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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]mjh1088 1013 points1014 points ago

hmmmm that looks like red dirt. As a general rule. If you see red dirt in australia, It means you're going to see some fucked up shit. Stick to pavement and the grassy edges of the country for milder creatures that will only kill you slowly rather than eat you whole.

[–]Tridian 984 points985 points ago

Treat Australia like pokemon. Avoid tall grass, water and desert areas, and you probably won't meet too much that you don't want to.

[–]ktmfinx 789 points790 points ago

Also, never make direct eye contact with anyone. If you do, they will want to battle you.

[–]trentandlana 877 points878 points ago

!

[–]choopie 625 points626 points ago

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

[–]da1hobo 350 points351 points ago

[–]yunox 151 points152 points ago

[–]InvaderPhantom 116 points117 points ago

...and what?! ...and what?!

[–]JayGatsby727 19 points20 points ago

and triangle, obviously.

[–]r4r4me 40 points41 points ago

easy .. to wear?

[–]mysticrudnin 22 points23 points ago

A girl in Black2/White2 says this about dresses. Neat throwback.

[–]Elismo 68 points69 points ago

Also avoid houses and buildings, check your shoes and sheets, pillow cases, blankets, and beds, and don't open doors when it rains.

[–]Tridian 34 points35 points ago

Mostly just avoid sheds and check any items left outside. Indoor areas thankfully are relatively safe. Although you still run across some lovely sized huntsman spiders and the world's most indestructible cockroaches in where I live.

[–]Mr_Ected 52 points53 points ago

So, fuck living in Australia pretty much.

[–]Tridian 45 points46 points ago

Fuck living anywhere else! Australia is essentially the greatest place on Earth! Name an environment and it probably exists somewhere here, from desert to rainforest to snowy mountain ranges! We use sensible metric systems of measurement, our money is easily identifiable and doesn't melt in water, and we don't have to deal with pesky travel documents when crossing distances that take you through twelve countries elsewhere in the world!

[–]Fzero21 108 points109 points ago

You mean like a more dangerous Canada.

[–]Tridian 16 points17 points ago

I was unaware that Canada had deserts or tropical regions.

After a quick Google, you don't, but I'll let it slide for your other good qualities.

[–]citationmustang 24 points25 points ago

We do have deserts, and sub-tropical environments in the summer.

[–]Tridian 3 points4 points ago

Alright, my quick search was unclear about the status as "true" deserts.

[–]Chondriac 7 points8 points ago

They have temperate rainforests which are way cooler and less mainstream.

[–]eMan117 2 points3 points ago

what happens if you open your door when it rains 0.0

[–]Meathe 13 points14 points ago

Also leaf litter in forests (you already covered desert) on the eastern and southern coasts. Death Adders like to hide under it.

[–]Tridian 16 points17 points ago

Overly manly Australian: Death adder? The only deaths they add to are my kill count!

[–]wwoodhur 8 points9 points ago

uhhh wouldn't that sound better if you changed it from

The only deaths they add to are my kill count

to

The only deaths they add are to my kill count? (cause then you can say adder...)

[–]djramrod 2 points3 points ago

Treat it like pokemon? That would mean that I would run blindly into the tall grass and caves, looking for adventure. I wouldn't last a day in Australia.

[–]Fawful 112 points113 points ago

Sydney Funnel Web says fuck you and sits underwater in your pool for 6 hours.

Alive.

[–]baelwulf 106 points107 points ago

They also are known to hide on the back of toilet paper rolls, just waiting to be rolled over as you wipe your ass.

Source: Happened to me.

[–]Aurilion 72 points73 points ago

Fuck it, i'll wipe with my boxers and then get a fresh pair from my air tight underwear safe.

[–]cuppincayk 29 points30 points ago

Just use three shells

[–]kobat16 10 points11 points ago

hahaha he doesn't know how to use the three sea shells.

[–]Aurilion 8 points9 points ago

Excuse me a moment, I have an idea.

You lousy fucking piece of shit....You have been fined one credit for...fuck

[–]Tridian 7 points8 points ago

Hah! You think solid objects matter to them.

They cannot be stopped... They will find a way in.

[–]triscut900 5 points6 points ago

Which is located in the funnel web spider infested pool... EDIT: i read that as underwater, not underwear..

[–]kingdubp 85 points86 points ago

Aaannnd that's it, Australia is officially removed from my bucket list

[–]waigl 80 points81 points ago

Why don't you just move it to the last place on your bucket list?

  • edit: typo corrected

[–]dweebcentric 292 points293 points ago

that lizard is wearing that snake like a sock.

[–]kore464 107 points108 points ago

Oh damn, sure had me fooled for a minute! I thought for sure the lizard was a goner, but now I see that it was just trying to keep warm.

[–]turkeyfox 17 points18 points ago

Taun-Taun style

[–]dietbroccoli 108 points109 points ago

Luke-warm.

[–]sceptic_ali 20 points21 points ago

i had the same thought, except in my thought, the "sock" was replaced with a legging.

[–]turkletom 33 points34 points ago

I like your perspective.

[–]slurred_bird 4 points5 points ago

That's what I thought when I first saw it. "Hey some guy put a sock on a lizard!"

[–]LewisKiniski 157 points158 points ago

I just had an epiphany - snakes are really vulnerable while eating.

Q: Are there any animals that opportunistically take snakes as prey while the snake is attempting to eat?

Edit: Also, what are they, and how badly does it end for them when they attempt to eat something that ate something they likely can't digest?

Edit 2: Is there some sort of regurgitation/abort sequence if the snake is attacked mid-meal?

[–]Tridian 103 points104 points ago

When a snake feels threatened (at least some of them I think) it can rapidly disgorge anything that it is currently or has previously eaten. I'm not entirely sure what constitutes "rapidly" but it's a hell of a lot faster than it going down. I presume they don't eat that fast to avoid damage to their digestive tract, but when the alternative is being eaten, I think a sore throat is a small price to pay.

[–]MalHeartsNutmeg 58 points59 points ago

Ever see that video some dipshit tourist took of an African rock python eating an antelope? It has it most of the way down, then throws the whole thing up in about 20 seconds. Don't know if this is a standard amount of time or not.

Edit: After rewatching the video it actually says it takes a couple of minutes, they just time lapsed it for the sake of the show, so all I remembered was it quickly coming up.

[–]DrGregulator 115 points116 points ago

UNTAMED AND UNCUT

Eleventy-zillion cuts

[–]frumperino 4 points5 points ago

give me David Attenborough any day over this shit. What the fuck happened to television

[–]gnbman 75 points76 points ago

[–]Bohzee 23 points24 points ago

omg they make a long story out of likely 20 seconds instead of simply coming to the point...

[–]RaptorX 3 points4 points ago

thats why i stopped watching tv a LONG time ago...

[–]Dissidius 26 points27 points ago

I don't know how you Americans watch TV, every show I've seen that's American is just hyping one thing which is only like 3 seconds of footage and uses like 10 minutes of air time for that 3 seconds, replaying what comes before it it over and over, with lame interviews no one cares about, before finally showing the ending which is usually anticlimactic...

[–]esoomcol 12 points13 points ago

Yep, don't worry, there are some Americans who realize how ridiculous it is as well. I can't watch most shows anymore because of it. I think it's gotten worse over the years too.

[–]Black_Market_Baby 2 points3 points ago

Ugh, okay, if I'm ever eaten by a snake, everybody crowd around that fucker, quick!

[–]TalkingBackAgain 4 points5 points ago

A lot can happen in 20 seconds.

20 seconds in a life or death fight is eternity.

[–]kaleidoscope_pie 48 points49 points ago

They are pretty vulnerable when they're digesting something big like this. It also has it's advantages if the snake is in captivity. I know that at Australia Zoo, they use an oppurtunity like this to give the snake a medical check up or to do any quick fixes like stitches without fear of being bitten. They wait until the snake has it's meal half swallowed because that's the point of no return and the snake has to finish what it started.

As for what could prey on them in the wild while this is happening....I do not know exactly. But one thing that is evident in the photos is that the snake could be at risk from humans. It looks like the snake is on a dirt road and they've marked out his location so hopefully it won't be hit by a car. I could see somebody freaking out and killing it without hesitation actually. It is a bit of a shock for some people.

[–]MeloJelo 62 points63 points ago

As for what could prey on them in the wild while this is happening....I do not know exactly.

Dingos. And probably lots of other terrible Australian wildlife I don't know about. Is there some kind of venomous eagle that could swoop down and grab it, maybe?

It is a bit of a shock for some people.

For Australians? Isn't this like an everyday thing for them?

[–]xyphanite 88 points89 points ago

I was imagining some larger lizard that comes to kill it, and then as that lizard is starting to feed on its snake-wrapped lizard, a spider the size of a quarter walks up and instantly kills the giant skake-wrapped lizard eating lizard with one bite. The spider then slowly starts to convert all of the venomized bodies into more godzilla killing spiders. The spiders can fly too because fuck it, Australia.

[–]hambeast521 11 points12 points ago

This was both hilarious and terrifying.

[–]Lderan 3 points4 points ago

Then all you need is venomous flying bears to take out the spiders

[–]ktmfinx 43 points44 points ago

Venomous eagle, yes. Shock, no. Source: Australian.

[–]GreatGreenSaurian 33 points34 points ago

Venomous. Eagle.
That doesn't sound good at all.

[–]Vanillagorilla_42 29 points30 points ago

I for one welcome our new Venomeagle Overlords.

[–]bonite 11 points12 points ago

Kookaburras eat snakes. What else do you think they're laughing maniacally about?

[–]Frankeh 6 points7 points ago

Dingos live off human babies. Everyone knows this.

[–]agha0013 1362 points1363 points ago

You know, the post would have made a lot more sense if you'd put the pics in chonological order. Just makes it seem like the snake coughed up the lizzard a few times to try again

[–]Zonata 627 points628 points ago

Which, to be fair, may have happened! Snakes often regurgitate meals that they find too large, and it's possible that this guy just didn't want to give up.

[–]Fawful 1432 points1433 points ago

Just keep goin you can do it lil nigga

[–]NeverAppropriate 353 points354 points ago

GOD DAMNIT! I was gone for 3 days and now I am seeing this everywhere. Please help me to understand this latest meme!

[–]molmr 707 points708 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/4m7Gs.jpg it was on the front page a few days ago :)

[–]NeverAppropriate 229 points230 points ago

Thank you

[–]Captunfortunate 171 points172 points ago

Your comment was inappropriate

[–]NeverAppropriate 300 points301 points ago

FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

[–]hubris105 127 points128 points ago

That WAS appropriate. I don't know what to believe!

[–]IveGot2Words4YouSTFU 13 points14 points ago

Believe in bacon. That's all you really need.

[–]JustAnotherIshmael 21 points22 points ago

Very (in)appropriate username

[–]JustAnotherIsaac 20 points21 points ago

Well this is awkward

[–]NeverAppropriate 19 points20 points ago

also ... it is a blessing and a curse

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 57 points58 points ago

Countdown to overused is at T minus next time I see it

[–]puterTDI 174 points175 points ago

it's ok lil nigga, you'll get over it.

[–]ofcoursemyhorse 0 points1 point ago

I'm glad he didn't give up, photo 19 looks a full, white Christmas stocking. oh yummy.

[–]skrimyr 482 points483 points ago

He didn't put them in order because they weren't in order when they were taken 9 months ago* http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/o2fgl/my_brother_in_law_sent_me_this_series_of_photos/

*It was even a repost then

[–]Brian_is_trilla 97 points98 points ago

OP's got a few roos loose in the top paddock alright

[–]CJEEC_Studios 54 points55 points ago

To be fair, this guy probably didn't know about this 9 months ago and is simply re-posting these pics not for karma but to share his feelings with the rest of reddit.

I think from now on we just shouldn't post things we found on imgur to reddit.

[–]IveGot2Words4YouSTFU 76 points77 points ago

Right... no one does things for karma around here.

[–]HortiMan 30 points31 points ago

[–]mark331 77 points78 points ago

Yeah

[–]mykicksncharge 44 points45 points ago

You have the power to make anyone soft head nod.

[–]ZippoS 23 points24 points ago

[–]TheAmazingMart 5 points6 points ago

Maybe it did?

[–]POSTS_GIFS 605 points606 points ago

[–]FM22 191 points192 points ago

That's so Perdverted.

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 28 points29 points ago

Ya' Heard?

[–]thechilipepper0 14 points15 points ago

I honestly thought this was parks and rec joke footage at first

[–]Shiara_cw 222 points223 points ago

That's no good without the video. The sound he makes...

Edit: I don't know why the video was removed, but here's a new link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDl-COKWb6Q

[–]fireinthesky7 3 points4 points ago

You'd think the lizard had jumped down his throat.

[–]swedel 139 points140 points ago

Thats the sound of choking on your own courage

[–]audioverb 34 points35 points ago

Never happens to me I chew my courage thoroughly.

[–]One-guy 18 points19 points ago

:/

This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams and commercially deceptive content.

[–]RogueTaco 45 points46 points ago

The Texas Rat Snake can actually be up to six feet long. Youtube has a zero tolerance policy for deception

[–]Bob_Lob_Law_Law_Blog 64 points65 points ago

That looks like Perd Hapley

[–]obviousstatement 15 points16 points ago

Is that Perd Hapley?

[–]CubemonkeyNYC 3 points4 points ago

"The funny thing about that statement is, it's a statement that includes...my name." - P Hap 2012

[–]clubdepizza 18 points19 points ago

Yeah, that guy should never go to Australia. Hell, even Arizona.

[–]unpopular_speech 15 points16 points ago

That was Dallas, Texas.

Sad that Texans have gotten so tame that Arizona is now considered hostile country.

[–]ServerGeek 148 points149 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goanna

Because surely, I'm not the only one that had no clue what the fuck a Goanna was.

[–]poptart88 109 points110 points ago

That explains the lizard in "The Rescuers Down Under."

[–]bunsinburner 68 points69 points ago

Joanna the Goanna...c'mon.

[–]kore464 9 points10 points ago

Mother f....... o.O

[–]ckygrl24 3 points4 points ago

Goanna boanna banana fana foanna fee fi fo goanna!

[–]Deanobeast 0 points1 point ago

Goanna Humper Joe Cartoon is OLD internet

[–]TheZbeast 18 points19 points ago

Maybe the lizard took the snakes eggs.

[–]LetsMango 8 points9 points ago

Watched that last night!

[–]Sugreev2001 36 points37 points ago

One of Disney's most underrated.The original wasn't too bad either imo.

[–]flutterarity 10 points11 points ago

That movie scared me when I was little, I was paranoid of getting kidnapped.

[–]ur_a_fag_bro 5 points6 points ago

I always thought McLeach was gonna kidnap me.

[–]mvduin 6 points7 points ago

IMO that guy was Disney's best villain.

[–]mattieo123 14 points15 points ago

Awwhh I thought you were gona post about the snake.... That's why I came here.

[–]a_can_of_solo 10 points11 points ago

by Australian standards they're cute.

[–]CommandADelete 42 points43 points ago

Western Australia? I've driven Perth to Broome before and seen some shit.

[–]kore464 52 points53 points ago

As someone who's currently sitting on the pot, I can see some too.

Edit: When I look down under.

[–]7_legged_spider 436 points437 points ago

Reminds me of a girl I knew in college.

[–]muzza001 72 points73 points ago

[–]Quaternions 169 points170 points ago

Why would this confirm that you live in the wrong country, if I saw that live, I would say that I was living in the right country.

[–]SquishMitt3n 244 points245 points ago

Yeah I was confused. No Australian would ever say this. When I see a dead roo splattered across the road, I don't pee my pants and wish I could move to a different country; I grab my bread and make a snack (like a normal person).

[–]thirdfounder 121 points122 points ago

the real secret of vegemite.

[–]RochelleH 15 points16 points ago

As an Australian, I am obligated to downvote any post making fun of Vegemite. I didn't this time, but consider that a warning, ya cheeky cunt.

[–]SixshooteR32 27 points28 points ago

wait a tic.. you would eat roo-roadkill? Even if you didn't hit it? I've heard of keeping the deer you hit in America, but damn you aussies go hard.

[–]Possiblyreef 214 points215 points ago

go hard or go home

cunt

[–]neoKushan 31 points32 points ago

Sorry, but when I read "Even if you didn't hit it?" I can't shake the feeling that you're implying it's ok to eat roadkill after you've attempted to fuck it.

[–]London_Bridge 30 points31 points ago

What kind of snake?

[–]HuhConfused 40 points41 points ago

[–]jason221 2 points3 points ago

If this snake is the reason the OP thinks he's living in the wrong country, he's obviously never seen any of the venomous snakes that live in Australia.

[–]fallinouttadabox 27 points28 points ago

This takes all the hard work out of having Lizard-stuffed-Snake for dinner.

[–]SinisterKid 298 points299 points ago

Snakes...hare today, goanna tomorrow.

[–]Gothams_Knight 63 points64 points ago

Have you considered stand up?

[–]SinisterKid 247 points248 points ago

Are you making fun of me because I'm in a wheelchair?

[–]EleventyTwo 38 points39 points ago

Nobody said you couldn't do stand up while sitting down.

[–]bltsmith 32 points33 points ago

You can do stand up. You just can't walk.

[–]bloodcurdling 38 points39 points ago

I think its nice the road was blocked so the snake could continue his business.

[–]trshtehdsh 9 points10 points ago

Good guy Australia. Sees a snake devouring something, does something to protect it. I like a country that can respect the importance of all levels of the food chain.

[–]blazeofglory94 18 points19 points ago

C'mon man, this is the exact reason I love living in Aus! Where else can you see a snake swallow a goanna whole!!

[–]Ibitemynails 30 points31 points ago

Reddit

[–]Peregrine21591 32 points33 points ago

And that's what we call a 'food baby'

[–]nobody2000 14 points15 points ago

Weird. That snake looks identical to the one here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/90g8b/snake_observed_while_eating_goanna_for_5_hours_pic/

Edit: and from 3 years ago! That is either some top-notch re-staging of a picture or some top-notch reposting.

[–]Kinglink 2 points3 points ago

But that was three years ago.. surely it's not the same snake.. and the same pictures.. I mean just to repost some crap to get karma? Who'd do something like that?

[–]EllisLankster 49 points50 points ago

Can anyone else hear Steve Irwin? " 'ave a look at this! 'ere in Aw'straya, we 'ave some of the most beautiful predators in the world. Right here we have a beautiful snake makin' a meal outta this unfortunate Goanna. Let me see if I can just put my finger in the cloaca... And it's a lovely Sheila! Giving up 'er life so that the snake can go on!"

[–]Stingray88 23 points24 points ago

I miss Steve...

...he was fun to play with.

[–]itsableeder 5 points6 points ago

This moment must have felt so good for you.

[–]2legit2acquit 10 points11 points ago

Apparently no gag reflex

[–]ittybittyblonde14 9 points10 points ago

[–]Lilgaybike 33 points34 points ago

Just imagine what its anus would be like when it poops it out.

[–]CHAAAZZZZ 44 points45 points ago

Just go through the pictures in reverse

[–]ejkhabibi 17 points18 points ago

Ok, thats it. Im done for the day... Goodnight internet.

And its only 8:52 am

[–]SquishMitt3n 29 points30 points ago

You know, I never thought of snakes having anus's.....

[–]kcgiant06 20 points21 points ago

That's a good thing.

[–]TheJackalope231 18 points19 points ago

*anuses. It's plural, not possessive.

[–]funilingus 7 points8 points ago

When I was a kid I used to think about the consequences of the hungry hungry hippos not having lower mandibles for chewing. Fingers crossed they have big, marble shaped arseholes.

These are important issues.

[–]jaynoj 8 points9 points ago

Looks like someone needs to break out the port and cigars.

[–]ItsCrutches 7 points8 points ago

This is actually in Arizona. It is a Desert Kingsnake eating a Monitor Lizard.

http://misspegasus.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/snake-eats-monitor-lizard/

[–]strongcoffee 23 points24 points ago

Here's a forum post from 2010 that shows the exact same pictures. What a coincidence!

Seriously, we don't care if these pictures are old, but at least give credit to the original photographer.

[–]heymusiclover 6 points7 points ago

would sir be interested in a wafer thin mint?

[–]cyclonesworld 3 points4 points ago

At least the snake put up some safety markers so he wouldn't get hit by a road train while eating an afternoon snack. Pretty courteous snake.

[–]great_gape 4 points5 points ago

That last picture is how I feel when I'm on the road and stop in a town that only has a MC Donald's open.

[–]amsaiM 2 points3 points ago

But you guys have bad ass metal! Arguably some of the best that comes out is from the land down under!

[–]Coypop 4 points5 points ago

The best part is that those blokes put up those warning posts so the snake could enjoy his meal.

[–]DooDooBrownz 14 points15 points ago

some call it deja vu, i call it a repost

[–]whaddyahave 8 points9 points ago

Damn nature! You scary!

[–]shurdi3 3 points4 points ago

That snake is not gonna eat again for the rest of its life

[–]Lillipout 3 points4 points ago

circle of life

[–]DelayedSquid 3 points4 points ago

Living in WA, this shit is as common as a sunny day. More importantly you guys should see what the Goanna can do to its prey

[–]verbal_diarrhea_guy 3 points4 points ago

I like how there are caution stakes and reflective apparatus placed around the hungry snake so that drivers and passerby-ers can be aware of the meal time.

[–]RichardSaunders 3 points4 points ago

i've seen plenty of pictures and videos like this, but what i still haven't seen is footage of how the snake manages to move around the next fews days while it's got an entire goat/pig/dog/person/baby alligator/etc in its stomach.

[–]Rustyfist 3 points4 points ago

How the fuck do snakes do this? Where does it all go? Why do we never see giant snake shit?

[–]GrammerPants 3 points4 points ago

In a few months that snake will take the best dump of its life.

[–]KingPhine 6 points7 points ago

Well did you catch it? You couldve eaten it and had goanna stuffed snaked. Wrapped in bacon.

[–]Grechyweiners 2 points3 points ago

Wow love living here :D....Its not like it was a brown or a red belly.. It was just a python.

[–]fashigady 2 points3 points ago

My google- and wiki-fu suggest this is an Aspidites melanocephalus, or Black-Headed Python

[–]moyako 3 points4 points ago

I wonder if that poor snake had McDonald's remorse afterwards

[–]Up_2_No_Good 0 points1 point ago

Bad Australia! Bad!

[–]ismoketabacco 2 points3 points ago

Australia, not a land to be fucked with.

[–]Jeffsofast 2 points3 points ago

Are you a surveyor?

[–]workingbored 2 points3 points ago

How long would it take to digest it?

[–]gastropoda 2 points3 points ago

A lizard? That little thing? Try an entire deer.

[–]skinsfan55 0 points1 point ago

Move to Murica! Our local fauna is much less deadly. Sure, we might have the occasional grizzly or mountain lion but urban sprawl and manifest destiny pushed them to the most wild corners of the country. Besides, the average Aussie would laugh in the face of a cuddly griz and place it in a headlock if attacked.

[–]dildo_cd0 3 points4 points ago

Maybe. But they'd be running back to Australia after seeing Ann Coulter, Honey Boo Boo and Donald Trump.

[–]Mungo_Clump 2 points3 points ago

You should have done a time-lapse video, then it would look like the lizard was pulling on a very fetching stripy leotard.

[–]bigred326 2 points3 points ago

smaller bites augustus; save some room for later... (this was all i could think of when viewing these photos)

[–]crazymonkey159 3 points4 points ago

Snake what are you doing? Snake? Snake STAHP!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Sinujutsu 2 points3 points ago

I love the wet-floor style warning signs around it. "Warning, Snake devouring a lizard! Watch your shit."

[–]compmaster88 2 points3 points ago

Like stretching a sock over a fat lady's leg.

[–]LaconianStrategos 2 points3 points ago

This adds to my suspicion that if there ever will be a zombie apocalypse, it will leave Australia the fuck alone.

[–]PixieBomb 2 points3 points ago

...This happens frequently enough that you guys just put up brightly-colored ribbon-stick things so people know "OH HEY I shouldn't drive, bicycle, or run there, I may accidentally run into a giant fucking snake eating a monstrous goddamn lizard"?