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all 49 comments

[–]wongabird 85 points86 points ago

Maybe he's watering those flowers with BOILING WATER

[–]silent_legion 101 points102 points ago

I think there's no boiling water here. He is keeping those flowers alive, but just barely. They are his captives, as he is the captive of his parents. They live their lives in the pottery cage he has created for them. He keeps them on the balcony so that they may see freedom, but never taste it. As he suffers, so shall the flowers.

[–]Dinoman979 11 points12 points ago

Dude, write a book!

[–]silent_legion 24 points25 points ago

Jacob awoke at the usual time on Saturday morning. As was sometimes his way, he kept his eyes tightly closed and imagined the realm he first saw this day would not be the butterfly and rainbow world his parents resided in. He had loved his parents in his own way at some point in his life, but those days were gone. Like dead leaves whisked away by a cold Autumn wind, so did Jacob’s love for his parents and all that they represented dissipate before the depth of his rage. As he opened his eyes slowly, hope turned to sorrow at the sight of the Dark Knight poster he had begged his mother for on the back of his bedroom door. Nothing had changed. Batman mocked him from the poster, “You will never be like me, your parents live and your sorrow will only grow.” it seemed to say. He sighed heavily as he slid his thin, pale legs off of the bed and felt his feet sink into the plush carpet. “Their carpet, not mine.”, he thought as he looked out at the foreboding world through the black hair that had fallen into his face. Flipping his hair aside with a deft motion that could only come with practice, he sought his uniform. Black. Yes, black will do just fine. “As dark on the outside as I feel on the inside.” Jacob whispered heavily as he donned the attire featuring the only souls on the planet who he thought would truly understand him. “Not enough …” he thought as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror above his oak nightstand. “I’m dead, also.” He proclaimed louder than he intended to as he squeezed the white face cream into his hand and smeared it with purpose. “There. Dead. Dark. Cold. That’s exactly what I am. Exactly what I want to be. What I should be.” Jacob thought. As he slid out the door into the hallway like a specter, a smell like salty death wafted to him from the kitchen. “Ugh, that bitch is cooking bacon.” Jacob retched as he thought about the raw, fatty flesh sizzling. He needed to escape, be free of this place. Fighting the urge to run, he moved towards the front door, but was not fast enough. “Sweetie! Would you please water the flowers for me when you go outside? I left the watering can by the door for you!” “Sure.” Jacob said, barely loud enough to be heard as he scooped it up angrily. Stepping out onto the porch he noticed the day was overcast. The universe understood his plight and had dressed itself accordingly as a show of empathy. Jacob almost smiled at the thought as he turned to the flowers. “I fucking hate you,” He whispered menacingly to the flowers as the water trickled over the indigo petals. “you will never be happy as long as I’m alive.”.

Best I can do on short notice.

*Edited for punctuation (thanks darkneo86). Mythbusters is on and I wrote this during a commercial break.

[–]Keyserchief 9 points10 points ago

Now write one where he goes back in time and fights the Romans

[–]silent_legion 11 points12 points ago

[–]Keyserchief 0 points1 point ago

I just wanted you to do a Rome Sweet Rome thing!

[–]silent_legion 0 points1 point ago

Oh yeah, legendary. I'm not exactly sure that this plot has that kind of potential. Thanks for the vote of confidence though!

[–]darkneo86 3 points4 points ago

"I fucking hate you," he whispered.

Most of it is good. Your quotation punctuation is lacking. A comma should generally precede the ending quotation, when coupled with a subject and verb, as above.

Still, good stuff. Great imagination.

[–]DOTS_EVERYWHERE 17 points18 points ago

Enter dark knight quote here.

[–]jlederluis 27 points28 points ago

This comes from this very old meme:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-HbPN6n2Gc

Translation: Jorge wants to be hardcore, and his mother won't let him.

[–]TylerHenry 1 point2 points ago

I saw this picture facebook months ago. If my math is correct that makes this picture about seven years old, but I'm no mathematician.

Also, memes aren't supposed to be posted to /r/funny

[–]ESTEBAN_ESTEBAN 0 points1 point ago

Damn well better be. That kid's fashion sense is from the 2006 era.

[–]OctaVariuM8 8 points9 points ago

IDK what you're talking about...that looks pretty brutal to me.

[–]mgrier123 1 point2 points ago

Go on over to /r/MetalMemes and you'll understand

[–]OctaVariuM8 3 points4 points ago

I know it's an old meme about the hardcore kid but his mom won't let him. I'm just saying, the title is kind of wrong.

[–]briguy182182 45 points46 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Jacob Wants To Be Brutal 121coms 777pts 6mos funny
Jacob Wants To Be Brutal. 283coms 1272pts 9mos funny
The sad truth about student metal fans... 16coms 153pts 5mos funny
These flowers are SO METAL! 5coms 59pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Acronomicon 12 points13 points ago

777

Brutal

[–]Cr3stfallen 3 points4 points ago

You definitely got OP this time!!

[–]iwtwe 1 point2 points ago

thankyou

[–]ref498 5 points6 points ago

Life is hard when you have put lipstick crosses on your arm.

[–]Deluminati 15 points16 points ago

He wants to be kvlt, not brutal.

[–]Fredigundo 4 points5 points ago

br00tal*
And yea, trve and kvlt frostbitten grimness

[–]LemonsForLimeaid 2 points3 points ago

emperor is awesome

[–]toddsmash 0 points1 point ago

this picture is starting to get like that fucking dancing baby

[–]jturkish 3 points4 points ago

i hate these pretty good smelling flowers, stupid flowers, here you go little cute flowers have some water

[–]thickrickdick 0 points1 point ago

more jpg please

[–]pastanate -2 points-1 points ago

repost

[–]desederis -1 points0 points ago

This my good sir, is a re-post on a grand scale.

[–]CumPumper 0 points1 point ago

I want this on a shirt.

[–]Snarky75 -1 points0 points ago

That is a girl!@

[–]Sonic_Excess 0 points1 point ago

And I feel This is the the perfect place for this... http://www.blackmetalthoth.com/sparetime.htm

[–]theshermometer 0 points1 point ago

As someone who lives in Scottsdale, AZ, this reminds me of the goth kids when I was in high school.

[–]ForeverADrum -1 points0 points ago

I laughed so hard.. When I saw this the first time..

[–]doodiewizard 0 points1 point ago

[–]Feesus -1 points0 points ago

REPOST.

[–]mangletron 0 points1 point ago

This picture needs to be inverted

[–]Lee13412 0 points1 point ago

[–]formula350 1 point2 points ago

gr1m or kvlt. definitely not br00tal

[–]BenJammin865 1 point2 points ago

Nathan Explosiooooooooooooon!!!

[–]Will_I_Fap_To_This_ 0 points1 point ago

YES

[–]asnof -1 points0 points ago

Thats not brutal, thats deathcore/metal

[–]ElThoro 0 points1 point ago

I want to say he should hang out with this guy, but he's far too cheerful.

[–]jackfrost2324 1 point2 points ago

I think the word you're looking for is "true kvlt"

[–]mgrier123 2 points3 points ago

Trve kvlt

FTFY