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[spoiler](/s "Bruce Wayne is Batman")

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In all fairness he would be pretty lonely on FB (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Tom5ervo

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[–]Onslow_Skils 56 points57 points ago

"Batman likes Justice. Six other friends who like Justice: Aquaman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Superman, The Flash, Cyborg"

[–]farceur318 28 points29 points ago

"What the... When did J'onn unfriend me?"

[–]Onslow_Skils 16 points17 points ago

"Hang on, Cyborg? Isn't he the guy that lives in that ridiculous T building with Dick? When he'd get promoted?"

[–]samx3i 21 points22 points ago

I like how DC is all,

"Hey! We have a black superhero in the original Justice League lineup. See how not racist we are?"

"He's also the only one in the lineup without a solo book."

"Well, er... ah..."

"Hawk & Dove had a solo book."

"Well, you see..."

"OMAC, Blackhawks, Men of War, Voodoo, Blue Beetle, Grifter, Legion: Lost, GI Combat, Hawkman, and Frankenstein, but no Cyborg."

"Um... Mister Terrific is black!"

"You cancelled that."

"Static Shock is black!"

"You cancelled that too."

"Not racist infinity+one!"

[–]OsamaBinApple 3 points4 points ago

It's not racist to not have a black character. Racism implies discrimination.

[–]samx3i 1 point2 points ago

It was a joke.

I could argue it's discrimination that the one black member of DC's premier superhero stable is the only member of the team without a solo book.

[–]ElimGarak 0 points1 point ago

There were a ton of books with white people that got cancelled too.

[–]samx3i 2 points3 points ago

[OMAC, Blackhawks, Men of War, Voodoo, Blue Beetle, Grifter, Legion: Lost, GI Combat, Hawkman, and Frankenstein]

Yeah, I mentioned most of them.

[–]throwawaydrakz -3 points-2 points ago

Just made this: Superchat

Edit: Superchat 2

[–]SpiralSoul 14 points15 points ago

Those are possibly the worst font color choices I've ever seen.

[–]TotallyNotSuperman 4 points5 points ago

I can't read half of what Batman is saying. Readability is the most important thing.

[–]throwawaydrakz 0 points1 point ago

Read the second one. It's acknowledged

[–]Captaincastle 1 point2 points ago

I don't believe in redemption

[–]throwawaydrakz 0 points1 point ago

Batman Approves

[–]throwawaydrakz 3 points4 points ago

I know. I just got bored and through shit together

[–]Onslow_Skils 1 point2 points ago

You should do more of these, they are gold...Like everything Batman says...

[–]throwawaydrakz 2 points3 points ago

I assume that's sarcasm, but if its not, thanks!

[–]samx3i 9 points10 points ago

When Pandora accidentally the verb and New52ed.

[–]Mxxi 3 points4 points ago

Never thought of Batman as a french house fan.

[–]MaynPayn 12 points13 points ago

Poor Aquaman, the internet doesn't like him at all.

[–]farceur318 24 points25 points ago

I like him.

[–]Onslow_Skils 29 points30 points ago

Aquaman is awesome, he's now more than just the oceans shitty version of Superman.

[–]sucksqueezebangfart 18 points19 points ago

I really like the New 52 Aquaman. I was surprised. Art work is amazing as well.

[–]Captaincastle 7 points8 points ago

Does he have his own series, or is this part of JL?

[–]burntnolan 9 points10 points ago

His own kickass series

[–]Captaincastle 18 points19 points ago

God damn you Aquaman, I've been defending you for the better part of a decade, and now my dedication has been repaid.

LONG LIVE CURRY

[–]AREYOUSauRuS 1 point2 points ago

Thank Geoff Johns for that... Aquaman's been a joke for a hero for 70 years before Johns got his hands on him.

[–]Captaincastle 2 points3 points ago

He had some dark and yet cool stories pre Nu52, just no one gave him any heed. Read up to issue 12 in the Nu52 series this afternoon, loved it.

[–]unreplaced 3 points4 points ago

He started getting it back with Batman the Brave and the Bold.

OUTRAGEOUS, CHUM!

[–]Onslow_Skils 4 points5 points ago

He better not tell Green Arrow about saving that boat, he'll get jealous.

[–]DerPilsner 1 point2 points ago

Agreed. This artwork is fantastic.

[–]Captaincastle 0 points1 point ago

It's actually a really good comic all around

[–]Expedio 5 points6 points ago

When he says that he doesn't talk to fish does he mean he doesn't talk he just telepathically communicates with them? What does he mean?

[–]TheShanesaw 12 points13 points ago

He telepathically commands them as fish are not creatures smart enough for communication. He basically can control their will.

[–]TotallyNotSuperman 3 points4 points ago

Dolphins are different story, however.

[–]LonelyCannibal 3 points4 points ago

Aquaman clarifies things for you.

[–]kiaha 0 points1 point ago

That's...pretty friggin awesome. If I wanted to start reading aquaman, where should I start?

[–]farceur318 0 points1 point ago

I started reading with the DC relaunch last September. If you want to buy monthly issues, there's an upcoming major story-arc called Throne of Atlantis, that will begin in Justice League #15 and Aquaman #15 which both come out in December. That would probably be a good jumping on point. If you prefer to read trade paperbacks, this book collects the first six issues of the relaunch (and is the source of the pages I posted).

[–]Captaincastle 0 points1 point ago

They just relaunched it, so "Aquaman #1" is a good point to start. Aquaman 0 was released after Aquaman 11, so you might want to resist reading that until you get to that point, but I can't imagine it'd make a big difference.

[–]capnjack78 8 points9 points ago

I think Aquaman gets a bad rep because people think all he does is command fish. I think we need a really good tv show or movie to prove otherwise (there was that failed Aquaman pilot, but it really was shit). 71% of the earth is covered in water. Who do you think is keeping us safe from the sinister forces in the deep?

Not that I was a fan but I saw that show Entourage had this story arc where the main character was going to be in an Aquaman film. Maybe it was a joke, I dunno, but I'd pay to see it.

[–]Tom5ervo[S] 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, but lets be honest Cthulu wouldn't pay any heed to Aquaman like that post from a couple days ago. Considering Batman has shark repellent on had, he is hard to take seriously.

[–]Onslow_Skils 5 points6 points ago

but lets be honest Cthulu wouldn't pay any heed to Aquaman

You mean like that time Aquman, Dr Fate and some members of the Justice League gave Cthulu a royal ass kicking?

[–]atylersims 5 points6 points ago

in all reality that would never work. if we are really taking everything from everyone's respective cannon Cthulu wouldn't fight any of them because he has absolutely no concern for anything that isn't a lovecraftian god. and all of those super heroes would be driven over the brink of insanity just seeing Cthulu. There would be no contest he would leave them all gibbering messes on the ground while he does what ever machinations he had planned with utter disregard for anything else.

[–]Onslow_Skils 2 points3 points ago

reality

The Justice League, Atlantis, giant terror fish that make people insane, Superman.

Pick one.

Also, Cthulu sucks ass when it comes to a fight with some of the Justice League.

"But that's not really Cthulu!" isn't an acceptable response.

[–]Captaincastle 6 points7 points ago

No dude, the Justice League has never faced a monstrous terrifying thing before!

Or like, a demi god!

Every week for the last 40 years

[–]atylersims 2 points3 points ago

why isn't it? If a villain character is pulled from an outside mythos and changed to make them a viable opponent why is it not appropriate to point this out?

[–]IKnowsBest -1 points0 points ago

What? Source, please.

[–]Onslow_Skils 3 points4 points ago

It's from an episode of the Justice League animated series in which Aquaman and co deliver the smack down to every fish over fifty feet.

[–]xploited13 22 points23 points ago

Nah. Batman would have a vague profile with a feed full of heroes to learn their strengths and weaknesses. Then, he'd create a fake profile under Matches Malone to befriend criminals and stalk them.

[–]Tom5ervo[S] 8 points9 points ago

Maybe use one of the many corporate entities under the Wayne Enterprises umbrella to purchase the information from FB for "Marketing" purposes.

[–]Captaincastle 19 points20 points ago

http://us5.memecdn.com/dont-mess-with-aquaman_o_457653.jpg

[–]JasonoftheOregonauts 9 points10 points ago

Shut up, Aquaman. No one's buying it.

[–]Irish33 4 points5 points ago

Couldnt Green Lantern just make a bunch of shark constructs?

And still be able to fly at the same time?

[–]KuramaSutra 0 points1 point ago

Potentially, but he didn't. After the New 52, Aquaman is the man.

[–]throwawaydrakz 6 points7 points ago

Aqauman is awesome

[–]El_Nicos 16 points17 points ago

According to me, Aquaman is the most under rated hero of all the DC Universe.

[–]burntnolan 4 points5 points ago

He is a FUCKING KING!! Why can't people see that?

[–]samx3i 9 points10 points ago

The joke label was made and it stuck. Unstucking it isn't easily done. They've tried and tried and tried and tried.

While Aquaman has cocksure badass status in the DCU, even DC has to acknowledge the real-world impression that he's silly and useless. Super Friends didn't help, but Batman has survived that, a TV sitcom, and Joel Schumacher movies.

He's not a mainstream enough character for the general public to know any better. He's usually part of any primary Justice League lineup, but not as recognizable as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, or even The Flash & Green Lantern.

TL;DR: He's got a PR problem.

[–]burntnolan 6 points7 points ago

They better not fail with the Aquaman prelude to the Justice League movie

[–]RobotBuddha 2 points3 points ago

They've tried

I like the idea of him. Hell, I like namor. But man, these attempts keep saddeling him with a pretty stupid color scheme/costume.

[–]samx3i 3 points4 points ago

Blue Aquaman was pretty terrible, too.

[–]RobotBuddha 4 points5 points ago

I'm as much a fashion disaster as any nerd. But damn, even I'm horrified by that!

[–]samx3i 2 points3 points ago

I'm hoping Aquaman gets added to the cast of Injustice: Gods Among Us. I love what NetherRealm Studios did with DC characters in terms of their look in Mortal Kombat VS DC Universe. I actually see a lot of their design work in the Newfiftytwoniverse. Even if he doesn't make the cut, he'd make great DLC, especially if they make him an overpowered Akuma-like character.

[–]throwawaydrakz 4 points5 points ago

Aqauman in Injustice would be awesome

[–]samx3i 1 point2 points ago

Last time I remember him in a video game as a playable character was Justice League: Task Force for the SNES.

[–]throwawaydrakz 0 points1 point ago

I did not have a snes, but I know that from an AT4W episode

[–]Tom5ervo[S] 2 points3 points ago

Years of stigma are difficult to weed through.

[–]samx3i 17 points18 points ago

Ah, that's cool, Batman. I was just trying to see if you wanted to ride Cthulhu with me. No worries.

I'll call you later.

[–]bman49er 11 points12 points ago

And that's exactly the kind of face batman makes when he LOLs.

[–]Circuitfire 2 points3 points ago

hmmp

scowl

[–]OneDelightedPeople 4 points5 points ago

Outrageous!

[–]hoodiee 5 points6 points ago

At least his parents wouldn't tag him in embarrassing pictures.

[–]XenomorphSB 13 points14 points ago

Aquaman would be the guy that sends 100s of friend requests gets ignored by every one

[–]enoughaboutourballs 10 points11 points ago

I imagine Aquaman sitting alone in his apartment wearing a sweater, green arrow showing up, realizing its awkward as hell and then pretending he has crime to fight.

[–]Onslow_Skils 6 points7 points ago

"I've got to go, my sidekick is...being...a...crack...using...whore..."

It's funny 'cuz it's true!

[–]AREYOUSauRuS 1 point2 points ago

Hey, back off Speedy. He'll always have a place at my crackhouse.

[–]Captaincastle 0 points1 point ago

Arsenal is a pimp in the Red hood and the Outlaws relaunch

[–]Grant638 5 points6 points ago

Pretty sure Bruce values Arthur's friendship and the advantage he brings to sea missions.

[–]AREYOUSauRuS 2 points3 points ago

Bruce values the advantage Arthur brings to sea missions.

I'm pretty convinced after a few decades of reading Batman comics that the only three people you can argue are "friends" of Batman are Superman, Gordon, and Alfred. And even those are suspect.

Gordon is closest and even constantly refers to Batman as "a friend."

If he didn't need Alfred so much starting off, would Alfred still be around and privy to his identity? I don't think he would. If he hadn't needed Alfred, I'd think he'd look at him as a liability and would've dismissed him instead of bringing him into his circle.

Superman... again, kinda lumped with Alfred. If Superman didn't know Batman's secret identity, would they be friends? And Batman didn't reveal that to Supes, Supes figured that out himself. And if Superman wasn't so noble, he'd've gotten tired of Batman's shit a long time ago.

The Robins aren't friends. They're apprentices. Employees almost.

He respects people. But he doesn't form friendships.

edit: rampant apostrophe showed up, had to strike it down.

[–]Grant638 3 points4 points ago

So you don't think that Dick and Bruce are friends? After all they've been through? Bruce even said that besides Dick, Superman is his most trusted friend. So that makes me think that Dick and Bruce are close.

[–]AREYOUSauRuS 0 points1 point ago

If Batman says it, then I guess I'm wrong.

But, no I don't think he considers Dick a friend. I think he has a high level of respect for Dick. But Dick was his protege. Practically a son. I think he'll always look at Dick as below him (and I don't mean that negatively). Someone he's responsible for.

When shit goes bad, he'll want to protect Dick instead of looking to Dick for help. He'll let Alfred, Gordon, and Superman help him. But Dick and the other Robins, first and foremost he'll be looking to protect them. (They'll help him without him requesting it of course though.)

But if he says elsewise, I will not be the fool that decides to argue the Batman.

[–]Grant638 1 point2 points ago

Well I also kinda agree with you as well. I don't think Bruce considers many people to be his "friend", and he probably wouldn't even use that term. So I guess we both win/lose, haha.

[–]rath_of_the_kutolah 1 point2 points ago

I don't remember which one, but a comic mentions (insists even) that Alfred and Bruce are NOT friends. I think Superman/Batman Public Enemies, but I'm not 100%.

[–]word5auce 1 point2 points ago

I gotta say Supes and Batman are Definitely pals, I think Batman know the potential of Supes and thinks it could bring harm and whatnot but would never willingly bring him down just cause. Also you gotta keep in mind that Batman's kinda dark and brooding now since he used up all his happiness in his early years (Golden age, Adam West) so hes gotta be kinda a dick to everybody.

[–]MichaelJayDog 2 points3 points ago

Batman would not say lol. The best you will get is ss: slight smirk.

[–]superryley 1 point2 points ago

Fuck Dialog in Title Case.

[–]Lovebeard 5 points6 points ago

Oh, you hate Aquaman? Who else do you hate? Nickleback? Justin Bieber? Please tell me more.

[–]OccamsCat 1 point2 points ago

Well since you said please...

[–]4freeusee 2 points3 points ago

Id be friends with him if it was the Brave and the Bold Aquaman

[–]Brillegeit 2 points3 points ago

Everyone knows Facebook is just another one of Batman's many Brother Eye systems.

[–]Captaincastle 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit that'd be a hilarious thing for them to include in the comics. just an off the wall reference to him creating it to monitor teen drug trends and such

[–]Mental_octo 1 point2 points ago

It was alfred's doing all along....

[–]harleen_lion 1 point2 points ago

Bruce wouldn't be very lonely though...

[–]Left_Side_Driver 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for my new cover photo

[–]Simbrian 1 point2 points ago

I expected the top comment to be an Aquaman novelty account.

[–]throwawaydrakz 0 points1 point ago

Do you have this image without the text bubble?

[–]ZeroX4 1 point2 points ago

At least he wouldn't have to worry about his parents seeing all the pictures of him drinking underage...

[–]doyouunderstandlife 1 point2 points ago

If you think Aquaman sucks, you need to watch Batman: The Brave and the Bold, where he was amazing OUTRAGEOUS!

[–]Cherveny2 0 points1 point ago

Im just suprised aquaman got intenet capable electronics working underwater! Wonder if thats one of his superpowers in new52.

[–]Lenwey -4 points-3 points ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA. REPOSTS, I LOVE LAUGHING AT THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

[–]The_Geb -4 points-3 points ago

Downvote for having The Goddamn Batman use lol in a speech bubble! The Dark Knight is not going to speak in textisms....

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