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submitted ago by Jazzyrevenge

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[–]qwerqwert 65 points66 points ago

The minotaur was actually created when Pasiphae, Minos' wife, under Aphrodite's spell, climbed inside of a hollow wooden cow so she could have sex with a bull. Her offspring was the minotaur.

[–]cjhazza 50 points51 points ago

Reasons why I love Greek mythology, shit like this was acceptable to read as a 7 year old.

[–]Ztiller 60 points61 points ago

The reason i love most ancient mythology:

"Why did Thor burn down our house with the lightning? Because he was bored"

There is no "glorification" or eternal wisdom. It's just a bunch of lunatics with waaay too much power.

[–]kriegler 16 points17 points ago

Boredom might possibly explain the drunkenness, cross-dressing, and letting Loki get sexually assaulted by a horse. Hmm... sounds like an interesting prequel for "Thor".

[–]Chivalry13 -1 points0 points ago

No, Loki sexually assaulted the horse, not the other way around. And let us not forget the fact that Odin rips out his own eye to get a drink at the base of Yggdrasil.

[–]Mac_Anu 16 points17 points ago

God is a total Mary Sue, and it makes him boring as hell.

I like when gods are basically humans with super powers. Good characters need flaws. Oh wait. Arrogance is a flaw.

I take it back, Christianity.

[–]knylok 15 points16 points ago

I'd say that the Christian God is rather a weak character. His abilities seem vague and limited. When he was rebooted in the New Testament, they stripped him of pretty well all his powers (save some resurrection abilities, some duplication of food and the water-to-wine bit). Now he did have this sort of neat Trinity thing going on, where he was three "things" at once, but it really seemed like he wasn't in control of his separate selves (hence Jesus asking himself that he not be nailed to a cross).

Really once the NT came out, God was reduced to a dull parental figure that threatened but never delivered (though there was a fig tree which suffered a touch of wraith, as I recall).

There was also this idea that God has a Plan for everyone, and as long as you stick with God, you're following his Plan. However, it's been largely revealed that other people deviating from his Plan influences your Plan, showing that God's Plan isn't a power but more of a weak suggestion.

I'd say that since the reboot, God is nothing but flaws.

[–]N05f3r47u 19 points20 points ago

So what you're saying is that the first season was better

[–]knylok 10 points11 points ago

Certainly more dramatic. Fires, floods, talking burning bushes, parting waves, pillars of salt, yadda yadda yadda.

[–]Draiko 2 points3 points ago

... and Kramer was funnier.

[–]Speak_Of_The_Devil 3 points4 points ago

That's why it's canceled after the second season. There are rumors of reassembling the cast for a third season, but with the indefinite hiatus, pretty much it's never going to happen.

[–]dclowd9901 -1 points0 points ago

Or kinda how I imagine a god would really behave.

[–]futt 1 point2 points ago

It's just a bunch of lunatics with waaay too much power.

It's a paradigm of rulers/corporations in general. They do whatever they please because they can. And what are little ol' you going to do about it?

Try to build a better house? Good luck ;-)

[–]orthag 3 points4 points ago

Poseidon's spell. Poseidon was pissed that Minos didn't sacrifice his prize bull to him so he made Minos's wife fuck it instead.

[–]qwerqwert 0 points1 point ago

No doubt Poseidon was involved; he was the one who was pissed. Sources differ on whether Poseidon casts the spell, or has Aphrodite "cast" it on his behalf. Some just short-hand it and say he did it directly.

I think Aphrodite makes a bit more sense, given that she is the goddess of love, among other things.

[–]orthag 1 point2 points ago

Either way, Minos will never enjoy sex with his wife again.

[–]BossDulciJo -1 points0 points ago

Thank you! Came here to say this same thing.

[–]I_R_Teh_Taco 77 points78 points ago

Nope. Pikachu is the mouse pokémon.

[–]knightskull 92 points93 points ago

According to who? Professor "hire 10 years olds to do all my research" Oak?

[–]comradenu 30 points31 points ago

Hire? More like use them as slave labor by stuffing their brains with false hope, then sending them into the wilderness to face mystical beasts.

[–]kilbert66 15 points16 points ago

But, to be fair, he does give them the chance to enslave god.

[–]guitartechie 0 points1 point ago

And pretending to not be their dad and still have a sex life with the nameless mom.

[–]konblivion 2 points3 points ago

Chu is japanese for mouse...

[–]spiceinsoup 1 point2 points ago

Clearly the research was already done, the kid just had to find one and point the pokedex at it

[–]TheGoddess0fWar 0 points1 point ago

Says dexter. You can't ignore his girth.

[–]Arcon1337 1 point2 points ago

A ten year old who becomes the most richest, successful and renowned pokemon trainer? Then yes.

[–]Hallegra 6 points7 points ago

"Pikachuuuu!"

shudder

[–]1OneManCrew -3 points-2 points ago

Nope. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika

[–]Ollivia 10 points11 points ago

Pikachu's official pokedex entry still states that it is a mouse pokemon though. Even the pokemon cards always refer to it as a mouse.

[–]Crimyote 13 points14 points ago

Not to mention "pikachu" literally means "electric mouse" in Japanese.

[–]Serf99 37 points38 points ago

Actually not really "electric mouse", rather both "pika" and "chu" are onomatopoeias. "pika" being the sound of electricity, as of light flashing, and "chu" the sound of a small rodent.

Technically, as technical as you can get in this conversation, the 'chu' sound is the representation of the squeaky sound that a small rodent makes. It doesn't necessarily need to be a mouse, it can be any small rodent.

Furthermore, the original Japanese Pokedex called Pikachu a "ねずみポケモン", nezumi pokemon. Now, this was translated to a "mouse pokemon" for the US version. However, in Japanese, "nezumi" doesn't have a clear distinction between mouse, rat, or any other rodent in particular. For instance, a hedgehog is called a hari(needle)-nezumi.

For this reason, a squirrel could, technically, fit into this classification for Pikachu. BUT there is also the pokemon; Pachirisu. "Pachi" also being a onomatopoeia of the snapping sound of electricity, and "risu" meaning "squirrel".

Hence, the Zeus-squirrel offspring would actually be better suited to be Pachirisu rather than Pikachu.

[–]ExcaliburP 2 points3 points ago

This has to be the most edifying thing I've read in a while. Upvotes.

[–]Akarei 1 point2 points ago

"Pika pika" is a Japanese onomatopoeia describing something sparkling/glittering.

But yes, electric mouse is correct.

[–]1OneManCrew 1 point2 points ago

Because kids don't know what a pika is. I believe Mr.Matsuda said it in an interview.

[–]mikeack 1 point2 points ago

Correct. This would have been more accurate: http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/f/f4/417Pachirisu.png

[–]sno_so_pro 14 points15 points ago

centaurs were born from ixion and Nephele not zeus

[–]Quo_Usque 25 points26 points ago

that's not how either of those happened. But i won't argue with the Pikachu.

[–]lydocia 17 points18 points ago

I, too, was generally confused about the Minotaur.

Poseidon's wife, Aphrodite, fell in love with a bull, made a wooden cow, got inside of it, had sex with the bull, had the Minotaur baby. Mixed up a few things here. It was King Minos' wife Pasiphae who had been cursed by Aphrodite to fall in love with a bull. Daedalus made her a wooden cow so she could have sex with the bull and delivered the Minotaur.

[–]Crimyote 16 points17 points ago

Giggidy

[–]newb0rn11 8 points9 points ago

It was actually Pasiphae, King Minos' wife. Aphrodite made her fall in love with the Cretan Bull to punish Minos for not sacrificing a white bull Poseidon had sent him as a sign of support. Pasiphae then had Daedalus make her the wooden cow so that she and the bull could get "bizzay".

[–]lydocia -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, okay. Sorry I got that mixed up!

[–]newb0rn11 1 point2 points ago

Sorry, I feel like a douche. It's hard to type something that starts with "actually" without sounding massively condescending.

[–]lydocia 1 point2 points ago

Oh, it wasn't taken as such!

[–]newb0rn11 2 points3 points ago

Well that's good to know :)

[–]lydocia -1 points0 points ago

If anything, I read it in a typically British accent because of the "Actually".

[–]newb0rn11 2 points3 points ago

Good thing I'm horrendously British then.

[–]lydocia -1 points0 points ago

Quintessentially.

[–]Hyz 0 points1 point ago

Still, Zeus was able to transform into a bull, if needed. But I don't suppose he ever got kids that way

[–]paholg 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty sure he had lots of kids by turning into animals and sexing mortals, they were just all human-demi-god-whatevers and not half animal.

[–]paddythemay 2 points3 points ago

That's almost entirely correct, except it was Poseidon who cursed her. Minos refused to sacrifice a white bull that Poseidon had sent and therefore made Pasiphae, his wife, fall in love with the White Bull.

[–]Quo_Usque 0 points1 point ago

And centaurs were from Ixion, who tried to have sex with Hera and instead sexed a cloud. Hence, centaurs.

[–]GTCharged -2 points-1 points ago

I'm sorry, but.. zoophilia in mythology? wtf?

[–]Giant-Midget 0 points1 point ago

Sexual encounters in Greek mythology were mostly pretty fucked up, at least zoophilia is somewhat possible (with the exception of offspring). Zeus impregnated someone (can't remember the name off the top of my head) by transforming into golden dust, and crawling (if that's how dust moves?) into her gaol cell and up her snatch.

[–]otoren 2 points3 points ago

Danae, mother of Perseus, if memory serves...talk about a golden shower....

[–]Giant-Midget 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, that's the one. Cheers, mate.

[–]otoren 1 point2 points ago

It's hard to keep all of Zeus' affairs straight. Pretty much any time an Ancient Greek showed up pregnant out of nowhere, it was Zeus.

[–]weknewthesun 0 points1 point ago

If you're looking for the most fucked up sexual Greek myth (not sure if you are but I'll share) it would hands down be that of Agdistis. Check it out, genitalia turning into trees, trees impregnating people, grandmother/grandson incest. It's pure insanity.

[–]lydocia -1 points0 points ago

There are worse things in mythology.

[–]Crowscream 5 points6 points ago

So if he fucks a fish, does that make Merpeople?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Frunzle 7 points8 points ago

Mrglbrbwarblmlgarbl!

[–]comradenu 4 points5 points ago

"Alylalalalalyaaa"

Cutest fucking thing ever made.

[–]Inidi6 6 points7 points ago

That was funny, but incorrect.

[–]levmailhere 1 point2 points ago

Zeus is getting it on!!

[–]Trabc 0 points1 point ago

Oh my Zeus...

[–]LittleCucumber 3 points4 points ago

WTF?! This is SO WTF. I literally yelled WTF out loud.

[–]NomMon5ter 3 points4 points ago

o.o ....

....I want to argue, but I can't.

[–]mightierthanthesword 1 point2 points ago

Why isn't this in /r/funny? This is fucking hilarious!

[–]Throwawayengieguy 1 point2 points ago

You expect that subreddit to have this quality of humour?

[–]Oncocerca -1 points0 points ago

Reminds me of Vikram and Bethal for some reason. Maybe the hoy and his otherworldly companion.

[–]BeatKeaper 0 points1 point ago

Whatchu thinkin' about

[–]Goalden 0 points1 point ago

So I guess god was just fucking horny.

[–]blarghsplat 1 point2 points ago

pikachu, i choose you!

[–]panchoFoll3 0 points1 point ago

Poor Hera..

[–]skewp 0 points1 point ago

It makes more sense when you realize it's Zeus and not Yahweh.

[–]SwellSeason 0 points1 point ago

I think this belongs in /r/science ...

[–]Haffattack 0 points1 point ago

This makes more sense than half the shit in WTF...

[–]CypressxWarrior 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu is a mouse not a squirrel!

[–]stardust_snorter 0 points1 point ago

...the fuck

[–]willyscoot 0 points1 point ago

Seems legit

[–]LordDerbe 1 point2 points ago

so boring...meh....mmh what havent i fucked yet..oh hello little friend..ooh yes

[–]deejaybee11 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu is a mouse

[–]soyabstemio 1 point2 points ago

How is this WTF?

[–]Jazzyrevenge[S] -1 points0 points ago

Wow... i wasnt expecting front page...

[–]bigmeech -1 points0 points ago

yes, who can forget the half mouse half human pokemon pikachu

[–]CCNeverender 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu is the most famous and commonly known pokemon of all time. Can we please get the word out that pikachu is a mouse. Not a squirrel, not a rabbit, but a mouse. He's only been around like 15 years

[–]MrKnifesIII 0 points1 point ago

This is total bullshit. It would never work that way. It just absolutely doesn't make sense. Pikachu is a mouse.

[–]kenba2099[!] 0 points1 point ago

Seems like to make the first two he had sex with the animal and it made a half-man, half-animal type creature. The pattern doesn't make sense in the third unless it was a half-man, half-squirrel type creature, which Pikachu is not.

[–]reidcalhoun 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu is based off of a Pika, not a squirrel. I'll show a link. http://www.nwf.org/Global-Warming/Effects-on-Wildlife-and-Habitat/Pika.aspx

[–]AshsOshawott 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu is a mouse, not a squirrel.

[–]BrinaRina 0 points1 point ago

I was far too amused and intrigued by this for far too long.

[–]LaMareeNoire 0 points1 point ago

The minotaur was the result of a woman having sex with a bull, which of course makes way more sense

[–]CRiMSoNKuSH 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who made soft grunts on the last picture of each row?

[–]Amateur_Ninja -1 points0 points ago

Can't remember if this applies to all elder centaurs, but Chiron was the son of Kronos. I assume this is zues, for obvious reasons, but.... Crap. I forgot what my argument was supposed to be. Fuck it, I'm posting this anyway.

[–]seabass341 0 points1 point ago

Nice title.

Just kidding. It's terrible and you should feel ashamed.

[–]xvicarious 0 points1 point ago

Pikachu... Is... A... Mouse...

[–]bakergirl11 0 points1 point ago

ha

[–]bakergirl11 0 points1 point ago

wait... i love pikachu

[–]aequitas3 1 point2 points ago

The minotaur was so much more complicated. King Minos' wife was a nympho, and she wanted some bull wang, so she had Daedalus, before he escaped and his retard son died in mid escape, make a crazy sex swing for her using the bull's body as the support beams, and slung her under the bull onto its bovine bo-dong.

[–]_Muad_Dib 1 point2 points ago

Now, picture this as Mohammed.

[–]evilfish4 -2 points-1 points ago

thats gay

[–]muzog -1 points0 points ago

Wouldn't that make a half squirrel half human thing? Not a electric mouse?

[–]TabethaRasa 1 point2 points ago

The idea is that he impregnated it with a lightning bolt.

[–]msbabypuggerfly -2 points-1 points ago

oh hell to the no!!! i would not like that right in the childhood and pikachus a mouse pokemon btw

[–]commodore-69 -2 points-1 points ago

The only WTF thing about this is the fact that pikachu is a mouse. Get your shit together OP

[–]Only_FaggotsReply2Me -5 points-4 points ago

this reminds me of when some stupid fucking gay mexicunt fucked a pig in the ass and invented swine flu. fucking mexicunt pig fuckers

[–]Throwawayengieguy 0 points1 point ago

Goddamnit, I'm a fag.

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