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top 200 commentsshow all 499

[–]nallimy 1363 points1364 points ago

Extremely lucky shot - only one in 30000 squirrels ever have their heads stuck in a halloween decoration and end up terrifying a neighborhood.

[–]jbenz 533 points534 points ago

We've identified a new trend. Move all your karma into squirrels as fast as possible!

[–]lethargicwalrus 164 points165 points ago

Quick, make the meme first and get all that glorious karma!

[–]jollyholliday 423 points424 points ago

[–]SinofOmission 104 points105 points ago

[–]SirCottingham 224 points225 points ago

[–]crazyex 36 points37 points ago

HAHA holy shit balls I was sitting here depressed about seeing my ex-wife with her pregnant belly for the first time today and this alone has changed the course of my evening!

[–]MolsonIce 13 points14 points ago

Not sure if novelty account...

[–]crazyex 7 points8 points ago

No I'm real. Check my post history. She was crazy and remains so.

I worry about her new kid, her new husband, and our 3 kids. Pregnancy and the first couple of years after a baby is born is when the wheels really come off.

I seriously doubt her new husband, who she already caught cheating on her a couple of months before the marriage, can or will put up with even half of what I did.

[–]MolsonIce 6 points7 points ago

Well shit, I hope it gets better brotha. I haven't had kids yet, but I've got some buds who are in similar situations. Do you have shared custody?

[–]Lady_Hawke 0 points1 point ago

keep strong man. women are crazy, as a woman i can tell you its true.

[–]MrConfucius 16 points17 points ago

I wish I was clever enough to think of one, but it'll be nice to see this thread take off.

[–]skyman724 16 points17 points ago

Dammit, I was gonna put my nuts on GW, but looks like that won't get me shit for karma this weekend!

[–]AmbientChaos 5 points6 points ago

Nuts on gonewild never generate karma... Sigh...

[–]skyman724 6 points7 points ago

thatsthejoke.jpg

[–]Roflkopt3r 103 points104 points ago

[–]uptwolait 40 points41 points ago

Semantic satiation

Semantic satiation

Semantic satiation

Semantic satiation

Yep, it works.

[–]LuckWillows 9 points10 points ago

I wonder if it would also work with the phrase Reddit Enhancement Suite?

[–]the_grand_chawhee 48 points49 points ago

I never knew that had a name. Thanks for feeding my brain.

[–]MustardOrPants 23 points24 points ago

It was in TIL last month.

[–]Gycklarn 23 points24 points ago

I didn't know people still subscribed to TIL.
"TIL Africa is not a country"

Same thing with DAE.
"DAE like to have sex?"

[–]uptwolait 5 points6 points ago

TIL people still subscribe to TIL.

[–]the_grand_chawhee 4 points5 points ago

TIL

[–]chaosmosis 13 points14 points ago

It's like they intentionally chose weird looking words for that phrase.

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 7 points8 points ago

Reddit: Just Incase You Didn't Know©

[–]chadillac83 10 points11 points ago

I'm not in it for the short game, I'm leaving all of my Karma comfortably positioned in pictures of breasts.

[–]jollyholliday 3 points4 points ago

You, sir, are very wise. Now let's have a look at that portfolio!

[–]Hatch- 9 points10 points ago

Fuck, when did Louis CK start giving stock advice?

[–]jakfischer 16 points17 points ago

[–]northeasy 2 points3 points ago

This thread is going nuts.

[–]borntorunathon 38 points39 points ago

on phone SELL SELL SELL. No damn you, you were supposed to move the Chuck Testa karma ages ago. BUY ALL THE SQUIRREL KARMA.

[–]Honestly_ 27 points28 points ago

My Karma's still all tied up in ice soap... :(

Teaches me for leaving Reddit for an extended period. At this point I'm just crossing my fingers for a wave of ice soap reposts to offload at less of a loss. I hear otter futures are always a safe bet.

[–]ccfreak2k 9 points10 points ago

I try to diversify and have a bit of karma in everything.

EDIT: Cats are a safe investment. FB pics are risky but can pay off on occasion.

[–]Honestly_ 7 points8 points ago

Smart. I was thinking of going into some no-load Karma Index Funds. Sure, they may not have startling numbers but they have steady appreciation and would work well for my relative inattentiveness towards my karma portfolio. Now the question is which funds.

[–]frenzyboard 5 points6 points ago

Best i can do right now is five

[–]tagbadger 11 points12 points ago

Don't be so short sighted. I'm going grumpy cat. He's not only hot now, but I see consistent and stable growth into the future.

[–]lallish 5 points6 points ago

Next up: albino squirrel with a skull helmet.

[–]damontoo 11 points12 points ago

It was 300,000! Not 30,000. :\

[–]ProtoKun7 23 points24 points ago

No, that's albinism in squirrels. Halloween squirrels are actually ten times more common.

[–]Dustycube 23 points24 points ago

So, 1 in 9000000000 squirrels are albino Halloween squirrels?

[–]freudian_nipple_slip 14 points15 points ago

No, that's assuming independence.

Everyone knows albino squirrels don't like candy. They stay in on Halloween

[–]MisterSquirrel 7 points8 points ago

Not really, we do it all the time, it's just that nobody ever lives to tell about it.

[–]jacksonthedawg 5 points6 points ago

So every other neighborhood in Georgia is going to have this problem?

[–]FuckfaceMcGinger 126 points127 points ago

Holy damn. o.O I bet little kids who ran into that poor creature will have serious trust issues related to Halloween for a while.

p.s.: *its

[–]hotcereal 16 points17 points ago

It will be a serious epidemic in twenty years when fathers and mothers refuse to let their child outside because they ran into a squirrel with a mask on on a dreaded night in October.

[–]me-tan 6 points7 points ago

Knowing what kids in Fareham are like they were probably the ones who put the thing on the squirrel...

[–]naxir 9 points10 points ago

upvoted for *its. The internet is a series of tubes clogged up by poor grammar and its plumbers don't get enough credit.

[–]setsailforfailing 82 points83 points ago

I will now make it my life's mission to go around and assemble a massive squirrel army with macabre heads, only to sneak them into a fashion show and release them. I need a hobby.

[–]FelineCogent 14 points15 points ago

Beautiful.

[–]savagefox 5 points6 points ago

[–]Salomon3068 13 points14 points ago

I had high hopes too....

[–]Captain_English 16 points17 points ago

Yeah, the people around here aren't too bright. If this had happened on the Isle of Wight, though, they'd probably have built a throne for the thing and worshipped it as their god.

[–]dannyboyxyz 2 points3 points ago

Yep, same over Waterlooville way.

[–]RainbowOcean 15 points16 points ago

"HAPPY HALLOWE'EN."

[–]sumamus_exordio 3 points4 points ago

happy halloween-ween

[–]Brett_Favre_4 154 points155 points ago

2/10. Not albino.

[–]why_fist_puppies 58 points59 points ago

I think the odds are a little lower than that.

[–]ShitsStandingUp 50 points51 points ago

I want that squirrel and I want it NOW

[–]lethargicwalrus 22 points23 points ago

Bidding starts at 300000 karma!

[–]scoops22 26 points27 points ago

I see how it is. Only the Reddit 1% can bid for squirrels.

[–]McPantaloons 9 points10 points ago

Let's see, you have about 20k karma. You can turn that in for an eraser, seven rubber bands, or tootsie roll.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 2 points3 points ago

Only Link karma will be accepted

[–]purple_pumpkin_eater 5 points6 points ago

It's your squirrel, use it when you need it

[–]Ersh777 9 points10 points ago

I totally read that in a Veruca Salt voice.

[–]ilikeminuterice 5 points6 points ago

I totally sang that in a Veruca Salt voice.

[–]NanoGeek 4 points5 points ago

Don't care how, I want it now.

[–]N0V0w3ls 4 points5 points ago

I said no, Veruca!

[–]Vulpes-Aurum 10 points11 points ago

"Hallowe'en?" What is this, the 1800s?

[–]relsqui 3 points4 points ago

Still the standard spelling in some parts of the world.

[–]ShittyToasterStrudel 549 points550 points ago

[–]Mezziah187 93 points94 points ago

Do you eat everything you make? That could be a lot of strudel. You should definitely keep track of some strudel:karma:weight-gain ratio...

[–]pieguyfry22 34 points35 points ago

dm;as

[–]ismaithliomvag 364 points365 points ago

It looks like you ejactulated on your strudel, looks good though!

[–]eddiecollins 130 points131 points ago

Protein, bro!

[–]mastrann 60 points61 points ago

Haploids, yo!

[–]MonkeysDontEvolve 42 points43 points ago

It seems you double posted and both comments are gettin up voted at the same rate. Ill jump on that train yo.

[–]saintlawrence 27 points28 points ago

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 32 points33 points ago

you guys are such karma whores

[–]empireofnyy 3 points4 points ago

Disgraceful.

[–]mastrann 62 points63 points ago

Haploids, yo!

[–]MonkeysDontEvolve 48 points49 points ago

It seems you double posted and both comments are gettin up voted at the same rate. Ill jump on that train yo.

[–]saintlawrence 27 points28 points ago

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 29 points30 points ago

you guys are such karma whores

[–]uptwolait 3 points4 points ago

Screw you both and the karma horses you rode in on.

[–]KamenRiderJ 5 points6 points ago

Double train, all the way!

[–]MoeJoe_JoeJoe 1 point2 points ago

There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere...

[–]theserpentsmiles 4 points5 points ago

Yeah man, do you even lift?

[–]UseThe4s 27 points28 points ago

Novelty accounts are getting weirder.

[–]Nukidin 17 points18 points ago

This is so unbelievably funny, how you even think of putting some paper under it so you don't make a mess.

[–]ifightfirewithwater 16 points17 points ago

This novelty account is going to get expensive.

[–]H3000[!] 15 points16 points ago

And fattening.

[–]Gargoyle772 46 points47 points ago

Finding out that you exist is the first thing to legitimately make me laugh out loud on reddit in a long time.

[–]fromfocomofo 44 points45 points ago

Account is 1 day old. 5 years from now, when you're a famous Redditor, I'll take pride in absolutely nothing.

[–]Tyranitard 8 points9 points ago

I hope you make good money because this is going to be an expensive novelty account.

Edit: Side note: time to buy stock in toaster strudels

[–]zorospride 7 points8 points ago

Everybody knows where to look when you go to the store and they are out of toaster strudels.

[–]Pbjluv 4 points5 points ago

I wonder what flavor strudel you use...

[–]Stephenhansonnn 3 points4 points ago

This appeals to me on so many levels. Good luck in your future Reddit endeavors.

[–]noteabove91 3 points4 points ago

Interesting. Can someone please enlighten me on what a strudel is? Australian here..

[–]Fatally_Flawed 5 points6 points ago

Brit here, I'd like to know too.

Edit: wait I know what a strudel is, but I don't understand toaster version. Strudels over here are quite big and they're baked in an oven.

[–]CyanideEater 2 points3 points ago

They are godly. It's strawberry or blueberry filling in inside and is breaded on the outside. If you toast it just right, the filling will ooze out and it is amazing but if you do it too short, it is cold on the inside and warm on the outside, making the filling kind of "pasty". It comes with icing for every strudel and you usually make a picture or spread it on the top of the strudel. They are usually ate during breakfast.

[–]xxxCAT 2 points3 points ago

It's a breakfast pastry the size of a pop tart, filled with different kinds of fruit filling. Each one comes with a small icing package with a thin opening so you can decorate your food before eating it.

[–]xxxCAT 1 point2 points ago

It's a breakfast pastry the size of a pop tart, filled with different kinds of fruit filling. Each one comes with a small icing package with a thin opening so you can decorate your food before eating it.

[–]mohaukachi 2 points3 points ago

Come on now...

[–]tj_w 26 points27 points ago

The caption doesn't say anything about having his head stuck in it. It says toying with it. It's probably hanging and the squirrel is behind it, with a well times shot by the photographer it looks like it's on his head.

[–]Byeuji 27 points28 points ago

It was, in fact, hanging from something.

[–]Apebot 6 points7 points ago

'Nutmare on Elm Street'. Pretty good from The Mail.

[–]distantapplause 2 points3 points ago

Congratulations on being the first redditor to link to the Daily Mail without an army of douches laying into you for it.

[–]ApostrophePatrol 57 points58 points ago

it's

ಠ_ಠ

[–]marsneedstowels 22 points23 points ago

There is no separation betweeen squirrel and head, squirrel is head now.

[–]MaxPowers1 3 points4 points ago

It got it is head stuck.

[–]thediscobison 5 points6 points ago

If that thing suddenly popped out from behind something, I would probably poop my pants before I realized what it was.

[–]thecaptainjs 5 points6 points ago

[–]i-am-bronx 3 points4 points ago

that squirrel is just nuts

[–]Hadjios 8 points9 points ago

I think this picture was posted on reddit and ripped off by the newspaper.

[–]lhartley13 3 points4 points ago

Man squirrels are fucking hilarious.

[–]dressedAsDog 5 points6 points ago

[–]shalom-john 3 points4 points ago

Oh man, that picture was taken in my hometown. My hometown is famous. You're all going to downvote me but I don't care, because my hometown is famous.

[–]elad661 35 points36 points ago

Just FYI.

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
A Squirrel with it's head stuck inside a Halloween mask. 3coms 4pts 7hrs funny
Squirrel got his head stuck 2coms 5pts 13hrs funny
Squirrel gets overly curious about a Halloween decoration (x-post from r/wtf) 0coms 4pts 1hr funny
Squirrel got his head stuck in a Halloween decoration.. 20coms 245pts 2hrs WTF
Those British squirrels are the WORST! 1com 19pts 8hrs pics

source: karmadecay

[–]spage6 38 points39 points ago

Does five other posts in the same day mean some people actually still read newspapers or that they just spend way too much time on reddit?

[–]ClockStalker 15 points16 points ago

/u/spage6: Analyzing 235 comments and submissions over the last 91 days

Hypothesized location: Eastern North America

Ars longa, vita brevis

[–]RustedWheel 5 points6 points ago

Is there somewhere one can request this info on themselves?

[–]Captainpatch 4 points5 points ago

Correct. He appears to subscribe to /r/baltimore which would fit with your East Coast hypothesis.

[–]elad661 7 points8 points ago

I think my sleep schedule will confuse the hell out of ClockStalker should it try to guess where I am :P

[–]spage6 2 points3 points ago

Haha I didn't think I was on here enough to get profiled. The location thing is too easy because I post to the Baltimore subreddit. This profile isn't really interesting...it just tells me when I comment and my vague location.

[–]idubs 21 points22 points ago

You forgot mine. It was the first one, I posted it 1 day before all those. But who gives a shit, especially in such a small time span.

[–]phyllis_lecat 10 points11 points ago

That's squilarious.

[–]bitcheslovelauren 6 points7 points ago

You could say it's so funny it drove you nuts.

[–]ohmysocks 0 points1 point ago

That's acorny pun, you could do better.

[–]-10000comment_karma 5 points6 points ago

this is fucking fake you good for nothing fucking karma whore

[–]lunsfordandsuns 1 point2 points ago

*Its, not it's

[–]whodeybluedevil 1 point2 points ago

*its

[–]Tmps3 2 points3 points ago

So it begins, the war to end all wars.

[–]It_girl 2 points3 points ago

Am I the only one worried about the squirrel?!

[–]TommaClock 2 points3 points ago

And then it suffocated and died.

[–]xadz 2 points3 points ago

First time I've seen a post from a local newspaper! I'm from Fareham, Hants! No sight of this Squirrel yet though. :-(

[–]e3342 0 points1 point ago

*its

[–]dreweatall 1 point2 points ago

If I repost this, what are the odds that 3 of the same post could be on the front page?

[–]anotherdike 2 points3 points ago

Your repost struck karma gold. The other posts of this image, not so much.

[–]Sharopo -1 points0 points ago

Wouldn't it just look like a typical halloween decoration on account of it appearing to be extremely hard to run around, if not impossible? I don't think squirrels can travel on their hind legs very easily.

[–]RainbowZebraGum 0 points1 point ago

This is amazing

[–]Pompeyfandan 1 point2 points ago

Boody hell, that's just down the road from me. I think I would have died of fright.

[–]AnimatorSteve 0 points1 point ago

That's one nutty squirrel

[–]Eyeball75 -1 points0 points ago

"Terrified a neighborhood". Lol.

[–]element33 -1 points0 points ago

I wish I had more up-votes to give.

[–]Tebasaki -1 points0 points ago

Macabre indeed

[–]YaoPau 0 points1 point ago

Plant a bunch of masks like this like peanut butter on the inside.

[–]Lost_In_Transylvania -1 points0 points ago

dat macro.

[–]Alex_14 0 points1 point ago

We all came to make a squirrel joke, and we all left feeling stupid.

[–]HelloWuWu 0 points1 point ago

Shit. I need to move my karma investments to squirrels on Reddit... asap.

[–]muzikman1793 0 points1 point ago

I haven't laughed this hard in a long ass time.

[–]mykchap 0 points1 point ago

I just had a laughing fit.

[–]4x4raider -1 points0 points ago

Hilarious!!

[–]Settepotet -1 points0 points ago

Ok, this one made me laugh out loud!. Thanks!

[–]supergalactic 0 points1 point ago

I have never wanted a pet squirrel more badly in my life than right now

[–]CuprisEnCnidos 0 points1 point ago

Mr. President...

[–]here_for_the_lols 0 points1 point ago

That is just fucking priceless. I can imagine old women just loosing their shit in the park.

[–]Eden_p 1 point2 points ago

Of course I posted this 11 hours before this post.

You've got to love the way reddit works

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1244wy/squirrel_got_his_head_stuck/

[–]readingis_sexy 0 points1 point ago

I sure feel bad for that other guy that posted this just before you who missed out on the front page

[–]DantesDame 0 points1 point ago

OMG - I'm laughing too hard to even tell my husband what I'm laughing at! This is great!

[–]hgmanifold 0 points1 point ago

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[–]OMFGORLY 0 points1 point ago

Video or it didn't happen

[–]leg3L 0 points1 point ago

So basically we should be putting pine nuts in any and every halloween decoration we see?

[–]graziemille 1 point2 points ago

Haha, this happened near where I go to uni.

[–]OmgNoodles 1 point2 points ago

Awesome shot. My dog was jigsaw one night. She wouldn't stand still so we could take a pic, so one of our friends held her.

http://i.imgur.com/nQBRT.jpg

[–]zombiecat999 -1 points0 points ago

Wow.....fail

[–]nanarpus 0 points1 point ago

quick, someone put this into the albino squirrel picture from yesterday

[–]Carty75 1 point2 points ago

That's how they roll in Hampshire

[–]portablebiscuit 1 point2 points ago

I'm going to put peanut butter in 100 of these and conjure an unholy army of the night.

[–]grailer 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant! Tonight, I'm putting peanut butter in all the neighbourhood's hollow Holloween decorations.

[–]wise_words -1 points0 points ago

Stolen from 9gag

[–]J_Jammer 0 points1 point ago

That's a sight for sore eyes.

[–]RandyMachoManSavage 1 point2 points ago

Hallowe'en

wut

[–]dadathome 0 points1 point ago

I chuckled like a squirrel as I sent a mass emailer

[–]WizKoulikov 0 points1 point ago

I am now putting peanut butter and duct tape in all my Halloween decorations.

[–]curlygirl86 -1 points0 points ago

I can't even begin to describe how hard I laughed at this

[–]Secret_Squirrel007 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't me...

[–]armored_hater 0 points1 point ago

"Increase in risk for meth" ?

[–]78946512354678897546 0 points1 point ago

That's sort of how I imagined Brown Jenkins from that H.P. Lovecraft story about the witch and the geometry and whatnot.

[–]ThatguynamedCharles 0 points1 point ago

The neighborhood went nuts..................

[–]wEll__0kaythen -1 points0 points ago

literally just laughed my ass off.

[–]cyn_nyc -1 points0 points ago

Wow, same picture twice on the front page

[–]TEA_PARTY_PATRIOT -1 points0 points ago

WITCHCRAFT SATAN BEAST

[–]Chumsaw 1 point2 points ago

I really hope this isn't fake haha

[–]ChalkyJones 1 point2 points ago

Beatlejuice...Beatlejuice...

[–]UnderwaterPianos 1 point2 points ago

A squirrel got it is head stuck in a Halloween decoration...

See where you went wrong?

[–]GTX_ReapeRz 0 points1 point ago

Mother of God...

[–]Lmt_P 0 points1 point ago

[–]ASlackingPollock 1 point2 points ago

The little known alternate squirrel ending to Raiders of the Lost Ark

[–]dooterdoot -1 points0 points ago

Lol @ the OP's name

[–]H3000[!] 0 points1 point ago

"Terrified a neighborhood" seems like a bit of a stretch.

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 0 points1 point ago

DWIGHT?

[–]manlord -1 points0 points ago

That reminds me of the big head squirrel feeder

[–]RogueSpectre749 0 points1 point ago

I like how this exact same picture is on the homepage for both r/funny and r/wtf

[–]SquirrellyTurtle 1 point2 points ago

Bath salts.

[–]gtcoolman20 1 point2 points ago

After all those posts about albinos, a masked squirrel is the rarest of all.