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1515
1516

Those damn penguins... (imgur.com)

submitted ago by devitodevito

all 90 comments
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[–]TmlzMiso 142 points143 points ago

If a penguin sends me an invitation to anything. Fuck everything else I'm going to Antarctica.

[–]waggle238 75 points76 points ago

That's what I thought, but when I finally did get my invitation the wedding had already happened the previous weekend! I wrote him and all I got back was "Sorry bro, male man must of gotten it their slow, you no how the post office is, thanks for the blender thogh."

[–]ani625 36 points37 points ago

Gaaahh.. the grammar, it burns.

[–]BobDucca 20 points21 points ago

Penguins don't proofread shit.

[–]Plasstik 15 points16 points ago

male man

Not sure if penguin misspelling or redundancy.

[–]Rapemyassholeplease 2 points3 points ago

Man, I know how'd id prank you.

[–]superherowithnopower 15 points16 points ago

Trick him into raping your asshole?

[–]yundot 11 points12 points ago

That'll show him.

[–]Chris08533 1 point2 points ago

Thats cold man

[–]Karma_Down 16 points17 points ago

FUCK PENGIUNS THERE ARE THE UGLIEST ANIMALS ON THE EARTH LOOK AT THIS PENGIUN http://i.imgur.com/6avr1.jpg

[–]CAPS_LOCK_POLICE 9 points10 points ago

I'LL NEED TO ISSUE YOU A CITATION FOR THOSE CAPITAL LETTERS. PRESS HARD, THERE ARE 3 COPIES!

[–]HigherFive 17 points18 points ago

WHAT AN UGLY MOTHERFUCKER I WAS GONNA SAY I WOULDNT GO TO HIS WEDDING BUT NO ONE WOULD WANT TO MARRY HIM ANYWAY

[–]RapedByKesha 3 points4 points ago

HEY! THAT PENGUIN IS BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S BEEN THROUGH! WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT TO HIS FACE NEXT TIME? INSTEAD OF HIDING BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN.

[–]HigherFive 3 points4 points ago

BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT MORE LIKE TURNED INSIDE OUT SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT AND LIVER

[–]xhephaestusx -2 points-1 points ago

whooooaaahh calm down there buddy

[–]bad_penguin 5 points6 points ago

Dear TmlzMiso,

Your presence is requested in Antarctica for my...um...wedding. Please bring your wallet and/or valuables. My family will take good care of them during your stay, I promise.

Sincerely, bad_penguin

[–]TmlzMiso 4 points5 points ago

My time has come.

[–]chthonical 0 points1 point ago

Se til helvete og kom dere vekk. Det er ikke en pingviner, det er en slags ting! Det imiterer en pingviner, det er ikke virkelig! KOM DERE VEKK IDIOTER!!!

[–]LYING_PENGUIN 58 points59 points ago

Fuck everything about this. It's not true, I swear

[–]NotForMyNudes 5 points6 points ago

He's Danny DeVito, DON'T TRUST HIM.

[–]craftygnomes 30 points31 points ago

poorly proofread penguin pleasantries

[–]omgscottlikewoah 26 points27 points ago

Awesomely accurate alliterative assertion.

[–]BrockThrowaway 18 points19 points ago

really risky reddit reply

[–]Lottanubs 4 points5 points ago

Be brave, Brock-bro.

[–]SpaghettiLeftovers 1 point2 points ago

accidental anal atrocity

[–]craftygnomes 1 point2 points ago

Oops, open orifice

[–]Birdslapper 7 points8 points ago

this tisnt too tifficult

[–]alarumba 4 points5 points ago

What's what woo way.

[–]csgoodri 13 points14 points ago

I wonder what a penguin keyboard looks like, because if they just use standard ones I could see why they would have a hard time typing.

In other news, there is internet in Antarctica.

[–]waggle238 6 points7 points ago

Penguins dont use keyboards, they only use voice-to-text which is one of the reasons their letters are always poorly written

[–]Rapemyassholeplease 2 points3 points ago

It's more of chopping then typing.

[–]UncleTedGenneric 0 points1 point ago

I'm imagining a deep-tissue Keyboard Massage.

[–]Rapemyassholeplease 2 points3 points ago

I bet a penguin massage would be awesome.

[–]joannchilada 1 point2 points ago

I image something like this so they can flap around on it.

[–]daveyeah 4 points5 points ago

I can't be the only one that noticed someone with Devito in their name submitted a post about penguins and that is mildly humorous, right?

[–]adubs17 1 point2 points ago

nope--saw it, laughed to myself. it was a nice moment.

[–]steelpan 3 points4 points ago

What book is this from?

[–]Smitty963 6 points7 points ago

http://www.fupenguin.com/

[–]zahnza 3 points4 points ago

Penguins aren't bad people, horses are bad people.

[–]McBurger 11 points12 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Those damn penguins... 29coms 1140pts 4hrs funny
And you thought they were cute 3coms 79pts 1mo funny
The cold, hard truth about penguins. 171coms 1278pts 6mos funny
Damn Penguins 11coms 124pts 1yr funny
Who do penguins think they are?! 2coms 17pts 1yr funny
Those damn penguins! 5coms 122pts 1yr pics

source: karmadecay

[–]Stouts 5 points6 points ago

Then, if you do show up, you'll never hear the end of how much worse your tuxedo is than theirs.

[–]Baned0n -1 points0 points ago

If You Give a Penguin a Wedding Present by Laura Numeroff

[–]ASSHOLE_BY_NATURE 2 points3 points ago

Penguins think they're so fucking great.

[–]masterdebator88 1 point2 points ago

Anything with penguins must be read in Morgan Freemans' voice.

[–]uncleDamfee 0 points1 point ago

This doesn't make any sense. How would the penguins type emails?

[–]StopItRick 1 point2 points ago

TIL I am a penguin as I never proof read.

[–]rwbombc 2 points3 points ago

"It's too damn hot for a penguin to be out here!"

[–]griffith12 2 points3 points ago

"just walking around!"

[–]bodom2245 1 point2 points ago

"Here I come!"

[–]griffith12 2 points3 points ago

"No, Mista Madison, they are NO PENGUINS!"

[–]bodom2245 2 points3 points ago

"So sorry to interrupt! Pwocede."

[–]griffith12 0 points1 point ago

LEG.

[–]griffith12 0 points1 point ago

Is that it dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?

[–]1trkminds 1 point2 points ago

Read this in the voice of the narrator of the hitchikers guide to the galaxy.

[–]Duke_of_New_York 1 point2 points ago

Penguins also like to break bottles

[–]bzzhuh 1 point2 points ago

Hey it's F U PENGUIN!

Love that book

[–]MoonBearzzz -1 points0 points ago

Those damn reposts.

[–]Lampmonster1 0 points1 point ago

I got invited to a cake tasting. Mind you, I wasn't invited to the wedding, just a cake tasting. And it wasn't an away wedding. What on earth is that but a cheap attempt to get a gift out of me? You can't even invite me to the reception for a crappy meal, but I get a piece of cake and you get a gift. Fuck all that.

[–]Sinnic 0 points1 point ago

Fuckn' penguins.

[–]soapwater 0 points1 point ago

Haha, a made-up thing about penguins.

[–]BobDucca 0 points1 point ago

Did Mr. Popper write this?

[–]Dirk_Manly 0 points1 point ago

Read this as cold hard thrusts about penguins... Confused, but naturally intrigued.

[–]xgcfreaker 0 points1 point ago

Your username is relevant.

[–]turdburgler42 0 points1 point ago

That is basically the source of my intolerance for penguins

[–]smb510 0 points1 point ago

penguins also never get divorced.

[–]Slayergnome 0 points1 point ago

Wooo this is doubly racist cause penguins are both black and white.

[–]virak_john 0 points1 point ago

Lyle Lovett begs to differ.

http://vimeo.com/16148897

[–]zaprutertape 1 point2 points ago

fuck you penguin?

[–]mtball02 0 points1 point ago

Yes

[–]someguy73 1 point2 points ago

"i rzent that seitmeant"

-not a pengwin.

[–]JakanoryJones 0 points1 point ago

found waldo within 3 seconds.... no idea how..... im also drunk. I shall print screen and circle now for anyone who demands proof.

[–]robojobo5 0 points1 point ago

If I did show up, without a tuxedo, do you figure I'd be ostracized?

[–]Dac97 1 point2 points ago

I fucking love this book!

[–]A_Redhead 0 points1 point ago

Repost....I posted this already.

[–]Penguinswin3 0 points1 point ago

As a penguin, I sadly confirm

[–]varggutsonblue 0 points1 point ago

That's a generalization!

[–]black19 1 point2 points ago

I happen to know that penguins proofread

[–]letsplayyatzee 0 points1 point ago

I'm currently reading this book now.

[–]TheVoidImp 0 points1 point ago

Surprised it's not mentioning their plots against Larry.

[–]wardword 0 points1 point ago

The only penguin wedding I attended was at the Pawnee zoo, and it was fab-ul-ous!

[–]brakstone91 0 points1 point ago

All those sharp guys in Tuxedos getting married. If only America was as open minded as Antartica

[–]Odusei 1 point2 points ago

Please No:

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

[–]trampus1 2 points3 points ago

As a penguin i, find this to be offensive, and completley nontruthful.

[–]SoCo_cpp 0 points1 point ago

Repost is still not funny

[–]seconddealer -1 points0 points ago

I agree it's a repost but I disagree that it's not funny.

[–]Dirk_Manly -2 points-1 points ago

4422 people disagree

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