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all 66 comments

[–]HEAVYMETAL6661234 18 points19 points ago

gluttony, nuff said

[–]formesse 6 points7 points ago

Pride: How dare you think I am gluttonous for eating 10 chocolate bars in one day!

Greed: I have 200 chocolate bars - all mine.

Envy: I wish I had 200 chocolate bars.

Wrath: How dare you touch my chocolate bars [proceeds to rage]

Sloth: Would you pass me my chocolate bar, I can't... seem... to... reach... it. Zzzz.

Lust: I want that chocolate bar sooo much.

[–]intentListener 17 points18 points ago

You dare defy the will of Hershey?

[–]dermo529 34 points35 points ago

Our cocoa, who art on trees

Chocolate be thy name.

Thy roasting come

Thy shell be gone on bean as it is from the tree.

Give us this day our daily hot chocolate

And forgive us for coffee

As we forgive those who drink coffee against us

Lead us not into Licorish.

But deliver us from Nestle.

For thine is the sugar and the chocolate and the milk. Forever and ever.

[–]flashlightwarrior 20 points21 points ago

Almond!

[–]BennyGB 5 points6 points ago

I read that as Heresy...

[–]intentListener 5 points6 points ago

Are you one of those damn Born-Again Nestleans?

[–]dermo529 3 points4 points ago

The dark side of the chocolate...

[–]Aplostobate 2 points3 points ago

No, I am a follower of the Archbishop of Cadbury!

[–]BennyGB 1 point2 points ago

I'm not a savage! I'm a Cadburyst my good sir...

[–]darthmowzy 0 points1 point ago

damn Hershey heretics

[–]SwineHerald 0 points1 point ago

Nay, my father brought me up according to the teachings of a small denomination from his homeland.

[–]BlessedHeretic 1 point2 points ago

I too, read it as Heresy.

[–]mobyhead1 0 points1 point ago

Also good...

[–]Lord_NiteShade 2 points3 points ago

Dove is the one true God.

[–]intentListener 1 point2 points ago

[–]Lord_NiteShade 1 point2 points ago

Cage is merely a prophet.

[–]intentListener 2 points3 points ago

Them's fightin words.

[–]meantamrajean 5 points6 points ago

In all fairness there probably isn't chocolate in hell.

[–]mtbr311 5 points6 points ago

There is but when you open the package it's all melted and it makes a huge mess if you try to eat it. Damn.

[–]DodongoHatesFire 5 points6 points ago

Doesn't matter; had chocolate.

[–]rkyeun 10 points11 points ago

What do I do if I love chocolate AND want to go to hell?

[–]Bobthemathcow 7 points8 points ago

continue eating chocolate, but just keep moving.

[–]xnvb 1 point2 points ago

Why does this have anything to do with atheism? Stop upvoting shit like this.

[–]Wizywig 3 points4 points ago

Request for facebook trolling:

Like if you like being anally raped by disease ridden men.

Ignore if you want to go to hell.

Please make FB posts in this theme. Thank you.

[–]LordAnubis10 0 points1 point ago

That's when you dislike it

[–]fridgeridoo 0 points1 point ago

This hate against diabetics has to stop!

[–]Imnotevenangry 1 point2 points ago

Like if you exist

Ignore if you have angry buttsex with Satan

[–]beerteal 0 points1 point ago

i saw this on my wife's feed the other day. However you are cutting off about 4 sentences off the end of that phrase which is why i suppose you are using the black boxes. I can understand why you would hide the rest of it though.

[–]hawleyal 0 points1 point ago

Why do people always post black on top and bottom?

[–]SGSII 0 points1 point ago

I guess all of us are going to Hell since we are literally unable to "like" this.

[–]ebkd777 1 point2 points ago

Boy.....that escalated quickly

[–]remeus 0 points1 point ago

easy solution, downvote!

[–]blind_faith 0 points1 point ago

makes as much sense as any of the other rules

[–]ClockworkINTP -1 points0 points ago

Said nobody ever

[–]Mr_Dr_Prof_Derp 1 point2 points ago

*boy

[–]Drdres 0 points1 point ago

But.. But, I can't eat it. I'm lactos intolerance, guess I'm going to hell then.

[–]healtoe 0 points1 point ago

OBVIOUSLY you all have not read the good book....

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[–]UhScot 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather go to hell and be with the majority of scientists who changed our lives throughout all of humanity than be in heaven praising some old tyrant for eternity.

[–]jeltimab 0 points1 point ago

Well then... I guess all dogs DON'T go to heaven...

[–]GenDissapointment 0 points1 point ago

Por que no las dos?

[–]Mr_Dr_Prof_Derp 0 points1 point ago

*los

[–]metalmike187 0 points1 point ago

Repost.

[–]JeSuisUnicorn 0 points1 point ago

This doesn't look like satire at all.

[–]alittler 0 points1 point ago

I'm not going to he'll because I ignored the chocolate, I am going to he'll because I am stealing the chocolate.

[–]CodyModo 0 points1 point ago

wouldn't doubt it if an atheist put that on there

[–]roeder 0 points1 point ago

Well according to those facebook updates, that I have ignored.. so far I:

  • Disapproves of homosexuality.

  • Disapproves of cancer research.

  • Approves of childmolesting.

  • Approves of murders.

  • There SHOULD be some dead girl waking me up at night.

  • I like to see tortured animals.

[–]lazarus_pen 0 points1 point ago

Ignore if you don't know happiness.

[–]meatwad75892 0 points1 point ago

It should work like that, chocolate is most excellent.

[–]Calculator_on_Desk 0 points1 point ago

Uhhh... so is this just "Cake or death" done badly?

[–]Blade4u22 0 points1 point ago

My Lactose intolerance got me a one way ticket to hell. damn

[–]Auchtain 0 points1 point ago

I hate chocolate!

[–]d2dany 0 points1 point ago

Fuck this! I posted similar shit all the time and get down voted like shit! Fuck the people of reddit

[–]MLPxPenguins 0 points1 point ago

Lactose-Intolerant? God hates you and your family!

[–]tarkata14 0 points1 point ago

Well I sure do love chocolate but if there is a hell I'm surely going there regardless of how much I love confectioneries.

If I'm wrong and judgement between heaven and hell is decided on a persons chocolate preference, I'm definitely getting 72 virgins when I die.

[–]WolfySnackrib 0 points1 point ago

Batman is going to hell?

[–]Onestring 0 points1 point ago

Correct, That is not how cropping works.

[–]eddg 0 points1 point ago

But what if you're wrong?

GIMME CHOCOLATE!

[–]Lan777 0 points1 point ago

Like if youre circumsized, ignore if you have a mac

[–]Iqw2ltg 0 points1 point ago

Well, that escalated quickly...

[–]redelman431 0 points1 point ago

Isn't eating chocolate gluttony?

[–]Dontinquire 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure that's exactly how that works.

[–]Mydaskyng 1 point2 points ago

makes as much sense as any religious service I've experienced.

[–]trainedNscience 0 points1 point ago

Hah. Doesn't matter if there is a hell good milk chocolate only melts in your mouth.