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1498
1499

I'm 7 years old too. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Vaub

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[–]awkward_kitten 351 points352 points ago

This makes me wonder if something like this has ever actually happened...

[–]Ihadacow 302 points303 points ago

I have always wondered this. And if so, would they get along or try to catch kids together? Would they be pedophile best buddies? Or would they be furious with each other for "poaching"?

[–]Vaub[S] 203 points204 points ago

Welcome to the Deep Web.

[–]Snak_The_Ripper 61 points62 points ago

I feel like Reddit will become a portal to it one day.

[–]PISS_OUT_MY_DICK 33 points34 points ago

It's already happened. /r/TOR

[–]Snak_The_Ripper 49 points50 points ago

Nice try, FBI.

[–]RocksAndSoup 58 points59 points ago

Yes because an FBI agent would use code name PISS_OUT_MY_DICK.

[–]Snak_The_Ripper 75 points76 points ago

How else would they blend in?

[–]RaggedAngel 40 points41 points ago

Seriously, would they call themselves USA_FBI or something? I'd really like to think they're smarter than that.

[–]USA_FBI 71 points72 points ago

Probably, haha, idiots...

[–]yamehameha 4 points5 points ago

no, MERICA_FBI

[–]atrde 4 points5 points ago

Careful, there out there

[–]danceswithwool 2 points3 points ago

Putting something in THEIR_ANUS would be better

[–]quintuple_mi 3 points4 points ago

WIRETAPS_IN_MY_ANUS?

[–]yuyu_oi -4 points-3 points ago

Real Source?

[–]DasIsMienName 0 points1 point ago

Spam, report this comment

[–]cat_fact_and_gif 41 points42 points ago

Cats spend 30% of their waking hours grooming themselves.

[–]Vaub[S] 16 points17 points ago

Thank you for subscribing to Cat Facts. To unsubscribe, please respond saying "meow."

[–]smart_robot 8 points9 points ago

meow

[–]Vaub[S] 8 points9 points ago

Command not recognized! Please prove to us that you are human. What is your favorite animal?

[–]devbang 6 points7 points ago

Cats

[–]mascaron 3 points4 points ago

meow

[–]Vaub[S] 5 points6 points ago

Command not recognized! Please prove to us that you are human. What is your favorite animal?

[–]r1a 0 points1 point ago

mewow!

[–]Blamemeta 3 points4 points ago

I JUST SAW YOU IN THE LAST THREAD!!!!

[–]TimeToWander 7 points8 points ago

Welcome to reddit.

[–]NoSleepForMeEVER 3 points4 points ago

I feel like I should get a key chain or some sort of free t-shirt whenever I see this phrase.

[–]Ragnalypse 11 points12 points ago

How and why would a seven year old be on the deep web?

Especially the ~1% of the deep web that's shady.

[–]Kaghuros 3 points4 points ago

Let's be fair, much of the deep web is shady. I'm not sure how much makes up illegal porn, but a shitload of it is pirated/cracked content and silkroad style drug stuff.

[–]tylerbray 5 points6 points ago

There's also a lot of legitimate stuff also though. There are conventions and such for TOR users to go to and the people that go to them are almost all exclusively cyber rights activist/wannabe activist type people that publish regular old blogs, visit regular old forums, etc. that just happen to be on the deep web. Then there's a lot of "shady" stuff like forums for discussing how to make certain drugs and such but AFAIK none of that is illegal in most 'first world' countries for the reasons why /r/trees isn't. There is illegal porn, lots of black markets (not just for drugs but guns, all kinds of IDs, counterfeit shit, and so on although to be frank I've always wondered how legit the gun markets are), places that promote and discuss things like 'carding' or stealing credit card info online, etc. but the more popular TOR gets the more I see the legitimate stuff get an honest hold of it. It's not all bad and shouldn't be viewed that way. It's fascinating imo.

[–]zoodiary8 0 points1 point ago

the web is too Deep..

[–]smart_robot 6 points7 points ago

I think they would each claim to be the child's relative, and accuse the other of being a pedophile. Or run away awkwardly.

[–]BeenWildin 4 points5 points ago

"Stay out of my territory"

[–]prose-before-hoes 5 points6 points ago

To Friend a Predator

[–]Throwaway_A 2 points3 points ago

And if so, would they get along or try to catch kids together?

...Id watch that show

[–]BeMoreCareful 0 points1 point ago

I've even wondered if it isn't some sort of "code." I don't really know shit Wouldn't the odds be better that you meet some strange dude that wouldn't judge you for jacking off on a duck or something?

[–]TheRanchoChupacabraj 0 points1 point ago

I feel like they'd both try to get on each others cases about luring a child to seem innocent.

[–]FuriousPorcupine 15 points16 points ago

There's a lot of pedophiles. I'd really be more surprised if something along these lines hasn't happened.

[–]SinofOmission 4 points5 points ago

"Goddammit... you again?"

[–]FuriousPorcupine 4 points5 points ago

"Well we came all this way... might as well do this."

[–]ml_lund24 7 points8 points ago

"You SmExYbOoTy69?" "Uh.... Yeah...." both awkwardly shuffle away

[–]princess_pechos 3 points4 points ago

AMA Request?

[–]hippiechicken 2 points3 points ago

wasn't that a workaholics episode?

[–]Mindle 2 points3 points ago

What two hairy faced, balding 7 year olds hanging out? Probably.

[–]LerithXanatos 3 points4 points ago

Batman is in this video. Click it already.

No chance.

[–]i_play_bass 0 points1 point ago

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/205/251/hansenlol.jpg?1322001926

[–]wrongcards 1 point2 points ago

It crossed my mind as well.

[–]edwartica 1 point2 points ago

I would love to see this happen with two sting operations. FREEZE! No you Freeze! FBI! So am I!. Oh crap....uhhhh, let's go get a beer then.

[–]chewb 107 points108 points ago

why are they always depicted as wearing trench coats?

[–]Vaub[S] 125 points126 points ago

And they always have moustaches.

[–]tellmebiologyfacts 72 points73 points ago

and male.

[–]DSTFU 46 points47 points ago

and human.

[–]TEmpTom 61 points62 points ago

We have to rape little boys. The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor-sharp teeth. Do you really expect us to have sex with them?

[–]Deconstruction_Z 13 points14 points ago

Can't we just forget about the Gelgameks for a second here?

[–]lemonpjb 15 points16 points ago

Forget about the Gelgameks?! Rabble rabble rabble!

[–]Deconstruction_Z -1 points0 points ago

Rabble rabble rabble rabble!!!!

[–]pleasepickme 2 points3 points ago

And gelgamek buttholes? I'm assuming those aren't lined with razor-sharp teeth?

[–]BeenWildin 3 points4 points ago

And two arms wtf

[–]PlethoPappus 7 points8 points ago

And they're always bald.

[–]OdinGuideMe 8 points9 points ago

As a balding man with a Stache who doesn't sexually assault children. I hate this stereotype.

[–]SirReginaldPennycorn 1 point2 points ago

I came here to say this. I'm insulted by this stereotype.

[–]Sloppy1sts 2 points3 points ago

It's the pedo-stache, man.

[–]5arge 40 points41 points ago

You don't have to wear pants under a trench coat. Please don't ask why I know that...

[–]chewb 18 points19 points ago

as a trenchcoat owner, I have to tell you it looks damn weird if you have bare feet under a trench, no matter how long it is. You can't even wear them with shorts because that would look dang nasty

[–]Julege1989 9 points10 points ago

What if you wore long boots?

[–]chewb 6 points7 points ago

Only works if I were a lady

[–]perverse_imp 15 points16 points ago

You can be anything you want to be.

[–]turdburglersc 1 point2 points ago

for a price

[–]Vaub[S] 6 points7 points ago

Is it to save valuable time while performing a rape?

[–]joeromag 12 points13 points ago

Nope, flashing children.

[–]Vaub[S] 6 points7 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]joeromag 50 points51 points ago

Which reminds me of a story my dad told me once: Him and his two younger brothers (my uncles) where walking home from school. A white van pulls up next to them, the doors slide open, and a guy in a trench coat gets out and flashes them. Well what happens next is something you would not expect. My uncle points at the guy and says while laughing "It's so small!" Mind you my uncle was 8 or 9 years old. The guy starts crying and gets back in the van and proceeded to speed away. This happened in 1976.

TL;DR: My uncle made Pedophiles cry when he was 8.

[–]WillyVWade 3 points4 points ago

Imagine what he could have done to a pedophile that tried to flash him when he was 20...

[–]7FoldSamurai -2 points-1 points ago

I bet he didnt cry IRL, embelisshed by your Uncle, who most likely had a stroke.

[–]megacookie -5 points-4 points ago

A little willy for little children, AMIRITE?

[–]PessimisticWaves 10 points11 points ago

Why do you know that?

[–]TimeToWander 3 points4 points ago

Masturbating.

[–]chewb 1 point2 points ago

ah, YES! It is all clear now!

[–]SonOfAGrayHairedMan 1 point2 points ago

Extra child smuggling space.

[–]pirate_chef 0 points1 point ago

Because that's how you tell that they're evil. Trenchcoats are the modern equivalent of of capes.

[–]uofc2015 63 points64 points ago

They should do a special episode of To Catch a Predator where they invite as many pedos over to one place and see what they do when there are like 30 other guys there with shitty little gifts and the screen name YoungBoy10 burning in their hearts.

[–]WillyVWade 17 points18 points ago

It's really just hit me, people on the internet using names like 'Fresh_Poon_2001' could be 11 years old at this point...

[–]hambawlz 0 points1 point ago

I would like to see this. I feel like they might play 'put the penis in the child,' a slight variation from 'pin the tail on the donkey.'

[–]SirAuron 7 points8 points ago

I am pretty sure To Catch a Predator would not provide these men with a little boy in which to play this game.

[–]hambawlz 10 points11 points ago

did you not catch it was suppose to be a variation of 'pin the tail on the donkey,' so obviously not a real human child.

it's suppose to be a party for pedophiles

[–]SirAuron 8 points9 points ago

Damn, you aren't supposed to use areal donkey in that game? Shit.

[–]WillyVWade 1 point2 points ago

Wax all the asses!

[–]NilsLandt 29 points30 points ago

That happened in Monkey Dust, and it's well worth a watch.

[–]Stumpgrinder2009 13 points14 points ago

Benji finally meets Charlotte

[–]polar_bear_cub_scout 6 points7 points ago

Not enough people know of this show's existence.

[–]GreatBrainAmWinning 1 point2 points ago

Agreed. Unfortunately I don't think it airs on U.S. TV at all, even BBC America. Luckily, I have the interwebs with which to DL that shit!

[–]moar_noaw 3 points4 points ago

This needs to be further up.

[–]uofc2015 19 points20 points ago

Statistically this has to have happened before.

[–]Retenrage 18 points19 points ago

AMA Request: Pedophile with experience of this.

[–]Hawkeye1226 7 points8 points ago

reddit would probably start defending the pedo like we did with that rapist a while back...

[–]FickleWalrus 10 points11 points ago

I continue to be confused by this assertion. That rapist's posts were widely downvoted; the posts from other subreddits (and the Psychologist) criticizing the thread all made it to the front page. The comment status of that thread and the subsequent discussion provided evidence that most of Reddit agreed with you; why would you declare that the entire site held the opposite position?

[–]nickthename 5 points6 points ago

Because acting oppressed pays the karma bills.

[–]themonkkees 11 points12 points ago

link?

[–]piclemaniscool 0 points1 point ago

I was curious as well. Found this. I assume it to be the one reffered to.

[–]megacookie 1 point2 points ago

Wait, what? Source? Was it an issue of a bunch of trolls defending him/her and getting downvoted and burned by the sane, ethical people of Reddit? Or did the Reddit double back on its political views and declare the rape wasnt actually legitimate?

[–]Random_Fandom 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure this is the comment and thread that's being referred to.

[–]Hawkeye1226 0 points1 point ago

it was a case of "she shouldnt dress like that, its not his fault he cant control himself" i think. it wasnt everybody, but when a "psychologist" came around everyone started to think that way. sorry i cant find a link at the moment. try googling it. then again, maybe you shouldnt, considering what you would be googleing

[–]megacookie 1 point2 points ago

I dont want to google "Reddit Rapist AMA"...

[–]shutUPandPLAY 6 points7 points ago

That isn't really what happened though. But according to the bullshit spouting internet hate machine (SRS aka SA trolls) being curious about a sex offenders mentality and asking questions, rather then cutting out their tongue, glorifies them and encourages them to do it again.

[–]powerchicken 1 point2 points ago

If you upvote shit you agree with and downvote shit you disagree with, rather than upvote what's interesting and downvote what's dull, then you're doing it wrong.

[–]ChristopherJDorsch 5 points6 points ago

TIL Walter's a pedo.

[–]sketch_bear 5 points6 points ago

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but every child molester has a mustache.

[–]TheSweetOne 0 points1 point ago

I said that 4 minutes after you... and I love you for it.

[–]WdnSpoon 11 points12 points ago

This strip is offensive and baldist.

[–]tabassman 2 points3 points ago

Pedo.

[–]Afa1234 7 points8 points ago

And then they lemon partied

[–]beercrafter 15 points16 points ago

Violent Acrez?

[–]mookler 16 points17 points ago

For some reason, I always thought it was Violenta Crez

[–]machonacho 0 points1 point ago

Apparently, he's from Texas.

[–]jamesbondq 2 points3 points ago

Related scene from Out Cold.

[–]AxeheaveR 3 points4 points ago

Why do they both have mustaches? I'm not liking this sterotype.

[–]spartaninspace 2 points3 points ago

all pedophiles have mustaches, but not all mustaches are attached to pedophiles

[–]Simonzi 6 points7 points ago

There's a reason it's called a "pedostache"

[–]Dtumnus 7 points8 points ago

Molestache

[–]AxeheaveR 2 points3 points ago

They also always have vans....not cool with that either. Vans are for viking pimps, not cho-mos.

[–]TimeToWander 3 points4 points ago

I still become convinced i'm going to be raped/murdered when a white van passes me.

[–]AxeheaveR 0 points1 point ago

Fuck white vans, only murals are real.

[–]The_Dovahkiin 1 point2 points ago

I hate it when that happens.

[–]TheChosenOne013 -1 points0 points ago

This has got to be JimKB

[–]almond22 1 point2 points ago

i'b be surprised if this didn't happen pretty regularly

[–]larzstowell 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of that Workoholics episode.

[–]_kayliekay_ -1 points0 points ago

DEAD.

[–]BurningTictac -1 points0 points ago

Remake of a f7u12 post

[–]MrGDavies 0 points1 point ago

i'm going to honest. i wonder about this every day

[–]hypnocomment 0 points1 point ago

Next panel is when chris hansen comes in

[–]Iberollinantrollin 0 points1 point ago

Then they fuck.

[–]TicTokCroc 0 points1 point ago

A man and a little boy are walking into the woods. The boy turns to the man and says "I'm scared." The man says "You're scared? I've got to walk out of here alone."

[–]lollocopter 0 points1 point ago

Credit the artist: http://seemikedraw.com.au/

http://seemikedraw.com.au/this-cartoon-is-child-friendly

[–]JDMcWombat 1 point2 points ago

Welcome to the internet: Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents!

[–]TheSweetOne -1 points0 points ago

I'm not saying that everyone who has a mustache is a pedophile, but every pedophile has a mustache.

[–]actslikeadick -1 points0 points ago

And then they had sex, realized they could be happy together, moved to Manhattan with writer, photography jobs, and lived happily after until one of them cheated, got aids, and, in a last moment rage, fucked a thousand twelve year olds in the ass. Gay, not even once.

[–]venustoise73x -2 points-1 points ago

this is a repost

[–]cobra_2109 -5 points-4 points ago

SOURCE. Post it you idiot.

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