I literally came in here to say that. Now I'm kind of angry with you. But I guess I can put that behind me, since we have such a long past together. It would take a lot for me to forget everything we've been through. Those long nights by the fire, when the power went out and we had to burn old magazines for warmth. We tied them into tight rolls, using the few newspapers we could find as kindling, and called them ghetto Duraflame. They burned bright green and purple, along with the red, and we were afraid that we might be inhaling dangerous fumes. But it was just so cold. You gave me your extra-thick blanket. You were bigger than me, and less cold natured, so I guess it did make sense. But still, it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me.

That's only one of the times you've been there for me. There have been many; more than I could recount easily. You let me borrow your Super Nintendo when mine broke, so I could finish playing Final Fantasy III. They call it VI now, because Square finally admitted Japan exists, but I always think of it as III.

You let me eat half your lunch in elementary school, when a bully stole mine. Honestly, I hated it. Your mom mixed the jelly up with the peanut butter, and that really, really bothered me. They're supposed to be in separate layers! But I ate it anyway. Not because I was hungry; I could have waited until I got home. But because it was just so nice of you. I couldn't let a gesture like that be ignored. I mean, I'm sure I didn't think about it in exactly those words. I was seven years old, after all. But the thought was there.

Remember when we climbed Mount Baker? I wanted to go to Mount Rainier. After all, who's ever heard of Mount Baker? But you insisted. You said that Mount Rainier was just too crowded, and Baker was a similar type of climb. I gave in because I didn't want to argue; it had taken me so long to convince you to go that I didn't want to risk you leaving. But you were right. We saw a few other hikers, but nothing compared to the crowds I've seen in pictures of more popular mountains. It took us awhile, and we were both kind of out of shape, so it was kind of hard. (Nothing compared to some of those "real" mountains that I've heard you've climbed since then, but at the time it was a pretty good hike!) We took pictures, obviously, but I don't have mine anymore. I must have lost it at some point while switching computers... just missed the folder somehow when I was doing my backups. I haven't even looked for the pictures in years. I only realized just now, while typing this, that they're not on my computer. Not anywhere I see, at least. Do you still have them? It's know it's a long shot; just wanted to ask.

That's still the farthest away from home I've ever been. I hear that you lived for a couple years in Europe, just wandering. You always used to talk about doing something like that, but I never believed you'd actually do it. Out of all our little group, I figured that if anyone would actually move to Europe for a few years, it'd be Aaron. But then he had that mixup with the strippers and the Navy... It was almost two years afterwards when he finally shot himself, but I think we all know what day he really died.

But yeah. We sure did used to be close, you and I. I know we were friends since kindergarten, but after what happened in 9th grade, we were inseparable. Did you know I was always a little worried about that? You were so much cooler than me. Taller, more handsome. Better with the girls, or at least it seemed so to me. What if you really didn't even like me that much, and just felt obligated? What if you were always secretly annoyed with me, but just couldn't bring yourself to say something. Every time I called and asked if you wanted to hang out, and you said you had plans, I was sure that that was it. That I'd never see you again. That the good will I'd bought by giving my blood to your sister had finally run out, and that you just couldn't stand me anymore. Or maybe you had come to blame me, when she ended up dead anyway. Sure, it wasn't the disease that got her, and there's no way I could be held responsible for the street gang she decided to join, but guilt and blame are not always rational. Maybe it didn't matter that I didn't cause it; maybe it was my fault anyway. I know how stupid that sounds, but it's how I felt.

I guess... what I'm trying to say... is thank you. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I was annoying. Thank you for being my friend for real, not just as some form of karmic debt. Thank you for giving me your blanket. Thank you for going with me, on our adventures. Thank you for beating me up before I attacked that Secret Service officer. Thank you for shooting that bear. Thank you for half of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Just... thank you. After everything you've done for me, forgiving you for stealing my post is kind of easy.

I know it's been years since we've seen each other. It's hard to save money when you're in school. (Did I tell you I was back in school? Yeah. Working on my PhD in Religious Studies, at UNC Chapel Hill. You hate that school, heh.) But seriously; if you don't come back to the States before next Spring or so, I'll just have to come to Nepal and find you.

Hope the training is going well. Tell Shana I said hey, alright?

See you around.