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top 200 commentsshow all 418

[–]Night_Sniper 198 points199 points ago

[–]DatAss6 72 points73 points ago

"gonewild", prepare to be replaced by "bitchimabus" as my most frequently viewed sub-reddit.

[–]Foodball 61 points62 points ago

"busgonewild" can only win

[–]SparklepireBETCH 87 points88 points ago

"HEY BGW, [B]ACK FOR MORE, [B]E GENTLE!"

[–]DancingWithKafka 74 points75 points ago

"[F]IRST TIME [B]OYS, HERE'S MY GAPING EXHAUST PIPE"

[–]CMUpewpewpew 40 points41 points ago

Ewwww what's this naked girl doing in my busporn?

[–]Quaytsar 25 points26 points ago

Sticking an exhaust pipe in her exhaust pipe.

[–]toxicFork 8 points9 points ago

*signs out*

[–]chaosinus 12 points13 points ago

WITH RPMS LIKE THESE, I CAN TAKE YOU TO PLEASURE TOWN TWICE IN ONE NIGHT! (F)

[–]SeegurkeK 13 points14 points ago

That is a bad subreddit if you're currently in a bus

[–]beepbeepimajeep_ 11 points12 points ago

Good thing I'm in a jeep.

[–]WelshMullet 19 points20 points ago

Beep beep, I'm a jeep.

[–]1eejit 2 points3 points ago

How's your cellphone signal?

[–]awesumjon 2 points3 points ago

Good thing I'm on a boat.

[–]dlok86 6 points7 points ago

subscribes

[–]mjohnson062 4 points5 points ago

I clicked, expect to be muttering to myself "yeah, I knew it was a goof link, I expected the dead end", but then got a subreddit...?! How fucking often is this relavent? Holy bat shit Mulder.....

[–]spineygoat 264 points265 points ago

Yeah this is pretty common in and around Glasgow. At night a lot of the buses say 'Ahm no' in service!'. I've also seen one drive by that said 'BRB'.

[–]meatpie_lover 190 points191 points ago

AFK Hijacked LOL

[–]YOU_FUCK 44 points45 points ago

"Just kidding"

[–]supaphly42 72 points73 points ago

50MPH+ ONLY

[–]distopiandoormatt 41 points42 points ago

Why did I think of priests and milk floats.

[–]Wes1180 24 points25 points ago

Those women were in the nip!

[–]Anti_Logic 2 points3 points ago

Father Ted :D

[–]subtly_irrelevant 14 points15 points ago

Choo choo! I'm a bomb.

[–]JackCraic 40 points41 points ago

The light heartedness of it all makes for nice wee juxtapose with the horrible shit that's usually on the inside of the bus.

[–]Throwaway281281 19 points20 points ago

on the inside of a GLASGOW bus, ugh...

[–]scotbro 18 points19 points ago

I was in Glasgow last week and the driver started closing the door while I was still climbing up the steps, almost trapping my ankle in between the doors...

[–]Throwaway281281 78 points79 points ago

You're lucky you're still here, that's how they hunt

[–]BlackDeath3 1 point2 points ago

Better than while you're climbing down the stairs.

[–]hadhad69 2 points3 points ago

You gotta move faster scotbro, you're on shuggies time now.

[–]UiiN 10 points11 points ago

Bad shit happens inside Glasgow buses... Bad shit happens outside the buses in Glasgow (they will run you over).

[–]saladinzero 6 points7 points ago

Anyone remember this? A guy laid dead for several hours on the bus and no-one noticed.

http://www.rutherglenreformer.co.uk/rutherglen-news/rutherglen-local-news/2011/04/06/man-found-dead-on-number-46-bus-63227-28465507/

[–]hiphophohoho 8 points9 points ago

There used to be a blog written by a Glasgow bus driver that had his wee horror stories of daily life behind the wheel.. cant find the link, but they made a book out of it as well. Good read. His drawings of the locals were pretty spot on as well http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Bloodbus-Tales-Glasgow-Night/dp/1845021762

[–]hiphophohoho 9 points10 points ago

Sites dead, but its archived here: http://web.archive.org/web/20080512053806/http://www.bloodbus.com/

Such classic prose "The neds were in a funny mood tonight. As I stood at the relief point in that noxious yeast infection known as Whiteinch, I could hear fearful shouts and screams coming from the cheerless back streets nearby."

[–]Mr_Tactical 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, I see this a lot when I go into town.. Pretty awesome.

[–]peon47 44 points45 points ago

A bus driver with a sense of humour?

I don't know what it's like in other countries, but the bus drivers in Ireland have a fantastic sense of humour. Especially when it comes to timetables.

[–]cynicproject 66 points67 points ago

My experience with bus drivers is so hit or miss. They're either awesome or complete dick holes.

[–]protendious 16 points17 points ago

Which is this guy ? NSFW language.

[–]shizzler 25 points26 points ago

"You wanna be like a man? I'm gonna treat you like a man!" Tell it like it is busman.

[–]l0l_cabbage 1 point2 points ago

My favorite quote. Ever.

[–]fusmc 7 points8 points ago

"I'll never hit a lady, but I'll smack a bitch!"

[–]cynicproject 4 points5 points ago

I couldn't apply one of those labels after only seeing a situation like that. I'm definitely leaning towards the awesome side, though. I just wish people knew when to shut the fuck up sometimes.

[–]itwasthebusdriver 5 points6 points ago

Luckily it's mostly misses. Usually it only takes one hit to kill you.

[–]armchairneonslim 302 points303 points ago

[–]lefixx 178 points179 points ago

Fuck spiderman threads, this is how you start a BUS thread

http://i.imgur.com/JuRPc.gif

[–]badgarok725 53 points54 points ago

question, how did that happen and where is it?

[–]ElGnacko 60 points61 points ago

When I remember correctly the truck driver had a heart attack or similar and had died with his foot on the gas. It happened somewhere in eastern Europe or Russia.

[–]Jlmichaud 51 points52 points ago

Dashcam = Russia. I second this man.

[–]bonaducci 27 points28 points ago

Russia eh? So these cars must have all jumped in front of the bus.

[–]toxicFork 5 points6 points ago

The video is actually playing backwards

[–]TBS96 3 points4 points ago

[–]MikeBruski 7 points8 points ago

guy , do you honestly think russia or eastern europe has highways like that?

It's in Taiwan.

[–]ani625 13 points14 points ago

Then, Sandra Bullock took over, and hit some more cars.

[–]POSTS_GIFS 87 points88 points ago

[–]Frankeh 39 points40 points ago

I think that pigeon died. I've seen pigeons that died while standing up.

Is pretty weird.

[–]rreyv 20 points21 points ago

Also, why was someone taking a video of that pigeon? Unless he planted that pigeon!

/r/KarmaConspiracy

[–]SirAuron 11 points12 points ago

With what seed?

[–]rreyv 11 points12 points ago

[–]armchairneonslim 8 points9 points ago

I concede defeat. Hat's off to you!

[–]DaViSauRus 41 points42 points ago

IM ON A BUS MOTHERFUCKER, DONT YOU EVER FORGET.

[–]wristcontrol 23 points24 points ago

GET YOUR SENIOR PASSES READY SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

[–]PostingUnderDuress 12 points13 points ago

FUCK SEA I'M ON A BUS, MOTHERFUCKER.

[–]PlasmonicPimp 12 points13 points ago

I FUUUUCKED A HOMELESS PERSOOOOOOOOON

[–]JackCraic 10 points11 points ago

DRIVING DOWN THE BUS LANE, GETTING ER'BODY TO TOWN

[–]andrejkw 2 points3 points ago

Does anyone have more information on this?

[–]Some_Friend 118 points119 points ago

So weird seeing your home town on the front page of reddit...

[–]Raeman91 43 points44 points ago

And this is how I find out I need to get the bus today.

[–]Some_Friend 15 points16 points ago

Sup Rae! Hows life? Listened to the new wintersun stuff yet?

[–]Raeman91 11 points12 points ago

S'appenin. Ach, I can't until I finish work. Buzzin for it though!

[–]everybodyctfd 13 points14 points ago

Hey fellow Glasweigians!

[–]whoateallthekrill 11 points12 points ago

Awrite?!

[–]charliedouglas123 12 points13 points ago

Afternoon, gents.

[–]jetocase 5 points6 points ago

happnin' lads

[–]l4qu3 2 points3 points ago

Peterborough checking in!

Oh..

[–]ifonlylemonswerereal 10 points11 points ago

Coatbridgian here. Upvotes for all!

[–]Dubhuir 12 points13 points ago

Hey, my friend lives there! You're probably related. How is your Granny keeping?

[–]ifonlylemonswerereal 12 points13 points ago

aye she's no bad, downstairs watching some pishy afternoon film on channel 5.

[–]ReptarReed 2 points3 points ago

Bailliestonian here. I work In Coatbridge/Airdrie haha.

[–]Dubhuir 3 points4 points ago

I saw a dude getting hit in the back of the head with a hammer in Baillieston, once. I had to talk to the police and was like 'yep, he totally got hit with a hammer. It also wasn't me.' Nice place!

[–]Sennhei 2 points3 points ago

Offt I'm just outside ballieston next to swinton in springhill, small world eh

[–]L555BAT 2 points3 points ago

Went to school in Baillieston/Garrowhill.

[–]StonedPhysicist 12 points13 points ago

Come join us in /r/Glasgow :)

[–]Gazzabaws 4 points5 points ago

I know. There seems to be a recent increase in Scotland related posts.

[–]Bella344 3 points4 points ago

My thoughts exactly, I walked down that street about an hour ago.

[–]Sennhei 2 points3 points ago

Quit posting on reddit and get back tae work ye skiver

[–]Happybadger96 15 points16 points ago

GLASGOW!!

See the "Blue Lagoon", the chip shop at the top right? Burned down a few days ago, was mental.

[–]Gueld 5 points6 points ago

It was great. Due to the police tape the usual flock of goths and junkies couldn't stand about blocking the door.

[–]paulietheboss 9 points10 points ago

thank fuck, cause aw the blue lagoons are fuckin hummin.

[–]Godisman 14 points15 points ago

One of the busdrivers where I lived in my youth drove around with "666 SUFFER" on the nightbus.

Was scary as fuck those misty nights.

[–]SeriouslyLaughing 11 points12 points ago

When I was dating in high school, I used to take public transportation to see a girl in a nearby town. Nearly every Friday, I'd hop on the same route, same bus, with the same driver. We grew to know each other, and he reminded me of the school bus driver from The Simpsons. The bus had an LED sign on the front that said "FF DUTY".

Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I asked why it said "FF DUTY". The bus driver always answered with, "Fuck Friday Duty!" From then onwards, it was always "fuck Friday duty!"

I later put together that the first letter of the digital sign was burnt out. I guess I was the last stop on his route before circling back so instead of saying the destination, the sign should have said "OFF DUTY".

[–]KillerQueen_ 25 points26 points ago

I saw this today and didn't even register the joke. I think I sleptwalked to work.

[–]Carbine125 40 points41 points ago

Glasgow's a great city. One of my favourites.

[–]Bobshayd 11 points12 points ago

That.

Is.

ADORABLE.

[–]NBThunderbolt 3 points4 points ago

Is there a video for this?

[–]TheAngrySpanker 5 points6 points ago

Yes.

[–]doraeminemon 2 points3 points ago

Youtube bicycle dog train : http://youtube.com/watch?v=kf2wtA9Z39M

[–]mitch_bee 7 points8 points ago

I was having a bit of a crap day today. This photo has turned my day, and possibly my entire life around. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

[–]eyereport 5 points6 points ago

I'm mitch_bee's substance abuse counselor, and I can confirm he is no longer addicted to Pokemans thanks to this picture.

Status: CONFIRMED

[–]VoesReach 7 points8 points ago

This is why I love Glasgow

[–]milkteef 11 points12 points ago

that's a gye posh bus fir glasgae

[–]Cooper_In_The_Lodge 3 points4 points ago

Christ....But it's mostly First buses in Glasgow where the Drivers are just completely unhelpful, dour cunts.

[–]Gueld 18 points19 points ago

Id love to see their recruitment process. 'Hate people? Like to speed? Have no idea where anything is in Glasgow? - become a bus driver!'

[–]stumac85 7 points8 points ago

You misspelled taxi driver

[–]abbiistabbii 5 points6 points ago

I frickin' love Glasgow.

[–]MrKinnaird 2 points3 points ago

Naw, Ye FUCKIN' love Glesgae. Cunt.

[–]Sim000nn 67 points68 points ago

Go home Bus.... you're drunk...

[–]Bravehat 60 points61 points ago

To be fair if we employed that service here in Glasgow, the public transport system would collapse.

[–]paperhat 7 points8 points ago

Are you saying that a large portion of Glasgow's busses are habitual drunkards?

[–]Bravehat 17 points18 points ago

No I'm playing off the stereotype that us Scots are typically smashed at least 70% of our lives.

[–]JamieMc14 20 points21 points ago

Stereotype?

We are smashed 70% of our lives!

[–]Bravehat 14 points15 points ago

Keep it quiet man, we can't let everyone know that that's a justified stereotype.

[–]mjohnson062 0 points1 point ago

But when I was in Northern Ireland for a wedding (I have some family outside Belfast) and was awoken at 9:30 in the morning (still drunk, mind you, not hungover, from the evening before) to go to the pub for beer and snooker..... it seemed as normal as having waffles and orange juice. So who wins (define "win" however you feel is appropriate)?

[–]XyzzyPop 6 points7 points ago

I'll be honest, the societal UK sense of humour is great: Announcements from public agencies, whether on TV or in print can be funny to read, and informative; Something that is utterly and totally lacking in North American, where the same announcements are dry and blandly serious.

[–]tonight__you 2 points3 points ago

In this case, the company (Gibson Direct) is actually private, but I do agree with you. I work in the public sector and my organization puts out PSAs and advertisements in the US. I think the issue is that a lot of the people who are responsible for those campaigns are from a different generation and wouldn't see the same value in this kind of humor. We're also under a lot of public scrutiny because of individuals who disagree with our policies or projects, so I get the impression no one wants to take risks that could result in lawsuits.

On the upside, since there are a lot of baby boomers in public sector and they're reaching retirement age, there are going to be a lot of openings soon. If you don't mind working long hours for less money but more red tape than private sector, you could change that sense of humor!

[–]Sandcastles 4 points5 points ago

Go go Glasgow

[–]iknowwhatyoumeme 5 points6 points ago

Glasgow banter is often of a high quality. CHOO CHOO YA BAS

[–]kevlar_burrito 32 points33 points ago

CHOO! CHOO! MOTHERFUCKER!

[–]danandy5 13 points14 points ago

I CHOO! CHOO! CHOOSE YOU

[–]lonewanderer812 5 points6 points ago

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

[–]Executioner1337 1 point2 points ago

What did you expect?

[–]frankivo 14 points15 points ago

[–]UILHOK 2 points3 points ago

[–]Lonny_loss 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]handofdave 2 points3 points ago

i love seeing stuff from glasgow on reddit. kinda makes me half proud to hail from there.

[–]Surrendayopie 0 points1 point ago

BUS YOU'RE DRUNK

[–]tehftw 1 point2 points ago

Like a BUS!

[–]stuck85 2 points3 points ago

This sense of humour is why I love Scotland so much!

[–]sassatron 2 points3 points ago

it just needs a "motherfucker" at the end & it would be perfection.

[–]tacobellassasin 2 points3 points ago

thank you for not furthering a reddit stereotype and putting the title as "go home bus, you're drunk"

[–]Irnbruguy 0 points1 point ago

Woo Scotland.

[–]my_birthday 4 points5 points ago

I hope he doesn't get BUSted for doing that..

[–]alexi_lupin 4 points5 points ago

He might have to be retrained.

[–]mark_i 0 points1 point ago

It's quicker than some public transport i've used.

[–]UGAFTW 0 points1 point ago

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!

[–]magicbullets 1 point2 points ago

You're lying, bus! I know this because a 'train' is not a proper noun!

[–]bassblair11 0 points1 point ago

That's just the bus' attempted Halloween costume.

[–]bsnapier 1 point2 points ago

Poor train trapped in the bus

[–]zwacky 0 points1 point ago

the origin of BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP.

[–]fligs 0 points1 point ago

How can the train move forward without any water?

[–]compsau 1 point2 points ago

I choo choo chooooose you

[–]nicelegsshameface 1 point2 points ago

I love this city.

[–]glassy125 1 point2 points ago

Bitch I'm a bus

[–]m0rph_bw 0 points1 point ago

Go home bus, you're drunk.

[–]swekka 0 points1 point ago

Shit like that will get you fired.

[–]fapswhiledriving 1 point2 points ago

I've driven a bus before. wink...wink

[–]tdotgoat 0 points1 point ago

I have seen trains, and that is not a train! For one, it would have to be at least twice as long..

[–]Brianstormer 0 points1 point ago

I like trains.

[–]galen93 0 points1 point ago

Ah, if the buses here did this it would brighten my day so much.

At least they put up some surprisingly decent decor at Christmas.

[–]ta112233 0 points1 point ago

Silly bus, you're not a train.

[–]Happybadger96 1 point2 points ago

Anyway, glad to see my city at the top of reddit

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Lets do a little experiment, the password to this account is password

How long can you go without changing it?

Do anything you want with it, just don't change the password. Please.

[–]RannDom -1 points0 points ago

GO home bus, you're drunk.

[–]Gueld 1 point2 points ago

I hope all the drivers are as cool as this for the inevitable winter mess that scotrail has every year.

[–]xaragen 1 point2 points ago

I was with my boss when I saw this and then couldn't control the laughter. It was bad.

[–]MrEchevarria 1 point2 points ago

Darn, I just walked by central station in Glasgow too (location of pic). How did i miss this??? This is like seeing Ghandi taking coke. Glasgow bus drivers are usually more ruthless than Cruella De Vil in a Dog pound.

[–]useablelobster -1 points0 points ago

Go home bus, you are drunk.

[–]Melons22 1 point2 points ago

I laughed out loud which is kinda awkward as I am supposed to be analysing accounts forecast for 2014

[–]paymeincake 1 point2 points ago

[–]ToiletFist 0 points1 point ago

Smoke coal evry day!

[–]Rocketdug 0 points1 point ago

Someone's definitely going to get nutted in this thread. I can sense it.

[–]scenique 0 points1 point ago

Cool

[–]everybodyctfd 1 point2 points ago

Best bus in the world is Glasgow's 'City Sprinter'. It's cheap, the drivers read your mind and stop yards before you've reached the by stop without you even signalling to wait for you and they all race each other so you're never late.

[–]janicebks 0 points1 point ago

We were taking a drive in the middle of Queensland when I saw a bus flashing LOST...

[–]Offensive_Brute 0 points1 point ago

How can I laugh at this bus joke after last weeks big bus joke.

[–]Pyrolytic 1 point2 points ago

Nice try, Filta Fry Plus viral marketing agent.

[–]BassofSea 1 point2 points ago

I wish the were more bus drivers like him in Glasgow, the ones I get tend to be extremely dour although this could because they've just passed through Arden...

[–]Murdo1 1 point2 points ago

There's buses in Glasgow that say 'Ahm no in service' when not in service.

[–]jeannaimard -1 points0 points ago

TIL that scots say “choo-choo”…

[–]pizza_bro 0 points1 point ago

What's funny about Rail replacement bus services is that it's usually quicker and less hassle just to get another bus that was doing the same route anyway.

[–]sifon187 -1 points0 points ago

[–]nooneimparticula 0 points1 point ago

Dude, they hacked the gibson!

[–]eyereport 0 points1 point ago

Your mom is a train.

[–]l0l_cabbage 1 point2 points ago

All aboard!

[–]CaptainBus 1 point2 points ago

Seems legit.

[–]throweraccount 0 points1 point ago

Oh he's funny NOW!.... just wait till he gets mad... he'll uppercut you.

[–]Doowak 0 points1 point ago

Saw this. Was gong to karma whore.

[–]TecTwo 0 points1 point ago

Apparently this bus should go home cos it's drunk...

[–]migimunz 0 points1 point ago

A bus driver with a sense of humor?

Why is it so extraordinary for a bus driver to have a sense of humor?

[–]ironmasked 0 points1 point ago

[–]Throwawayengieguy -1 points0 points ago

Scumbag bus driver... Doesn't let you know, what route he's driving.

[–]CokeBottles 0 points1 point ago

Beep Beep Motherfucker

[–]Worst_Brat 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant!

[–]DyckWit 0 points1 point ago

This is why Leo lost it in Inception.

[–]e-z1 0 points1 point ago

Made me smile on a very bad day! Thank!

[–]Dixinormus 1 point2 points ago

Beep Beep Motherfucker

[–]Elbriachi 0 points1 point ago

Pardon me, boys, is that the Chatanooga Choo Choo...

[–]AerynnMarie 0 points1 point ago

Anytime part of my city's train routes are replaced with buses it means it will take you at least an extra 15-20 minutes to get somewhere and you will have to explain the whole process through each step to some poor confused souls who didn't listen to the announcement that stated exactly what you are saying to them.

"We have to get off the train?" "Yep, it isn't going any further." "How do I get to the next stop?" "There are buses waiting to take everyone to the next stop." "Is this the bus I'm suppose to get on?" "Yep, or that one or that one." (This is why I wish our buses would just say Choo Choo I'm a train)

And in just trying to get one train stop further - something that would normally take 3 minutes becomes a quarter-hour ordeal and you have a gaggle of morons following you like they are un-cute baby duckies.

[–]choochooimatrain 0 points1 point ago

No, I'M the train damnit.

[–]ocman21 0 points1 point ago

[–]nathanfairchild 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, but can your bus drivers deliver devastating uppercuts? I think not.

[–]lousku 1 point2 points ago

there once was a bus who said damn

it has borne in on me that i am

a creature that moves

in predestinate grooves

i'm not even a bus, i'm a tram

[–]TheBlackAngelsDeath -1 points0 points ago

Cho Cho Motherfucker!!

[–]M00z 0 points1 point ago

They had this on a bus here in aberdeen i saw the other week

[–]Randompaul 0 points1 point ago

Say it with the Scottish accent for 50% more lols.