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When my girlfriend asks if I would stay with her if she got pregnant. (reactiongifs.com)

submitted ago by zyyklon

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[–]whats_this_gif_from 53 points54 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbFy87k5uuo

[–]Rafeeq 6 points7 points ago

I love you.

[–]Shenaniganz08 49 points50 points ago

All kidding aside

Guys its important to have this conversation with a girl at least once if you guys are sexually active .

Accidents happen, even with the best birth control methods so its important to know what your girl is willing to do in the case of a possible pregnancy. Lots of options, Emergency contraceptives, Pharmaceutical Abortions, etc. so it's important to discuss this BEFORE it happens.

[–]InvalidWhistle 1 point2 points ago

Such a buzz-kill. So I guess no getting drunk and hooking up with some random then...

[–]I_SHIT_KARMA -5 points-4 points ago

Guys its important to have this conversation with a girl at least once if you guys are sexually active .

But it's easier to push her off the stairs :(

[–]mac-cheese 1 point2 points ago

You sound like my boyfriend, This is what he tells me all the time if I got pregnant.... I know he would never hurt me in anyway

[–]my_shoes_hurt 62 points63 points ago

It depends a lot on who made her preggers I suppose.

[–]youdeadatebird 4 points5 points ago

If it were the cookie monster?

[–]jstrassman -1 points0 points ago

America is called the land of the free for a reason. People have the right to do whatever they want with their own body. It doesn't mean that we support abortion, but people have the right. America is called the land of the free for a reason. Nazis who oppresse people's right to choose make me sick

[–]my_shoes_hurt 0 points1 point ago

wat

[–]jstrassman -1 points0 points ago

whooops wrong person lol i was trying to talk to that guy who said that women shouldn't have a choice over their own body. wrong person!!! lol

[–]my_shoes_hurt 1 point2 points ago

lol ok that makes more sense. i was all kinds of not comprehending what I had said to earn that response.

[–]DannyLovesDerby 119 points120 points ago

lol a bit tasteless, but I hope this makes front page, it gave me a good chuckle.

[–]Terminus14 37 points38 points ago

Yeah. Because reddit has such refined taste.

[–]workroom 11 points12 points ago

that's racist.

[–]tonypotenza 0 points1 point ago

Reddit is racist.

[–]wojx 1 point2 points ago

Reddit can be classy...

[–]JRutterbush 10 points11 points ago

It simply chooses not to...

[–]Tony_11 32 points33 points ago

More like

[–]ZetsubouZolo 4 points5 points ago

I admit that everytime I get a new gf I have a long talk with her about pregnancy and the possibility of having children and what we would do if it would happen before we have or first sex. As long as I don't want a child and really am not ready for it to give it everything it needs I am pro abortion. it sounds harsh but that' my opinion.

[–]JohnAdamZiolkowski 2 points3 points ago

Good for you. It is very responsible to have this talk frankly and honestly before taking any risks. I too make sure my partner knows where I stand. It is also important to check in every once in a while to make sure where everyone stands. These things can and do change over time.

[–]CptLande 97 points98 points ago

I never understood this. If you have a girlfriend, you presumably love her. If you would leave if she got pregnant then you really don't belong together.

EDIT: In my experience, dating someone is not the same as having a girlfriend. When someone is your girlfriend you are past the introduction-stage that is dating. But that is just my opinion and experience.

[–]indyK1ng 135 points136 points ago

I think people get worried about getting asked this question because it may hint that their girlfriend might try to get pregnant to keep them together, hints that their girlfriend is insecure, or may otherwise indicate she has ulterior motives.

[–]Fyrus 55 points56 points ago

Also, some people really don't want kids, but that doesn't mean they can't have a girlfriend.

[–]anyalicious 30 points31 points ago

I asked a variant of this question very early on when we started having sex. "If I get pregnant, are you okay with termination, would you rather raising it together, or do you not give a shit either way because you'll cut and run?"

It is a legitimate question for women to ask since at the end of the day, we are going to carry the burden, both figuratively and literally.

[–]indyK1ng 0 points1 point ago

So I guess it really all depends on how the question is worded. The way you put it sounds completely practical. The way other women word it, like it's to confirm an assumption, seems a bit less so.

[–]bo87 -2 points-1 points ago

If you get pregnant and don't tell me about it, then yeah, I might leave you. Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe I thought we took these decisions together. Maybe it shows a lack of communication and trust. Maybe you just care about yourself.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]shorty6049 7 points8 points ago

THAT, is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard ? come on.

[–]Delror 17 points18 points ago

Except this has happened many, many times.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ariasune 10 points11 points ago

Just going to point out that the logic used here is...

Delror: Many women have trapped a man in a relationship with their uterus, so it's reasonable to assume another woman will do that too.

WeirdIdeasCO: Just because many women have been raped by men, does not make it reasonable to assume a man is going to rape you.

The point isn't all men are rapists, but that Delror was making a scare case.

[–]Delror 18 points19 points ago

...what the fuck?

[–]Danno1850 10 points11 points ago

"What are we gonna do if I got pregnant?" is different than "Would you stay with me if I got pregnant?"

The first being what normal women ask in a healthy relationship. The second being what insecure little girls ask in an unhealthy relationship.

[–]ariasune 3 points4 points ago

I always got the feeling the latter could easily be said if the woman is anti-abortion, or abortion is illegal in her country... basically a situation where abortion is not a possibility if they become pregnant.

All that being said, though, the first question is definitely a better way to say it.

[–]YO_DAT_SHIT_CRAY 0 points1 point ago

Exact right distinction. "Would you stay with me" implies a lot and whether you love someone or not could be taking things way to fast. For me, if I'm having regular sex with someone, love and relationship status aside, the talk about what we would do if pregnancy occurs is quick to come up. Personally I'm not willing to have sex with someone if abortion isn't the agreed upon answer.

Not exactly edit: Wow. I can't believe I wrote all that without remembering that I had a vasectomy two weeks ago. My second one actually. AMA. Anyway, guess I'll not be having this conversation with anyone in the future.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]_orz_ 9 points10 points ago

Just looked up semantics and every site essentially has the same definition: "The study of meaning in language". I do believe he is arguing semantics. Quite well in fact.

[–]Peaceblaster86 0 points1 point ago

http://i.imgur.com/ajI59.gif

[–]WeirdIdeasCO 0 points1 point ago

Dammit I laughed.

[–]RykezOne 0 points1 point ago

or maybe because you don't want a goddamn kid?

[–]EmperorSofa -1 points0 points ago

Long story short. OP provide all your own condoms from here on out and dispose of them yourself.

[–]noreallyimthepope 7 points8 points ago

You might have made a choice not to have children. I know plenty of couples who are like that.

[–]pizooozooo 29 points30 points ago

Fuck does that mean? Having kids should be a mutual decision.

Abortion is a thing.

[–]crystalsucks 27 points28 points ago

Yeah. The girl can be like "lol I ain't having this baby, abortion time" and a guy may be crushed but there's nothing he can do. If the scenario is flipper to where the guy wants his girl to get an abortion, all hell breaks loose.

[–]Phlyist 4 points5 points ago

This.

It was my stance and decision I made recently. I refuse to bring a baby into this world when I know it'd be irresponsible of me financially and I'm not even the type of woman that's like "oh well the baby will keep us together..." bullshit. (I have a friend who thought that would work). Unfortunately, his opinion was not relevant whether he wanted me to or not, because I would be the one bearing the situation physically, etc.. I told him the day before my procedure. Good thing he was actually pro choice.

Abortion is indeed a thing, but shouldn't be a habitual.

[–]ariasune 2 points3 points ago

It's fine if the guy wants her to have an abortion, but the all hell breaks loose should be reserved for if he pressures her to have one. Abortions can fuck people up pretty badly, and hey, so can babies. Both can render you infertile, kill you...

Whilst the father should get a say, and there should probably be a discussion of both views, I'm not sure you can really place the partner's psychological needs over the person who faces physical and psychological damage.

[–]DrKisses -2 points-1 points ago

Suggesting that abortion is psychologically harmless for men?

Some women can have 15 abortions and sleep perfectly fine at night- some men get seriously disturbed after having a pregnancy end in abortion.

Its always the woman's call- but suggesting that women's needs should come first is missing the point of the whole parental rights debate.

[–]ariasune 8 points9 points ago

"..the partner's psychological needs.."

If you may note above, I brought up the psychological harm that the partner may face. I have at no point stated the partner's needs to be inferior, but that it is the woman's call because she faces physical risk, as well as the emotional risk both parties are subjected to.

[–]CptLande 0 points1 point ago

I didn't think of that...

[–]alorty 18 points19 points ago

Not necessarily. It means you are attracted to her, and by dating you wish to see if your affection will grow. A girl asking that could be seeing if you love her enough to stay with her should something big and potentially unexpected happened.

Or you could be the asshole who knows she loves you and you're in it for the sexy times. Thus...

Response to Edit: Again, I bring up the asshole who knows that someone is infatuated with you, and you are rolling along with it for reasons other than being infatuated yourself. I have seen these relationships last a couple years, often ending in a bullshit reason up to and including the girl got pregnant and the guy didn't want to deal with having a child, so he attempted to leave.

[–]MindlessDreamer 12 points13 points ago

Exactly. That guy is effectively saying that just because you love someone it means you're ready for a BABY that basically takes your life away.

[–]oreopimp 0 points1 point ago

You can love someone and not want a family outside of you two. You can love someone more than enough without having to feel guilt tripped into having a kid especially if you two took explicit precautions to avoid having a kid. I personally feel these should be as rational decisions as you could make outside of love felt, or guilt you may feel because you like this person...in the case where you love and have sexy times with each other while avoiding having a kid, there is nothing wrong with saying no, I love you but no I don't want a kid right now and want to keep it as is, because kids are a huge game changer, could be for the better and could be a hell of a lot for the worst. Its a ginormous investment of resources and time and life. This is beyond love.

Calling someone an asshole because they dont want to take part is extreme. The girl could also be considered an asshole for going ahead and having the kid, trying to force the guy into it instead of having an honor for the formal or informal agreement they previously had with each other, especially with different and safe alternatives to take care of the situation. It may be her body but it is a huge investment of his resources she is asking for in return. Its all perspective.

[–]asshatnowhere 10 points11 points ago

a dating couple doesn't have to love each other. I can't say I have ever loved any of my girlfriends. I really really liked them and had amazing times with them but love is different IMO. still, if you got your girlfriend pregnant running away only makes you a scumbag

[–]Yulex2 3 points4 points ago

Dating and being boyfriend and girlfriend are different things.

[–]CptLande 5 points6 points ago

If you're going so far as to ask your boyfriend if he would leave her if she got pregnant then they're obviously pretty serious.

[–]cyanoacrylate 7 points8 points ago

Or very irresponsible with their sexy times :/

[–]asshatnowhere 1 point2 points ago

I guess I am very strict with the word 'love'. but yes, I agree with you on this one.

[–]pieguyfly 0 points1 point ago

But...

What is love?!

[–]annelisemonte -1 points0 points ago

baby don't hurt me

[–]dsoltesz 5 points6 points ago

"Running away" is not being a scumbag. Not staying with someone you aren't committed to to raise a child you did not want is making a critical life choice that will affect you, her, and the child forever. She has complete control to make choices about her body. She can take the responsibility for those choices.

[–]CptLande 9 points10 points ago

I would say this depends on the situation.

[–]dsoltesz 1 point2 points ago

Describe one, keeping in mind we're talking about a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship, not fiances, spouses, or illegitimate rapists/victims.

[–]CptLande 1 point2 points ago

I was talking about the "running away" part.

[–]asshatnowhere 0 points1 point ago

good point

[–]Miss_anthropyy 1 point2 points ago

...have you never heard of people who don't want kids?

[–]CptLande 0 points1 point ago

Yes. I'm one of them. But you can have an abortion instead of leaving all-together.

[–]Miss_anthropyy 0 points1 point ago

That's obviously not what "staying with her" means in this context.

[–]e7t 1 point2 points ago

Yes because having a girlfriend automatically means you love her, ah reddits virginness showing again.

[–]CptLande 1 point2 points ago

Did i say that? I'm not talking about someone you have been a girlfriend with for a short time. If it comes to the point that the subject of kids comes up, then it is getting serious, and at that point love has become a factor.

And yes, I've been there.

EDIT: Also, upvote for automatically assuming I'm a virgin because I talk about love.

[–]danielw1245 0 points1 point ago

maybe he wouldn't leave, but would still prefer not to have kids

[–]timetravel_fanof 0 points1 point ago

Why do you presume that a boy loves a girl if they are boyfriend and girlfriend? He could be dating her for a multitude of reasons that do not necessarily combine to make a bond strong enough for him to stay with her during a pregnancy

[–]CptLande 1 point2 points ago

Fine, my wording was terrible, but when a couple has gotten to the "pregnancy-stage" then they presumably are serious. If she brings it up early and out of the blue she's probably has shady reasons.

[–]Arx0s 0 points1 point ago

People tend to have sex way before they start loving each other. Sex usually results from the initial absolute infatuation of one another.

[–]JSN86 -4 points-3 points ago

Well, if the baby is his, imho, he should stay. If it isn't ... well, some guys would stay, others would leave on the spot.

[–]CptLande -4 points-3 points ago

It's not just your opinion, it's being a decent human being.

[–]JetpackAwaaay 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure it's just a joke.

[–]dsoltesz -1 points0 points ago

Really, you shouldn't have sex until the accidental pregnancy question is answered. If the man doesn't want children, he does not have to stay if she gets pregnant. She has complete control over choices regarding her body... he does not. If she's a decent human being, she won't lock a man into a relationship forever just because her birth control failed. If she doesn't want to get pregnant, abstinence is the answer. The next best thing is pill + spermicide + condom every single time or a commitment to abort.

[–]DrKisses 4 points5 points ago

We are long past the point of "If you didn't want a child you shouldn't have had sex"

Sex is not consenting to fathering a child- it is perfectly healthy to have sex outside of committed monogamous relationships.

[–]Aithyne 1 point2 points ago

Sure it is. I'm in full agreement with you. But, if a man fathers a child (birth control/condom/oops baby), he better man up and pay child support.

[–]DrKisses 2 points3 points ago

I think this issue is why we need a financial abortion option- from the moment of conception the decision to bring a child into the world should be a mutual agreement- both parties should be able to choose whether or not to be a parent, regardless of sex.

[–]Aithyne 0 points1 point ago

I think having sex is pretty much making that choice. To have sex is to accept that birth control might fail. Men who do not want children need to have vasectomies or provide their own condoms (and not risk the pull out method or anything like that). Women who do not want children should be on some kind of birth control and insist on condoms (or be sterilized, but that is notoriously hard to do under the age of 35 with no children and is a far more invasive procedure).

I'm not saying that you will be a parent just by having sex but if a man impregnates a woman, he's just as responsible as she is, even if she chooses to keep the baby. A lot of men, if they had the choice to just dissolve financial responsibility because they don't want a baby and there is an "oops", they would choose it and would learn absolutely nothing. Sex without consequences, if they are the sort to see it that way!

It's quite possible I misunderstood your comment though so feel free to correct me if I took it the wrong way.

[–]DrKisses 0 points1 point ago

No you understood me exactly correct- And I hope you know that your argument is the exact same argument that opponents of abortion used "IF women are able to get abortions, they will just run around engaging in all sorts of risky behavior that will be harmful for society- sex is a choice and choices have consequences"

The fact is that there is no foolproof reversible birth control option available for either sex- making someone (yourself or your partner) pregnant through complete dumbassness or even no fault of your own (Birth Control Failure) should not be a life sentence to parenthood. Having a Child and being a parent should be a choice, men at this time get to choose to have sex or remain childless, but have no option for both according to you.

[–]Aithyne 0 points1 point ago

Reading this comment, I think we're actually in agreement, but missing a link somewhere.

I do NOT think that having babies should be a consequence of sex. I do think that if a man absolutely wants to remain childless, he needs to have an agreement in place with the woman he's sleeping with that she'd use Plan B, get an abortion, etc. AND that he needs to be in charge of his own protection (condom, vasectomy, etc).

Unfortunately for men, they don't get quite the same say that women do in consensual sex about whether or not they'll be parents in the matter of an "oops". A woman can change her mind and that is her right but, because he did choose to have sex with her, he does need to pay up for his spawn. If he doesn't want that risk, he just needs to have safer sex.

I'm also not saying that as the situation stands, it's ideal. I think there needs to be a better way to handle it all that does not result in the man running away, leaving a single mother. If she didn't want kids and is part of that oops, she shouldn't have to deal with it alone. Abortion, while it should ALWAYS be legal and made available to women, is not an easy choice to make, 'nor is it easy on a woman's body.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if a man can't handle that there might be an oops and the woman is not capable of going through with an abortion either emotionally or physically, he shouldn't have sex without his own barrier methods/other fail safes.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'm a lot more succinct after multiple cups of coffee, I swear.

[–]dsoltesz 0 points1 point ago

Well, then, if she gets pregnant, he's not responsible at all because he did not consent to have a child. If that's not the way we're going to do things, then abstinence is the only choice that guarantees no unwanted pregnancies.

[–]DrKisses 1 point2 points ago

I think we both agree that all the man has made after sex is a fertilized egg- the mother makes a choice for 9 months and then a child is born, the man has (rightly) absolutely any say in anything that happens from point of conception onward- why should he be responsible for a child he does not want?

[–]emme_ems 0 points1 point ago

But then when the man changes his mind and wants back in after having contributed nothing? Man makes choices too...

[–]dsoltesz -3 points-2 points ago

Then he's probably not mature enough to have been having sex in the first place.

[–]shorty6049 -1 points0 points ago

You make a good point here. At first I didn't know if I entirely agreed with the "he does not have to stay if she gets pregnant" comment, but really, this question "would you stay with me?" should go both ways , in the form of "If I get you pregnant, do you promise you'll get an abortion?" As its only fair.

[–]dsoltesz 0 points1 point ago

I mentioned elsewhere: when my husband and I were dating, he asked "the pregnancy question" - basically, if I got pregnant, what would I do? I said something along the lines of "possibly get an abortion, or maybe take the genetic contribution and run."

It hadn't occurred to me to ever ask him (or anyone else I had dated) what he'd do if I got pregnant because I never considered it to be the man's responsibility, or that the man would have any authority or choice in the matter. It's my body and my responsibility to not get pregnant. Naturally, this doesn't extend to my spouse (or fiance while were engaged, if you can call six years of living together an engagement). He would be included in discussing the decision, and his input would carry a great deal of weight, but that decision is still ultimately mine to make. Marriage is a very strong bond, but we are still independent individuals.

Of course, I'd expect by the time a couple is engaged or married, they'd already have a firm contingency plan agreement in place. On the other hand, I've heard of couples who made it to the altar not knowing what each others' plans for having a family were and just assumed they knew what the answer was.

[–]dsoltesz -2 points-1 points ago

If you're willing to stay with her if she gets pregnant, then why isn't she your wife already?

[–]CptLande 6 points7 points ago

Some people don't want to get married.

[–]dsoltesz 0 points1 point ago

Whether formal or common law, legally recognized or not, there is a point where two people are committed to each other for the long term. Usually there is at least a verbal agreement regarding the arrangement, if not an actual contract. We do not refer to people who have a lifelong commitment to each other as "boyfriend-girlfriend." One would hope by the time they've gotten to this point, the "pregnancy question" (and many others) have been discussed and agreed upon. However, I've been disappointed before.

[–]Randompaul 6 points7 points ago

As long as it's mine.

[–]crystalsucks 2 points3 points ago

I think OP is worried about his girlfriend trying to intentionally become preggo or is preggo right now.

[–]darkangelle 4 points5 points ago

This is made more wonderful by the fact that he dumped a pregnant Scary Spice. He also told people not to assume it was his baby.

[–]you_freak_bitch 2 points3 points ago

Came here to point out the irony. Poor mel B.

[–]darkangelle 1 point2 points ago

I never looked at Eddie the same way again. He went from being a nice, funny guy to a disappointing sack of shit.

[–]dualOWLS 5 points6 points ago

That's a loaded question.

[–]shorty6049 6 points7 points ago

Yeah, I was thinking about that. There's really no response other than "of course!" that doesn't make you sound like a total dick. However; a good response would be "Do you promise to have an abortion if you end up pregnant? Becuase I'm not ready to raise a child yet and it needs to be a mutual decision."

[–]bo87 0 points1 point ago

If I'm together with someone and she just decides to get pregnant, then I'm not sure that's someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. It shows a lack of communication and that she don't care enough what you think.

The question shouldn't be asked like some sort of ultimatum. The question should be "do you want to have a baby with me?" or even "Can you see yourself having a baby with me?". It should also be noted that we as men have no obligation to give either yes or no. It's one of the hardest decision there is in life. My girlfriend don't have the right to act like a child and force a yes/no-answer from me.

[–]aglids 1 point2 points ago

umm, ITS YOUR SPERM'S FAULT

[–]CenkCenk 0 points1 point ago

What is this from?

[–]king_cherokee 0 points1 point ago

First ask who's it is.

[–]Daciex 0 points1 point ago

Eddie Murphy makes some pretty shitty movies but he's a very underrated actor.

[–]CheeseforSheogorath 0 points1 point ago

But, would you at least get her some Poptarts?

[–]brianbrianbrian 0 points1 point ago

"If it's mine, sure."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

what a man

[–]1000yearoldmagician 0 points1 point ago

You're awful

Edit: but you are Eddie Murphy, and thats hilarious!

[–]bo87 0 points1 point ago

Why is he awful?

[–]1000yearoldmagician 0 points1 point ago

As you can see in the gif of the famous actor Eddie Murphy he is showing a face that might suggest "no", even though he tries to convince othervice. In OP's situation, that might mean he would leave his girlfriend if she got pregnant. I hope this answers your question.

[–]DrunkleSwervy 0 points1 point ago

Eddie Murphy, one of the all time greats. My first job was as a dishwasher at this restaurant near Mt. Rainer where all the tourists would get bussed in. I would always have Delirious cranked as I plied my trade.

[–]Noir24 -1 points0 points ago

Better use of this gif: "...if I would stay with her if she lost a limb"
If you're not staying if she gets pregnant you're kind of a dick (at least if it was you that got her preggers)

[–]girlyusername 0 points1 point ago

Why are people downvoting you for pointing out that only jackasses abandon a woman when she is pregnant with his child?

[–]Noir24 0 points1 point ago

Fuck would I know. People are jackasses?

[–]girlyusername 0 points1 point ago

Rhetorical question, but alright.

[–]Noir24 0 points1 point ago

It's not a rhetorical question if you put a question mark behind it (I think)

[–]girlyusername 1 point2 points ago

No, a rhetorical question is still a question and so still requires proper punctuation. According to About.com - "A question asked merely for effect with no answer expected. The answer may be obvious or immediately provided by the questioner."

[–]AntonChigur -1 points0 points ago

if a chick is asking you that she's gonna forget to take her pill or put a hole in your rubber.

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