[–]ViolaPurpurea -1 points0 points ago

Got mad for a second. Then suddenly- a novelty account!

[–]HitlerDidNothingBad 0 points1 point ago

Not a novelty, bro

[–]IMissTheUSAS-12 -2 points-1 points ago

Repost but still one of my favorites.

[–]ViolaPurpurea -3 points-2 points ago

Yeah, diamonds are not my best friends. Cats and humans are. Stop making one of the sexes look superior you dick

[–]wha7thmah -5 points-4 points ago

It's people like this that make me embarrassed to be female. -.-"

[–]SolarFederalist 0 points1 point ago

Don't be embarrassed. People like that are not representative of half the world's population.

[–]betabus 1 point2 points ago

I'm a girl, and I approve.

[–]xwgpx55 -3 points-2 points ago

"J" is my hero.

[–]BlackKnightsfan32 -1 points0 points ago

Fucking women. So fucking full of them selfs to not even be able to figure out the easiest thing. And then they yell at men for a small mistake and then when a woman does a HUGE mistake it's a honest mistake. Women:either grow a brain and stop thinking you're superior or go fucking die.