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top 200 commentsshow all 230

[–]Versaton 235 points236 points ago

You'd be more pissed if this actually happened to you instead of stealing it from someone else.

[–]JKR93 9 points10 points ago

I never found these notes people "find" funny. You can easily pick up a pen and write them yourself.

[–]vili 4 points5 points ago

I approach it this way:

I consider some theatre comedies funny even if I know that they don't represent documentary reality. This is similar, just the performance takes place on reddit and the performer in this case is BlakeFrank.

Sure, it may not be original material, but then again Much Ado About Nothing is pretty funny every time I see it, if well performed.

Why, in the end, would something have to be real in order to be funny?

Ninja edit: It is an interesting question though whether something is more funny if it's real. And if yes, why?

[–]JKR93 1 point2 points ago

I get what you're saying, but if it was something different than, "I could hear you having loud sex last night" not very funny to me.

[–]vili 1 point2 points ago

That I can certainly understand.

[–]TigerWylde 38 points39 points ago

you mean some asshat is lying on the internets? my mama said everyone on the internets is honest.

[–]alienbringer 8 points9 points ago

I thought your mama said everyone on the internet is the devil?

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 3 points4 points ago

And Benjamin Franklin is the devil!

[–]vaginal_cream 4 points5 points ago

Well, your mama... er... no... she's right.

[–]Wanrenmi 9 points10 points ago

Mama say alligators are so ornery cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

[–]brianbrianbrian 10 points11 points ago

Here's the kicker: OP is the one leaving the note after hitting the other person. He's a bad person, TWICE, in this pic.

[–]svullenballe 7 points8 points ago

OP just wrote the note and took a picture at home.

[–]brianbrianbrian 6 points7 points ago

OP is the note

[–]starparty 8 points9 points ago

Then who is car?

[–]Asaoirc 4 points5 points ago

There is no car.

[–]starparty 6 points7 points ago

Then who are you?

[–]atizzy 4 points5 points ago

I'm YOU!

[–]Unethical_Panda 4 points5 points ago

then whos HE?

[–]JetsonRichard 1 point2 points ago

ME

[–]great_gape 0 points1 point ago

What if it's a IRL repost.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Nickk_Jones 3 points4 points ago

This is more of a fucking repost than any content I've ever seen. God damn Reddit comments get fucking old.

[–]Nrksbullet -1 points0 points ago

Commenters should just start doing the entire schtick themselves when they first comment. as in:

I'll take "things that never happened for 500 alex" - OP is a faggot - you really think someone would do that, just tell lies? - Ill make a 'note' of it har har/ - fucking repost - repost comments are worse than the repost itself - he wrote it himself - directed by shamalamadingdong - OP is note - then who is dog?! - yes this is dog - hello this is note

If that was the first top comment, a lot of the comments under it would be redundant.

[–]BrainSlurper 3 points4 points ago

You are the pinnacle of creative originality.

[–]HappensALot 3 points4 points ago

If he posted it as an imgur link though, 50 upvotes.

[–]theMeticulous 605 points606 points ago

I'll take "Things that never happened" for 500, Alex.

[–]my_dear_director 101 points102 points ago

Somebody hit my car. I'd be pissed if this were actually true

[–]dunchen22 42 points43 points ago

What is OP?

[–]evilbob 38 points39 points ago

A grade-a lying faggot?

[–]ComplainsAboutDvotes 0 points1 point ago

OP such a lying faggot; I'm glad his car was hit!

[–]pepitko 2 points3 points ago

A big fat PHONY!

[–]dotlurk 0 points1 point ago

Baby don't hurt me!

[–]thedbp[!] -5 points-4 points ago

what did op post on reddit?

[–]guyver_dio 1 point2 points ago

Well it wasn't me but this guy I know...

[–]r35krag0th 21 points22 points ago

But is the penis mightier, Mr. Trebek?

[–]TheClayroo 0 points1 point ago

[–]IamGrimReefer 0 points1 point ago

will it really mighty my penis?

[–]cpennington 1 point2 points ago

We meet again you mountebank...

[–]BelaBartok42 0 points1 point ago

What did I just say about racial slurs?

[–]BaronVonKlotz -1 points0 points ago

Well, the game is afoot.

[–]r35krag0th 0 points1 point ago

I'd hate to say it, bit I toe-d you so.

[–]Soylent_Hero 6 points7 points ago

I'll take "persons in acid washed jeans", for $100.

Who is 'OP?'

[–]Elebow 1 point2 points ago

Came here to say this.

[–]Jeroknite 0 points1 point ago

That isn't how you Jeopardy!

[–]Soylent_Hero 1 point2 points ago

I didn't need to hear the question.

[–]NickelFish 1 point2 points ago

I call shenanigans!

[–]Loserd 1 point2 points ago

[–]NickelFish 0 points1 point ago

I saw the orange envelope in the upper right and thought 'Oh shit. What did I do now?'

[–]Coolguyzack 8 points9 points ago

Jeopardy goes from 400, and skips to 600.

[–]yellowoftops 26 points27 points ago

Don't worry about the downvotes. They're all just jealous that you've been online chatting with hot babes all day.

[–]Coolguyzack -1 points0 points ago

I have 1 upvote. I am satisfied :)

[–]Crunchles 3 points4 points ago

Not in the first round.

[–]khrak 0 points1 point ago

The first round hasn't been $100-$500 in over a decade.

First round is $200-$1,000, second round is $400-$2,000

[–]Crunchles 13 points14 points ago

Well then I guess the last time I watched Jeopardy was a decade ago...

[–]pjpjr6 1 point2 points ago

So over a decade?

[–]antesignanus 0 points1 point ago

That is indeed true now. They doubled the values at some point. First round used to have 100-500. Weird right?

[–]Coolguyzack 0 points1 point ago

Yup. But you can bet 500 in final jeopardy lol

[–]Cptn_Sisko 1 point2 points ago

[–]Captain-Kenneth 0 points1 point ago

Could be real. But then my question to OP is: are you angry now that you know the dick who hit your car isn't funny and is just a dirty re-poster claiming jokes as his own?

[–]Nickk_Jones 0 points1 point ago

I've seen the fake writing thing happen a fuckload of times. Granted, I never checked to see what, if anything was actually written.

[–]alapanamo 1 point2 points ago

[–]gothams_reckoning 1 point2 points ago

And the answer is:

This joke has been recorded as early as 1963 been seen around the internet (including snopes) for quite a while, recently it was reposted as original content on reddit.

http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/thenote.asp

[–]ifthens 1 point2 points ago

A $500 question can't happen bro

[–]Tihsdrib 143 points144 points ago

1996 called. They want their jeans back.

[–]Chet_Awesomelad 68 points69 points ago

1996 called to tell you even in 1996, those jeans were tacky.

[–]thalescosta 3 points4 points ago

[–]Greenleaf208 3 points4 points ago

Black girl in the back..

[–]Jonovox 24 points25 points ago

Please tell me you told them about 9/11.

[–]brianbrianbrian 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, that poor embassy. :(

[–]PantsOffDanceOff 0 points1 point ago

Those aren't just jeans, they are jean shorts!

EDIT: Wait...no never mind. Just probably a hole in the left pant knee.

[–]fawker 0 points1 point ago

jorts

[–]fawker 0 points1 point ago

acid-wash

[–]azunad -1 points0 points ago

1996 called. They want their joke back.

FTFY

[–]GardenSalsa 64 points65 points ago

Repost.

[–]yellowoftops 51 points52 points ago

How could it possibly be a re-post? This JUST happened to them!

[–]apullin 54 points55 points ago

This didn't happen.

You are aping a picture of a note that has been posted before.

This is yet another piece of crappy reddit derivative attempted comedy "performance art".

[–]awsumsauce 0 points1 point ago

I've had you tagged as "gets reddit" in RES for months and have yet to be disappointed even once.

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

too bad I don't get anything else :\

[–]monkeyblaine -2 points-1 points ago

Here here

[–]nwsreddit 0 points1 point ago

The other note was different. I think the person that hit OP's car just stole the idea.

edit: here it is. took two seconds to find

[–]apullin 0 points1 point ago

Excellent work. I would hire you based on this.

[–]nwsreddit 0 points1 point ago

And a damn fine employee you'd be accepting! Said the man browsing reddit at work.

[–]Cayou 2 points3 points ago

PROTIP: if you witness someone hit a parked car and leave a note, remember their license plate and go check the note in case they pulled this trick, so you can append your own message to the note. JUSTICE!

[–]CopsGotTanks 4 points5 points ago

Of all of the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

[–]AllGoodInTheHood 21 points22 points ago

My VW Eurovan was parked in front of my house and I took my dog for a walk. On my way out from the house I noticed a Subaru wagon parallel parked right behind me an inch from my bumper. It was so close that I stopped by to look for dings on my way out. On my way home I noticed that the bumper had been caved in. Further inspections located the note on the windshield very similar to this post...with a $100 bill folded inside. Unfortunately the damage done was considerable (over $2000 when I finally had it repaired later) and $100 was not going to cover it.
I'm pissed. I look around and the same Subaru is parked just across the park only 100 yards away. Couldn't be.... At the time I lived at the parking area for a surf spot in California and the house I lived in had a view out over all the parking (not the beach or ocean), so I went up and waited. Sure enough, 30 minutes later a guy comes back to the car with a wet suit on. I walk down there and ask him about the situation with the VW across the way.
He starts by telling me he has no idea what i'm talking about but he's fooling no one. ORLY! I lie and tell him my girlfriend saw him do it from our window up there (where she is currently standing and looking out at us). He changes his story to "his friend was moving his car and must have done it". I tell him we'll wait to talk to his friend. He says his friend might be out in the surf for a long time, even though the sun is setting. After much story telling and posturing, he goes through all 9 stages of denial, he fesses up to the crime and bolts for home.

So I call the cops who actually go to his house 35 miles away, write a hit and run ticket, get his insurance info, and bring it back to me.
His insurance pays for the repairs. Karma

[–]Rycene 17 points18 points ago

2000$ for a caved in bumper, you went to the wrong place my friend

[–]_yourekidding 8 points9 points ago

2000$

No no no. It clearly states $2000.

[–]mike413 9 points10 points ago

His insurance pays for repairs.

You want things professionally done in this case.

[–]Phallindrome 8 points9 points ago

The professionallyest.

[–]Ass_Explosion 1 point2 points ago

If you are referring to the price you are dead wrong.

[–]TigerWylde 6 points7 points ago

How is that Karma? thats just the law enforcing the law and prosecuting a crime? what's with you kids thinking every damn thing is Karma?

[–]acpawlek 1 point2 points ago

Karma is the last name of the police officer. Robert J. Karma, officer at large.

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

in most places it's Officer that's large..

[–]MattieF 1 point2 points ago

Plus you got to keep the $100, right?

[–]penguinluff 8 points9 points ago

Yeah. I saw this a long time ago. I would have upvoted if your title said something like "I'd be pissed"

YOUR LIES HAVE GOTTEN YOU NOWHERE!

[–]rotidder4lyfe 5 points6 points ago

I'd still be pissed...

[–]nwsreddit 0 points1 point ago

I'd be more pissed.

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 11 points12 points ago

take that down to the boys at the crime lab, and have them analyze it for semen.

[–]PemCorgiSelphie 2 points3 points ago

Why are so many people complete ass hats? Is it really that common for people to be dicks?

[–]no_no_NO_okay 0 points1 point ago

yes

[–]PemCorgiSelphie 1 point2 points ago

;n; okay

[–]zlkv 2 points3 points ago

Let me just write a GUI interface in visual basic and I'll be able to match his handwriting to his fingerprint and we'll find the bastard!

[–]mwad 0 points1 point ago

an interface interface?

[–]SUSAN_IS_NOT_A_BITCH 0 points1 point ago

I was actually graphical GUI interface.

[–]orenen 0 points1 point ago

CSI: New York really needs to get their shit together...

[–]dannyboyLaugh 2 points3 points ago

What if you did this to someone but didn't actually hit their car. Ha!

[–]yeayeaok 6 points7 points ago

looks like female handwriting..

Edit: Goddammit it really does. Thank you female downvoters.

[–]sucknack 1 point2 points ago

Yes you are totally right, judging by the punctuation this must be a middle aged Asian women right before menopause.

[–]Hefeweize 3 points4 points ago

Fake... Who carries spiral paper in ones car any more

[–]Blu_T 0 points1 point ago

Anymore? Was that ever a thing?

[–]coribald 2 points3 points ago

You weren't around for the spiral revolution of 1995?

Good times.

[–]anyalicious -1 points0 points ago

Do you not own notebooks?

[–]scoobydoo182 0 points1 point ago

As a messy college student, I've got about four in my car because I never bring them inside.

[–]Torvaldr 0 points1 point ago

College kids bro

[–]Hefeweize 0 points1 point ago

Ok I figured it could be a college kid. But after further research this paper was ripped from a binder. And photo is taken with paper on his lap it seems. Why lap? So no one in class will think he is weird taking a photo of a paper

[–]djguerito 2 points3 points ago

IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE, JIM!

[–]_Quaternion_ 1 point2 points ago

MICHAEL!

[–]djguerito 0 points1 point ago

Niceeeeee

[–]strangesplatr 2 points3 points ago

this is a repost from like a year ago. OP is a karma whore

[–]gottathinkofaname 1 point2 points ago

When I was a probationary driver, many moons ago, I parked my POS in a garage next to this lady who was also pulling in to park. When I got out, she got kinda mad at me, and asked for my name and wrote down my license plate number.

Then proceeded to tell me about how a couple of weeks ago someone in a parking lot hit her car. I got straight back in my car and moved it to another spot while she was watching. What the fuck.

[–]Ass_Explosion 0 points1 point ago

I would have waited until she left and nobody was around, then I would have driven my car into hers just hard enough to dent it.

[–]LuckyDuck77 0 points1 point ago

I hope when somebody hits my car they haven't seen every other fucking week of Reddit so they won't write the same fucking thing hundreds of other people have written. But I'll be sure to post it on Reddit if they do... because your stupid fucking Reddit karma is more important than your car. You sound like a douche bag.

[–]Where_does_iStart 0 points1 point ago

Murder. I'd find them. I don't have a participial set of skills, but I would acquire them. Mother fucker, I will eat your children.

[–]th3sousa 0 points1 point ago

Nah, I'd still be pissed

[–]grospoliner 0 points1 point ago

Okay, you need to bag the letter so any forensic evidence doesn't degrade. You will need to determine the best way to attempt to lift prints from the page, which you will be able to do since human fingers leave oils on the page. Once you get prints you may be able to coax someone into searching the police databases for them.

[–]stansteamer 0 points1 point ago

Nobody hit your car, you whore. OP is fag.

[–]Rhystic1 0 points1 point ago

Old.

[–]diplomatsun 0 points1 point ago

[–]Aznflipfoo 0 points1 point ago

Was this at csun at the dorms? -_-

[–]Aznflipfoo 0 points1 point ago

Oh if this is a repost, can someone point me to the original?

[–]monkeyblaine 0 points1 point ago

A repost claimed as original content, was someone not given enough attention when they were growing up?

[–]low-karma-guy 0 points1 point ago

DNA fragments on the paper . . ENHANCE!

[–]Sweet_Fanny_Adams 1 point2 points ago

This wasn't funny the first 99 times I saw this either.

[–]abbAtheist 0 points1 point ago

What a cunt head.

[–]ThereGoesYourKarma 0 points1 point ago

see username OP

[–]frapawhack 0 points1 point ago

what a detached sense of priorities

[–]KalimasPinky 1 point2 points ago

Your parents bought you your car huh?

[–]CrimZz -1 points0 points ago

Fake and just old... fail

[–]Duplicate_Pie 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I call bullshit on your supposed reaction.

[–]Nitzi -1 points0 points ago

When someone hits your car he has to call the police, writing down his name and adress does not work, when I see someone doing that, I call the police no matter what stands on the letter

[–]bemenaker 0 points1 point ago

That's not true at all. The law depends on the state you live in. If they really leave you their contact information, that is all that is required by the insurance companies.

[–]Nitzi 0 points1 point ago

Correct, the best thing would be to check the law in your state just in case you hit some car

[–]Ass_Explosion 0 points1 point ago

Wrong.

Incidentally, you sound like a douche.

[–]bemenaker 0 points1 point ago

Someone did this to me once, while I was working. I saw them driving off and a note on my car. Fearing it was this, I ran out, saw there was no information, and was able to get their license plate before they got out of the parking lot. Filed a police report, and they got cited.

[–]Beavuhnater 0 points1 point ago

FUCK YOU!!!

[–]jbd1986 0 points1 point ago

OP is a big, Fat, PHONY!

[–]SutekhRising 0 points1 point ago

Oh, I get to spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars because someone hit my car and left a note saying they hit my car. How amazingly, skull-fuckingly HILARIOUS!

[–]nataleeyuhh 0 points1 point ago

you're full of lies.

[–]TheAethereal 0 points1 point ago

This joke is old, and you should feel old for using it.

[–]ruff0214 0 points1 point ago

Nobody hit your car this is a repost, I'd be fine with it if it weren't for the fact that you are claiming it as your own

[–]PandaSixx 0 points1 point ago

Wow this is so original and isn't a repost at all, OP is a faggot.

[–]n0la 0 points1 point ago

Nothing ever happens to people on Reddit.

[–]Fineolesolution 1 point2 points ago

People need to stop posting shit like this. Just gives other people who hit cars like jackasses more ammo to not do the right thing. It's pathetic, if you hit someones car like a fuckwad. Own up to your mistakes. This world is full of assholes. FUCK.

[–]Herpderpys 0 points1 point ago

Such bullshit lies

[–]DerpWY 0 points1 point ago

Did you seriously just write that, fold it, and take a picture of it in your lap?

[–]Borkacabra 0 points1 point ago

At least your acid washed jeans are okay. There is no replacing those bad boys in 2012.

[–]kameljoe 1 point2 points ago

that shit makes me more mad. someone hit my buddys car and left a note saying, "i hit your car #sorrynotsorry"

[–]gibbygano 1 point2 points ago

This is so old it could vote on November 6th.

[–]haibane_rakka 0 points1 point ago

Serious question: Would the police fingerprint this note? Or is that beyond the scope of hit and run investigations?

[–]Veni_Vidi_Vici_24 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure a hit and run is considered a felony so they could take fingerprints but that's only good if he's already in the database.

That's my guess, at least.

[–]haibane_rakka 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the response. I know the culprit would have to be in the database, I just never know what constitutes a fingerprint scan since on tv you only see it done for break-ins and murder. themoreyouknow

[–]gn0xious 0 points1 point ago

just because your car was hit, doesn't mean you need to repost... sheesh...

[–]bluecornflower 0 points1 point ago

this note would result from poor driving, therefor the "he" is actually a "she".

[–]Veni_Vidi_Vici_24 -1 points0 points ago

Sorry, that wasn't funny enough to keep me from going into a Hulk Rage.

[–]connery78 1 point2 points ago

I'd be more concerned that you're still rocking Acid-washed jeans....

[–]pinear 0 points1 point ago

so good

[–]J05huaWa15h -2 points-1 points ago

I'm known as REPOST MAN! SCOURING REDDIT TO FIND REPOST! You have been tagged my friend.

[–]hayleyse 1 point2 points ago

Wow my tag was successful! I have you tagged as "Neck-beard" in bright yellow for being a dick on my post (and copy-and-pasting this exact same phrase everywhere). Troll status confirmed.

[–]Coney_Island_Hentai 2 points3 points ago

I'm known as RES MAN! SCOURING REDDIT TO FIND PEOPLE USING RES! You have been tagged my friend.

[–]hayleyse 0 points1 point ago

Haha you caught me!!

[–]Kirk_Redditor 0 points1 point ago

What kind of damage was done?

[–]TheNegativeEnt 6 points7 points ago

OP wouldn't know.

[–]Kirk_Redditor 0 points1 point ago

You can tell if there is a dent in your door or something.

[–]TheNegativeEnt 0 points1 point ago

well true, but OP didn't actually have anything happen to their car, this is an old post and OP is just taking credit. OP might not even own a car.

[–]Kirk_Redditor 0 points1 point ago

Karma conspiracy!

[–]rctsolid -1 points0 points ago

You realise literally everyone who goes on reddit has access to the internet, right? If you find something on the net, it's likely it has been seen before and is more than a repost, I've seen this image heaps of times years ago I think. Don't try and fool me!

[–]TigerWylde -1 points0 points ago

This never happened. You are a lying fuckwad and deserve death. Go die in two separate fires.

[–]lizeah -1 points0 points ago

It was probably a she.

[–]Eaniskanen -1 points0 points ago

Probably Asian

[–]SofaCommander 0 points1 point ago

This is a really old repost, but I like it. I was thinking about it just the other day when I accidentally scraped someone's car in a parking lot. I won't lie, I definitely thought about doing this for a second.

[–]Farbauti1 -2 points-1 points ago

i have done that lol

[–]bemenaker 0 points1 point ago

You're an asshole

[–]Farbauti1 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, but who wasn't when they were younger. this was years ago and I have evened up my Karma score, Now i just working on keeping positive karma locked away.