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all 150 comments

[–]supersirj 447 points448 points ago

My friend actaully took this picture. The shark is dead.

Proof: http://imgur.com/lgeS5

[–]desull 42 points43 points ago

This should be at the top... Do you know OP..?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SoloWing1 2 points3 points ago

Don't believe Ondores lies!

[–]obikirk 0 points1 point ago

WHY IS THIS NOT A THING!?

[–]Blou_Aap[S] 55 points56 points ago

Nope. Got the pic in the mail from my dad. No idea how he got it, but he said this is how he would shit him self.

[–]zzzacs 49 points50 points ago

then op must be your dad.

[–]Blou_Aap[S] 96 points97 points ago

How can I be my own dad?

[–]massoutput 27 points28 points ago

Don't know, but this is how you can be your own grandpa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VxLQZPqI2M&feature=related

Edit: better version.

[–]swmrh911 14 points15 points ago

Phillip J Fry is is own Grandpa

[–]SucculentSoap 3 points4 points ago

[–]theguywithacomputer -1 points0 points ago

WE BROKE IT

[–]impablomations 5 points6 points ago

In Red Dwarf, Lister is his own dad. Concieved via test tube, he goes back in time to leave 'himself' to be found as an orphan.

[–]niko2000 3 points4 points ago

Haveyou seen the new season yet? There is an episode where Lister celebrates Fathers day and gets presents for himself. Great stuff.

[–]pibroch 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for Red Dwarf.

[–]Bootleg_Fireworks 3 points4 points ago

J....Jesus?

[–]morkoq -2 points-1 points ago

incest?

[–]supersirj 5 points6 points ago

No, I don't know OP. My friend was looking over my shoulder while I was looking at this picture on reddit and he told me that he took the picture. I found the other photo on his facebook.

[–]likethephoenix 3 points4 points ago

austin?

[–]supersirj 4 points5 points ago

I'm not Austin nor do I know him, but I've been told that's the name of the guy in the picture.

[–]Blou_Aap[S] 7 points8 points ago

Looks like a Black Tip.

[–]IIdsandsII 37 points38 points ago

That's what she said.

[–]grrrtotes 6 points7 points ago

KA-POW!

[–]TijuanaTacoMonster -5 points-4 points ago

your mom would know

[–]TwystedWeb 1 point2 points ago

Looks more like a altantic spinner shark to me, but it's a bit tough to tell.

[–]Ranger_X 2 points3 points ago

Now I'm sad...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

regardless, that's a great title for it.

[–]kunoburesu 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, this only proves it's dead if we assume your friend isn't a dumbass.

[–]sid2112 -5 points-4 points ago

Still pissed in the water he was standing in, nasty.

[–]JAfball77 32 points33 points ago

Why not just piss off the dock?

[–]TijuanaTacoMonster 42 points43 points ago

do docks even get mad?

[–]WorshipThyBacon 15 points16 points ago

Right ?? Why go INTO the water to pee?

[–]Stemnin 18 points19 points ago

Landjellyfish sting.

[–]danguro 0 points1 point ago

and get my foot covered in piss water? ಠ_ಠ

[–]tawattwaffle 10 points11 points ago

When I piss into a lake, I want to be sure to get that piss on myself too.

[–]Qw3rtyP0iuy 2 points3 points ago

Feet were cold

[–]trukn 63 points64 points ago

Hmmm, buddy doesn't notice a sizeable shark coming up behind him..... better take a picture!

Friends are the best.

[–]BankerWhoLeavesAt420 18 points19 points ago

it's nighttime so my guess is that they didn't know until the flash revealed it.

[–]EagleEyeInTheSky -1 points0 points ago

lol, let's just take a picture of my friend peeing into the water!

[–]Wilcows 5 points6 points ago

They probably didn't know either

[–]IHaveAScatFetishAMA 9 points10 points ago

It's not a real shark.

Edit: Real shark, just dead.

[–]Denies_Errything 4 points5 points ago

Real shark or not, I'd like to know when something is about to bite me.

[–]Majinboob 12 points13 points ago

AS FAR AS I KNOW FAKE SHARKS ARE INCAPABLE OF THE BITE REFLEX. UNLESS BUILT IN. IN WHICH CASE CARRY THE FUCK ON.

[–]Mokeez 3 points4 points ago

Calm brown

[–]PretendImGoku 0 points1 point ago

Pink jiggly demon!

[–]Cynikal818 -2 points-1 points ago

so do you like the taste of shit...the smell...or both?

[–]adrianmonk 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, he could at least alert him of what's going on. Maybe yell something like, "Dude, get out of the water! Urine danger!"

[–]muffinmanjr 13 points14 points ago

Good night sweet prince.

[–]BZLuck 0 points1 point ago

Sweet Prince Albert?

[–]atcaskstrength 5 points6 points ago

Who was taking this picture?

[–]Distantly_Fellated 43 points44 points ago

Another shark.

[–]atcaskstrength 30 points31 points ago

So that explains this guy!

[–]matthank 1 point2 points ago

It's sharks all the way down.

[–]23rabidkittens 1 point2 points ago

Sharkception.

[–]forevabronze 0 points1 point ago

better question how he didnt' see the shark when he got into the water?

[–]VintageOctopus 5 points6 points ago

Looks like the ocean already has a little bit of both, that shark's been on his game lately.

[–]p3petersen 5 points6 points ago

Bear Grylls Shark? Just likes urine.

[–]boomerfreak1 3 points4 points ago

a case where white shorts may not have been the best idea after all

[–]Dropping_fruits 1 point2 points ago

Seems like I'll have to do it then.

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Oh shit... 24coms 144pts 5mos WTF
Oh shit... 10coms 41pts 5mos pics

source: karmadecay

[–]Secretly_a_Bear 0 points1 point ago

While I don't love these posts, I do find it quite entertaining that this link creates the /r/funny, /r/WTF, and /r/pics trifecta...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

who cares? i never saw it.

[–]ShockerOnShockStreet 12 points13 points ago

Looks like a nurse shark. Moderate danger. At that depth he's just lucky it wasn't bull shark. There would only be a picture of him bleeding profusely from a stump.

[–]RDub3685 15 points16 points ago

That's not a nurse shark, the first dorsal fin is too large and they don't normally venture into water this shallow. It's some sort of requiem shark, a group that comprises 60% of all shark species. Sorry I couldn't narrow it down further!

[–]sgtpppr 7 points8 points ago

People have this fear of Great Whites and the other big sharks, but (in the US at least), Bull Sharks cause the vast majority of shark attacks. They're hostile, they bite first, and are territorial (instead of just hunting for food as most sharks do). Jaws was actually based on a series of shark attacks in NJ centered around a pack of bull sharks. Even crazier, Bull Sharks have some freshwater tolerance and can go into freshwater for short periods of time.

[–]rodentdp 3 points4 points ago

Which is why I'm staying the hell away from Florida.

[–]Snowblindyeti 15 points16 points ago

Sharks are some of the least dangerous things you'll find in the waters of florida. Drunk boaters and dumbasses fishing where people swim are a lot more dangerous than pretty much any animal in the water. Just like I've almost been shot by a redneck who doesn't have any idea how to actually hunt a gator but I've never had a problem with a gator because I don't fuck with them.

TL;DR: I'm sort of defensive of florida, wildlife is cool, and people are dumbshits.

[–]pyronarwhal 2 points3 points ago

I've always wanted to live in Florida, you're a lucky guy.

[–]Snowblindyeti 7 points8 points ago

It's a great place if you stick to the less populated areas but seriously Miami is nothing like what you see on tv avoid it like the plague.

[–]pyronarwhal 2 points3 points ago

I drove through awhile ago with my family and right on the border of Florida and Alabama seems heavenly. What part do you live in?

[–]Snowblindyeti 2 points3 points ago

I'm about an hour north of Miami. Easy access to both coasts, the keys, Orlando, okeechobee, plus I'm out in the middle of nowhere so I'm not dealing with the crappy sides of florida. There's a lot of nice places further north though. Ocala is pretty cool if you don't mind a more southern feel.

[–]pyronarwhal 1 point2 points ago

Sounds amazing!

[–]aforwardroll 1 point2 points ago

You caught a glimpse, it really is! State parks, springs, sink holes, swamps, amazing secluded beaches that are not developed. What's funny is that if potential Florida tourists watched non-biased informational videos on the different regions, they would probably want to visit the panhandle. Some of the people can be a little undereducated, but they make up for it in friendliness(mostly). All the suckers all go to shit ass Orlando and Miami. Gross :)

[–]pyronarwhal 0 points1 point ago

Definitely sounds like my kind of place!

[–]tomtermite 0 points1 point ago

NJ

Stay the hell away from New Jersey

Signed, /jaws

[–]sgtpppr 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, they love warm, shallow water near brackish river deltas. They have no problem swimming around in knee-deep water. Florida is a great place to find them.

[–]Tjonke 0 points1 point ago

What shark doesn't bite first? Never heard of a sharkspecies that actually waits for you to bite them first and then retaliate.

[–]austin3i62 47 points48 points ago

Nurse sharks are pretty much zero danger. They call them nurse sharks for a reason. Cuz when they find lost children in the water they nurse them and train them in the art of being sharklike, just like them. It's these sharkpeople that you have to watch out for. FOR FUCK'S SAKE MAN DON'T COMMENT IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR SHIT.

[–]0l01o1ol0 1 point2 points ago

Sharkpeople are fine, it's those damned Lobstermen with their sonic disruptors you have to watch out for.

[–]Blou_Aap[S] 0 points1 point ago

[–]qqumber 0 points1 point ago

These sharkpeople? fixed the stupidity

[–]a_very_stupid_guy 5 points6 points ago

Best descript ever, might want to check your formatting

[–]qqumber 1 point2 points ago

yeah you right lol, fixed it

[–]austin3i62 1 point2 points ago

2.8 rating out of 10? MUST ORDER NOW.

[–]qqumber 1 point2 points ago

Should watch it, it's what you'd expect from a scifi channel movie, so stupid you can't stop watching it kind of a thing.

[–]rodentdp 0 points1 point ago

I saw Jeffery Combs, and the thought did cross my mind.

[–]NoNeedForAName 1 point2 points ago

This is kind of off topic, but I clicked your link and noticed Velizar Binev was in that movie. I don't know who the hell that is, but the link was purple so I clicked it to figure out why I'd looked at his IMDB profile.

Dude has been in SharkMan, Raging Sharks, Shark Zone, and Shark Hunter. He's got some kind of hard on for shark movies, I think.

Or maybe it's just crappy animal movies, because there's also Octopus, Octopus 2, Spiders II, Python 2, Boa vs. Python, Mansquito, and Lake Placid 3.

[–]qqumber 0 points1 point ago

Oh god Mansquito....

[–]sharkfisher 3 points4 points ago

That's definitely not a nurse shark, nurse sharks are brown.

[–]EntityDamage 4 points5 points ago

Fuck Bullsharks...fuck them with a long knife.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Definitely not a nurse. Looks much more like a bull to me.

[–]Runnnnnnnnnn 0 points1 point ago

Not a bull, square nose would indicate tiger.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

No markings to indicate a tiger. I don't see a squareness of the nose.

[–]Runnnnnnnnnn 1 point2 points ago

Odd, the nose seems very square to me. Tiger stripes are not always very visible.

The only other thing I would guess is a dusky.

I don't think Ops shark is stout enough to be a bull, and again, the nose doesn't match up imo.

I'm not a shark expert, but I am a tec diver who has had many shark encounters.

I will say it is definitely not a nurse shark, which are of absolutely no danger unless you physically grab them and force a body part into their mouths.

Edit: Ops second picture looks quite a bit more like a Dusky Shark.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]zen_monkey 0 points1 point ago

Oh man. I thought he was about to get dragged off like bait on 10 lb test.

[–]chouffee 1 point2 points ago

Looks like a Black Tip

[–]JediLibrarian 9 points10 points ago

Here's a better way to turn 1 into 2 (mathmaticians will recognize the fallacy):

a = b

a2 = a*b

a2-b2 = a*b-b2

(a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b)

(a+b) = b

a+a = a

2a = a

2 = 1

[–]thefeend 17 points18 points ago

can't divid (a-b) because a=b so a-b=0 and and you can't divid by 0.

[–]Blou_Aap[S] 7 points8 points ago

1 x 2 = 2

[–]iampug 2 points3 points ago

Ah the classic. Spoilers below for those trying to solve.

a-b can't be divided by both sides because if a=b, then a-b is zero, and you cannot divide each side by zero.

[–]DaJared 2 points3 points ago

I am not a smart man.

[–]PUNKSLC 0 points1 point ago

I read the explanations below and understand now, but would it just be simpler to see that steps 1 and 5 are incongruous unless a and b equal zero?

[–]iampug 0 points1 point ago

Even if a and b equal zero, the proof is mathematically incorrect because between steps 4 and 5, a division by 0 occurred.

[–]gravesville -1 points0 points ago

Came here for a math joke. Was disappointed.

[–]NewWhirledOrder 2 points3 points ago

He's standing in his own pee.

[–]killswitchdh 0 points1 point ago

Seems dogs do come after you if you piss on something they already marked.

[–]ypsm 0 points1 point ago

Let's hope he doesn't have hematuria.

[–]loveandbaseketball 1 point2 points ago

Damn nature, you scary!

[–]facepump 0 points1 point ago

Judging by the color of the water I'm assuming he has already done both.

[–]ghosttoghost 1 point2 points ago

i waited five minutes for a gif to load

[–]rodentdp 4 points5 points ago

It is a gif. You didn't give it long enough or something. Check your connection and try again.

[–]SoMuchTimeWasted 0 points1 point ago

You just add 1, if I'm not mistaken.

[–]Evil_Dave_Letterman 0 points1 point ago

Goddamnit I came here looking for a way to turn ones in twos on paper. The damn things are the bane of my notetaking.

[–]Bonchovis 0 points1 point ago

Don't look now but....

[–]SMUT_ADDICT 0 points1 point ago

He is just pissing into an ocean of shit.

[–]Need_To_Sleep 0 points1 point ago

Was going to call bullshit on this, then saw supersirj's post. Looks like a boat ramp and they've just come back from a fishing trip and are fucking around

[–]matthank -1 points0 points ago

.

[–]swisherleigh 1 point2 points ago

I thought this was going to be a gif so i just stared at it and kept refreshing waiting for something to happen : /

[–]knumbknuts 0 points1 point ago

Looks like there's a lot of #2 in the water already.

[–]GreyFoxNinjaFan 0 points1 point ago

The shark would likely steer clear. They don't like urine.

[–]UnsureAbsolute 0 points1 point ago

Things taste better when they're not full of shit.

[–]Shit_On_My_Ass 0 points1 point ago

I stared at this picture for 5 minutes before realizing I wasn't a gif...

[–]Showtimex21 0 points1 point ago

Judging by the water it appears the number 2 has already taken place.

[–]T-REX_BONER 0 points1 point ago

The fuck, why didn't he just take a whiz off the bridge?

[–]sid2112 0 points1 point ago

Dude there's a dock, literally right there you could have peed off of. Fuckin Floridians.

[–]TK0SJ 0 points1 point ago

is he standing and peeing in a massive ocean of pee?

[–]Bizzatch 1 point2 points ago

Meh... He's got nothing to worry about...Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.

[–]Last_Gigolo 0 points1 point ago

From the shins down...

Pee.

[–]DangerZone3579 1 point2 points ago

[–]fanogen 0 points1 point ago

Why is that guy pissing in the water he is standing in? There is a dock fucking 5 feet to the right

[–]PeterChen87 0 points1 point ago

aww :( I came here assuming that the joke would be math-related ...

[–]Turles 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit.

[–]Vulcannon 1 point2 points ago

Looks to be a lot of piss in that water.

[–]DoctorHulk 0 points1 point ago

Magic!

[–]Upvote_and_Conquer 1 point2 points ago

Did anyone else wait for it to be a gif?

[–]Tryptophane 0 points1 point ago

How long had that guy been pissing for?!

[–]ChikiParm 0 points1 point ago

"Hey, don't move I gotta take a quick picture!!"

[–]kinkywhiteman 0 points1 point ago

daaaah num, dah num - duh num - dah num

[–]SamstA64 0 points1 point ago

That is a lot of piss

[–]CraigRoxwel 0 points1 point ago

You ever hold a piss long enough, it turned into a shit?

[–]IntrinSicks -1 points0 points ago

that looks like the dock on that drinkin island in cancun, there was tons of sharks and a bunch of drunk people having to walk from that dock, it was redonk

[–]reddit_god -1 points0 points ago

redonk

If this wasn't enough to convince everyone you're an idiot, the rest of your post was.

[–]cockyjeremy 1 point2 points ago

It's probably dead.

[–]jrgrahams 0 points1 point ago

Maybe a number three for some?