this post was submitted on
1,964 points (53% like it)
16,428 up votes 14,464 down votes

funny

subscribe2,649,850 readers

8,470 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 192 comments

[–]WileyK 150 points151 points ago

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST A SHARK IN A CAGE

[–]CAPS_LOCK_POLICE 45 points46 points ago

I'LL LET YOU OFF WITH A WARNING BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH. TYPE SAFELY FROM NOW ON, OKAY.

[–]justin37013 18 points19 points ago

See, that's just it.. yelling is part of the pun because in the song, Billy Corgan yells the chorus to emphasize his rage.

[–]SpaceWorld 17 points18 points ago

WHAT? SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU ABOVE ALL THIS YELLING.

[–]willowsonthespot 7 points8 points ago

What's going on here.... TOO MUCH YELLING I THINK MY HEARING IS DAMAGED NO.

[–]irvinestrangler 1 point2 points ago

I HATE IT WHEN YOU GUYS FIGHT!!

[–]NothingsShocking 1 point2 points ago

are you mouthing off to my partner? step out of the vehicle son.

[–]chargerz4life 2 points3 points ago

[–]Their_Police 3 points4 points ago

Well that's just rude.

[–]chargerz4life 0 points1 point ago

THUG LIFE!

[–]White_Luigi 3 points4 points ago

I'm just a shark, just a shark in a cage,

I'm just a shark, just a shark in a ca-ee-age,

I'm just a shark, just a shark in a cage

I'm

just

a shark in a cage

[–]Dominoes282 0 points1 point ago

Are you referencing this?

[–]brmmm 279 points280 points ago

It's inhumane to let a Russian get that close to a shark.

[–]SergeantSarcasm 244 points245 points ago

The shark obviously locked himself in the cage to be safe from the Russian.

[–]lethargicwalrus 91 points92 points ago

Imagine taking a group of Russians to Australia...it would be the ultimate war of species.

[–]Late_Night_Grumbler 41 points42 points ago

We'd need some vodka. And a few fur hats. Does anyone know whether Gorbachev is available?

[–]coldvodka 32 points33 points ago

Checking in

[–]the_red_phone 7 points8 points ago

i can make some calls if need be.

[–]ketchy_shuby 0 points1 point ago

Protecting shark from Chinese finners.

[–]MeZoosta 15 points16 points ago

Fця Hдтs? Уоц меди цshдиkд, dд? Диd щho иееds Goяьдchец щhеи ще hдце Sтдliи?! Hе is good sтяоиg мди! He died foя Мотheя Яцssiд!

[–]Vasiushki 5 points6 points ago

What the hell are you saying?

[–]Roenbandit 2 points3 points ago

Fur hats? You mean Ushanka? And who needs Gorbachev when we have Stalin?! He is good strong man! He died for Mother Russia!

[–]Dominoes282 2 points3 points ago

He said ushanka, which is this.

[–]Roenbandit 0 points1 point ago

huh, I'd never thought about what their actual name was, up until now I've just been calling that a 'Russian hat.' Thanks!

[–]shawndw 11 points12 points ago

alternate ending to jaws?

[–]Natanael_L 14 points15 points ago

It ends with molotov cocktails

[–]MeZoosta 22 points23 points ago

DIE CДРITДLIST FISH!

[–]the_red_phone 4 points5 points ago

i don't know who would downvote you, but i'm guessing he too, is a cДpitДlist pig....

...

...

vodka.

[–]MeZoosta 7 points8 points ago

THДИKS FOЯ ТHE ЦРVOTE, COMЯДDE!

[–]brmmm 1 point2 points ago

They wouldn't have a chance. Our nature will kill them before we have to raise a finger

Source, I'm Australian.

[–]Cisco2600 0 points1 point ago

Lies. Australians don't exist, the continent is too deadly.

[–]Brambo94 3 points4 points ago

oh god...what if they started interbreeding?! we wouldn't have a chance...

[–]lethargicwalrus -1 points0 points ago

Maybe they already are...

[–]acme1235 7 points8 points ago

The Russian Shark week must be insane!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lethargicwalrus 10 points11 points ago

Too easy man...too easy.

[–]Prufrock451 45 points46 points ago

It's okay, that shark is actually dead. The Russian is just descending into his vodka tank to check on the shark's pickling.

[–]awkwardcock 124 points125 points ago

Shark studies you

[–]owenstumor 122 points123 points ago

Human week on Discovery Channel

[–]Prufrock451 41 points42 points ago

"Live every week like it's Human Week"

[–]rdbd 77 points78 points ago

Humans: a species with only one row of teeth. Gasp

[–]peterjfrigate 15 points16 points ago

Well, two rows, really. But ONLY two! slightly muted gasp

[–]mcfly25 5 points6 points ago

What is with some of the comments on there

[–]Godunderscor 3 points4 points ago

Some people react to stress poorly. Seeing that picture certainly qualifies.

[–]Gary_the_Goatfucker 0 points1 point ago

This is fucking amazing. To think; that three year old girl you saw prancing about yesterday looks like this on the inside.

Reach inside your mouth and put a finger on your teeth. Now move the finger up and feel where it goes concave above the top of your teeth. That's where your teeth used to be.

[–]namesrhardtothinkof 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit.

[–]flyingpotato408 2 points3 points ago

You deserve more upvotes

[–]StarScreamSamuri420 -3 points-2 points ago

Didn't even click. But since you said so.

[–]hbomberman -1 points0 points ago

ДЫСКОВЭрі ЧаНнЭЛ

(Discovery Channel spelled phonetically with the Russian alphabet.)

[–]MeZoosta 4 points5 points ago

ИО ОИЕ СДЯЕS!

[–]hbomberman 2 points3 points ago

I started and couldn't stop.

[–]MeZoosta 0 points1 point ago

IT'S ДDDICTIЦЕ, УЕS?

[–]koshdim 91 points92 points ago

poor shark, AFAIK most of them die if they don't swim

[–]SergeantSarcasm 56 points57 points ago

This kills the shark.

[–]savagefox 12 points13 points ago

Obviously the Russians are just developing stealth sharks that do not require movement to stay alive. They just wait in the shadows under docks and what not until their target comes within their strike range.

[–]hate_this_song 0 points1 point ago

exactly the worst thing ever, way to go

[–]iliasasdf 8 points9 points ago

Yep. They cannot pump water into their gills so they need a constant flow.

[–]silentseba 3 points4 points ago

While scuba diving I have seen plenty of sharks sleeping at the bottom of the ocean... not moving. This does not kill them.

[–]LifesBeachy 1 point2 points ago

Depends on what sharks you've seen. In my opinion this shark appears to be an obligate ram ventalator shark which would indeed require it to breathe by a constant flow of water over the gills. You may see a lot of bottom feeding sharks which use a process called buccal pumping but that depends on where you dive.

[–]Damadawf 15 points16 points ago

Not according to Mythbusters.

[–]ohgodwhatthe 19 points20 points ago

Considering that that goes against literally everything I've ever learned about shark respiratory anatomy, I'd like to see that "myth" "busted."

[–]Damadawf 40 points41 points ago

I'm just on my way to bed so I can't find proper details of the episode but here.

18 Shark Stop "Myth: Sharks will die of asphyxiation if they do not keep moving at all times.", Busted. Although some can die in this manner, most cannot.

Basically, some sharks can die this way, but they concluded (via talking to experts and stuff) that this was not something that was a threat to the majority of shark species.

I just thought it was interesting because like you, I was brought up with the understanding that sharks need to keep moving. Bear in mind, I always take everything I see on that show with a couple of grains of salt.

[–]not_a_wolf 16 points17 points ago

You must have very a high sodium intake.

[–]chaosmosis 4 points5 points ago

Mythbusters: 1

Biology Class: 0

[–]Ceejae -2 points-1 points ago

Absolutely ridiculous that you are being downvoted. Classic case of "shoot the messenger".

[–]ismoketabacco 11 points12 points ago

[–]Punkwolf 3 points4 points ago

Stop it Howie!

[–]Frase 0 points1 point ago

Haha that was worth clicking

[–]IS_JOKE_COMRADE 23 points24 points ago

I take offense to blasphemous photo

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]nikolifish 4 points5 points ago

Great. Now I miss hockey again. I'll take my sad into the corner and cry a bit.

[–]easternone 5 points6 points ago

SCHIFTY FIVE

[–]agent567 6 points7 points ago

Well, humans ARE more dangerous than sharks...

[–]red321red321 18 points19 points ago

In Soviet Russia

Sharks partake in "Human Week"

[–]lethargicwalrus 2 points3 points ago

In Soviet Russia, sharks die from human attacks.

[–]ThisIsPrata 0 points1 point ago

Should actually be humans die from shark attacks, think about it.

[–]apteryx_274 2 points3 points ago

because some people know to much to send them to gulag. Shark is much faster.

[–]Jester814 9 points10 points ago

[–]Punkwolf 3 points4 points ago

Actually that's Mexico if you read the article..

[–]Jester814 2 points3 points ago

WELL I DIDNT READ THE ARTICLE ONLY THE CAPTION AND TITLE!

:P

edit: I read the article. The guy was Australian.

[–]sahba 4 points5 points ago

Your title was so good! Some r/funny submissions are gold mostly because of their title. This was one great!

I LOVE GOOD TITLES

[–]puffgiant19 8 points9 points ago

I see no bears on unicycles...

[–]abumpdabump 2 points3 points ago

Just a little higher, little higher yep yep thats the spot now a little to the left. AHHHHHHH sergei, you always know exactly where my itch is

[–]italia06823834 3 points4 points ago

That's potentially incredibly harmfully to the shark. They cannot intake water like we can suck in air. They need to swim to keep water flowing over their gills. Otherwise they will die.

[–]thebayway 13 points14 points ago

Plus, what if it has claustrophobia? Not cool.

[–]OscarDragon 10 points11 points ago

Why would sharks be afraid of Santa Claus?

[–]thebayway 4 points5 points ago

Christmas jokes before Halloween? Tisk, tisk.

[–]chaosmosis 3 points4 points ago

In Soviet Russia...

[–]MeZoosta 0 points1 point ago

ДРРДЯЕИТLУ, УОЦ HДЦЕ ИОТ МЕТ SOЦIET DED МОЯОZ.

HE SEES УОЦ ЩHEИ УОЦ'ЯЕ SLEEРIИG...

HE KИОЩS ЩHEИ УОЦ'ЯЕ ДЩДKE...

[–]Azuraith 1 point2 points ago

Dppd()eintly, yoch, ndche iot met sochiet ded mo()oz.

Ne sees yoch ()nei yoch'()e sleepiig...

Ne kio()s ()nei yoc'()e d()dke...

That made no fucking sense, and some of those aren't even letters...

[–]angrye 2 points3 points ago

As someone who watches Shark Week, I concur.

[–]HelloNiceToBeHere 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, it is a very strange photo. I couldn't find any source through tineye or reverse google, and it doesn't look shopped.

I'm guessing the cage is built specifically for the purposes of shark-diving, so I suppose they're professionals... Perhaps the shark is already dead, and they just wanted to lift it out of the water? The guy might have to come up on a second trip, maybe because of a weight limit for the cage.

[–]Pell331 1 point2 points ago

Its shopped. From a quick look, notice the darkness on his air tank line right where the cage bar would be? The shopper didn't re-draw it. Edit: Same thing for the strap above his head.

[–]Imperfected 2 points3 points ago

In soviet Russia Shark pets you.

[–]newfag_tr0ll -2 points-1 points ago

Australia was better.

[–]EVILEMU 1 point2 points ago

Don't sharks pass out as soon as they're upside down? I read this somewhere that whales try to flip them over in order to subdue them.

[–]elleyes 0 points1 point ago

they slip into a coma

[–]A_Alonso 2 points3 points ago

He looks like one porn actor.......... damn forgot his name.

[–]Schtefon 0 points1 point ago

I thought you were trying to blame the Russians for yesterday's "flying shark" incident. Then I realized it was just a cage.

[–]Sr_Sussurus 0 points1 point ago

I'm hearing this in the voice of Yakov Smirnoff. "In Russia, sharks afraid of man bites in sea!"

[–]robbiemcgee 0 points1 point ago

Shark goes into the cage.

Cage goes into the water.

Mans in the water.

[–]ifNOTmeTHENwho -1 points0 points ago

Therefore...Russia???

[–]_Benj_ 0 points1 point ago

Is the shark dead ? or how could it happen ?

[–]jaspersurfer 0 points1 point ago

The fact remains that humans are far more dangerous to sharks than they are to us. This makes sense in some odd way.

[–]masters1125 0 points1 point ago

...sharks watch human week.

[–]CraftyBernardo 0 points1 point ago

Human locks shark in cage

[–]Frase 0 points1 point ago

sharks watches you!

[–]johndalmas 0 points1 point ago

I think that's Poland, not Russia

[–]Roboito429 -1 points0 points ago

RREEPPOOOSSSTTTTT!!!!!

[–]thehungryhamburger 0 points1 point ago

this comment is a repost

[–]level32 0 points1 point ago

Nope... even in a Russian proof cage, I wouldn't go near him.

[–]Tracewyvern -1 points0 points ago

In Soviet Russia, female sharks call it Human Week.

[–]daklassy1 0 points1 point ago

Its a Great White Human!!

[–]ROSERSTEP 0 points1 point ago

ok I caught a sand shark-like 25"/length-off Moss Landing,Ca-and thought maybe it would be tasty-it wasn't.However we cut out its little triangle shaped heart and that heart jumped around our driveway for more than an hour.It's true.

[–]Bartleby1955 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one that gets the reference to Yakov Smirnoff

[–]malcolm816 0 points1 point ago

[–]Roboticide 1 point2 points ago

Alright, all the Soviet Russia jokes are well and good, but I'm gonna need some context here...

Because all I can determine is that the shark is just thinking "WTF is going on?! How... How did this even happen?"

[–]Jelsol 0 points1 point ago

Oh. I get it. Yeah, usually it's the person in the cage. Ha!

[–]MrFreemanBBQ 0 points1 point ago

[–]Travie6492 0 points1 point ago

In Australia.* Apparently.

I'd link to the article but now it's fucking gone.

Australians, man.

[–]SolomonGrumpy 0 points1 point ago

The shark looks miffed

[–]chodechugging 0 points1 point ago

That shark is in a cage because, according to russian logic, a piece of paper that declares the ocean as a Soviet republic supersedes the reality that they've been inhabiting the ocean long before russians existed.

[–]kslaven 0 points1 point ago

My my, look how the tables have turned...

[–]jetfool 0 points1 point ago

There's something off about this picture, but I just can't put my fin on it.

[–]nismo9 -1 points0 points ago

This sort of thing absolutely disgusts me. Hate the sight of a beautiful creature caged up like that. No wonder they eat humans.

[–]success-kid 0 points1 point ago

*in Austrailia.

[–]bananapeel 0 points1 point ago

In Soviet Russia, shark jumps you!

[–]ryanford4 0 points1 point ago

hahaha clever post of the day well done

[–]Rmans 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else remember the best Reddit "In Russia..." joke of all time? Read shady8x's comment for the set up, then CapnScumbone's reply for the punchline.

[–]macogle 0 points1 point ago

This kills the shark.

[–]pwnies 0 points1 point ago

Great whites need to start using these tactics around Aussie tuna farmers.

[–]blacklotus21 0 points1 point ago

LOL. In Russia, sharks are the prey.

[–]crotchrotcadaver 0 points1 point ago

It took me far to long to figure out what was strange about this photo.

[–]SethIsInSchool 0 points1 point ago

Are you Russian, OP? I ask because of your username. A lot of tsars have "the great" as a title. Another common one is "the terrible"

[–]Brettersson 0 points1 point ago

"oh man, the guys up on the boat are gonna flip"

[–]DEMENTER 0 points1 point ago

More like Australia

[–]llamattama 0 points1 point ago

In Soviet Russia, sharks go human-diving.

[–]awesomesauce78 0 points1 point ago

Putin is so awesome

[–]NOWputTWOin 0 points1 point ago

don't sharks need to be able to swim to breath..?

[–]dubadub 0 points1 point ago

Shark goes in the cage. Cage goes in the water. Humans in the water.

[–]3russians 0 points1 point ago

Well I guess I guess this redefines a "shark cage"

[–]WhoFan 0 points1 point ago

That kills the shark. Sharks 'need' to move forward to live.

[–]johnnyTauc 1 point2 points ago

You're doing it wrong.

[–]Cickle_Funts -1 points0 points ago

What other Russia is there?

[–]Sr_Sussurus 2 points3 points ago

Post-Soviet Russia. You know, the one we have now.

[–]apteryx_274 0 points1 point ago

don't forget Imperial Czarist Russia, when the Czar made blood spill, all over the Russian empire. Unfortunately, he was hemophiliac, so it was his blood.

[–]Cickle_Funts 0 points1 point ago

Oh post soviet....

[–]Nydroj -2 points-1 points ago

In Soviet Russia sharks study humans.

[–]pcnc -3 points-2 points ago

It's a shark cage, it's just logical for a shark to be in one

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]JordanTheBrobot 3 points4 points ago

Flash Link Detected

The comment above contains a link to Flash content, which could be innocent, or could be a screamer (loud scary sound-having animation).

Click with caution!

Bot Comment - [ Bropanel ] - [ Charts ]

[–]alphawuff91 1 point2 points ago

Yet I click anyway. DAMN YOU CURIOSITY.

[–]chaosmosis 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, this is a screamer.

[–]RzK -5 points-4 points ago

Gahhh.. these jokes are still around?