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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]CDBSB 241 points242 points ago

What's the point of having a sword if you don't get it bloody from time to time?

[–]mazumi 86 points87 points ago

If period sex was talked about in the Song of Ice and Fire books, this line would have been in there.

[–]moondawg422 47 points48 points ago

I'm afraid to tell you there was period sex in it. EDIT: To elaborate, incestual period sex over their dead bastard son.

[–]inputsnap 28 points29 points ago

And this line was not in it.

[–]LadyFruitDoll 8 points9 points ago

I can't tell you how intensely disappointed I am by this fact.

Then again, how many books to go? GRRM has plenty of time to pop it in. (So to speak.)

[–]inputsnap 10 points11 points ago

[–]LetsTalkRampart 10 points11 points ago

There certainly was... in Baelor's Sept, in fact, between Jaime and Cersei right after Jaime returned to King's Landing.

[–]tritonice 2 points3 points ago

Wasn't it right next to <spoiler's> corpse as well?

EDIT: word

[–]MattyHchrist 2 points3 points ago

Period sex is talked about in ASOIAF.

[–]BigGay-AL 4 points5 points ago

There was a chapter in A Dance With Dragons where a noble lady recalls losing her virginity to a noble lord out of wedlock and she says something along the lines of "I still recall the way the blood of my maidenhead looked on his cock" She also said that he loved "bloody swords" and used it as a metaphor for his dick. So yeah....this essentially was in the series, and it was quite excessive.

[–]so_i_happened 25 points26 points ago

That doesn't sound like period sex. It sounds like her hymen tore.

[–]newloaf 13 points14 points ago

Magic the Gathering flavor text for some magic sword:

No sheath can hold what finds its home in flesh!

I took it to be an anti-condom statement.

[–]tehweave 234 points235 points ago

A real man will sail the red sea, matey!

[–]malaclypse 87 points88 points ago

Yar! Ye can swim and sail the Red Sea, just don't drink the water, matey!

[–]Stab-Master-Arson 53 points54 points ago

A wise man once told me. "When the red river flows, take the dirt road."

[–]tg01millmorer 2 points3 points ago

I think you'll find it rhymes better as: When the river's running red, take the dirt road instead

[–]Stab-Master-Arson 4 points5 points ago

Said the wiser man

[–]THEAdrian 30 points31 points ago

Or, if ye a landlubber, ye may choose to travel the dirt road!

[–]mainsworth 17 points18 points ago

Earn your red wings!

[–]takemedrunkimhomeKEG 12 points13 points ago

As a female who is currently on her period, my husband had to explain what this was.

[–]mainsworth 13 points14 points ago

Did he explain it with a visual display?

[–]takemedrunkimhomeKEG 13 points14 points ago

Hahah no. He won't:(

[–]mainsworth 7 points8 points ago

:|(

[–]RaveGod 6 points7 points ago

I'm not saying that being told the definition of this phrase when I was in high school turned me gay... but I'm not saying it didn't.

[–]kxq 22 points23 points ago

a man will sail the red sea, a real man will fall to his knees and drink from it.

[–]cheezy8 4 points5 points ago

Its really not as bad as everyone thinks!

[–]Bovaloe 262 points263 points ago

What's wrong with period sex?

[–]merglegurgle 228 points229 points ago

You're going to meet women with all sorts of feelings about their periods. Some are more inclined to engage in sex during that time, some will never do so, and some may give a "yes" or "no" to sex depending where they are at in their cycle or how they're feeling about that period at that time.

Think about it like when you have a little bit of a stomach ache--sometimes you may go, "meh, it's not that bad--let's do it anyway," but other times a similar pain may make you say "This is uncomfortable and I'd rather wait until this passes." Periods can be similar.

[–]ScarletSpeedster 43 points44 points ago

That stomach ache comparison is perfect, it explains so many period cock blockers.

[–]Lereas 50 points51 points ago

I was at a camp retreat in high school and we went to an amusement park. On the bus, I started getting a pinch in my stomach that turned into stabbing, unbearable pain by the time we got to the park. They took me to the nurse's station where they gave me some pepto and advil and I layed down curled into the fetal position.

My female friend came really close and said "Now remember, we women deal with feelings like this every month for a few days and we smile and go about our business. So when we do get pissed with you, remember that we feel like this"

I know not every period cramp is like stabbing pain for every woman, but gave me a new respect for it that I keep to this day.

[–]HookDragger 6 points7 points ago

And that female friend of yours was doing the equivalent of this

[–]Lereas 14 points15 points ago

Are you a female? I'm not really thinking my wife fakes the pain she displays when she's cramping.

[–]dja0794 16 points17 points ago

I think HookDragger's point was that the female friend was doing a huge favor for any girl that Lereas interacts with. By telling him about the pain, from then on he would be much better at understanding.

In the same fashion (albeit in a deceitful way) that Yahoo answers guy was doing a huge favor for the husband of the asker by knocking her off of the porn sniffing trail.

Although on a side note, I really don't understand hiding your porn from your SO. People need to chill the fuck out about porn.

[–]CruelMelody 4 points5 points ago

Porn: it's even better when you look at it together.

[–]HookDragger 2 points3 points ago

Porn: it's even better when you look at try it together.

[–]jontss 7 points8 points ago

I have been so ill I felt like I might not wake up the next morning.

Still wanted sex. This was recent and I'm in my very late 20's.

[–]advancenotice 31 points32 points ago

Some of us call those our thirties.

[–]Iggapoo 40 points41 points ago

Some women don't want sex on their period. They have cramps and it's uncomfortable for them. Others are actually hornier. Best to let her decide whether it's go or no go.

[–]happypolychaetes 14 points15 points ago

Yeah, I can't do period sex, at least not during the first few days where I'm cramping and the flow is fairly heavy. I just don't feel like having anyone mess around down there, it actually feels really sore and achy.

This is what I call blowjob week!

[–]wvboltslinger40k 5 points6 points ago

Some women, my SO included, are the one's turned off by it even if the men are fine with it (like me). For us its not the blood but the painful cramps period sex causes her.

[–]Le_Master 96 points97 points ago

The worst part about it to me is the chunks. I can handle the blood. But the chunks in the blood. Fuck.

[–]zt666 256 points257 points ago

Try bleeding it, motherfucker. That's hardcore.

[–]wizardbrigade 2 points3 points ago

I proudly upvoted this!

[–]kxq 23 points24 points ago

Heh, you are quite an observant fellow then

I just put a towel or two on the bed and we go at it in the more "normal" positions so no issues (side, her on her stomach, her riding me + facing me) w/ cramps, etc and neither me nor woman has to see blood/etc. I don't actually give a fuck, but usually I've found women are a bit self conscious even if I assure them that I don't think there's any issue whatsoever.

its only after sex that I even notice how much blood there is ... of course, it feels a bit different while having sex but again I'm too busy fuckin to notice!

[–]electric_zebra 63 points64 points ago

Oh, man up. A true warrior is not afraid to bloody his sword.

[–]Vincent__Vega 13 points14 points ago

Spoken like a true warrior. May Kahless guide us.

[–]Lereas 5 points6 points ago

Today is a good day to WTF IS THAT CHUNK?!

[–]MrWiggles2 9 points10 points ago

Uterine lining.

[–]Lereas 2 points3 points ago

.....I'm aware. You're about as amusing as Commander Data.

[–]kensomniac 2 points3 points ago

Nah, once you start listing the nutritional information is when it gets really bad.

[–]Shaggy9342 17 points18 points ago

I'm slightly confused by this. Either I have never paid close enough attention, or I've just been lucky enough to not encounter said chunks.

[–]meliaesc 51 points52 points ago

Don't pay attention.

[–]hasnopants 19 points20 points ago

the WORST thing you can do is look down.

[–]jerlasvegas 23 points24 points ago

I put a bag over my own head

[–]Poisoneded 26 points27 points ago

No wonder she agrees to it!

[–]Zhuul 18 points19 points ago

My best friend goes through her period like Sherman through Atlanta. One day she was cramping real bad and told me not to make her laugh, so naturally I made her laugh as much as I possibly could. Her revenge was to spend the rest of the day telling me what was happening to her uterus in real-time.

I learned more about chunky period blood that day than I ever wanted to.

[–]BlondeBibliophile 32 points33 points ago

The 'chunks' are blood clots. Some women don't have much clotting, or the clots are smaller. Woman with significant clotting are also often the ones with significant pain...for which orgasm is often an excellent treatment.

[–]Seicair 19 points20 points ago

I thought they were bits of lining.

[–]BlondeBibliophile 2 points3 points ago

It's essentially the same thing. The uterine lining is what's shedding and while it's not entirely made up of blood it's my understanding that it's the same coagulation process, which I assume is why they are referred to as clots. Not a Dr though.

[–]starlinguk 7 points8 points ago

For some orgasm may be an excellent treatment, but for others it's excruciating (contractions of the womb cause the period pains in the first place!).

[–]TheStinkySkunk 0 points1 point ago

Me too. I guess I didn't pay enough attention either.

[–]gtrogers 51 points52 points ago

I don't know if it's just me, but I can smell the blood afterward while I'm cleaning up. That subtle coppery smell that kinda weirds me out. Wiping off the chunks, too. I know it's natural and all, but personally... I'd just rather wait a few days before getting my groove on again.

[–]calfonso 40 points41 points ago

*irony smell

[–]kaysea112 22 points23 points ago

The girlfriend must be a Vulcan

[–]ShhITOKE 11 points12 points ago

Fascinating.

[–]deeptimeswimmer 7 points8 points ago

Or a horseshoe crab...

[–]DrShio 3 points4 points ago

Is the blood blue too?

[–]deeptimeswimmer 8 points9 points ago

Greenish-blue, depending on how much oxygen is in it. Its copper based, though, just like the vulcans....

[–]akatherder 17 points18 points ago

Irony smells like rain on your wedding day.

[–]raging_asshole 10 points11 points ago

Oh man, one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, picking up a girl on a hot summer day, she sits down on the hot leather seat, and after a second I can just smell blood. Worst car ride ever.

[–]glassescontacts 16 points17 points ago

I don't see why this would be that uncomfortable. Just the fact that you knew she was on her period?

[–]hnrqoliv182 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry

[–]LiquidxSnake 8 points9 points ago

Meh, get over it or take a shower right away. The communists being in the henhouse doesn't really bother me at all.

[–]ItWillBeMine 8 points9 points ago

All you have to do is avoid period sex from days 1-3 and call the rest of the 7-10 days fair game.

[–]LeopoldTheLlama 7 points8 points ago

...Most girls don't bleed for 7-10 days. Sure there are definitely exceptions, but the typical length is 4 to 6

[–]ItWillBeMine 8 points9 points ago

Well, I suppose I'm not most girls. Mine is a week plus a little extra. Lucky me.

[–]Untiedshoes 0 points1 point ago

Same here, mine are on average 6-8 days, maybe throw a 9-10 day one in there from time to time, every 28-31 days. When I was on birth control, it was still 6-8 days, but exactly every 28 days on the button. While it didn't lower the length of time for me, they were a hell of a lot lighter and more bearable. Too bad my family history of strokes and high blood pressure prevent me from being able to use the lowest estrogen dose of birth control without risks or succumbing to aura migraines.

Genetics fucking suck.

[–]TouchedByUncle[S] 13 points14 points ago

This.

I understand that even the best sailors must sail the Red Sea, but the fucking chunks man, and they're especially bad when they hide under the skin and surprise you later in the shower

[–]03Titanium 10 points11 points ago

I was fine reading up until this point.

[–]HoboViking 3 points4 points ago

Grow a beard to soak up the blood and catch the chunks.

[–]anyalicious 13 points14 points ago

I don't like having sex on my period. It hurts too much.

[–]1Turd_Ferguson1 21 points22 points ago

it winds up looking like a murder scene.

[–]pancakeman157 18 points19 points ago

What? Since when? I know she's bleeding out her cooter but that doesn't mean it has to get everywhere

[–]darkmafia069 6 points7 points ago

I'm with you my girl barely bleeds.....

[–]dangsos 8 points9 points ago

my wife only wants sex during ovulation and her period. It's never messy, it's like she just stops bleeding until were done then the flood gates open.

[–]SleeplessinOslo 11 points12 points ago

It does though, on the sheets... or you have to have lie on a "period towel" so that you don't make a mess out of your bed sheets...

[–]ZShaman 33 points34 points ago

shower homie always in the shower easiest and it does not become a murder scene afterwards lol

[–]Shaggy9342 8 points9 points ago

I don't know why anyone would ever downvote the idea of shower sex. People be crazy.

[–]kxq 21 points22 points ago

I hate shower sex. during periods, MAYBE ... but otherwise, its a really wretched situation because showers are slippery and water just washes away all the natural lubricants

[–]Parasthesia 32 points33 points ago

Slip

trip

bang head not genitals

die

[–]kxq 1 point2 points ago

well yeah ... of course a towel is necessary haha! a period towel is KEY. I keep a large black towel (I really don't care about blood / stains on any colored towel, but women get a bit self conscious)

[–]Bovaloe 28 points29 points ago

Meh, gotta shower in the morning anyway. Besides its not like blood is coming out like you sliced an artery, usually not that big of deal.

[–]Cocomaan 4 points5 points ago

some women don't like it. if men had vagina's, we wouldn't care.

[–]iamriot 46 points47 points ago

I don't know about you, but in my experience, women are more easily aroused on their period.

[–]SabreDeC 11 points12 points ago

I can confirm this. Higher hormone count = better sexy times.

Source = I has da whoo whoo.

[–]dracunculus 2 points3 points ago

I'm going to have to question the validity of your source. I've never heard of this Dr. Whoo-hoo.

[–]Cocomaan 4 points5 points ago

Without a doubt, yeah. I'm just saying that not all women like red riding. That doesn't mean they don't like a little flicking the bean during that time.

[–]Norma5tacy 2 points3 points ago

Same. I think biologically they're supposed to.

[–]tora22 10 points11 points ago

Um, no.. women typically get pregnant when they are ovulating which is mid-cycle. About the only time you can bone a chick and probably not have to worry about preggo is when she's starting her period.

Studies show women tend to be hornier and look for "bad boys" when they're ovulating and then look for "nice guys" the rest of the time.

[–]Brunis_Pistol 3 points4 points ago

+1 for the emphasis on probably, I've known some who had a close call because they didn't know it was still possible.

[–]emlgsh 0 points1 point ago

So what you're saying is that in the event of a pre-existing murder scene, period sex is A-OK?

[–]Dry_martini_SHAKEN 1 point2 points ago

Seriously! If you can walk through mud, you can fuck through blood.

[–]Bovaloe 0 points1 point ago

My inbox is blowing up over this, I understand it depends on the woman in regards to it. I've dated both types, last girl I was with got super horny on her period, girl before that, nope.

[–]joseph10000 4 points5 points ago

BLOOD COCK

[–]sgtpppr 19 points20 points ago

So, I guess we're in for a flood of comments from guys extolling the virtues of period sex. It must be Thursday.

[–]peace_off 74 points75 points ago

[–]jaewonz 7 points8 points ago

Fuck that shit.

[–]peace_off 31 points32 points ago

So you're into anal?

[–]jaewonz 10 points11 points ago

... Maybe.

[–]FritzMeister 35 points36 points ago

Granted posts like this are common, but even more common are the replies calling (male)OP out for implying period sex isn't going to happen. Do most people not stop to think that perhaps the OP(male) is willing and it's actually the GF who is unwilling, due to being self conscious or freaked out etc. If not then I guess I'll get downvoted to oblivion and the circle jerk will continue unabated.

[–]wvboltslinger40k 16 points17 points ago

I agree with you, lets add painful cramping to the list of reasons why the woman might not want period sex.

[–]Drofmum 62 points63 points ago

[–]CardboardHeatshield 18 points19 points ago

That silly cat just keeps trying over and over. You'd think he would learn.

[–]ChiefBromden 12 points13 points ago

ITT: people not caring about the joke and saying things like "what's wrong with period sex"?

[–]CuntJemima 17 points18 points ago

Nothing wrong with painting the pole.

[–]Norma5tacy 32 points33 points ago

"Fuck her in the period hole you idiot. What's the dilemma?"

[–]Balthanos 27 points28 points ago

That just means you get to finger paint before the main event.

[–]LadyFruitDoll 6 points7 points ago

I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at that.

DISCLAIMER: My laughter is not an indicator that this is a cool thing.

[–]MYDOGSTELLA 25 points26 points ago

Maybe it's just me, but the older I get, the less I care about period blood.

[–]innatetits 16 points17 points ago

Most guys are, I would hope. Its understandable that a 13 year old would be like "ewww gross" but then you grow up. Its natural, it happens to all women, and unless you're gay or plan to be forever alone, you need to get over it.

Edit to clarify: I'm not saying you need to be into period sex. I'm saying that the mention of periods or the sight of a box of tampons shouldn't make you all squeamish.

[–]ElGoddamnDorado 5 points6 points ago

Considering some women don't even like having sex on their period, I don't see how not caring for period sex makes you gay, 13 or "forever alone" (can we please stop using that god-awful phrase?).

[–]548789 0 points1 point ago

100% agreed; it seems to be an age thing. I'm 40 but my first time was at 18. I went down on her in the dark and never knew she was bleeding until I took a shower the next morning (yes, Jokerface).

[–]LiliBlume 3 points4 points ago

You couldnt taste it? There's no way you didnt taste that, everyone knows what blood tastes like.

[–]548789 3 points4 points ago

When you went down on a woman for the very first time ever...

Oops, sorry, I didn't specify that it was my first time for both -- cunnilingus and oral during period.

Anyway, no, it being dark and me not knowing what pussy was supposed to taste like.

[–]RandyMarshCT 5 points6 points ago

I'm the opposite. When I was younger I couldn't care less... I was just totally pumped to be fucking. Now that I've been married for 5 years, the sight of blood really turns me off. I still love to fuck just as much as I ever did, but blasting through sex without looking down at all just takes away from the whole experience. I suppose my wife having much more intense periods ever since my kid was born a year and a half ago might add to it. The first couple days are a bloodbath... and I'm just not man enough to take it anymore.

[–]kiddicus 11 points12 points ago

If the front door is locked, do you just stand outside waiting for it to open? No. You go in the backdoor, climb in an upstairs window, or borrow a key from the neighbor.

[–]HannahLilly 5 points6 points ago

How is this not the most up voted comment?!

[–]phudabulah 6 points7 points ago

She uses saran wrap instead of a tampon?

[–]cuntrag88 1 point2 points ago

I got towels!

[–]MrJ1NX 1 point2 points ago

I get the feeling most of these guys commenting don't have a girlfriend/wife or don't get laid very often. It's not always about the dude, ya know? They get bloated and crampy and usually don't enjoy it when they feel like that.

[–]Pelokt 38 points39 points ago

you know what would be really funny? if your title had anything to do with the gif.

[–]farfigneugan 16 points17 points ago

it has everything to do with the gif. Here I come, I'm coming in! Wait, NO I'M NOT

[–]SolidDexter 7 points8 points ago

Pussy.

[–]Toth201 0 points1 point ago

Plot twist: his girlfriend is actually still a virgin.

[–]jevmorgan 11 points12 points ago

I'll do you one better: All day, my fiancee and I had been IMing each other while at work, and she makes some big hints at sexytimes that were going to happen that evening (she doesn't initiate TOO often, but when she does, it's always welcome). Then, we had to go to some florist appointment related to wedding stuff, then we went home and made some dinner.

Then she got a stomach bug and ended up having diarrhea and was throwing up for about an hour.

Sooooooo yeah.

[–]Just2UpvoteU 16 points17 points ago

Chunky lube is sometimes a welcome change.

EDIT: I'm sorry.

[–]jevmorgan 12 points13 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]hnrqoliv182 4 points5 points ago

sigh upvote

[–]ichbinhungry 3 points4 points ago

As a woman, it's a bitch to cleanup afterwards. It's all on the inside of your thigh..ugh.

[–]MTknowsit 3 points4 points ago

It's like none of you people have ever heard of blow job and cuddle week.

[–]xyp 1 point2 points ago

So she saran-wraps her neither regions?

[–]dmowen 2 points3 points ago

definitely shouldn't have been eating when i chose to look at the comments...

[–]Zhuul 1 point2 points ago

Pfft, that's what shower sex is for.

[–]daglebagel 12 points13 points ago

Be a man and just do it. I work with guys twice my age (I'm 20) that won't even touch their wives or girlfriends if they're on their periods. Personally I don't give a shit, ill go in,down, up, around, and anything else.

[–]dunkdaddy 13 points14 points ago

You'll go down??? In, up, and around, sure, but down?

[–]thumbs27 2 points3 points ago

Am i the only one around here that doesn't fuck his girl when she's on her period!!!

[–]TheFightWithin 3 points4 points ago

Moments of confusion after being denied is that saddest part, :'( so sad

[–]dr_pepper_35 1 point2 points ago

[–]Coolbreezy 1 point2 points ago

That was the first time I've seen actual confusion on a cat's face.

[–]fe3o4 3 points4 points ago

Just like the cat, you should try the back door.

[–]moonman 1 point2 points ago

Should have tried the back door.

[–]SubcommanderShran 2 points3 points ago

Her mouth wasn't bleeding, was it?

[–]haplessabandon 0 points1 point ago

If you were trying really hard, you would have at least made a second run at it.

[–]miranasaurus 1 point2 points ago

do it anyway.

[–]gravytown 1 point2 points ago

Shower tiiiime!

[–]Kunkletown 0 points1 point ago

Inappropriate gif. That was clearly a pussy block. You were cock blocked. Show a cock trying to get through a pet door, and I'll laugh.

[–]HisRoyalHippo 1 point2 points ago

Alternate title: When I was trying really hard to seduce a girl this morning and she told me she still had her hymen.

[–]piss_artist 0 points1 point ago

My girlfriend didn't laugh as hard at this as I did.

[–]stanfan114 1 point2 points ago

[–]aurorasfr 0 points1 point ago

I just showed this to my boss, gif. part only, and her comment was, "Aw, poor thing... and he just keeps trying and trying and can't get in."

[–]Threedawg 0 points1 point ago

That is also how your seman feels every time you DO get to have sex..

[–]cloral 0 points1 point ago

You should cross-post this to /r/shittyreactiongifs.

[–]corbalt -1 points0 points ago

While you were doing that, someone put saran rap over your cat door?

[–]Jackrabbitnw67 0 points1 point ago

There's some kind of forcefield

[–]fergzzzz 0 points1 point ago

Your girlfriend's vagina has saran wrap on it?

[–]clonn 0 points1 point ago

So what? No condom and more fun.

[–]Dankycheese -1 points0 points ago

I don't get it

[–]Binsky89 0 points1 point ago

In the immortal words of Louis C.K., "Fuck her in the period hole."

[–]sladoid 0 points1 point ago

I love how one finger gets through..

[–]sladoid 0 points1 point ago

Do it anyways >:) that's why god invented towels. Didn't you hear?

[–]muhaku2 0 points1 point ago

Period sex is fine and dandy, but who here has actually STARTED a girl by going down on her? raises hand

[–]thegreatgazoo 0 points1 point ago

You must be a member of the Crips...

[–]TheKeibler 0 points1 point ago

Always fun to play against the Crimson Tide.

[–]Aavagadrro 0 points1 point ago

Hell that is almost the best time! A shower afterwards is nice, and a towel under her ass during, but otherwise rock on. Whats stopping you? A little red colored lube?

[–]Curtass -1 points0 points ago

That's mean (what you did to your cat, that is).
Downvote for you.

[–]LazyLouis -1 points0 points ago

Time to get those Red Wings!

[–]bassow 0 points1 point ago

You mean you used a condom?

[–]gbear84 0 points1 point ago

So the real question is what did you cut your hand on?

[–]DiabetesCOLE -1 points0 points ago

gotta earn your redwings

[–]distantstorm 0 points1 point ago

Blowjob week?

[–]meangrampa -1 points0 points ago

I dare you to mark the date on the calender.

[–]greatdegn91 -1 points0 points ago

I don't mind if there's ketchup on my hot dog as long as the bun is tight.

[–]jontss -1 points0 points ago

I always just try to get some oral or anal lovin'. Never works. We have sex relatively often when she's on her period, though. Sometimes she uses it as an excuse which never makes sense to me since it's not a problem for her 90% of the time.

[–]SpaceToaster -1 points0 points ago

Put that shit in your calendar, yo!

[–]moeshapoppins -1 points0 points ago

that's the shark week no one wants