this post was submitted on
617 points (59% like it)
1,857 up votes 1,240 down votes

funny

subscribe2,654,440 readers

8,005 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 144 comments

[–]doiveo 149 points150 points ago

So you're a judgmental arrogant asshole?

[–]hirajo 16 points17 points ago

My favourite kind of asshole.

[–]Early-Cuyler 4 points5 points ago

What is your second choice?

[–]Mikulak25 12 points13 points ago

A tight one.

[–]Smokey_McPCP 3 points4 points ago

Tight buttholes are tight butthole, but loose buttholes are tight butthole too.

[–]mattdawg62 231 points232 points ago

Downvote for being the kid that everyone tries to make you feel welcome but then we all realize is a huge prick... good luck with school...and life.

[–]UnexpectedSchism 122 points123 points ago

You are the employee in this image?

[–]FloppyWonkers 204 points205 points ago

judging by this post, your one of "those" homeschool kids. Have fun at school buddy.

[–]bobnilknarf 90 points91 points ago

you're

[–]Fuglypump 47 points48 points ago

Would have been better if it was OP who corrected FloppyWonkers.

[–]sethboy67 12 points13 points ago

It would have made this post amazing. I now have FloppyWonkers tagged as 'public schooled', Haha.

[–]bitteralex 21 points22 points ago

Publicly schooled.

[–]nitram916 0 points1 point ago

pubic schooled

[–]Studson 0 points1 point ago

[–]FloppyWonkers -1 points0 points ago

you can take your grammar, turn that sumbitch side ways, and stick it straight up your roody poo candy ass.

[–]sethboy67 0 points1 point ago

How harsh the words of ye, doth heartless hind know no serenity!

Are we acting our parts or just messing around?

[–]goomplex -1 points0 points ago

vou're

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AreyouthereGordon 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry, what?

[–]Bearcubby17 74 points75 points ago

As a fellow high schooler, your peers will chew you up and shit you out with that attitude

[–]Shitty_Repost_Police 9 points10 points ago

Sounds like the type of kid who thinks he is really smart, but doesn't know shit about life.

[–]GrooveCombo -1 points0 points ago

You should see how we dealt with them in the military.

[–]AlSpeer 3 points4 points ago

I'm sure it was uplifting to humanity as a whole.

[–]Dokturigs 75 points76 points ago

You're probably more socially awkward though

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]YoungSerious 46 points47 points ago

Fun fact for today: People are different.

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 7 points8 points ago

writes that down

[–]YoungSerious 3 points4 points ago

I did that, and I still forget from time to time.

[–]Garridy 0 points1 point ago

Too bad different isn't always an improvement.

[–]YoungSerious 0 points1 point ago

It's subject to opinion, but in my opinion you are correct.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]trizzle21 4 points5 points ago

Stop posting this everywhere it's annoying and way to hard to read.
Edit: You copied pasted everything which means you're fucking lazy.

[–]therobotjeff 2 points3 points ago

Was it that stupid thing where he's like he knows a bunch of different ways to kill you and served in the marines or seals or some shit like that?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Monksie 1 point2 points ago

Or learn to write shorter things

[–]original-finder 36 points37 points ago

[–]Saphiric 61 points62 points ago

Oh, so you were that guy who thought he was better than everyone else and was never able to make any real friends in school due to appearing as a pretentious douche to anyone he spoke to? Yeah, I remember you.

[–]Eats_Beef_Steak 6 points7 points ago

See, I can't tell which person OP thinks they are. The pretentious douche, or the overly friendly happy-go-lucky fuckface?

Edit: apparently its the douche. In which case, I agree with you.

[–]Rohm 56 points57 points ago

Hahaha you're going to get torn to shreds.

[–]ItsAllRigh 0 points1 point ago

Unless he/she is in college. Then he/she just cake-walks through.

[–]Levofloxacin 16 points17 points ago

I got stuck with 2 home schooled kids in a group project my freshmen year of college. They changed all my work and all the points we lost were on my section to things they changed. I hate home schooled kids. dropped my grade a letter and I lost my grant that year.

[–]ItsAllRigh 4 points5 points ago

Nobody said that all home school kids are smart.

(Quantifiers are horrible things)

[–]CaptainCuntHunter 4 points5 points ago

Am I the only one here that knows public school, at least in America, is by far the worst education possible?

[–]user_name2 40 points41 points ago

You know how there's that saying that goes "what if I'm retarded but everyone around me acts like I'm normal to spare my feelings?" Yeah, that's you.

[–]as1126 4 points5 points ago

Being humble is important. You probably have some general knowledge or specific knowledge that may give you some advantage, but there are skills that others have that you may lack.

Source: My wife and I home-schooled two sons until last year (one to college, one to high school).

[–]hihi44 17 points18 points ago

OP going to be the most popular kid at his school no doubt

[–]Santacloz 25 points26 points ago

ITT: Everyone hates homeschooled kids

[–]Saphiric 42 points43 points ago

No, everybody hates that homeschooled kid who thought that it made him better than everyone else and was never able to grow up enough to accept that he wasn't above everyone.

[–]AreyouthereGordon -1 points0 points ago

truth. An important distinction.

[–]AlSpeer 0 points1 point ago

Pfft, I was like that as a youth without being homeschooled. Arrogance is not limited to homeschooled kids.

[–]Garridy 0 points1 point ago

I went to a particularly hard high school and all the home schooled kids where always about a year behind in terms of knowledge.

[–]Kar98_Byf42 -5 points-4 points ago

Not so much hate, as pity.

[–]Jamog 10 points11 points ago

Being homeschooled is actually the opposite. You have no idea about life.

[–]crushcrushcrush 14 points15 points ago

You were homeschooled and you are saying you know more than me? This is why everyone hates you and thinks ur a fucking weirdo.

[–]dolemite- 10 points11 points ago

You don't.

[–]kbox 28 points29 points ago

"i know more than you.... about religion, the gay agenda and how science is a big conspiracy."

lol what am i talking about, homeschoolers don't talk to other people, they sit in the corner having a panic attack over the reality of life.

[–]Firesand 14 points15 points ago

Somehow you manage to seem more obnoxious and prejudice than the op.

[–]igloo_master 3 points4 points ago

I'm homeschooled.

I do in fact cry sometimes because of the cost of college.

[–]kuj4k 7 points8 points ago

Must suck having to work at hardware store. Sorry your parents are so dumb.

[–]Dinocologist 3 points4 points ago

Then they beat the shit out of you.

[–]grumblesatlife 0 points1 point ago

This is why they keep to themselves.

[–]smithal3 1 point2 points ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Good luck fitting in with everyone, prick.

[–]LFK1236 0 points1 point ago

Which one are you...?

[–]Grandmaofhurt 0 points1 point ago

And everyone in the class was thinking, "I know what a vagina and social skills feel like"

[–]GnomeInvasion 0 points1 point ago

I was home schooled. Thanks for making us look like pretentious dicks.

[–]GrooveCombo 0 points1 point ago

You sad pedantic child.

[–]Rincey 0 points1 point ago

ITT: Insufficient sample sizes

[–]devo1138 5 points6 points ago

Seriously, most home-schooled kids that I met are complete fucktards.

[–]foxtrotftw 6 points7 points ago

i believe south park said it best: those home-schooled kids know more, but always have the personality of a wet dish rag.

[–]Tazthewonderdog 2 points3 points ago

I totally know this feeling. I just went from homeschool to public school. I'm in grade 10. People don't know what a preposition or syllable is. Geez.

[–]Disco_Bloodbath 6 points7 points ago

You probably don't know more about socializing. Also, HOW DARE YOU COMPARE YOURSELF TO RON FUCKING SWANSON?!?? You should be ashamed of yourself.

[–]faeden 7 points8 points ago

I bet the person from public school has more social skills...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]WillLurk4Food 7 points8 points ago

Well done quoting a home-schooling advocacy group for all of your articles. Guess it doesn't hurt that they are also a Federal PAC that relies on funding based on their own biased "studies."

tl;dr: HSLDA is a joke

[–]bansheeman -3 points-2 points ago

I agree, I took those out.

[–]jbread 5 points6 points ago

I found this post so irritating that simply downvoting it was not enough. I went back through OP's posts and comments and downvoted all of them.

[–]GrooveCombo -3 points-2 points ago

thats a good idea.

[–]joeshmoe16 9 points10 points ago

I can't wait until this person realizes that mommy and daddy weren't right when they said that there little genius was so smart. My bet is this kid is going to make up a bunch of excuses for doing badly on tests and say their being mean to him just because he is homeschooled.

[–]akakaze 5 points6 points ago

*they're

[–]BranchedOut 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if serious...

[–]akakaze 1 point2 points ago

To clarify, he used "there" when "their" would be appropriate and then went on to use "their" when "they're would be appropriate. Should have probably included both for clarity.

[–]joeshmoe16 0 points1 point ago

sorry, I usually have decent grammar. I was tired and annoyed.

[–]crAbsolution -1 points0 points ago

I remember when I was about 7 some kids asked me which school I went to. I said that I was home-schooled, but they didn't believe me. In an attempt to prove that I did infact go to school, they asked me "What's 2+2?" to which I obviously responded "4". They then declared that I must go to school.

[–]DaNizzles 2 points3 points ago

All home school children have a fundamental problem recognizing authority. The only authority figures they ever know are required to love them unconditionally.

[–]GrooveCombo 1 point2 points ago

Interesting.

[–]sherman92 2 points3 points ago

From what show is this screen made of? I live in germany and never saw this show, but nearly everyday i see a picture of this show on reddit.

[–]pannieruhan 2 points3 points ago

Parks and Recreation

[–]sherman92 0 points1 point ago

Thanks!

[–]outfoxthefox 0 points1 point ago

Your life has changed, enjoy. This show is fantastic.

[–]darthpreslie 1 point2 points ago

You went to school at a hardware store?

[–]YanRaygur 1 point2 points ago

As a Lowe's employee, I find this very accurate.

[–]squiggilysk33t -1 points0 points ago

False

[–]jdaltgang -1 points0 points ago

Prepare for a extremely shitty high-school experience if you are really this much of a asshole

[–]celticd208 -1 points0 points ago

Aaaand the number one reason I work for Home Depot is...

[–]thm2130 1 point2 points ago

soooooo... this post has all hate comments... but why so many upvotes???

[–]Cryptic0677 -1 points0 points ago

So youre in high school? Sorry dude you dont know anything. Im finishing my phd and I still dont know anything.

[–]Marchie -1 points0 points ago

Well it's clear you know how to interact with people better than those uneducated dummies.

[–]nathanv221 0 points1 point ago

im watching that episode right now on netflix!

[–]grumblesatlife 1 point2 points ago

Keep it to yourself. Do not correct people when they are wrong. You will survive longer.

[–]guyver_dio 0 points1 point ago

Homeschooled kid ey?

So god made everything and Mountain Dew is the best soda ever?

[–]alphabot 0 points1 point ago

Knowing random facts (essentially what you learn in ANY school) does not make you smart. IQ is derived from ones ability to solve problems.

[–]tevert -1 points0 points ago

I see a lot of hate flying your way...... those are the people who are too stupid to recognize their future boss. Here here to homeshooling bro.

[–]Bwob 2 points3 points ago

Heh. That's clearly that's that's the only explanation to the poor reactions we're seeing, when someone shows up and say "even though my education had far less official oversight than the norm, (not to mention far less social contact with diverse people than is normal for my age) I have determined that I have been better educated than all of you, and all of you are dumb."

Clearly people are just either too stupid to recognize their better, or jealous of his obvious intelligence and social skills. (Demonstrated, ironically, by the post in the first place.)

Yeah, that's probably it. Jealous.

Clearly.

[–]GrooveCombo -3 points-2 points ago

Go fuck yourself. I'm the CEO of a tech company and a product of a public education system. I also spent 6 years in the United States Air Force. I've seen people from all walks of life. Your comment was probably one of the weakest ones on this page.

[–]Evesore -2 points-1 points ago

I was in private school until 7th grade; I remember being utterly confused my first day of math class as to why we were doing 5th grade math. After two days I was moved to the advanced classes and it was a little better.

It makes me cringe seeing all the people posting things like, "you're going to get torn up/ you have no friends/ you're going to get chewed up/ torn to shreds." Excuse me if I've been out of HS awhile (10 years) but I'm pretty sure that being arrogant has often no bearing on popularity. At young ages you can treat the majority of people like shit and as long as you're attractive and dress nice, you wont have any lack of "friends".

[–]GrooveCombo 2 points3 points ago

Private school is not home school.

[–]andybent25 1 point2 points ago

I knew kids who were home schooled from elementary through middle school. High School was academically horrific for them.

[–]DnWeava 1 point2 points ago

I've known quite a few homeschool kids,about half are extremely wierd/awkward but the other half were pretty normal. They always seems ahead of public school kids in their school work but I wouldn't say they are smarter, now I went to private school and we were smarter than public school kids, suck on that suckas.

[–]pseudogentry 1 point2 points ago

Bravo. You've found a way to be elitist and exclusionary at the same time. Speaking from a position of experience, your attitude will be the cause of a lot of hardship for you, unless you drop all pretenses of superiority. You're not special, you're not a higher class; I'm willing to bet you're socially inhibited and have been taught by people without qualifications, in contrast to all of your peers. If this post is how you're going to go about public school life, good luck. You'll fucking need it.

[–]Rixxer 1 point2 points ago

Can't tell if you're the employee, or Ron in this scenario.

[–]fucme -1 points0 points ago

You seem to think you are smarter than everyone else but you haven't been around them to compare. And even if you are smarter, my guess is you are a social cripple.

[–]Att67[S] -2 points-1 points ago

To all off you hating on me go ahead if you must but I do apologies if this post offended anyone that was not the point. Its point was to be a counter to the earlier post that insinuated home schooled kids are idiots. Which is far from the case. So please don't jump to conclusions about me because its simply silly to judge someone as a complete douche over one post. I hope all of you have a good weekend.

[–]frozenkiller7 1 point2 points ago

... are you swanson or the idiot?

[–]theemprah -1 points0 points ago

[–]shawnpeps -1 points0 points ago

I'm thinking OP meant to say he was the employee in the first image - but, I can't really tell and if he's not, well, then he's a dick.

[–]midgetparty -2 points-1 points ago

Jesus-y homeschooling? You probably don't know more than them.

[–]drabe1 -3 points-2 points ago

exact opposite at my school. my dumbest friend was homeschooled until 8th grade

[–]GMasterIII -4 points-3 points ago

home schooled kids may have the book knowledge, but they are awkward as fuck. Parents do a disservice to children by keeping them at home. My parents dog has never been to the dog park and has only dealt with the handful of dogs she sees on a walk or that have come over, her lack of socialization makes her act weird to the other dogs.

[–]OhGeeGee -4 points-3 points ago

I cant fucking stand home schooled kids. They are so socially awkward and annoy the shit out of everyone the come in contact with because they know more than everyone!