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top 200 commentsshow all 364

[–]SurSpence 1006 points1007 points ago

Hannah, Adam, Kylie, Aliyah... preteens, overly confident 13 y/o boy who on any other day would be terrified of girls... yep. This is a bar mitzvah photo.

[–]rhayward 303 points304 points ago

Plus, he got his ps3 on Friday. Posted December 19th December 13th. I'm guessing it was a Hannukah Present.

[–]SurSpence 163 points164 points ago

This is an astute observation. Excellent deduction.

[–]ASlyGuy 76 points77 points ago

Thank you, Watson.

[–]SurSpence 47 points48 points ago

What? No. I've already established on a nearby thread that I am Sherlock Holmestein.

[–]AAlexanderK 16 points17 points ago

Tagged as such, for good measure.

[–]Sortech 8 points9 points ago

What colour are you choosing? I feel we should sync up.

[–]AAlexanderK 4 points5 points ago

Chose grey, this will do nicely later down the road.

[–]Watson36K 1 point2 points ago

You rang?

[–]Trebay 2 points3 points ago

where the fuck did you get that date from?

[–]YoureTheVest 2 points3 points ago

Looks like the picture was posted in July, but the compliments didn't start until December...

[–]Harflin 1 point2 points ago

Do you mean the 13th?

[–]kevoizjawesome 1 point2 points ago

But it wasn't posted on December 19th...

[–]gbsolo12 1 point2 points ago

it's channukah. you have to put the ccccchhhhhhhhhhhhh on it

[–]Purple_Drank 116 points117 points ago

Notice the hoverhands.

[–]trampus1 88 points89 points ago

He's not hoverhanding the one on the left who pretty much has to be his sister.

[–]jacqueofalltrades 23 points24 points ago

It's the only logical conclusion.

[–]Alanna77 19 points20 points ago

They have the same nose.

[–]Monso 3 points4 points ago

He is most definitely hoverhanding the girl on his left. The flash exposes the gap from his hand to her arm.

[–]thewestwind 2 points3 points ago

'The' left is not 'his' left. As if you didn't know. ಠ_ಠ

[–]Monso 8 points9 points ago

I presumed we were talking about the more attracti- shut up, Monso.

Stop right there. I am too wise for this.

[–]TargaryenBacon 4 points5 points ago

Why don't you have a seat over there,MR.Bear...we'll be with you in a minute

[–]zeshtorm 1 point2 points ago

Wow good eye.

[–]puffgiant19 345 points346 points ago

Ha I got Jew :0 so much karma

[–]Yatrix 51 points52 points ago

Sir, come size the birthday suit please

[–]HouseOfHouse 11 points12 points ago

...I got Jew babe.

[–]mfter 16 points17 points ago

He's definitely got some Joosian ancestry.

[–]pbugg2 0 points1 point ago

Dat beak

[–]Picklwarrior 29 points30 points ago

I have a hard time believing the girl on the left isn't his sister. Or at least related to him somehow

[–]SirDigbyChknCaesar 64 points65 points ago

I think it's pretty obvious that they're brother and sister. They both look... smashing.

[–]benbairen 0 points1 point ago

I know all three of them personally. The girl on the left is not his sister. However, the girl on the left and the boy are both jewish. The boy has a twin brother and he is in my gym and physics class. He's actually pretty smart.

[–]bvanman 264 points265 points ago

Come on, not even going to mention the nose?

[–]hiphoprising 298 points299 points ago

oh shit i thought that was a beak

[–]InstigatorNY 44 points45 points ago

Half Bird, Half aMANzing

[–]JRWM3 33 points34 points ago

Turrible.

[–]j9d2 8 points9 points ago

Turtleble

[–]Bushy-Top 12 points13 points ago

Total dick nose.

[–]AREYOUSauRuS 7 points8 points ago

it's not? I was just about to post this to /r/birdswitharms

[–]stew7 0 points1 point ago

haha holy shit

[–]SurSpence 40 points41 points ago

I'm using deductive reasoning and empirical evidence, not stereotypes. I'm like Sherlock Holmestein.

[–]Verius 18 points19 points ago

Wow, his nose looks so jewish I actually thought it's shopped for whatever reason.

[–]kratatatz 0 points1 point ago

This kid is prob just at the age when most newbies begin looking at Reddit... and this is what he's going to find.

[–]ASlyGuy 2 points3 points ago

I wish they hadn't cropped the picture so close so I could see where that nose ended.

POW! Take that, PC culture!

[–]vidyagames 0 points1 point ago

He looks like rainman crossed with master splinter

[–]Klacksaft 54 points55 points ago

You took way too long to get to that conclusion, when his nose is the most jewish thing I've ever seen.

[–]SurSpence 25 points26 points ago

Him being a Jew does not a bar-mitzvah make.

[–]Klacksaft 47 points48 points ago

A young Jew touching girls does though.

[–]glonq 8 points9 points ago

That nose needs a circumcision.

[–]bq909 2 points3 points ago

A Jewish Benjamin button

[–]sickoldman123 2 points3 points ago

Jam, butter, milk, bread, Hannah, Adam, Kylie, Aliyah.... Wait, no... This is Schindler's list.

[–]Pazimov 0 points1 point ago

His nose kinda gave it away.

[–]mrdrsmashington123 2 points3 points ago

[–]insertnameaqui 1 point2 points ago

Adam has a major hover-hand.

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

He's a young, Jewish Lee Van Cleef.

[–]brandorobot 0 points1 point ago

You've got it all wrong. The ladies are attracted to his sweet call of duty skillz.

[–]dotonaked 0 points1 point ago

I love how you immediately recognize this kid is a Jew and literally the whole internet upvotes you.

[–]cheebaking 0 points1 point ago

Oh man. I totally got confused. I had a bunch of links open, I thought this was some kinda feel good post. Like these girls, instead of making fun of him, were being nice and pretending to listen to him about his new games console. Turns out I'm the idiot.

[–]zarlanga -1 points0 points ago

i was the 1000 upvote. Where is my prize or my computer virus?

[–]chesZilla 0 points1 point ago

I think given face shape of the girl on left, she's his sister, and given similarities in brow and skull shape in the girl on the right, it's his cousin.

[–]krad0n 261 points262 points ago

Got that hover hand goin.

[–]blizzy461 49 points50 points ago

so close, yet so far.

[–]garlicdeath 33 points34 points ago

Except on his sister.

[–]TheRinger1976 231 points232 points ago

He's like a prepubescent Mr. Burns...

[–]kihadat 34 points35 points ago

Excellent.

[–]PJSeeds 9 points10 points ago

He looks like one of the goblins/questionable jewish racial stereotypes who work at Gringotts in the Harry Potter movies

[–]iquitinternet 30 points31 points ago

I was thinking Michael cera and mr. Burns love child.

[–]NZZQ 1 point2 points ago

I was thinking Bill Nye.

[–]wiwawa 235 points236 points ago

Dude...... Girl on left (his right) is so obviously his sister wtf.

[–]InstigatorNY 132 points133 points ago

Could just be another Fellow Tribe Member

[–]Gurkaan 19 points20 points ago

Can tell by the beak

[–]wiwawa 4 points5 points ago

That's how I saw it.

[–]olsmobile 10 points11 points ago

and he has a hover hand going on the right.

[–]maggiemoore2013 2 points3 points ago

Waaay too similar to not be related..

[–]TRAUMAjunkie 129 points130 points ago

A "woman" under each arm and he's concerned about his level on CoD. Yeah, he'll be on here in a year or so.

[–]wanderso24 102 points103 points ago

A year or so?? He posted this.

[–]JustTheAverageJoe 26 points27 points ago

It was on 4chan yesterday, he must really hate himself.

[–]sgtpppr 25 points26 points ago

Being a pre-teen Jew on 4chan must be like Anne Frank strolling through Auschwitz.

[–]rainmanj9 3 points4 points ago

without a coat!

[–]Wheelchairdawg 142 points143 points ago

[–]dethkarz 23 points24 points ago

Hehuhuhehuuhheuuhh......

[–]AATroop 2 points3 points ago

WHERE'S MY PANCAKES?

[–]Deavan 86 points87 points ago

Wait a minute... How deep are we in... DOES ANYONE KNOW THE WAY BACK TO THE FRONT PAGE?

[–]Clamburglar 18 points19 points ago

He nose nothing about girls

[–]barefoot_bob 23 points24 points ago

whoaah that coool

Live it up, Adam. You'll never hear these words again.

[–]heshroot 36 points37 points ago

Total future babe on the right.

[–]PairofDoctors 2 points3 points ago

thought it, didnt wanna say it

[–]free2me_ipad 17 points18 points ago

Wincest!

[–]wardamnreddit 13 points14 points ago

Observation: This man has a very pointy nose.

[–]Spaz_Mah_Tazz 1 point2 points ago

Definitely has the ability to cut tomatoes with that thing.

[–]Trent124 72 points73 points ago

That is one ugly mofo.

[–]ahladun 56 points57 points ago

He still gets more girls than you, Trent.

[–]SirFadakar 53 points54 points ago

Damn Trent you got served.

[–]debman 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, what CoD level are you, Trent? Have you even prestiged?

[–]dr7164 3 points4 points ago

See post title.

[–]CuddleZombie6 3 points4 points ago

Looks like a young Martin Short.

[–]Baridi 13 points14 points ago

Mr. Burns, age 16.

[–]marshw11 9 points10 points ago

This kid looks like mike krzyzewski's bastard child.

[–]Atario 3 points4 points ago

The repeated vowels make it deliciously sarcastic.

[–]RussianDoctorTrustU 1 point2 points ago

We've got a case of the hover hand here!

[–]FenrirIII 3 points4 points ago

A double-dose.

[–]BewilderedAlbatross 0 points1 point ago

Dat nose...

[–]joben2087 10 points11 points ago

This kid goes to my school and I was actually at the party where this picture is taken. I am not saying I would be doing anything different if I was in your position, but this kid deals with a lot of shit on a day to day basis. He is constantly made fun of and the few people who he thinks are his friends just hang out with him to make fun of him behind his back. The last thing he needs right now is to go on reddit and find hundreds of people ripping on him.

[–]OhNoItsAHonky 9 points10 points ago

More evidence kids shouldn't BE on Reddit.

[–]89rovi 2 points3 points ago

God dammit, not with this shit again. How is it further evidence? You're just looking for a comment that has something remotely to do with younger people and Reddit, and you seize the opportunity to bash everyone under the age of 16 on Reddit. Why?

[–]BigOleBlack 3 points4 points ago

As seen on 4Chan last night. Nice try Reddit.

[–]ahrima 2 points3 points ago

Looks like a young villain in a disney cartoon.

[–]sukicat 0 points1 point ago

Martin Short?

[–]aSimpleMan 0 points1 point ago

Yeah you can't impress girls my age with video game stats anymore. : (

[–]dogphishinhead 0 points1 point ago

hover hand in full effect.

[–]thepretty 0 points1 point ago

Why were none of those Facebook comments about that creepy smile?

[–]DukeCanada 0 points1 point ago

Its Randal from recess!

[–]LeonHRodriguez 0 points1 point ago

It's a good time to be Adam, these days

[–]Your_Antithesis 0 points1 point ago

A valid candidate for /r/cringe.

[–]elmasur 2 points3 points ago

...how is this funny?

[–]goodbye9hello10 1 point2 points ago

That kid is unbelievably ugly.

[–]mastertres -1 points0 points ago

Has anyone else noticed his smile? It's freaky.

[–]LordXenu40 -1 points0 points ago

Was I the only one that noticed the hover hands...

[–]Bil28 5 points6 points ago

Someone faceswap this please.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]nooneisreal 18 points19 points ago

Wow. His little sister really benefited from that swap. Geez, it actually looks natural. Can't stop laughing at that other girl's new face.

[–]Imsoo 16 points17 points ago

[–]Geogaddi_ 1 point2 points ago

Pretty sure that's a young Aphex Twin on the right.

[–]antag4123 1 point2 points ago

This is the first time I've seen someone benefit from a face swap.

[–]poleethman 4 points5 points ago

Either label these FB or leave it on facebook.

[–]Reticulin 3 points4 points ago

that nose......

[–]RaichuALoveS0ng 1 point2 points ago

Looks like a penis..

[–]The_Poop_Shooter -1 points0 points ago

Dat Hoverhand.

[–]Chugabum -1 points0 points ago

Can't wait till this kid is in college

[–]Daffan -1 points0 points ago

hahahha

[–]TimeTravelMishap -1 points0 points ago

oh the spaghetti

[–]Aldrahill -1 points0 points ago

I am so confused by what happened in this picture... I get it's likely a bar-mitzvah, but why does he randomly talk about his new games?

[–]LooksLikeANewAccount -1 points0 points ago

He had nothing else to say to Kylie so he talked about call of duty to make it seem less awkward. That's bad.

[–]Sarandis12 -1 points0 points ago

He has to be a Millionaire

[–]Dr_Devious -1 points0 points ago

Look at dem hover hands.

[–]frozenkiller7 -1 points0 points ago

you know, i think that this is the only time in my life i can ever call somebody a troll because they actually looks like one

[–]nail1r -1 points0 points ago

Good for him.

[–]yuze_ -1 points0 points ago

He genuinely looks like an evil jew.

[–]FlavorousShawty 0 points1 point ago

dat nose

[–]magicmurph 0 points1 point ago

He looks like that narc kid from Recess.

[–]tomius 0 points1 point ago

Someone shop the girls out and put some wings or a cape or something!!

[–]Downvotes_Facebook 0 points1 point ago

Leave it on Facebook

[–]grape_drink 0 points1 point ago

The king stay the king..

[–]kritt 0 points1 point ago

:>

[–]maidenari 1 point2 points ago

[–]TheBarioth 1 point2 points ago

They let him out of Gringotts?

[–]MrxPeaches 1 point2 points ago

Goblin shark i don't know why but goblin shark.

[–]zair33ka 1 point2 points ago

face that could stop a clock

[–]snarkhunter 0 points1 point ago

That dude is totally getting dry-humped later.

[–]teeelo 0 points1 point ago

Girl on left MUST be the sister

[–]glemmstengal 0 points1 point ago

oh my god this picture had me laughing for like 30+ sec, thanks for posting it

[–]spartan4333 0 points1 point ago

His left hand is bigger than his right hand, you know what that means.

[–]Skwee 0 points1 point ago

double hoverhand

[–]smoochieboochies 0 points1 point ago

It's official: Reddit = 4chan

Is there a Reddit just for people over 25 years old? You know... for grown ups?

[–]MagicMurderBean 0 points1 point ago

His face is seriously creepy man. I would just say "that's cool" to everything he says because I ain't gonna fuck with no lil demon nigga.

[–]Magikarp125 -1 points0 points ago

Adam looks like a fucking pedophile, lol

[–]MAGIC_SCHOOL_BLUNTS 0 points1 point ago

He is Hover Handing so hard right now

[–]Stingerr 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone think he looks kids like Bill Nye?

[–]mphatik 0 points1 point ago

Dat nose

[–]Jessicaquinn -1 points0 points ago

Adams face is pretty creepy.

[–]trollarcrepublican 0 points1 point ago

As a 14 year old boy without a girlfriend I fucking hate the game.

[–]craftglue 0 points1 point ago

This looks like a 13 year old Anthony Weiner.

[–]BionicBaal 0 points1 point ago

I want to see a face-swap of this.

[–]xdanknastyx -1 points0 points ago

The fuck is wrong with his nose?

[–]youreacuntbecause 0 points1 point ago

that girl on the right is gonna grow up to suck a ton of dongs

[–]Bencool 0 points1 point ago

A: you're twelve B: repost

[–]Timberg 0 points1 point ago

Master level hover hand

[–]dgd765 0 points1 point ago

The king of the hover hand

[–]beemario 0 points1 point ago

Wow level 15...

[–]MasterMeme 0 points1 point ago

Look at those hover-hands. LOOK.

[–]MythOfLight -1 points0 points ago

This is the most middle school thing I have ever seen.

[–]fooreddit 1 point2 points ago

That seems like a good kid. Be nice.

[–]awesomej96 1 point2 points ago

that looks like his sister on the left...

[–]crypnotiq 0 points1 point ago

Look at those hovering hands!

[–]JazzyDan 0 points1 point ago

The game...

[–]ConfusedDuck 0 points1 point ago

[–]420Qween 0 points1 point ago

"woaaah, that's coooool." What girls say when they couldn't care less.

[–]scd17 0 points1 point ago

that kid must be rich

[–]cgillett 1 point2 points ago

I simultaneously love and hate this kid.

[–]eljahvidon 0 points1 point ago

hover hand level over 9000

[–]ppfftt 0 points1 point ago

perhaps he's got some horrid disease which is why aliyah is telling him he looks great, when anyone with eyes can tell that he looks fucking scary.

[–]mythicalmarine 0 points1 point ago

Adams freaking Spocky

[–]ittakesacrane 0 points1 point ago

looks like a very young dustin hoffman. creepy.

[–]digivolution 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who's impression was that the boy is mentally challenged? The gils are giving him really big compliments and the way Kylie responds to his modern warfare post seems like she's talking to a little kid. Just my take. OP, do you actually know the people in the photo?

[–]skyrimjob34 0 points1 point ago

His gamer tag better be "Hachachacha...cha cha cha"

Looks like Durante

[–]CabinWussell 0 points1 point ago

So if you had a facebook from age 13 you could go back and re-live all those awkward moments?

[–]Haugse34 0 points1 point ago

I too, chose the thug life

[–]smartbomb7 0 points1 point ago

Martin Short ftw

[–]Phistagon 0 points1 point ago

pretty sure this guy is the model for all that Hamas propaganda

[–]Eat_Game_Fap 0 points1 point ago

Got a real Zack vibe from this. Warning, this is cringe central
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWD0vMrCc6Y

[–]strangesplatr -1 points0 points ago

his nose! its like a vulture

[–]Splarnst 0 points1 point ago

2009?

[–]fatchicho 0 points1 point ago

How did I know the second i clicked comments there would be jew jokes and nose jokes? Oh reddit...so racist.

[–]Kylix_ 0 points1 point ago

Hover Hand Level: Jewish.

[–]Roomy 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit, he's got a beak. It's like he's super-jew. Like the stereotype Kyle's cousin character from South Park.

That smile and nose are almost unreal.

[–]dakotacharlie 0 points1 point ago

[–]benbairen 0 points1 point ago

Wow. Considering I know all three of them personally this is not going to end well.

[–]mdjohnso5 0 points1 point ago

modern warfare 2 has 10 prestiges..